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astormyjet · 3 years

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Winter of 2018 - Summer of 2021 TIME FILES WHEN YOU’RE IN YOUR 20s!!!!

OH BOY. It’s been three years (or more) since I updated this. “Time is a weird soup!” to quote a fave. I guess I quit tumblr around the time there was a purge of content and creators and a smack down on a lot of the fandom communities. Tumblr has always been something of a crapshow though so I’ve been more productive with my time than I was in some ways, but I’ve also found other ways to waste my time. *cough twitter/netflix/youtube/MTGArena cough*.

General Life Achievements since 2018 -JLPT N3 GET in 2019! -Blackbelt GET in 2018! -TESOL 120 Hour and BE 50 Hour Cert from online provider GET in 2021 -STUDENT LOAN BANISHED (Thank you grandparents) -Survived Apartment flooding in early 2020. -Mystery anxiety related illness and chronic pain in my left leg from early 2020 - Present. -A mythical 6th and 7th year on the JET Programme. -Started posting on Instagram a lot more about my wanderings around Matsuyama/Uwajima. Mainly old buildings and stray cats. @astormyknight -Surviving so far in Japan with old rona-chan.

2018 was rough. I was given an additional school in the first semester (March to July) as we had someone find a better job. I enjoyed it, but it was a bit of a rough go especially when I was transferred that August after three fantastic years at Tsubaki JHS and ES and only a semester there. I legit went through the five stages of grief - which I think is another reason I stopped blogging. I was given my current base school along with four other schools. Going from 2(3) to 5 schools was a bit of an adjustment. I still feel a bit spread out.

That said, I keep running into teachers and students who were at the Tsubaki’s. The teachers shuffle around every April, so it's always a lottery with which new faces are going to be old friends (or enemies…). A couple of kids moved and transferred into my current schools from Tsubaki too. So I have one kid I can say I've been teaching for 6 out of the 7 years I've been here!

One of the kids who was in JHS 3rd grade when I first got here (in 2015!) hangs out around one of my favorite cafes, so I got chatting with him recently. He's in his second year of nursing school - his class nearly broke me in the first year, it was really a trial by fire with those kids. I was 22 then, and he’s 20 now, so it was interesting chatting to him about that first year of teaching. His younger sister was one of my favorite students too, she was in the group of kids that graduated in the March of 2018, the year group that went through Tsubaki JHS with me - they’re newly minted University students now!

This Thursday morning when I was cycling in to work, a kid who was 2nd year JHS when I left (so 2nd or 3rd year JHS now) pulled up with their Mum in a van and got their mamachari out of the back to bike to school. The franticness of it all was hilarious. Their Mum legit sat on the horn until I pulled over. I was so happy to run into this kid, even at social distance and both of us late to work/school - because we both remembered each other and as they were going around the corners they were yelling each time they turned and humming the old elementary school directions chant and pelting me with questions about what I’ve been up to.

I've had so many students and schools now, that everything is kind of running into a blur. I remember flashes of kids faces and voices, random memories of in class or out of class shenanigans out of the blue. Also, I now, more than ever, have issues remembering kids' names, but I still know their faces (even with their masks), whose homeroom class they were in, who their friends were and which club they were in. I get random flashbacks to past conversations with them when I see them on the street or we run into each other. I feel bad because the first thing former students ask is ‘Do you remember my name?’ and I always have to be like, ‘Honestly, no, but I remember you did this on x day, x month in x classroom’.

Socially in 2018 -2019 - a few of our friends went home and things shook up a little. Our DnD group changed a bit - one of our players stepped into the role forever DM (THANK YOU RALPH). From memory the newbies were great - some of them just went home at the start of last month and it’s weird not seeing them around (JESS DO YOUR BEST!). I think we only have one or two people left from that rotation. There’s no 6th year ALTs, and only two 5th years.

Aug 2018 - Aug 2019 was the year of Hiura - my mountain school. Dang man, they were so cool. The students of the JHS and the ES combined barely hit 30, so each class was between 3-10 students depending on the grade. It was easier to get to know the kids, their abilities and their goals than it has been for me at other schools. I miss it so bad, being in nature once a week did my country-kid heart so good! The bugs! The frogs! The river! The mountain! The monkeys! The lizards! The dilapidated houses and hidden shrines!!!! The random crabs in the English room...I forgot that there was such a thing as freshwater crabs, and being right next to a river, the invasion wasn’t as out of place as I first thought...

The area is so picturesque and calming. Every week up there was a small adventure (after getting over my motion sickness from the bus ride up). The kids were constantly pranking either myself or the main English teacher. There was always some new weird bug or lizard in a tank to be educated about. There were chickens on the way to the JHS that used to escape from their cardboard box prisons to run riot on the gardens. There were old people to freak out with my youth and foreignness! The kids also got to do a lot of extra classes, sumiyakai (making charcoal the traditional way), planting and maintaining rice paddies, setting up vegetable gardens, raising fireflies, conserving a special breed of fire lily (only found in this particular mountain valley) and another rare flower, wilderness training ect.

I wish I could have stayed there a lot longer but SOMEONE (read...the BoE) decided that schools had to be shuffled again(thank goodness the dude who has it now was able to keep it from the 2021 shuffle, he's the best fit for the school). I had so many good memories from there, I wish I had been more consistent in writing it down. I do have a bunch of photos and videos from there though, so that's nice. The only thing I don’t miss is the bus trip up and down - not only was it motion sickness, there was a healthy dose of fear each ride as the driver brought us perilously close to the edge of the mountain drop…

2019 - 2020 was interesting. With the school I got given instead of the Hirua’s I was roped into more demonstration lessons which was a lot of pressure because I was also involved quite heavily with the JHS observation and training lessons too. They were somewhat rewarding, the third graders are now super smart 5th graders, but the teachers who need to embrace the new curriculum and ways of teaching really haven’t taken on anything from the lessons....

Outside of work as well, I was given the chance, thanks to an ALT buddy of mine, to join in with the local festival. It's been one of the biggest highlights of my time here, and I am gutted it’s been cancelled for the last two years, but I understand the reason…. I was able to travel to Okinawa too during that summer for an international Karate seminar with the Dojo I train with. I met the head of the style I currently practice and a bunch of people from around the world. I also got to see Shuri castle before it burned down. So that was a stroke of luck. One of the places I want to go when/if we get out of this pandemic is Okinawa. I want to see more of those Islands so bad. Just before the whole pandemic thing too - I managed to see the Rugby World Cup, a Canada vs NZ match, I even ran into Tana Umanga in Oita city!!!

2019 - 2020 was supposed to be my last year on JET, so I was frantically Job hunting. I went to the Career Fair in Osaka in early Feb/Late January 2020. I applied and got interviewed for a position in Sendai in early Jan 2020. In the end though - the Rona hit. We started hearing whispers of it around the end of 2019, then the cruise boats happened, and then Japan refused to cancel the Olympics...every holiday season there is a new wave of infections, my nurse friends in Tokyo are struggling....my teacher friends in more populous areas of Japan are struggling…

JET couldn't get new ALTs for 2020-2021, I took the extra year when it was eventually offered, as the one job I had managed to get a serious offer for was hesitating because with the rona setting in, things were uncertain. There was a lot of time spent adjusting to the new rules surrounding what we could do in class with the kids as well as textbook change. Schools shut on and off during the spring months.

I also got a reminder of my mortality mid May with an unrelated illness which is still smacking me around a bit - stress/age, it does things to the human body it has no right to. It's only been in the last three months I’ve been able to exercise like I used to, I’ve put on a bunch of weight I can't shrug off (one part medication, another part diet) My relationship with food needs to change, and I really need a kitchen that allows me for more than one pan meals. I also need to figure out what to do with a left leg that is in constant pain from the knee down and a heart that misses beats when stressed out (mentally and physically…).

My apartment also got flooded by the guy upstairs at one point, I spent most of late February/early March living in a hotel while my walls and floor got redone - I think this was one of the things that really stressed me out and kicked my anxiety right up a notch, it was right when things were getting REALLY bad with rona-chan in Hokkaido and schools were shutting down here as it was filtering into the prefecture and so Japan closed schools for the first time…

Classes in covid times have been weird. We’ve been wearing facemasks full time since the early stages of the pandemic (March 2020) - so I admit that I get a bit pissed off seeing both Americans and New Zealanders back home bitching about just having to start wearing them full time in public. I have asthma and have been suffering with the things on during the 30*C plus with high 90s humidity summers. Teachers were offered vaccines late July 2021, just days before the Olympics were open - and I finished my two shots in the middle of August. But the overall distribution and take up of the jab has been slow. As mentioned above, we can't play a lot of the games we used to play with kids in classes anymore, and a lot of the activities outlined in the textbook curriculum need to be adjusted too, so we’ve had to be creative. We use hand sanitizer a lot more too. One of the things I miss the most though, is eating lunch with the kids.

Socially from summer 2020 - now 2021 we played a lot of DnD and board games, both online and in person when we could. There were no new ALTs again for the 2021-2022 JET year, and those of us who were in 6th year were offered a 7th. Four out of six of us took it. As a whole we’re down from a peak of 38 ALTs for Junior High and Elementary school to 22 for now. We hopefully will get a new person at the end of September, and 4 more in November. Which will bring us to 27. This has led to ANOTHER round of school shuffles.

Summer vacation has been weird the last two years. With rona-chan, we haven’t really been able to travel. All the summer festivals (all the Autumn and Winter ones too!) have been cancelled, so the changing of seasons just feels, wrong. I dunno. There is so much we all miss from pre-rona-chan, and so much that doesn’t happen that makes this just feel like one long long unending year of sadness, coldness, raininess, unbearable heat and repeat. I’m tired. Time is going so fast, but so.dang.slow.

I lost my favorite school (AGAIN GDI!!!) and gained the school I taught a semester at in 2019....I had my first day there on Wednesday. Schools actually started back on September 1st so there was some drama as the BoE didn’t communicate fast enough about our school changes. We legit got told on the 27th of August (on a Friday) our schools were changing effective September 1st, but somehow some of our schools found out on the Monday 30th August. In July we were told we would be changing schools at the end of September, so.a lot of ALTs and schools were left short changed, not having opportunities to say goodbye to co-workers or students/having their planning for the semester more or less thrown out the window too. I love my job. I really dislike the way the BoE treats us, the Japanese assistant language teachers and our schools.

The new school I have is used to having an ALT there twice a week, who plans all the lessons and executes them. I’m at three elementary schools. I'm only at each once a week, I want to plan, but being that I miss an entire lesson in between visits, it's going to be difficult to do so. Not impossible, but being that I'm already doing it for two other schools, who are at two different places in the textbook ah…….. From what I have talked to my new supervisor about though, it sounds like the teachers have taken on more of the lesson planning and I'll be able to contribute ideas when I'm there. I just want to and wish I could do more without being confused all the time. (This is all usually done in my second language too, not in English so extra levels of confusion and miscommunication abound).

I feel like this at my JHS too a lot of the time. I want to contribute more, but even with constant communication with my main in school supervisor (who is a badass and pretty much on the same page about everything with me) I still feel about as useful as tits on a bull. Especially now that classes have been cancelled and or shortened, there's less time to do stuff. Any game or activity I plan is usually cut in favor of making up time in the textbook. When I'm in class, I'm back to being a tape recorder, the fun police and general nuisance.　

Also in the last week...my two of my schools were shut due to students testing positive for the rona. This is the second time my schools have had a scare in the last 8 months. And by shut, I mean the students were all at home, but the teachers all had to come into the office. Because why not I guess….. I mean, the cases increasing is really not unexpected with the amount of people who were travelling over obon and the increase of cases due to the Olympics/Japan being slow on vaccinating/delta being the dominant strain/Japan's leaders doing relatively little except asking shops and restaurants to limit people coming in at one time and closing before 8pm. I know my schools weren't the only one shut either - but still High Schools were having their sports days this week. I kept on seeing groups of kids hanging in the park after, so that was a little bit nerve wracking.

It's just frustrating - we’ve been on half days to “minimize the risk of infection” for kids and teachers, as if only being at school from 8am through to 1pm is going to reduce the risk. My schools have only just started testing out Microsoft teams and Zoom lesson equipment. Thankfully our school’s run in this time was contained real quick, the family was super good about informing us when they got their results back, and the fact they needed to be tested. The homeroom teacher and the students from the same class were the only ones tested, and they all came back clear, which was nice. But the information came back so SLOW.

I’m a little irritated because I found out on Wednesday night what was going on, and even if I am vaccinated, I am super worried that I will end up being the covid monkey due to being at different schools three days out of five. I think other than being worried that I will catch it myself and get real sick, my biggest fear is that I will be protected from bad symptoms from the vaccine, but still be able to pass it onto some of my more vulnerable friends and students. The whole thing is a mess.

Other than Covid and BoE drama, life is good. I’ve had a couple of other big changes - both fantastic and not so great, but yeah. I have my health (and health insurance!) for now. I have a job, for now. I have a sense of existential dread for the next 12 months, but we’ll see where we end up. Life post JET is going to be way less cushy and I am TERRIFIED. I mean, I have a BA in Eng/Ling and no idea what to do with it…..because I am NOT suited for academia.

TLDR: Love my job. Don’t like the system. What is life? Future scary.

#life on JET #blog post #life in Japan #jet programme #jet program

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

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What color is your bedspread? It’s a teal and gray floral print. Pick up the nearest book to you, turn to page 25 and read the first sentence. Nah. How many candles are in the room you are in? 3. What was your first word when you were a baby? Probably the typical “mama” or “dada.” How old were you in 1996? I was…somewhere in the universe, floating around lmao. <<< Omggg you weren’t even born yet, I’m so old D: lol. I turned 7 that year.

How old will you be in 2016? I turned 27 that year. How long until your birthday? 6 months. How many siblings do you have? Two. Are they older or younger than you? I’m the middle kid. Are your grandparents still alive? My paternal grandparents are. How many orange objects are there in the room you are in? I don’t feel like counting that. Have you ever run a stoplight? I don’t drive. Do you have any children? Noooo. How was your first kiss? Awkward, as most first kisses typically are, but it was all I knew and I was all giddy about having had it. Have you completed high school yet? I graduated high school in 2008. Do you have any relatives in the military currently? No. Who got married at the last wedding you went to? Friends of a friend. What time did you get up today? I haven’t gone to bed, yet, but for the past couple months or so I’ve been sleeping in until like 12 or 1PM. When was the last time you stayed up all night? It’s been a few years since I’ve pulled an all nighter. They used to not be such a rare occurrence, but I couldn’t do it now. I have been staying up until like 5AM lately, though. How long have you had a myspace, facebook, or whatever you use? I’ve had Facebook since 2008. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you hung out with? My brother. Person of the same sex? My mom. What color are your eyes? Brown. Do you like them? I wish they were blue or green. Have you ever had braces? Yes, but not for my teeth. Turn on your mp3, cd player, radio, etc. What song is playing? Nah. What was the last thing you drank? Starbucks Doubleshot.

Are you better at math or art? Me and math have always been enemies, but I’m not at all artistic either. I guess out of the two I’d say art. I can color and do some simple arts and crafts, ha. Science or History? Both are interesting. I didn’t enjoy them much in school, but I like learning about that stuff on my own. I’m able to pick and choose what topics are of interest to me and it’s just for my own knowledge; there’s no pressure of having to learn it for a test or anything. Who was your 4th grade teacher? Mr. McGill. He was hands down my favorite teacher. He made learning so much fun. I was actually really sad on the last day of school. He ended up teaching 8th grade a few years later and I got to have him again, so that was cool. Who was your best friend in 7th grade? Jessica, Amanda, Kyle, and David.

Where did you go to pre-school, if you went at all? A preschool in my city. Who was the last person to call you? My mom.

Did you smile in your driver’s license picture? I don’t have a driver’s license, but I don’t think I’m smiling in my ID photo. I may be giving a little one, but I don’t recall at the moment. Do you have a job? No. What is your favorite smell? The beachy/ocean air, rain, coffee, coconut, peppermint, cinnamon, vanilla, fruity/sweet scents, patchouli, cedar wood, sandalwood, that like smoky smell in the air during fall, desserts, my favorite foods... What’s your favorite brand of gum? Orbit or 5Gum. Have you ever dated someone & then dated their sibling? No. That seems very awkward and messy. Who was your crush in 5th grade? Hm. I don’t remember. Who was your first bf/gf? His name is Derek. We were close friends first, but then found out we both liked each other so we gave it a shot. What color is the shirt you are wearing? I’m wearing a black sweatshirt. What do you think of the 1980’s? I like a lot of 80s music and movies. Have you ever dated someone more than 2 years older than you? No. How about 2 years younger? No. Just a year younger. What brand of shampoo do you use? It’s a salon one for red dyed hair. How long is your hair? It’s down to my butt. I’m FINALLY getting it dyed and trimmed at the end of this month. :O If you could change one thing about yourself physically, what would it be? I’d have my teeth fixed. <<< Same. That’s definitely the first thing I’d want to do. Is there a box of tissues in the room you are in right now? No. What time is it? 3:01AM. Is their anything living (plant, animal, etc) in your room right now? Just me. That I know of... What color are the walls in your kitchen? White. Have you ever had a car accident? No. Do you have any major plans for today? I have no plans for today. What kind of deoderant do you use? Secret. The powder fresh one. What color is your toothbrush? Blue and white. Do you own a digital camera? I have one that’s been stored away since like 2011/2012. How old is the cellphone you have right now? Just a little over a year old. I got it for Christmas 2018. What are your initials, using the last letter of each of your names? EEE. Hahah. Do you know anyone named Tyler? No. How about Reese? Nope. Diana? No.

Shelby? No. Have you ever kissed someone who’s name started with “C”? No. How about “L”? No. “E”? No. “B”? No. Are both your parents still living? Yes. What was the last thing you cooked? Ramen. How many times have you moved in your life? Only once that I’m old enough to remember, but I think like 5 times total. Do you live within 20 miles of your birthplace? Yeah. Can you do a handstand? No. Is it after 11am? No, it’s only 3 in the morning. What day is it? Friday. What’s the longest time you’ve ever spent on the phone? A few hours. :O I actually used to do that when I was a teenager. Then I ended up developing a real hatred for talking on the phone as I got older haha. How many pairs of brown shoes do you own? I have 2 pairs of brown boots. Are you on any prescribed medications? Yes. What was the date 2 weeks ago from today? December 20th. If you aren’t already married, do you expect to be married within 5 years? Nooo. I don’t see that ever happening, but definitely not in 5 years. How about 2 years? If I know that won’t happen in 5 years, then most definitely not in 2 years. How many funerals have you been to in your lifetime? 3. Have you ever been far away from home on your birthday? Just a couple hours or so away. Have you ever had a pet fish? Yeah. I had a fish tank full of fish when I was a kid. Do you have any tattoos? Nope. Would you ever or do you have a nose piercing? No. If you only had 30 days to live, what would you do? That’s a fun way to end the survey. -___-

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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the-depressed-shiny-buneary · 5 years

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Interview Time: Main Cast

1. Hi! What's your name?

Ashley: Ashley Gabena Ketchum~

Grey: Grey Ichiro Ketchum.

Alex: Uh, I’m Alex Manya Morgan.

Salvia: Hello~ I’m Salvia Miyamoto Jameson

Daichi: I’m the great Daichi Hikaru Maple.

2. Do you know why you were named that?

Ashley: Dad said it’s because he was told to by a legendary Pokemon. My middle name is my mom’s maiden name. And Ketchum is the family last name~

Grey: Dad didn’t want to name me Silver Jr. So he picked Grey because of my eye color. My middle name means ‘firstborn son’, and I’m the first one that was born.

Alex: I don’t know why my parents named me Alex. But I’m glad they did cause it’s a gender-neutral name. Meanwhile, my middle name means rebellious women. I think it fits me.

Salvia: Dad named me after the flowers at their wedding, which were Salvias and they could be red or blue like either of their hair colors. Miyamoto is the name of granny from my mom’s side, she wanted some reminder of her mom.

Daichi: Daichi means grand or impressive first son, which I think fits me perfectly cause I’m mom’s first son and I will be grand and impressive. Hikaru, my middle name, means shining brilliance. Again, it fits me so well.

3. Your age?

Ashley: I’m eleven~

Grey: I’m sixteen.

Alex: I’m fourteen.

Salvia: I’m twelve~

Daichi: And I am fifteen~

4. Have any abilities or powers?

Ashley: I can understand Pokemon like my dad~ And I can cheer people up by singing, I don’t know anything else. (She doesn’t know she has Psychic abilities yet)

Grey: I can run really fast if that counts.

Alex: I guess being able to be mistaken for a boy and a girl...Despite the fact, I’m neither!!

Salvia: I don’t think so. I’m pretty normal.

Daichi: I don’t think so either. 5. What's your eye color?

Ashley: It’s blue, like my mom’s~

Grey: It’s gray, I think it’s from my dad.

Alex: My eyes are purple.

Salvia: I have blue eyes like Ashley~ Twins~

Daichi: I also have blue eyes. 6. How about hair color?

Ashley: Raven black, like my dad’s~

Grey: I think my dad said my hair color is crimson red, that or scarlet red. Or just plain red.

Alex: My hair is black.

Salvia: Blue~ Like my dad’s~

Daichi: It’s green...like my dad’s hair... 7. Have any family members?

Ashley: Yeah~ My mom, my dad, my twin brother and sister, my uncle Silver, my aunt Ciara, my cousins Grey and Katri, my granny Delia, my grandpa Red, lots of family members~

Grey: My dad, my mom, my little sister, my uncle, my aunt, my cousin, my grandparents. It’s a pretty big family.

Alex: My mom, my dad, and my older brother. I only really like my brother.

Salvia: Yup~ My mom, my dad, my grandparents and...I think that’s actually it.

Daichi: My mom, my dad...my stepdad...my half-sister...my grandpa Norman, my grandma Caroline, my uncle Max and some others.

8. Fav color?

Ashley: Orange and yellow~

Grey: Black, gray and white.

Alex: Purple, black, white, pink and blue.

Salvia: Blue~

Daichi: Green and brown.

9. Fav food and drink?

Ashley: Macarons and Moomoo milk~ Best combo~

Grey: Ramen and green tea. Mostly if said ramen was spicy.

Alex: I guess leek and potato soup, my brother made it for me when we moved to Kalos. It was really good. As for the drink, I guess water.

Salvia: I love rice balls and dangos~ Both are so yummy~ I also like green tea with honey~

Daichi: My mom makes the best curry~ That’s my favorite food~ Oh, and soda pop~

10. Who's your crush?

Ashley: I really like my friend Chetari~ I’d say she’s my crush~

Grey: I have a girlfriend, her name is Tina.

Alex: Monica’s my crush, I kind of hope she likes me back.

Salvia: I don’t have a crush per say, but I do think Apollo is attractive. *blushing* I would like to get to know him better~

Daichi: I like Sable, she’s really friendly.

11. If you have one, did you kiss yet?

Ashley: *giggles* I kissed her cheek~ She got really red and it was adorable~

Grey: Me and Tina kiss all the time. *small smile* I like her kisses.

Alex: *blushes heavily* N-N-No... I want to though...

Salvia: *blushing* O-Oh my, k-kissing... Th-That seems a b-bit bold...

Daichi: I mean...I kissed the back of her hand but...not on the cheek or lips... *blushes*

12. Your hobbies?

Ashley: Oh, dancing, singing, gardening, sewing, baking, and parkouring~

Grey: I took into skateboarding and roller skating back when I was in Kalos. I’m still pretty good.

Alex: I take martial arts, karate, tae kwon do, basically any kind of fighting I can do. I also like to cook, I’ll say that much. Oh, there’s also the piano. I hate playing it but for some reason, I still play it.

Salvia: I love dancing with Ashley~ I also learned how to knit when I was maybe seven and I love knitting~

Daichi: Well aside from being a coordinator, I like to take pictures of whatever I see. I also took an interest in gymnastics and I play the trumpet. I also like to plant berries for my Pokeblock.

13. Who are your friends?

Ashley: I have lots of friends~ My best friend being Salvia~ I’m also friends with Lillie, Lana, Mallow, Tina, Monica, Chetari, Moon and Penelope~ Oh, another best friend is Takako~

Grey: I guess Daichi, Gladion, and Kiawe are pretty good friends of mine.

Alex: I see Ashley as a really good friend, I guess the same could be said for Salvia and Daichi.

Salvia: Oh~ Ashley’s my best friend~ I’m also friends with Penelope, Lillie, Lana, Chetari and Mallow~

Daichi: I’m Grey’s best friend, of course. I’m also pretty close to Sophocles. We have fun playing video games together. 14. Fav weather?

Ashley: Sunny~ That’s the best kind of weather~

Grey: I guess cloudy, mostly dark clouds. Cause that means it’ll rain and I like rain.

Alex: Snow! I like the sun and all, but I’ve lived in Snowpoint city and Snowbelle city for all my life. Snow is what I always remember.

Salvia: Like Ashley, I love sunny weather~ It’s so much fun to play in~

Daichi: I like partly cloudy, not too sunny and not too cloudy. It’s perfect. 15. What season do you prefer?

Ashley: Spring~ Everything is coming back from the cold and the flowers are pretty to look at~

Grey: I like Fall. All the colors they have are really great to look at.

Alex: WINTER!!! I LOVE WINTER!!!

Salvia: Summer~ Summer~ Summer~

Daichi: I’d say Spring, that’s when I can go back to gardening. 16. Your biggest fears?

Ashley: Rhyhorns...I hate Rhyhorns...

Grey: Watching Katri and Ashley die and I can’t stop them from dying...

Alex: Not being accepted by my close friends...

Salvia: The rumors of my parents being true...

Daichi: My dad dying and me being unable to say goodbye... 17. Any persons you don't like?

Ashley: I don’t like Dusk, she’s really mean to me when I want to be friends.

Grey: I don’t like grandma Grace when Ashley was little she tried to show her how to ride a Rhyhorn. She kept getting bucked off and me, Salvia, Daichi, and Ashley told her to stop and how it was enough but she kept going until she got her arm broken. I also hate that girl Sheryl.

Alex: I don’t like my parents, they tried to force me to be a cis boy.

Salvia: My dad’s old fiancee! Sure she gave me my Vileplume but she only did it to try and get me to like her! She’s mean!

Daichi: I don’t like Harley...Sure he makes my mom happy and all but still... 18. Do you like cute things/persons?

Ashley: Of course I do~

Grey: I guess my sister and my cousin count, so yeah.

Alex: Totally, what isn’t there to like about cute things?

Salvia: Oh yes~ All the way yes~

Daichi: I find a lot of Bug types cute, yeah. 19. A compliment you get to hear often?

Ashley: That I’m really good at dancing and how I’m a lot like my parents.

Grey: That I’m a good battler just like my dad.

Alex: Someone once said ‘Don’t stick to gender stereotypes, fight society you genderfluid warrior’. I guess that would count.

Salvia: That I create amazing displays with the most unlikely Pokemon type~ And they said Poison-types were ugly, ha!

Daichi: That I’m really good at gardening and coordinating.

20. Name your worst habits.

Ashley: I guess my energy and my bottomless stomach can be a bit of an issue...

Grey: People say I glare a little too much which makes me look intimidating.

Alex: It’s not my fault I get angry when people think I’m a boy or a girl.

Salvia: I am very submissive...I’m honestly glad my friends don’t take advantage of that.

Daichi: I’ll admit, I do have a lot of arrogance. My friends are working on having me break out of that. 21. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Ashley: My parents and my aunt of course~

Grey: My dad, obviously.

Alex: Drew! He was the reason why I got interested in Pokemon coordinating in the first place!

Salvia: My mom and Mrs. Ketchum for sure~

Daichi: My dad! He’s awesome! 22. Do you go to school?

Ashley: Yup~ I go to school~

Grey: We all do actually.

Alex: I was nervous at first but it’s not so bad.

Salvia: I like going to our school in Alola~

Daichi: It’s fun actually, I like it there. 23. Ever wanna marry and have kids one day?

Ashley: I guess so, with Chetari~

Grey: That would be nice if me and Tina are still together.

Alex: If Monica wants to date me yeah.

Salvia: *blushing* I would like that, with Apollo.

Daichi: Yes, with Sable. 24. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?

Ashley: Maybe like one or two.

Grey: Too many to count...

Alex: Not really but I’m glad I don’t have any.

Salvia: I think one boy gave me flowers.

Daichi: I have a fan club. 25. What do you usually wear?

Ashley: I mostly wear dresses that are yellow or orange and an orange headband, I don’t wear hats often~

Grey: A black and white striped T-shirt and gray shorts, as well as black tennis shoes. It’s pretty basic.

Alex: Like Grey a striped T-shirt only it’s black and purple, I’ll either have a white skirt or a pair of black shorts, sometimes I’ll wear shorts under my skirt. I also have a white scarf, striped socks, and black sneakers. I also wear pink and blue bandages around my fists.

Salvia: Normally it’s a blue dress, white tights, and blue Mary Jane shoes. I also never go anywhere without my blue ribbons.

Daichi: I wear a green shirt and brown shorts and green sneakers. I also have a brown jacket that looks like my dad’s, he gave it to me before he left. 26. What class are you? (low class, middle class, high class)

Ashley: I’d say, high class, mom’s the Kalos Queen and dad has a lot of jobs.

Grey: High class, my dad’s a champion and my mom’s an actress. So high class.

Alex: I think middle class.

Salvia: Upper middle class since my parents work for Ashley’s parents.

Daichi: I’d say middle class or lower high class, it’s hard to tell.

27. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

Ashley: I’d say the ocean~ It’s fun saying hi to all the Water types~

Grey: Ocean for sure. Sharpedo can enjoy a swim.

Alex: I’d go with a lake, I’m not that good at swimming.

Salvia: I’ll say a lake too, it’s more controlled.

Daichi: I’d say both have their good points, so both.

28. What's your type?

Ashley: Psychic types because they can be great companions when you need them~

Grey: Dark-types because they can be crafty and sneak away with little to no detection.

Alex: Fighting-types because their fighting styles are amazing and different.

Salvia: Poison-types because I find them so cute and they are not ugly!

Daichi: Bug types because all of them have so much beauty inside and out. It kind of annoys me that Mrs. Misty fears them when she doesn’t know them. 29. Camping or indoors?

Ashley: Both~ I love camping and sleeping indoors~

Grey: I’m with Ashley on this, both are fun.

Alex: I’d say camping, more time to train and improve my fighting stances.

Salvia: Indoors, I got lost while camping once.

Daichi: Camping, I could find more berries to plant and more Bug types to play with.

#Pokemon #Amourshipping #Rocketshipping #contestshipping #Main Cast

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theleastcarefulofgamedevs · 5 years

Note

hehehehehehehehe ur turn. overshare pals

hehe im lov u ceec :)

---

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles and soda cans!

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate.... im lov it

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

hardworking, earnest, and honestly? they gave me too much credit ebagweaganegioawnegew

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

soda bottles!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

somewhere between boho, goth, and grunge hehe

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones!

8. movies or tv shows?

movies,,

9. favorite smell in the summer?

you know that wet pavement smell after it rains? love that

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

dodgeball hehehe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

nothin tbh. i don’t wake up early enough for it

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Writing Music! i made it hehehe

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

GUMMY BEARS AND JELLY BEANS

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

“A Child Called ‘It’“ by Dave Pelzer

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

cuddled up to someone in blankets,,, im lov anything with my s/o tbh

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

i have this beat up pair of blue slip ons that have bloodstains on em bc i got a nosebleed one day bwaeiugbaweugbaweubguaw

18. ideal weather?

post-raining, or like. just before it starts raining

19. sleeping position?

anything with my s/o or bein wrapped in like. a billion blankets

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

on my home pc in my room!

21. obsession from childhood?

dice and video games!

22. role model?

i know it’s gonna sound dumb but like. a lot of characters from media have influenced me a lot, like sans/komaeda etc. another one from my real life would be my aunt on my mom’s side!

23. strange habits?

i bounce my leg while listening to music or stressed,, that’s abt it. OH and i like twirling a small blanket around on my arm bc... acrobatics of sorts

24. favorite crystal?

amethyst, but anything clean cut and rounded looks rlly nice imo,,

25. first song you remember hearing?

the first day i remember in my life was christmas at my grandma’s when i was 4, so probably random christmas music ubwegebwgwebgoibgweg

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

sometimes when i get tired of sitting around at home i like to walk down to the dog park by my house!

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

cuddle,,,,,,,,,,, wrap up in a blanket with some freshly baked cookies n just. be there

28. five songs to describe you?

megalovania, medley rush 2 from the sonic rush ost, the promised neverland english op, metal crusher from undertale, metal scratchin’ from sonic rush

29. best way to bond with you?

just talk to me! im godawful at starting convos but i love talkin to ppl!

30. places that you find sacred?

every person’s room feels that way, as well as obvious places, like churches n whatnot. we went n visited my aunt’s old house so my mom could pick up some stuff and being in her room after she died in 2015 was just like. an emotion i can’t rlly describe

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

hoodie, trackpants, n sneakers hehe

32. top five favorite vines?

back at it again @ krispy kreme, ADAM, they were roommates, two dudes in a hot tub, my croissant

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either “be there soon” or “ily”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

none tbh. i don’t watch much tv so i don’t see ads often

35. average time you fall asleep?

either 10:30 or sometime after midnight. no in between

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

it was a rage comic

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade, but i LOVE tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

LEMON CAKE....

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

i was walkin in the halls with my friend and someone dropped a styrofoam cup of pasta on my friend’s head from the second floor awbegiuawbeguiawbguaewg

41. last person you texted?

the person who sent this ask heheheheh

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

jacket pockets!

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie!

44. favorite scent for soap?

anything really, but i like whatever my s/o uses bc it would remind me of them!

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

underwear tbh. like. that and a tshirt or just underwear is the only way i can sleep

47. favorite type of cheese?

sensory issues say i have to hate all kinds of cheese outside of like. grilled cheese so let’s go with that/cheddar

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

dragonfruit!

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

GOD pretty much every quote from monomi or chiaki in danganronpa 2, but mostly “if you learn to love yourself, that love will continue to carry you for your whole life! love, love...”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

OH HERES A FUCKIN STORY OK so i was at my friend’s house with a bunch of others bc we were doin a sleepover type thing and we were eating raising canes in his attic at like 3 am and some guy high on like. 3 different drugs at once got impaled through the leg on his fence. nobody saw him but we knew he was there and the cops were there in like 3 minutes. that very same friend has some of the most wack stories ngl

51. current stresses?

just doing well in school and making sure my s/o is happy!

52. favorite font?

comic sans.......................... im sorry

53. what is the current state of your hands?

my palms b sweaty but my fingers are dehydrated tbh. typin

54. what did you learn from your first job?

work.... difficult

55. favorite fairy tale?

probably the princess and the frog!

56. favorite tradition?

christmas!

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

probably my most noteworthy traumas tbh. gettin therapy for em, too

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

writing, my ability to overcome obstacles, being able to help ppl as well as i can, and making friends fast!

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Not dead yet.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Probably either shounen, romance, or moe,,,,

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“It’s a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like these, kids like you... should be burning in hell.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

sans, komaeda, makoto naegi, komaru naegi, toko fukawa, chiaki nanami, and chihiro fujisaki!

63. five songs that would play in your club?

they’d all be fall out boy tbh. that and videogame osts

64. favorite website from your childhood?

armor games hehe

65. any permanent scars?

i don’t think so? at least, not yet

66. favorite flower(s)?

roses and anything blue!

67. good luck charms?

my dice sets!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

vanilla york peppermint patties... gross

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

pikmin in pikmin 1 who are underneath a bridge when it’s completed are killed because they get pushed through the ground

70. left or right handed?

right handed!

71. least favorite pattern?

probably the hellish bumpy pattern all teachers have all over their fuckin classrooms

72. worst subject?

math

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

chicken nuggets in milkshake... good. or frankly just like. cooked chicken mixed with anythin cold like ice or ice cream

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like. 3 or 4

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i was eating a crunch bar and it fell out hehe

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

I WOULD DIE FOR FRENCH FRIES.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

any small blooming plant, like a single rose or flower!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

hrm. coffee from a gas station tbh

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

NEITHER LOOK GOOD LMAO and i don’t have a driver’s license. that’s just like. a prediction

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

jewel tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

lightning bugs!

82. pc or console?

either works but i spend more time on pc!

83. writing or drawing?

writing, but i like both!

84. podcasts or talk radio?

talk radio, but i love podcasts like TAZ or Critical Role!

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither? but probably barbie bc it’s more well known? idk

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cupcakes all the way b

87. your greatest fear?

me being the last person i know alive. i’d rather die than outlive everyone

88. your greatest wish?

i hope that no matter what there is after we die, i get to be with the people that are most important to me.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my s/o and family tbh

90. luckiest mistake?

buying danganronpa bweguowabguawebogbaweibg

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights!

93. nicknames?

i go by wes, dev, bines, anything rlly

94. favorite season?

spring!

95. favorite app on your phone?

tumblr hehe

96. desktop background?

it’s the ddlc cast! it’s a greyscaled image of four of the events cut together and their eyes glow hehe

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

only one, and it’s my dads bc i have to call him every time i go to my grandparents’ hehe

98. favorite historical era?

probably the one we’re in now tbh, but like. also hate it

2 notes · View notes

frmartinshomiliesandreflections · 3 years

Photo

3rd January >> Fr. Martin’s Gospel Reflections / Homilies on

John 1:1-18 for the Second Sunday of Christmas, Cycle B

& on

Matthew 2:1-12 for the Solemnity of the Epiphany of the Lord.

Second Sunday of Christmas, Cycle B

Gospel (Except USA)

John 1:1-18

The Word was made flesh, and lived among us

In the beginning was the Word: and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things came to be, not one thing had its being but through him. All that came to be had life in him and that life was the light of men, a light that shines in the dark, a light that darkness could not overpower.

A man came, sent by God. His name was John. He came as a witness, as a witness to speak for the light, so that everyone might believe through him. He was not the light, only a witness to speak for the light.

The Word was the true light that enlightens all men; and he was coming into the world. He was in the world that had its being through him, and the world did not know him. He came to his own domain and his own people did not accept him. But to all who did accept him he gave power to become children of God, to all who believe in the name of him who was born not out of human stock or urge of the flesh or will of man but of God himself.

The Word was made flesh, he lived among us, and we saw his glory, the glory that is his as the only Son of the Father, full of grace and truth.

John appears as his witness. He proclaims: ‘This is the one of whom I said: He who comes after me ranks before me because he existed before me.’

Indeed, from his fullness we have, all of us, received – yes, grace in return for grace, since, though the Law was given through Moses, grace and truth have come through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God; it is the only Son, who is nearest to the Father’s heart, who has made him known.

Reflections (4)

(i) Second Sunday of Christmas

It has been a difficult year for many people. Some will have lost their jobs or seen their income decrease significantly. Many of our senior citizens will have felt cut off from others because of the need to self-isolate. It has been especially difficult for grandparents who for many months have not not able to meet up with family members. Young people were not able to socialize in ways that is normal for their age. Couples who got married in the last nine months would have spent time worrying whether or not their special day could go ahead at all. Here we are at the beginning of a new year. Even though we are in very worrying times with regard to the virus, we hope the coming year will be a better one for us all.

The beginning of any new year can lend itself to being a hopeful time. The days are just beginning to get longer. We will soon see the first signs of spring. Various bulbs that we planted in early autumn will soon begin to show above ground. Every beginning contains within itself seeds of hope, whether it is the beginning of a new year, a new job, a new relationship, a new enterprise. Something new comes along, which holds great promise. As we begin a new year, our gospel reading this Sunday is itself a beginning. It is the beginning of the gospel of John, and its opening words are, ‘In the beginning’. The evangelist takes us back to a beginning before all other beginnings, to that mysterious moment before creation, before ��all things came to be’, in the words of the gospel reading. In that beginning moment, according to the evangelist, God spoke such a perfect Word that this Word was itself diving, ‘the Word was God’. This striking gospel reading then moves to another moment of beginning, this time within the realm of human history, just over two thousand years ago, ‘the Word was made flesh, he lived among us’. Without ceasing to be God, the Word became human. This is the extraordinary mystery we are celebrating over the Christmas period

Today’s gospel reading announces that God has not remained silent. God has communicated with us through creation and, especially, through the love-filled life of Jesus. Jesus is the human face of God. The gospel reading concludes by stating that ‘no one has ever seen God’, no one that is except Jesus who was with God in the beginning and, even during his earthly life, was close to God the Father’s heart, which is why only Jesus can make God known to us. Nowhere has God revealed his heart to us or shown his face to us as he has in Jesus. Because no one, apart from Jesus, has ever seen God, we have to keep turning to Jesus to purify our image of God. We can pick up distorted images of God as we go through life. In this earthly life, we never attain to what the second reading calls the ‘full knowledge’ of God, but in so far as we keep turning towards the person of Jesus we will grow towards that full knowledge of God, which is our eternal destiny. What image of God does Jesus, the Word made flesh, give us? According to our gospel reading, Jesus revealed God to be light, the true light of all. In the ancient world, darkness was considered menacing and threatening. Jesus shows us that there is no menace or threat in God. According to the gospel reading, Jesus was full of grace and truth. He shows that God is gracious towards us, full of a love that is freely given to us; he shows that God is truthful, reliable and trustworthy. Also, because God became human in Jesus, Jesus shows God to have a deep desire to be in communion with us, to get inside our skin as it were, to suffer with us, to become as vulnerable and fragile as we all are. When we look upon Jesus, we see God’s infinite love, compassion and vulnerability.

As a human being, Jesus was fragile, vulnerable, prone to suffering and brokenness, and, yet, his life was charged with the glorious presence of God. In the words of the gospel reading, ‘we saw his glory, the glory that is his as the only Son of the Father’. He thereby shows us that our own often fragile and broken lives can also be charged with God’s glorious presence. Just as God suffered on Calvary, God is intimately present to us when we suffer, when we feel broken and wounded. Again, in the Eucharist, which we are now celebrating, fragile human gifts of bread and wine are charged with the glorious presence of God. In becoming flesh, Jesus reveals God to be a giving God, a God who wants to give to us out of the fullness that is God. Having given, God wants us, waits for us, to receive. In the words of the gospel reading, ‘from his fullness we have, all of us, receive, yes grace upon grace’. Today’s gospel reading offers us an insight into God which can keep us hopeful and grateful as we begin a new year. It invites us to spend the year receiving from the fullness that God has given us in Jesus.

And/Or

(ii) Second Sunday of Christmas

We are familiar with the saying: Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never harm me. Like a lot of proverbial sayings, this one expresses a truth, but by no means the whole truth. We know from experience that words can be very harmful. Somebody’s reputation can be unjustly undermined because somebody else puts out a story about this person. The story may have some truth in it, but it is likely to be only one of many stories that could be told about the person, and, if it becomes the dominant story, an injustice is done to that person. I remember once seeing a collection of old posters that were commonly displayed in Britain during the Second World War. One of them read, ‘Careless talk costs lives’. That poster expresses a truth which applies as much to peace time as to war time. Careless talk can cost lives, not necessarily in the sense that it results in people being shot, but in the sense that it can seriously damage or even destroy a person’s reputation. Careless talk can be damaging in other ways. We are all aware from our experience how words spoken in anger can damage a relationship. Words can be either harmful or life-giving. The proverb, ‘Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never arm me’ does not seem to take seriously enough the power of language, a power that can be for good or for ill.

Today’s gospel reading from the gospel of John could be understood as a hymn to the power of language, God’s language. It begins, ‘In the beginning was the Word’. That Word that God spoke in the beginning became flesh in the person of Jesus of Nazareth. Here was now a Word that could not only be heard, but could be seen and touched as well. The words we speak reveal who we are only to a limited extent. There is always much more to us than is revealed in our words. However, the Word God spoke in the beginning revealed God fully, and when this Word became flesh in Jesus, he became the fullest revelation of God that was possible in human form. God said all that could be said about who he was in the person of his Son. To look on Jesus is to look on God. As Jesus says to Philip, later on in John’s gospel, ‘he who sees me sees the Father’. God has spoken to us in a language we can understand, the language of a human life. This Word who is Jesus is full of the life of God, radiant with the light of God. He calls on us to receive from his fullness, grace upon grace. He does not force his fullness upon people. At one point in John’s gospel he turns to the twelve and asks, ‘Do you also wish to go away?’ Simon Peter on that occasion spoke for us all when he said, ‘Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life’. Jesus had the words of eternal life because he himself was the Word of life.

The words people speak to us do not always do us good. The words we hear from various quarters do not always leave us blessed. On the contrary, they can leave us damaged and diminished. The Word God spoke to us in his Son has greatly blessed and enriched us. St. Paul recognizes this in the second reading today when he sings, ‘Blessed be God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who has blessed us with all the spiritual blessings of heaven in Christ’. Having been blessed by God’s Word in this way, we are called to bless others by the words we speak, by the lives we live. We are called to keep on receiving from the fullness that is always being given to us in Christ, so that we can enrich others from that fullness. As was said of John the Baptist in today’s gospel reading, we are to be witnesses who speak for the light.

Today we might give thanks for the times when we have spoken for the light, when the words we spoke or wrote gave life and strength to someone, or brought some light into a situation of darkness or cover-up. These were the times when our words had something of the quality of the Word that God spoke in the beginning and that became flesh in the person of Jesus. Parents have a wonderful opportunity to speak such words to their children, as have spouses to each other, and those unmarried to people close to them. All of us in different ways have the potential to speak words that make a difference for the better, that leave people more alive and enlightened. We can speak and live in a way that is experienced by others as good news. As we begin a new year we might resolve to speak words that have something of the life-giving quality of God’s Word, the Word who became flesh and dwelt among us.

And/Or

(iii) Second Sunday of Christmas

I rather like this time of year immediately after Christmas. It is true that it can be a very inclement time, weather-wise. The harshest winter weather often comes our way in the weeks of January. I like this time of the year because I know that the days are getting longer, even if it is not all that apparent. In terms of daylight hours, nothing much seems to have changed since well before Christmas. Yet, we know that the light which has been retreating since late June, the longest day of the year, is now beginning its fight back, and that each day at this time of the year is that tiny bit longer than the previous day. The realization that light is on the increase can lift our spirits. We sense that we have turned the corner and we begin to look ahead towards Summer. Soon, with the increasing light, there will be increasing life in our gardens, as the very early flowers of spring begin to show their heads. Light and life tend to go together.

The gospel reading this morning seems to be in harmony with what is happening in nature. It speaks of a ‘light that shines in the dark, a light that darkness could not overpower’, of a ‘true light that enlightens all’. It goes on to identify this true light as the Word who ‘was made flesh, and lived among us’ and it then names this Word made flesh as Jesus Christ. Jesus is the light that shines in the dark and that the darkness could not overpower. The first letter of Saint John makes two statements about God, ‘God is light’ and ‘God is Love’. That would suggest that we are to understand the light referred to in today’s gospel reading as the light of love, the light of God’s love. Jesus will go on to speak of himself in John’s gospel as the ‘light of the world’, and that is because he reveals God’s love for the world, he makes know the God who so loved the world that he gave his only Son. That is what we have been celebrating at Christmas, the good news that God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that we may have life and have it to the full. In giving us his Son, God gave us a light that the darkness could not overpower, a fire of love that human sin could not extinguish. Indeed, when the world attempted to extinguish the light by putting God’s Son to death, God continued to give the world his Son by raising him from the dead. As a result, the light of God’s love shone more brilliantly than ever.

We know that the days are now getting longer and that for the next six months light will increase and darkness will decrease. Yet, when it comes to our own personal lives we cannot be as sure that in the coming months light will increase and darkness will decrease. The well-known Psalm, the Lord is my Shepherd, speaks about walking through the valley of darkness. We know from experience that we can find ourselves entering a valley of darkness at any time of the year, for many different reasons. Ill health can suddenly strike us or strike someone close to us. A relationship that has been very significant for us can come to an end, leaving us with a feeling of failure or of diminished self-worth. A friendship that we had high hopes for may never materialize to our great regret and sadness. Some personal habit that we have been fighting may seem to be getting the better of us. In these uncertain economic times, people can suddenly loose their jobs, jobs they would once have considered very secure. In all of these ways and in other ways we can find ourselves in a dark place, even as the days are getting longer and brighter. To that extent our personal and communal lives are not as predictable or as reliable as the changing seasons in nature.

In times of our own personal darkness the gospel reading this morning assures us that there is a light shining in that darkness which the darkness cannot overpower. The Word, the true light, was made flesh and lived among us, and continues to live among us today. We are invited to open our hearts to this true light, the light of God’s love, which shines upon us, to receive the light that has graced us since the coming of Jesus. The gospel reading laments the fact that many did not receive the true light who came into the world. However, it also speaks on behalf of those who did recognize and receive the light of God’s love present in Jesus – ‘we have seen his glory… from his fullness we have, all of us, received grace in return for grace’. The gospel reading invites us to identify with those believers who are speaking through that text. We too can see the light of God’s love in the risen Lord who is living among us; we too can receive from the fullness of that light. We too can discover that in the words of Jesus later on in John’s gospel, ‘whoever follows me will never walk in darkness.

And/Or

(iv) Second Sunday of Christmas

I rather like this time of year immediately after Christmas, because I know that the days are finally getting longer, even if it is not all that apparent. In terms of daylight hours, nothing much seems to have changed since well before Christmas. Yet, we know that from the 21st of December onwards, the light which has been retreating since late June, the longest day of the year, is now beginning its fight back, and that each day is that tiny bit longer than the previous day. The realization that light is on the increase can lift our spirits. We sense that we have turned the corner and we begin to look ahead towards brighter days and longer evenings. Soon, with the increasing light, there will be increasing life in our gardens, as the very early flowers of spring begin to show their heads. Light and life tend to go together.

The gospel reading this morning seems to be in harmony with this emergence of light in the natural world. It speaks of the Word that is the true light, a light that shines in the darkness, a light that darkness cannot overpower, a light that enlightens all people. This Word who was the true light became flesh and dwelt among us. Later on in John’s gospel Jesus will say of himself, ‘I am the light of the world, whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life’. Christmas has often been called the Feast of Light. It celebrates the coming of God’s light in the form of a human life, the life of Jesus. Perhaps this is why we light candles at this time of the year and decorate trees with bright lights. At some level we recognize that we are celebrating the feast of a glorious light.

We have all known dark times. Many of us will have struggled with a darkness of spirit, for a whole variety of reasons. Some path we have taken may not have led where we had hoped it would lead. A relationship that was once important to us may have died away. Some profound loss may have taken the heart out of us. An experience of failure of some kind deeply undermined our sense of self-worth. It is above all at such times that we need to hear afresh those words in today’s gospel reading about the true light that enlightens everyone, that shines in the dark and that darkness cannot overpower. This is not a distant light, like a distant star, which requires a sophisticated telescope to even glimpse. No, it is a light that shines from within our human experience, because the Word who was the true light became flesh. He entered fully in every aspect of human life, including its darkest recesses, and shone a powerful light there, the light of God’s presence, the light of God’s love, of God’s life. This morning’s gospel reading proclaims that there is a life-giving light at the core of all human life, even in the darkest and most unpromising of our experiences. The evangelist declares there that he has come to see this divine light above all in the human flesh of God’s Son. Speaking on behalf of the community of faith to which he belongs, he says, ‘we have seen his glory, the glory that is his as the only Son of the Father, full of grace and truth’.

This light which shines so brilliantly in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus has cast its light upon all flesh and continues to shine from within all flesh. What we need are the eyes to see that divine light within us and around us, the presence of the light of the world. Thomas Merton, was a Trappist monk and mystic, whose writings have nourished the faith life of large numbers of men and women of our time. He once wrote about an experience he had as he sat on a bench in the town square, not far from his monastery. As he looked out upon the people of Louisville, Kentucky, coming and going, he saw them in a way he had never seen them before. He suddenly realized, ‘it is a glorious destiny to be a member of the human race though it makes many terrible mistakes... and yet God himself glories in becoming a member of it... it was as if I suddenly saw the secret beauty of their hearts, where neither sin or shadow can reach, the core of their reality, the person that each one is in God’s eyes. If only they could see themselves as they really are. Who will tell them that they are all walking around, shining like the sun?’ Merton realized that these people going about their lives were no less graced, no less enlightened, than his brothers back in the monastery. Because of the Word becoming flesh and dwelling among us, all of our lives are bathed in God’s light, that true light which, in becoming flesh, enlightens all people. The gospel reading promises us that if we welcome that light into our lives we will be empowered to become children of God; we will come to share in Jesus’ own intimate relationship with God.

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Solemnity of the Epiphany of the Lord

Gospel (Except USA)

Matthew 2:1-12

The visit of the Magi

After Jesus had been born at Bethlehem in Judaea during the reign of King Herod, some wise men came to Jerusalem from the east. ‘Where is the infant king of the Jews?’ they asked. ‘We saw his star as it rose and have come to do him homage.’ When King Herod heard this he was perturbed, and so was the whole of Jerusalem. He called together all the chief priests and the scribes of the people, and enquired of them where the Christ was to be born. ‘At Bethlehem in Judaea,’ they told him ‘for this is what the prophet wrote:

And you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, you are by no means least among the leaders of Judah, for out of you will come a leader who will shepherd my people Israel.’

Then Herod summoned the wise men to see him privately. He asked them the exact date on which the star had appeared, and sent them on to Bethlehem. ‘Go and find out all about the child,’ he said ‘and when you have found him, let me know, so that I too may go and do him homage.’ Having listened to what the king had to say, they set out. And there in front of them was the star they had seen rising; it went forward, and halted over the place where the child was. The sight of the star filled them with delight, and going into the house they saw the child with his mother Mary, and falling to their knees they did him homage. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts of gold and frankincense and myrrh. But they were warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, and returned to their own country by a different way.

Gospel (USA)

Matthew 2:1–12

We saw his star at its rising and have come to do him homage.

When Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, in the days of King Herod, behold, magi from the east arrived in Jerusalem, saying, “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star at its rising and have come to do him homage.” When King Herod heard this, he was greatly troubled, and all Jerusalem with him. Assembling all the chief priests and the scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Christ was to be born. They said to him, “In Bethlehem of Judea, for thus it has been written through the prophet:

And you, Bethlehem, land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; since from you shall come a ruler, who is to shepherd my people Israel. ”

Then Herod called the magi secretly and ascertained from them the time of the star’s appearance. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, “Go and search diligently for the child. When you have found him, bring me word, that I too may go and do him homage.” After their audience with the king they set out. And behold, the star that they had seen at its rising preceded them, until it came and stopped over the place where the child was. They were overjoyed at seeing the star, and on entering the house they saw the child with Mary his mother. They prostrated themselves and did him homage. Then they opened their treasures and offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed for their country by another way.

Reflections (7)

(i) Solemnity of the Epiphany of the Lord

We know from our experience that different people can respond in different ways to the same thing, to the same event. What excites one person can trouble another person. Today’s gospel reading puts before us two very contrasting responses to the news that the long-awaited Jewish Messiah had just been born. Astrologers from the East were so excited by this news that they set out on a long journey to find the child so as to pay him homage. King Herod in Jerusalem was so perturbed by the same news that he sought to kill the child. Today on this feast of the Epiphany we are being invited to identify with the response of the astrologers, the wise men, from the East. Their great openness to God’s presence in the world has something to teach us.

These magi, as we often refer to them, were people who were very observant of God’s natural world, in particular that part of God’s natural world that came into view when darkness descended. They observed and studied the stars. They were fascinated by the stars. Yet, they recognized that the stars, for all their splendour, pointed beyond themselves to some more wonderful reality, to God. So, when they heard that God was visiting our world in a new way through a child who had just been born, they set out on a journey to search for that child, following one special star. These exotic figures from the East show us how being attentive to God’s natural world can draw us closer to God. This can happen in different ways for different people. For the wise men it was their fascination with the stars that led them to the true light of the world. For others, the sea can have a similar impact, revealing in some mysterious way the depth and power of God. The redness of a rose spoke of the redeeming death of Christ to the Irish poet, Joseph Mary Plunket. God can speak to us in a variety of ways through the world of nature. The wise men teach us to be attentive and observant of God’s natural world, so that in and through it we may experience the presence of the living God.

There came a point on the journey of the wise men when they needed more that the signs of nature to find the child whom they were seeking. When they came to Jerusalem they had to ask, ‘Where is the infant king of the Jews?’ To make the last short step on their long journey, they needed more than the light of a star. They needed the light of the Scriptures. The chief priests and the scribes who knew the Scriptures were able to point them in the direction of Bethlehem. On our own journey towards the Lord, we too need the light of the Scriptures as well as the light of nature. The Scriptures are a fuller revelation of God than the natural world. It is in and through the Scriptures that we meet God and his Son in a special way. Through the Scriptures God speaks to us in a privileged way. God asks us to listen to his word and to allow our lives to be shaped by what we hear. The wise men allowed themselves to be guided by the Scriptures, as well as by the star. They displayed the kind of responsiveness to God’s word to which we are all called.

Having been moved by the presence of God in nature and in the Scriptures, the wise men came face to face with God in the form of a child newly born to a young couple. The wise men did not worship the star; they did not even worship the Scriptures. But they did worship the child, because they recognized that here in these simple surroundings was Emmanuel, God-with-us. We too worship Emmanuel, and we do so in a special way every time we celebrate the Eucharist. The wise men expressed their worship by offering the child their precious gifts. They gave generously. We too express our own worship of the Lord in the Eucharist by offering him gifts, and the most precious gift we can offer is the gift of ourselves. In the Eucharist we are invited to give ourselves to the Lord, in response to the Lord’s giving of himself to us as bread of life. We say, ‘Here I am. I want to do your will’, in response to his saying to us, ‘This is my body. Take and eat’.

The gospel reading tells us that, after worshipping the child, the wise men returned home by a different way. Their meeting with the infant king of the Jews somehow changed them. After meeting him they took a different path. Their journey away from Bethlehem was different to their journey to Bethlehem. Our own worship of the Lord in the Eucharist will often prompt us to take a different path too. We come to the Eucharist open to being changed in some way by our meeting with the Lord. We are sent out from the Eucharist to follow the way of the Lord more closely.

The magi only came to Bethlehem once. We come to the Eucharist often. We do so because, like the magi, we are seekers. We come to the Eucharist to seek the Lord. In the words of a modern hymn, we want to know him more clearly, to love him more dearly and to follow him more nearly. Our seeking of the Lord is a response to his seeking of us, his calling out to us. We pray on this feast of the Epiphany that we would be as responsive to the Lord’s call as the wise men from the East were.

And/Or

(ii) Solemnity of the Epiphany of the Lord

Going on pilgrimage will always hold an attraction for us. The place towards which we journey will be significant for us, whether it is Jerusalem, Rome, Lourdes, Compostela, or some place more local. However, there is more to a pilgrimage than the destination. There is the journey itself. We journey with other people of faith and on the way we can be greatly graced by our fellow pilgrims. The Lord is to be found not only in the place towards which we journey but also in the people with whom we journey. We tend to make a distinction between a pilgrimage and a holiday. We can put up with certain hardships on a pilgrimage that we would not tolerate on a holiday. We expect that on a pilgrimage there will be times of struggle as well as times of joy. Perhaps at some deep level we recognize that a pilgrimage is a microcosm of our life journey, in a way a holiday is not. As believers we experience our life journey as a pilgrimage. We are journeying towards the Lord, while at the same time the Lord is journeying with us in and through those who journey with us in faith. On the way we will have our joyful moments, when we have a deep sense of the Lord’s presence. We will also have our difficult moments when we may have a sense more of the Lord’s absence. Like Jesus himself, at times we will pray, ‘I bless you Father, Lord of heaven and earth’, and at other times we will pray, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me’.

Today’s readings speak to us of pilgrimage. In the first reading from the prophet Isaiah, there is a wonderful vision of the pagan nations coming on pilgrimage to Jerusalem. The pagan peoples move out from under their darkness, drawn by the light of the Lord’s glory that rises over Jerusalem. They are not really journey to the city but to the Lord, the light of whose glorious presence fills the city; on their way they do not sing the praises of the city of Jerusalem, but the praises of the Lord.

In today’s gospel reading we have a smaller pilgrimage, but one of even greater significance. This is not a pilgrimage to the great city of Jerusalem but a pilgrimage to the small town of Bethlehem. It is this little pilgrimage of ‘some wise men’ ‘from the east’ that brings us together here this morning. Like all pilgrims, these wise men were seekers. They are portrayed as looking up beyond this earth towards the stars, far into deepest space. Looking up and out, they were captivated by one particular star and led by that star they travelled west in search of a new born Jewish child whose birth they had come to hear about. They seem to have understood that this child had come, not just for the Jewish people, but for people like themselves, for all who were seekers after truth and light. As they drew near to their destination, they had a meeting with an earthly king, Herod, who was the antithesis of the infant king whom they were seeking. They brushed against evil in their search for the good; they looked into the face of violence and injustice on their way towards the king who would live and die in the cause of justice and peace. Yet, in spite of that dangerous moment, they reached their goal, and having found the child, they worshipped him, and they expressed their worship by offering him their gifts. Their journey which began in hope ended in worship. Then, we are told, they returned home by a different way.

There are many gospel characters with whom we can find ourselves identifying. Different gospel characters express different dimensions of our human and Christian identity. The wise men from the east speak to the pilgrim within each of us. We may not always be on holidays, but we are always on pilgrimage. We remain pilgrims until the end of our earthly lives. In the words of Paul’s letter to the Philippians, we are always ‘straining towards what lies ahead’, and pressing ‘on towards the goal’. The ‘goal’, ‘what lies ahead’, is not so much a place as a person, the person of Christ. Our ultimate destiny, in the words of Paul’s letter to the Romans, is to be ‘conformed to the image of God’s Son’. Along the way, like the wise men, we too will have our brush with evil in one form or another, but evil need not stop us in our tracks, because, in the words of John’s gospel, we know that ‘the light shines in the darkness’ and the darkness does not overcome it. Like the wise men’s journey, our journey too will end with worship, the worship of the Trinity in heaven, the eternal offering of ourselves to God. Every experience of worship in this life is an anticipation of that final goal. As the wise men offered their gifts to the Lord, at our Eucharistic worship we offer God the gift of our lives, we enter into Christ’s offering of himself. Having made that offering, we too, like the wise men, will be prompted to leave the Eucharist and return by a different way, a way that conforms more fully to the way of Christ. This is the way, the way of Christ, that will eventually lead us to the final goal of our earthly pilgrimage, what today’s second reading calls our ‘inheritance’.

And/Or

(iii) Solemnity of the Epiphany of the Lord

We know from our experience that different people can respond in different ways to the same thing, to the same event. People have very different reactions to the Spire of Dublin. Some consider it to be a wonderfully modern symbol of Dublin at the beginning of the 21st century. Others regard it as a monstrosity and a scandalous waste of money. Today’s gospel reading puts before us two very contrasting responses to the news that the long-awaited Jewish Messiah had just been born. Astrologers from the East were so excited by this news that they set out on a long journey to find the child so as to pay him homage. King Herod in Jerusalem was so perturbed by the same news that he sought to kill the child.

Today on this feast of the Epiphany we are asked to identify with the response of the astrologers, the wise men, from the East. They were people who were very observant of nature, God’s natural world, in particular that dimension of God’s natural world that came into view when darkness descended. They observed and studied the stars. Yet, they were not so fascinated by the stars that they worshipped the stars. They recognized that the stars, for all their splendour, pointed beyond themselves to some more wonderful reality, to God. So, when they heard that God was visiting our world in a new way through a child who had just been born, they set out in search of that child. These exotic figures from the East show us how being attentive to God’s natural world can draw us closer to God. This can happen in different ways for different people. For the wise men it was their fascination with the stars that led them to the true light of the world. The redness of a rose spoke to Joseph Mary Plunket of the redeeming death of Christ. God can speak to us in a variety of ways through the world of nature. The wise men teach us to be attentive and observant of that world, so that in and through it we may experience the presence of the living God.

There came a point on the journey of the wise men when they needed more that the signs of nature to find the child whom they were seeking. When they came to Jerusalem they had to ask, ‘Where is the infant king of the Jews?’ To make the last short step on their long journey, they needed more than the light of a star. They needed the light of the Scriptures. The chief priests and the scribes who knew the Scriptures were able to point them in the direction of Bethlehem. On our own journey towards the Lord, we too need the light of the Scriptures as well as the light of nature. The Scriptures are a fuller revelation of God than the natural world. It is in and through the Scriptures that we meet God in a special way and his Son. St. Jerome, one of the great saints of the church and a Scripture scholar of his time, said that ignorance of the Scriptures is ignorance of Christ. The Scriptures are human writings, a human word. But we believe that they are also God’s word, God’s word in human words. Through the Scriptures God speaks to us in a privileged way. He asks us to listen and to allow our lives to be shaped by what we hear. The wise men allowed themselves to be guided by the Scriptures, as well as by the star. They showed something of that responsiveness to God’s word to which we are all called.

Having been moved by the presence of God in nature and in the Scriptures, the wise men came face to face with God in a child. They did not worship the star; they did not even worship the Scriptures. But they did worship the child, because they recognized that here was Emmanuel, God-with-us. We too worship Emmanuel, and we do so in a special way every time we celebrate the Eucharist, as we are doing today. As the wise men expressed their worship by offering the child their precious gifts, we express our own worship of the Lord in the Eucharist by offering him our lives. We give ourselves to him in response to his giving of himself to us as bread of life. As the Lord says to us: ‘Take, this is my body’, we place ourselves before the Lord, saying: ‘Here I am, I come to do your will’.

The gospel reading tells us that, after worshipping the child, the wise men returned home by a different way. Their meeting with the infant king of the Jews somehow changed them. Their journey from Bethlehem was different to their journey to Bethlehem. Our own worship of the Lord in the Eucharist will prompt us to take a different path too. We come to the Eucharist open to being changed by the Holy Spirit. As we receive the body of Christ, we seek to become more fully the body of Christ in the world. We are sent forth from the Eucharist to follow the way of the Lord more closely. We pray on this feast of the Epiphany that we would be as open to the Lord’s presence and call as the wise men in today’s gospel reading.

And/Or

(iv) Solemnity of the Epiphany of the Lord

This morning three figures of wise men from the East appear in our new crib in Saint Anthony’s chapel. It is the feast of the Epiphany. One of our Christmas banners behind me also gives an artistic impression of the journey of the three wise men. The story in Matthew’s gospel of the journey of the wise men from the east to the child in Bethlehem has always captured the imagination of Christians throughout the centuries. There is something about that story which speaks to us, something about their journey which resonates with us.

They are depicted in the gospel of Matthew as seekers. Even though they were not Jewish themselves, they were aware that the Jewish people were waiting for the coming of a King who would be God’s anointed. They allowed themselves to be caught up in that sense of waiting, that expectation, that searching. They set out on a search for the infant king of the Jews in response to the movement of a star in the heavens. The magi or wise men speak to the searcher, the seeker, within each one of us. The adult Jesus would go on to say, ‘Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened for you’. Although we have encountered the Lord for ourselves, we are all seeking him nonetheless. We remain seekers in that sense until the day comes when we will see the Lord face to face in eternity. In our search for him, the Lord will find ways of drawing us to himself, just as the three wise men were drawn to the child Jesus by a star. The Lord draws us to himself through his Word, through the Sacraments, especially the Eucharist, through each other, and through the natural world in all its wonder and beauty. We are not alone in our search; we are searching with others and the Lord himself is searching for us and drawing us to himself.

According to the gospel reading, when the wise men found the child for whom they had been seeking, the first thing they did was to do him homage; they worshipped him. We gather this morning on the feast of the Epiphany to worship, not to worship the child Jesus, but to worship the risen Lord. Our seeking the Lord will always be punctuated by times of worship, whether it is the church’s official worship, like the Eucharist, or our own personal worship, our own moments of prayer. Indeed it is in times of worship that we seek the Lord most intently. In worship our focus is on the Lord; we submit to him; we surrender ourselves to him. In doing so we are acknowledging that we are not Lord of our own lives, but that he is Lord of our lives. Having worshipped the child Jesus, the wise men then offered him their gifts, precious gifts of the time. We too offer the Lord our gifts and the most precious gift we have to offer him is the gift of our lives. Saint Paul in his letter to the Romans calls on the church in Rome to ‘present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship’. The offering of our lives to God ensures that our whole lives are, in a sense, an act of worship. We offer ourselves to God, to the Lord, by placing ourselves, our gifts, at his disposal, by leaving ourselves open to whatever the Lord may be asking of us.

The gospel reading declares that after the wise men had offered the child Jesus their worship and their gifts they returned to their own country by a different way. The journey back from Bethlehem was different to their journey to Bethlehem, because at Bethlehem they had encountered the Lord. As we seek the Lord, as we worship him and offer him our lives, the Lord will often prompt us to go on by a different way. Our own way never fully corresponds to the Lord’s way. Throughout our lives we hear the call to take a different way, a way that conforms more fully to the Lord’s way. This is the call to ongoing repentance, that continuing turning more fully towards the Lord and his way. The more we seek the Lord, the more we worship him and offer him our lives, the more clearly we will hear that call of the Lord to take a different way.

We have much to learn from the wise men about the meaning of being a following of the Lord. Yet, these travellers from the East were pagans; they were outsiders. They stood at the other end of the spectrum to the chief priests and scribes, mentioned in the gospel reading as advisors to King Herod. The strangers from the East remind us that those who are not part of the believing community, those from far away, in the words of the first reading, can have a great deal to teach us. The Lord can speak to us in strange ways and can draw us to himself through those who seem very foreign to us. Today’s feast invites us, in the words of today’s first reading again, to lift up our eyes and to look around; it calls on us to have a generous vision so that we are open to the many different signs of the Lord’s presence and call, wherever they are to be found.

And/Or

(v) Solemnity of the Epiphany of the Lord

There is something about the journey of the three wise men which resonates with us. They are depicted in the gospel of Matthew as seekers. Even though they were not Jewish themselves, they set out on a search for the infant king of the Jews in response to the movement of a star in the heavens. The magi or wise men speak to the searcher, the seeker, within each one of us. The adult Jesus would go on to say, ‘Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened for you’. Although we have encountered the Lord for ourselves, we are all seeking him nonetheless. We remain seekers until the day comes when we will see the Lord face to face in eternity. In our search for him, the Lord will find ways of drawing us to himself, just as the three wise men were drawn to the child Jesus by a star. The Lord draws us to himself through his Word, through the Sacraments, especially the Eucharist, through each other, and through the natural world in all its wonder and beauty. We are not alone in our search; we are searching with others and the Lord himself is searching for us and drawing us to himself.

According to the gospel reading, when the wise men found the child for whom they had been seeking, the first thing they did was to do him homage; they worshipped him. We gather today on the feast of the Epiphany to worship the risen Lord. Our seeking the Lord will always be punctuated by times of worship, whether it is the church’s official worship, like the Eucharist, or our own personal worship, our own moments of prayer. Indeed it is in times of worship that we seek the Lord most intently. In worship our focus is on the Lord; we submit to him; we surrender ourselves to him. In doing so we are acknowledging that we are not Lord of our own lives, but that he is Lord of our lives. Having worshipped the child Jesus, the wise men then offered him their gifts, precious gifts of the time. We too offer the Lord our gifts and the most precious gift we have to offer him is the gift of our lives. Saint Paul in his letter to the Romans calls on the church in Rome to ‘present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship’. The offering of our lives to God ensures that our whole lives are, in a sense, an act of worship. We offer ourselves to God, to the Lord, by placing ourselves, our gifts, at his disposal, by leaving ourselves open to whatever the Lord may be asking of us.

The gospel reading declares that after the wise men had offered the child Jesus their worship and their gifts they returned to their own country by a different way. As we seek the Lord, as we worship him and offer him our lives, the Lord will often prompt us to go on by a different way. Our own way never fully corresponds to the Lord’s way. Throughout our lives we hear the call to take a different way, a way that conforms more fully to the Lord’s way. This is the call to a continuing turning towards the Lord and his way. The more we seek the Lord, the more we worship him and offer him our lives, the more clearly we will hear that call of the Lord to take a different way.

And/Or

(vi) Solemnity of the Epiphany of the Lord

The story of the magi from the East that we have just heard has inspired artists and poets down through the centuries. In the last century, the poet TS Eliot wrote a poem entitled, ‘The Journey of the Magi’. It begins, ‘A cold coming we had of it, Just the worst time of the year For a journey, and such a long journey: The ways deep and the weather sharp, The very dead of winter’. We celebrate this feast in the very dead of winter, when the days are short and dark. Yet the feast of the Epiphany is very much a feast of light. The word ‘Epiphany’ means ‘manifestation’ or ‘showing forth’. Today’s feast celebrates the shining forth of Emmanuel, God with us, to all who are seeking the face of God, who are searching for truth, looking for meaning and purpose in their lives. The feast of the Epiphany announces that the Christ child is the journey’s end for all such seekers.

The magi from the East are patrons of all who are searching for a greater light and a fuller truth. They are symbols of hope for all who struggle to God by strange routes. The writer Evelyn Waugh wrote a prayer to the magi for one of his fictional characters which catches something of this hope: ‘You are my especial patrons, and patrons of all latecomers, of all who have a tedious journey to make to the truth, of all who are confused with knowledge and speculation’. It is likely that by using the term ‘magi’ Matthew intended scholars who studied the stars, and who, in contemplating the heavens, sought the God of heaven and earth. They hoped that the language of the stars would speak to them of God. So it was that when one unusual star appeared, they followed it, believing it would lead them to a new born child who was the long awaited King of the Jews, God’s anointed one. Their journey was driven by a question, which they put to the inhabitants of Jerusalem on arriving in that great city, ‘Where is the infant king of the Jews?’ Often it is our questions that bring us closer to the Lord. The question, ‘Where is Jesus to be found?’ is one of the deeper questions of life. People have always asked that question. They may not ask it in that form, but they ask ‘Where is truth to be found?’ ‘Where is light and life to be found?’ They are, in reality, seeking the one who said of himself, ‘I am the truth; I am the light; I am the life’. The magi are their patrons. They are patrons of us all because we all remain seekers until that day when we pass over from this life and come to see the Lord face to face. As Saint Augustine said, ‘our hearts are restless, until they rest in God’.

The magi were led to Bethlehem by a star. There is always a star that guides us towards Bethlehem. The Lord will find ways of drawing us towards himself, if we are genuinely searching for him. The Lord drew the magi to himself from within their own experience; they were stargazers and it was through the stars that he spoke to them. The Lord will speak to us too from within our particular set of experiences, if we have ears to hear. Yet, as the Lord draws us towards himself, there will be other forces that seek to draw us away from the Lord. The magi discovered this for themselves. As they came closer to their final destination, they encountered people who were not genuine seekers after truth, Herod, the representative of the political power, and his allies, the chief priests and scribes. When Herod asked, ‘where is Jesus to be found?’, where the King of the Jews was to be born, it was out of fear that here was someone who might threaten his own status as King of the Jews. His hypocrisy is evident is his invitation to the magi to return to him and tell him all about the child so that he may worship him. On our journey towards the Lord, we will inevitably encounter our own version of Herod and his entourage. That is why Jesus teaches us to pray, ‘lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil’

When these strangers from the East finally reached the child whom they had been seeking, they worshipped him, and they placed at his service their most valuable treasures. They invite us to ask of ourselves, ‘Before whom do we kneel in worship?’ ‘Do we live worshipping the child of Bethlehem?’ ‘Do we place at his feet our own possessions, our resources and gifts?’ It is said of the magi that, having encountered the child, they returned to their country by a different way. The treasure they received from this child was more precious than the gifts they brought and it changed their lives forever; they went home different people. Any genuine encounter with the Lord will always change us in some fundamental way. The conclusion of Eliot’s poem captures this truth, ‘We returned to our places, these kingdoms, But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation, With an alien people clutching their gods’.

And/Or

(vii) Solemnity of the Epiphany of the Lord

The gospel story that lies behind today’s feast has captured the imagination of people throughout history. Artists and storytellers have been inspired by it, as have poets. There is even an operetta inspired by this story, called Amahl and the Night Visitors. The story of the three wise men speaks to the imagination of children. Perhaps one of the reasons why this story speaks so powerfully to us and appeals so strongly to us is that we recognize something of ourselves in this story.

How would Matthew, the evangelist, have understood these strangers from the East. The gospel story does not refer to them as kings. That was a later interpretation. The gospel story also doesn’t say that there were three. This was a deduction from the fact that three gifts were offered to the child Jesus. The evangelist refers to them as magi, men who had some expertise in the area of astrology or astronomy. Such people were often associated with Persia, far to the East of Israel. Their fascination with the stars could strike a cord with people of all faiths and no faith. I have never seen a sky at night from a desert where the air is totally clear and there is no light. That would have been a much more common experience in the time and place of Jesus. The stars exercised an endless fascination for people. Many explored the world of the stars for some understanding of what was happening on earth. It was commonly believed, for example, that the birth or death of some significant leader was marked by an unusual phenomenon in the heavens, such as the appearance of a comet. For the evangelist, these magi were seekers. They were exploring the heavens to better understand the world of human beings. They were seekers after truth. We might struggle to identify with kings. Very few people get to be kings. Yet, we would find it easy to identify with seekers after truth, understanding, wisdom. We are all seekers in that sense. We want to know the truth about ourselves, about others, about our world, about God. We are always on a journey towards the truth. We never fully grasp it in this life; it is always to some extent beyond us.

The magi’s search for the truth eventually brought them to the child of Bethlehem, to the one who, as an adult, said of himself, ‘I am the truth’ and who declared, ‘If you continue in my word… you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free’. The ultimate goal of our search for the truth is also the child of Mary and Joseph who is now our risen Lord. Our whole life is a journey towards that fullness of truth which is revealed in Jesus. He reveals to us the truth about ourselves as human beings, the truth about this earthly life and the heavenly life beyond it, and the truth about God. When the magi reached the end of their long journey, when they saw the child and his mother, their initial response was to worship the child, ‘falling to their knees, they did him homage’. Our journey’s end, which lies beyond this earthly life, will also be one great act of worship. Every act of worship during our journey towards that final destination is a foretaste of that eternal worship in heaven. The second action of the wise men when they reached their journey’s end was to give him the gifts that were most precious to them. Our own journey’s end in eternity will also be an act of self-giving. Our worship will be so pure that it will entail the giving of ourselves completely to the Lord. We will have the freedom to give back to God everything God has given us. In the course of our earthly journey, every time we generously give back to God what God has given to us, through our service of others, we are anticipating that eternal moment of self-giving.

There is much about the journey of these magi from the East with which we can identify, not least their struggle to reach their goal. Their journey from the East to Bethlehem was not a straight path. It had twists and turns. Along the way they encountered someone who wanted to destroy the very truth for which they had been so earnestly seeking. When King Herod heard of the arrival in Jerusalem of these strangers from the East, looking for the infant King of the Jews, alarm bells rang for him. He was the only King of the Jews. He summoned the wise men, and played games with them. He pretended he wanted to worship the child, when, in reality, he wanted to kill him. Here was untruth personified. Yet, Herod could not stop God’s epiphany. On our own journey towards the Lord, we too will encounter forces that are hostile to our search for Jesus, the truth. Our faith will be put to the test. Yet, we can be confident that if we keep our eyes fixed on the Lord, he will bring us to our destination. In the words of Paul’s letter to the Romans, nothing ‘in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord’.

Fr. Martin Hogan.

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idolizerp · 5 years

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LOADING INFORMATION ON ATLAS’ MAIN RAP NO GUNWOO...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: Gun CURRENT AGE: 24 DEBUT AGE: 20 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 16 COMPANY: KJH SECONDARY SKILL: Music production (hip-hop and r&b)

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): gun pd and dj gun (both from his two main career interests, producing and radio hosting), 단호건/danhogun (a play on his name and danhobak, because he’s stern/decisive), 총우/chongwoo (gun in korean + the second syllable of his full first name), 노센스/no sense (play on his surname and the fact that he has no variety sense), 건담/gundam (play on his name and a popular character that he has a moderate collection of) INSPIRATION: several older hip-hop groups and artists that he started listening to back when he was younger, most notably epik high and tiger jk and a plethora of western artists. he says he felt really connected to the music and wanted to make his own that other people could connect to as well. SPECIAL TALENTS:

freestyle rapping

playing songs on piano by ear (simplistic versions)

good at random games like 딱지/ttakji, 공기/gonggi, and 제기차기/jegichagi (he attributes this to the fact that his little sister always wanted to play them)

NOTABLE FACTS:

prior to atlas’ debut, he released a few solo tracks and mixtapes that were moderately successful in the local underground scene

can play the piano, has learned it since he was six, mostly self-taught with a few lessons here and there

he’s very handy, can assemble and fix a lot of random furniture/appliances and things of that nature

his moderate collection of gundam collectibles started due to fans gifting them in the beginning, but he started buying them on his own after as well and has them in display cases in his studio

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

after his solo debut as atlas’ gun essentially flopped a few years back before they really blew up, he wants to attempt another solo release. now that there are a lot more eyes on them, he really wants to show off more of his personal work. in addition, he’s always wanted to be a radio dj and after hosting a few as a special guest, he wants his own radio show in the near future.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

funny enough, despite his short term solo goal, gun’s love for performing live has been fading the more popular atlas gets. getting on stage and hearing screams is still one of his favorite parts of the job, but the side-effects that it comes with (the lack of privacy and stalker fans, the public scrutiny and pressure, the insane work hours and ridiculous amount of traveling, the way his career has become his entire life, etc.) are starting to outweigh all the positives. so, in a way, his long term goal is to get away from all that once atlas is done. he still wants to work with music, but he’d much rather be behind the scenes as a producer and lyric-writer, as opposed to an active performer.

IDOL IMAGE

no gunwoo -- no, gun, is atlas' stone, atlas' rock in more ways than one.

he is: rough around the edges.

they tell him not to lose his daegu accent, not entirely. to let it slip on purpose more often than not. to not let people forget that he's just a country boy at heart who had a dream, a passion for music and risked it all by coming to seoul to pursue it. they say not to censor himself too much, either, let a cuss word or two slip every now and then, let his face betray all his emotions sometimes, even negative ones when he's annoyed or angry or confused or sad. if you're feeling down, post some thoughts on the fan café, maybe go live. obviously, they say not to do it too much or at the wrong time, but just enough to give off the feeling that he's genuine, unpolished, not some cookie cutter idol. he won't be relatable by any means, but real. believably flawed like anyone else. just a daegu boy who happens to rap because he wants to.

he is: stubborn. or, in nicer terms, strong-willed. immovable.

he's the poster boy for 'if you just work hard and take risks you can do anything you want'. from the country to seoul, from no one to someone, from giving up his artistic integrity for the first few years of their career to risking his entire life to get it back and not backing down, not caring who he threw under the bus. in the end, gun seems to have gotten everything he's wanted and they leverage that, too.

of course, atlas as a whole stands for hard work making the dream work, but gun's inherent stubbornness is played up just that much more. like when they tell him to talk about how long he takes to produce tracks sometimes because he won't let it go until it's exactly how he imagined it. or to talk about how he couldn't dance worth a damn and almost got kicked out of the tentative lineup, but, well, look at him now. he still can't quite dance anywhere near as well as the rest of the group, but that's fine, they say. that's all part of it too, because now his ability to follow choreography as well as he can is the product of pure hard work with no natural talent to back it up.

he is: foundation.

when it comes to atlas' music (post 2015), gun is a large part of the foundation it lies upon. he's not the only one, of course, but he is often the one they turn to when questions about their music come up. about the concept. about the lyrics. about the meaning behind it all and the process with which they came up with it. they tell him to go all out, go ahead and answer with technical terms to show he has a deep understanding. this is what he threatened to leave for, after all, so he may as well make use of it. show the people that there was good reason kjh yielded, that he knows what he's talking about. that atlas' music is good because "of course, the members helped write the lyrics" or "of course, the members helped produce it" or "as expected of self-producing atlas~"

he is: well grounded.

with gun, what you see is what you get. he is confident sometimes veering on cocky, he is decisive often veering stubborn. he is real, genuine, flawed, human, just with a particularly strong passion for music. at least, that's the vibe they want him to give off. a real, serious musician.

it's a precarious image, to say the least, still manufactured in its supposed genuineness. an image he has trouble balancing because sometimes he's not quite sure anymore where gun ends and gunwoo begins.

(if he begins anywhere at all anymore).

IDOL HISTORY

FATE PANN TITLE: WOW THEY 'RE REALLY GONNA LET THIS GUY DEBUT? ㅡㅡ

let me start with my proof: i went to school with this b*stard, here's my school id and here's my picture in our yearbook and here's no gunwoo's picture. he looks exactly the same ㅋㅋ

anyway, wow i heard he ran off to seoul but i didn't know it was so that he could train to be an idol... f*ck, this guy used to curse at idol groups all the time and now he's going to be one? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ i hope his group f*cking flops

he was just annoying? he always made stupid jokes during class and would get so pissed when he actually got in trouble for it. he cleaned our classroom almost all year round because he really got in trouble that much. and he was just such an a*shole so he got into fights a lot even though he was so skinny ㅋㅋㅋ

but yeah that's all i have to say for now~ i just thought it was annoying that someone who cursed at idol groups so much is now becoming one because ah... i still remember when he spilled his water on my precious midnight album ㅡㅡ

no gunwoo is born in daegu in the middle of winter and spring and this sets the tone for his childhood.

he is the middle child, the awkward transition, the unwanted and accidental. the classic case of the second child of three. he's born when his parents are hoping for a daughter after already having a son, and that foundation of disappointment never seems to disappear as he grows up. everything he does pales in comparison to his hyung of 2 years if his parents have anything to say about it, and this quickly takes a toll.

everything becomes a competition and he's already two years behind. so he just tries that much harder, at least in the beginning. his grades are good, and at six he picks up the piano after minwoo picks it up too. none of it matters, though, because minwoo is first in his grade and can play their mom's favorite classical music while gunwoo's stuck in the middle once again and his little hands can only do so much on the piano keys.

even when gunwoo rises in class rank and bikes back home to their little farm on the edge of the province excitedly to tell them, minwoo's already there with an award for some math competition and a sign-up form for another one waiting for their signature. even when he's now eight and has practiced piano at his grandparent's house for the past year almost every evening to play his mom's favorite songs, minwoo's already there telling them about a recital he's been asked to play at.

he's always two years too late and his parent's don't expect anything from him. gun is ten years old when he learns how to accept that.

he stops studying in the library after school and explores the city with friends instead. his street smart grows while his grades drop, and his parents just act like they've known it all along, that they're just proving him right, that, as expected, he can't amount to anything anyway.

soon enough, anger replaces his desparation for their approval.

he acts up in class and comes home late, he starts fights and comes home with cuts and scrapes and bloody bandaids, he finds hip-hop music that sounds like what he feels and the seed is planted, watered every day until it blooms later in his life.

the only thing that stays constant is his love for piano and his little sister. jiwoo, at least, has always been the light brightening up the shadow behind minwoo he stands in. the only one whose eyes sparkles when he plays her favorite songs for her, who congratulates him when he comes home with good news, who is happy, proud even, to be his family. he's just three years older, but he likes to claim he's raised her as much as his parents have, has protected her more than they have (if the guy that ended up with a damn near broken nose has anything to say about it).

and so jiwoo is the reason he still holds onto the name gunwoo to this day, but it's also jiwoo who helps him become gun.

FATE PANN TITLE: DOES ANYONE ELSE KNOW WHO THIS GUY IS?

i went to hongdae this weekend and saw this guy busking there, he looked really young but i was so impressed with his rapping??? i waited around until he was done to talk to him a bit and i found out he's a kjh trainee! his name is gun and he's seriously so impressive for his age.. i was shocked when i found out he's the same age as my seventeen year old little brother... ㅠㅠ

anyway, if anyone else wants to listen to his music he has a soundcloud and he's posted a few of his tracks on there! i'll link it here ~ soundcloud.com/n0gun

when gunwoo is fourteen, the seed blossoms. his love for hip-hop evolves into something more than just an interest in the music, but in an interest for the process of creating it, too. performing it, writing lyrics, producing the beats.

he spends the time he used to spend studying and playing piano penning his own lyrics to already made songs. he picks up odd jobs from his neighbors and from the grandmas he’s gotten to know in the city to pocket as much under-the-table income he can come by and buys second-hand music equipment he can then call his own. he uses free online tutorials to teach himself how to use the software then just goes at it. he creates and creates and creates.

it's all rough, of course, but it's something. it's his and his only. it's something his brother's never done before and it's something he loves, something he's done for his own personal interest only, something he wants to keep doing.

he's sixteen when jiwoo shows him a way for him to keep doing it by way of a kjh audition flyer. he resents the idea of becoming an idol, but after one particularly bad argument with his dad gets all of his hard-earned music equipment thrown out the window and broken beyond repair, he bikes into the city, into an audition he’d been subconsciously been preparing for for years.

when they present him with an offer, he signs right away.

when he presents the same to his parents, they sign even quicker.

to get him out of their lives, he assumes. but not without one last comment about how he would probably fail this too, anyway.

he tries to forget their words when he moves up to seoul, tries to ignore it, but it stays with him for years

otherwise, the move to seoul is just as difficult. miles away from all his friends and jiwoo and the city streets he knows by heart, the river, the isolated farm, he feels more alone in the most populated city of the country.

so he throws himself into training. they all do, of course. but for the second half of his teenage life, it is almost all he knows. the company makes it clear that their next group will have a heavy focus on their dancing, and gunwoo is anything but a dancer. what takes others minutes takes him hours to learn. he gets frustrated easy, remembers those words he keeps trying to forget, and it's the anger that boils every time he remembers them that motivates him to never stop. he practices in the tiny dorm until others tell him to shut up. he sits outside the doors, the windows of dance classes provided at other dance studios that he can’t afford and tries to mimic them on his own time. he stays up at night with his stomach grumbling and his eyes heavy producing song after song after song to show the company that he has something to bring to the group, despite his weakness.

it never gets easy, but it becomes routine and seoul is no longer scary. no longer lonely. he finds friends, he finds his passion in music like he’s never done before and with proper equipment and training at his disposal, he prospers.

he busks at hongdae, he performs at café open mic nights, he throws together a soundcloud account and gives himself the stagename gun. he posts tracks whenever he can and when he posts his first mini mixtape at eighteen, the response is more than he expects. it’s nothing much in the grand scheme of things, but it gets passed around a little, and when he requests to book performances, some organizers recognize his name, his music. it’s euphoric, getting on stage and hearing a few people sing along to his lyrics. his music. his work. it fuels him, drives him to release another mixtape the following year to the same amount of moderate success, drives him to train, train, train because if this is what it feels like to be on stage, to make everyone know your name, then so be it.

he’ll be an idol.

he'll be gun. if gunwoo is fated for failure, at least gun doesn't seem to be.

FATE PANN TITLE: DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THIS GUY FROM THOSE PICTURES OF VIXEN?

i heard from my uncle's friend that he's a trainee at kjh and he really did date one of the members. i can't say which member, but i'm sure everyone can guess which one~ apparently, aside from the main rapper's mess... another reason kjh dropped vixen was because of all those pictures and rumors about him dating that vixen member.

kjh is about to debut his group soon and they wanted to make sure his name's not attached to someone like her ㅋㅋ so they're just getting rid of the group entirely ㅋㅋ kjh is really sly... i bet they made them break up too or something like that~ it's funny though, this guy's already making trouble and he hasn't debuted yet... kjh is really a mess right now aren't they

that is, until he makes a bit of a mess and even gun is at risk of failing.

he does as he's always done and breaks the rules. specifically, he dates. and not only that, but he dates one of the company's active idols. his own debut is right around the corner around when they're caught and vixen is already in a mess of their own. there's talk about dropping him from the lineup entirely, but they do the opposite instead. all the rumors about him and the vixen member are just that anyway, rumors with blurry photographic proof that can easily be denied and they'd already been on the verge of disbanding all of vixen.

so, they take this chance and do. they keep gun on track to debut (with a tighter leash around him now) and try to drown out all his rumors, then disband vixen instead.

this is the first real taste he gets of the company's stronghold on him and his anger starts heating slowly within him again.

he stays, though, because what else does he have?

FATE PANN TITLE: CAN YOU GUYS BELIEVE KJH WENT FROM VIXEN TO THIS?????

i was a fan of that gun guy's old mixtapes before so i was looking forward to his debut but... what is this sh*t... ah, why did he have to debut as an idol, what a waste.. the group seems so f*cking try hard...

maybe because i knew of him before but gun especially made me cringe, he was trying too hard to seem cool but ㅋㅋㅋ his chain necklaces look like they weighed more than him....

after the mess is cleaned up and atlas debuts, he gets to keep his stage name because it fits their image at the time and with his moderate success at least around the hongdae scene, they think it may bring in some fans.

they're wrong.

when he sees their debut concept, he’s –

well, he’s upset. but he’s an idol, so what can he do but go along with it?

the seeds of doubt have already been planted, though, and they only grow the more they prep. the choreography is hard, the styling feels gimmicky, and the music video does too. it feels like everything he never wanted to do, it feels like tarnishing what he’s done so far as gun underground, and it just feels. miserable. he feels miserable.

useless, too, like his father always said. because nothing he suggests gets taken into account, waved off instead. because he’s just a prop, or at least that’s what he feels like and everything in him sinks.

they debut the day after he turns twenty to little fanfare but plenty of criticism, those who were fans of his mixtapes commenting he’s sold himself out, that they’re not looking forward any longer. he agrees.

but he’s an idol.

he performs on stage because that’s his job, but the euphoria isn’t there like it had been underground. replaced instead with some sinking feeling he doesn’t know how to define at twenty years old. doesn’t know how to get rid of except with anger, with alcohol.

his drinking starts with just a shot or two of soju upon returning to the dorms, snuck into his room and hidden from their managers. then shots turn into bottles, and dorms turn into convenience store fronts. then his anger bleeds into his work environment and some staff leave blind items about him on pann.

no one ever guesses his name, though, because who is atlas anyway?

two years into their career and the public still refuses to respond well to their releases. two years, and the company still refuses to listen to his, and the other atlas members’, ideas. and so two years is how long it takes for gun and the rest of atlas’ rap line to band together and threaten for what they’ve wanted the most, what gun has always dreamed of: having more creative control with the group direction.

it’s a huge risk, he and the other boys know this. going behind the other half of the group’s backs, risking their contracts, their livelihoods, their chance in this industry because if they fail they know there’s no chance in hell anyone will take them in anymore. but it’s a risk they’re willing to take, and one that pays off massively, because to their surprise: they get what they want.

and the public loves it too.

suddenly, they’re thrust right into the spotlight.

suddenly, there’s more responsibility shoved onto his shoulders.

but gun loves it, thrives in it. the stage feels better, now, the feeling he’s missed from all those years ago returning in full force. the music feels good, too, the lyrics. because they’re now actually his in part, songs he can proudly put his name on, songs he will gladly ramble on and on about on vlives and interviews.

there’s a crack in the atlas infrastructure, but gun thinks it’s all been worth it. even if they are running a marathon now, and have been for three straight years. it’s not without consequences, of course. what used to just be small pann rumors and blind items of some nobody idol being an asshole to work with, or of some nobody idol supposedly dating around the stylists and flirting with fans, with other idols and every girl he ever collaborates with are now rumors of an idol everyone in the business knows and have become very real threats to the image he and atlas have built up.

now the pressure and stress keeps building and building, weighing heavier with not only the threat of those rumors blowing up, but now also with every new milestone reached, every comeback, ever growing expectation.

and so slowly but surely, the euphoria fades again, replaced with worry, with burden, with feelings of not being able to meet impossible expectations. with his parents words from all those years ago resurfacing and reminding him that he's never good enough.

now, it’s only a matter of time before gun cracks, because even atlas shrugged while holding the weight of the world.

#id.bio #id.atlas #id.kjh #id.min yoongi

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