#also posting to my side blog cos i don’t want my irl mutuals to see me vent lmao cringe

[nothorses]

About the thing you posted with the “why do people show emotional vulnerability on tumblr” or whatever, like

Some of us don’t have anyone to talk to irl. Some of us can only discuss certain things on here, and it’s like… maybe a stupid way, but a way to try and show the people who’re hurting you “hey there’s a human behind this screen”. Idk. I know it’s not healthy but… I don’t know what to do. I’d feel like just keeping quiet about it means betraying myself somehow.

Totally! And I think there's a huge difference between "showing vulnerability"- a normal and very healthy thing to do- and what I was talking about, i.e., depending mostly or completely on the validation you may or may not receive when you turn to Whoever Sees Your Blog At The Time for vital emotional support.

The reason I bring this up at all is because I've seen a lot of people do this kind of thing in various ways; I still can't really wrap my head around why so many people want to vent about urgent mental/emotional crises in a public Discord server, for example. Not that it's not understandable, or that people who genuinely don't have anyone else to turn to are doing anything wrong, or, obviously, that everyone in those situations in the first place is doing anything wrong by being in them.

The thing is, it's almost never actually productive or healthy. I would wager that a lot of people going into it know it's not productive or healthy, or at least isn't likely to be. For some of them, that's probably the point.

It's a bunch of random strangers. It's people you don't know, and can't predict the responses of. It's people who don't know you, even if you're honest in how you present yourself to them, because they don't have any kind of mutual relationship or vested interest in you as a friend.

So the possible outcomes, when you do this kind of thing, are:

Someone with a parasocial relationship to you thinks they know you as a person enough to provide the support you need, which maybe feels comforting, but likely is not actually useful in the long term coming from someone you literally don't know. It's hollow, because it isn't backed by a meaningful and mutual relationship.

Someone who feels generally invested in The Health And Safety Of People, As A Whole, sends some generalized validation. Again, this is likely comforting to some degree, but it is ultimately lacking in meaningful and knowledgeable support.

People ignore you, either because they don't see it, they don't know how to respond and are afraid of making things worse, or they don't have the time and energy to provide support to a stranger. You likely feel hurt, alone, and ignored by this.

Someone actively malicious uses your signalling or emotional vulnerability as an opportunity to be more effectively cruel and to cause more pain.

Or, the less common but still damaging outcome:

5. Someone reaches out in a genuine attempt to provide support, establishes a longer-lasting connection. Because this began as one person providing emotional support for another, it likely turns into a one-sided co-dependant relationship in which the two of you only ever talk when you need help in a time of crisis. (This likely burns them out over time, they are forced to cut things off for their own mental health, and you're left feeling even more alone than before.)

Look, I don't want to imply here that there's something wrong with being honest about how you feel, the fact that you're hurting or in crisis, etc. Emotional vulnerability is important! It's also not the same as relying on the responses you get from total strangers when you display that vulnerability. We need better, stronger, more permanent emotional support systems than that in order to survive. That's how people are built.

And there's nothing wrong with being in a position where you feel strangers are the only people you can reach out to at all. I'd still encourage anyone in that place to reach out to strangers over nobody, if it's all they have.

But that's a temporary fix. It's a band-aid. You go into it knowing there are risks, and you work to establish better long-term emotional support systems over time so you don't have to gamble your mental health on the reactions of The Public every time you need help. It's better than nothing, please use it if you don't have better options, but it's still a band-aid.

#mental health #sorry this is so dang long I just Have A Lot To Say. lmao

[hvitserkk]

Tagged by @thedoctorfalls thank you cos i love these lol and I’m tagging:

@tulipjeanohare, @lunapascal, @beebuchanan, @sassynach, @thesewickedhands, @rae-gar-targaryen, @und0miels, @allthesebeautifulmistakes, @alinaaleks, @naomisnagata, @pixelfives, @janesfoster and @oetravia

1. why did you choose your url?

it’s just from one of my fave shows, vikings. literally no other thought lol

2. any side blogs?

a lot! the ones i made/own are ethereal-themes where i have my themes, resources, etc, @barnesdaily (with @jessie-meili), @animalkingdomdaily and then blogs i'm a part of are @vikingshistory, @thewitchersdaily, @marinasdaily, @tvandfilm, @qotsgifs, @thehauntingsource and @targaryensource i’m slacking on most of them, but i made a schedule to start making content for them all again!

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

since 2011, a longgg time ago

4. do you have a queue tag?

no i don’t, i don’t really get the reason to? i may be missing something here though because i see a lot of queue tags on the dash

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

well i had a domain for my website fansite blogs and then the group of friends i had from myspace all also had domains, and we all migrated here around the same time.

6. why did you choose your icon?

because i love bridgerton, especially anthony

7. why did you choose your header?

i don’t have one! i’ve wanted one, but i’m indecisive and kept changing it and trying to match everything

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

i’m actually not sure, how can i check? but from what i can tell it’s this broad city one with a whopping 84k and then a 20k this one of a daenerys one that’s a parallel of her destroying kings landing and the dragons and people who were killed

9. how many mutuals/followers do you have?

i have a bit over 2.6k followers and idk how many mutuals, but i usually follow back any fandom type of blog that follows me

10. how many people do you follow?

i’m following 473, i mostly follow other fan blogs, resource/theme blogs and ofc fandom type of blogs. 

11. have you ever made a shitpost?

very, very rarely, it’s not that i stick to an aesthetic or anything, i’m here mostly for the friends and gifs lol

12. how often do you use tumblr?

literally everyday, one of my main jobs is to make themes so i’m here a lot and it’s super easy to hit “dash” when i’m coding to take a break and just see what’s up

13. did you have a fight/argument with another blog? who won?

i don’t think so... irl i’m petty, but like hilariously petty, but never really online because idk what the other person’s situation is so i def don’t want to contribute to anything harmful 

14. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

those posts actually make me scroll past on purpose.. unless it’s like a resource link post, those i’ll reblog if i catch them

15. do you like tag/ask games?

YES, i get so excited when people send me stuff even if it’s one of those “you’re amazing send to 10 people” lol

16. which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

idk, i can think of maybe a few, but idk lol

17. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no, i’m not really here to crush on people.. i mean i see people post selfies, but the most i’ll do is like it and think “oh they’re pretty” and that’s about it. but same as @thedoctorfalls i think i have close friends

#tag game #about me #thanks again

[princesscas]

Hi! I have a question. I haven’t been heavily involved in tumblr/social media for a while. I had stopped watching supernatural for a couple of years and just got back into it. I ship destiel, but sometimes things about wincest come up. I keep seeing things about people not wanting to “ship shame” which you just mentioned as well, and I’m just confused. How is it okay that people ship two brothers? Like they are actual brothers on the show?? I don’t care that they’re not irl. I don’t know who the N girl you’re talking about is but apparently she cares about canon, so how can she like it? And why is it wrong for people to condemn people for shipping two brothers, when that is the thing inherently wrong? Like it’s disgusting... it’s not about them being guys, it’s incest... Again, I just don’t get it and I hope I don’t come off as rude! Thank you!

Nah, you’re not rude at all! Never ever like them. I’m still upset about what happened two days ago so what the hell, tea time!

To start off, I believe that everyone can ship whatever like like as long as they aren’t sending hate to others. Take a look at this (lengthy) post about ship wars. People can ship whatever they want, end of story. Doesn’t really matter anyway because people are gonna do what they wanna do. Do I like those types of ships like you described above? No, but it’s none of my business to tell others what they can and cannot ship. Sometimes I read darkfics. That isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. Is the post/fanfic properly tagged with such elements? Then it’s fine. Start hyjacking posts/leaving nasty comments? That’s 1000% not fine and it never will be. 

Something that doesn’t get brought up enough: There is a vast difference between an ordinary w//cest shipper and a J-two-squared tinhatter who believes the said two actors are secretly gay, their wives are beards, they hate mish, everyone who doesn’t like w//cest are wrong, etc.

Now, it’s on the shipper if they start normalizing such things. (in//st, unhealthy, etc) And the rabid obsessed (N&Co) hate-everything-that-breathes crew is a prime example of this. 

This thing is already long so why not throw out some receipts, huh?  IMO, you cross that ‘ship whatever you want’ line when you do this: 

...I ship an angel and a human my dude. (and two 100 yr old super soldiers, I wonder what they think about stucky lol) also jesus christ the rest of that is a mess. 

/tw: biphobia here./ REAL bisexuals? “oh you aren’t bisexual if you like one angel and a hunter.” And they’re obsessed with calling everyone ‘teenager girls.’ This is not only wrong but also pretty damn transphobic and misogynistic. 1) Most people have aged over the years (wow that’s crazy right?) 2) trans, nonbinary, and gender fluid people exist. 

Overall, these people are a horrible bunch. They’re obsessed with preaching to people about ‘tagging properly’ when they could take it upon themselves and use a blacklisting extension. Or just block every single blog they don’t like. These people are a very small portion of the fandom but they’re loud, they want you to think they make up all of the fandom but they don’t. Not even close, when other in general posts gets thousands of notes/retweets and theirs get maybe a couple hundred. (and a lot are from reblogs for replies) 

Not gonna lie, I feel the need to defend w//cest shippers because I’ve known/have/had mutuals who do ship it and they’re nice as can be. 

The loud bunch are so loud, it silences the others who partaking in normal fandom things. Or really, if I were them, I wouldn’t want to associate myself with those people. 

Let’s pretend for a second. Imagine if you loved a ship (it could be any ship from any fandom) but the fandom is toxic as hell and the most ‘popular/well known’ blogs/artists/writers are these people. Fandom corners have history on the way they were built upon throughout the course of the fandom’s media. 

You browse the tags, the blogs, the fanfics, and find yourself staring at a hateful group of cult-like bigoted people. But wait. These people? They don’t like fanfiction or fanon. No, they hate anyone who writes anything outside of textbook canon. Any characters outside of SW/DW/JW won’t be present. (if you’re curious or are brave enough, go look at the AO3 tag, it’s sad) 

I try to be empathetic with people. I cannot, for the life of me, imagine what it’s like. To love a show so much with your favorite ship but one part dislikes it and another part are so inherently hateful.   

The OP deleted but this thread on Reddit is exactly what I’m talking about. And they mentioned something else I think not many people bring up: OT3′s. 

I’m gonna quote this but it’s 1000% true. 

“What I can't for the life of me understand though is why people would hate on Misha as an actor because of his role on the show. I've seen a lot of Misha hatred - and I mean A LOT of it. In fact, I recently went through the anti-misha tag on tumblr and blocked over 200 tumblr accounts that either were dedicated to bashing him or castiel, or posted constantly about it.”

“It's really nuts to me that people would choose to put so much time and effort into hating an actor who hasn't done anything to them personally or hasn't even affected their lives, when they could be putting good feelings into praising the actors who have affected their lives in a good way instead if you feel me.”

Constantly is the key word here. I don’t think these people ever stop, not even for one second, to sit down and say, “God this is exhausting, I think I need a break this week.” I really dislike these people but I also feel empathetic for them. What is their mental health like? It isn’t healthy. Go show a therapist this, they’d probably quit on the spot. (okay prob not but that’s my best example atm) 

This has gotten extremely long so I think I’ll stop here. There are some nice people out there who will ship things you don’t like but a toxic side can make it seem much worse than it actually is. Ironically, it’s usually the opposite. (ie: voltron’s’s toxic side scaring off other shippers of that fandom) 

Lemme end this with pre!serum smol Steve and his legendary quote: 

#i just try to be nice man #i need to go finish my fanfc instead of talking about this lol #fandom things #mandy answers anon #drama for ts #anti bibros #anti bronlies #Anonymous #tw wincest #tw incest

[pacifv]

HE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Mik      Age: 26      Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: Eden ( in bleach ) -- I have other ocs but that’s another story Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Eden... ? Current Fandom(s): Bleach , so far Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  more fantasy esque ones?  My language(s): spanish , english  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: fantasy , religious

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM since this is pretty much new . just slap me with that and if you have some ideas , better --- if not let just brainstorm with what we have in hand . 

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  some minimal idea of the context and eden’s character . some ideas if possible . more than often I have gotten people straight up jump with no clue of what even is going on in my side character wise . 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  depends , most likely really stop trying or let it sink . I’m not much of a person who would pressure for ideas when they don’t even come naturally for me in these kind of situations . 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  First of all , ask what they particularly want and if they read the bio . and of course , have their bio as well ( if oc or any relevant hc on vague canons ) . I am honestly a bit shy on the input but if I found a ground to start letting my imagination loose ( like , something in common between characters or something that clicks well with my muse ) I can suggest several things . but in any case , I’m pretty passive and it’s a lot of gives and takes . 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: depends on the thread , the time and the interest . things that go downtown in the excitement scale are :/  and I can’t blame anyone for dropping a thread . not all the time you will have muse for them , tho , if it was a relevant thread I would ask at least . - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  pretty much free to tell me or not . I’m no one to judge.

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  losing muse , interest , time ... pretty much the same . feeling like my muse is going too OOC for the sake of the other muse or smth .  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  I am very old school and having some OOC interaction to at least know how things are going , it’s as much as I can ask here .  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  I mean , I should . it can turn me off a bit but it’s just natural ? there’s no way something can be perfect or be of someone’s taste . plus I am not that smart to be fully aware of all the things around the motif and IRL information I use on my muse . I’m no book , buddy. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  development , exploring the muse , seeing what works and doesn’t work . often new blogs for me are basically prototypes , they are and will  most likely have minor or major modifications as my imagination starts working and getting excited . besides , in the basics , you can hardly manage to cover all ( if anything ) of how one’s muse would react to X situation .

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  a lot of quincy lore , come up with more personal connections with other quincies , fully develop a backstory and a post war scenario . cultural exploration  --- relationships of all kinds . 

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  pretty much I am fine with anything as long as we don’t cross the gross line . but I’m not afraid of the dark .

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: absurdly basic and with no context given . not even have an idea of what is the deal between muses . I can squeeze my brain but there is as much as i can do with little information .

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  quirky ones , conflictive ones , most likely muses with specific motifs that spark my interest -- deepness . Aesthetically interesting ones . but overall , those who have out of the normal personalities . 

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  personalities that doesn’t work or do not harmonize with the context of their characters . that’s all I can say .

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I am.... creative ? gdi I did this meme already but it’s hard to reply these two ones. I am easily excitable . if we end up in a ship , expect me to be pampering af . I really enjoy the exploration of relations between people , emotions and psychological stuff tied around it . I do like casual and also very deep things . I’m not afraid of dealing with heavy topics . I like horror ???? also I am very into the secondary character role , as in : my muse is here to help your muse to grow or insight . that stuff . not much of a protagonist role in RPs. 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: I’m .... very.... sporadic . My mood is annoying esp when I’m “new” blog around kind of thing . I’m shy , even if I don’t seem so --- I get pretty anxious over details . I am impatient --- with myself . I want to do so many things at the same time I end up overwhelmed . 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  mmmmmmmmm , both. Depends on mood and context tbh . - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  nothing I can think from the top of my head.

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  again , I’m big mood for interpersonal relationships ( romantic or not ) , the pros and cos of certain traits , ideology clash , personality clash , anything that comes in a relation that could make it come and go .  - What is your smut tag?: unholy.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: all are hella okay for me . pre- est is my jam bc jesus christ the awkward first encounters make me go blue screen .

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  the fact she is basically a “religious fanatic” , with a quirky personality and a questionable morality , considering she has an inner conflict between the wellness of her race and her loyalty towards yhwach . At least pre war . post war , she has a flipped personality were she is mostly bitter and more angsty but will go from fanatic to straight up hater . 

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   bland personalities ? not sure myself , Eden is pretty much ready for anything since her personality is pretty laid back . I guess I would say shinigamis in general --- since she basically is stuck inside Silbern . - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  Quincies , ofc . and people who are willing to put up with her crap .

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  the prosperity of the quincy , doing a proper duty , order , tea , annoying the fuck out of people . being eerie ....  - What do they desire, is their goal?:  the ideal world as thought by Yhwach --- later on simply for her kind to survive after losing the war and being left to their luck . - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  mmm , appearance  and reactions to her witty or narcisistic comments .  - What do they value in a person?:    loyalty , uniqueness . - What themes do they like talking about?:  most likely about the order of the army , tea stuff , herself (?) , but she is also a lot for debates and insight . - Which themes bore them?:  rebellious , silly thoughts . justice related topics . anything that critics her loyalty/life style . 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  the first war was enough ? most likely losing comrades --- yhwach sacrificing the quincy for power later on .  - What could possibly trigger them?:  the simple sight of anyone laying a finger of the quincy for being against their views .   - What could set them off, enrage them?:  nothing. she cannot literally , physically get angry or enraged . but if we are talking bitter , that would be completely post war and it’s just the mention of yhwach’s name or those who went to god’s palace with him .  - What could lead to an instant kill?:  invasion of silbern , chaos . 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  chaos , rebels , shinigami , anyone against the quincy . - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   her race , her pride , herself .

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  just .... come to her and say hi . she is literally wandering around silbern all the time ( quincy speaking tho ) . for others , eh ... good luck . and wait post war (?) - Where are they usually to find?:  Silbern ... then Siberia . 

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  She is no saint , clearly . She has a questionable sense of things like loyalty and preservation of her race . she is honestly all over the place

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  honestly stole from @skyvar​  Tagging:  no one in particular.

#🇮🇳🇹🇪🇷🇦🇨🇹🇮🇴🇳🇸 | 🇺🇳🇭🇴🇱🇾 | memes. #mik talks