#adhd off the shits today

[the-furies]

music is so good *kills everyone*

#pk;m Soul❤️ #i had our adhd meds And caffeine today. #bouncing off the walls rn listening to shit we loved as a teen

[wickedhawtwexler]

i am genuinely having the worst day i've had in a very long time!!!

#on top of all the shit i have already complained about today: i was supposed to have an appointment with my doctor today #to refill my adhd meds and she never showed up and i have TWO (2) pills left before i have to resort to the meds that barely worked #i found someone on zoc doc who has an appointment for tomorrow afternoon but last time i tried to book thru zoc doc there were issues #so idk!!! i'm probably not going to get an appointment until next week. so that's fucking great!!! #i literally scheduled time off next week with the intention of focusing on my writing but fuck me i guess!!! #at least i have time off so i don't have to be a worthless piece of shit at work!!!! #i'm trying so hard not to have a full on sobbing breakdown at work lmao #m.txt

[wokeuplaughing]

if I don't finish this fic in the four fucking days I have off work y'all have full rights to crucify me like jesus christ I'm talking stigmata and all

#I wrote like. 3000 words today of editing and new additions and I'm vibing with it but I have F O U R fucking days off work with minimal #plans outside of 'maybe have lunch with step mom' and 'hang out with best friend' #we are going to COMPLETE it #it's getting easier to write though so I do fully expect it to be done sometime this week unless something terrible happens #I mean like terrible terrible #catastrophic type shit #or a day when adhd is worse than usual #same difference

[pussymasterdooku]

.

#today on: Allie Liveblogs Her Parents’ Divorce: #two and a half fucking hour long phone call with my dad about how he thinks my mom is the problem #in the INSANE dynamic they have going on with his 24 year old lesbian employee who is LIVING WITH THEMMMMMMM #and him doing his signature I Am Just A Reasonable Man Perceiving The Situation Objectively shtick #us both mouthing I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!! at the phone #ohhhhhh he wanted us to say she should just get over her frustration and then there wouldn’t be a problem #and she shouldn’t be frustrated in the first place because the problems Aren’t Even Legitimate Problems Because They Could Be Worse #and like. my mom has been bringing up divorce to us since 2019 and he has expressed that he wants to improve the marriage recently #and they uh. got married due to a miscommunication and are entirely incompatible LOL like i’ve been Trying but this call made me feel like… #Its So Over My Dudes #but apparently he thinks their marriage is NOT on thin ice it’s a 9/10 #revised to ‘idk MAYBE it’s an 8/10’ when he told us he doesn’t think. in 34 years. they have ever had a two sided conversation… #they Have Never Once Had A Conversation by his recounting. thats not true but it IS an insane thing to say STEVE #ohhhhhh he makes me mad ohhhhh i’ve been in my Dad Anger era for a couple months and he brought it to the SURFACE tonight babey!!!!!!!!! #ohhhhhhhh he does not respect his wife he does not try to understand her he does not think of her as a real person #and i mean. she’s nuts and takes her feelings out on everyone around her!!! she is only just now seeking to manage her adhd #but she tries so hard for him and he’s just. full of shit and i’m sick of him. ok cutting myself off but this has been: #ALHPD #which will be the tag now ig if anyone wants to mute LOL #ohhhhhhhhhh this has dealt me so much psychic damage i have so much evil energy now lmao #ohhhhhh 🔪🔪🔪👨🏻🪚🪚🪚 #🔨🔨🔨🔨 #🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈 #ok that’s all

[fishofthewoods]

OH HEY I JUST THOUGHT OF A METAPHOR. ITS A GOOD ONE TOO.

so imagine that an NT person's brain is a car. If they want to do something, they just... drive where they want to go. They *can* get distracted and miss an exit or make a wrong turn or whatever, but most of the time they're gonna stay on track.

an ADHD brain is like a horse. you can still go where you want to go sometimes, but you really need to work to get it done--you can't just turn a steering wheel, you have to work with your horse. And sometimes if there's something your horse really doesn't want to do, you'll have to fight it super hard to do it, and then it's tired and you're tired and neither of you can do anything else for the whole day, and in those situations sometimes you don't know whether it's the horse's fault or whether you're sending mixed signals and it's getting confused! And the worst part is that NT people don't always *see* that you're riding a horse, they're just like "oh that's a weird-looking car" and assume you can drive the same as they can, but no, you've got a fuckin horse!!!!!

#adhd #lich says shit #fell off my horse today but it was my fault #i was leaning over real far bc i was doing a race where you put a stick in a bucket and i slipped #im fine though! my horse actually did great hes a real good horse. hes super smart even though he can kind of be a dickhead sometimes

[0last-ditch-effort0]

Adhd is stupid. Having to drink coffee to put me to sleep

#I've had to come off caffeine because it's making my pots worse #But I've had three and a bit hours of sleep #And have been up since about 4am which is fucking ridiculous #I have to work later today too #So I pretty desperately need sleep #Not to mention I was *supposed* to get shit done #But I suppose my hormones had other plans #But yea it's silly that a wee bit of caffeine will be just enough to slow me down to sleep #Adhd #Actually adhd #Audhd

[leftist-bitch]

why is it not widely known that your period can cause ADHD to fuck shit up in truly the most explosive way. apparently estrogen is closely linked to dopamine centers in the brain, so not only can ADHD be the trigger for extreme PMS mood swings, but the lack of estrogen can cause an increase in ADHD symptoms.

#and im not saying thats happening to me rn #but i did get incandescently angry yesterday to the point that i broke things #and all i want to do today is lay in my bed and cry heaving sobs #but instead im going to drink a shit ton of coffe till i get off work and can drink 1/2-2/3 a bottle of wine #actually adhd #adhd problems #adhd

[lesbiansanemi]

I have started to accept I am a bit more (re a lot more) psychologically unstable than I thought for a long time and man…. I’m tired of it

#I was in a relatively good mood today #work hasn’t been too bad and I get two days off starting tomorrow #(it’s rare for me to get consecutive days so I’m excited!) #plus my time off request for a weekend in may got approved and I’m super excited for the plans that are happening on that weekend #and then my roommate messaged me bitching about my cat and now I’m spiraling #hate everything hate myself anxiety levels skyrocketed feeling the intense need to upend/annihilate my entire life and start from scratch #questioning anyone who has ever said they care about me etc etc etc and it’s like wow! because of one vague text message! #this is not a normal response haha! and now that I’m aware of that #I’ve become a lot more intensely aware that these insane mood drops actually happen quite frequently for me #issue is to do anything about this I need to see a psychologist (which I’m trying to work on anyways) #but the only diagnosis I have is for adhd and idk how to go into psychiatric care like #PLEASE PUT ME ON MEDS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PUT ME ON DRUGS AND I DONT MEAN LIKE 10 MILIGRAMS OF PROZAC TYPE SHIT #GIVE ME MOOD STABILIZERS OR AN ANTIPSYCHOTIC OR SOMETHING I AM BEGGINGGGGG I CANT FUNCTION LIKE THIS ANYMORE #I’m also mildly concerned (being afab) that if I go in pursing certain diagnoses I’ll get slapped with a bpd diagnosis #(and obviously I don’t mean that in the sense of bpd bad or I could NEVER have bpd or anything like that) #(I just mean I really don’t think I have bpd and I don’t want to be approached from the angle of needing treatment for that cuz I don’t #think it will help. if I have ANY cluster b disorder it’s def aspd lol. lmao.) #but. yeahhhhhhhhh. I’m tired of this and I’m tired of having no treatment and being in medicated #I’m tired of pretending I can function like this forever cuz obviously I can’t lol #and eventually (probably soon) it’s gonna burn me out and I’m gonna crash so hard and uh. bad things are gonna happen 😭 #kaz rambles

[silverislander]

i can't be trusted to take breaks bc i'm now on day 4-5 of "doing no school work at all" since it's the winter semester break and i said i'd take monday off for myself. i have the second section of my essay technically due tomorrow and i'm absolutely not going to be done on time. fuck me man

#the problem is im not doing awesome rn. im gonna be ok but yk its february it happens #so i said 'ill take a day off see if that helps. no work for one day and then back at it tomorrow' #but i didnt get back at it. bc my stupid fucking adhd ass brain hears 'do no work' and will then refuse to turn back on #i NEEDED a break genuinely. but i cant turn my attention/focus on and off like everyone else so now its fucking. broken #i have shit i need to get done!! #and make it worse bc i wasnt doing great to begin with now that im not doing anything i feel guilty for that which makes me feel worse #and makes it harder to do anything at all #the only options for me are working until i drop which is bad for me or taking a break and getting completely off track #levi.txt #vent tw #its not even that i dont WANT to work bc i like what im doing. i just cant make myself fucking do it #doesnt help that bc im on break my routine is all fucked up. i always start to work idly during class between taking notes #it helps me focus and not get bored and then i can work up to full focus hard work after class in the library #and since im not going to class this week... i dont start work #whoever came up w the idea that school breaks were for finishing/catching up on work: youre fucking evil #what do you think a BREAK means #companies arent allowed to make me work on my lunch so why are you giving us a 'break' and forcing us to work through that #anyway. im going to try to finish a paragraph of my essay today and email my supervisor to tell him itll be in late #fucking sucks but yk. im really not making this deadline. id have to get like 10pgs done today plus major revisions

[fernsplaysthings]

...

#big internal screaming mood #accidentally missed a hospital appointment after having to reschedule several times because *work* #so now having casual waves of anxiety #on top of all the shitty family shit #i'm too fucking worked up to just email the hospital and...apologise because aaaaa they're gunna tell me off #how silly is that? #but also i'm so fucking highly strug atm i feel so fucking awful wow #sent off the questionnaires for an adhd assessment today though :D a year late ahahahaha i fucking hate how i can be...

[hyah-lian]

O hello time that the mental clarity wears off and the chaos and screaming distractions creep back in

#if my meds bring waves of clarity until all at once my mind is quiet and i can focus and address things and pinpoint #when they wear off it is in waves like overhearing someone laugh particularly loud in a diner and wondering what jokes theyre sharing #then the next wave is the dinner rush so theres more indistinct chatter and ambiet noise and the cash register bell #then all at once suddenly its like wild is running through an i hop with a lit torch in one hand and abomb in the other wearing a frogsuit #with wind cackling and chasing him doing that kid/teen shriek laugh only they can accomplish while intermitte tly blowing a kazoo #adults are yelling at them to sit the f down and behave #somewhere the jukebox is glitching and playing 4 songs at once #and i have stimmy static buildup in my arms and legs and neED TO CLIMB SOMETHING PLS #and oh shit what did i come in the room for? oooh snacks #oh. im incredibly hungry. did i forget to eat and drink because appetite supression side effects? #ooops #(pokemon sleep gebuinely helps me w that tho. i remembered lunch 2day bc snorlax needed lunch) #anyway #rambly ass tags #actually adhd #from my experience this is comparable #it fades out after a bit. but like the meds wear off surge was particularly hard today #hyah-txt

[toastsnaffler]

maaan i was having breakfast w my flatmate this morning and she'd already done all her jobhunting stuff for the day extra early so she can play videogames and im rly glad shes able to motivate herself like that but also seeing the steam popup notifying me shes playing smth makes me feel like the kid who didnt finish the work and has to stay in the classroom during break watching their friends play outside

#it takes me like. the entire day just to do a measly 2 applications #theyre not even that difficult i have all the component parts prewritten so i can just copy paste relevant things or whatever #like i probably only cumulatively spend an hour a day doing this shit. but my executive function is so fucking terrible #so it takes forever and ever just to get myself started on it and then i cant stay focused at ALL bc i fucking hate doing it #and it feels so pointless bc w jobs its abt the quantity of apps u send out. i have friends who churn out 30-40 a week minimum #and then they still only get like 2 interviews how the fuck am i ever gonna get a single 1 at this pace im already trying my hardest #its so embarrassing i feel like a complete fucking loser i hate having adhd i hate bending myself backwards for the most basic shit #and im disabled so theres some stuff i cant do/struggle with and everyones like yeah theyll discriminate against u bc of it that sucks #like ik i dont need to be told that!!!!!!!!! or theyll be rly patronising and tell me not to mention that shit im not fucking stupid #but also its kind of difficult to avoid it coming up when i cant even answer fucking phone calls bc im too fucking deaf #and then im so exhausted by the end of the day i have no energy left to do anything creative or fun i just have to sit down and cry #or sometimes i play videogames or smth but my attention span by then has dropped off completely so i cant even enjoy it #genuinely soulsucking shit. having a job would probably suck too but i dont think itd be half as bad as this. uni wasnt even this bad #psyching myself up every morning only to want to kms every evening. what a world we live in #whatever. whatever i need to pull my shit together and get smth done today. uhgdhfkjhdhfghkf. sorry for complaining on main #.diaries #.vent