#and I also objectively understand that 2600 is a lot more than 600 but *emotionally* the two sums are the same to me

[xieyaohuan]

I am officially fucked now that I've experienced business class on a transcontinental flight because I've been looking at flights for a trip where I need to pay my own way, and the moment I see that economy costs more than EUR 600 my brain immediately switches to "Well then I might as well pay the EUR 2600 for a business flight!"

I blame it on growing up piss poor. In my mind, EUR 600 and EUR 2600 are roughly the same because they both are "a shit ton of money"/"more than I should ever spend on anything," so my brain tells itself "why should I fly economy for 'a lot of money' if I can also fly sooo much more comfortably for the exact same price of 'also a lot of money?'"

I have to force myself to subtract 600 from 2600, and then I can see that the difference is 2000 (which in my brain has the same value as 600 and 2600 in that it is also "more than I should ever spend on anything"), and then my brain understands I can actually save "a lot of money" by flying economy.

#personal #this probably sounds insane and it is #but I lived off of only euro 400 per month (including rent and all utilities) for a reeeally long time #I could not afford to buy clothes until I was 29 when I got my first good job and lived exclusively off of clothes donations #so I still have a hard time understanding the differences between all sums larger than 500 #it's a huge mental barrier and not at all rational and I fully understand this #and I also objectively understand that 2600 is a lot more than 600 but *emotionally* the two sums are the same to me #and it means that 99% of the time I'm super stingy #and then occasionally I splurge in really insane ways #In many ways this is a first world problem and really dumb but it also comes from poverty trauma and feels like a bit of a disability #aaaaanyway