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lovesickbrat · 5 months

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I'm so interested in your style progression. I remember that it was classic coquette (when you were in like middle school) - then classic coquette and grunge (brat mag era) - then coquette noir now. Can you like explain what you wore and why it progressed the way it did? (I'm a fashion nerd)

mmmm for me it was kind of a natural progression bc even back in middle school i was into darker styles but i wore uniforms and had no money so the only time i got to wear cute clothes was summer so therefore more classic coquette clothes but they were all from like marshalls and i was also a middle schooler so not quite crop tops, lots of wet seal too, overalls, flowery dresses stuff like that

the part thats missing truly is high school i would say bc i was like Thee grunge/punk girl in high school after my quick normie phase at 14 bc i was tryna figure myself out and during my darker high school phase i was also going thru a lot with my like gender idenitt bc i felt like a girl but i also didnt but i also waant nonbinary lmao sooo lota of matching sets (this one plaid one i got from f21 was my fav til someone else started copying so i had to change it), mini skirts + band tees were my signature look, lots of boots, fishnets (i was real scandalous for that one), turtlenecks etc. i was the reason they stopped dresscoding ppl bc i would wear mesh shirts and ahit and not care

also ive had blue hair since high school like i had ot from 15-19 so my blue period was def my grungiest era

when i was in brat mag era it was rlly me reconciling the parts of me i felt i had to throw away (i still had a fascination with nymphet but i was under the impression that i could talk abt it out loud) so i started to just go back to what made me happy during quarantine i was done with HS i was in my room i could rlly just rediscover myself and my old interests and indulge in them at my pace instead of throwing it away?

like the iconic blue romper was from goodwill i got it while with my cousin and she bought it for me bc ahe said i just had to have it, lots of early shein clothes before i knew it was bad so cherry print dresses, tube tops, short shorts bc at the time during quarantine i rarely went out so me and my mom often too trips to the park to relax lots of my rlly popular pics from that time were taken by my mom lol

but i also wore lots of clothes i already owned like the dickies dress, and my black ripped shorts, and my tie dye crop top i got from a church thrift store like i rlly wanted to add my personal style

then idk a lot of stuff happened to me from 19-early 21 so i just kinda became a more moody and morose person and i also was (and still am) frustrated with lots of aspects of current coquette esp since ppl clown me for wanting my flowers and im kinda feeling the same as i did when i was 18 and wanting to indulge in my past desires so my clothing during my last two years of college were all over the place plus i gained a lot of weight and was tryna figure out my new body

i chopped all my hair off dyed it auburn now i have massive boobs and im in a state thats hot year round soooo less effort lots of shorts and tank tops some pieces from LA apparel etc another “finding myself era”

so now im kinda like who 12-13 yr old me wishes she coulda been if she wasnt a literal baby LOL like i talk abt this in the book club discord but if we take the morality of what we were doing out of it we just were a lot freer during og coquette days and im kinda like…hm well gonna go back to not caring and being weird and not in the cultivated weirdness way of the histrionic coquettes now but like just genuinely talking abt shit i like and clothes i like and its rlly just a blend of all of my past selves coming together tbh but its just evolving

so back to boots but more variety not just combat/docs, more mini skirts again (my plaid skirt 1 graphic tee combo coming back), fun coats, oversized sweaters, well fitting bras (im trying at least), mini dresses, bootcut jeans

#ask.pdf

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redandfranticfeelings · 5 years

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an autistic analysis, lyric by lyric, of ‘i love play rehearsal’

ive been hyperfixating over bmc for the last month and i keep thinking about how autistic the main characters are and christine is so very very very autistic coded to me. so i decided im just going to straight up deconstruct the lyrics of her signature song in the context of her being autistic (and also having adhd, but my experience is mostly in autism)

this is very very rambley and based more on personal experience than research, so i doubt itll be interesting to anybody but me, but i just want to talk about christine, the autistic queen

I love play rehearsal Because its the best! Because it is fun. I love play rehearsal and I get depressed as soon as its done.

it goes without saying that chrstine’s special interest is theater right? the way she treats it as the “highlight of [her] life” and then switches into this song after acting completely awkward and disinterested in jeremy outside of the context of him being engaged in her special interest.

But not depressed as in like kill yourself depressed No, im not into self-harm Dude, I swear, here check my arm!

overexplaining in a way that reads very much like speaking before she thinks, even though bringing up self harm in casual conversation with someone you barely talk to is not exactly proper etiquette. i think this is also an adhd trait? going faster than your own brain. that’s basically this whole song.

See, I just use the word to emphasise a point, Show the passion I have got I am passionate a lot. I have mad, gigantic feelings, Red and frantic feelings, About most everything Like gun control, like spring,

a lot of people assume autistic people are typically emotionless but it’s also very easy for us to get caught up in emotional issues especially when it comes to stuff we love, and it catches us off guard. christine being hyperempathetic is implied later in the show when she has that awful survivors’ guilt over making fun of rich and jake, and it also plays into her being so socially conscious as well.

Like if I’m living up to all I’m meant to be.

being an high school junior is really rough bc of all the decisions that have to be made regarding college and your future as an independent adult, and being autistic just makes it worse bc it can easily lead to burnout to deal with so much at once, if you even can comprehend these things much at all (i had no idea what to do, lol). i doubted my ability to grow up and succeed constantly because i had no idea who to talk to and what questions to ask and how to present myself. that’s something that a lot of people worry about, but having social delays makes it way more of a pressing issue than it is for neurotypicals, i feel.

I also have a touch of ADD. Where was I? Oh, right!

self explanatory and very canon. adhd and autism can be diagnosed simultaneously nowadays and the symptoms overlap a lot, btw.

I love play rehearsal, Cause’ you are equiped with direction and text, Life is easy in rehearsal, You follow a script so you know what comes next. Anywho the point that I’m getting to is sometimes life can’t work out in the way It works out in the play

this part screams autistic culture to me. unpredictability is scary because social situations don’t always go smoothly like in fiction! this is why social scripting is a popular therapy tactic for autistic children- you have to manually study social situations like a script. theater is something meant to be memorized and recited until you’re able to process it and manufacture emotion, but honestly for autistic kids, life feels a lot like that sometimes. remember how miserable she got when one of her favorite plays had the script changed without her permission to make a whole new story she doesn’t know? of course that’s just upsetting on its own, but in the context of her knowing theater so well and being fully prepared for one story only to be forced to learn a new one? ouch.

christine is never shown as comfortable outside her element- she hides in a book during “more than survive” and shrinks into nothing at the party. it’s a recurring theme that she has no idea exactly who she is, struggles with her identity outside of theater, and despite not really caring about how people see her, she does care about her own ability. socializing makes her feel awkward, especially when something totally unexpected happens like jake or jeremy asking her out. if she doesn’t have a plan or routine or, well, a script, then she can’t trust herself to go forward.

Like the only time I get to be the center of attention, Is when I’m Juliet or Blanche DuBois

as an autistic theater kid, i just really do relate to being clueless and dumb in real life but being able to totally thrive on the stage, because you can channel the energy that is usually misplaced in real life social interactions, and transfer it through dialogue and song and dance that someone else laid out nicely for you.

and can I mention? That was really one of my best roles, Did you see that?

an epic combination of letting your mind wander easily without caring about making sense to the person you’re speaking to, and taking every opportunity to infodump. in a lot of productions she even mimics her blanche voice just for fun. jeremy tries to respond here but she doesn’t care because she’s in her own brain where everything only really seems to make sense to her.

And no matter how hard I try, It’s impossible to narrow down the many reasons why, I love play rehearsal. I happiness cry whenever it starts!

if she isn’t being hyperbolic then this plays into my ‘so much emotion it’s hard to control’ thing detailed a bit above. either way, big special interest mood.

It’s just so universal Getting to try playing so many parts. Most humans do one thing for all of their lives, The thought of that gives me hives! I’ve got so many interests I wanna pursue,

it’s a lot easier to lose yourself and connect to your special interest than focus on your very complex, very overwhelming real life issues. escaping into fiction and being able to play in a variety of social situations as a totally different person, yay theater!

in general i just like the idea of christine struggling to visualize who she is and thinking about a lot of hypothetical but being unable to choose which one is most desirable or plausible. idk if that’s autistic or just a fun character trait lol. i know jumping from interest to interest is an adhd thing though.

this little passage is good for at least showing that christine distinguishes herself from ‘most humans’ in a way that isn’t so much ‘not like other girls’ but like ‘life is so much more confusing to me than it seems to be to others’ (which the show proposes isn’t exactly true and is the same closed-mindedness that jeremy has, though christine realizes it sooner; however; the sentiment rings true in that christine, as a neurodiverse young woman, has a lot more hoops to jump through than a neurotypical classmate.)

And why am I telling this to you? Guess there’s a part of me that wants to.

jeremy is also very autistic coded in my eyes, but that’s a separate post. i just like them being drawn to each other through that sort of kinship. also if you interpret her as having an unrealized requited crush on him…well, i think for a lot of us, romantic love is easy to confuse with friend love, if even that, because the specifics of emotions are a mess to unravel. (which also explains her confusion on her relationship with jake)

oh and right after this, she starts squawking just because she had the impulse to do so. vocal stimming, much?

Back to play rehearsal, My brain is like ‘bzzz’ My heart is like 'wow’

my brain is always like bzzz honestly lol. this is generally a pretty good way to describe being hyperfocused.

Because we’re here at play rehearsal, and it’s starting, We’re starting, It’s starting, Sooo-ooon.

it’s been confirmed as a deliberate decision that christine’s songs never end on a rhyme, except when she’s squipped and it isn’t ‘really’ her, because she subverts everyone’s expectations, including jeremy’s. i feel that could make for a nice simplified metaphor for autism, right?

#christine canigula #autistic headcanons #allistics can reblog!#be more chill #bmc #gif #long post #queue are so busted #i might do something like this for loser geek whatever and/or more than survive #or even just bmc songs in general if i cant get enough material from them individually #be more neurodivergent #kin tag

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