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monstercupcake61176 · 5 years

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Okay this was written for an angst prompt from @elytra-galaxy who requested Sleepceit with the prompt “I love you, not them.”

I guess it was too long or something because it wouldn’t let me post it along with the ask, so here it is now.

Also, I’ve never written for this ship before, and I hardly ever write for Sleep. So hopefully I didn’t mess anything up.

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Sides and Functions.

One group dealt with personality, determining how a person would behave and act.

The other dealt with, less complicated things. While no two people had the exact same personality, everyone could relate to feeling Hunger and everyone had a Brain.

And everyone, at one point or another, needed Sleep.

Sleep was, at his core, the one responsible for the amount of rest his host received. It was a job that the other Functions held in a rather high regard. All of them knew that they would benefit from a good night’s rest, and in the beginning, trusted that Sleep would ensure they received such vital rest.

Oh how wrong they all were…

Sleep was lazy, unreliable, and at times, downright disrespectful to their host. He was one of the few that actually “hung out” with the host on a regular basis and the interactions between the two were (while amusing) not the best for the host.

Sleep was nothing like the other Functions. He seemed to take pleasure in causing as much mischief as possible. Whether it was not allowing the host to rest when he wanted, or refusing to let him get up in the morning when it was long past time for him to be awake.

Another thing that he was in control of was dreams, which he used mostly for his own amusement.

No one understood him, no one really liked him.

It got to the point where the Functions went to the Sides for help. Normally, the two groups didn’t interact. Besides Logic and Brain, who made sure things were running smoothly for the host. It was Brain that ended up bringing the issues with Sleep up to Logic, who had promised he’d look into it.

All Sides were aware of Sleep’s odd behavior, but none of them really knew how to deal with him. Sleep and Anxiety were currently not on speaking terms after a misunderstanding that had happened a while back involving the Side being caught in the host’s bed.

When Creativity tried to talk to him about the dreams, he’d just ended up being flirted with to the point that he’d run back to the others in a flustered mess.

Morality had attempted to give him a kind lecture about the importance of responsibility, but not even halfway through the lecture Sleep had fallen asleep.

Logic himself had gone to the host in hopes that he’d be able to get Sleep in control, but sadly, Thomas could be a bit of a pushover and that plan fell flat on its face.

Which was why, Deceit was now being sent in as a last resort. He didn’t really have a reason for wanting to help, and if he was being honest (shocking, I know) he didn’t really want to help.

The Side sighed as he made his way to the side of the mind where the Functions resided. It didn’t take him long to find Sleep, who was leaning back lazily against a wall sipping his imaginary Starbucks.

“Sleep.” Deceit’s voice was stern. His eyes narrowed.

“Yeah gurl?” Sleep glanced over, peering at him from behind his sunglasses.

“We need to talk.” Deceit got closer. “About…?” Sleep drawled.

Both stared at each other, faces indifferent.

That was, until Deceit suddenly pulled Sleep against him and into a kiss. The Function quickly pulled away, laughing gleefully. “Oh Dee Dee~ You just can’t resist can you?”

“How can I when you’re so perfect?” Deceit grinned.

“Well, could you be careful next time? You almost made me spill my coffee.” Sleep smiled and took a drink. “So, what did you need to talk to me about?” “I’ve come on behalf of my fellow Sides who have some, concerns, regarding how you do your job.”

“Uh uh. No thank you ma’am. No. Thank. You.” Sleep waved his hand dismissively. “Pops already lectured me enough.” “Well, they wouldn’t leave me alone unless I went and talked to you about this. So here I am.”

“Oh fiiinnneee…” He took another drink. “Make it quick, babe.”

“In short, Thomas’ current sleep schedule is not ideal. He isn’t getting nearly enough and it’s affecting his work.”

Sleep stirred his coffee around with his straw. “Sooo… What do you want me to do about it?”

“Perhaps work with Logic on creating a proper sleeping pattern? I know Brain would appreciate it, as would everyone else.”

“Okay, hun, that sounds great. Except for like, everything involving schedules or patterns. I don’t work like that.”

Deceit sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sleep, I love you, but sometimes, you have to make sacrifices for others. In this case, for Thomas.”

Sleep hummed and downed the rest of his coffee. “Dee Dee, sweety, can I be real with you?”

“Of course, I’m not sure why you’re asking.”

“Well, honey, the truth is, I don’t really care.” He tossed the empty cup away.

“What do you mean?” Deceit frowned.

“I don’t really care about the other Functions, they’re all bunch of killjoys. As for the host, well, he kinda just has to go with my flow if you know what I’m saying.”

“Sleep, I feel about the same way about the other Sides. The only reason I’m here is to get them off my back and to see you. However, I also know that if we all don’t work together, things will fall apart and everyone will be hurt. Including you.”

“Uh huh, why do you care?” Sleep leaned against the wall again, crossing his arms. Deceit was taken aback. “Why do I care?! Because I love you! I don’t want you hurt!”

Sleep sighed and took off his sunglasses so he could rub his eyes. “I know that honesty isn’t really your cup of tea, but, I need to spill a rather cold cup on you.”

“What are you talking about?” Deceit got an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

“Tell me, do you think the Functions went to you for help because they’re concerned with the host? Because they want to make sure he’s safe and well?”

Deceit said nothing, allowing Sleep to continue.

“Functions only care about one thing: Keeping the host functioning. We don’t establish emotional bonds with the host. Heck, we don’t even call him by his name because why should we? Now, Sides, you guys are all about feelings and actually caring. You want the host to be healthy and that’s great, but you all take it one step further and befriend him.”

“What is your point, Sleep?” Deceit inspected his nails, feigning disinterest.

“My point is: I’m breaking up with you.”

Deceit froze. For a moment he didn’t react. He barely moved.

Sleep sighed. “Look, Deceit, it was fun. I enjoyed our time together. But, I’m sorry. I can’t love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

Deceit trembled and shook his head. Finally finding his voice. “Sleep… Why are you doing this?”

“I tried. I thought I could make this worse, but I couldn’t. It’s just not in my nature to love. All I’m meant to do is make the host sleep. And I’m not even good at that.”

“You could be!” Deceit insisted. “I’ll help you, we can make things better.”

“Girl, I don’t know what I’m doing. I know I have a job, but I’ve got zero clue on how to do it. So I just, stopped caring.�� He shrugged and summoned another coffee. “As for you and I, trust me when I say you can do so much better. With a Side.”

“I love you! Not them!” Deceit felt tears sting his eyes, but he wouldn’t cry. “You’re the only one who doesn’t judge me for who I am, for what I represent. You fell in love with me.”

“That’s the thing, babe.” Sleep returned his sunglasses to his face. “I fell in love with the idea of you. Well, not really, because I can’t actually love. But I liked to entertain the idea of being able to do so.”

Deceit felt his heart shattering. This wasn’t happening, he should have been able to sense if Sleep’s love was false. Unless, he’d been too blind to see it…

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have led you on like this. But, I can’t change what I am.” Sleep took a sip of his coffee. “But, you have a choice. You don’t have to be a prisoner to your function.” He walked up to Deceit and gently lifted his chin. “And you’ll find someone better than me.”

“Sleep…” He wanted to beg him to stay, but the words died on his tongue.

“Later, Dee.” Sleep stepped back and walked away. Leaving Deceit alone to watch him disappear from sight.

Alone, with nothing left but a broken heart….

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dibidibidismol · 5 years

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do em all, coward

on the one hand: yay! i get to do the ask game! on the other; @acutest-angle, i’m so sorry for doing this to you. i aint gonna fill nobody’s dash, so the qna is under the break. these are like really undetailed. ill be more specific for individual numbers

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? im pretty happy being 163

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) i love my lil baby so much. i wouldnt trade my pupper for the world

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? i wear a lot of black, and generally dress such that i would be good to go for any job interviews/public speaking events. this is in large part to make up for the fact that my go-to shoes are heelys. like i wear my heelys during professional presentations that count for a large part of my grade. my teachers think im “something else”

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? idk. we didnt do all that media shiz. maybe pvz.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: my doggo, my child(useless friend needing guidance) and my tumblr-famous friend. hmu for her url. 6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?absolute weirdo, but like in a socially acceptable way. can and will debate you into submission.7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?i support gays.8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

9: Are you ticklish?a bit10: Are you allergic to anything?some cats, all homophobes11: What’s your sexuality?ace, homoromo12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?tea babe. like i have so much. like a cubic yard. its a problem.13: Are you a cat or dog person?im multifandom(not a furry)14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?elf15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?amber liu16: How tall are you?160cm17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?my chinese name18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]102-105 i’m smol.19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?normally no. when im home alone….a lil.20: Do you like space or the ocean more? i have a large fear of the ocean. 21: Are you religious? no22: Pet peeves?poor work ethics/mansplaining/poor hygiene.23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?diurnal24: Favorite constellation?orions belt25: Favorite star?shinee26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?not particularly27: Any phobias or fears?germs, the dark, men, large non-pools bodies of water, spiders28: Do you think global warming is real? yea, but “climate change” is more accurate29: Do you believe in reincarnation?no30: Favorite movie?tangled, the lorax, shawshank redemp. , hairspray, legally blond, mulan, mama mia, in that order.31: Do you get scared easily? yea32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?3 fish 3 dog33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] im gunna rate @acutest-angle cuz she did mine. 10/10 would be 11 but she aint stannin shinee.34: What is a color that calms you? purple35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? oregon suits me fine36: Where were you born? oregon37: What is your eye color?brown38: Introvert or extrovert?idek. im really good at people, but idk abt energy gaining or wtv.39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?no40: Hugs or kisses?hugs41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?my doggo.42: Who is someone you love deeply? see above43: Any piercings you want? i already have doubles. might get belly button in the future.44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? hnngg45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? hell no. i take drugs/alcohol v seriously.46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! gorl. so beautiful, so smart, so utterly perfect. also taken.47: What is a sound you really hate? the whit boi in class mansplaining shit to me.48: A sound you really love? pitter pat of paws on hardwood.49: Can you do a backflip? no.50: Can you do the splits? no51: Favorite actor and/or actress?idkrn52: Favorite movie? see 3053: How are you feeling right now?tee hee54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? i really like my hair as is.55: When did you feel happiest? talking in front of many peeps.56: Something that calms you down?tea57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] none diagnosed. ask me about my brain later for more deets. 58: What does your URL mean?that i smol and i luv shinee59: What three words describe you the most? witty, caring,quick.60: Do you believe in evolution?yes61: What makes you unfollow a blog?too many posts/mediocre content/no longer aligned interests.62: What makes you follow a blog? posts63: Favorite kind of person:girl64: Favorite animal(s):dogs/cats65: Name three of your favorite blogs. @lolfunnykpop @acutest-angle @27-umbrellas66: Favorite emoticon: thumbs up67: Favorite meme: ive connected the dots68: What is your MBTI personality type?pic69: What is your star sign?my wut?70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?yes71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?its black, its formalish, its a pushup bra, dress, and heelys.72: Post a selfie or two?i like dont have any, and im in no statye to be taking them rn.

73: Do you have platform shoes?no?

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?i forgot a wholeass language75: Can you do a front flip?no76: Do you like birds?y77: Do you like to swim?ew78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?no79: Something you wish didn’t exist:homophobia80: Some thing you wish did exist:universal translators81: Piercings you have?double in each ear82: Something you really enjoy doing:read83: Favorite person to talk to:dog84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?no rules here.85: How many followers do you have?all together, a thousand or two?86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? idk87: Do your socks always match?no88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?ill cry89: What are your birthstones? the lite blu one90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?i aint no furry.91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?a rose92: A store you hate? chick fil a93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? i got addicted, so ive been coffee free for 3 yrs now94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? fly95: Do you like to wear camo? no96: Winter or summer?winter97: How long can you hold your breath for?40sec98: Least favorite person?trump99: Someone you look up to:amber liu100: A store you love?office depot101: Favorite type of shoes? heelys102: Where do you live? oregon103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?vegetarian, environment/animal right, eggs for health.104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? sparkle105: Do you drink milk? yea, calcium.106: Do you like bugs?i respect their existence but stay tf away107: Do you like spiders? no108: Something you get paranoid about?spiders, water, germs109: Can you draw: sure110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?do you shave ur vag?111: A question you hate being asked?whos ur boy friend?112: Ever been bitten by a spider?no113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?yea, from a distance114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?sunny, from a distance115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: doggo116: Favorite cloud type:cotton candy?117: What color do you wish the sky was?this is fine118: Do you have freckles? like two.119: Favorite thing about a person:personality120: Fruits or vegetables?fruit121: Something you want to do right now:crochet122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?sky123: Sweet or sour foods?sweet124: Bright or dim lights?dim, i have oddball vision issues.125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?love126: Something you hate about Tumblr:no dates on anything/ALL THE FREAKING PORNBOTS THAT ARE STILL FOLLOWING ME REGULARLY127: Something you love about Tumblr:shitposts128: What do you think about the least?i feel like this is a paradox129: What would you want written on your tombstone?list of my achievements in life(born:xxxx died:xxxx)130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?ice131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?how my brain occasionally forgets to filter132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?sometimes133: Computer or TV?computer134: Do you like roller coasters?ew, all that sweat and vomit baked into the seats.135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?no136: Are your ears lobed or attached?lobed137: Do you believe in karma?idk, i like to be nice but secretly with passive aggressive motives.138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?7139: What nicknames do you have/have had?dictionary, lee, tumblr girl, dibi, mom, my child, heely girl (i have a reputation at school)140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?yea, i dont remember them, but apparently i invented myself a butler.141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?way back in the day142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?good143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?giving144: What makes you angryamerica145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 1146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? girls147: Are you androgynous? no148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: figure/hair149: Favorite thing about your personality: i think im funny150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. my friend’s mom/my coach, my rolemodel/friend, my past self.151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? all the eras sucked for people like myself152: Do you like BuzzFeed?love/hate153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]sexy free and single154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? o yeah155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?yessss156: What embarrasses you?my mouth157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:the internment camps158: Biggest lie you have ever told:so many159: How many people are you following?153160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?10000+161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?1000+162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?how do i find this?163: Last time you cried and why: today. latest superstore episode.164: Do you have long or short hair?long165: Longest your hair has ever been:2.5 ft166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?like the community it provides, dislike a lot of values taught, dislike the exclusivity, dislike the way religion is treated as a default. 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? only in regards to what we can do to save it.168: Do you like to wear makeup?i like sparkly eyeshadow n mascara. but dont wear regularly.169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? no170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? yea sure.

#about me #ask game #dibi speaks

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eversage · 7 years

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I dare you to answer all 170 questions luv youuuu

FUCK YOU I SHALL

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I wanna be 6'1  2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) A FUCKING GRIFFIN, but real talk a hedgehog or a Newfoundland dog will suffice  3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? Gay witch TM 4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Idkkkk  5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: Alec, Sky, my art/how stressed I am about my art 6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Oh god this is a meme from forever ago. But uh idk probably "really gay messy artist" 7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? Bleh  8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] fuck if I know? 9: Are you ticklish? Nope 10: Are you allergic to anything? Histamine, go look it up. Now cry for me. Now go look up high histamine food now cry for me. Now go look up how stress, heat, and hormones can all increase histamine in the system. Also dustmightd. 11: What’s your sexuality? Grey-Gay-Asexual-Aromantic  12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? I'm basically allergic to all three but cocoa  13: Are you a cat or dog person? Both 14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Merperson 15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? Dan and Phil 16: How tall are you? 5'8 ish 17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Uhhhhh Oliver? I think  18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] 198 LBS 19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? yes 20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Yes 21: Are you religious? Yes  22: Pet peeves? Idk  23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Diurnal 24: Favorite constellation? Ursa Major 25: Favorite star? Idk the sun 26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? Yes but I'm brokkeeee 27: Any phobias or fears? Fuck idk  28: Do you think global warming is real? Yes 29: Do you believe in reincarnation? Yes 30: Favorite movie? Fuck if I know?  31: Do you get scared easily? Nah 32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? 10 33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] 34: What is a color that calms you? Pastel 35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Philadelphia? Indiana because babe? 36: Where were you born? Mexico 37: What is your eye color? Brown with rings of blue 38: Introvert or extrovert? I'm so introverted 39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? Yes 40: Hugs or kisses? Kisses 41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? Alec 42: Who is someone you love deeply? Alec 43: Any piercings you want? Septum 44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? Yes 45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? No 46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! He's a babe, he sleep talks, needs a hair cut and is a fucking idiot but he's mine 47: What is a sound you really hate? Machinery in horror films 48: A sound you really love? Alec's voice 49: Can you do a backflip? Used to  50: Can you do the splits? Used to  51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Fuck if I know  52: Favorite movie? Fuck if I know didn't I already answer this? 53: How are you feeling right now? Headachy but good 54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? Pastel pink  55: When did you feel happiest? Fuck if I know  56: Something that calms you down? Age regressing 57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] hahaha depression, anxiety, ed, passive suicidal tendencies, psychosis, sensory processing disorder, probably some learning issues. Kinda duck if I know. 58: What does your URL mean? My blog is about my voice  59: What three words describe you the most? Powerful, witch, gay. 60: Do you believe in evolution? No. 61: What makes you unfollow a blog? NSFW, any sort of hate/phobia (like homophobia transphobia and such), being thinspo/Mia/Ana, or anti age regression 62: What makes you follow a blog? Aesthetic, kind, funny 63: Favorite kind of person: idk 64: Favorite animal(s): polar bear  65: Name three of your favorite blogs.  66: Favorite emoticon: 🖕🏻 67: Favorite meme: fuck if I know 68: What is your MBTI personality type? Idk  69: What is your star sign? Taurus 70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No 71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? My Harry otter shirt, red sweater and whatever pants 72: Post a selfie or two? 73: Do you have platform shoes? Nope 74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? Idk 75: Can you do a front flip? Yes 76: Do you like birds? Yes 77: Do you like to swim? Yes 78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Swimming I've sprained my wrist three times skating 79: Something you wish didn’t exist: hate  80: Some thing you wish did exist: equality 81: Piercings you have? Just my ears  82: Something you really enjoy doing: art  83: Favorite person to talk to:  Alec, Sky, jordan, Kerry 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? Idk  85: How many followers do you have? 198 86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? Idk if I tried probably  87: Do your socks always match? Pfffttt you think I have the energy to find socks  88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? Barely, I have short hamstrings always have 89: What are your birthstones? Emerald 90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? A polar bear probably  91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Idk  92: A store you hate? Walmart  93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? None because caffeine=anxiety  94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Fly 95: Do you like to wear camo? No 96: Winter or summer? Winter 97: How long can you hold your breath for? Idk a whole 98: Least favorite person? Idk trump probably 99: Someone you look up to:  Sky100: A store you love? Idk blick  101: Favorite type of shoes, keds probably 102: Where do you live? Oregon  103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Nope can't be  104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Uggghhh probably blue goldstone 105: Do you drink milk? Yes but not as much as I'd like because it makes me sick 106: Do you like bugs? Depends  107: Do you like spiders? Depends  108: Something you get paranoid about? Idk  109: Can you draw: yes  110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? Iddkkk 111: A question you hate being asked? Idkkkk  112: Ever been bitten by a spider? Probably  113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Yes  114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Depends 115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: alec  116: Favorite cloud type: idk  117: What color do you wish the sky was? I like it  118: Do you have freckles? Yes  119: Favorite thing about a person: idk probably smile and laugh and voice 120: Fruits or vegetables? Fruit 121: Something you want to do right now: see alec  122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Idk  123: Sweet or sour foods? Sour 124: Bright or dim lights? Depends 125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? Yes  126: Something you hate about Tumblr: discourse 127: Something you love about Tumblr: community 128: What do you think about the least? What?  129: What would you want written on your tombstone? Gay and changed the world  130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Sam...  131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? My weight 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? Yes. 133: Computer or TV? Computer 134: Do you like roller coasters? Fuck yeah 135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? Vaguely  136: Are your ears lobed or attached? Lobed 137: Do you believe in karma? Yes  138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? I'm like a 95 139: What nicknames do you have/have had? Hayge, hayhay, denden, snow (please don't use that) 140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? Yes  141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? She was shitty  142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Good 143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Giving 144: What makes you angry. Not a lot  145: How many languages do you speak fluently? Sadly one vaguely three 146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? Boys 147: Are you androgynous? Yeah  148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: my eyes/smile  149: Favorite thing about your personality: fucj if I know  150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. Alec, ren, Sky,  151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? Greece probably  152: Do you like BuzzFeed? Vaguely  153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] got set up!  154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? Fuck yeah  155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? Yes 156: What embarrasses you? Idk  157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: being told "I need to talk to you" with no context 158: Biggest lie you have ever told: fuck if i know  159: How many people are you following? Like 1000 160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? Idk  161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? Idk  162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? Idk  163: Last time you cried and why: uhhh cause I wanna move out  164: Do you have long or short hair? Short  165: Longest your hair has ever been: ass length  166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? It's a part of who I am  167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Yes  168: Do you like to wear makeup? Yes 169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? Idk  170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? Yeah

#ask game #ask box #Hayden answers

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karanrazdan · 7 years

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‘ I cant do this’.

She forcefully released herself from Saurabh’s embrace because she suddenly felt repulsed at his hand travelling in to her blouse, trying to unhook her bra. Saurabh was taken aback. They had rented a cottage for an entire afternoon, they had kissed passionately and when he had just about started to get intimate, what had gone wrong? But inspite her pulling away he brought a charming smile to his face and said,

‘Hey baby. What are you afraid of ? You love me, dont you’ ?

But Smita felt as if she was looking at a complete stranger.

‘ I said i cant do this. Lets please leave. ‘ she said hurriedly.

He thought that until a few minutes back she was meekly following his every command like a lamb. How could she suddenly break free of his spell ? The disarming smile on his lips was replaced by a frown and the thinning of his lips in anger, which made him look cruel. He asked her in an accusatory tone,

‘ What’s your problem all of a sudden ? You came here of your own free will. You knew what was going to follow. You are not a child or some babe in the woods. You are a married woman. So why suddenly behave like a virgin’? ‘

‘ How many women have you brought here ‘?

‘ What kind of a question is that’? ‘

‘ I saw how friendly you were with the guy who manages these cottages.’

‘ Did i ask you about your past, about your husband? Did i ever ask you if i was the first man in your life after marriage or was i the fifth or the tenth ‘?

‘ I have never strayed in my marriage’, she screamed. ‘ i never wanted to stray. I had accepted my loveless life and was willing to periodically escape in to my dream world and live out my fantasies of being loved by an imaginary man; because that did not threaten the status quo of my marriage. All this..until i saw you feeding your daughter Riya in the cafeteria at the mall. Taking care of her, getting ordered around by that little girl. Your vulnerability attracted me. I felt drawn towards a father and a man who looked like the embodiment of love. And my heart felt drawn towards you because it has been screaming for love for many births, or so i think. ‘ She sighed and then said in a resigned tone, ‘ But my search for love led me to this shady cottage in the end. I have seen enough men lusting for me in my life; i did not want to see one more. I ignored many a lustful looks but in this case i could not ignore it because i was in love with the man. I decided to give in to his lust… but i couldn’t.’

‘ Oh please don’t surrender your body to this lustful man. No need to feel like a sacrificial lamb.’ Saurabh said sarcastically. Then after a pause he continued in the same tone, ‘ I am sorry i came across as an embodiment of love but the truth is that i am like any other normal man. I have my desires and i am not ashamed of them, unlike you. We are grown ups, in our late twenties or early thirties and not teenagers any more to create a big fuss about making love.’

Smita countered, ‘ Love ? No. This isn’t making love. This is what i have experienced with my husband from day one of my marriage. He does not love me. And i think.. nor do you. By the way who decides at what age we should stop seeking love ? I may be in my late twenties but i can tell you right away that i want to be loved even as i am breathing my last.’ She again sighed and shrugged her shoulders lightly. ‘ Anyway..you are entitled to have your opinion about love and life, but so am I. I am sorry i spoilt your afternoon. But you are a good looking man and i am sure there is no dearth of good looking women in your life, not to forget that you also have a pretty wife, who is now travelling but will soon be back.’

‘ Can you please stop?’ he said irritatedly.

Smita nodded, ‘ Yes i can. I think i haven’t spoken so much for many years. Have lived most of my life in monosyllables. I got carried away and it must be too much for you. I will take your leave. I wish you the best in life and do give my love to Riya. She acts like a little devil sometimes but she is an angel at heart. I hope..’

‘ Please can you just leave? ‘ he cut her short mid-sentence.

Smita smiled, ‘ I will. ‘ Her shoulders drooped as she felt his humiliating tone tear in to her fragile being. With head bowed down she quietly went to the cottage door,unlocked it and left, gently closing the door behind her. Saurabh fumed at being left alone in the cottage. He banged his fist in to the wall, hurting himself in the bargain, but his feeling of humiliation at being rejected by Smita was far greater than the physical pain.

Smita on the other hand passed the reception The guy behind the desk was leering at her. A suggestive smile on his lips seemed to say, ‘ You had a good time baby, didn’t you ? And all this illegally and immorally. With someone who is not your husband. ‘

She died a few deaths while walking out of the cottage complex. She thought, ‘Couples must be coming and leaving together and the sight of a lone woman leaving must be a rare sight for the lecherous guy at the reception. After all couples come here with one purpose in mind and he seems to enjoy that.’

She exited the gate of the complex and slowed down. Her breathing was laboured and in spite of the beautiful sun hanging over the sea, she felt a darkness enveloping her soul. After all her dream had ended in disillusionment and now she was making her way back to the same old life which was devoid of love; leading it made her feel soul-less. She wasn’t aware but tears began to roll down her eyes. Her emotional body had suddenly come alive and the wounds of past and the present suddenly began to fester. *******

Many days had passed since Smita’s unpleasant break up with Saurabh. She was once again performing her duties as a wife and a mother with as much enthusiasm as she could muster from her dead being. She would visit malls in her free time, but avoided the mall where she had met Saurabh for the first time. There were too many memories attached to that mall. Their love had blossomed in that mall, or at least so she thought, then. Now she was wiser and understood that for Saurabh her love was nothing but a game. A game which would lead to pinning down the fallen woman in bed. Her point of view of life had changed drastically. She no longer believed that everyone in the world was celebrating love. When she would see a couple in the mall she would try to gauge if they were in love or was it one sided ? The girl in love and the guy in lust ? Its true that the world is but a reflection of our recent experiences. If you have recently fallen in love, everyone in the world appears to be in love. But if you have recently been through a heartbreaking experience then the world fills up with shadows and doubts. It appears as if every man is a blood hound, ready to take advantage of you and the girls out there. This was the current state of Smita’s mind and it reflected in her perception of the world at the moment.

Her husband Abhijeet led his monotonous life with utmost happiness. He got what he desired, when he desired. In fact his life was so well programmed that Smita knew on which day he desired what, for his lunch or dinner. And after a gap of how many nights- his desire to make love would arise. She was astounded how some people found security in a monotonous life.

She was lying awake in bed though it was way past midnight but sleep had managed to elude her eyes. She saw a light flash in her mobile. She picked it up. ‘ I miss you baby.’ The message was from Saurabh. A shiver ran through her entire body. She felt numb, staring at the ceiling endlessly. Then she gently shut her eyes. Tears rolled down her cheek.

Mrs. Sen – My heart screams for love ' I cant do this'. She forcefully released herself from Saurabh's embrace because she suddenly felt repulsed at his hand travelling in to her blouse, trying to unhook her bra.

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