#again another me problem that i’m working on but we’re venting here

[metamorphosisff]

|Three| Not What You Think

Xavier didn’t give up.

While he did not bother to text me back last week, he also did not bother to accept defeat. I could tell he was going to approach me again when I was signing in earlier but the headphones covering my ears deterred him. However, now that we were in this park working, I couldn’t have those headphones on, making it the perfect time for him to strike up another pointless conversation.

“Here comes Mr. Clipboard, he looks like he has a purpose too,” Jazz muses from my right. We were on our hands and knees tending to a garden while the men picked up trash. No one else wanted to get in the dirt and I wasn’t in the mood to traverse this whole park.

“Oh joy,” I said, causing her to snicker.

“You could smile, you know,” she said, bumping her hip with mine.

“You could stop encouraging this,” I said, bumping her back.

That was the last of our conversation before a shadow briefly stands over us. Xavier doesn’t stand long, dropping to his knees so that we are all eye level and no one has to look up at him.

“Ladies,” he greets. “How are things coming along?”

“Beat it,” I mutter, not bothering to look up.

“Some words of advice young man? Don’t mince words with this one here. I’d get to your point quickly if I were you,” Jazz says, before scooting down a few feet to give us some semblance of privacy though I note she remains in hearing distance. Nosey bat.

Xavier chuckles softly causing me to meet the biggest doe eyes I had ever seen on a man. His russet orbs take some of the chill off of my next words. “You don’t have anything better to do?” I ask, dropping my mini shovel into the dirt.

“At this very moment? Probably. Alex thinks I don’t see him inching closer and closer to the exit where the 2 is at but I’m not really in the mood for a battle,” he said with a small shrug.

“Can’t you like, get in trouble for that?” I asked.

“Me? No. I am supposed to keep an eye on tools and you while you are here. Anything you do while not being here is an issue to take up with the judge. We all have choices and a part of being an adult is taking accountability for the choices we make. I’m choosing peace while he’s choosing to go back to Rikers,” Xavier says with a shrug.

“Makes sense,” I said, nodding my head. I imagine his job already was a lot to deal with. He couldn’t hunt everyone down. Couldn’t make them do right. All he could do was show up. Same as us. “Even so, why are you in my face?”

He nodded as another chuckle slipped past his lips, “To ask if you would reconsider my proposal of friendship. I host a group for people our age to just shoot the shit or vent. Dealers choice. I’d like for you to come hang if you can. We’re meeting tomorrow at the Lutheran church around the corner from my office at seven.”

“I don’t need to be talking to a bunch of strangers. No thanks,” I said.

“Then come listen. I think you’d like it if you would give it a chance,” he said. I could see the sincerity in his gaze clear as day. The problem was that I did not trust it.

“What do you want from me? I’m not going to get with you, so you don’t have to pretend and act like you want to be my friend,” I sighed, exasperated at this whole ordeal.

His face scrunched up at the accusation. “I don’t want anything more than what I proposed Jamila but I see that you aren’t interested so I’ll back off,” he said with a small smile, holding up both hands in surrender. 

“Please because I don’t think you want a friend, you want a project, and you can get one of them for your little group,” I added, pointing out where the rest of our orange rag-tag team was over by the basketball court and not doing their assignment. 

Nodding his head, he rose to his feet. “I asked everyone already and pretty much got the same response,” he said, his words deflating any of the annoyance I thought I felt.

“Maybe you need a better pitch,” I said.

“Maybe. Guess, I’ll leave you to it. I have to call in about Alex anyway,” he said, retreating without another word.

I watched as he walked away from the garden and back onto one of the paved walkways. His shoulders with a droop I placed in them from our conversation. Jazz is back at my side before I have time to process why I care about his dejection.

“You are going to that group heffa,” Jazz said.

Turning my head towards her I fixed my lips to speak but she held up a soil stained glove.

“You are a hard somebody, too young to be as hard as you is, and that one there,” Jazz said, swinging her finger to where Xavier stood, “Can soften you. It’s okay to be soft some of the time. It’s quite nice actually. So yes, miss girl, you are going to that meeting and so am I. If you even think about standing me up, you won’t have to worry about catching the train back to East New York because I’ll kick ya’ narrow little ass there. Got it?”

“Yes ma’am,” I said, knowing she’s serious. I had seen her fight for less and win, and we had only been in each other’s lives for a month and a half.

“Good. Now, let’s finish getting these weeds up because my knees are starting to hurt and that is saying something seeing how I’ve spent most of my life on them,” she cracks, playfully nudging me again with her hip.

I don’t have many friends but I’d be lying if I said I was not warming up to the idea of adding Jazz to that very short list. We clicked without having to speak and when we did talk, it was often in moments like this. She reminded me of my mom before things got bad. Maybe that’s why when she talked, I listened.

While we finished up, I thought over her words and the look on Xavier’s face when I implied he had nefarious motives. He actually looked bothered and he had been dealing with my shit for weeks. When we head over to the van to put away the tools, I linger. He eyes me patiently, waiting for me to say whatever that it is that’s on my mind, shoulders squaring as he braces for the worst. I don’t blame him.

“Uh, Jazz and I, we’ll come. One time deal though,” I said, causing him to smile. He was like a puppy with those eyes, so expressive, all of the time. It was nice not having to guess what was on a man’s mind for once. Xavier’s eyes left no secrets untold.

“One time is cool, that’s great,” he beams, every tooth showing with this smile. It’s childish yet the sight of it gives me relief. There has been no true harm done. “ What made you reconsider though?” 

“Technically a threat,” I deadpanned, which caused him to laugh fully.

“Okay, I see I owe Jazz my gratitude,” he replies.

“Yes, you do!” Jazz voices from around the corner. Of course she hasn’t entered the van yet. She has to hear how every part of this after school special plays out.

“Thank you Jazz,” he says before training his eyes back on me. “And thanks for reconsidering even under duress. You remind me of one of my cousins so if I seem to be coming on strong that’s why. I miss her and see the same spirit she had in you.”

“You're speaking in the past tense. What happened to her?” I asked, stepping aside as more of the crew came to deposit tools to the back. He follows my lead, moving a few feet away so no one else can hear him speak.

“Boyfriend killed her and their three month old in my senior year of college. I didn’t like him from the jump but you couldn’t tell Sabrina shit. I loved and hated that about her,” he says, clearing his throat after. His gaze doesn’t shy away from mine and I can see a pain so fresh, it cools my skin on this eighty seven degree day. In a blink it’s gone, he knows I saw it but doesn’t seem to care. A smile returns, making his usual facial expression. “I can tell nobody can tell you shit either.”

“Nope. I’ve raised myself, I don't really need anyone else’s opinions on how I live my life,” I said, leveling my gaze in warning. 

“Aye I’m not in the business of raising adults as I’ve already demonstrated so you don’t have to worry about that,” he said.

“So what do I have to worry about?” I asked, unable to help myself.

“In regards to me? Nothing. I’m an open book that you can read whenever you are ready. You can check out a few pages tomorrow and then decide if a friendship with me is the worst thing that can happen to you,” he said, walking up to close the back doors to the van now that everything had been put away.

“That was so corny,” I said with a shake of my head.

“It got you to smile so it’s a win,” he said, causing me to immediately frown.

“I don’t smile,” I replied, rolling my eyes.

“No you didn’t, as in the past tense but you definitely just did,” he said.

“I’m going to get in the van now before this conversation makes me seriously consider getting beat up,” I replied, turning on my heels causing him to snort.

Jazz is waiting by the door with a grin on her face but before she says anything I said, “One word and you can beat me to Timbuktu for all I care but I won’t go any damn where if you gloat.”

Jazz pantomimes zipping her lips but does a little shuffle in celebration as we slide into the two seats in the front that haven’t been taken. Xavier boards last and takes his customary seat beside the driver not before shooting me a quick glance, smiling when my eyes meet his. I hear Jazz’s lips part before I remind her of my previous declaration. “One word. I mean it. One, singular word.”

I can’t shove my headphones into my ears fast enough to drown out the sound of her boisterous laughter.

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#metamorphasisff #black fiction #black romance #slow burn romance #zendaya x mjb

[sophieswundergarten]

@nobodysdaydreams Here you go

Chapter 28

BODS THE TITLE IS SCARING ME

This part really feels like TPD, with all the planning and secrecy

Ajdsdjfk Constance just staring at him really intently to freak him out

Poor Nathaniel

“It was rather unsettling, though being physically assaulted by one of the children was a much less frightening concept to Nathaniel than the possibility of having his mind read.”

Yeah, unfortunately that tracks

Reynie being all polite is very cute, though. And then there’s Kate, who is on the defensive every time

“Like he’s just some guy named Nathaniel now?”

Kate and the importance of names again! I need to write another analysis about that

And of course her lovely nickname suggestion

Yeah, Reynie!! The “L” stands for “Le”! It’s weird, right?

I’m very pleased that Constance is the one to reveal Curtain’s full name

Sticky’s aunt!! I love her so much, you don’t even understand. I was so hugely upset by how the Show changed things, but you’ve turned that all around and now she’s one of my favourite background characters in your story.

“He sleeps, he eats, he takes up space,” said Constance. “And he cleans. A lot. Obsessively. It’s concerning and confirms what we already knew. The man has serious mental problems.”

I don’t know how you positively nail each character voice every time!! It’s so impressive, and I love when certain lines stick out in my head because I feel I can hear them being said <3

Kate’s house!! Such a good plot point, so full of memories and emotion

Marcus! Marcus is so sweet. I’m really glad that you talked more about him, Sticky deserves to have good friends

Miss Perumal and Rhonda! A very good team. (And possibly the most forgiving out of the grownups, besides Mr. Benedict of course)

Ooohhhhhh. SQ photo album…

I AM NEVER GOING TO STOP BEING UPSET THAT HE WON’T TALK ABOUT HOW CLOSE HE WAS WITH THE WETHERALLS

BODS YOUR FLOORBOARDS ARE MINE

NATHANIEL. I get that you two are different in some ways, but. YOU’RE IDENTICAL TWINS??? SAYING SQ LOOKS MORE LIKE NICHOLAS ISN’T THAT BIG OF A DIFFERENCE??

Of course, it’s not his exact physical appearance that Nathaniel’s talking about, it’s more the fact that he feels too guilty and undeserving to be associated with his son. Because nothing is ever simple with this man

I love when Miss Perumal gets to talk about parenting with Nathaniel, it’s so interesting. I don’t know, because I don’t have kids, but to me it seems like you’re doing a really good job writing about it, Bods

Poor Number Two. She’s right, even though no one knows it yet. There is something suspicious going on :( 

Garrison mention!! Garrison would probably like to stay as far away from this mess as possible, but of course they aren’t going to let her do that

And naturally the thing that Nicholas fixes on is correcting his brother that Constance is his “roommate”. Not the ridiculousness of anything else in the statement

I like how you use the verb “comforted” often, it gives a really good note on the tone of the situation and how the dialogue is being said

Oh no. I’ve read the sad, sad tale of Puddles the duckling, like, three times now. We’re skipping it

Kate! Kate popping out of vents is the best thing, and I love how you set it up here. I can just see it in my brain

Nooooooooo

Bods I am gnawing on all of your pens until they are beyond repair. This part guts me every time

I love when we get a giant brick of Nathaniel dialogue because he’s explaining something. It’s very good

AND THIS IS THE PART WHERE IT ALL GOES SOUTH

I genuinely gasped and put a hand over my mouth when I first read this

I’ve been thinking about Nerissa and her outbursts a lot, and I have so many questions about how her powers work…

I think SQ’s mind would be a forest

I know Nerissa has not the best of intentions, but ever since she got introduced all I want is to give her a hug. I think she needs it

Now we get to see Nerissa’s plans from her point of view! I always love how you explain stuff via multiple different characters, it makes it really interesting and it somehow doesn’t ever come across as boring or talked about too much

Although it makes me wonder how many fake identities she has…

“The boy is eighteen Natty, I’m sure he doesn’t need or want you constantly helicopter parenting him like this”

As if she is not also doing the exact same (And arguably worse)

“his whole…team of genius minds and trained fighters”

Ah, yes. Nicholas, his adopted family and friends, and some children. Obviously an impossible number of enemies /s

Erika! She is somehow STILL not getting paid enough for this. Let her go do something else, like be a National Park ranger. I’m sure she’d love it

And the slip back into having the narrative refer to him as Curtain!! I get all excited every time you do that, no matter how many times it’s been now

“He had expected to see anger in his SQ’s eyes at having secrets kept from him”

I’m burning your house down

Curtain’s just running on frantic autopilot and it’s only making things worse. I know this is, like, the third POV for this scene and maybe the fifth time I’ve read it, but still. I am taking some scissors to your window drapes

“And to think, when I was a kid, I looked at you like you were my hero, I thought you were brilliant, I used to dream about being like you! And now, I’ve been putting up with everything you do, all the times you ignored me, filled your schedule with work, got stressed over some mundane detail, and acted like a complete control freak, all because I thought you were doing it because you actually cared about someone other than yourself.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Bods. Bods you need to chill on occasion. Seriously, I don’t know how much more of this my heart can take, and I already know what’s going to happen!! 

I Am Foaming At The Mouth

AND ONCE AGAIN CURTAIN’S SELF-DEPRECATING, GUILTY, OVERLY RIDICULOUS MENTALITY GETS IN THE WAY. AGAIN.

If he could take a step back and, I don’t know, go to therapy????? Then maybe he’d be able to have this conversation with his son. BUT NOOOOOOOOOO. IT’S EVIL PLANS THIS AND MIND ERASURE THAT. SO HEALTHY THERE, LEDROPTHA. NICE JOB /s

“You’d think that after all those losses he’d be used it to by now”

I Am Screeching At A Tone To Shatter All Your Glass

AND GARRISON. GARRISON DOESN’T KNOW. HOW COULD SHE? BUT SHE STILL UNDERSTANDS THE ENORMITY OF SWEEPING SQ. AND SHE’S STILL HORRIFIED.

“Please Dad. Don’t do this. I love you. I’ll do whatever you ask, and I’ll…I’ll stay. I won’t leave. I’ll stay here with you, forever. I’ll be good. I promise.”

This is always one of the worst parts for me…

“She supposed death wouldn’t be so bad. Garrison knew she deserved it, and she wasn’t entirely sure how she would even be able to keep living with herself after all she’d done. / But she still feared the pain.”

Someone PLEASE help this woman

Curtain hugging her… But it doesn’t do either of them any good…

AND CURTAIN CAN’T BRAINSWEEP HIMSELF BECAUSE HE FEELS LIKE HE HAS TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE THINGS HE’S DONE. HE HAS BLOCKED OFF EVERY OPTION FOR HIMSELF

Oh dear, I just keep rereading the last bits instead of commenting. Please know they are just as amazing as everything else, but I don’t have any words for any of it…

Poor Nathaniel has been locked into a truly impossible task, and Nerissa certainly isn’t helping. Although, I must say that her dialogue can be pretty funny

“I really think you’re making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. Nicky has never struck me as a particularly difficult person to kidnap. One bad pun is enough to knock him out. Just tell a clever joke, wait for him to pass out, and shove him into a sack.”

“Nathaniel had tried to think of other solutions. Really, he did. But although he knew that Nicholas would willingly give himself up at the word that his nephew, or that anyone really, was in danger”

Man, you really are so good at balancing humour with drama

#s.o.s. #Sorry if it's a bit short! #I promise I'm working on the rest of them #ESPECIALLY THE NEW CHAPTER WHOOOOO #So excited to read that one

[chaosworthy]

Kind of back, but not really. Deep explanation under the cut, but activity is still going to be pretty slow here. Again.

Like I said in that small post, life ain't great at least from a monetary standpoint. Which, yes, we expected after moving and being out of work and stuff but top that off with some of the worse depression I've had in my life and, I don't know, everything's just felt...hopeless?

There's shit me and my husband want to do, and we just can't because of money. It's always money and I'm so sick of it. Being around his family never helps either because the concept of us being broke just never seems to be something they can fathom. I guess well off people just have different brains?? The one exception to this is my BiL, who we're staying with for the time being and who's honestly always been our biggest supporter on the husband’s side who actually has common sense so, in that respect, we are extremely lucky.

But of course that doesn't solve the root of the problem, so it's just a vicious cycle that gets worse every time we look at the housing market, or even just small places to rent. Like we can't afford to live on our own, a fucking 30 and 30+ year old couple who's been together 10 years this year. It's SAD.

And let me interject here saying this isn't a plea for handouts, I never do that. Never will without giving something (art, writing, etc) in exchange. It's not who I am. Never will be. I just want to vent.

Basically all we (and by that I mean only me atm, which is another layer of stress) can do at this point is work. Just like we were before when we were barely making ends meet. I got a new part-time job, literally got the call today that I can start, and fuck no it's not in retail. It pays more but it's still only like 20 hours a week so on top of that I'll be doing pet-sitting, walking and all that too. Plus, and I don't think I mentioned it here, I did get a big gift for Christmas that let me open an Etsy shop but so far there's nothing there. Not holding my breath there tbh.

Long story short, I'm overbooking and going to be over-working myself starting the middle of this week (1/29) and not really going to stop until something changes and I can actually live life and like it. Given the state of the world, particularly this country, that's probably undoable but I've got nothing else to anymore so FUCK IT.

I'll be relying on the queue a lot more from here on out. And I'll try to send memes and things but I'll really only have time to do things at night.

#give a little time to me | queue #out of touch | ooc #tw depression

[queenimmadolla]

I saw your previous ask about being poc and need to vent about some bs I saw on the dash today. Someone sent an ask to a writer I follow and mentioned the fact that most fan art/moodboard etc inspired by fics in this fandom depict reader as white, saying it’s not their fault it’s just a thing that happens here, and another writer took it upon themselves to interpret that comment as them attacking the writer and blaming them for all of the white washing that happens in this fandom(??) and said all the art being white washed isn’t an issue and then derailed the entire point being made. And whenever a poc tried to step in and be the voice of reason, and point out that it IS an issue, and that the original ask wasn’t attacking that writer, they would get blocked. And ofc they’re just being encouraged by their white writer friends, and instead of focusing on the original point, which is the fact that practically all the fan art in this fandom is white-washed, all these people are derailing entire point trying to say that ask was attacking someone and coming to that writers “defense”. It’s so fucking stupid and it just shows that you can literally VISUALLY SEE that most fanart/moodboard etc in this fandom feature WHITE PEOPLE and point it out but you’ll still get blocked and jumped on. It’s not the most egregious example of this kind of behavior I’ve seen on this site but they were so grossly misinterpreting what was being said, and NONE of their friends tried to step in and reason with them. It makes me wonder why I’m still here when I know if I were to say something I’d be treated the same way. This just doesn’t feel like a safe space at all.

Ah, yes. A prime example of that ignorant unconditional support (again, remember we want to let our friends know when something can be improved or they’re in the wrong so it can be learned from and corrected, not encouraged) and unchecked privilege. I’m gonna have to cut this lol. Gotta number (1-5) my paragraphs so I know if tumblr eats any.

1. I have no idea when this occurred or who was involved, but based on what you said, whoever turned this into a witch hunt against POCs for being upset that writers can’t be a little more open with aesthetics should be ashamed of themselves.

2. This is actually a huge issue in the fandom and I’m glad you brought it up because let’s talk about it! I’m a writer, obviously, and somehow, I manage to not have a bunch of white girls (as I write for fem!reader most of the time) depicted in my aesthetics. Because it’s not that fucking hard to go into Pinterest and not look for white girls. My reader is black, I’ve stated this in my about me section, however I don’t go that into description so multiple races can see themselves in my work! I have no problem finding black!reader aesthetics, but I haven’t used them yet because I do want everyone to feel as though they can read my works, especially if it’s not a fic where I describe reader a lot (if I do describe reader then yeah the fic is getting black girl aesthetics)

3.) diversity is something that can be talked about and should be talked about without white people getting offended (feels like we’re in Big Brother lol). if a white person is taking offense, we might have a problem on our hands because why exactly are they offended about POCs pointing out that we see nothing but a white reader as these aesthetics? hmm…

4.) it’s not hard to make sure people feel included. Its a bit redundant to purposely try not to mention race descriptions (which has improved since I came into this fandom) only to intentionally depict reader as white in the damn aesthetic or mood boards. It’s really not, but what you state you witnessed is why I don’t go around talking to writers willy nilly. It’s why I don’t follow people right away because it’s so, so disappointing to see that they practice passive poc erasure and exclusion, and I understand that it may not be intentional but to get upset and turn it into an attack when it was a moment to educate??? Nope, unfollow. The writers on here I consider my friends, whom I interact with are actually pretty amazing about this. Either they don’t use aesthetics at all (they use gifs of the ST character) or they use multiple girls of the aesthetic they’re going for (I see a white girly girl aesthetic, a brown skinned girly girl aesthetic, and a dark skinned girly girl aesthetic in the same fics and mood boards!) or they simply don’t care to ensure the reader they want to depict in those aesthetics is always white so I see dark skinned girls, brown skins girls and white girls in rotation of those aesthetics!

5.) exclusion is something they do not face, which is why they don’t care. if you attempt to educate them, and they react the way you said they reacted, I’d just dump them. I’d of course bring up the occurrence when talking about the topic for the rest of eternity because I’m petty and they gave me the perfect example, but if they don’t want to step out of their privileged bubble and go on the offense to ensure they can remain in their ignorance is bliss mindset, then I don’t want ‘em. There’s plenty of other writers willing to make sure you feel included and are willing to learn, without dogpiling on you like that 🩷

#$ replies #fandom do better #And if the anon isn’t hate and wasn’t submitted to you #And you feel the need to start something like THAT on behalf of another writer maybe simple DONT

[emptylittlebug]

6/19/23

238.0

In: Adderall, Wellbutrin, McDonald’s large vanilla iced coffee (230), pizza rolls (420), ranch (140) 790

Out: 10,274 steps. Fitbit says -2816

Total: -2026

Today:

I woke up feeling awful. My whole body aches. I hate this adjustment part. If I want to stop going through it the only answer is to stop giving up and just keep going.

I got the coffee to hopefully help the aches. I feel like I got hit by a car… I’m going to need some Tylenol if it doesn’t work. I can’t spend my day feeling like this. Ughhh.

Also have a stuffy nose. Did I mention I hate this adjustment part?… ugh.

Can’t give in. Can’t stop. Won’t stop. I’m too obese to be having these side effects of… “eating less”.

Edit:

It’s 9pm. I stopped feeling terrible about an hour after I made that update.

I had a pretty chill day.

Got 3 hours of overtime for work! Pretty excited about that.

My daughter is insisting I lay with her until she falls asleep (she’s 6) so I’ll finish my 10k steps later.

I can’t believe I’m not even the tiniest bit hungry.

— just venting about life and money for the rest of this so skip if you want —

Since I worked 3 hours over I didn’t get any crocheting done today. I’m not happy about that. But maybe I can get something made before I go to bed tonight. Not many more days until the craft show. Plus my stores aren’t selling much at all because they are so empty. I need to worry about the stores more than I do the shows. Idk why I don’t.

Today I spent a while looking on Zillow for houses. Problem is… idk where I want to live. Since my job is remote I can literally move anywhere I want to. But.. I can’t afford the houses I want in the areas I want to be in lmao. I thought about moving back home (an hour and a half away) but my kids dad just moved down here to be closer to them and he’s been helping out SO much I’d hate to mess that up. I do want to be down here. I do Not want to stay because of him or move closer to him. I do like it around here. I’ve only lived her for about 18 months. I do not feel safe in the part of the city I live in and we definitely have outgrown a 3bedroom apartment. Myself and an almost 14 year old son, 10 year old son, 8 year old son, and 6 year old daughter. Right now I have my room, the 14 and 10 year old share a room, and the 8 and 6 year old share a room. But the 14 year old NEEDS his own room. Puberty and all that. So I’ve been looking for a 4 bedroom for us. Moving to another apartment or rental is not an option unfortunately.

I either need a huge increase in income or I need a lot more saved up than I have currently to afford a 4 bedroom around here in a better part of town/the city.

I think that’s why I worry so much about the shows. It’s a lot of money in 1 day instead of a steady way lower amount of money monthly.

I need the steady. But I also want the lump sum to throw into savings faster.

I need more hours in the day.

My work did tell me today I can get up to 10 hours of overtime per week if I want them until they tell us differently. I could definitely use that extra $270/week! Hopefully I’ll stay disciplined enough to throw all the extra in savings. We will see I guess. I’m bad about wanting to throw it on credit card debt, which isn’t bad, but i really need it in savings right now.

I guess I’m more stressed about that than I realized. Damn.

I did find a house back home I could easily afford and it has everything we’re looking for. But. It’s back home.

I think I need to see a therapist again. For the first time in my life my anger is starting to get out of control. I’ve never been an angry person. But it seems like I go from a 3 to a 10 in a finger snap lately. I’m worried what that’s doing to my kids learning/development. I don’t want them to have any more anger issues than they already do… I really really need to work on it and I need some strategies and help. I had to give up therapy when I moved here. I miss my old therapist. I don’t think she’s still working there though, I looked her up on fb (I already know 😂) and it says she works at the school system now. I thought about texting her and just saying hey but I realized I only have her work cell number and it might not still be her number. I would be absolutely crushed if I texted it and someone wrote back they weren’t her. Idk.

Well I think my daughter is asleep now. Off to do 7.2k steps I go!

[yvmoveon]

TW death. This is a vent post for myself.

I keep thinking about what happened these past shifts I’ve worked. I need to vent everything out but I don’t even know where to start…

I started my shift with high acuity pts. One pt had bladder cancer and was going to surgery and ended with a CBI foley. Another was demented and her hemoglobin was at 3. Another had a exploratory lap sx. Another had a blood infection. and then the lady had MS and a UTI that turned into blood infection. But the patient that really had me emotionally and physically exhausted was this lethargic 79 year old man. He had covid and then ended up with clots in his legs and arms, a pulmonary embolism (clot in his lungs) and then a brain stroke. oh and also his heart rate was consistently in the 180s. When i received him, he was literally was a vegetable. he was being fed through a nasogastric tube. okay so here was the problem. he started getting more labored in his breathing so i checked his oxygen and he was at 70 percent i was like oh no. I went to get a non rebreather and I texted the doc to let him know. he was like there is nothing we can do, he needs to be on hospice because he’s very sick. I agreed. this man’s quality of life would be so low it’s like why make this man suffer.

I was able to get an order of morphine to relax him and stuff which worked for a short time. Now the granddaughter came and she works in the medical field. Palliative care NP came to speak to her about the code status. The pt was full code not Do Not Resuscitate. So like if his heart were to stop, we would have to do CPR and possibly break his rib bones all so that he will die in pain. Which made me extremely sad. The grand daughter was explaining that the pts wife deferred all decision making and to her except the code status. whenever anyone talked to her about allowing her husband to die with dignity instead of die with broken bones and in pain. But she was in so much denial and she didn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with everything which i completely understand. but like also … I saw how much distress this pt was in and i knew he wouldn’t make it within the next 24 hours.

So. I called the doctor because he started breathing agonally and he looked so uncomfortable. I felt so bad and I was getting so upset at the situation because you can see this man is suffering. The doctor told me to start a morphine drip and i was like huh?! with a full code pt?? So I called another doctor and he was like why would that doctor want to start a morphine drip when the patient is a full code. I was like exactly it don’t make no sense and i’m not doing that. so the doctor called me back saying he spoke with the grand daughter and the wife was still refusing but she wanted to start the morphine drip. which essentially meant the morphine drip which is given for comfort care so that pts could die in comfort… but if a patient is full code… that means when his heart stop from the drip, we would have to start CPR and break his bones. It basically doesn’t make sense cause it’s contraindicated.

So then another doctor calls and he’s like yeah no we’re not doing that all. it doesn’t make sense. he heard how stressed i was. 😭😭😭 i was stressed !!! So then he was like we’re going to do it the usual way and call icu and start him on high flow oxygen (because his oxygenation became like 20s) I called a freaking code, freaking out about how imma have to break this man’s bones when his quality of life is low and knowing he wont make it. So the code team comes in and the pt doesn’t lose a pulse thank God. We put on the high flow machine and the max he goes on to is like 80s. The code team and my coworkers are all looking stressed and sad because of the situation, it was just soooo sad all around. I got so upset because this man is suffering for what? because his wife doesn’t want to make a decision. by this time, i’m on my 15th hour of work. I leave and come back the next day and the pt coded again and ended up in ICU (when the family didn’t want that but changed their mind at the last second). Around 11am I hear a code blue in ICU and I immediately knew it was him. My friend was actually his nurse… they ended up doing 4 rounds of CPR. He ended up dying. But i’m glad he’s in peace rn. Seeing him in pain and struggling.

And then there was another code the next shift. I was sitting next door when i saw the pts heart going down… 50… 40… 30s… 20s and I said out loud, umm that doesn’t look too good. So i go and help the nurse and the pts heart is now asystole and i’m like um we need to call a code but the assistant manager is like um no we don’t the family was speaking to the doctor about hospice and making her DNR. So then me and this nurse asks, is there an official order? and he said no so we called the dang code. I was pissed off because you can’t just say you’re not gonna start CPR for that reason??? the family was there too and they confirmed that we should start it(This is why I’m scared of these new nurses). We began the CPR for 4 rounds, the pt didn’t make it either.

And getting through this all while precepting a new nurse mind you. It was just a lot of emotions and stuff man.

#and to add i was vomiting all night lmao #it was just a lot #I’m glad he’s at peace now #i was so emotional man #this whole situation just confirms to me that i wanna make a detailed will so my family won’t have to worry about about making the tough #decisions #cause this man ended up with broken bones and dying in pain for what?? #anyways i’m done now #💀 #venting #nursing #medicine

[feza-errata]

Episode 2: Where There’s Smoke!

KASAI, MIZURO, & YANZO are all speechless for a time until KASAI speaks up

KASAI: That… was so fucking awesome! God damn, Blondie, and here I was thinkin’ you’d be out for the whole trip!

YANZO: Yeah, that was crazy! You came out of nowhere all powered up and shit-//

KASAI: And then you hit ‘em with the (imitates explosion noises [despite there having been no explosions during the fight])! 

RAIKO: Yeah, I told you I was the shit! That level of power was entirely new to me though… Oh, AND DON’T YOU THINK I’M GONNA LET THE BLONDIE COMMENT SLIP BY YOU PUNK!

KASAI: (frantically) AYO WAIT CHILL IT WAS A FORCE OF HABIT ITWASAFORCEOFHABIT!!!

As RAIKO and KASAI are brawling in the background, YANZO goes to help MIZURO up

YANZO: Need help?

MIZURO(dissonant): I just don’t get it. Why didn’t my plan work? What went wrong? Everything was in place- it should have all played out perfectly I-

YANZO: HEY! You okay?

MIZURO finally notices that YANZO’s talking to him and snaps back to reality

MIZURO: Huh?! O-Oh, Yanzo. It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.

YANZO: It certainly doesn’t SOUND like nothing. Look, normally I’m not really keen on listening to other people’s problems, but if you need to vent then…

MIZURO: No no, really, it’s nothing… We should get going, there's no way those guards from earlier haven’t gotten through those vines yet, and they might come from the new hole made by the mech too.

YANZO looks at MIZURO unconvinced for a second

YANZO: Alright then.

YANZO pulls MIZURO up and as they go to rejoin the other two they’re stopped by the sound of a blunt object pounding metal

YANZO: Shit, THE PILOT!

As they turn around the back of the fried cockpit is kicked open, and a hairy man in HIGH-LEVEL armor, the PILOT, steps out. As the PILOT raises his head, YANZO throws a punch right at him, which he catches right before it lands

Cue intro

The PILOT stands tall and effortlessly catches YANZO’s second punch. RAIKO & KASAI stop fighting(KASAI was losing the fight anyway) once they notice that the PILOT stepped out of the mech

KASAI: The pilot?! Raiko’s blast should’ve done him in, how is he perfectly fine?!

MIZURO just stares at the PILOT in pure shock of his condition with an expression that just screams, “ANOTHER UNDERESTIMATION!?”

RAIKO: Wha- DON’T JUST STAND THERE, GET THE PILOT!

KASAI shouts at MIZURO while dashing in to help out YANZO, whose attacks are being treated as nothing more than mosquito bites.

KASAI: C’MON ZAMU, GET IT TOGETHER!

RAIKO runs up to MIZURO to try and help him get a grip

RAIKO: Hey, c’mon, we don’t got time for this! We’re in the middle of a prison break, remember!? We gotta stay focused!

MIZURO: I CAN’T! That’s twice now that I’ve underestimated the same opponent! The first time was almost fatal, the second time could’ve been just as deadly, I DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS THE THIRD TIME!

RAIKO: Look man, plans fail all the time- that’s just how it is! We don’t have time to worry about the future right now, we gotta focus on the here-and-now!

After turning to face RAIKO for a bit, MIZURO sharply turns his head away from her again in defeat

MIZURO: I just can’t put myself at risk like that again, not like I did before. I’d rather have them recapture me again.

RAIKO: UGH! Y’KNOW WHAT, YOU CAN FIGURE THIS OUT ON YOUR OWN! I’VE GOT A PILOT TO PUT DOWN!

RAIKO heads off in a fit of rage to join the fight against the towering MECH PILOT. MIZURO sits down and tries his hardest to think of a way out of this situation

KASAI: How the hell is he tanking these attacks like this!?

YANZO: That armor he’s got is top of the line! We gotta strike the uncovered spots! His reaction time is shit, so we should all attack at once and overwhelm him!

RAIKO: There’s no way he can block all three of us at the same time!

As KASAI, RAIKO, & YANZO rush at the PILOT, he pulls on some sort of cord from his suit, causing it to produce two large metal gauntlets. The PILOT, swinging the gauntlets fast enough to produce a strong current of wind, takes up a fighting stance

KASAI: WHA- IF HE COULD DO THAT THEN WHY EVEN BOTHER WITH THE MECH!?

YANZO: Transportation?

KASAI: Yeah, makes sense.

RAIKO: How can he swing those things around like that?! They’re about as big as that first guard and he’s out here usin’ them like boxin’ gloves!

With the PILOT on the offensive, KASAI, YANZO, & RAIKO are forced into defense yet again. The PILOT is too focused on the others to notice MIZURO, but MIZURO’s still too busy thinking to help; he does, however, notice the rumbling footsteps approaching from the tunnel entrance. Just then he turns to face them and sees that a large platoon of GUARDS of various levels is rapidly advancing towards him and the group. MIZURO’s attention darts back and forth between the PILOT to the GUARDS, between the jailbreak crew and the rumbling footsteps, and then all the panic hits him at once. Unless one of the others somehow manage to spark up their powers again, there’s no way out of this situation. They’re all going to die here, and all of their dreams would go forever unrealized. As the approaching GUARDS raise their weapons, MIZURO’s life flashes before his eyes, and then a rushing torrent of rapid water floods in from behind the GUARDS, carrying everyone in the tunnel back into the outside world. MIZURO, with an intense expression on his face, manages to control the blasting water enough to save KASAI, RAIKO, & YANZO from being launched with the GUARDS & PILOT into the nearby foliage and greenery. MIZURO and the others slowly descend, and the water seeps back into the Earth as they touch the ground.

RAIKO: Damn, now I’m soaked! Don’t tell me that you were really just waiting for your powers to kick in before you joined the fight, ‘cause if you were then I’m gonna-!

MIZURO: You’ve got it all wrong. The entire time I was wracking my brain trying to figure out what the next move should be, but it was impossible- I couldn’t think of anything!

YANZO: Have you ever been in an actual fight before?

MIZURO: You don’t GET it! My whole life I’ve prided myself on my perfect estimations and predictions, not once have they ever failed me, and now the ONE time I mess up I almost die for it! There’s never been a situation that I couldn’t think my way out of, so why was it so different this time?

KASAI: Oh get off it, would you!? We ALL almost died there! Your plan sucked and you screwed up, but you’re still here, right?

YANZO: Sometimes you just gotta live in the moment, y’know?

RAIKO: Look, we’re not friends or anything like that, but we are working together. If we don’t all work as a team, then everything falls apart!

There’s a moment of pause. Tension lays heavy in the air

MIZURO: I-…  I’m sorry everyone. I got so caught up in my own troubles that I-

An almost primal sounding roar is heard coming from somewhere deep in the forest where the GUARDS were launched

YANZO: Sounds like someone’s pissed.

RAIKO: Who could possibly have enough energy left after being launched like that to still come after us?

KASAI: Maybe it’s a bear?

MIZURO, RAIKO, and YANZO all look at KASAI with expressions of disbelief

MIZURO: …Did that sound like a bear to you?

KASAI: …A little bit…

RAIKO: Dumbass.

Just then, the MECH PILOT emerges from the thickets of the forest, his brow furrowed in rage and frustration

KASAI(realization): Ooooooh, it’s the pilot! Damn, how tough is this guy?

PILOT: You little shits are in for a world of pain! First, you fry my mech, then you flush me out of a tunnel, THEN MY SOCKS GET SOAKED FROM ALL THE GODDAMN WATER! SCREW RECAPTURING YOU, I’M JUST GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!!!

YANZO: You weren’t trying to do that before!?

KASAI: Yeah, I could’ve sworn you were gonna impale Zamu with that drill earlier!

Consumed by anger, the PILOT uproots a nearby tree with his bare hands and gets ready to fight

RAIKO: Damn, so he really IS that strong!

MIZURO: This will be a tough fight, but we’ve still got him out-numbered. It’s a four-on-one, so all we have to do is get through his defense!

YANZO: We’re out of miracles now, so it all comes down to skill.

The PILOT slams the uprooted tree down with great force in an attempt to crush MIZURO, but MIZURO manages to dodge, causing the tree’s tremendous mass to collide with the ground instead and become slightly lodged back into the ground

KASAI(sarcastic): Oh yeah, ‘cause all we need to take down the guy swinging A GODDAMN TREE at us is SKILL!

The tree is ripped back out of the ground, causing a slight tremor as it’s pulled from the Earth. The PILOT gets into a sort of batting stance with the tree, ready to knock one of the team members straight into the stratosphere

RAIKO: This is ridiculous, he swings that thing way too fast! How the hell are we supposed to get close enough to hit this bastard?!

MIZURO: Good question!

The PILOT takes a mighty swing with the tree, exerting tremendous wind pressure upon the group. The PILOT re-centers himself and starts to approach KASAI with grand fir in tow. Just then, KASAI hears an oddly familiar yet totally unrecognizable voice in his head and can feel the onset of a coming headache

???(echoey): Can you hear me? Is this voice clear to you?

KASAI: (to himself) Wha- the voice from earlier? No, this one seems more concentrated.

???(echoey): Don’t overthink it. Just listen to me, otherwise, we won’t survive this.

KASAI: (to the voice) Who are you? What are you doing in my head?!

???(echoey): THERE’S NO TIME FOR THAT JUST LISTEN! You must recall the sensation you felt from earlier when you melted the bars! Remember that feeling and focus it into your hands!

KASAI: Is now really the time for a trip down memory lane?!

As he says this, KASAI finds himself subconsciously doing just as the voice says. It’s an odd feeling, but somehow it still feels natural

???(echoey): Now aim!!

KASAI raises both of his hands in the direction of the PILOT, who takes notice of his confused expression

PILOT: Oh look, he’s trying to think of a way out of this. Well! Sorry to burst your bubble, BRAT, but there ain’t no escape now; THIS IS WHERE YOU DIE!!!

The PILOT brings the towering fir down on KASAI, who instinctively raises his hands in a vain attempt to stop his approaching demise

MIZURO:// KASAI!

YANZO:// IT’S TOO FAST!

RAIKO: MOVE!

As the imposing lumber descends upon KASAI, time itself seems to slow down 

???(echoey): NOW LET HIM HAVE IT!!!

From KASAI’s hands burst forth an enormous fountain of flame which not only lights the tree ablaze but also causes an extreme updraft that pushes the tree back up just enough for the PILOT to lose his grip on it. The enormous foliage lands just behind the PILOT, who turns to see it, then turns back to KASAI with an intense frustration

KASAI(surprised): Woah, that was me?

YANZO: He managed to call on his powers again?

MIZURO: Perfect!

RAIKO: HEY, SHIT-FOR-BRAINS! TRY DODGING NEXT TIME! I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA DIE!!

KASAI: OH CALM DOWN! IT’S NOT LIKE I GOT CRUSHED, I’M STILL HERE!

RAIKO: AND WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DO GET CRUSHED, DUMBASS!? THEN I’D HAVE TO PICK UP YOUR SLACK!

???(still echoey, but a little clearer): Focus on the fight!

PILOT: YOU LITTLE SHIT!

The PILOT reaches behind him, grabs the fallen tree by its sturdy roots, and sends it barreling towards KASAI at high speeds. The rolling tree hits a bump in the ground as it speeds towards KASAI, causing it to jump up and meet him at eye level. Once again, whether it be from the adrenaline coursing through his bloodstream or the power of some other person nearby, time slows almost to a crawl for KASAI as the fir approaches his head

???(echoey): Your hands aren’t your only option, concentrate that feeling into your mouth and let loose a blazing roar!

KASAI’s speed matches that of the time dilation as his mouth opens wide to reveal an immense fireball about to burst forth

KASAI: HAAAAAA!!!

The sudden explosive force of KASAI’s attack is enough to split the tumbling log into two pieces which then continue to fly right past KASAI’s head

RAIKO: Now’s our chance! C’mon, before he pulls something else out!

RAIKO, MIZURO, & YANZO rush in to help take down the PILOT

PILOT(thinking): Damn it, this wouldn’t be a problem if that stupid water boy hadn’t flushed away my gauntlets!

Seeing the others rush in, KASAI stands back and focuses on concentrating all the power he can muster into his hands.

???(echoey, but even clearer than before): The power I grant to you is that of a devastating inferno, now show this bastard what happens when you play with fire!!!

MIZURO is the first to reach the PILOT and they end up in a wrestling arm-grab tussle thing(I don’t know what it’s called the shit where both niggas are trying to throw each other by the arms at the same time) with both of them equally matched

MIZURO(struggling): (a small chuckle escapes from MIZURO) I guess you’re not as tough as you seem! Yeah, if that were the case then you wouldn’t be struggling against me like this, so it’s NOT just strength after all! Ha!

PILOT(thinking): I gotta take them out quick before they figure out my power!

PILOT: You. God. Damn. WHEEEELP!!!

With a sonorous roar, the PILOT tightens his grip on MIZURO’s arms and whirls his own body into a clamorous spin. He tosses MIZURO during the spin, but MIZURO sticks the landing as RAIKO and YANZO rush the PILOT from the other side

KASAI: Alright, time to say goodnight-

???: You need more, keep charging.

KASAI: Huh? But this is-

???: Keep. Charging.

The PILOT is facing RAIKO and YANZO as his spin comes to a halt and RAIKO catches him with a swift electrifying kick to the gut, followed by an uppercut to the jaw from YANZO. As the PILOT tries to recover from the sudden assault, MIZURO jumps in from behind with a roundhouse kick to the back of the PILOT’s head

KASAI: This enough?

???: Keep charging.

KASAI: This definitely seems like enough.

???: You want to win, don’t you? Then keep charging.

MIZURO, RAIKO, & YANZO are able to beat on the PILOT for a while before he finally sees his chance to turn the tides back in his favor. The PILOT viciously grabs YANZO by his leg, gripping hard enough to force a small yelp out of him, and proceeds to swing his tiny body around like a flail to fend off MIZURO & RAIKO. Once they get too far for the PILOT to whack them with YANZO, the PILOT tosses YANZO at RAIKO, who catches him in a stumble, and then quickly turns his attention to MIZURO, who lets a little laugh out

PILOT: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING AT YOU LITTLE PUNK?!

MIZURO just points to something behind the PILOT, prompting him to turn around. As he does, the PILOT’s expression changes from fury into one of shock and terror

PILOT: oh shit.

KASAI’s hands are glowing a bright yellow as he extends them outward towards the PILOT. The PILOT turns back around and attempts to grab MIZURO to use him as a shield, but MIZURO had already left the spot he was standing in the second that the PILOT turned around. Behind him, the PILOT hears KASAI’s voice

KASAI(fierce): Enjoy the fireworks, bitch!

KASAI releases his charged attack, engulfing the PILOT in a sudden, raging explosion.

PILOT: BASTAAAAAARD-

The area around the group had already been set ablaze by KASAI’s earlier attacks, but this one left a huge charred spot on the ground where the PILOT once stood… as well as a huge splatter of burnt blood and smoldering guts. The heavy air reeks of copper

MIZURO(shocked): Holy shit…

RAIKO(celebratory): HELL YEAH! WE DID IT! WOOOOOO!!

YANZO(shaking): H-He’s-… we just-

RAIKO(celebratory): WE! KICKED!! ASS!!! THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK WITH ME, SHITHEAD!! WOOOOOO!!!

YANZO(nauseous): I’mGonnaThrowUp-!

YANZO turns around and pukes his guts out after witnessing the terrifying scene in front of him

RAIKO: What’re you two acting so weird about? We won, you should be celebrating! C’mon!

KASAI slowly lowers his hands and opens his eyes, revealing to him the nauseating, horrific display that he created

KASAI(bewildered): W-wait, no… It was only supposed to be enough to knock him out… Y-you told me to-

???(echoey): I told you to keep charging if you wanted to win. You won, right?

KASAI(disoriented): Yeah, but I didn’t want to kill the guy! This is too much!

???(echoey): Your soul said otherwise. The first thing that came into your mind when the fight started was to kill him.

RAIKO: C’mon not you too, Kasai! You’re acting even weirder than the other two! Now’s the time for celebration! We won! And on top of that, we don’t gotta worry about that ugly sonuvabitch ever again! Nice job!

KASAI(distressed): This isn’t how it was supposed to play out! It was supposed to be a concussive blast- I didn’t want to kill him- THAT’S NOT WHAT HEROES DO!

A slow, methodical clapping can be heard coming from behind KASAI. As the clapping creeps closer and closer, KASAI turns around to see just who could be clapping at such a grotesque view

???: What a spectacle! The impromptu teamwork you all displayed has earned my respect! Bravo!

The white-robed, dark-skinned, old man acted as though he couldn't even see the destruction caused by the fight, only seeing the brawl itself

RAIKO: I know, right? That’s what I’M saying! What’s your name, gramps?

HEMAL: My name is Hemal, Hemal Gigs, and I have a proposition for you all.

KASAI: I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can-

HEMAL: Train under me.

KASAI: Huh?

HEMAL: You have all awoken to a miraculous new power, but it is crude and unrefined. Train under me and I can personally guarantee that you all will shine like the sun!

Upon hearing this, MIZURO composes himself, takes a deep breath, and speaks

MIZURO: My apologies, Mr... Gigs, was it? But we don’t know anything about you aside from your name. We have no reason to accept your offer.

YANZO(still a bit shaken): Yeah, and how did you know that we ALL gained new power? Seems kind of creepy, dude.

HEMAL(light-heartedly): Well you’ve got me there, maybe I AM a bit creepy! From the moment you all entered the building I monitored your every move through the cameras.

YANZO: You’re really not helping your case here.

MIZURO: It was kind of weird how it took so long for the alarms to go off…

RAIKO: WAIT, then doesn’t that mean you WORK for these guys?!

HEMAL: No no no, you’ve got it all wrong! I hacked into the camera feed in that building a long time ago, that’s all! I’ve been looking for promising young trainees for a long time, and I think you four are just right!

KASAI: Why train us in the first place? What’s your goal in all this?

HEMAL: Ah, so many questions! What is this, an interrogation? I’m looking for a successor to my title! As you can see, I’m getting on in years, and sadly due to a genetic disease I can’t just have my own kids and train them up; SOOO, I decided to go looking for people like you to take my place!

KASAI: Sad story, but-//

HEMAL quickly dashes up behind KASAI to talk to him more personally

HEMAL: Look, son, I can see a lot of myself in you. Our souls are one-in-the-same, you and I! I too have made many, many mistakes in the past. I know exactly how you felt when you saw the aftermath of your attack, but with my guidance, you’ll never have to feel that way ever again. So whaddya say, will you grant this poor old man his one final wish?

There’s a pause as HEMAL extends his open hand out waiting for anyone to accept his offer

RAIKO: Well I dunno about these chumps, but I’m in! I don’t really have anything better to do anyway… or a place to stay. Just put a roof over my head and some food in my belly and you can train me up all you want!

MIZURO: You seem a bit too confident in your ability. Pretty much every power works differently. Would you even understand half the things that you try to teach?

HEMAL holds up his hand and produces a small orb of light which suddenly shoots a powerful thin beam at a nearby rock, leaving it with a perfectly smooth hole

HEMAL: Trust me, son, I know what I’m doing. Believe it or not, my powers have the same origins as yours.

MIZURO, KASAI & YANZO all take a moment to think about the offer

YANZO: Hmm, training under someone with an intimate understanding of this power would be better than hiring a PPT.

KASAI: Then you two are gonna train under him?

MIZURO: After seeing what you could do with this power, I think this training could prove useful to me, so yeah, I’ll take the offer.

YANZO: I’m not sure… I’ll have to think it over a bit.

HEMAL: Well, what about you, flame prince? I can turn your glowing ember into a raging flame! With power like that, anything could be yours!

KASAI: After what happened here today, the safest bet would for sure be training, but-//

HEMAL: But whaaat? C’mon, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity! You gotta strike while the iron’s hot! It’s not just training, you know? I’ll offer all of you the same amenities I’ll be giving the lightning rod here!

RAIKO shows visible frustration with being called “lightning rod,” but stays quiet for now. KASAI thinks about the offer some more and after a bit of awkward silence HEMAL speaks up

HEMAL: Well, either way, I won’t force you. It’s your decision in the end. It would be a huge waste, however, if your power went unrefined; so please, consider my offer.

HEMAL hands KASAI a small Contact Card® with what seems to be hastily scribbled information on it. KASAI looks up from the card to see an earnest smile on the old man’s face, and after a moment of pondering, KASAI notices that the card mentions Toar City

KASAI: Wait, you live in Toar City?

HEMAL: Yep, lived there my whole life! Why?

KASAI(excited): This is perfect! I was waiting for a chance to get to Toar-… (KASAI clears his throat and fakes some composure) Well, I guess training under you would be better than trying to figure this out on my own. I won’t make any promises on that whole successor thing, but I will at least stick around until I get a handle on my powers.

HEMAL: YOU WILL!? YOU REALLY WILL!?!?

HEMAL starts doing a little celebratory dance, seemingly having just achieved a great victory

HEMAL: OOOoooh you have NO IDEA how happy I am to hear that! Trust me, son, you WON’T regret this! When this is over, there will be absolutely NOTHING that could ever POSSIBLY hold you back!

KASAI(thinking): Geez, this guy’s going nuts! Maybe I should’ve declined…

Cue outro

To Be Continued...

#original story #errata