#also hi ive found a new charger for my tablet :>

[yourfaveisscrunklyscrimblo]

Clarence Crossley from Vampyr is scrunkly scrimblo!!!

Requested by: anonymous

#finally we get suggested a middle aged man with a receding hairline #also hi ive found a new charger for my tablet :> #your fave is scrunkly #your fave is scrimblo #your fave #clarence crossley #vampyr #request #mod meffy #eyestrain

[james-bucky-barnes-imagines]

Saving Bucky barnes chapter 5

Strange reached and turn ur head and see the blood in your ear he says you either have as busted eardrum or a pretty bad concussion. Come in let's get you 2 taken care of. Strange shows you 2 what looks like a sick bay. you lay bucky on the examination table and wince at the pain your side. strange says u get on the other table. you stumble and fall on your butt you look up 2 strange he then picks you up and carries you through the gold ring to the hospital. you say strange put me down im hurt and bleeding ill get blood on your cape he says you been shot this is how im keeping pressure on it and carry you at the same time. I got my hand firmly on the wound so you wont bleed on me. You say what about bucky I don't want to leave him for 2 long in case he wakes up. im worried he won't remember and will try 2 leave i dont know if he will be the winter Soldier or bucky. Strange says Wong is watching him and no one but us can come into any of the rooms just the foyer so he will be safe. Right about that time he sits you down and hands you a heavy rag he says hold this on it. I dont know why you like to worry more about the Sargent then your own well being your not immortal just cursed . You take your jacket off the pull up your shirt. You fold the rag double and place it on the wound. strange turns around with shears and says oh well that's easier. Your irises turn a deep red as you say very seriously no one cuts my jacket ever. Strange chuckles and sets the shears down. he says im just going to put some gauze and tape on it cause I know you will heal he pulls out the bullet applies the bandage and then wraps your waist tightly and tapes it. He takes the eye check thingy to check your eyes for signs of a concussion but u remind him it dosen't work on you. You try to get up but strange says no your staying put. You need to take care of your Self the sargent is fine. you say I think im gonna be sick he quickly grabs a trash can. which you promptly empty your Stomach contents into .

Strange says. I may have underestimated how bad of a concussion you have. He quickly scoops you up but not without protests from you about he needs to focus on bucky and not you. You finally convince strange to set you in a dark room so you can rest. He says not 2 sleep that you need your brain to heal. Strange goes 2 checks on bucky. You suddenly hear a group of people walking down the hallway. Shit you curse and hide as you hear the people talking 2 a nurse you recognize them as hydra agents they look like the same agents from the tower. one checks in the room your in instead of killing him you just sneak out in your glamour . Strange catches u in the hallway (becase he can see through the glamour). you say we have 2 get 2 him now! I don't know how they knew i was here but if they know im here they know he isant being watched. Strange takes you back 2 bucky he is still out you can hear him his heart slowly beat. You whisper come back 2 me James I can't lose you, I'll snap and no one will be safe if I lose my heart.... You drift off laying on buckys shoulder listening to his heartbeat slowly continue on. Strange wakes you up later saying ur not supposed 2 falls asleep you rub your eyes and say strange I'm nocturnal I sleep during the day im sure im fine is there anything u can do 2 get bucky 2 wake up? It's then you notice the room is silent except for strange's heartbeat your eyes grow wide and you look at bucky . his chest isant rising as it's supposed when he breathes any more. you shake him bucky! Bucky please wake up! You scream strange do something!!! His heart isant beating! He isant breathing! You begin to panic what happened strange! Just about the time your about 2 threaten the Dr who is trying 2 use the time stone. you are jarred back into reality by a very cold bucket of water on you and strange and bucky calling your name. You look up bucky through water dripping into your eyes you jump up and hold him tight as you can without hurting him you say I thought I lost you. Thank heaven it was just a bad dream. You hold him tight listening 2 his heartbeat. You ask strange if it's safe 2 go back 2 the tower he. Replied yes but you not going anywhere. Bucky chimes in

y/n your heart stopped I don't know if it was a bad dream. I thought i was going loose you. strange thinks you need 2 heal so u need to stay here. strange walks in with an entire bag of A+ he says down this and your free 2 go or u can get it in an iv, either way, u need it because u lost a good amount. You reply My meds are for that they have all the minerals and stuff in a tablet so i don't have 2 do that. you push the bag away not wanting it . Bull shit! Bucky yells y/n drink it or u will have it in an iv. Strange says ill get bucky 2 hold u down. Buck answers in Russian да. you say fine! You grab the bags and walk into another room and come back a few seconds later then say now can i go home? Strange says yes so you teleport back. As you arrive cap says good ur suited up mission time you look 2 bucky and giggle and says well lets get back on the plane then. The look on buckys face is priceless you get on your tipe toes and say softly this time i promise not 2 have a fit and down the plane. He says will u get my ear plugs from my room please and i will get your meds from bruce? You say ok and poof off bruce is in the lab when bucky walks in he says im here 2 get y/ns meds ? Bruce chuckles and hands him a white foam cup and says do not drink it. he also hands him a bottle of pills and says incase your gone for a few days which bucky puts in his cargo pocket and snaps close. Bruce hands him a small medicne cup with several different pills. You show up right as buck walks into the kitchen he says great i i found u here he hands u the cup and pill cup. You hand him his ear plugs and say put them in now so i know their in he puts them in and kisses you on the top of your head and says softly спасибо, ангел (thank you angel ) now take your pills so i know you got your meds. You take the pills and teleport the two of you to the roof and wait. You say before you load the plane "bucky i want you to hear this new song ! " he says we gota get loaded jarvis can play it on the plane ok ? You say slightly deflated sure ... he starts getting all the gear ready for what ever yall are going 2 need steve usually told you what exact details you were going u thought about the charger 2 buckys ear buds was left on the counter you telelported back and grabbed it and teleported back you also grabbed some other equitment so incase you needed it. You helped get every ones gear in place. Thor and loki were always second 2 load the plane after about 5 mins the plane was taking off and you asked jarvis 2 play the song you had found earlier it was called perfect by Ed sheeran. Bucky chuckled and said i heard this the other day and thought of you and how you love slow dancing. Heard cap stand up he told you 2 it was just another mission to retive intel on a project hydra was trying to recreate the super soldier program. Cap thought it might have bucky's file in it and that if they could get the file they could figure out how to deactivate buckys trigger words . The base was in the english countryside it was not going 2 be easy getting in but you were going in alone . Bucky chimed in about u going in alone but you reminded him what happened last time he stood watch and you werent having that happen again. Cap said try not to kill every one this is supposed 2 be a stealth operation. You chuckled and said i make no promises cap...

#@jpat82

[crookedtacoluminary]

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[andivebeenafoolandivebeenblind]

my story!

Day 1: Today was a long and very emotional day, M came with me to the hospital, where i had too tell my story from the very beginning, which was difficult. After the D&A team and the MH team finally figured out what they were going to do with me, i ended up waiting for patient transport as they were admitting me in Wyong. After arriving in Wyong and being metal detected, vitals done and shown where everything was I spent an hour or so just in my room which is number 21, at the end of the corridor, away from the desk. When I thought everyone had gone too bed, I went and sat in the common area and watched a bit of whatever was on tv. I had a small reserved chat with a girl who is 31 and in the room next too mine. They’ve taken my phone and bra’s off me. I can hear the rain outside. I’m nervous about tomorrow with all the new Dr’s and having too repeat my story and hopefully be cleared for piggies. M was amazing today! I cried so much on the drive too Wyong :(

Day 2: Today was rough! after a some what hard sleep with a few awoken moments and tears, I found it very difficult for me to wake up for breakfast. After breakfast I had a shower and went to sit out in the courtyard. I sat in on ‘group psychology’ and didn't really say anything. I spoke with a psychologist, psychiatrist and the MH ward GP. Sooooooo many questions asked on their end. I was approved for two, thirty minute breaks (smokes) unaccompanied leave and one hour of accompanied leave per day! We get our phones on each break so I need my charger I had smokes today thanks too a guy in here. Since being back i got very agitated and had a headache, so I was given 1g of panadol l and 100mg of serequel and then the night meds too sleep which were zopiclone. I start a new a new antidepressant tomorrow morning. Right now my mood is 4/10 Megan comes tomorrow and smokes. One step at a time.... still really want too end it all but everyone here is the best kinda support. Tomorrow is a new day.

Day 3: Today most definitely had its ups and downs. For starters NOONE called me, I had too call you and no-one answered, so all g I’m over it now.... I found waking up was different and that i felt like a space cadet its worse than being lit thats for sure. I haven't got too pick my menu yet so morrow will be a surprise as well, the new girl E, she presented too GDH ED the same afternoon I did. M and her mum came too see me today, they saw my room. We just stood outside so i could smoke. Mum is coming up tomorrow around 1-1:30pm but thats when lunch is, hopefully we go shopping and we get ciggies, and fingers crossed she remembers the shit too get me including my thongs and charger. Second night in a row of zopiclone and serequel, administered separately both with effect. Goodnight cruel world.

Day 4: Sunday was eventful thats for sure. I felt sick, space cadety, belittled loved, scared and unsafe. Mum came too see me today, we hung out and got coffee’s. She bought me clothes, smokes and my glasses. We were belittled together by a nurse about bringing coffee back onto the ward. I was also asked if I had spoken too any patients of the rehab ward, too which i responded NO!. I danced outside, I cried, I am currently feeling unsafe and know I’m still a 3/10 if not maybe even a 2/10 because i stole a fucking staple, a singular fucking staple, but I’ve got this. My emotions are sooooooo out of whack, I rang N on my last break of the day  and face timed him and H. Rang C and told him where I was. I haven't had a zopiclone yet, just a serequel, ladies and gentleman “Next on, is A going too kill herself?”

Day 5: Just when I thought I couldn’t feel any worse, I woke up! Today has just been challenging I was woken up too take my medication, breakfast was crap, I did go out into the courtyard and throw oranges at the tree with J this morning. L and I went on the morning walk and snuck ciggies out. Mum wouldn’t visit me today because of my mood! I had an ECG and MSU the ECG was fine, my MSU showed all the recreational drugs I’d been taking outside of admission. *D and A came and saw me. Last night I hurt myself with the god damn staple and I was honest with my morning nurse about it and I was spoken too about HDU, where I don’t want to go! which got me on 1/2hr watches. Ive had 150mg of serequel today so thats not good. I didn’t like the psychology group today, maybe tomorrow’s will be better. I rang N and spoke too him before his phone died, he made me laugh which was good. Hopefully this is as low as I’ll feel which is a 1/10.

Day 6: Today was okay, I was around 3/10-4/10 for a vast majority of the day, but I’ve had some lows. I was so drugged out this morning during my appointment with the psychiatrist, but the general gist is I’m here until I’m not scared of myself anymore, I do however get extra leave. 2 X1hr unaccompanied and 1X2hr accompanied. I walked over too the petrol station today too buy cigarettes and a 30pk of winfield blue crush cost me $40.45! WTF! Snuck a biggie out on the morning walk again and had headpins hahaha. I bought a large soy dirty chai. After my afternoon break I came back in and wanted too sign myself out! I spoke with J and E about it then I rang N and he gave me some hard truths, that i needed. After the morning walk because the psychologist wasn’t there the OT organised cooking, so we baked 2 cakes.  Tonight I have been in and out of tears for god only knows why, no thats a lie there are a few reasons why, I took my night time meds tonight so lets see how i feel when i wake up considering I’m still scared of thoughts. C my nurse this morning has been fantastic.

Day 7:  I woke up a 3/10 I didn’t have breakfast, I went for the morning walk and snuck a biggie. Came back form the walk 2/10 spoke with G the psychologist on the ward, for a fair bit of time and was able to speak about somethings I haven’t ever spoken about. For my first 1hour break i went too Kanwall shops to go too the bottle-o with B, I bought 2 bottles for $12 and there was 7.4 standard drinks too a bottle. We sat at the park had a few ciggies, I tack vommed real good, we walked back too the unit, I had a shower and changed and washed my clothes. For the second break B and I did the same thing except this time I only bought 1 bottle and we shared it. We didn’t finish it and left it near the school, I’ll be going back for it tomorrow. My afternoon was about a 4/10 and then my mood started too drop and now i have been randomly crying for no particular reason. O’s exhibit J’s currently girlfriend is in here and she is a piece of work, J visited her almost all afternoon.  After B and I went for the second walk we were where we normally smoke, I laid down on my back and B sat on my stomach, she looked down at me and kissed me, and then we kinda made out and N saw us, we went too go inside, when she called me over in-between the buildings and we started making out again. N saw it again lol, so we had a smoke with him and then walked back in. According too R I’m fucking “desperate and stupid” because i used a staple too hurt myself, she is so lucky L told me and that I didn’t hear it because Id be sitting in HDU right now. I miss my mum and hope she comes too see me tomorrow and I won’t be drunk.

Day 8: I got lamb drunk today, I saw the psychiatrist and MO today and I’ve been put on 5mg Diazapam (Valium) BD aswell as being on a benzo withdrawal scale, which is weird, why did they wait 7 days too put me on a bento withdrawal scale? any who I get 6 hours/ day accompanied or unaccompanied leave hoping for discharge on monday. If not all good. I wish i was out for the weekend but im going too organise with mum a time too go see N. Mum has saturday, sunday and monday off work so she will see me then with C and possibly Nan. C said he will come and see me tomorrow. I rang N tonight where he told me after his appointment today, he came too see me but I was in the middle of lunch and they didn’t even tell me, he thought I picked food over him! As if that could ever be true. Im getting referrals too psychotherapy and my GP is going too get a discharge summary with how too wean me off Valium. I really miss N and just want an N hug and too play the drums. N left today, I wished him the best of luck.

Day 9: Today is Friday and I went and got super smashed, mum knows about my bento withdrawal scale and is okay with that she doesn’t know I’m smashed. I cant wait too see her tomorrow and go too the beach with her and C. Tonight I was so drunk I couldn’t do the withdrawal scale but they gave me a sleeping tablet. I fell over on my walk back too the hospital and fucked up my knee’s toes and one wrist.  I don’t want to feel this bad again I was literally laying where we smoke and I was tack coming hard. NEVER AGAIN! they want too take my solo leave away but they will let me out tomorrow with mum so I guess thats okay. Mum is taking me too the beach so I’m excited about that.

Day 10: I went too the beach today and it was great! the weather was warm but the water was absolutely freezing, yet refreshing. C was a no show today, which didn’t faze me. Mum bought me a razor so i could shave, but she made me strip too my underwear and show her my body both before AND after the shower and then she checked the razor, it was humiliating, but i completely understand why she did it and I don’t blame her! After the beach mum and I went too Lakehaven shops where we went too coles and Kmart, we got KFC for food. At Kmart I bought a new pair of shorts and a pair of thongs. Once I got back to the ward I had a biggie or two and started feeling really low so instead of doing something I’d regret I walked back through the doors too the ward, where after dinner I went straight to bed, looking back on that feeling I’m sure its because I was surrounded by a lot of people and I was just very overwhelmed, but I spent most of the night in my room or not engaging with people in the common areas. I snuck my phone in tonight, and messaged N until I fell asleep. I only took a 50mg serequel instead of that and a zopi. Im seeing mum tomorrow and she is taking me too see N and I’m super excited, I’ve missed him so much.

Day 11: Today has been a mixed bag of emotions, waking up every hour or so last night probably didn’t help. I woke up for my morning meds and breakfast with no-one waking me up. I went out for my morning smoke at 10 in my pj’s and took an hour. I went and laid in the sun in the courtyard with J, I then started to get ‘bad’ thoughts and went too lay down and read. I ended up getting PRN serequel because I could feel my heart beating through my chest and I was getting really edgy, I think that was because I was nervous about seeing N and Z this afternoon. Mum came up at around 2pm and we sat in the common area chatting for a bit, we then played uno, where I whopped her ass! Mum then signed me out on leave and we went too the small park right behind Tuggerah Westfeild so I could meet up with N and Z. When I saw N he gave me the biggest and best most needed cuddle I’ve ever had, he didn’t let me go, I had a few tears but it was okay, we talked, i laughed we got in Z’s car because the boys had something for me too listen too and it was THEIR SINGLE and it was fucking filthy, I’m so proud of them. N said he would come and stay at mum’s with me when i got out and we would dye my hair and go clothes shopping hahaha. On the drive back too the hospital I started getting really upset and anxious because I just wanted to go home with mum, but I’ve spoken with my nurse and it looks promising for discharge tomorrow :) Fingers crossed everything goes well. I smuggled my phone in again tonight.

#mental health #bpd #mentally ill #institutionalised #mental ward #12 days #suicde #suicide prevention #dont glorify mental illness