#YES like 7 hours of that 10 hours are cutscenes. so WHAT. make everyone watch the full story of ff10!!!!!

[luckydicekirby]

rpg speedruns that have step counts are so crazy that just does not seem fun to me. all rpg runs should be like ff9, where good movement will only get you so far avoiding encounters and the rest is up to god <3

#ff9 is such a charming speed run. #like two possible minor glitches and they are not that useful. game built like a steel trap for some reason #takes 9 hours trance will only ever hurt you there's a part where you have to be careful not to mash text too fast or it softlocks the game #actually my favorite rpg run is ff12 (non zodiac age) the technical skill and optimizations in that are insane. #i'm still bitter that since they got the cutscene remover working for ff10 they're never gonna do the full one in a gdq ever again #YES like 7 hours of that 10 hours are cutscenes. so WHAT. make everyone watch the full story of ff10!!!!! #and like it!!!!!!!

[overobsessedfanboy23]

Punch Out Wii Boxers Ranked

Thought I’d give my opinion on this since I’ve already expressed biases towards/against certain characters. I will be including Donkey Kong and Doc Louis but not Little Mac (because he is the objective best). The list will go from 15: the worst, to 1: the best. Before I start, I’d like to say that all of these characters are good, well-crafted characters, it really just comes down to personal bias who you prefer. And with that, let’s get started:

15. King Hippo

King Hippo is barely a character. Everything he “says” (there are apparently translations) just boils down to being hungry and he has no personality outside of that. I don’t hate him, but I don’t really care about him. His fight is also pretty boring all things considered. The contender fight is pitifully easy once you know what you’re doing and his title defense fight can go on for a long time and get very monotonous. At least his music’s kinda cool.

14. Super Macho Man

As someone who lives in America, I hate Macho Man with a burning passion. It’s not because I’m “patriotic,” it’s actually kind of the opposite. I’m not offended by his stereotype because it’s mean, I’m annoyed by his stereotype because it’s accurate. I deal with people like this on the daily: in the news. His catchphrases are obnoxious (except sometimes when they’re cut off. That’s kinda funny, admittedly) and he’s egotistical even compared to some of the others. He’s the type of person I actually want to punch in the face so I thank Punch Out for giving me that opportunity but I still hate the character. His match is fine. It’s a bit too easy in both contender and title defense compared to Soda and Bull but hey, at least they tried. His music’s alright.

13. Donkey Kong

Don’t get me wrong, I love Donkey Kong’s inclusion in this game. I think it’s amazing that Nintendo made a match for one of their most famous characters and the fight against him is very unique and challenging to win by KO. That being said, I never really played Donkey Kong so I don’t really have the connection to this character that others do. So yeah, great cameo, not one of my favourite fighters.

12. Bald Bull

Sorry, Bald Bull fans, but I’m not the biggest fan of this raging lunatic. In fact, he kinda creeps me out. People make jokes about Great Tiger being a furry (which he is), but Bald Bull straight up acts like a bull to the point of literally assaulting the poor referee. It’s kind of gross. To that same point, he is also completely shameless about his horrid anger issues which is personally not fun to watch. I get that he was driven mad by the paparazzi (or whatever that cutscene was trying to convey) but it’s still pretty over the top. I’m also not a big fan of his fights. It’s not too terribly difficult in contender mode (except the stupid bull charge) but it’s downright ridiculous in title defense. I firmly believe that his title defense match is the hardest in the entire game, yes even more difficult than TD Soda and TD Sandman. I cannot express with words how much I despise the star punch gimmick. Getting the star punches is frame perfect, making it feel like luck, and getting hit once makes you lose them all. And you need those stars to even knock him down. Seems a bit extreme for the middle fight in the world circuit, doesn’t it?! I was at this fight for hours and was over the moon when I finally managed to beat him. Also, his music kinda sucks. However, I put him over Macho Man because despite everything I just said, I don’t actually hate Bald Bull. I hate his fights but I don’t hate him personally like I do with obnoxious american.

11. Soda Popinski

Oh boy, Drunk Man. I don’t really see many reasons to like him but not any to hate him either, apart from his stupidly difficult fight, that is. I actually find it pretty easy in Contender. There’s a lot of strategies to knock him down really fast and his pattern is pretty basic. As for title defense, did they really need to make it that ridiculously hard? Yeah, there are tricks to make it easier and he has a set pattern but getting into the rhythm of that pattern is incredibly difficult and one slight mistake sets you back to two stun punches. It’s beyond frustrating. And yet the game deems him and Bald Bull to be easier than Macho Man. Why? As a character, Soda is just kinda there for me. It’s fun to make jokes about his steroid soda at least. Also, his music is for some reason one of my favourites tracks in the game. It’s just so epic.

10. Bear Hugger

Alright, now we’re onto the characters I actually like. Bear Hugger is a fun character. He’s one of the more exaggerated stereotypes though I can’t really say for sure whether this one is accurate or not but I’m guessing the maple syrup and hockey stuff at the very least is. I also love the squirrel. It’s implemented into the fight kind of oddly, but it makes his title defense fight pretty enjoyable. It’s a difficult fight but not one I’ve lost recently. The contender fight is fun too, it’s definitely one where I get to spam a ton of star punches. His music is good too. Not much to say on Bear Hugger, he’s fun but I like the other characters more.

9. Disco Kid

Kinda sad that the Wii version only introduced one new character to the roster but at least it was a fun character. Disco Kid’s matches are not a challenge. Contender mode, title defense, he’s one of the easiest fights in the game. He makes up for that by being incredibly over the top flamboyant and cocky, this time in a fun way. I like that he dances throughout his whole fight, I think it’s cool when every little aspect of someone’s match ties into who the character is. Disco Kid is a flamboyant dancer and that is perfectly shown through his mannerisms in the fights. I especially love how in Title Defense, he’s not really bitter or determined to beat Mac he’s just like, “Oh a dance club? This is cool, might as well work this stuff into my boxing routine.” It’s pretty excellent. I’m not a huge fan of disco, but his theme music is pretty good.

8. Aran Ryan

If there’s one thing I’ve seen since joining this site, it’s a lot of Aran Ryan. People on here really love this guy and even many of the YouTubers I’ve seen play this game say he is one of if not their favourite character in the game. Personally, I think he’s a little overrated. However, I do still like him and see why other people like him. He’s sort of a “love to hate” kind of character with him being a complete psycho that’s probably a sadist and a masochist considering how he seems to enjoy being punched and beating the hell out of everyone. It’s fun in a twisted way. His fights are also both pretty fun. Everyone really likes the cheating aspect and yeah, it’s pretty ridiculous that he can literally bring in a weapon and get away with it. However, it also makes his fight stand out from the others. He’s so horrible that he’s just fun to beat up. It’s also the only world circuit fight in title defense that I don’t hate with every fibre of my being. So yeah, fun character, with excellent music might I add.

7. Glass Joe

Here’s another favourite here on Tumblr. To be honest, the fact that people on here liked Aran Ryan didn’t surprise me at all. In fact, it seemed perfectly in character. However, it did surprise me to see how many people liked Glass Joe. I thought he was kind of underrated before but now I see that he’s getting the love he deserves. I love how even though Glass Joe is in every way a french stereotype, he also directly defies the stereotype of the french being quick to surrender. He lost one hundred times and still didn’t give up, becoming determined to defeat Little Mac after earning the headgear. It’s unironically really admirable. Glass Joe’s fights are never a challenge. Contender, title defense, champion’s mode, motion controls, he’s always kind of a joke. However, he is meant to be a tutorial fight for new players and this game gets much more challenging as it goes on, so it’s understandable. They did do a good job at making him more challenging in title defense, but it was still pretty easy at least in my opinion.

6. Von Kaiser

Von Kaiser’s a little underrated in this fandom. Maybe I’m speaking from bias, since I have so many headcanons about him but I really do think he’s a good character. He is just as much of a coward as Glass Joe and isn’t a much better fighter (his contender and title defense fights are both incredibly simple) yet Von Kaiser has a significantly better record than the rest of the minor circuit and even Bear Hugger, with 23 wins and 13 losses. He must’ve gotten those wins from somewhere and I doubt they were all from Glass Joe. That combined with the fact that Kaiser is the oldest boxer in the game (42) makes me think he was once a great boxer but has now passed his prime and refuses to give up, sort of like Glass Joe, but a little more tragic. Regardless, it’s fun to speculate. And I feel kinda bad for Von Kaiser, I mean the dude gets beat up by kids and basically goes mad after being beaten by a seventeen year old boxing newbie. Also, his music is pretty intense despite the fact that he’s treated like a joke by the game. Like Glass Joe, they did do a good job of making Kaiser more difficult in title defense by giving him a one hit KO and plenty of fake outs, though I don’t particularly struggle with either of those.

5. Sandman

Sandman is scary as hell. None of the other boxers really intimidate me, even the one with ridiculously difficult fights, but Sandman is a different story. Everyone else in the game has some kind of silly quirk even when they are serious but this guy is deadly serious about boxing. I mean, they introduce him by showing him beat the shit out of everyone you just faced before, some of which the player may have struggled with. It’s a great introduction for a final boss. His fight in contender is certainly the hardest in that mode and while I didn’t struggle with his title defense fight as much as TD Soda and TD Bull, it was still incredibly hard to beat. And unlike TD Soda and TD Bull, he actually has final boss vibes, so he does deserve his rank (unlike some other characters). Similar to Aran Ryan, his fight also requires the player to be more on offense, at least in my experience.

#4 Doc Louis

Doc Louis is severely underrated in this fandom and just in general. I love how encouraging he is to Little Mac even when he loses repeatedly, I love his silly tips that more often than not are cheesy dad jokes or puns. He’s just a good wholesome dad that loves his chocolate. I love him. Sadly, I have not played Doc Louis’s Punch Out so I don’t really have a perspective on how the fight is apart from videos online but it does look pretty fun, and it’s freaking Doc Louis. How can you not love him?

#3 Piston Hondo

This guy is also kind of underrated, maybe because he’s a bit vanilla? I don’t know, but apart from Sandman, he is undoubtedly the most serious about boxing. It’s actually a bit scary. I mean, this dude can catch a sword in his bare hands and outrun the bullet train, he could easily become champion after Little Mac retires. In fact, for me at least, his title defense fight is the most challenging fight in the major circuit for me. Yes, harder than Bear Hugger and Great Tiger. Those fake outs and speedy Hondo Rushes kept getting me. So yeah, very dedicated to boxing. He’s also just very respectable in general, keeping a calm demeanor throughout the fight and even bowing to show respect. He also doesn’t laugh at you when you get knocked down like literally everyone else does. (Apart from Don, but he still taunts you by asking if you want more.) Yeah, he gloats, but he’s a good sport. It’s nice to see someone who plays fair amongst a crowd of cheaters.

#2 Don Flamenco

Yet another character I’m surprised doesn’t get more attention in this fandom. I dunno, maybe my opinions are just weird. That being said, Don Flamenco was always going to be one of my favourites as he is the only foreign speaker in this entire game I can understand without subtitles. Though even if you don’t know spanish, Don’s character is still very clear and very amazing. Like, I’m sorry, but his contender intro is the best sequence in the entire game. You know immediately what he’s all about and it’s just so beautifully over the top to see this try hard dance his way into the ring with a rose. Actually, “beautifully over the top” is a great description for Don Flamenco in general. He hits every note of the “Spanish man” stereotype in the first few seconds you see him: being a bullfighter, getting all the girls, dancing the flamenco, and just being handsome in general. I don’t know if that last one is an actual stereotype but it’s undeniably true. And none of that is a bad thing. He is a positive figure, if a little cocky, and all of these things that the game could make fun of him for (the NES version certainly does), are actually shown in a positive light. I’m not too fond of bullfighting being shown in that light but it is very popular in Spain so… eh. Also, I do like that Don Flamenco fights like a bullfighter in the ring, baiting you into “charging” or attacking before countering. It’s a nice detail. However, it does make the fight a little too easy. In contender mode, even without doing the infinite, I barely have any trouble with him. He’s easy to get stars off of, his attacks are not that hard to dodge or counter, and if you do the infinite combo, you can destroy him in seconds. In title defense, he is more difficult for sure, but he’s the easiest fight title defense fight in the major circuit. That being said, holy cow is he amazing in title defense as well. He was already over the top in contender but in title defense, after one loss might I add, he acts like it’s the end of the world and becomes completely emo. This could’ve been completely obnoxious or stupid but in my opinion, it makes him very entertaining. He’s just so fun to watch in general, I love his epic music, and I love this angsty telenovela character. Amo al personaje Don Flamenco. El es tan entretenido y guapo. Necesita más amor. Because I mentioned that I know spanish earlier and the first first thing people always ask me is to speak some so there you go. Onto number one.

1. Great Tiger

If you’ve seen my other stuff here on Tumblr, you probably knew this was coming. My very first post on Tumblr, as well as the second, was about Great Tiger and I have tons of pictures of him in my likes. I guess I just have a thing for charming arrogant divas. Seriously, while he’s not as over the top as someone like Disco Kid or Don Flamenco, Great Tiger is a total diva and kind of a show off. He’s always using his clones to glorify himself or taunt you, which would normally be annoying but for some reason, it’s not in his case. And it’s not because I don’t know what he’s saying, the inflection in his voice makes it clear enough that he’s trash talking (and I’ve looked up translations). It’s because Great Tiger has a sort of cold determination, like he is ready to destroy you first, glorify himself after, probably the reason he doesn’t have a taunt, unlike nearly everyone else in the game. He is completely focused on the match and very cool-headed as well. He’s very respectable, even when he’s literally telling you to go drink your mother’s milk. On a side note, I looked up those translations as a kid and I still can’t get over the fact that that is something he actually says. Like, what on earth Nintendo? Still, it’s kinda funny to me. Anyways, I love Great Tiger’s fights. His contender form is fun and I love that intermission scene where he switches places with Doc, showing what a likeable douche he is but his title defense form is my favourite in the game. I really love the magical element, what can I say? The flashing jewel is like a game of Simon put to boxing, I love that he teleports all over the place, the Magic Rush is gorgeous bullshit, and the fight keeps me on my toes but not to the point of being impossibly hard. It’s also fun to experiment with certain elements of the fight, because it can be incredibly varied depending on what you do. just really fun. Whether I do the special knockout or play through the whole fight, I have a fun time fighting Great Tiger. It also helps that his music is spectacular, my favourite in the game. I dunno, those bongos just feel so good on the ears. Great Tiger is also just really interesting in general, and I feel like there’s a lot of unanswered questions about him. How does he have magic? (I know the NES version has an explanation for this but the Wii version does not and is substantially different.) What is the extent of his abilities? Is the jewel the source of his power? It seemed to be directly linked to his corporeal clones in title defense. Is he even of this world? I don’t know, but damn it’s fun to speculate on. I’d love a story just about his backstory, how he got his magic, how he became a boxer, I care about that stuff. So yeah, Great Tiger is the most interesting character in this game, and that’s why he’s my favourite. (I also low-key crush on him, but that’s subjective :)

Anyways, hope you enjoyed my list, it was kinda long, but I have a lot of opinions on this game and this is a good place to put it.

#punch out #punch out wii #glass joe #von kaiser #disco kid #king hippo #piston hondo #bear hugger #great tiger #don flamenco #aran ryan #soda popinski #bald bull #super macho man #mr.sandman #sandman #opinions #favorite characters

[megatentious]

Fragments of Forgotten Message Board Posts

Dragon Quest wasn’t always my favorite RPG series (I have three favorite RPG series right now). But here is a short story with a couple of twists and turns about how it became my favorite; also, this story is my personal retrospective review of Dragon Quest 7.

My first memory of Dragon Quest, before it became the series that makes my heart feel full, was a short preview of Dragon Quest 6 from the EGM import corner. I must have known about Dragon WARRIOR much earlier than that (even though we never had a Nintendo I was sufficiently FF-enthused to know about the Big Rival to Final Fantasy) but memories work in funny ways and that’s the one I have. I remember the caption on the screenshot pointed out how impressive it was that there were so many items on the bookshelves. I remember thinking this game looked so incredible, and how if it was anywhere as good as “Final Fantasy III” that it was going to be a must play.

But how was I going to play it? The answer, in 1995, was to have a best friend who went to Asia every summer and brought back dozens of carts and CDs each time. One of those carts was Dragon Quest 6, and once I scooped out my Super Nintendo’s innards to allow myself the ability to play, I was treated to an evocative campfire and SNES strings and a dream-like atmosphere that was everything I’d hoped for. I could only manage to get through a few hours of it without any JP language skills, but that was more than enough to leave a lasting impression.

I know that Dragon Quest 6 is a weird answer to the question of the first Dragon Quest you played. I’m not one of the NES kids who started with Dragon Warrior, or any who started later with the ports on Gameboy Color, or anyone who started even later with the ports on DS or 8 on PS2 or 11. I began my affair with Dragon Quest with expectations that this series had top of the line production values, and so this may begin to explain the mindset with which I approached Dragon Quest 7.

DRAGON WARRIOR VII is a game I bought at launch on my six year old Playstation after years of waiting, ready to experience this storied series in English for the first time. I don’t know why I didn’t know about any of the GBC ports, but despite some trepidation at the environmental visuals I was excited to start. And for the first 40 hours or so, I had a wonderful time. The structure was so intriguing to me, the battle scaling so modest but compelling. However, by Hour 100 (this is a period of time in my life in which every RPG I played got finished no matter what) my attitude about the game and Dragon Quest in general reached the point where 10 years later I was still sufficiently … passionate enough to make message board posts like this:

So the upshot here is that Dragon Quest 7 was a game that made me resent a series I was supposed to love, which in my mind made this game unforgivable. Months after making this post I would finally play Dragon Quest 5 on PS2 on my laptop and my love for the series would skyrocket further (one day I will write an essay about that perfect game and the lengths I went to more perfectly play it). And then one year after that they would announce a remake of DQ7 for Nintendo 3DS.

This announcement. Rather than do what everyone was expecting and churn out yet another DS-engine (which was based on the OG DQ7 engine!) “remake”, this was a full visual overhaul with 3D cutscene direction, maps for all dungeons, a fragment finder, and symphonic soundtrack. In other words, a remake that addressed virtually every complaint I had with my original DQ7 experience.

Time to briefly return to that original DQ7 experience. How to reflect on my memories of that playthrough? The memories I had when I made that angry post? The memories of making that angry post? The memories I have today? The truth about that experience is that I played DQ7 in the worst possible way you could play it. The game felt boring and repetitive to me in the back half because I marathoned it all at once over the course of a few weeks. The characters felt lifeless to me because I never actually used party chat (and party chat was more limited in the PSX version). The music began to grate on me because I wasn’t listening to dreamy Super Nintendo strings or more crucially, the full symphonic soundtrack I would later associate so strongly with so many of my personal Dragon Quest experiences. 

And what about those vignettes I called charmless and dull? Well, even by 2014 I was hedging on that, wondering in message board posts if the visual and sonic revamp with actual cutscene direction would allow these stories to leave more of an impact for me. The ultimate answer to my hypothesis was unequivocally, yes, these stories left more of an impact for me.

I’m never the one you’ll hear arguing against a game giving you friction (my other favorite RPG series is SaGa), but in this case all of the QOL smoothing in the remake, the fragment finder, the previous event summary, the in-game mapping, the tablet consolidation, all of this allows you the space to refocus your attention on the game’s most potent strengths. Rather than leaving you with a sensation of oppressively aimless retreading and a feeling of being lost (and not feeling lost in the good way, like many of my favorites in my other other favorite RPG series, which is the one this tumblr was supposed to be exclusively about) the smoothness of play lets you see the slowly unspooling world (love a psx rpg with a slowly unspooling world!!) not as a constellation of chores but for what it truly is.

That true and modest spirit of Dragon Quest, these warmly human fables that are meant to linger with you, that one line buried in party chat that is meant to devastate you, a nested series of stories that build and connect over time until you’re left marvelling at the genius of the construction. When I made that post in the past, I didn’t have any memories of the story of the noble priest of Vogograd and the truth that is left to a future generation of children to build. Is it 20 years of age and experience and memories that allowed for me to find that story so moving? Or was it the space the smoothing in this remake left for me to better understand the meaning of this game? 

I bought the DQ7 remake at launch five years after making that post, and I started and finished the DQ7 remake 5 years after buying it, which is, again, 20 years after I first finished it. How much time has to pass before you revisit the first Dragon Quest you ever finished, playing through the game you thought you hated, but maybe always suspected you could love? When do you allow yourself to return to old memories and then make new ones? 

Time hasn’t erased every one of DQ7’s problems, there is still some dungeon padding and some repetition, and there are also new problems with occasional localization issues and symbol encounter issues. But as with any game, you form memories of flaws and memories of strengths, and if you watch the credits and listen to the symphonic credits theme and search your heart and the memories of the flaws already seem distant, then you know you’ve just played a game that is a great. Dragon Quest 7 is a great game and a great Dragon Quest. You know you truly a cherish a series when you are willing to wait until it is the perfect time to play, and time after time, whether for DQ3, or DQ5, or DQ11, DQ is the series I cherish enough to wait for. 20 years after finishing was the time I needed to revisit DQ7, and closing this loop is the perfect gift I could give to myself.

In conclusion, Square Enix please announce HD 2D DQ4 ASAP for me thank you.

#dragon quest #dragon quest 7 #meandering retrospectives #dq4life

[aion-rsa]

10 Best Fighting Game Movies

https://ift.tt/31CS0wp

Once upon a time, Bruce Lee, Jim Kelly, and John Saxon visited a crime boss’ private island to compete in a fighting tournament and it was awesome. The 1973 movie Enter the Dragon is basically the prototype for the fighting games like Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter. And when those fighting games became popular, they inspired their own movies that either tried to emulate Enter the Dragon or do something completely new.

The ‘90s gave us the cheesy live-action fighting game movies from Hollywood and the animated movies from Japan. There have been several live-action Mortal Kombat movies as well as a few animated ones. There have also been multiple Street Fighter movies, four attempts at Tekken, a trilogy of Fatal Fury films, and more.

Are most of them bad? Yes. But did we pick our 10 favorite fighting game movies anyway? You bet. Here are our picks:

10. ART OF FIGHTING (1993)

Eh…it’s harmless.

The Art of Fighting series is mostly defined by the twist that the first game’s final boss is the main character’s father and the second game’s final boss is a younger incarnation of the villain from Fatal Fury. Take away those aspects and you’re left with a rather lowkey storyline for a fighting game where a teenage girl is kidnapped by a mobster and is rescued by her brother and her boyfriend.

Wait, I said that weird. It’s two different people, I swear! Except in Capcom, where Dan Hibiki is literally both of them merged into one character.

In the 45-minute Art of Fighting movie about Ryo and Robert, who are like chiller and dopier versions of Ryu and Ken, we watch as the duo gets sucked into a plot about stolen diamonds, martial arts criminals, and angry police lieutenants. It doesn’t take itself seriously and it’s a fine, breezy watch.

Ryo’s incorrect hair color kind of irks me, though.

9. STREET FIGHTER ALPHA: THE ANIMATION (1999)

This movie suffers from the same problem as Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture. It features a cast of heroes from a fighting game taking on a villain created for the movie instead of the villains we actually give a shit about. But the movie does also have some brief but awesome cameos (Kim Kaphwan and Geese Howard from Fatal Fury and Dan Hibiki and Akuma from Street Fighter Alpha) to brighten up a less-than-stellar plot.

Street Fighter Alpha: The Animation does at least get by because the original characters play up Ryu’s whole fear about being overcome by “the Dark Hadou.” This leads to some cool animations where Evil Ryu looks like a mindless, shambling zombie but also an unstoppable fighting machine.

The movie’s main storyline is about a kid named Shun who claims that he’s Ryu’s long-lost brother. He too is a fighter cursed with an inner dark side, which is used as a red herring to suggest that Shun’s father (and presumably Ryu’s father) is actually Akuma. That ends up being bupkis and Shun is just linked to some scheme by a mad scientist or whatever.

Probably the funniest thing about this movie is the directors’ infatuation with Chun-Li’s midsection. She’s wearing her form-fitting Street Fighter Alpha costume and there are dozens upon dozens of random close-ups to her lower torso from the front and back. If this were a drinking game, it would kill you.

8. FATAL FURY 2: THE NEW BATTLE (1993)

Of the Fatal Fury movie trilogy, this one is easily the best, even if it makes all the good guys seem like a bunch of overly-serious crybabies. The basic story is that after having avenged his father’s death, Terry hits rock bottom, dusts himself off, and comes out the other end stronger. Good, good. Going Rocky III is the perfect direction for a follow-up.

The problem is that Terry comes off as a bit of a whiner and the other heroes try way too hard to vilify the movie’s main antagonist, who hasn’t actually done anything that terrible. Krauser shows up one day, challenges Terry to a fight, wins, and says, “Okay, when you get better, train and fight me again.” Krauser isn’t trying to take over the world or murder orphans or whatever. He’s just a dude with huge shoulder armor who wants a good fight.

But everyone acts like Krauser’s the absolute worst. Terry starts drinking and falls to pieces while his buddies hope to get revenge. What a bunch of jerks.

While a fun romp, the worst thing about this sequel is how they redesigned Krauser. Gone is his mustache and forehead scar for the sake of making him seem younger. Kind of a bullshit move, considering he’s supposed to be the half-brother to middle-aged Geese Howard.

7. TEKKEN: THE MOTION PICTURE (1998)

This hour-long anime is almost great but just can’t stick the landing. It runs into the same problem as Mortal Kombat: Annihilation where the game series tells a specific overall story but the movie cuts corners to tell the same story. Tekken: The Motion Picture covers the first Tekken while setting up Tekken 3 and skipping Tekken 2 completely.

It means that everything’s well and good until the confusing and rushed finale. Otherwise, the movie is a fine use of the Enter the Dragon formula. Heihachi Mishima has a special island fighting tournament and the entrants include his vengeful son, a couple of cops investigating the situation, a gigantic robot, an angry Native American girl, two feuding assassin sisters, and a bunch of awesome characters who only get about three full frames of appearances each. Really would have liked to see something from Paul, King, and Yoshimitsu, though.

Other than Kazuya being pissed at everything, the best scenes are the over-the-top ones. When Jack does crazy robot stuff, when dinosaurs show up and start eating people, and that memorable sequence where Heihachi catches a hatchet with his mouth and then shatters it with his jaw.

6. STREET FIGHTER (1994)

I know this movie is just a GI Joe script with Street Fighter names pasted over it. I know it’s a cheesefest of dopey ideas and Belgian accents. I’ve long accepted that. Thing is, the movie is still a total blast to watch. What it lacks in faithfulness to the source material, it makes up for with pure camp and ham.

The 16 characters from Super Street Fighter II are represented here, except Fei Long is replaced with the forgettable Captain Sawada. How ironic that the movie star character isn’t even in the movie!

In general, the movie features some head-scratching depictions of classic Street Fighter characters. All-American Guile is played by Jean Claude Van Damme, Charlie Nash and Blanka are the same character, Dee Jay is an evil hacker, Ryu and Ken are comedic conmen, and Dhalsim is a frumpy scientist.

It’s Raul Julia’s M. Bison who keeps this guilty pleasure afloat. He’s to Street Fighter what Frank Langella’s Skeletor was to Masters of the Universe. He gives 110% and his performance is easily the best reason to watch this movie. It’s truly a wonder to behold.

Read more

Games

The Forgotten Fighting Games of the 1990s

By Gavin Jasper

Games

King of Fighters: Ranking All the Characters

By Gavin Jasper

The movie is infamous for inspiring a fighting game based on it, but you know what nobody ever talks about? The Double Dragon movie also had a fighting game based on it made by Technos and released on the Neo Geo. And Double Dragon wasn’t even a one-on-one fighter to begin with!

Anyway, if you intend to sit back and watch Street Fighter, make sure to add in the RiffTrax commentary.

5. DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE (2006)

Enter the Dragon meets Charlie’s Angels is a heck of a concept, but DOA: Dead or Alive is so confidently tongue-in-cheek that it succeeds as an action comedy that’s way better than it has any right to be. Part of why it works is that Dead or Alive has never had much of an overarching storyline, but is more defined by the individual characters (plus, you know, all the cheesecake). Enough of those characters appear in what’s your regular “fighting tournament on a mysterious island” setup.

The whole thing moves with such energy that it’s easy to get sucked in. It’s the opposite of the live-action Tekken movie, where even though the film features accurate versions of all the characters, everything is so drab and lifeless that you just can’t wait for it to be over. In DOA, the combatants spend their downtime playing cartoony action volleyball with Fake Dennis Rodman on commentary, while in Tekken everyone mopes about dystopian capitalism.

Other than Helena’s character being “important dead guy’s daughter,” most of the main characters are charismatic enough to keep your attention during the 3% of the movie when fights aren’t happening. It must suck for Ninja Gaiden fans that Hayabusa is depicted as a total dweeb, but he at least gets to do some cool stuff here and there.

The movie also has Kevin Nash playing a character based on Hollywood Hogan and he’s so likeable that I’m genuinely bummed that he peaces out about halfway into the movie. Luckily, the movie is entertaining enough that I didn’t even notice until after it was over. It helps that during that time, we get more of Eric Roberts, his amazing hair, and his special sunglasses that turn him into the ultimate martial arts master.

Spoiler alert, but the secret to defeating him is, get this, removing his sunglasses!

4. MORTAL KOMBAT LEGENDS: SCORPION’S REVENGE (2020)

It took a while, but Warner Bros. Animation is on fire these days. After that Batman vs. TMNT movie and Teen Titans Go vs. Teen Titans, the studio appears to be hitting more than they miss. That’s exactly the kind of team needed to put together the latest animated Mortal Kombat movie.

This is the umpteenth retelling of the first game’s story. Not only does it have to compete with the first live-action movie, but also the events of Mortal Kombat 9, which depicts the tournament in cutscene format. Fortunately, Scorpion’s Revenge has a few tricks up its sleeve. First, it puts Scorpion in the forefront as the protagonist. He was barely a character in the original movie and the game just had him kill Sub-Zero and feel bad about it for the rest of the story mode. Now he feels like a character in a crossover, making a mark on the original story instead of being put in the sidelines.

We also have the wonderful stunt casting of Joel McHale as Johnny Cage. More importantly, Jennifer Carpenter plays Sonya Blade, which is such a step up from Ronda Rousey’s voice acting in Mortal Kombat 11.

This cartoon has a very hard R when it comes to violence. From the very beginning, Scorpion’s origins are gruesome and grisly. Once Jax is introduced, it doesn’t take long until we realize, “Oh, that’s how they’re dealing with THAT plot point in this continuity.” Then there’s a surprise villain death late in the movie that not only comes as a shocking development, but it’s so graphic and nasty that you can’t help but be taken aback.

Scorpion’s Revenge is a fantastic first chapter of what is hopefully a series of animated movies, but it does have its pacing issues. Scorpion being the protagonist may be a welcome change, but at times it does feel like a square peg being crammed into a round hole.

3. TEKKEN: BLOOD VENGEANCE (2011)

One of the best things about the Tekken series is the endings. While the cutscenes from the first couple games haven’t exactly aged well, these CGI epilogues have become a staple in nearly every installment. What better reward for your time and success than watching a rocking action sequence with Yoshimitsu and Bryan Fury killing each other in the jungle?

And so, to play to the series’ strengths, Bandai Entertainment released a Tekken movie that’s really just one big ending cutscene. It’s not canon, but it feels at home with the games.

Since Tekken’s main conflict is with two ruthless megalomaniacs (Heihachi and Kazuya) and a disgruntled nihilist (Jin), it’s hard to treat any of them as a real protagonist here. Instead, they go with Ling Xiaoyu, who is portrayed as the person who sees the good in Jin and wants him to see the light. She’s given a robotic BFF in Alisa Bosconovitch because Xiaoyu is kind of a tame character and needs someone with chainsaw arms and a jetpack to liven things up.

The first hour or so is good enough to keep your attention and its lightened up by a couple appearances by Tekken’s best character, Lee. But once it gets to the third act, it just becomes a completely awesome Heihachi vs. Kazuya vs. Jin fight, with Xiaoyu taking a backseat to watch all the crazy shit going on. It’s a full-on fireworks factory, as we not only see Devil forms of Kazuya and Jin but a very special final form for Heihachi that’s a true delight for Tekken fans.

2. STREET FIGHTER II: THE ANIMATED MOVIE (1994)

Let it be said that for someone who grew up in the ‘80s and ‘90s, finding a faithful cartoon adaptation of a video game property was not easy. Link and Simon Belmont were unlikable sexual harassers. Mega Man was a more annoying sidekick than Scrappy Doo. Mario and Luigi teamed up with Milli Vanilli. Power Team was…a thing. When we got an animated movie based on Street Fighter II, it was mind-blowing. This was a movie where the very first scene was Ryu tearing Sagat’s chest into a bloody gash thanks to a well-animated Shoryuken.

There’s a lot going on in this movie, but at the same time, nothing is going on. By this point, there were 17 characters in the various Street Fighter II games, and outside of a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Akuma cameo, it feels the need to include every single one of them. Some get minor roles, like Cammy and Dee Jay. Then there’s Zangief and Blanka, who fight each other for no reason other than for the sake of giving them something to do. Even Ryu vanishes for a huge chunk of the runtime.

Once everything funnels into the third act, this movie is great. And the earlier fight scenes are straight fire too, including the memorable Chun-Li vs. Vega brawl. Even though the movie already feels true to Street Fighter II, it’s even better when you realize that it’s all supposed to be a prequel to the game itself.

Or at least I hope so. Otherwise, all Sagat gets to do is get his ass kicked by Ryu and get chewed out by Bison.

1. MORTAL KOMBAT (1995)

The stars truly aligned for this one. Mortal Kombat Mania was at its peak, so it makes sense that this movie was a retelling of the first game’s story with added aspects from the second game, all while hyping up the arcade release of the third game. CGI was such a novelty in Hollywood in the ’90s that even if it looked primitive, it still looked cutting edge at the time. It was the perfect time to release this movie.

But Mortal Kombat isn’t perfect. Reptile is embarrassing. Scorpion and Sub-Zero being relegated to goons still stings. I still roll my eyes at the part towards the end where Sonya is suddenly the damsel in distress and Raiden flat-out verbally buries her by saying she couldn’t beat Shang Tsung in a million years. Otherwise, it’s the perfect storm of ‘90s action garbage.

There are so many over-the-top and charismatic performances here. Johnny Cage, Raiden, Shang Tsung, Kano, and even Goro are a blast to watch. All 10 characters from the original game are given something to do and, most importantly, they realize how uniquely weird the game’s story is and actually dive headfirst into it. The movie isn’t embarrassed to be a Mortal Kombat movie but handles itself well enough that we aren’t embarrassed to be watching a Mortal Kombat movie.

Even with a PG-13 rating, the movie was violent enough. Kano talked up seeing a pile of frozen guts in the wake of a Sub-Zero fight, Scorpion got his skull sliced apart with demon brain goo spewing all over the place, and Shang Tsung got impaled to death.

With the reboot being rated R, going for the gore could very well be the right route to go, but for the love of the Elder Gods, don’t forget to have FUN. All I’m saying is, if even Johnny Cage isn’t hamming it up, then what’s the point?

The post 10 Best Fighting Game Movies appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[theofficialautisticgamer]

No Tails, Not True Dat Why Sonic Forces' Story Is An Epic Fail Critique by TheAutisticGamer (Michael) SPOILERS FOR SONIC FORCES DOWN BELOW! WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE! People who play Sonic games are so divided nowadays. There are the ones who hate every modern Sonic Game, then there are the people complaining about the ones hating every modern Sonic Game, then there are the people who think Generations and Mania are the only good ones, but we also have people who think the Modern Games are good with the exception of the Xbox 360 Sonic The Hedgehog and Sonic Boom Rise of Lyric... It's just a god damn mess. But, for me, I haven't played a 3D Sonic Game since Sonic and the Black Knight (which I liked at the time) but when I finally played through Sonic Forces, I liked it. I liked the graphics, the short burst gameplay (Even if it's two and a half hours long) and the awesome kick ass soundtrack which was the Persona 5 of the Sonic series. However, aside from one of the worst and most cringe worthy villains of all time, there is one thing that Sonic Forces fails at tremendously. The story. Now people might think, Michael, of course the story is going to be shit, Sonic Adventure 2 had the moon blow up in half and the Earth didn't go out of orbit with the other planets. Or Michael, Shadow The Hedgehog's story made you play through it 10 times just to get to the real ending. This is on a whole nother level of shit. First, even if Sonic Forces had a good story, we would still have to sit through some of the most cringe worthy dialogue and scenes ever put to game by Sonic Team. So lets get into why the story was an epic fail, even for a decent game and how we could have fixed it. Basically, Eggman is planning something big and laughs evily at his new creation. Then, all of a sudden, you're thrown into a level with Modern Day Sonic with Tails being like "OMFG SONIC EGGMAN IS ATTACKING EVERY1 HELP!!11" and it feels really rushed and disjointed. The level ends pretty quickly as well so then you get to another cutscene where Sonic saves Tails and some generic looking OC characters. Who are they? Why should we care if Eggman kills them? With the exception of Tails? Then, Eggman beats Sonic while Tails looks at his IPad or whatever he has and DOES LITERALLY NOTHING TO HELP HIM. Tails doesn't just fly into action trying to fight the hallucinations of characters, he just sits there saying "HMMM... I can't identify them." Basically, everyone then thinks Sonic is dead and Eggman takes over the whole world. Uhm, you know, there are other people who wouldn't take that shit. Where is the military? Where is the president from Sonic Adventure 2? Where is ambassadors of peace? Seriously? No one? Of fucking course, because this world only has one human and millions of anthropomorphic people who do jack shit. So Silver, Knuckles and everyone else form a rebellion and say some pretty bad dialogue and then we are introduced to our OC who you create. Knuckles immediately tells him to go on a mission that could get him killed even though it's his first day on the job. So that's when we find out Sonic is alived and has been tortured for months. But when we see Sonic, he is acting like "AH YEAWH, DIS IS HAPPENIN!" from his Sonic Adventure type of character. This is not believable at all. First, he doesn't look like he is scarred, bruised, bloody, battered, anything that would make him look like he had been tortured. What was the torture? Making him watch Jersey Shore? Because that could psychologically damage him and not kill him. Also, he gets out easily because for some reason his bonds are untied automatically and then he fights Zavok and... punches him? SINCE WHEN DOES SONIC PUNCH PEOPLE!? So the OC rescues Sonic and even though Sonic was apparently tortured for months, Knuckles asks him to immediately go on a dangerous mission with the OC that could potentially kill him because of his apparent tortured state. You know what? I'm thinking he was tortured with boredom because he doesn't do anything. The whole game then consists of Tails trying to get Omega working, then Classic Sonic apparently shows up and Tails says "Oh, you're that Sonic from another dimension, Yeah, that makes 100% Total Accurate Not Bullshit Sense" which makes no sense at all considering we have no clue how we got there. Later, Tails joins up with Modern Sonic, OC and the Rebels and mostly it's just boring from there. Sonic makes a joke about how it's been Generations (GEDDIT IT'S A THROWBACK TO GENERATIONS!11) and it's cringey as all hell. It's not until we get to the big city that things start turning for the worst again. Eggman decides to pull something out of his ass then after Sonic meets him called Null Space that's apparently something you can't get out of. Sonic gets out of it immediately with OC. Also Tail's instead of going "SONIC NOOOO!!!11" goes "How can this be!? I thought we did Blah Blah Blah!" Way to be concerned with your friend pal. This is a Deus Ex Machin if I ever seen one as Sonic just blasts out of Null Space because why not. Then, oh god... The rebels, Sonic, Classic Sonic, OC and a hundred cut and paste generic OC Characters get together for the final "Epic" battle. First, everything is wrong. It's just the same OCS copy and pasted over and over again making me not care for them at all because they are literally the exact same. The charge is just embarassing and one of the worst things I have ever seen in a game. The fighting is also not exciting. Everyone seems to either use Wispons or Hand to hand Combat and it's just boring as fuck. The whole story led up to this and then... WAIT OMEGA IS BACK!? Yes, for some reason, Omega is now turned on and is ready to fight even though he couldn't possibly have known where the fight was taking place. What the actual fuck. Basically, the story is just more boredom from there as you play as Classic Sonic and OC as everyone starts brooding how they're going to die. Then, the big bad null space goes away and then we fight Infinite who is easy as hell and then you fight Eggman and apparently kill him. He's not seen going to jail after he has been beaten or people throwing rocks at him for being a dick, he just dies and that's it. Wow. That's kind of dark. Then it becomes incredibly stupid again. Classic Sonic fades away for some reason without any explanation of the science of it from Tails, the genius in science and engineering. Sonic throws a blatant and convoluted message at the audience and Tails then says the worst thing ever: "True Dat" Fuck you Sonic Team. So, the story is a gigantic epic fucking failure of behemoth proportions that couldn't have been saved because Sonic Team was on crack this whole time. Or could it? How would I have written the story to Sonic Forces? I would have done it kind of like The Empire Strikes Back. See, Sonic Generations was the light hearted adventures of Sonic and Classic Sonic just like how it was a fun adventure in Star Wars (A New Hope) with Luke, Ben/Obi Wan Kenobi, Han, Leia, Chewy, C-3PO and R2-D2. This should have been the dark horse of the series. The story should have been much more darker, while having a few funny moments here and there. The dialogue should be semi serious like a Marvel Movie, the villain should be three dimensional and tragic instead of edgy edgelord who cuts peoples hearts out with his brooding edginess. So basically, here is the ten things they could have done: 1. Have Sonic actually been tortured for months at the start, show him bruised up and lost some of his power. 2. Have the villain be a tragic hero who helps Sonic and the team defeat Eggman and realize he is not a slave to him. 3. Cut the kiddy crap and have actual edge. Not too much, just enough to make people actually care about what's going on. 4. Have a bunch of the OC characters look different and make them have back stories and personalities or quips like "Before the war I was baker, now I live in poverty because the economy crashed" 5. Don't make the story so fast paced, it makes everything feel disjointed as all hell. 6. Have Tails use actual science to explain things about Infinite, Classic Sonic, Null Space, that stuff instead of being a useless twat. 7. Have the OC Character talk and have some interesting dialogue and interactions with the Rebels. 8. Cut all the filler crap, it just makes the story and the gameplay boring to play and watch. 9. Make Omega a bigger part of the story. Why is Tail's repairing Omega? Is he significant at all? Can he possibly stop Eggman and Infinite? 10. None of that assinine dialogue meme crap like "True Dat" or Knuckles being a dumbass. Have actual character conversations and dialogue and some funny quips here and there to contrast the dark with the light. These things could at least make the story decent, if not interesting and pretty good. I'm not saying I want a Goodfellas story or Citizen Kane performances, I just want the story to not be so idiotic and brain dead. Everything about Sonic Forces story sucks (including the Shadow DLC, but that's a whole nother story), but that doesn't mean it's an entirely bad game. The graphics and good for the most part, the environments are colorful and classic, the handling of characters feels okay, the gameplay is short burst and fun. The only other complaint I have is that the game should have been longer. I hope you understand where I come from when making this critique. It's not to bash on Sonic or trash this game, it's to tell you how not to write a story and how not to do dialogue. Hopefully, Sonic Team will learn their lesson and make another Hybrid Sonic game with actual heart and edge to it. But not too much edge.

#sonic forces #game criticism #game review #the autistic gamer #how long to beat

[terryblount]

Here’s All 69 (!) Game Announcements From The Kinda Funny Games Showcase

With no main PSX event this year, the folks at Kinda Funny decided to host their own game announcements show to complement The Game Awards.

Kinda Funny Games Showcase has brought over 69 game announcements for its 1-hour pre-recorded show. Most of them are cool indie games you might never heard of before. Some are coming out soon, some has been already been released just as the broadcast ended.

So here’s all 69 game announcements compiled into one place, for those who missed the show and would want to skim through it all.

1: Super Meat Boy Forever

The first sequel to the 2D platformer Super Meat Boy. Play as Meat Boy or Bandage Girl in 7200 handcrafted levels that are hard, but fair. A sharper art, a story with cutscenes and new mechanics like combat are added.

It will be out on April 2019 for the PS4, PC via Epic Games Store, Xbox One and Switch.

2: YIIK: A Postmodern RPG

A surreal RPG taking inspiration from JRPGs like Earthbound. The characters are all normal-looking dudes and gals presented in a low-poly artstyle, but thrown in very odd situations. It all started as main character Alex tries to find a girl that mysteriously disappeared in an elevator and it goes wilder from there. Combat is turn-based with some mini-games for attacks.

It will be out on January 17th, 2019 for the PS4, PC via Steam and Nintendo Switch.

3: At Sundown

A multiplayer top-down shooter where hiding in the shadows will make you invisible, making for some stealth-heavy gameplay. Up to four players, online and offline, can play together.

It is out now on PC via Discord Store but will be available on the PS4, PC via Steam, Xbox One and Nintendo Switch January 22nd.

Invincible vs. invisible? We've played @Aftercharge, we dig Aftercharge, and we think you will, too. #KFGShowcase pic.twitter.com/hsmhlvtnjK

— Kinda Funny (@KindaFunnyVids) December 8, 2018

4: Aftercharge

A 3v3 competitve shooter where a squad of invisible robots fight against a squad of invincible robots. The invisible robots have to destroy energy extractors, the invincible, with a full arsenal of weapons, have to stop them.

It will launch on PC via Steam and Xbox One January 10th. You can sign-up for the beta here.

5: ToeJam & Earl: Back In The Groove!

The sequel to the funky Sega Genesis game has a release date. Unlike the last entry on the original Xbox where it went full 3D, Back In The Groove! harkens back to the original game’s isometric look, now featuring HD artwork. It also supports split-screen co-op.

The game had some delays, but will now launch on March 1st for the PS4, PC via Steam, Xbox One and Nintendo Switch.

6: Quarantine Circular, Out Now On Switch

The latest game from Mike Bithell’s Bithell Games (Thomas Was Alone, Volume, Subsurface Circular). It is another highly-focused adventure game that can be finished in one sitting like Subsurface Circular, where conversations are the star of the show. And you better talk your way out in the right way or mankind will be doomed this time.

The game has been out on PC via Steam, but it is now out on Nintendo Switch.

7: Adams Ascending

A new supernatural adventure game by one man named Nick DePalo. Yes, that live-action trailer is him in a space suit of sorts.

The game is now seeking funding on Kickstarter.

8: Operencia: The Stolen Sun

From the makers of the many Pinball FX games comes a new first-person RPG set in a fantasy world. Described as an homage to old-school dungeon crawler, this really feels like The Bard’s Tale and the games of the era.

Featuring turn-based combat where you only see the enemies and a party of companions, explore this fantasy world which weaves in Central European folklore and legends. The developers are from Hungary, so this is cool to see.

It will be out on PC via Steam soon and other platforms, to be announced. You can sign up for a closed beta here.

9: Moving Out

Packing up items to move out can be boring. “Let’s make a game out of it and spice things up with silliness,” is what SMG Studios and Devm Games thought when making this game.

Your job as a Furniture Arrangement & Relocation Technician (F.A.R.T.) to move out items into designated packing trucks, by any means necessary. Chuck them out of window, pass it to your friend on the other side of the road, navigate through floods, outrun boulders, carry a giraffe, use conveyor belts, avoid saw traps on the floor. You know, the usual stuff when moving out.

It will be out on PC and consoles sometime next year.

10: Super Stickman Golf Blitz

Noodlecake Games announced something called Super Stickman Golf Blitz (not to be confused with Blitz Golf, which is real thing in golf). Nothing to go much right now other than this peculiar live-action trailer and this website.

11: Motorball

But that’s not all. Noodlecake also teased Motorball, a 2D Rocket League-like game where you play football/soccer with cars, but this time from the top-down perspective and possibly for mobile. It too has a website.

12: Conan Unconquered

Funcom revealed a new RTS game by Petroglyph Studios, the RTS veterans that did Grey Goo, Star Wars: Empire At War and also Command And Conquer. This is also the studio that are working on the new Command And Conquer remasters.

It will be out on PC via Steam, no release date was given.

13: Lapis x Labyrinth, Coming To The West

Stack your chibi party members high and watch the colourful gems go flying. This 2D dungeon crawling RPG will be out on PS4 and Switch in English sometime in 2019.

14: Danganronpa Trilogy Physical Release

NIS America is also bringing the Danganropa Trilogy into one neat physical release. Like all the physical releases announcements later, this may only be available in the west and not Asia.

15: The Messenger, Picnic Panic DLC

Kicking off the DLC announcement block is the platformer with an interesting gimmick, The Messenger. The Picnic Panic DLC is available for free and will be available in 2019.

16: Human: Fall Flat, Dark DLC

Ragdoll platformer where struggling with the controls is half the fun Human: Fall Flat is also getting free DLC. The new level, Dark, plays on classic horror tropes, but nothing is that scary when you have to bumble about not to fall off a cliff and avoiding your friends that may throw you off one.

It will be out on PC on December 10th, with the console versions (PS4, Xbox One, Switch) getting it sometime in 2019.

17: Shirtless Arachnid Person DLC For Guacamelee! 2

Now isn’t this a little self-indulgent. You can play as the Shirtless Arachnid Person (who is totally not Kinda Funny’s Greg Miller topless with a Spider-Man mask on) by entering a cheat code at the costume menu. It is:

down, down, up, up, right, left, right, left, up, left.

The Shirtless Arachnid Person also turns into Portillo the chicken.

The code should work now on PS4 and PC (Steam). The Metroidvania platformer will be out on Xbox One and Switch.

18: When Ski Lifts Go Wrong

Imagine the many bridge-building games like Poly Bridge or Bridge Constructor: Portal. But now use that template to make ski lifts, gondolas, ramps and jumps. Most likely, it will go wrong.

The game is in Steam Early Access and this new trailer reveals new content coming out as it will be leaving Early Access in early 2019.

19: Rival Megagun Physical Release

Rival Megagun, a shoot-em-up with two-player PVP is out now. A physical release was announced coming in 2019.

.@Celeste_game and @Windjammers are getting physical releases in 2019 thank to @LimitedRunGames! Get excited, @XavierWoodsPhD! #KFGShowcase pic.twitter.com/epLQA4WvYx

— Kinda Funny (@KindaFunnyVids) December 8, 2018

20 and 21: Windjammers Physical Release, Celeste Physical Release By Limited Run

Cult hit competitive frisbee throwing game Windjammers and Game Of The Year contender, 2D platformer with a lot of heart are getting physical releases via Limited Run.

22: Mineko’s Night Market

This begins the rapid showcase of upcoming games published by Humble Bundle.

Mineko’s Night Market is a game about “crafting crafts, eating eats, and catting cats”. Described as a celebration of Japanese culture, you spend your day exploring the village and its outskirts for items, or craft new ones, for it to be sold later in the night market. Various mini-games, fun activities and a mystery to discover in this game. Also, cats.

It is coming to PC via Steam and also the Nintendo Switch.

23: The Occupation

Immersive sim fans, rejoice! In The Occupation, you play as a journalist set to investigate an event where many lives were lost. It is 24th October 1987. Time is of the essence, as everything and everyone moves in real-time and entirely systems-driven.

The game has been long in development, the trailer we feature here is from last year. It will be out on PS4, PC via Steam and Xbox One on February 5th 2019.

24: Disco Elysium

Think about an old-school isometric RPG. Now remove combat and use that system to make a detective game. That’s what Disco Elysium is set to do and boy does it look interesting.

It will be out in the first half of 2019 for PC via Steam.

25: Slay The Spire

The single-player deck building game combines trading cards with rougelikes. It is out now on PC via Steam and it is coming to Switch next year.

26: Fae Tactics

A very beautiful looking strategy tactics RPG. Though it has been long in development, it is set for release sometime in 2019 on PC via Steam.

27: Ikenfell

The last of the games showcase by publishers Humble Bundle.

This is a 8-bit style RPG where positioning matters during the turn-based combat. It involves the adventures of the students in the school of Ikenfell, where magic is taught.

28: Long Gone Days Release Date

A military RPG with “a focus on language and cultural barriers”. The trailer reveals a gritty world where war may be spreading further, peppered with moments of levity where you hang out with the party members. Keeping morale high and ensuring you communicate well is key in this game.

It is out now on Steam Early Access. It will leave Early Access in April 2019.

Looking for a feel good FPS? Look at @AWAY_TheGame and it's new release date! #KFGShowcase pic.twitter.com/cws2IyHBsG

— Kinda Funny (@KindaFunnyVids) December 8, 2018

29: Away: Journey To The Unexpected Release Date

It’s not the first time developers from France and Japan team up (look at Furi), but it’s still cool to see nonetheless. Away: Journey To The Unexpected is a first-person game where you face against 2D enemy sprites. Some of them can be recruited, should you befriend them. Having new party members will allow you to control them and use their abilities.

It will be out on PC sometime in February 2019, and also coming to the PS4 (February 5th), Switch (February 7th) and Xbox One (February 8th).

30: Vane Release Date

You play as a bird that can transform into a child as you uncover this interesting foreign world. Vane is described as “an enigmatic and unnerving game that aims to leave an impact.”

It will be out on PS4 January 15th, 2019 in North America and Europe.

Bury me, my Love, the BAFTA-nominated narrative game about the Syrian conflict, is coming to Nintendo Switch as a console exclusive & PC Jan 10. @ThePixelHunt brings an emotional, bittersweet love story told from the perspective of ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances. pic.twitter.com/3hulUibWbH

— Playdius (@PlaydiusGames) December 8, 2018

31: Bury Me, My Love Release Date For PC And Switch

Another simple narrative game, but a powerful one. It’s a story of a Syrian couple, Nour and Majid, as Nour tries to find her way off to Europe. A love story with the background of the current, bleak situation in Syria.

Originally a mobile game, it will now make its way for release on PC via Steam and Nintendo Switch, out on January 10th, 2019.

32: The Wild Eight Release Date

This low-poly game blends in survival elements and Diablo into a game about surviving the frozen wilderness of Alaska. Up to eight players can play together.

This game has been Steam Early Access for a while, and will be a full product in March 2019.

33: Slime-San Creator Out Now

Platformer series Slime-San new entry adds level creation tools to make your own crazy, hard, or crazy hard levels. It is now available on Steam.

34: Sumo Out Now

A game by able Table 9 Studio, it’s a game of Sumo, sort of. It’s a physics-based multiplayer game where the goal is to not go out of the ring. You also play as spherical characters with special abilities.

It is out now on Steam Early Access.

Buckle up, Buttercup! We're excited to announce our partnership with @SkyboundGames on notmycar, a high-speed, high intensity #battleroyale on wheels. Are you ready for the fast track?https://t.co/9BN3IzdMVz pic.twitter.com/WmEzxW6YSz

— notmycar (@notmycargame) December 4, 2018

35: Notmycar Beta Starts Now

Twisted Metal battle royale. H1Z1 sort of did that but in Notmycar, you only control the car in this battle royale game. The vehicular combat game is now published by Skybound Games.

Also, the beta is now live. You can sign up here (scroll down a bit).

36: Anthem’s New Story Trailer Breakdown

Anthem had a new trailer debuted at The Game Awards recently. Now there is a breakdown of the trailer by Lead Producer Mike Gamble.

Although the showcase only show a small bite of the piece, you can view it in full in the embedded video above.

37: Color

This is the first of three games in the puzzle block of the showcase.

Developed by Dual Studios, this is puzzler that is all about colour theory. Understanding how you can derive colours by adding or subtracting other colours is key to solve this minimalist puzzle.

It will be out for PC via Steam in 2019.

Just in time for @CalgaryExpo, the #ReadingRush teaser trailer is here!

Stop by booth 223 in the BMO Centre to play it all weekend long! You can win prizes too #gamedev #indiedev #trailer #calgaryexpo #calgaryexpo2018 #madewithunity pic.twitter.com/5AJEXUnX5G

— The Frozen Machine (@FrozenMachine) April 26, 2018

38: Reading Rush

Select a row of alphabets in ascending order, how hard can that be? Reading Rush will test your ABCs as you are prompted to select random letters in the order of the alphabet while time is ticking.

Developed by The Frozen Machine, it will be out on Android and iOS devices this month.

39: Collapsus

This interesting puzzler by Wraith Games has you to click and destroy one block, with the goal of forming a line of at least four same-coloured tiles to be adjacent of each other. You have limited clicks, and doing combos will replenish it back. Also, you can rotate the board all around too.

It is coming out on PS4, PC via Steam, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch, PS Vita and mobile in 2019. You can try an early build of the game over on itch.io here.

did some gameplay simplification experiments for #triwave (3 colors, only rings and no stacks) and it's really starting to sing.

I will also start to sing if you go wishlist it on steam.#gamedev #screenshotsaturday #madewithunity pic.twitter.com/rTBnDM4SRl

— john plewe (@johnplewe) December 2, 2018

40: Triwave

The last game on the puzzle block of the show.

Triwave is a puzzler with some sick beats. A colour appears in the center, you can push it down, left or right. Forming a ring of the same colours or a stack of three same colours on each side to clear them.

It looks as trippy as Tetris Effect. You can sign-up to beta test the game here.

  41: Dawnthorn

This begins the action-adventure slot of the showcase.

Dawnthorn is a throwback adventure game to the days of Startropics 1 and 2, the original Legend of Zelda, and Link’s Awakening. This is a prequel to another game, Hazelnut Bastille, which is on Kickstarter right now.

Dawnthorn is available for free for backers of Hazelnut Bastille over 5USD. It will be made available in 2019.

We are excited to share some brand new gameplay footage from #AnewTheDistantLight which just went live on the @KindaFunnyVids #KFGShowcase! We're showing off new locations, enemies, and crazy vehicles. Thanks for the RTs and follows! https://t.co/I1Vdpy7P6W #gamedev #indiedev pic.twitter.com/fet5AvU5lx

— Anew: The Distant Light (@AnewTheGame) December 8, 2018

42: Anew: The Distant Light

A single-player, open-world, side-scrolling action and adventure game by two-person dev team Resonator Games. With many abilities, weapons, and vehicles to use.

It will be out on PC and consoles in Summer 2019.

43: Double Cross

A 2D platformer with a cute and colourful artstyle. Play as Zahra, an agent that protects the many dimensions. It definitely gives a Mega Man vibe to it. Zahra has a Proton Slinger to sling herself around levels and players can customise and upgrade her abilities to your liking.

It will be out on PC and Nintendo Switch January 2019.

44: Devil Engine

A rad looking shoot-em-up. Shoot your way through the crazy bullet hell to face against the Devil Engine. It is coming out on PS4, PC and Nintendo Switch in 2019.

A demo is out on Steam.

45: Reverie: Sweet As Edition

This top-down action-adventure game developed by Rainbite, set on a fictional island in New Zealand. The game is influenced by legend of Maui and the Giant Fish.

The game is out on PS4 and PS Vita. The Sweet As Edition is for Nintendo Switch will add Nightmare Difficulty, a quick select item wheel, an in-game trophy system, a new minigame, as well as updated sprites and dialogue.

Reverie : Sweet As Edition is set to launch early next year, but in limited quantity.

46: Virgo VS The Zodiac

Does those horoscope readings ever tell you that Virgos are evil? At least in this game, it is. You play as Virgo as she wrecks havoc on the whole Zodiac Realm so she could bring back the Golden Age. Which may be a bad thing, considering her actions to get there.

The game is inspired by Super Mario RPG so it has a more involved combat, with mini-games. As evil as she is, you can befriend folks, with choices you make affecting the ending.

The game is being made by Moonana and was funded through Fig It will be out soon on PC via Steam.

47: Boyfriend Dungeon

Dungeon crawling can get lonely, so why not play a dungeon crawler where you get to date your loot, the weapons?

Boyfriend Dungeon is an isometric action game, but during the downtime you can woo your weapons in a visual novel-style gameplay. And they are hot. No matter how you swing, they should be a weapon for you to take on a slow walk at a beach, or to the club.

Boyfriend Dungeon will be out next year in 2019 for PC via Steam.

48: Knifeboy

This is the part of the showcase where it gets weird.

Knifeboy is a 2D Metroidvania where you play as a duded.. with a knife on its head? And he summon a spirit that also has a knife on the head to headbutt his opponent? At least he can roll around like Sonic while in the air, which makes the knife on the head useful.

It will be out On PC via Steam in 2019, and is 95% done. If you like to ask the one man responsible of this wonderful creation, he can be found here.

  Did you miss the KFGS? Check out our video from their montage here! #screenshotsaturday #KFGShowcase #indiegame pic.twitter.com/tpX3T4Q7fz

— Clockwork Giant (@clockworkgiant) December 8, 2018

49: Vulpine

You play as animals with weapons in their mouth. That’s pretty weird. It’s also an open world action adventure game by Clockwork Giant Games.

The game will be out on PC via Steam in 2019.

50: Mini-Mech Mayhem

Not so sure what is weird with this one. Maybe funny. This PS VR game has you play a strategy game where you watch your mini-mechs on the tabletop battle it out.

It will be out in early 2019.

51: Rym 9000

The last weird game from the showcase.

Rym 9000 is a balls-to-the-walls shoot-em-up that require a epilepsy warning. Which it does for the trailer we put on here.

The game is out on PC via Steam already, but a PS4 release is said to be “within 3 months”, handled by the same developers as Everie. It will also have a limited physical release.

52: Log Jammers

This begins a list of couch-multiplayer games.

Log Jammers is like Windjammers. But replace the frisbee with a throwing axe and the court with a river where players float on logs.

The game is set for release in January 2019 the latest for the PS4, PC via Steam, Xbox One and Switch.

53: Turbolance

Up to four players can play this motorcycle jousting game. A demo is available.

It will be released on PC via Steam and Nintendo Switch next year.

54: Thunder Rally

Remember the Micro Machine? Or its spiritual successor Mashed? Now take that top-down racing game with weapons and have them all in an arena for a demolition derby, but with weapons.

Oh and you can get out of your car and steal others.

It will be out on PC and consoles sometime next year.

55: Wreckout

This is the end of the multiplayer block of the showcase.

It’s multiplayer cars playing other games, but instead of football/soccer like in Rocket League, this time it’s.. Atari’s Breakout?

It will be out on PS4, PC via Steam, Xbox One and Nintendo Switch next year.

56: Ape Out

Hotline Miami by way of a stylised gorilla. Published by Devolver Digital (just like Hotline Miami), this is brutal twin-stick shooter that’s all about fast reflexes and adaptability.

Also, the gorilla you control can take enemies as a human shield and have them fire their guns. Also, you can chuck people out of windows.

Ape Out will be unleashed on February 7th on PC via Steam and Nintendo Switch.

57: Fight Knight

Fight Knight is about a knight that fights with his fists.

Part first-person dungeon-crawler, part high-speed action fisticuffs, Fight Knight channels the aesthetics of murky sprites reminiscent of the PS1 era and make it look cool.

Explore the tower, solve puzzle, and fight some enemies. Also a ton of head-bobbing.

Fight Knight will be out in 2019 for the PS4, PC via Steam and Nintendo Switch. Hopefully.

58: Tunche

This gorgeous hand-drawn 2D beat-em-up supports up to four players as you smash your way in the Amazonian jungle. And you also have magical shaman powers.

The game is aiming for a PS4, PC via Steam, Xbox One and Switch release. A Kickstarter campaign will start on January 14th.

59: It Lurks Below

Do you know that David Brevik, the creator of Diablo, is now making games all by himself? It Lurks Below sure looks similar to Terraria but it has all the RPG mechanics you wanted. And of course, plenty of loot.

The game is out now on Steam Early Access.

60: Hardcore (Working Title)

Hardcore is not just a shooter homaging the 90’s, it is a shooter from the 90’s. Back in 1994, Psygnosis cancelled a game developed by DICE (yes, now know for Battlefield) which was almost finished. Now it is going to be released on PS4 and PS Vita.

Experience the “Euro-shooter” game of the 90’s, today! Or more accurately, 2019.

61: Supermarket Shriek

Ride a shopping cart with a goat across the supermarket. That itself is one strong game pitch.

When it’s already that silly, expect the supermarket layouts to get even sillier as well.

It will be out in 2019.

62: The Church In The Darkness

In this game, you are in South America to check up on your nephew, who is part of the The Collective Justice Mission. Followers of this cult has relocated to South America and founded Freedom Town.

What you do from here is entirely systematic. You can sneak in, knock out guards or kill your way through, with how you approach the situation changing the story being told.

It is coming to PS4, PC via Steam and Xbox One in 2019.

63: A Fold Apart

Long distance relationships can be hard, but this neat little game will make you believe it’s worth it. It features a nifty mechanic where you fold the level layouts like a piece of paper. Even when you are miles apart, you will just be a fold away…

It is developed by Lightning Rod Games and will be out on PS4, PC via Steam, Xbox One and Nintendo Switch next year.

  64: Falcon Age

This PS VR game has you taking care of a pet falcon. Watch it grow, train it and give fist bumps as you travel together on on your fight to preserve your culture and take down the automated colonisers.

Also, you get to fist bump the bird.

It will be available in 2019 and can also be played on PS4, sans VR.

65: Jenny LeClue – Detectivu Coming To Switch

You play as Jenny LeClue as you investigate the sleepy town of Arthurton to clear her mother’s name who has been accused a murderer. Find the real killer in this part 2D platformer, part adventure game, filled with sassy decisions to make.

The game is also coming out on PS4 and PC via Steam.

66: Desert Child

What if Star Wars’ pod racing is part of our lives? What if you are living with minimum wage, living off scraps you can win from winning pod racers?

Desert Child is focused on making something like that, with a tinge of Cowboy Bebop. Go deep into the world of this hoverbike racing shooter while managing whatever money you have for maintenance. For your bike and yourself. Your goal? Get to the Red Planet to race in the biggest race of all, the Grand Prix.

Desert Child is coming out on the PS4, PC via Steam, GoG, Game Jolt, and Green Man Gaming and Nintendo Switch on December 11th, 2018. It will be on Xbox One one day later.

  67: Stormdivers

This is Housemarque’s first game after announcing that they are now abandoning the arcade shooter games they are known for. Now they are making a battle royale game. Here’s a new trailer showing gameplay

It looks flashy with plenty of particle effects thanks to their pedigree of arcade shooters. But it still looked a bit stiff in some places.

68: Judgment (previously Project Judge)

The previously teased announcement involving Sega has been revealed to be a new trailer for Ryu Ga Gotoku’s new game. Previously known as Project Judge and as Judge Eyes in Japan, the game is now called Judgment for English audiences.

The new trailer also revealed that the game will have English voice-acting, like Fist Of The North Star: Lost Paradise.

Judgment will be out in English/for the West in 2019 for the PS4.

69: The Walking Dead Final Season: Episode 3

The one more thing and show-ender announcement. After the tumultuous collapse of Telltale Games, The Walking Dead Final Season was in limbo.

Skybound Entertainment picked up the rights to the series with the intention to retain most of the development staff to finish off the final season properly.

Now it is confirmed that Episode 3 is right on track for release. It will be released on January 15th.

Here’s All 69 (!) Game Announcements From The Kinda Funny Games Showcase published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

[therealmnemo]

11 Questions

Ok, so I think I got everyone who tagged me in this. I’m sorry I’m going to add more questions because I’m drawing a blank, but I’ll answer the questions I was tagged in under the cut >.> 

From @sixlilypetals

1.     What is your favorite fan fic by another author and why? Oh no.. why. I have so many favorites!!! Ok. I’m going to pick one out specifically because it affected me so much that every time I hear the song that the title comes from, I will literally tear up in public. It’s You’ll Remember Me (When The West Wind Moves) by @foxnonny. It’s a FenHawke where Danarius was able to recapture Fenris, but starts with Garrett and co. rescuing him after his memories had been erased. After some time back at Kirkwall, Garrett is able to show Fenris his memory of their captivity (both he and Fenris had been captured, but Garrett had been freed once they reached shore), and Fenris realizes he needs time away to realize who he is again, because he is not this Fenris. And what KILLS me, is that Fenris’ last words to Garrett before giving himself back is “Be Well, Garrett Hawke.” And it’s said again later and everytime I think about it I want to cry. And then the last chapter when he starts writing to Garrett and picking up random memories.. I just.. GAH. It’s so beautiful. And this is why I cry like a baby at Fields of Gold. 

2.     What is your favorite fan fic you’ve done and why? Ugh. Well, I’m in that slump where I’ve been unable to write in a while so nothing looks good.. but I think I’m going to say You Could Be Happy. It’s the collection of my fic for Fenris Week last year, and contains two of my more well-received pieces. Surprises, which laid the foundation of the FenHanders I really wanted to delve into, and then Flight, a Pern AU one-shot that I put a lot of thought into and would like to pull out into a long fic one day. This question might change if I ever get my WIPs finished. 

3.     How did you discover Dragon Age? Steam Sale? I’m pretty sure Origins was really cheap during a Steam sale and a few of my friends had it on their game lists and I was like.. uh.. this seems like my kind of thing. Then I spent a couple hundred hours on it... 

4.     If you were going to do a get rich quick scam in Thedas, what modern thing would you peddle? condoms. idek 

5.     What is your dream hobby? i’d love to get going on voice work, and also beekeeping. 

6.     If you could create one law that could never be changed, what would it be? Oh god, something dealing with minimum wage and having to stay in line with cost of living and productivity levels and/or requiring the government to provide homes to the homeless. 

7.     When you’ve had a rough day, what makes you happy? IRL, cuddling with friends and watching a movie, if that is not possible (like 90% of the time) getting online to read fic and talk with friends <3

8.     What other universe do you think would be fun to cross over with Dragon Age? oh god.. too many? but the one I’m most interested in is doing a Pern crossover because.. uh.. dragons!!! (and of COURSE Hawke and Bull would be dragonriders)

9.     If you could own a pet dragon, would you and why? who in their right mind would answer no to that? YES.. because DRAGONS. 

10.  In what ways do you see yourself as a leader? As a follower? Uh.. hmm. I guess when it comes to things that I’m knowledgeable about or interested in, I’ll tend to take the lead in a group setting.. especially in cases where I can foster communication. Things that are task oriented that are easy to follow up on. I tend to fall back as a follower if it’s something that isn’t in my wheelhouse, or something I have no business being at the forefront of. 

11.  If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing about the future, what would it be? fuck more people. i know how that might sound in general, but like, i wish young me would have had a different view on this. if i did, some things would have been very different. 

From @jawsandbones

Click this link and tell us what your super power is. Are you a hero or a villain? Your powers are super hearing, seeing through illusions, and manipulating shadows. um, a flipping hero. mostly for that last one.. because I would totally put on the most badass shadow puppet theatre.

What hobby would you get into if time and money weren’t an issue? BEEKEEPING. :D (I would say location too, but I’m sure that wouldn’t be an issue because money wouldn’t be)

What fictional place would you most like to go? Toss up between Thedas and Pern. 

Are you usually early or late? Uh, late. Usually depends on if I’ve taken my meds that day. It’s the focus part that usually screws me up on timing. 

What do you wish you knew more about? I’m going to cop out of this question because I’m literally a sponge for useless information. I will rabbit trail on wikipedia for hours. Things I will never need to know, or wanted to know to begin with, but now I have that tidbit stored away. I just want to know all that I can. Did you know that Mike Nesmith of the Monkeess’ mother was the inventor of Liquid Paper? 

How do you relax after a hard day? Check # 7 above!

Something you’ve been meaning to try but haven’t gotten around to yet?hmm, i don’t really have anything for this one. i have games i’ve not played yet and shows i haven’t watched yet. 

What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? a month long vaca to see my BFF in Scotland. 

What are you most likely to become famous for? not really anything, but along with my dream hobbies, well known VA or rockstar beekeeper would be amazing right?

What are you absolutely determined to do? Right now? Just be a fully functioning adult. 

What question do you want the answer to? Why haven’t we bred dragons yet? I mean, come on. 

From @littlexabyss

1.  What’s your favourite kind of dragon? I’m talkin’ any fandom here - Potterverse to HTTYD to…. well.  Dragon Age, I guess.  PERN DRAGONS \o/

2.  Across any/all of the games, what’s one decision you regret making plotwise?  Did you not recruit someone?  Break up with an LI?  Make a decision which broke your approval rating with someone?  C’mon, spill.  The first time I played DA2 I skipped Fenris’ cutscene and didn’t use him the whole game... I even thought he was a rogue... >.>

3.  Who’s the best-looking monster or creature in Thedas? (Mine’s the Envy demon at Therinfal Redoubt, wowee, that’s a stunner.)  Witherfang. 11/10

4.  What’s the most awkward ret-con of the Dragon Age series, in your opinion? Leliana if she was killed. Don’t get me wrong, I actually really love the reason that you get post DAI, because it just adds another level to lyrium and the Titans.. but like... awks. 

5.  List your current three favourite pieces of fan art and/or fics? WHY. ok, i did a fenhawke above, so i’m going to do three more ships eyyyy.  Walk Softly and Carry a Big Axe, Windfall, Inquisitor Hawke series

6.  Of the Dragon Age characters, who do you think would survive best should they be plonked into the Mass Effect universe? I’m going to flake on this because I really haven’t played ME yet. 

7.  Do you think Isabela’s ever had scurvy? Nah

8.  You know that bit in Inquisition, where Haven’s fallen and shit is getting a bit real and everyone starts singing that song half way up the mountain as your Inquisitor is freezing their buns off?  On a scale of 1: I totally joined in at home, it wasn’t awkward at all to 10: I had to leave the room and hide with my hands over my ears it was so awwwwkward, how’d you feel about it? Yeah, that was a 20. 

9.  Do you think you’ll be back for DA4?  Of course, DA owns my ass. 

10.  If you were a Circle mage, which (if any) fraternity would you belong to?  (As a brief recap: Aequitarians - “Shut up and play nice”; Isolationists - “Society is overrated”; Libertarians - “FUCK ALL THIS”; Loyalists - “Yes, Knight Commander, No, Knight Commander, how high, Knight Commander?”; Lucrosians: “MONEYMONEYMONEY”). Libertarian :D

11.  Think of your favourite character from the series (or just who springs to mind first): what is the song that they would rapturously describe as “their jam”? Shit. You know it’s Anders and Fenris and I have several playlists.. but as a single song? For Fenris, "Disarm” by the Smashing Pumpkins and for Anders, gawd, uhm, it changes constantly but give me some “Unsteady” by X Ambassadors for some young Anders feels. 

#tag memes #about me #mnemospeaks

[sleepymarmot]

MEA liveblog #8

I finished it! I’m free!

Multiplayer

Hell yeah level 9/10 rank I asari adept -- full extraction and top score on a silver APEX mission with bonus to combos! Against outlaws, but still. And I got an outlaw badge for it!

Yoo, two human female vanguard cards! And my Charger is now at X!

Looked up my statistics:

Dialogue:

Interrupts: 11

Casual: 151

Emotional: 187

Logical: 206

Professional: 187

Kills:

Kett: 983

Outlaws: 857

Remnant: 520

Wildlife: 377

Holy shit, the Pathfinder killed almost as many former Initiative members as the Initiative's enemies...

Melee: 276

Assault rifle: 60

Pistol: 135

Shotgun: 100

Sniper rifle: 59

Biotic: 679

Combat? Force?: 0

Tech: 316

Jump: 5

Construct: 35 (wow)

Combos: 777

Hello patch 1.05

Why did they remove the priming icon from Throw? Does it not prime anymore?! 

Good news: Throw still primes. Idk why they removed the button. Like misinforming their players?

Bad news: the game is super laggy. Did I set my graphics too high?

The fusion mod perk is still broken!

No, I don't have a new email, SAM! I got one from Peebee, very cute but referring to I don't know what.

Multiplayer

Kroguard level 7/rank I successfully extracted from Silver!

Maxed out Avenger and Katana, goodbyeeeee

Singleplayer

Fuck, I opened all my reward boxes and then realized the game loaded the autosave with the still-bugged fusion mod support :( Goodbye all my rewards ughh

I lowered the graphics to default but the game still keeps stuttering... I don't understand

Peebee on Voeld: "I should have dressed warmer" Sigh, once again game writers blame their sexist costume designs on female characters who have to wear them...

Finally I got to hear PB&J's conversations about asari reproduction myself...

SAM asked me about my romance and I picked the sappy option because it was the safest...

Journey to Meridian

I don't like how the patch changed my Ryder's face. The lips are too narrow and round now.

Damn, I should have taken Jaal. I knew the spoiler though. Want to know what from? A freaking side romance video I clicked because I was sure something so inconsequential wouldn't have spoilers. Ha!

Peebee says something like "They created life but the Archon wants to destroy it!!" in the most melodramatic tone. Ugh! The tendency to say overly sweet things like this is the worst part of her character.

Ha, screw you ascendant! I'm a bit offended that my rifle doesn't one-shot his orb. Ah well, I'm not wearing any weapon damage bonuses...

Oh, a Destroyer and a Fiend are fighting each other? Good, I'm not going to get involved.

The Destroyer won and came for us but had the decency to open up its chest as it turned to face us lol

I'm overusing Bio-converter + Life Support like hell on this mission lol... Too many bosses

lol nullifiers im not scared of you

Why is my mouth so small! It's bothering me.

Tempest

Lexi doesn't want to talk to me lol. Can't interact with her

Jaal's door is closed, I knew he'd have a lot to say

Well this conversation was saccharine. Jaal are you a positivity machine?!

Don't you "love" how you can go through the entire game not knowing that Gil is gay?! There's even a dialogue option about him "loving" Jill! This entire dialogue tree is a mess. At least everyone on tumblr has ranted about that so I don't have a lot to add. But even if you (try to) set the homophobia aside it's a mess. He talks about fathering a friend's child and you can't even be surprised because usually only romantic couples start families? And you can't even disapprove really, the most negative thing is "it's crazy" said in an awed, surprised tone of voice.

Cora I took you to Meridian and you have nothing to say?

More forum threads! And a shitload of emails!

Aw, Liam is such a good vivid character -- both the conversation and the email are great. I love his email attachments. I mean I'm still angry at him about the stupid, irresponsible, dangerous shit he did in his personal storyline, but he's definitely the most engaging of the male starter companions in ME.

Here's the Movie Night continuation, I was starting to worry it was broken...

The ship's doctor asks me to buy some booze on the Citad--the Nexus, why does it sound so familiar

Let's appreciate the fact that the "golden worlds" are not just inhabited -- they were created for someone other than us! The Initiative has even fewer rights to them than initially thought.

I'm glad Bioware sped up the galaxy map (not surprising after that kind of outrage) but the stupid and vertigo-inducing camera turns and pans are still there.

Btw I preferred my own more abstract interpretation of the Scourge as the Chaos to the Remnant's Order. Now they look even more mundane. As if the mystery and awe didn't already evaporate after about the second vault because they're all the same thing with slightly different puzzles!

Nexus

What?! I don't get to actually play with Drack, Kesh and Vorn?! What's the point then?

Keri where are you? I can hear your voice but it's coming from nowhere.

Oh my god I can see Kandros's purple tongue through the hole between his jaws(?)

Tempest

Well at least I could get Gil a date!

Am I like... supposed to give a shit about Jaal? I mean Ryder is getting all emotional no matter what I choose and I'm sitting here like "idc". And I don't want to bash such a nice person, it feels mean to dislike someone for doing nothing wrong, but that's the problem, he's so bland. From the promotional videos I assumed that Peebee would be the irritating designated best friend/love interest like Liara, but it's mostly Jaal.

Tempest again -- after a week-long break

Why couldn't Bioware add a "take all rewards" button? Why do I have to spend 10 minutes clicking “space”?

Ah yes, Bioware's trademark mashing naked dolls together! When Peebee's eyes flashed black it was pretty creepy.

Movie Night requires one more step... After the main mission, then.

Great, another galaxy map fetch quest -_-

Yoo finally the point of no return!

The final mission

Fine, I'll take you Jaal for plot relevance, though I'll probably miss Cora's Shield Boost...

Playing as my twin is cool, but why is he underpowered? Trying to kill a single mook with no powers and that tiny pistol was torture...

Where's Peebee? On the bridge?

Why open the equipment screen but not let me change the squad? It made sense to take the Science Team PB&J to the Meridian, but not to take back an ark! It makes no sense! I'm on my ship with everyone, but can't choose a new team?

Ah, so it was a romantic goodbye with the LI, and I didn't have to choose the "schmaltzy" version to make it more personal? Damn.

Ughh, so much lag... It's not fun to fight when fps falls below 10 sometimes.

The final fight is so badly designed. Apparently I have to hold ground at the quest marker position, but it's not explained clearly, and the circle doesn't appear until you're almost done. I jumped into the abyss several times because the quest marker was hanging over it.

Ah yes, Meridian, home for the humanity. Despite the fact it was clearly built for the Angara... Ugh!!

I don't get it. We're selecting a representative of whom? The entire cluster? The Nexus? It's bullshit.

Oh, this wheel is confusing. So each candidate is assigned to a "tone", when I first click it it's a question, if I click for the second time it confirms the selection. 

Hmm, my first choice was the Moshae, but maybe Morda?

Went with the Moshae. Thankfully, Ryder said exactly what I wanted to say! Haha, Addison: "That's the point, you colonial wad"

This human woman got a name from Quarian godparents?? That's a thing? Okay.

I don't understand how Ryder could use the Remnant without SAM. Has SAM changed her brain enough that it's now superhuman even without SAM's active involvement?

Oooh, interesting email. I haven't thought of angaran reincarnation as a designed feature to carry extra information in DNA. So they can be genetic hard drives -- again, like the kett? This has got to mean something. And angara "remembering" how to use the Meridian, or being sleeper agents? I demand a big storyline in the sequel about this!

Um. Using the Remnant involves not just a connection, but moving your consciousness into them? Okaaaay. That doesn't sound ominous at all. This entire terminal is like a sequel teaser...

Yeah Jaal, I can't stop joking because everyone is being so sugary sweet and I can't bear it anymore

The Moshae doesn't sound too excited about her new job... :(

The Quarian-Volus-Elcor-Hanar arc! Yoo! Sequel or DLC?

"Seeing you in cahoots makes me all misty" I don't know which is worse, the line itself or the delivery...

Aw, the science team are all in the same lab! ...With the dancers. What?

Tempest

Peebee sent an email saying she wants to explore the galaxy "with or without me". Aw.

Okay, I'm tired, let's leave The World is Waiting and Movie Night for tomorrow.

Watched alternate dialogue choices on Youtube.

I chose the casual option to rally the fleet, but logical is good too. But I think that after watching her brother being kidnapped and tortured, Ryder doesn't have the patience to be inspirational...

The emotional option as you walk out victorious is addressed to your LI! And Peebee's reply made me laugh and clap: "And now they all know you're mine!" And they walk away hand in hand. Aw.

Can’t find logical and professional options for the goodbye with Peebee before the final mission :( Not a fan of emotional and casual.

Oh. I thought Habitat-7 would have something more than one cutscene...

My edition of the Movie Night glitch: Ryder was simply invisible. Peebee was embracing thin air. So much for romance.

The funniest thing, tbh, was that Ryder leveled up when the scene ended.

Aaaaand now I'm free! 92%, 97,5 hours. I still have some sidequests to do, but let's leave them until later.  

#mass effect #mea spoilers #blah blah blah