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spring-emerald · 4 years

Text

monogram (2/4)

Part 1 here.

Please take note of the updated chapter count. :)

Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi / Moniwa Kaname

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5 years ago

His phone has been ringing, interspersed with occasional beeping for the better half of the day, only greedily accumulating the messages and calls but never answering, never returning it. It pains Moniwa to keep ignoring it, but he knows who’s on the other side of the line and he can’t talk to Ushijima yet. He doesn’t think he can take it, not when Moniwa is still figuratively bleeding from the wound Ushijima inadvertently caused with his blunt statement that morning.

He’s going to ask Moniwa if he’s alright, worried about him and Moniwa can’t trust himself that he won’t break down as he attempt to lie, so he doesn’t risk it. Sniffing, he takes his pillow and squeezes it over his head, coverring his ears to muffle the sound of his phone, while quietly willing it to stop. He doesn’t know how long he stayed like that, until eventually, it does.

He breathes easier then, when it stays quiet, and he begins to gain clarity. It’s not Ushijima’s fault, Moniwa reasons. He doesn’t know.

Honestly, Moniwa isn’t completely sure either that Ushijima really is his soul mate. It could be anyone that has the initials W and U -the completely noticeable black and bold letters spanning whole of his palms. They need to confirm it directly. They need to touch hands, touch marks, and if it burns, then it’s all the sign they need.

But they can’t do that, can they? He can’t ask Ushijima now.

Moniwa laughs wetly, leaving his pillow refuge to sit upright in his bed. Perhaps he’s being foolish. They didn’t even reveal the initials of Ushijima’s soul mate, so who’s to say he has Moniwa’s initials? He probably has a different set of initials after all. So really, it’s pointless to get hurt over something unsure. It’s foolish and stupid and unbecoming and…

And it hurts, his heart smarts, constricting in his chest, blurry eyes looking down on the damned initials on his hands, as fresh tears fall on it. He doesn’t need any physical confirmation. He knows, in an inexplicable way that it’s Ushijima. Even before the marks, he’s already been drawn to Ushijima, attracted to Ushijima, wished with all his being that it’s Ushijima.

Strong, stubborn Ushijima, who he admires and wholeheartedly supports, who would reach greater heights and gain greater achievements.

Simple, steadfast Ushijima, who deserves the best, who doesn’t need -doesn’t want a soul mate.

Where do unwanted soul mates go? Moniwa wonders before he comes to a decision.

-----

Ushijima flops down on his bed, holding his phone above him, thumb hesitantly hovering over the call button, eyebrows stitched together in a worried frown. He wants to call Moniwa again, maybe he’ll answer this time and make sure he’s alright. But it’s also already late and he’d hate to disturb him if he’s already sleeping.

In the end he exits his contacts, promptly locks his phone and puts it on the bedside table with a sigh.

Today had been eventful, to say the least. And he’d been looking forward to tell Moniwa about it –the announcement, his soul mark, the way the assistant coach gently admonished him after the press conference about saying what he said about it. He still doesn’t think that it’s big of a deal, though he’d realized that he may have been a bit cruel and completely careless with his words.

It would’ve been nice to talk to Moniwa about it, and maybe he can help him make sense of the sudden, unexplainable loss he is feeling.

-----

Present Time

Moniwa ran on autopilot and fixed the car as robotically and efficiently as possible, still reeling over the unexpected reunion. He doesn’t remember the things he’d said while tinkering with the machinery, and has vague recollection of the stiff bow and curt goodbye he’d given Ushijima and his kind driver. He doesn’t know how he made it back to the shop, considering the condition he’d been in, and just realizes with a jolt that he’s already there.

He quickly hides himself between the cars parked in the shop’s garage to give himself a sliver of privacy to process what just happened.

He’d fantasized how he’d wanted their reunion to happen, way too many times over the last couple of years. In different scenarios too, mostly serendipitous ones like a chance encounter in a café or bumping to each other while doing their morning run. Some have Moniwa seek him out, purposefully meets him like watching an exhibition game and approaching him after to ask for an autograph, or reach out to him through their disrupted but not forgotten contact, and many more other scenarios, differing in minute details, but all having a common denominator of Moniwa being in a point of his life where he’s finally prepared to meet Ushijima again.

And not the bumbling reality of him being in his dirty jumpsuit, smelling of grease and smoke and sweat; not him shutting down completely in panic and unable to make even a pathetic attempt at small talk. And being not (yet) the best version of himself that he can present to Ushijima, one that he can hopefully consider as a soulmate.

Moniwa takes a deep breath and clenches his gloved hands into a tight fist repeatedly, a thing that he does to ground himself. It’s alright. It’s only once. It’s not like he’s going to see and meet Ushijima again in the near future that soon, because he’s probably busy, like Moniwa is. Busier perhaps, because he’s a pro-athlete now and his schedule is possibly packed full of training and practices and other things that a person of his caliber does.

What happened earlier was sudden and unexpected, but it’s going to be the only time. With this thought, Moniwa calms himself enough to spend the rest of his work time and the remainder of his day in relative ease.

---

So… it seems like he can’t stop seeing Ushijima everywhere.

It’s like his chance encounter scenarios are being brought to life, his wildest fantasies coming true but in the worst possible way and in the form of a poorly written sketch. Only, it consists of him turning tail as soon as he sees the back of Ushijima’s head checking the fresh produce of his go-to fruit vendor, or hiding behind walls and in-between dark alleys when he catches glimpse of Ushijima coming from the other direction while he’s jogging.

What takes the cake though, is that Ushijima visited the shop where he works at. He found the address, went there and looked for him.

He’s coming back from his break and spies a familiar back and quickly ducks behind a nearby dumpster. He glares and curses softly at the sky, at the gods, at the fates or whoever, whatever was responsible for this, crinkling his nose at the smell but willfully ignores it as he finds himself hiding from Ushijima, again.

What is he doing here? How did he find he even find this place? Moniwa recalls handing a card to the old driver and curses his autopilot self for that. Okay, so that explains how Ushijima found out about this place.

Now, the million yen question is why is he here?

He jumps when his phone vibrated and he fishes it out from one of his jumpsuit pockets and takes the call from one of his co-workers.

“Oi, Moniwa-kun,” Sakae-san greets in a gruff voice. “Ya done wit yer break yet?”

“A-Almost done, Sakae-san. Uhm, why?”

“Well, ya better hurry. Someone’s here lookin’ for ya.”

Moniwa gulps. “A customer?”

“Nah. Don’t think he is. Just asked for ya.” There’s some rustling from the other side of the line and Moniwa takes a peak to see what’s going on. He didn’t need his phone to hear that Sakae-san asked for Ushijima’s name, it was loud enough to be heard from across the street.

“Said his name’s Ushijima. D’ya know him?”

From what Moniwa can see from his vantage point, Sakae-san is already doing his ‘gangster’ posturing on Ushijima. Puffed chest and squared shoulders. Moniwa can’t see it clearly but he can tell that Sakae-san’s giving Ushijima a once over with that intimidating frown of his meant to scare away any lesser men.

Ushijima isn’t a lesser man, just a confused and unperturbed one, but Moniwa hates to think what might happen to him if Sakae-san deems him dangerous or perceives him as arrogant.

Against his better judgment he hurriedly says “Y-Yeah. I know him, Sakae-san.”

“Huh,” is all Sakae-san says before he continues. “Well, come back here soon then.” Then, the line goes off.

Moniwa leans back on the wall, cringing at himself for making that stupid decision to tell the truth. He wonders how long he can stall, thinks about making up some excuse of not being able to return, but Sakae-san would be suspicious and he still has a car to fix and ugh. Dammit, what’s he going to do?

A stray cat makes the decision for him, when it jumps out of the dumpster, scaring Moniwa making him jump in return. And oh god, he’s starting to smell like it and he can’t have that, ugh. He takes another peak at the shop across the street before looking down on his gloved hands, fingers pressing hard on covered palms.

It’s okay, he tells himself. It’s hidden. If he can’t see it, no one can.

---

“There he is,” Sakae-san drawls upon seeing him approach. Ushijima quickly turns around to look at him and Moniwa’s confident steps faltered a little. He stops a few away from Ushijma.

“Thank you, Sakae-san. I’ll take it from here,” he says with a nod of his head, and the old mechanic waves a dismissing hand before he leaves them alone.

“Moniwa,” he says with a small smile, eyes alight with happiness Moniwa hadn’t seen in a while.

“Ushijima-san. Is there something wrong with the car? Does it need fixing again?”

Ushijima’s smile gives way to a light frown. “Uh, no,” he says with shake of his head. “The car is good. You fixed it well.”

“Oh. What are you doing here then?” Moniwa’s not used to being distant, cold, that as soon as the words came out of his mouth, the beginnings of guilt stirs in his gut. It was made even worse when Ushijima clearly hadn’t expected the treatment, what with the wide eyed, sort of betrayed expression that passed over his face.

“I…I came to see you,” Ushijima answers truthfully. “Maybe, we can talk?”

Moniwa feels his heart softening at the bashful display, but… “I’m sorry, Ushijima-san, but I’m-” he thumbs at the cars behind him, “-busy. I mean, there’s a car that I have to fix and I need to finish it today so I can’t uhm, talk.” He scratches the back of his neck while Ushijima nods at him.

“Of course. You’re right. I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

“It’s alright.”

It’s clear from Ushijima’s body language that he doesn’t want to leave yet, but he bows at Moniwa all the same and eventually walks away. Moniwa can’t help but think that Ushijima’s broad back looks sad like that while watching him walk away and it tugs hard at his heart. He bites down on his lips and huffs.

“Ushijima-san!” He calls out, and it must just be Moniwa’s imagination but Ushijima quickly turns around and is striding back towards him.

“Yes?” Did Ushijima really have to look so hopeful? Moniwa shakes his head, dispelling the thought.

“I get off at five. I mean, if you’re free then maybe we can meet later, after…?”

Ushijima smiles wide this time making Moniwa’s heart catch a little. “I’ll be here then.”

Moniwa exhales as he smiles, hoping it doesn’t look forced as it feels on his face and nods.

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To be continued

#haikyuu!!#ushimoni #ushijima wakatoshi #moniwa kaname #hq fanfic

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