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siderealscribblings · 7 years

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Never Home (or How Lila Rossi Tased Chat Noir)

A (somewhat) late addition for Week 2 of TOTLS Month. Balcony scenes may not be canon (yet) but here’s a Lilanoir remix of a Marichat staple!

From the moment Lila step foot into her apartment, she knew that she wasn’t alone.

This was largely because she had come home to an empty apartment every day for the last several months, and having grown so used to the empty feeling associated with it, she knew something was just a little off. There was an indescribable presence lingering in the air as she made her way into the kitchen, setting a bag of groceries down and reaching for the small, electric taser she kept in her purse at all times. Her parents would have never let her live alone without protection, and though she had never had the opportunity to use it, she had seen enough horror movies at one in the morning to know how to turn it on whenever the floorboards creaked awkwardly.

Powering the taser on, she made a great show of pretending to be oblivious to the intruder’s presence, stretching lazily as she turned on an Italian news station and made her way from room to room, making a quiet sweep of the small apartment as she went. Humming a tune under her breath, she made sure the bathroom and her wardrobe room were clear before heading into her bedroom, stepping out onto the balcony and breathing in the cool evening air.

After a moment, she turned around, heading back inside with a small sigh, about to slip out of her school clothes when a pair of glowing green eyes caught her attention.

The intruder froze, hand clutched around a can of water that was trickling into the potted plant next to Lila’s desk. It was too dark to see anything but the intruder’s eyes, and Lila wasn’t exactly in the mood to give strange men in her home the benefit of the doubt. As the bandit opened his mouth to say something, Lila’s survival instinct kicked in, prompting her to lunge at the assailant, taser crackling as she launched herself at the intruder like jungle cat. The man dropped the watering can with a clanging splash as Lila threw him to the ground, taser pressed against his neck as she realized she had just threw one of Paris’ resident superheroes to the floor of her apartment.

And not even the one she didn’t like.

“What…the hell are you doing here?!” Lila spluttered.

“Your…fichus…was…dying,” Chat panted.

“Did Ladybug ask you to come here?”

Chat didn’t quite know what was harder to believe; the fact that Lila Rossi had tased him, or the fact that she was now preparing something that he could only describe as heavenly.

“Huh?” Chat asked, shaking his head as Lila fixed him with a deadpan glance. “Oh…n-no, Ladybug doesn’t know I’m here.”

“Mmhmm,” Lila said, turning back to the veal steak unconvinced. “You’re not here to get me back in her good graces?”

“I think that ship has sailed, hasn’t it?” Chat chuckled.

“Sailed, sunk, and sitting at the bottom of the ocean,” Lila muttered, tipping the cutlets onto a pair of plates with a pair of small green salads. Chat blinked at her as she plopped the plate down in front of him, glancing between the cutlet and an amused looking Lila as she looked at him. “Something wrong?”

“No I just…” Chat scratched the back of his head. “Do you usually feed people who break into your house?”

“Color me curious,” Lila said as she regarded her unconventional dinner guest. “I’m interested to know why Chat Noir seems to be so interested in the wellbeing of my house plants, and this seems to be the best way to get you to stay in one place long enough for me to squeeze the story out of you.”

“Aren’t your parents going to be upset that their daughter is entertaining random strangers in the middle of the night?” Chat asked, poking the cutlet curiously before taking a bite, eyes practically dilating as she swore she heard him purr with delight.

“I don’t live with my parents,” Lila said simply, cutting a chunk off her veal and placing it in her mouth with a thoughtful crunch before squeezing a little lemon over the top.

“…oh,” Chat said simply. “I just thought…w-well, I heard you moved to France so I assumed-”

“Mama’s work keeps her fairly busy,” Lila said with a small shrug. “She has to be in the Milan office most days, so it’s easier for her to just stay in Italy.”

“And you’re okay living here by yourself?” Lila’s fork paused between her plate and her mouth for the faintest moment.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Lila said, leaning across the table with a small smile. “Do you check in on all the former akuma victims like this, or am I just that special?”

“Oh, n-no it’s not that you’re special or…I-I mean you’re special, clearly, but I didn’t…” Chat stammered, fiddling with his food as Lila’s smile became toothy. “I just…your apartment balcony is the perfect landing spot for me to kick off of to land on the building next door and I…may or may not land on it when I’m running home.”

“Wait, that bumping in the middle of the night is you?” Lila asked. “I thought I just had a raccoon trying to get in my window…”

“So I…kinda noticed your plant didn’t look happy,” Chat said, scratching his cheek. “And I may have bought a watering can to…thank you for letting me use your balcony as a springboard.”

“Seriously?” Lila snorted, leaning back in her chair. “You really went out of your way, every day, to water a plant that isn’t yours just to thank me for something I didn’t do?”

Chat shot her a lopsided, somewhat bashful smirk. “I’m a superhero; what can I say?”

“A real knight in shining armor, aren’t you?” Lila chuckled. “Savior of damsel-plants in distress from girls who kill everything they touch.”

“As someone who’s helped slay an actual dragon, I have to say you’re something of a disappointment,” Chat Noir laughed, taking another bite of his meat. “Though your Lightning Bolt attack packed quite a whallop.”

“Mama wouldn’t let me live in a house by myself without protection,” Lila said, narrowing her eyes at Chat. “And I seem to remember knocking someone flat on their tail not an hour ago. I’d say that’s fairly amazing, wouldn’t you?”

“You certainly don’t need a costume to be amazing,” Chat said, causing Lila to frown and glance up at the boy who appeared lost in a world of cotoletta. There was something strangely familiar about him, but Lila couldn’t quite place it, and the fact that she almost realized something about him was maddening.

“…aren’t your parents expecting you for dinner?” Lila asked, raising an eyebrow.

“…Dad’s working late tonight,” Chat said simply, burying a small flash of disappointment with another bite of his meal.

“Too busy for dinner?” Lila asked.

“He’s…got a lot on his plate,” Chat shrugged as Lila chewed thoughtfully.

“Yeah…I understand what you mean,” Lila said softly, wiping her mouth with a napkin. “So…do you plan on continuing to use my balcony as your personal springboard?”

“Unless I want to circumvent this part of town completely,” Chat said. “Which I’d rather not have to do.”

“Because you enjoy spying me changing through my window?”

“What?! No, I-” Chat trailed off as he caught sight of Lila’s smile. “…you’re messing me, aren’t you?”

“You catch on quick, gattino,” Lila said, mopping up the last of her veal juice with the spinach and strawberry salad. “Though I’m wondering if I shouldn’t be charging rent for the use of my balcony.”

“I’m sure whatever price you want, I could pay,” Chat chuckled.

“I’m not hard up for money,” Lila said, chewing on her lower lip. “I would appreciate your usual gardening services…provided your home life doesn’t demand your attention.”

“No real worry of that,” Chat said with a bitter laugh, extending his gloved hand across the table. “Do we have a deal then? You’ll keep renting me your balcony?”

“So long as you swing by every few days,” Lila said, thumb raking over the back of his gloved knuckles. “I’m not exactly a gardener, you know.”

“Clearly; I thought your plant was fake when I first saw it.”

“I still have charge in my taser, you know.”

“Now’s probably a good time to tell you I can’t really feel pain in this thing,” Chat said with a small flex.

“So that means you weren’t even stunned when I threw you to the ground?” Lila said, piling her plate on top of Chat’s as he carried them into the kitchen. “Good to know.”

“Hey, your hip toss is impressive, girl,” Chat chuckled.

“Do you compliment all your girlfriends on their hips, or is it just me?” Lila said, leaning on the counter.

“I don’t have any girlfriends,” Chat said, packing the plates in the dishwasher.

“Certainly not for lack of trying,” Lila said, cocking her head to one side with a smirk. “I’m sure if you looked elsewhere for love, you’d find no shortage of willing young ladies.”

“Do you say that to all the guys you bring home?” Chat said, leaning across the counter with an identically toothy smile.

“Just the ones who break in and water my plants,” Lila said, eyes tracing the curve of his mask for a moment. Seizing an impulse, she reached up, fingers sliding along his mask as she tried to find some seam she could use to pull it off. Surprisingly, Chat didn’t move, stiffening under her touch but still smiling as she pulled away.

“Disappointed?”

“A touch,” Lila said. “Who wouldn’t want to be party to one of the biggest secrets in Paris?”

“As lovely as the meal was, it wasn’t quite secret-identity reveal good,” Chat said, meandering towards the glass door leading out to the balcony.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to get my Julia Child on,” Lila said, following him out into the balmy French evening. “Or break out the cat nip.”

“That’s a misconception,” Chat said, leaning on the edge of the balcony. “Now, if you managed to get me a cookie-”

“I’ll leave some out for you then,” Lila said, leaning on the balcony as the sun set in the distance. She glanced across at him, watching the way the wind rustled his hair as he took a deep breath, turning to her with a toothy smile.

“Thanks for dinner…and not calling the police,” Chat said sheepishly.

“Thank you for the unsolicited landscaping,” Lila said, brushing some hair out of her face as the wind began to pick up. “Though I wonder how your partner is going to feel about your new side job.”

“Ladybug can feel however she wants,” Chat said with wink and a small salute. “But there’s nothing wrong helping out a friend, is there?”

For the first time all night, Lila was at a loss for words, and before she could recover, Chat was off, kicking hard off her balcony and up onto building next to hers. He landed in a low crouch, shooting her a wave over his shoulder before running off into the deepening night. She watched him go for a long moment, his black figure trailing over the rooftops for a few moments before arcing right, continuing to run in a completely different direction, almost as though the stop at her place had been considerably out of his way.

“Oh, so I’m just a stop on your way home, am I?” Lila said, smile playing at her lips as she turned and walked back into her apartment. “Alright, gattino, if that’s how you want to play it...”

#lilanoir #adrilila #liladrien #ml fanfic #think outside the love square #my writing

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dfcfanfics · 5 years

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Horrible theory/prompt of the day

Been batting some ideas around as to what might be coming in the S3 finales, and some dark notions floated together.

What we know:

1) Astruc loves his “mosaic” episode structure concept. The beginning and the end episodes are the only ones set in place; all the other episodes in the middle contribute something to the overall picture, and the beginning and end frame the overall storyline.

2) So what happened at the very beginning of S3, Chameleon? Lila returns, and she’s declared war on Marinette over Adrien. Marinette knows that she’s bad news, but Adrien counsels her to keep that between themselves, to give her some benefit of the doubt for now. Ladybug apologizes to Lila at one point, and Lila returns the sentiment but then evil-grins once she’s out of sight, indicating that she’s far from done with Ladybug.

The episode seemed a bit out of place at the time, not really connected to S2′s closers. As if it was meant to tie into something else.

3) Lila is _very_ enthusiastic about being Akumatized in S3E1, all but grabbing the Akuma out of the air. She greatly enjoys being empowered.

4) Adrien has told Lila that he’ll have her back... unless she hurts someone he loves, referring to Nathalie and the Gorilla at that point.

5) Spoilers from the synopses for Loveater / Miracle Queen included:

Overpowered by this powerful villain, Ladybug seeks the help of Master Fu. But still upset about her love sacrifice, she makes a mistake that will prove disastrous...

And:

Hawkmoth akumatizes Chloé into Miracle Queen to make her take control of all the Miraculous holders.

This could be Marinette messing something up with Chloé, certainly, that helps set up her latest Akumatization, perhaps bitterness over her not getting the Bee. It’s a likely scenario. But not the only possible one...

6) According to the wiki...

During the Japan Expo 2018 panel on July 9, 2018, Sébastien Thibaudeau revealed that the 78th episode (MQ) had moved the team to tears. He hoped this would have the same effect on the spectators.

7) Adrien may not have his head on straight concerning his feelings for Marinette yet... but he is quite protective of her, regardless.

So...

What happens in the episode Ladybug in a couple of hours might blow everything I’m about to throw together out the window. I fully expect that it will, frankly. Which would turn the following into a nifty prompt for someone to write rather than a prediction. ;)

But what if...

A) Whether in Ladybug or in subsequent episodes, Adrien learns that Lila manipulated the events that happen to Marinette in Ladybug. And our idiot son snaps. He unloads on Lila with both barrels, promises to expose her as the piece of trash she is, and firmly slams the door shut permanently on AdriLila possibilities. (Not that the door was ever open, naturally, but Lila thought so.) This puts Adrien firmly on Lila’s shit list.

B) In Loveater, Lila sees an Akuma... and dives on it, insisting that she needs to help him and Mayura battle Ladybug. Hawkmoth says, “No, that Akuma is meant for someone specific. Also, my son has informed me that you’re a sack of owl dung. Go away” and retracts the Akuma. Now she’s been rejected by both Agrestes and is in an even more vengeful mood.

C) Miracle Queen starts taking over known Miraculous holders, causing Ladybug to start running out of allies rapidly. She’s desperate. This leads to the hybrid DragonBug that spoilered artwork had shown, since that’s something that MQ would never have seen before. She has another Miraculous in hand, looking for a worthy (and new) holder...

D) ...and Lila Rossi approaches Ladybug humbly, begging for a chance to redeem herself and help save Paris. Ladybug has massive doubts, given all that Lila’s put her through... but she doesn’t have a lot of other choices around, and she remembers Adrien telling her to give Lila some benefit of the doubt way back when. That maybe there’s some good deep down in her after all.

So she makes her huge mistake... and gives Lila a Miraculous so that she can help in this crisis. Maybe the Bee, since Chloe not having it may be a major impetus into the final episodes. Maybe a different one. Let’s assume the Bee for now.

E) And Lila plays along for a little while, perhaps. And once Ladybug and Chat start trusting her even a little bit... she drops them where they stand.

No Akumas to dispel this time! Now she has a permanent power source, and a strong one at that. Now she can take revenge on everyone who’s “wronged” her.

Starting with one Gabriel Agreste and his son. Chat Noir lies helpless on the ground, Venomed, as he watches Lila head for his house...

This time, it’s a mirror of the opener: Adrien knows just how poisonous Lila is, but Marinette gives her some leeway and wrongly chooses to trust her. And Adrien’s father -- or mother -- pays the price.

Why, hello, Season 4 big bad...

#season 3 spoilers #ml spoilers #ml speculation #ridiculous theorycrafting

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