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angelltheninth · 6 months

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The Lion King's Fangs

Pairing: Leona Kingscholar x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, developing relationship, hurt/comfort, protectiveness, getting into fights, soothing kisses, growling, confessions, threats

Word count: 2.4k

Flufftober Day 19: Keeping Someone Safe

A/N: This flufftober prompt really got me going, Leona is perfect for it.

Being part of Leona’s Pride was full of positives. Maybe not many would think so because of his usually rude and holier then though attitude but it was all just surface level things. No many bothered to try to look underneath so of course they had the wrong idea of him. He was loud when he wanted to be, he could dominate room with just a glance and he held himself in very high regard due to his royal status. You hate to admit it but you were one of those people who thought he was just an asshole. That was way before you were placed in the same Dorm and got to know your Dorm Leader better, before the rumors started too.

Leona was used to rumors about him, he’d been used to them since he was little. They used to bother him a lot more back then, but now he couldn’t care less about the things people say about him. They could think what they want, in fact if they’re scared of him they’re more likely to leave him alone.

On the other hand there was you, who was never involved in much gossip. You would hear things about the Dorm Leaders just like everyone else, you knew which ones were more or less approachable, Leona was not on the approachable list so you stayed in your own lane. When you joined the Savanaclaw dorms you noticed a lot more people talking about you, well you and one other person: Leona Kingscholar.

The rumors didn’t bother you much at first, but they did allow you to see a whole other side of Leona that you hadn’t seen before. The more people talked the closer he stuck to you, it was both a blessing and a curse in your case.

Blessing because you got to see that he wasn’t actually all that scary to be around. He was a bit of a softie underneath all that rough exterior, but that part of him was very well hidden, mostly coming out when he’d ask you to keep watch while he took a nap. Leona talked in his sleep a lot, he talked about you too, his mumbling made your heart skip a beat more than once in a day.

“She’s walking out of the gardens again with that blush on her face. They must be-”

“Hey! Quiet down, you how much he hates the rumors. Kingscholar clearly doesn’t want anyone knowing about it if they have to sneak around.” Another student commented to the first, both trying not to look in your direction and failing.

“Not a very well kept secret.” The two may have thought you weren’t able to hear them but you heard every word they said. Some were quieter than the others but eventually every rumor made it’s way to you and Leona.

Worst part was that they weren’t true at all. There was nothing happening between the two of you except for friendship. You helped him out with exams sometimes but that was it. Or more accurately you helped him stay focused on studying for them. Leona’s room was quite a way from yours so he would always walk you back, often late at night, which didn’t make the gossip any better.

You tried not to let it get to you and go about your day as usual.

Classes were usually the calmest period for you, it was what came after that was the problem. Leona liked to wait for you along with Ruggie and Jack, and then walk back to the dorms. “Have a good time in class today?” Ruggie was the most talkative of the group, walking backwards, hands behind his head, not a care in the world.

“It was fine. I’m more worried about next week.”

“Ugh. Exams. Don’t remind me.” Leona yawned already feeling boredom setting in.

Jack was the furthest up front, only his ears showing he was listening. He was also the one who took studies seriously, other then you so he appreciated having the extra helping hand. “You’re the one who should be reminded the most.”

“Huh? What was that? Think I’m dumb? I don’t need anyone’s help to pass.” Leona shouted all too loud, all eyes on the four of you.

“Bet he wants a helping hand from her.” A guy commented to one of his buddies while the other made a crude pumping gesture. Both Ruggie and Jack scoffed at their behavior and looked at you. You tried not to pay them any mind, but it was getting increasingly more difficult the more vulgar their words became. Leona’s ears twitched uncomfortably at them.

Yes, you did help Leona study, but that was all that ever happened, studying. The fact that he would pat you on the head after or buy you lunch the next day were completely separate issues, even his flirting was never that serious, he enjoyed teasing you like a cat would a mouse. Clearly that wasn’t how everyone else saw it.

Leona looked down at you, at your red ears and the way you chewed on your bottom lip and gripped your bag, he knew you didn’t find any of it funny, and neither did he. Teasing was fine, but there are lines that should not be crossed with his Pride, this was one of them.

“Wanna say that again?” Leona stopped abruptly and turned to glare at the group.

“Leona, it’s fine, it doesn’t- let’s just leave.” You whispered to him as you grabbed the bottom of his uniform. This was gonna make more of a scene then it already was. With the kind of reputation Leona already had, that he got into fights, verbal and physical, he didn’t need to add anything to his record, and neither did you. “They’re just talking.”

“They’re being disrespectful. You, tough guy, come over and apologize!” No one insulted his friends, no matter what that was the one rule he always upheld.

The group shrugged among themselves and one of them approached, “Oh I think the little lady can speak for herself hm? We’re just saying what she’s thinking. Everyone here knows that the only reason she joined the dorm was cause of you. Isn’t that right?” He all but leered at you while he spoke. Everyone could tell this was about to get ugly so they stayed away as much as they could, not wanting to get involved in the conflict.

Not that you blamed them, if you weren’t Leona’s friend you’d stay away too.

You could hear him growling, clenching his teeth, his fists shaking with anger at the assumptions made. “Leona, leave him, come on man, he’s not worth the time.” Jack put his hand on Leona’s shoulder while Ruggie closed in on you, standing protectively behind you.

“Oh come on, his Highness can finally stop chasing, he’s finally got someone chasing after him. Must feel nice for you.” Now even the guy’s friends looked weary and Leona, he looked ready to kill.

“Motherfucker.” Leona started marching toward him, fists clenched at his sides, “I’m gonna- ow! Fuck!” You acted as fast as you could, pulled him back by the first thing you could grab: his tail, his weak spot. “Ouch!” Leona snatched it back from you with a growl.

“Or maybe she’s the one who as you wrapped around her finger. And here everyone thought you only like her cause she does whatever you tell her to like a puppy.” A hard fist connected to his face before you could hold Leona back, in fact judging by the deep green fury in his eyes, nothing could hold him back now.

Except for the Principal who broke up the fight almost as soon as it started but Leona still managed to get a few punches in. Upon examining the situation it was determined that he was indeed provoked, but both parties had detention for the rest of the month. This was a better outcome then being suspended, and it was likely done because Leona had already failed this exam quite a few times before.

“You shouldn’t have fought with that guy. He was being a jerk, it’s not I haven’t dealt with those before. Besides it got you in trouble with the Principal too.” Leona didn’t try to shoo you away when you brought the first aid kit over and started wrapping up his hands. His had a bruise too, right next to his lip, but it wasn’t that bad compared to the other guy. “But… thank you, for standing up for me. You didn’t have to get violent though.”

“It was the only language guys like him understand. Once they’ve been put in their place they’re quiet. I made an example out of him, that’s all there is to it. He deserved it anyways, for all the shit he was saying about you. Has this been a thing? You know, for a while now?” Your hands paused as they tied the final knot on the bandages. You didn’t look at him but could feel the heat of his emerald eyes on you. “So it has. How long? Who was it? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because they don’t know what they’re talking about.” It was a lousy excuse but it didn’t seem like something that you needed to bother him with, “It’s just rumors Leona. They’ll pass as soon as they find something else to talk about.”

He narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips together, immediately hissing at the stinging bruise, “You should have told me. I don’t like you getting treated like that. You’re in my Dorm now, so your well-being is my responsibility too. I may not be next in line to be King but I know how to take care of my own.” Leona’s features softened as he took your hand in his and brought it to his lips, “Next time, when something like that happens, you come straight to me okay? That’s an order.”

It was things like this that blurred the lines between friendship and something more between you two. You couldn’t blame others for thinking you were his girlfriend when he sometimes acted very much like a boyfriend would, it confused you a great deal.

“Your heart’s racing.” He grinned a sharp toothy smile, “Do you like it when I act protective over you?”

“Huh? Where did that come from?! What? Why are you- don’t change the subject now!” You could feel your face getting hot at his words and actions. You were used to Leona’s teasing but it never came directly after something as adrenaline inducing as a fight.

“I heard the rumors too you know, that we’re dating or sleeping together or whatever. Never figured it’d be taken to this degree, usually when people gossip about me they shut the fuck up the moment they notice me. This was the first time someone’s had the balls to throw words like that in my face. I could have taken that if that was all there was. But not when he insulted you too. You’re… important to me.” Leona moved his lips from your hand to your wrist where he pressed another kiss. “I like it when we spend time together, I don’t want to stop hanging out with you because of silly rumors.”

“Oh.” If possible your face grew even hotter at his protective stance and the admission that he enjoyed your company a lot. It almost sounded like a… “Is this a confession? Is the great Leona Kingscholar confessing?”

His ears flickered back and forth, eyes widening. He wasn’t about to be backed into a corner by you, teased by you, he was supposed to be the cool one here. He was the one who got into a fight for you, opened up to you, and now he’s the one getting teased? Not on his watch. Leona grabbed you with both hands, your wrists secured in his grip and pulling you forward and making you stumble, almost colliding with him, “What if I was?” His half-hooded eyes drifted down to your lips, his parting with a smirk, approaching your shaking ones. “Would you want to do a different kind of weekend study session? I can be a great teacher for certain things.” With inches left between your lips you had moments to decide the outcome.

This might be your only chance to kiss him, even if it was a joke on his part, why not take it?

You leaned forward, closing those last inches between you and pressed your lips against his. He wasn’t surprised at all, which meant that his words earlier weren’t a joke either. And the reason he reacted the way he had was… “You like me?”

“Stupid. Think I get into a fist fight just like that? I’m not a complete brute.” His hands dropped from your wrists to the small of your back where he locked his fingers together.

“But the way you spoke earlier…”

“I care about my friends. But I don’t get into fights for them. Maybe I would if it ever came to that, but you’re the only one… fuck… I feel like an idiot having to explain this. This is why I don’t like talking to people about this sensitive shit.” This sensitive shit being his emotions of course.

You knew how guarded he was, and how easy it was to make him close in on himself so you took his approach instead, “Okay. Then we won’t.” Leona perked up almost right away and started leaning in for the second kiss, “Until you pass the exams next week. That should give you plenty of time to sort things out.” You wiggled out of his arms while he stood there stunned, eyes wide and mouth hanging open at being… rejected? Postponed?

“What?” It wasn’t often that Leona was confused by someone’s behavior, this was one of those moments, “Don’t you like me back?”

“Yes, I do. But I’m not gonna… do things with you until I know where you stand on this. If I do then… what did you get into that fight for? It would prove them right.” As hard as it was to go on with the scheduled study session you had to power though it. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not gonna make me kiss you.”

Leona tilted his head to show you the bruise on the side of his lips, “Sure about that? I took this punch for you.” He wiggled his eyebrows a little but got nowhere because you turned around fast, ignoring the rapid heartbeat in your chest and how much you did in fact want to kiss him. You were also reminded of why you thought he was a pompous jerk. But alas he was a lovable pompous jerk.

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theminecraftbee · 4 months

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"Well hello there Secret Keeper!" Scar says, chipper. "It's a bea-ut-i-ful day today here on the Secret Life server, and I'm here for my daily hearts for winning! I have to say, it is gorgeous today. Really a lot easier to keep the rain away without other players, what with sleeping through the night not being a problem at all! Did you know, by the way, that sleeping and rain are connected? I didn't until recently, but by golly, they sure are! Can you imagine? The world is full of so many strange things."

The Secret Keeper, being a big dumb stone statue, doesn't reply. Scar's beginning to think it's just rude. It sure replies whenever he hits the button, which is the first step in his morning routine these days. He's gotten better at dodging damage, really, even with the nearly infinite hearts! He's just not so good at dodging skeletons and creepers and such that he shouldn't top off every day.

He hits the button. He feels his health return to him. He gets a new task: Win Secret Life.

He snorts, a little bitter, to himself as he reads it and folds it into his pocket. "You know, I don't know if I'm lucky or unlucky that you're such a moron that you don't know what winning means. Your machine is broken."

No response, again, because the Secret Keeper is, as established, a big old dumb rock. Well, whatever. Besides, if he lingers on resentment and upset for too long, it might catch up with him! He's certainly let it catch up with him before. Why, a few days after he'd won, when he really had it sink in that he was for-real alone on a server covered in lightning burn marks and blood, he had a bit of a breakdown! There was sobbing, screaming, yelling at the world, the whole works! And when no one responded then, well--

"Did I just call you a moron? I'm sorry, I didn't mean that!" Scar says. "You know how I get sometimes. The world is beautiful and warm, but sometimes it gets a little hard to breathe around here! Now, where were we... oh, right! The trading post terraforming project! Now, we hit a bit of a snag the other day, what with the wandering traders I'd caught all sort of--dying--and all that, but luckily, more of them might show up any moment, and they really are vital to making the place feel alive and breathing. So today we're taking a break from that to build up some trees!"

He waves his arms like someone is listening. He'd like to imagine someone is. Grian told him he won--just because all the ghosts are quiet now doesn't mean they aren't there! And if that was a moment of temporary insanity, well, he probably--he needs to think it's not, is the thing! He absolutely needs to think it's not.

He hums and gathers more logs. His makeshift tree farms are pretty nice, if he does say so himself. He pauses as he hears distant howling and sighs. "I guess we will also be spending today cleaning up the wolf population! I swear, I have no idea what those people were thinking making a wolf spawner. A man takes a nap for a day and then the entire server is overrun with stupid white animals! And you know, I do hate having to cull the things, but, well, you know me. I've learned how to kill pretty well, I think, and really, dogs are easier to kill than people."

He grabs a sword from his chest and sharpens it. He keeps it perfectly clean so that there isn't too much blood on it. Good thing, too; most of the blood would probably be his. He's a bit clumsy, after all. He cuts his fingers on it all the time. No matter how well he bandages up his hands, he just keeps making them bleed, drip, drip, dripping blood on every path he walks down. No matter how hard he works to clean up his massive building projects, the little splatters of blood follow him, so he's sticking to dark colors where he can.

The flowers will probably show the blood, he thinks. The flowers and trees he's building. Hopefully, the blood doesn't stand out too much. It feels wrong, in a world where there are no bodies.

He stands up. He heads in the direction of today's pack of unwanted pests. He sighs. "You know, I know your question is, well gosh, Scar! All the previous winners died. When are you going to finish it off and kill yourself? And wow, that's a pretty dark question. You should be ashamed of yourself for asking, really." He laughs. It's not funny. Who cares.

Instead, he shakes his head.

"And, well, you have to understand. I'm not done building yet! I can make my base so much nicer looking! And besides, you're still handing me hearts. If I get hurt, I can just come back and get more from you! If you want to die, you have to kill me yourself. You fucking cowards!"

No response.

He sighs. "Well, that's enough of that for today. Sorry, I'm feeling kind of morose. It's all this sunshine! Can't be good for a man. Did you know populated servers rain more often than unpopulated ones? It's true! It's because people don't sleep enough. But here I am, getting all the sleep I need. Now, time to go kill some dogs and build some trees! I can't think of a better way to spend an afternoon, can you?"

His hands hurt. He ignores it. He ignores a lot of hurt, these days. It's not like it's hard.

#secret life smp #goodtimeswithscar #a bee fic #implied/referenced suicide #implied/referenced self harm #SO UH. HOW ABOUT THAT SCAR NOT DYING IN THE END NONSENSE HUH.#trying to write this all very much in scar's voice was fun. dark premise. goofy guy. result: this.#also i DO love occasionally giving a character who otherwise wouldn't exactly ONE precision swear-word. very fun.

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0hmanit · 3 months

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One of my favorite types of Rain World rooms are rooms that supposedly have additional cameras/room connections, but they don't.

What do I mean by this? here is an example:

LF_J01 is one of the rooms that bugged me the most, especially when when I notice it during my countless rain deer rides. It's eye catching and makes you wonder if you can bring a grappling worm all the way from the Underhang just to test your dumb theory, only to realize it's not true and be so disappointed.

Fun fact, Rain World Drought is perfectly using this room's potential: by using it as a connection between your starting region and Farm Arrays.

The tutorial room also gets it's own secret, where eventually you find out about it at the start of the Spearmaster campaign. Downpour in fact have a lot of these, and it's one of my favorite additions in this DLC.

Not a secret, just a whole huge region connected through this singular room connection.

Unfortunately SI_C09 didn't receive any additional room connections from the DLC. I remember the first and only time this room tricked me like the fool that I am, into thinking there is a continuation, and got me to jump cluelessly to the left and fall to my death. I guess it's had to do with how open seems this part of Sky Islands look. Gameplay wise I can understand why it stops there, from that point you guided to go up into the heart of the region. And expanding the room from that point, kind of adds too much to the region and makes it more chaotic and confusing to navigate than it needs to be.

Last but not least, this room always seemed odd to me.

Considering that you climb up towers many times in Rain World, it's not very visually appealing when you can't climb up to a place that looks like it has an upper part.

But in all of the presented rooms, you can quite understand why continuing on the region from there would be weird. You have to create a weird fork in the map that distract the player from actually progressing through the game's entire map. And often it makes them get lost and frustrated. this is one of the common causes that makes new players lose their interest in Rain World.

Although you could also go against that point by claiming that Rain World's core gameplay is exploring and getting lost in the world, or at least is what makes the game so appealing. And expanding the region would help increase that feeling of being lost in a complex simulated ecosystem.

I can still understand that for vanilla Rain World, this game is not for everyone. but I mean if you chose to play Downpour as your first experience, that is kind of your problem. Because the whole point of the DLC is to expand significantly the map of the known world.

uh, um. I think got a little bit carried away, lol. This post is still about silly rooms, but I feel like I can't really talk about cool rooms and regions without talking about their important role in the core gameplay.

#rain world #text #LF_J01 is a special case because you're in the endgame #and probably raiding the rain deer #so creating an alternative path/bonus room is weird #I'm a map freak you can tell #tonight my dear.. I'll treat you with some ROOM ANALYSIS

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auteurdelabre · 4 months

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A Little Sun pt 1 DieterBravo x f!Reader

rating: 18+ (future chapters)

Pairings: Dieter Bravo x f! Reader (no detailed physical descriptions, no use of y/n)

summary: As a PA to megastar and mega man-child Dieter Bravo you've had your fair share of headaches. Getting accidentally pregnant with his baby however takes the cake, especially when he offers to pay you to be his surrogate. You just weren't expecting to fall in love with him along the way. (plot prompt inspired by 'Daddy Dieter' by @absurdthirst on Ao3 - read their story, its really wonderful!)

warnings/tags: Unplanned Pregnancy, Surrogacy, Family Issues, Sweet!Dieter, Drugs, Alcohol, Getting Drunk, Boss/Employee Relationship,

a/n: I am actively tryin' to make everyone a Dieter Bravo stan. He is slept on in this fandom istg.

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Part 1: First Trimester

"With every newborn baby, a little sun rises." - Irmgard Erath

-------------------------------------------------------------

Being actor Dieter Bravo's assistant comes with many boons. You get to hob-knob with celebrities, attend galas and parties, get to travel the world and you get paid decently. The downside?

You have to work for Dieter man-child Bravo.

He's an impossibly immature, inconsiderate man who's flakier than your mother's pie dough.

When he isn't being a walking hypocrite who won't eat processed foods but has no problem taking copious amounts of coke, he's making your life a living hell. He loves to party and experiment with whatever drug is in vogue. Too often you're scraping him off a club floor and dragging him home.

One memorable experience was flying by private jet over to Moscow to bring him home for the Academy Awards (which he fucking won because some people have all the luck) after he'd followed some hot Russian male model there and Dieter was convinced he was going to give up his citizenship and stay in Russia forever.

Your mother cannot stand him. She reads about his exploits in the tabloids. She thinks your job is a waste of your talents.

She's not wrong.

But this will all be worth it when you have enough to pay off the mortgage on your family home. As soon as you can your mother can stop working herself into an early grave pulling double shifts at the hospital.

You'll be able to move out into your own place and then you'll be able to finally go back to school and finish your Masters program. The one you had to quit so you could help support your mom after your father unexpectedly died.

You'd been lucky to land the gig with Bravo. Plucked from the group of giggling models who whispered how excited they were to have Dieter Bravo as their boss. You held your resume and reference letters tightly, your mind focused on the salary listed.

When you walked into the office to be interviewed with your long sleeves, high neckline and impressive resume his manager had been intrigued. When she asked what your favorite Dieter Bravo movie was and you had replied "Uh, I don't think I've seen many of his movies" she had given a wry smile and declared you a perfect fit for the job and hired you on the spot.

Dieter had been disappointed. You remember the way his eyes roved over your body in your frumpy clothes and your serious face. He had been looking for fun. You weren't fun.

You were a planner. You were someone who liked doing her job well. And your job was him. Getting him to set on time, organizing his appointments, dropping him with his publicist Diane so she could stop him from saying dumb shit to the tabloids when they cornered him and asked about his ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

You put up with a lot of his shit.

You also listen to a lot of the shit he says. The theories he has about the Hollywood elite, the creative outlets he wants to pursue, the scripts he has to read. You've learned to tune out his really stupid ideas.

The idea of fatherhood comes to Dieter after his latest relationship crashes and burns. In typical Bravo fashion it's a spur of the moment event. A decision with no forethought. He mentions it casually over breakfast as you run through his schedule for the day.

"I'm gonna be a dad."

"Oh yeah? Who's the lucky lady?" you reply drolly, bringing up his schedule on the tablet in your hand.

"Dunno. Haven't decided yet." He leans back in his chair, serene smile on his face.

You keep in the eye roll and go over what he's doing that day. He continues looking dreamily off into the distance, not paying attention.

You assume that this baby thing is similar to the goat therapy sanctuary: an amusing idea that strikes him as fun and that will exit as quickly and quietly as it arrived in his brain.

But a month later Dieter comes home in a foul mood slamming the door to his large home behind him.

"I thought you women wanted commitment!"

You look up from your desk. You've been busy all morning managing his socials. "Huh?"

"You remember my ex? Annika?"

"Yeah."

"We broke up because she wanted kids and I didn't," Dieter says throwing himself dramatically into the chair opposite you. "So I figure she's perfect for this! I went to see her and told her I wanted to settle down and have a baby."

"And what did she say?"

"To leave her dentist's office and never contact her again."

"Wait," you lower your phone. "You went to her dentist's office?"

"That's where her fiancé said she was and I couldn't wait!"

"Her fiancé told you that?"

"Yeah," Dieter groans, not seeing how it was inappropriate. "I'm getting older by the second. I don't wanna be too old to be a dad."

You hold in a sigh, seeing that he's beside himself. Dieter is a successful actor, this is true. But he's just as famous for his hard-partying and wild sex-capades. No woman in her right mind would willingly have a child with such a man.

"If you're that desperate to be a dad then adopt," you say trying to hold in your disdain. You don't think Dieter Bravo should be anywhere near anything to do with a child. And you know he won't be approved for adoption so there's no harm in suggesting it.

"No. I want to pass on my genes."

You give him a raised brow in return. The same genetics that give him his impossibly luscious hair and beautiful brown eyes are also responsible for his love for drugs and spontaneous decision making.

"What did your friend Becky do again?" Dieter asks sitting cross-legged in his chair. "The one who couldn't get pregnant with her husband?"

You're shocked he remembers this tidbit of your life at all. You kind of just assume he's not listening all that closely when you talk about a topic that doesn't directly involve him.

"Surrogacy. She paid someone else to carry her kid."

"Amazing," Dieter says slapping the desk in delight. "That's what I'll do! Obviously I want them to have all my hot characteristics. But I need the ying to my yang so the kid's balanced ya know?"

You don't mention that this is dangerously close to playing with eugenics. Instead you just nod, reading your work phone and then typing in more info onto the tablet.

This is a Bravo phase. It'll pass.

He gets like this about projects that initially interest him, but sooner or later he'll be pulled back into the lure of partying and drugs and easy men and women to warm his bed.

Dieter is watching you, studying you as you work. You've been his assistant for a year and you're good at what you do, despite your personality clashes. He drums his fingers on the desk, eyes narrowing on you.

"I need someone educated."

"Mhmmm." You're really only half listening at this point.

"Where did you go to school again?"

"Stanford."

Dieter nods, bringing a knee to his chest and balancing against it. He reminds you of a bored child.

"Right, that's what I thought," Dieter nods, watching you type quickly away on the keyboard.

You're very good at your job, very organized, very sharp. When he arrives at galas you're always there at his elbow to remind him of everyone's name in a whisper. You've never let him down.

You're good looking, even if you try to hide it under ugly clothes and hair you don't give a second thought to. He tilts back, trying to imagine you pregnant. Would your tits get bigger? The thought is very enticing.

"Cancer or heart disease run in your family?"

This draws your attention up from your phone which you now lower to the table and fix him with a dark look.

"If you're suggesting what I think you are, you can stop right there."

"Why?" Dieter asks, eyes wide and pleading. "Our baby would be perfect! My looks, your brains!"

"Or your brains and my looks," you scoff, although you don't think you're that bad looking. "Besides, I have no interest in having children."

Especially with you.

You've never understood the appeal of children, especially babies. But if you were to be fooled into thinking that it was a wise venture the last person on the face of the planet you would do so with would be the man seated across from you.

"I'll pay you!"

You lower the cell phone to the desk, trying not to come off too judgmental. He is your boss after all and you need the work.

"You really think you're ready for fatherhood, Dieter?"

He looks affronted. "Of course I am."

"You think doing coke, partying and jetting off to different sets to film all over the world is really the best thing for a child?"

"Lots of actors have kids and-"

"You think a man who relies on his staff to keep him fed and his house clean could really understand the responsibility that comes along with raising a child?" You scoff. "Have you ever even changed a diaper?"

"I wasn't born into this life," Dieter says between clenched teeth. "I know how to make a fucking bed and change a diaper. I've changed diapers before. Remember that Mister Mom reboot I did?"

You do all you can not to burst out laughing at that. He's talking about the "parent boot camp" he and his co-star on the film had to go through in order to play parents convincingly. It included a two-day workshop on diaper changing, bottle feeding and basic child development.

Apparently it had been a little too convincing because after that movie his female co-star had claimed to have no interest in having children ever.

"You think a man who has to have a full time personal assistant and two publicists just to keep his image decent Is the kind of person who should be bringing a child into the world?" You scoff. "You think-"

"I get it!" Dieter erupts, throwing himself from his chair. "You think I'm a piece of shit that should never have children! Thanks. Message received."

You watch him stalk off, a pit in your stomach.

///

Another month rolls by, one marked by strain on your end. Ever since you're heavy chat with Dieter he's been a little colder to you, a little more withdrawn.

At least once a week before his outburst Dieter would insist you stay for dinner to run lines with him. He doesn't do that anymore. Before your fight he'd order your favorite meal from the Pad Thai place nearby and you'd spend a few hours going through the lines with him.

You liked having a front row seat to the Dieter Bravo show because he's a good actor. He likes red wine when he's running lines. He always offers you a glass and you always decline because it's unprofessional to drink on the job.

On those evenings you find it easier to chat with Dieter about life. Those evenings you don't have to worry about getting him to interviews or fetching him coffee.

He asks you about your friends and family and you tell him surface level things. He doesn't know about your mom's long hours and a mortgage you can barely afford. He doesn't need to know.

You never realized how much you enjoyed those nights until they stopped

///

You're in his town car driving with him to a Vanity Fair interview the following month. One where they hook him up to a lie detector. You're very thankful that you're not his publicist on days like this because you can only imagine what they'll be asking him and what his answers will be.

Today will be spent grabbing him coffees and making sure he doesn't pass out in the green room. For his last BuzzFeed interview he'd been so out of it you'd had to pretend he had a dental emergency and cancel at the last second.

"Okay so after this then you're meeting that French director about the Regency piece," you tell him as you check his schedule. It's packed full of things he needs to accomplish.

"Mhmmm."

Dieter has his sunglasses on despite it being overcast today in LA. He's got his black crocs on underneath striped socks and he taps them gently as he stares out the window at the passing LA landscape.

"And then we need to go for your tux fitting for the-"

"I know you think it's a terrible idea," Dieter interrupts sullenly. "But I found someone to have my baby."

You pause what you were about to say, glancing over to him in interest. He's staring at you, sunglasses tipped down his nose so he can fix you with an intense stare.

"She's a model," he tells you like a petulant child. "Stunning. My child will be beautiful."

"Congratulations," you say after a beat. Dieter gives a scoff.

"That's all you have to say?"

"Do you want me to organize a flash mob?" You say with a curl of your lip. "I hope she signed an NDA."

"Of course she did," Dieter sneers. "And since I'm paying her $75,000 for it she won't say a damn thing."

"Well then, good luck," you say with as much enthusiasm as you can muster. "I hope you and your future child are very happy."

"We will be. I'm going to love that kid to death," he tells you ardently. "My kid is never going to go without."

You can see Dieter narrow his eyes before pushing his sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose. He leans back in his seat, looking sour.

Despite everything you feel a stab of regret go through you. There are plenty of worse people in the world that have children. Because yes, Dieter is immature and yes he has his vices, but you've seen him with his young fans. He's a natural, more at ease with them than the adults who try to get too close for photos.

"I'm genuinely happy for you," you tell him. "Your child will be very lucky to have a father that loves them so much."

It never takes much to thaw the ice from Dieter Bravo. He likes being liked too much. He flashes you his megawatt smile that you return before turning back to his schedule.

"Alright so, after the tux fitting..."

///

You give a sigh, shrugging off your jacket and padding to your kitchen later that evening. Your mom is there, sipping her nightly tea. She looks more tired than you, despite you working a fifteen hour day.

She gives your forehead a kiss, telling you there's leftovers waiting for you in the fridge before brushing the hair from your eyes.

"You're home late."

"Busy day," you yawn, grabbing dinner leftovers from the fridge and nuking them in the microwave. "He had a bunch of meetings, fittings, had to run through his script a few times."

You sit down with your dinner, taking a forkful and eating quickly. You're exhausted and tomorrow will be much of the same. It's always like this around award season.

"Shocked he didn't get you to read him a bedtime story too," your mother scowls. She's never hidden her disdain for Dieter.

You smile, thinking that if Dieter knew a bedtime story was an option he would probably take it. You know he hates being alone.

The ping from your phone draws your attention. You have an alert set to Dieter’s name, just in case you and Diane need to work overtime on a Bravo-related catastrophe. But when you click on the link it goes to a Reddit thread from the Dieter Bravo subreddit. You glance and see its just one of the run-of-the-mill tabloid photos.

Every so often you're caught in them, listed as "Bravo employee". The first time it had happened you'd been mortified by the unflattering photo of you reading out Dieters schedule as he smoked a cigarette, looking off into the distance.

In these photos today much like the others you're on your phone mid-sentence. Dieter is smiling at you, hand holding his coffee by the top. It's fairly innocuous as far as photos go but the comments are anything but.

Do u think he's hooking up with his PA? Look at these photos.

It's called a job people! She has to be with him all the time.

He looks so fucking hot

Gross no.

I think he's hooking up with Luke Evans??

I will now be identifying as a coffee cup

She's literally looking at her phone. How is this anything?

It's giving secret romance look at their body language

Omg his hands are so big.

I bet he's crazy in bed.

They've totally hooked up

He's so into her look at how he's looking at her!

You roll your eyes and try not to laugh out loud. Your mother glances over at you and shakes her head.

"When are you going to quit working for that loser and go back to school?"

Your mom doesn't really understand why you quit school. She would feel like a burden if she did. But every month you pay off more and more of her mortgage, the better and freer you feel. It’ll be a few years more, but you can manage.

"Soon," you tell your mother with a small smile. “Soon.”

///

"Fuck I hate these things," Dieter says in the back of a limo a few weeks later. You're all headed to a film and theatre awards show.

"Since when?"

"Since I have to present an award and I'm sober."

“You are?”

This surprises you. Rarely has Dieter Bravo ever been sober during awards season. Even the year he won his Oscar he'd been flying high before his name was even engraved on the statuette.

You go to grab your second phone, wanting to check something about scheduling when you realize your purse is back at Dieters. Fuck. You'll have to stop there on your way back tonight.

"You look nice," he tells you offhandedly as he tugs at his bow tie. He usually sees you in jeans and a t-shirt. Tonight your hair is sleek, your makeup glamorous and your dress feminine and lacy.

"Yeah well I heard Robert Pattinson will be there tonight," you say with a small smile. "Gonna shoot my shot."

Dieter rolls his eyes dramatically at this before his publicist Diane draws his attention to some talking points.

"You need to return the watch before you hit up the after parties," she says, motioning to his wrist where he wears a diamond encrusted timepiece from Cartier.

"Aye aye captain."

When the limo pulls up to the red carpet surrounded on both sides by groups of screaming fans you see Dieter swallow.

He loves a lot about acting, but this? The rabid fans, the constant screaming of his name? It stresses him out. He's told you this many times before.

Despite your irritation with Dieter most days, there is a part of you that genuinely enjoys his company. He's creative and funny and blunt in a way that you appreciate.

"You've got this Bravo," you tell him, squeezing his hand reassuringly before pulling back. He smiles at you, slipping on his sunglasses and taking a deep breath.

You and Diane exit out the left side doors as Dieter exits out the right onto the red carpet. Screams at ear -splitting volumes begin the second his boot hits the carpet.

"I LOVE YOU DIETER!'

"OMG ITS HIM!"

"He's so hot!"

"Do you think he's gonna do something weird?"

"DIETER SIGN MY BOOBS!"

Dieter waves and smiles, ignoring the more bizarre requests. His publicist warned him if he is serious about having a kid he needs to work on his image. You wonder how long this will last.

"Dieter Bravo have my baby!" One woman of about fifty shouts holding a hand towards him in desperation. Dieter waves at her and she looks as if she might faint.

"There you go," you whisper to his back as he moves to the next photographer. "If the model doesn't work out at least you have options."

He smirks at you before going to pose for the litany of flash bulbs and photographers.

Inside the auditorium you and Diane guide Dieter behind the stage. He's paired up to present with an up and coming actress who makes moon eyes up at him. Her name is Mia Rowe and she's as gorgeous in real life as she is talented.

"Hi Mr. Bravo," she says batting her eyes up at him.

"Hi beautiful," Dieter purrs. You hold in an eye roll, sure to take note of this woman. Odds are you'll be calling her a cab from Dieter's place later this evening.

"Bravo! I was hoping you'd be here!"

A tall blonde man with perfect teeth walks over, dressed in a form fitting tux. It makes Dieters bright pink checkered tux look cartoonish, but that's kinda what you liked about it.

Corey Brigham, the UK's answer to what would happen if you created the most handsome yet unlike-able person on the planet. He and Dieter go way back, both big in the party and drug scene.

"Was hoping you'd be here," Corey says with a wink, tapping his breast pocket. "I was just heading to the bathroom if you'd care to join."

"I'm not uh, doing that tonight," Dieter says to his friend. "Just sticking to booze."

You overhear this, surprised. You wonder if this is to do with his desire for fatherhood. If so you're a little impressed. Mia looks up at Dieter with a curious expression. As if she's impressed as well, or perhaps that she's surprised Dieter isn't what she expected.

The alcohol is flowing backstage and since you're a lightweight it takes very little to have you giggling behind your hand.

You never drink at these things, but once Dieter is done presenting your off for the night. You can enjoy yourself a little bit, especially when the booze is high end and free.

When Dieter presents the award with Mia you're very proud to see him sticking to his lines and being professional.

"Fuck, I have to go," Diane announces to you midway through the show, clutching her cellphone. "My kids in the hospital, the nanny just texted."

"Oh my gosh," your hand goes to hers. "Is everything okay?"

"He's had an allergic reaction," Diane says, her eyes wet. "I'm supposed to make sure Dieter returns the watch-"

"Go!" You insist, pushing her gently. "I'll make sure he returns it."

"I couldn't-"

"Go!"

Diane shoots you a grateful smile before tucking herself when you to her purse and making a mad dash for the exit. You watch from behind the curtain as the awards ceremony starts.

You decline further drinks after the midpoint, but you're still more than a little tipsy when you walk over to wrangle Dieter at the end of the show. He usually loves to hit up the after parties and you need to make sure he returns the Cartier watch before he goes.

You tap him on his broad shoulder, interrupting what seems to be a very intense (flirtatious) conversation with a redhead with the best pair of fake tits you've ever seen.

He turns irritated at first but his face quickly blooms into amusement as you stare up at him wavering slightly on your feet.

"Well, well, well," Dieter says smugly. "Miss Professional is drunk."

"I am not!" You insist, trying as hard as you can to keep the slur from your voice. "I'm just... I just had a little."

"You're slurring."

"Am not."

"Sure," Dieter laughs. "I bet you can't even walk in a straight line."

You immediately put one foot in front of the other, making a straight line from one side of the hallway floor to the other. You shoot him a victorious smile as he claps.

"My mistake," he drawls. "You’re obviously sober. I must have just overlooked that you always walk around with your eyes half open."

The redhead, irritated at being ignored gives a small sigh through her nose before bidding Dieter a sharp goodbye. You watch her walk off and grimace.

"Well you just cost me a date for the after party," Dieter laughs, slinging an arm around your shoulders and walking towards the entrance where photographers have gathered.

"Don't do that," you grumble. "Someone'll take a photo and get the wrong idea."

Dieter straightens immediately, but the amusement is still there in his features.

"So I guess you're gonna have to be my date," he teases, knowing full well how much you hate parties and that you'd never be invited in.

"Yeah right," you sneer. "I'd rather slide down a banister of razors into a pool of lemon juice."

"Guess I'll just have to find someone to keep me company then," Dieter says before winking at you. "I'll be at the Chateau Marmont if you change your mind."

He's out the door and in his limo before you remember why you needed to talk to him.

The fucking watch!

Cartier will have a fit if it's not returned this evening and Diane will be so disappointed in you on top of a very stressful night for her.

You have to run about three blocks in your heels to find a taxi to drive you. Traffic is majorly backed up thanks to the award ceremony and it takes you over an hour to get to Chateau Marmont.

At first the front desk won't let you past the entryway even when you tell them who you work for. You collapse onto a chair and try in vain to call Dieter. Not shockingly he doesn't pick up.

It's not until Mia Rowe arrives amidst screaming paparazzi and sees you near tears that she takes your hand and cites that you're with her. You thank her profusely and make a mental note to see every one of her movies in theaters for the rest of your life.

She's walks with you into the bustling party before releasing your hand and wishing you good luck. It doesn't take long to find Dieter in the crowd, you simply have to go to where there's the most noise.

He's in the middle of the group regaling them with one of his stories about the horrors of filming cliff beasts 5. He's got his arm around a young, very good looking Latin man you think is a singer. You watch as Dieter breaks off from what he was saying to kiss the young man thoroughly, tongues dueling as the music pulse around you.

Shit that's hot.

You don’t often see Dieter in the throes of passion but you’ve walked in on Dieter with his fair share of men and women waking up after a rowdy party or two. Seeing him here though with the club music like a heartbeat in your abdomen and his full mouth pressed to the handsome man’s makes you feel… something.

The two break apart and Dieter is about to say something more to the group when his eyes land on you.

"You made it!" Dieter slurs happily when you make your way towards him. "Take a shot!"

The crowd around him cheers as he produces a shot glass for you. Everyone is either coked out of their minds or massively drunk. It makes you jealous that your job has no glamour whatsoever.

"Here! Take a shot!" Dieter insists. "It's called the Bravo because uh... I forgot. But it’s good!"

You stumble over to him, not wanting to draw too much attention to the million dollar piece he's currently wearing on his wrist. Your mouth goes to his earlobe, lower lip catching the cool metal of his earring and the young man at his left shoots daggers at you.

"Dieter no, I need to return the-"

"The watch, I know," Dieter says with a smirk, his whisky tainted breath huffing along your cheeks. "I knew you'd have to come here to get it."

That asshole.

"You think I have nothing better to do than chase you all over this fucking city?" you shout, barely heard over the thrumming music.

Dieter just looks down at you amused and drunk. "Oh loosen up. I'll give you the watch."

"Good." You hold out your hand which he promptly places a shot glass into.

"As soon as you have a drink with me."

"I can't-"

You want to deny him this, to just get the watch and go to Cartier. But you're still tipsy and you're at a Hollywood after party and wait-

"Is that Robert Pattinson?" You croak pointing to a handsome figure entering the room. Dieter squints over before nodding and smiling crookedly.

"Twilight himself."

Holy shit.

"Okay," you say, smoothing your hair back. "One drink."

///

You're both absolutely obliterated by the time you head to Dieters limo and you're not sure who is worse.

You think you must be decently in control of your faculties because at least you remember to tell the limo to stop at Cartier where a very angry employee is waiting.

"So sorry," you slur at him as you pass him the watch in its box over the counter sheepishly. He makes you sign something before you clamor back into the limo next to Dieter who is drinking straight out of a whisky bottle.

He offers you the bottle and you take a sip. Just to be polite.

Then another sip to be extra polite.

"Robert Pattinson was so nice," you tell Dieter for the third time since you left the party. "And so handsome."

"He's not that handsome," Dieter says, sounding like he's underwater. "Where d'you live?"

"Over there," you say pointing in the general direction of your house. Dieter nods, telling the impossibly patient driver to go left.

"Wait my keys are at your house," you slur, eyes only half open. "How m'I gonna get in my house?"

"You need your keys," Dieter says loudly. "Less'go! My house!"

You're both barely able to walk when you come back to Dieter's place, dropped off by his limo. Like two chums you wrap your arms around each other's shoulders and trudge up his steps.

He drops his keys twice before opening the door with a groan.

"I hate wearing this stuff," he complains, pulling at the bow tie. You want to tell him that he looks nice but your mouth doesn't seem to be keeping up with your brain.

Dieter pulls off his bowtie, letting it drop to the floor. You do the same with your shoes, hating how they feel after hours on end.

"Want a drink?"

"Yes!"

"Me too!"

You both look at each other, waiting for the other person to pour the drink before collapsing into giggles. When you finally stop Dieter trips over to his bar and pours two shots of expensive vodka, spilling all over the bar top. You clink glasses and throw the shots back.

In habit Dieter turns the sprawling television on. The first thing that pops up is the discovery Channel and a documentary on giraffes. You both make a cooing sound when the camera pans to an unsteady baby giraffe just starting to walk.

"Awww I love baby animals," you say feeling oddly emotional at the tiny creature.

"I want one so bad," Dieter hiccups beside you.

"A giraffe?"

"No a baby-baby," Dieter pouts. "Want to give it everything I didn't have as a kid."

You've never really understood why Dieter wanted a baby until recently and in this moment you find his reasoning to be impossibly sweet.

"That's so nice!" You enthuse, finding it hard not to shout. The liquor is soaring through your veins. "You're so nice!"

Dieter smiles crookedly at you. "You think so?"

"Yeah!"

"Then why are you so mad at me all the time?" Dieter sways on his feet. "I'm so nice to you."

"You are not," you say plainly. "You're obnoxious. You do drugs so often you forget you have obligations. So then I have to babysit you so you don't get sued. You make my job stressful!"

"Oh."

Dieters head pitches forward and you can see that his eyes are closed. You've hurt him. That makes your drunken brain panic.

"But you're also really nice," you slur, gripping him by the forearm and shaking. "'Member you got me that really nice painting for my birthday?"

Dieter nods. The painting in question is of a beautiful woman overlooking the sea from behind, her stance filled with determination and her hair drifting in the breeze. It's as beautiful as it is vibrant and you'd been shocked when it arrived on your doorstep the morning of your birthday. Diane had mailed it, you recognized her handwriting.

Your mom had been amazed at it when you brought it in and opened it, citing that you needed to hang it somewhere you could look at it all day. So you had, hanging it on the wall opposite your bed. It's the first and last thing you look at every day. The woman in the portrait

"That was so nice!" You pause as your fuzzy brain tries to recall. "Did I ever thank you for that?"

"You gave me a thank you card and then told me to get ready for my BuzzFeed interview," Dieter shrugs, but that's your answer right there. He pours you both another shot of vodka which you both drink quickly.

"I have it hung up in my house," you tell him honestly. "It's in my room. I look at it every day. It's so beautiful. And nice of you!"

Nice is the only adjective that your addled brain can come up with tonight. Dieter smiles at you, a sweet little smile that has you smiling back at him. But then his handsome face crumples.

"If I'm so nice why does no one want to make a baby with me? Why do I have to pay that model?"

"I dunno," you answer honestly because right now in your drunken haze you don't really get why Dieter is single. He's handsome, rich and talented. Sure he likes cocaine and partying but there are worse things, surely!

"I know why," he says in a sad rasp. "S'cuz I'm unlovable."

"That's not true," you interject with a gasp before throwing your arms around his neck. "You're wonderful!"

You've never embraced Dieter before in all the time you've worked for him. The most you've ever done is gripped his hand in yours as you guided him through a bustling club to get to an interview he was late for or squeezed his hand like in the limo.

He's warm and he smells really good like expensive cologne. He'd dressed up well for the party tonight and you can't help but nuzzle your nose into his neck. You're both so drunk you lean against each other, not noticing when Dieter's nose glides along your neck as well.

"I think it's true," he whispers softly.

You feel impossibly sad for your boss because Dieter is so nice! The painting! You wish you'd been kinder to him. Wish you'd thanked him properly.

But wait, maybe you can?

"Dieter! I'll make a baby with you!"

You can hear Dieter's heartbeat pickup under your ear pressed against his chest.

"Really?" Dieter says, swaying. "That's what I was trying to ask before but you were so mad remember? You're always so mad at me!"

"I wasn't!" You reply sulkily, pulling back from him. You don't like being told that. You cross your arms, irritably.

"Yeah you get this lil' line between your brows when you get mad at me," Dieter says, clumsily pulling off his jacket and dropping it on the ground. "It's so cute and oh- yeah just like that!"

He's pointing at your frowning face.

"I wasn't mad," you insist, feeling the need to defend yourself. "I was just..."

You trail off as Dieter grabs you by the hips and pulls them to his. He looks down at you through his thick lashes.

"You're really pretty," he tells you through a whisky-laced hiccup. "I always thought so but I couldn't tell you."

"How come?"

"You're intimidating."

You giggle because you've never seen his face this close up and his mouth is so pouty. His eyelashes are so long you've never noticed.

"You're pretty too."

He kisses you then, his full mouth warm against yours. You kiss him back, making little whimpers when he licks into your welcome mouth.

"You kiss good!" You tell him in shock when you eventually pull back.

He smiles broadly, proud of himself. You can see the dimple in his cheek poke out. You decide that this is as good a time as any to get started. Your hands go to his belt.

"Let's make the baby now."

"Okay."

///

When you wake up the next morning hung-over and still dressed in Dieter Bravo's bed you don't automatically assume the worst. His arms are around you and he's snoring against your neck and if you weren't feeling so wretched you might have enjoyed how his warm body felt wrapped around yours.

It's not until you pad to the bathroom and begin to retch in his fancy toilet that you realize your panties are gone.

Having heard the noise Dieter stumbles into the bathroom, shocked to see his normally composed assistant kneeling over his porcelain toilet.

He leaves a few moments as you continue emptying your stomachs of its contents. When he returns he's holding two cups of what look like a disgusting green concoction. You take one from him, leaning against the counter.

"Do you remember anything?"

"Uh, I remember dropping the watch at Cartier," you say before dropping your mouth under the sink to swish some water into your dry mouth before spitting. "I remember we came here to get my keys I think? That's when it all gets blurry."

"Did we see giraffes?" Dieter asks, blinking through puffy eyes. "I feel like I remember giraffes."

You groan at your aching head before you remember your missing underwear. You glance to see Dieter is wearing his ratty green bathrobe cinched at the waist and from what you can see nothing underneath. His bulge is prominent under his bathrobe, you can't help but notice.

Dieter is staring at you, looking concerned.

"Last night... Did we?" He makes a circle with his thumb and pointer finger before making thrusting motions into it with his free forefinger.

"I...I don't remember," you croak, eyes blinking against the light streaming in from his bathroom window. You sip the green drink slowly, surprised that it doesn't taste as disgusting as it looks.

"Me neither."

"I need a Plan B just in case," you murmur, splashing cold water on your face. "You have a lot of guests stay the night... Any chance you have a box lying around?"

When he doesn't answer right away you glance over your shoulder to see Dieter has a funny look on his face. He's staring at you, blinking.

"What?"

"What if you are pregnant?" He asks quietly. "Would you consider keeping it?"

You laugh out loud. "Of course not!"

"Not even if I paid you?" Dieter asks, his voice hinting at desperation. "I'll pay you double - no, triple what I was going to pay the model surrogate."

You're about to loudly deny this request when you remember what he was offering that model: $75,000. Triple that is over $200,000. Yeah your life will be hell for nine months but then you'll be able to start a new one debt free. Your mom will be able to retire. You'll be able to go back to school.

And it's not like you ever wanted kids in the first place so you wouldn't even get attached. All that money for an inconvenience. A blip.

You can see the hunger in Dieter's eyes, the desperation, the deep need.

He does feel an aching need for this. Because drugs are awesome, making movies is fun, the money is amazing but with no one to share it with he feels lost. It feels pointless. He's fucked his way through the Hollywood elite: men and women alike. It's boring.

He tried making a real go of it with Annika but he'd fumbled it poorly and now she hated him and moved on. She was with her old co-worker and she was happy.

In truth Dieter is terrified that he cannot make another person happy. But a miniature version of himself? He could do that.

"Three hundred thousand," you say, not thinking he'll accept it.

"Deal."

Fuck why didn't I go higher?

Dieter sees you thinking, his mouth hitching into an excited grin. "So it's yes?"

"IF I agreed to the higher price point you'd be willing to honor the agreement if I got pregnant?" You venture. "The same one you were giving to that model? The one about covering all medical expenses and taking over sole custody and all that?"

"Yes."

"And I'd get the money when?"

"As soon as the baby is born. Just like the contract states."

"And the baby would never know I was its mother?"

"Never."

You pause, blinking rapidly. This all sounds too good to be true. And in all honesty, if Dieter takes this baby and forgets it on a park bench, that's none of your business or your responsibility. As far as you're concerned, this baby is a job. A very well-paying job.

"Okay fine," you say with a shaking breath. "I'll have your baby, Bravo."

///

You can't be pregnant from one night of drunken sex you both can't remember, right? Surely not. People try months if not years to get pregnant. Just look at Becky! Plus, you're not even sure you even had sex! Sure you'd woken up feeling a bit weird, but that could have been because you were waking up next to your boss.

You're thankful your mom works erratic hours at the hospital and didn't notice your late arrival this morning. You spend most of that day pacing around your house, doing laundry but mostly just feeling fuzzy. Not hung-over fuzzy (although that's part of it). It's an overwhelmed fuzzy that makes your head feel like cotton.

Your day feels impossibly long and short all at once. You want it to hurry up so you can go to bed but at the same time you want it to stretch ad finitum because you dread seeing Dieter tomorrow.

You'd left in such a rush that morning, not taking him up on his offer of breakfast. You needed to get away from him and that bed and that house. Needed to think about your next steps.

When you mom arrives home later that night you've made dinner that you both eat in front of the TV. Your mom chooses some bad hallmark romance movie that makes you want to throw a brick through the screen.

As you sit there bored your mind can't help but begin drifting back to Dieter and that night. You wonder what the sex was like if you actually did it. Was he tender? No, you think he'd be like a jackhammer. Despite his reputation for marathon sessions you think they Dieter would be a selfish lover.

"Mom what was it like being pregnant with me?"

Your mom raises her head curiously from her palm braced against the couch arm.

"Why do you ask honey?"

"I dunno, I guess after Becky did that whole surrogate thing it made me wonder why people go through it," you lie. "It seems like so much effort for so little pay off."

"You think you were little pay off?" You mom asks with a sleepy smile. "I disagree."

"I think kids are really hard," you smile back. "And I don't really get it."

"Well you've said you're not having kids so I don't think you need to worry about it," your mom says kindly.

You know as an only child there's a lot of pressure on you to have kids. You know your mom is aching to be a grandparent, especially after your dad's death.

But she's never pressured you. When you told her you had no intention of having kids even if you found the greatest spouse she had simply hugged you and said she respected your choice.

But you don't miss how she eagerly listens to stories about Becky's babies or asks to see photos. You don't miss how her eyes linger in the baby section at Wal-Mart. You don't miss the way she smiles at the trick or treat-ers that crowd your doorway on Halloween.

"I felt wonderful being pregnant," she says suddenly. "Loved every second. Felt like a fertile goddess."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

A ping sounds on your phone and a headline from a tabloid catches your eyes as you swipe up.

Dieter Bravo signs on for period piece alongside Hollywood darling Mia Rowe.

"Oh good he booked it," you murmur to yourself. He'd been beside himself working on his British accent, desperate to land this role that would take him from goofy villain to serious, romantic leading man.

"What was that honey?" Your mom asks, now slumped over sleepily on the couch.

"Just Dieter stuff," you explain. "I have an alert set to his name."

She grunts a reply before turning back to the television.

You read the rest of the article delighted that his co-star is Mia Rowe. That's amazing news! You love her! You only hope he can keep it in his pants long enough to keep production from falling apart. You can't help but smile as you send him a text.

[10:44pm] Congrats! I just heard about the Regency drama. You must be so excited! 🎉

You rest your phone in your lap before second guessing and placing it on the couch arm next to you. You look at your stomach, amazed that you of all people could potentially be carrying life.

[10:44pm] D: I am thank u. Do u feel pregnant?

You roll your eyes so hard you're convinced you can see your brain. Is he fucking serious? Does he really not have any clue about how pregnancy works? Is he not aware that Google is free?

[10:45pm] I won't know for weeks.

[10:45pm] D: I thought women knew early?? That's what Magda says.

Magda is his ancient housekeeper. A woman who has worked for Dieter since he hit it big. She does a terrible job keeping his house tidy but there's no way he'll ever fire her.

You turn your phone off irritated. You'd been trying to be kind and supportive and he managed to overlook it entirely.

You watch your mother fall asleep on the couch, her head tilted in her hand. And for a fleeting moment you do hope that you're pregnant. You want to give this woman everything.

$300,000 would change both of your lives and it seems insane that Dieter won't even miss that amount from his bank account. It'll be a drop in the ocean for him. It makes you feel prickly and resentful by the time his next text message comes through.

[11:02pm] D: Are ur breasts tender?

[11:02pm] Fuck off.

///

Living in the fantasy of having all that money had been fun. But a large part of you hadn't really believed that you'd be pregnant.

So when the two pink lines show up on the pregnancy test that Dieter has bought you three weeks later, you shake your head and take another one.

"Well?"

Dieters muffled voice calls to you through the bathroom door. He's been sitting outside the door leaning against it for the last ten minutes.

"Gimme a second!" You bark out over your shoulder.

You take another test.

And another one.

Pregnant.

Yep. You're fucking pregnant.

You are carrying Dieter Bravo's child in you at this very second.

You pull up your t-shirt, standing and looking in the mirrors reflection. Your stomach looks exactly the same. Nothing has changed.

And yet everything has changed.

Dieter is waiting for you outside his office bathroom pacing back and forth. When he sees your wide eyes his own go owlish in his face.

You swallow before thrusting the three tests into his hands. He looks at all three, delight blooming over his face.

He falls to his knees, raising his hands in victory over his head before bellowing.

"We're having a fucking baby!"

///

After a multitude of tests by Dieter's private doctor the next week, the confirmation comes through.

You're six weeks along.

Dieter jumps on the couch, shouting excitedly as the news is announced. You simply sit stiffly in your chair as the doctor smiles at you and offers you congratulations.

"It's still early," he warns you both and that causes Dieter to stop jumping on furniture.

There's a lot of paperwork to go over that following week. Dieter has brought in his lawyer and on top of the additional NDA there's also a mountain of certain clauses, exceptions etc. Dieter offers to pay for a lawyer for you but you deny him.

You take the paperwork to a cheap lawyer in town who gives it back a week later citing that "it's thorough but fair."

No one besides you, Dieter, his manager Mark and his publicist Diane can know. Diane is handling the roll out of the birth nine months from now, laying the groundwork for a successful launch.

She talks about your future child like a product or commodity. It makes both you and Dieter wince.

"No hard drugs Dieter, I'm serious," Diane warns him over coffee in his living room. She's got a checklist to go through with him and you.

"I've been off 'em for weeks," he assures her. "Just stickin' to weed."

"No big parties, no orgies," she says checking notes off her phone. "No ridiculous ranting on the red carpet."

"Fine." Dieter nods although you can see that he's going to miss those. He's always enjoyed the attention that goes along with a good party... Or a good orgy... Or rant.

"And you," Diane says turning to face you seated beside Dieter in his living room. "Obviously you signed an NDA so if people ask, you got pregnant from a one night stand and due to religious reasons you're keeping the pregnancy and giving the kid up for adoption."

Partially accurate.

"Won't it look kinda suspicious for his PA to be pregnant and then him suddenly have a baby?" you ask, suddenly concerned.

"You won't be his PA after this conversation," Diane informs you. "It would be a massive conflict of interest."

You feel your heart lurch. "Wait, I'm fired?"

"Not at all," Diane explains patiently. "You're on paid leave. You'll be given your weekly paychecks as usual."

The thought of nine months stuck at home for your mother to fret over (or worse once she finds out the dad is Dieter) makes you wince. Dieter squirms in his seat next to you, scratching absently at his ankle. A trait he does when he's agitated.

You've been his PA the longest he's ever maintained one. Usually he sleeps with them or burdens them into quitting. He feels safe with you, you're good at your job and you make him feel stable. Plus you’re carrying his fucking child. He doesn’t want you gone.

"No," Dieter finally insists, his voice strong. "I need her. I'm going to film in Ireland and I need her with me."

"Dieter-"

"She can wear baggy clothes when she starts to show," he reasons. "And when she gets too big she can do office work."

"Dieter-"

"No negotiating," Dieter insists. "I want her to work for me as long as she wants to." He turns to you at this point, brow raised. "Only if you do."

You smile brightly at him. "I do."

"So do I."

"Great," Diane says rolling her eyes. "I now pronounce you both totally fucked."

///

When you finally hand your completed contract over to Dieter and his lawyers that following week his smile is so wide you think that his face will split.

Immediately his broad hand goes to rest against your belly, eyes wide with anticipation.

"Hello little thing, I'm your daddy," he tells your stomach.

"Okay rule one," you tell him, pushing him off of you with a look of disgust. "No touching me without permission. I am not going to be one of those pregnant women that let strangers touch her belly."

"We're not strangers," Dieter pouts.

"Besides all your touching right now is my stomach fat," you say flatly. "The baby is the size of a poppy seed."

Dieter looks amazed. "How do you know that?"

You show him the app you've downloaded to your phone to track everything from fetal development to dietary suggestions. It's called BabiEDucate.

"You can make an account too," you tell him. "Parents can link up and access the same files."

Dieter is already downloading it before the sentence leaves your mouth. Parents. He's going to be a parent. He's going to be a dad! He's fucking giddy.

"I'll make sure I update it with everything," you promise. "Photos, cravings. It'll keep you involved even when you're working."

"Oh right," Dieter says, deflating. In all his excitement he'd forgotten the film. Several months of filming a period piece over in Ireland. "You're still coming right?"

"I'm still your PA aren't I?" you say bringing out the schedule. Ireland is only a few weeks away and you wonder if you'll be showing.

The nice thing about being a nobody in the world of celebrity is that no one will think it's strange if you suddenly start to show. You're Dieter's PA, not his friend or co-star. Your pregnancy won't be fodder for tabloid headlines or the rumor mill.

"When we're in public I'm still your employee," you remind him. "So no talking to my stomach or talking about the pregnancy."

Dieter looks thoughtful before snapping his fingers, inspired.

"We'll have a code word! How about... Broccoli."

"No."

"Lube?"

"Dieter-"

"Bubble? that's even a fun word to say!"

"Fine," you say with an eye roll. "Bubble it is."

///

By the end of your second month you feel like absolute shit. Morning sickness has hit you bad. Your mom is usually out of the house before you in the mornings but she catches you hovering over the toilet one morning and you have to pass it off as food poisoning.

You're thankful that filming will take you over to Ireland for a few months. That's a few months that you can put off telling her that you're carrying your boss's child.

Dieter has been as annoying as he is helpful in that regard. When you're with him at his place or driving to an event he's his usual self. Well, except all he wants to do is talk about the baby. But at least he does his job and can be redirected.

When you're not with him though? It's another story.

[2:06pm] D: you didn't upload to the app today. 🍼🍼🍼

[2:07pm] Too busy puking.

[2:07pm] D: I saw an article that says ginger tea helps.

[2:08pm] 👍

When you come out of the bathroom wiping at your washed mouth an hour later you're surprised to hear knocking.

You open it to find Dieter standing at your door with a cardboard box.

"What are you doing here?" You ask, eyes blown wide. "It's my day off and you're supposed to be at a promo photoshoot for-."

"I know," Dieter interrupts before placing the package into your arms. You glance inside to see heaps of ginger products: tea, honey, biscuits, candies.

"What’s all this?"

"For your morning sickness," he says glancing down at your stomach as if he's expecting you to have magically popped since he saw you yesterday. He's disappointed that you still look the same.

He gives you a quick smile and wave as he heads back down your driveway towards the waiting cab.

"Don't forget to update the app!'

#dieter bravo fanfiction #dieter bravo smut #dieter bravo #dieter x reader #pedro pascal dieter #The Bubble #pedro pascal smut #Pedro Pascal #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #eventual smut #romance #love #pregnancy

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sarucane · 5 months

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Stede Bonnet's Stories (S1)

My favorite theme (right now) in OFMD is storytelling, and how the characters' stories shape the narrative and one another. In OFMD, stories are how people connect to one another. How they figure out their place in the world around them, how they form communities, how they grow and change. Because stories are also how the characters come to understand themselves.

In the first season, Stede is the loudest and most determined storyteller of them all. He's literally paying someone to follow him around and write his story; he's built the entire ship and outfitted it to create a certain story; he's wearing mad, impractical clothes in a harsh climate to express his personality.

On the one hand, this is a dumb thing to do. The crew can't read the library he's provided for them; his clothes (and incompetence) make his first "raid" a disaster; the pirates are plotting mutiny very quickly indeed. And his attempts to "toughen up" wind up nearly burying the crew in a larger, imperial story of race and class.

On the other hand, it's an immensely brave thing to do. Stede doesn't really try to be "like Blackbeard." He doesn't disguise his accent, wear ugly clothes, or make an example of someone on the crew to show his "iron fist." He is trying to do something genuinely different. To be a gentleman and a pirate. To tell a story that hasn't been told before. And to create space for others to tell a story: when Wee John voices criticism, Stede hands over his own fabrics to the crew and encourages them to "express yourselves." Between the bedtime stories and Stede's lie about Nigel (which is revealed very quickly afterwards), the crew decide they'll try telling his "new" story with him.

At first, the weakness in Stede's story seems to be that he's telling it in the wrong place. That his fiction is too far from reality, which is going to crush his story (as so many stories have been crushed throughout history).

And that is a problem, and his misjudgments wind up with him being betrayed by pirates and almost executed by Spanish naval officers. But it's a solvable problem, with help.

From the moment they meet, Ed and Stede are at their best when they tell stories together. When they work together, they figure stuff out about themselves, they connect with one another and with the crew, and they find a way to write the third story in a world that tells them they have only two options (gentleman or pirate). They make ship into a lighthouse; they bring a kraken to life and finally beginning to understand it; Stede uses his ship's mast and Ed's trick to outwit Izzy; a treasure map yields actual 'treasure'; the ship is invaded by the English, but everyone emerges safe and alive.

But it doesn't last. Because the real weakness of Stede's storytelling isn't the context. It's that Stede doesn't believe it himself.

Stede is doing all this to try to be both a boy worthy of respect from his father, and a boy who picks flowers. He's still defining himself by the terms of the world he came from. By running away, not running towards something.

So, when Chauncey confronts him with his own "monstrousness," Stede believes him. It's all his insecurities come to life. And he believes Chauncey when he says Stede's "brought history's greatest pirate to ruin."

If all Stede will ever be is a "little rich boy," then he needs to stop trying to be something else. Because telling that story means hurting others.

Stede's wrong. Telling a story, even when you don't fully believe it, changes you and the people who listened to your story. And when Stede gives up on his storytelling, the causes and effects circle round: Stede told stories. As a result, other people told stories. And even if Stede stops telling stories, or tries to tell different stories, other people won't.

Stede lied when he confessed to Nigel's murder. Said he deserved to die for leaving his wife and family. But he doesn't die there, because Ed tells his own story about grace, and the crew takes Stede's mad stories as their own.

And because of what Stede did, Mary Bonnet was able to tell her own story, fully and on her own terms. And to believe in it completely. Ed and the crew were able to tell their stories, too--which comes near to an actual transformation.

In the end, it doesn't matter that Stede didn't believe his story. He changed anyway. He created space for other people to change, to tell stories that unraveled his own lies, that saved him from himself. And he awkwardly, finally, figured out what story he wanted to tell. His own truest story.

And to escape the truth he's accidentally been trapped in, Stede tells a story that inverts what he did before. At the beginning of the season, Stede was telling a story that no one believed. That only he even really tried to believe. But in the finale, he stages an elaborate fuckery to tell a story that everyone believes--except him, and the people who matter. Truth materializes from the fiction.

Stede's stories set so many people free. And in the end, when he's brave enough to lie his way to the truth, Stede's stories set him free, too.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd spoilers #ofmd meta #stede bonnet #blackbonnet #legit i could go on about this for agggges #just about every ep has a storytelling moment or 4 #there's all these nuanced ways the stories affect the plot and each other its so complicated and i love it

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thefreakandthehair · 1 year

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eddie is very emotionally attached to his hair. he loves the look, obviously, but also loves using it as a shield. he plays with it when he needs to fidget, he pulls pieces in front of his face when he’s flustered or nervous, he sweeps it over his shoulders to hide his face from time to time. it’s a built-in barrier and ever since he’d grown it out at around 15, he’d sworn to never go back. eddie’s hair make him feel safe.

that is, until he wakes up in the hospital post-upside down to find it cut short. too short-- can’t-twirl-or-play-with-it short. once the shock and relief of oh fuck, I’m alive, thanks steve, wears off, he laments the loss.

"steve, it took me years to grow it out. I’ll be 25 by the time it’s back where it was!" he admits during a rare moment when it's just the two of them in his hospital room. the machines beep evenly and steve sighs from his position in the hard, wood-backed chair next to the bed.

"man, I get it. my nickname was the goddamn hair for awhile, so I know it's a part of you but it'll grow back, right? and--"

"yeah yeah, I know it will, that's not the problem. it’s— ugh, forget it.” eddie instinctively reaches to pull his hair over his left shoulder to hide his face and is reminded of what the problem really is. he feels exposed and seen in a way that he can’t control and it makes his skin crawl-- particularly that it's steve harrington he feels so seen by, and he frankly has too many other crises going on to unpack that at the moment.

steve, for all of the ‘dumb jock’ jokes tossed his way, is perceptive. you don't survive high school in hawkins and four end-of-the-worlds without a dash of social intelligence, after all. so when he sees eddie reach for his hair like a phantom limb, he starts putting puzzle pieces together.

"why don't you want people to see you?"

eddie freezes with his hands falling to his chest, the IV in one hand pulling a bit at his skin. "that's not... I don't ... nothing, it's nothing." he sputters, unsure how steve has gotten such a fucking read on him.

"hey, I mean, I get it. kind of, at least? after the last few fights knocked my brain around, I've gotten some gnarly scars and bruises and I uh, I don't really swim or go around shirtless anymore because of it. I know that's probably not exactly the same but... yeah. I can understand. want me to get you a wig?"

steve watches as eddie slowly turns to look at him, and more importantly, to let steve look at him and his hesitant smile with furrowed eyebrows.

"why are you telling me all this?" eddie wants to think it's more than steve being steve, more than him just looking out, that it's personal. that maybe he likes eddie. hell, there must've been a reason he and wayne were the only two in the room when he woke up. and it clearly hadn't been the first time, given how close steve and wayne seem to be now. he'd pretended to be annoyed about their banter over the chicago cubs but really? it gave eddie a glimpse of something he wanted so badly, it made him ache. but that couldn't be it.

eddie's heart monitor beeps a little faster when steve reaches out to place a hand on top of his. steve looks up at the screen and back down to their hands with a small, hopeful smile.

"you're one of us now." steve shrugs and replies simply, as if that answers any of eddie's burning questions. he doesn't want to overwhelm him, but Steve can't help some good-natured Harrington flirting. "and it'd be a real shame for you to keep hiding that blush."

there's something here, steve thinks, a reason he wants eddie to let him look, to let him see, to keep making him blush from his neck to his nose. he'll give it time though. after all, the danger is gone-- they're here, and alive, and the world is safe, and they've got nothing but time to watch eddie's curls grow back.

#steddie #steddie fanfic #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #this is a projection because my hair is waist-length and i will never cut it short #for these reasons #oops sorry eddie i gave you a new personality trait #myfic #this is not edited #i just wanted something soft and cute after writing a rough chapter of over the hills and far away lmao #myblurbs

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theotherseapancakes · 19 days

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Psssst. You mentioned no one cares about Philemon, but now I'm curious if you have any thoughts about his role in the games after he disappeared. And for sillies sake, does he have anything to do with the Dance games?

I have been waiting my entire life for this. Anon do you realize how verbose I'm going to get. DO YOU REALIZE? I hope you like read mores. Let me preface this with I am aware and have seen some popular theories, so I'm going to sidestep a lot of them and present one I've built since... well, I became a Persona fan as a teenager. MAJOR PERSONA SERIES SPOILERS LIKE THE ENTIRE THING OK? OK. yes even royal.

The P2 PSP additional scenario is so incredibly important and I think everyone missed the point of it. THE PERSONA 2 PSP ADDITIONAL TATSUYA SCENARIO!!!! It's beyond important, because it reveals to us Philemon can have more than one Avatar we know about, just like Nyarly. (Casual reminder he's like half the shopkeeps in P2. Time Count, anyone? Why was the Time Count so hot. Anyway.) Disclaimer: I'm just a casual fan who has played a LOT of Persona and SMT. I haven't gotten around to all of them, but I've played/finished both paths of 1, 2, 3 (and p3p) as well as 4 and 5. Didn't manage to get my hands on Golden but I've seen enough of it. (It's funny you ask about the dance games, they're the only ones I don't have right now! But my roommate does, and will be gone for a few months soon, perhaps I will take the time to start with p4DAN. I'm atrocious at rhythm games though so more than likely I'll find a video. Anyway.) WHAT is Philemon? If we can't define that, we can't talk about The Positivity Guy Ever.

So let's talk about Phil. He's a fascinating character. His Persona is just a form of Himself, But Cooler. And he seems to HAVE no set shape, not unlike Nyarlathotep. People have various theories about Shadows and their origins etc., but Phil is more like that vote of confidence in people. I think, personally, that after the end of Innocent Sin, Phil's been pretty weak. We see in Eternal Punishment he's fading pretty roughly, and has a hard time talking to the party. Presumably ending Nyarly might to some degree fix things when Deja-vu Boy goes home, but... the problem is, we don't know how fixed they truly ended up being, or the full depth of how much he could/did expend!

In fact, the first time we even see Phil without the dumb mask is when Tatsuya decks him. Pay close attention to that fact. To the mask motifs here. I want you to really soak in Phil's everything. He's a leader. A kind soul. He's the good of people. He wants to believe the best.

Anyway, most of these things overlook what I find really interesting as we've gotten more games worth of lore: he and Nyarly aren't the only eldritch entities walking around like that. Yes, Nyx is one too. Yes, it's probable she may even be their 'mom'. It's possible they all came from Nyx initially, but it's also possible (and should be considered) they too may have been outsiders at one point. We need to ask ourselves how far the human collective unsconsciousness can go. Is that sea infinite? Could it affect other worlds? Think about Aion in Devil Summoner Soul Hackers 2. Yes, I am asking you to think about Soul Hackers 2. Deal with it, I don't care. They're sister series. They share many things. SO! Did the shape of the human mind change a bunch of eldritch creatures and make them interact with us even more after Nyx smacked the moon a gazillion years ago? Is there multiple worlds? Weird bullshit? Just the two? Hmm. Well... I, personally, think so. I think he was touched by humanity just like Nyarlathotep, but in the other way. The reason I bring this up is two-fold. The first is Nodens. Now, we don't know much about the actual Nodens, unfortunately, just some speculation. Which is a shame. (If anyone has more info I'd love to have it, ngl. As a pagan this shit fascinates me.) But what we do get on him in Lovecraftian lore can provide us some intriguing possibilities about Phil's everything, which the games love to keep really rather vague. (And this is putting aside that his human Persona is based off the obviously bogus Jungian Spirit Guide, but we love an old guy in a mask anyway. He probably felt that was more 'friendly' for humans, hah.) I believe that Nodens, and Phil by extension, are just as responsible for nurturing and keeping the collective unconsciousness alive and positive. We see the butterfly symbol everywhere. We see it with Lavenza, too. "This is truly an unjust game." So was the bet Phil made with Nyarly, a game he rigged. Phil made the mistake of thinking the Crawling Chaos wouldn't cheat, a mistake he is never making again, I assume, if he can help it. Shit, you could view his boss fight in P2EP as him trying to train the EP crew to beat the snot out of Nyarly, even. But off topic. If Nyarly is basically the father of all Shadows, and they and Personas are the same coin, it makes me wonder a lot of things. The two have always been portrayed as simultaneously diametrically opposed, but also not? They have identical halls in P2. They have similar powers and talents... I think after Persona 3, Phil's remnants sank into the Collective Unconsciousness, to attempt to rehabilitate humanity from what it lost, from what he himself lost. I think Igor took over the room, because he took a backseat to recover. It would go a long, long way towards explaining why only SOME characters have the tier of the Wild Card, which is similar to the 'original' Persona power. (Having multiple.) He was took weak to remain in his Spirit Guide (Philemon) form, and had to abandon it to return to the depths as Nodens... So. Let me go back to Nodens and make some notes about design.

Nodens, as seen here, sort of resembles an iron maiden. It really brings to mind the idea of maybe Tatsuya or someone's humanoid form sleeping within it, doesn't it? Fitting for an aspect of Philemon! ... You probably can see where I'm going with this, but let me pull up some screens to finish the point:

That's right! It's Azathoth, Baby! I believe that unlike mythology, he's yet another aspect of Philemon. Eldritch positivity, in too much force, could be used for accidental bad, too. (Reasons Maruki is my favorite Law Hero, haha.) Let me explain. I think Philemon always existed in... let's call it parts. Azathoth is said to be a dreaming god in whom's universe we all just happen to be alive inside, right? "Dream of butterfly" (Philemon) "Or is life a dream? Don't wanna wake up. Cuz I'm happy here." That sure is thematic to what Maki goes through in Persona 1, and what Maruki's beloved suffers, isn't it? ISN'T IT. The "true reality" he creates... would help Maruki create in the additional Semester--would be something most humans would never pass the muster to even try to control. But we have seen Phil test a few people and find them worth passing before! However, that seems like ages ago. Why has he been so quiet? I think because he was spending time conserving his energy. He believed in humanity enough to give Makoto a push when it was needed in p3 (or femc, if you play her), but otherwise trusted Igor while he restored what needed it. But in Persona 5 Royal, he hand-picked Maruki, didn't he? At first, when I played Persona 5 Royal, I really thought it was some part of Nyarly, but I no longer believe this to be the case. The coloration and symbolism in the background (the golds, the whole garden of eden themes, the way his Palace was laid out), the whole sea of soul motifs in P3Re later... mmm. I have a lot of thoughts about this, but this post is already way too long for one simple ask. So let's wrap up by going one step further and looking finally at Nodens' dialogue to the party in the Extra Scenario in Persona 2: Eternal Punishment (PSP). The following is a transcript, you can find a video here:

Nodens: This is the memory of the lost child whom you all seek. Nodens: Memory occasionally brings about much distress and suffering, but it is absolutely vital to distinguish oneself from others and manufacture one's own psyche. Nodens: Ever since it began, life's memory has accumulated unbroken, passing through individual experiences and spanning several generations. Nodens: And so it has given shape to Kadath and the Collective Unconsciousness, thereby becoming a foundation for the next generation. Nodens: Even if the roots of the world are directed by fear and anxiety, never forget that the true essence of life is brimming with joy. Nodens: You must not stop seeking the answer for why life was born in a cosmos progressing towards absurdity and chaos. Nodens: Life brims with joy, bringing about balance in a universe predestined to heat death, and that allows the world to live a long time.

So to answer your question, I think he's taken a much subtler role. I think he's influencing people by pretending to be a Persona for Maruki, because he believes it will help them grow. I don't think he was intending a forever-control vice grip, but rather to prove a point. No matter what, the primordial chaos of humanity will rise up for chaotic good, lawful good, whatever "good" is needed. Azathoth is... interesting. Adam Kadmon is also interesting. But mostly I HIGHLY suspect we may see him again in Persona 6, or at least I'm hoping so. It's my personal pet theory by then he'll be less faded and come back to us in a new form of some kind. He's never had a set one, after all. Now for funsies about the dancing game, well, he's a positive guy, he wanted to just make sure everyone had their fitness regimen checked off. Obviously. (This is a joke.) Did the devs intend this? I'm honestly not sure? Like there's a lot of nods to older Personas in 5 and now 3RE especially, but it's definitely worth chewing on. I could go on and on about things I think he's connected to, but ultimately they have the final say lol. I'm just a crackpot conspiracy theorist on tumblr who really likes Philemon. He and the Room are my favorites. :) Ask me about attendants for additional dumb, sometime, I guess lol.

#persona #persona 1 #persona 2 #persona 3 #persona 4 #persona 5 #persona spoilers #p5r #philemon #persona 2 innocent sin #persona 2 eternal punishment #nodens #text #long post;#SORRY NOT SORRY THIS IS ONE OF MY ETERNAL BRAINROT QUESTIONS HERE #I live and breathe overthinking SMTPersona

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unholy-reids · 8 months

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Dilaudid

Summary: Spencer’s life spirals out of control when his dilaudid addiction collides with Gideon’s departure, but he has you to look after him. (Based on Season 3 Episode 3 and previous episodes depicting Gideon’s resignation as well as Reid’s drug addiction.)

Warning: So many… Mentions of drug use and unaliving, some fluff, snappy behavior, vulnerability, idk man, just don’t click if you’re a sensitive to those topics.

Also if you or someone you know has a drug problem or thoughts about not existing anymore, don't hesitate to call any of the hotlines, Help is available, don't forget you matter. ♥️

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

WC: 2.5k

dividers by @cafekitsune <3

Spencer,

I knew it would be you who came to the cabin to check on me.

You must be frightened, I apologize for that. I never meant to cause you any pain. But then I also never envisioned writing this letter. I've searched for a satisfactory explanation for what I'm doing, all I've come up with is: a profiler needs to have solid footing. I- I don't think I do anymore. The world confuses me. The cruelty, indifference, tragedy.

When my dear friend Sarah was murdered, it tore a hole in me, and I truly believed the way to handle the pain was to get back to our work as quickly as possible. Get on to helping somebody else. I thought I could handle Sarah's murder, work through it…

…I no longer trust myself in the field. And without that, I have nothing.

And that was the last domino. The death of that girl. Hotch being suspended over something that was my fault. I said at the beginning of this letter, that I knew it would be you to come up here. I'm so sorry the explanation couldn't be better, Spencer.

And I am so sorry that it doesn't make more sense, but I've already told you, I just don't understand any of it anymore.

I'm sorry.

I guess I'm just looking for it again. For the belief I had back in college. The belief I had when I first met Sarah and it all seemed so right.

The belief in happy endings.

The letter was devastating, Spencer felt alone, the one man in his life that was like a father to him disappeared without a trace, just like Spencer’s dad, Gideon left a letter, even if it didn’t make sense at the time. Hotch was still suspended, and the entire team was now under scrutiny by Strauss and a board of higher ups, but the cases never stopped coming in, the team was on their way to another case, Spencer was by himself on one side of the jet, looking over the file JJ had given him earlier this morning, Prentiss, Morgan, JJ, and you were all briefing each other on the current case you had to work on, the bastard was killing people based on their phobias.

Atop the file Reid was rereading Gideon’s letter, trying to make sense of it, flashbacks of Gideon’s empty cabin and finding the letter addressed to him were vivid in his mind, the craving for dilaudid was coursing through his veins, he could feel himself itch. “Hey,” Your soft voice interrupted causing him to shift in his seat and put away the letter, “Are you okay?” You knew it was a dumb question to ask, but you were genuinely curious to pick at his brain and find out how he really felt, silent Reid was very uncommon, he was your friend and you cared, even though you saw him as much, much, more. Reid gave you a dim smile. “I’m fine,” taking your bottom lip in between your teeth, you reached over to touch his hand, his big brown puppy dog eyes looked at yours and you could see the pain and confusion behind them.

“You don’t have to go through this alone, Reid.” You offered, his brows knit together, “I don’t need you to profile me y/n, it won’t end well, and you can’t possibly know what I’m going through.” He snapped, it made your heart hurt slightly, but you backed off, your crush on the beautiful genius grew each day you got to know him, and seeing him this broken just didn’t sit well with you, or anyone on the team. “Don’t push him, let him come to you,” JJ said, when you sat back down, she was the only one who knew about your feelings for Reid, you wondered if the rest of the team knew, not that you cared.

“I know, it’s just sad to see him that way, he’s closed himself off to all of us,” You glanced back at Spencer, who went back to reading the letter Gideon left him shamelessly leaving the file wide open in front of him.

Upon arrival and working the case, there were little words shared between boy wonder and yourself unless it had to do with the case, being the only ones without assignment, Prentiss sent you both to speak to the family of the unsub, just to see what you could dig up working as a team, you drove while Spencer rode next to you, several times you looked over to him, his red rimmed eyes from lack of sleep and crying was carving a hole around your soul, you cleared your throat. “Spence,” You began. “I know I’m new to the team, and I have absolutely no words to make you feel better, if I could remove the pain however, I would, don’t be afraid to take some time—.”

He looked at you, cutting you off, “Are you saying I can’t do my job?”

“No! No, God no, you’re the smartest person I ever met, if there’s anyone who can do this job with his eyes closed is you, I just want you to know that you can trust me, with anything, and if you need time to heal, it’s okay…”

He looked far ahead, not wanting to look at you. “I also had Gideon, look at how that turned out.” He snapped back. You tried your best to not let your emotions get the best of you. “I’m just saying you’re not alone Spence,” You looked over at him, he was already staring at you, and even if it was for a few seconds, it made your heart thump loudly in your ears, “The team’s here for you, I’m here for you.” He gave you the same dim smile as you approached your destination, stepping out of the vehicle you watched him fix his holster, it made you smile, only Reid could look completely helpless and handsome at the same time.

After interviewing the unsub’s wife you picked up your cell phone to call the rest of the team. “His wife just informed us that her family owns property, if the unsub’s practice has been shut down maybe this is where he carries out the murders.” With this new information, Prentiss ordered the both of you to stay put, within three hours you received a phone call from the Prentiss letting you know the case had ended in tragedy, he’d taken the coward way out, instead of facing justice for what he’d done, you informed the family of what Dr. Stanley had done and with profuse condolences you headed back to the jet, that was waiting to fly to Quantico, you left Spencer alone for the time being, donning on your headphones and trying your best to enjoy the flight after such an outcome.

From the corner of your eye you noticed Spencer looking at you, then looking away, but he said nothing, even when you were safely indoors at the BAU, Spencer was quiet, distant, no random statistics, no random book quotes, he was mute. When it was time to go home, Spencer was the only one who left without saying good night, you watched his tall figure walk away and disappear into the elevator, Morgan was quick to sit on your desk and look at you inquisitively. “So, pretty girl, when are you gonna tell him?” You knew exactly what he was talking about, your eyes darted to his face, he sported a boyish grin. “How did you—”

“I ain’t a profiler for nothin’ so, when are you gonna tell him?” He asked again.

“Spencer needs a break, I can’t just bombard him with my feelings, when what he needs is a friend.” You confided, Morgan shook his head. “You want to support him right?” He asked, you nodded. “Why are you still sitting behind that desk then?” You smiled at the man and stood up, grabbing your bag and a few files. “Good luck y/n,” You heard Morgan behind you, shaking your head you got into the elevator and straight to your car, driving towards Spencer’s apartment. You were hesitant at first, but you pushed yourself up the stairs and stood in front of his door, knocking lightly you realized the door was open, which was odd for Spencer, with immediate concern you drew your weapon and decided to investigate. “Spence?” No answer, venturing further into the apartment, you noticed his bag and his gun neatly on the sofa. “Spencer?” You called out again, silence.

Approaching his room, you carefully pushed in the door, finding Spencer sitting on the floor with his back leaning onto the bed and a needle in his hand, upon noticing you, he looked up, a sad expression on his face, it was clear he’d already taken the drug, you put away your gun and knelt beside him, normally you were able to contain your emotions, compartmentalize them well, but seeing him like this just devastated you, you held him close, as you both cried in silence, with his own help you were able to put him to bed, when you were about to turn around and head to his living room, a weak hand held your arm. “Stay… Please?” He asked, without a doubt you got into bed with him allowing him to be the little spoon as you nursed his high, you didn’t want to reprimand him, but you knew this had to stop, or else this brilliant man was going to fade into addiction.

You held him, and no words were spoken between the two, you ran your fingers through his brown locks until the dilaudid made him fall asleep, taking advantage of this, you were able to get off his bed and take a look around his place, it was messy, dusty and it was clear he hadn’t been picking up after himself, sitting on his couch you allowed yourself to cry, and made yourself a promise then and there to take care of him and help him, backing up what you told him with actions instead of simply words. While Spencer slept, you checked his fridge and it was absolutely abysmal, now you were a woman on a mission, you headed to his local supermarket and got him fruits, veggies, snacks and other goodies, plus all you needed to make him a soup, once you got back upstairs you'd occasionally check on him only to find him still asleep, since Prentiss was left in charge of the team while Hotch was suspended, you called her and made sure that Spencer as well as yourself, had at least two weeks off at the BAU she approved even if you didn't explain why both of you needed the same time off. You set yourself a goal of helping Spencer detox, he would never accept treatment from a facility, that would mean he had to accept the fact that he had an addiction to begin with, Spencer might be a genius but he was prideful.

As you moved around the kitchen the smells were intertwining with each other and you felt his presence, turning around you found Spencer, leaning in the kitchen doorway, watching you cook. “I heard your phone call, I can’t take two weeks off,” He began, his eyes resting on you. “I’m not letting you poison yourself anymore Reid.” You held a ladle in your hands as he stared you up and down. “You can’t just come here and act like you want to fix me, y/n.”

You continued to stir the soup and adding the noodles to it, covering it and turning around to face him, as you spoke you slowly came closer to him. “I’m not trying to fix you Spencer, I’m trying to bring back the man who tells me the origin of Halloween, I’m trying to resurrect the Reid I met a year ago, the one that didn’t need drugs to help him cope, I want my friend back,” You were now looking up at him, staring into his eyes. “Gideon left, and I understand you’re upset but you need to remember that out of the rest of the team, the only person he left a reason, a letter, possibly an explanation, was you Spence, now please… Let me help you,” sweat pooled on Spencer’s forehead, taking his hand you took him to the bathroom. “Shower, clean up, by the time you’re finished the soup will be ready,” His brows knit together, finally understanding that you were really here for him.

Midway into the bathroom, he turned on his heel, “Thank you, y/n.” He said softly as the door closed behind him, Expelling a sigh, you looked around the apartment again, pinpointing where to start cleaning, You began with his books, putting them all in alphabetical order as he would like it, dusting as you went on, this wouldn’t be easy, but with love, books, soup, and patience, you were well on your way to restoring the honorable Dr. Spencer Reid.

A/N: If you guys would like a second part to this, please, please, please let me know. I don't bite! Suggestions, Replies, Reblogs, and likes are all welcome.

#dr spencer reid #reid x reader #reid x y/n #matthew gray gubler #criminal minds fandom #bau #criminal minds fanfiction #mgg fluff #mgg x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds

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katsigian · 13 days

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Kinda hurts a little when you've spent years creating a specific character in a specific universe for hardly anyone to see them, only for someone else to do the exact same concepts and get applauded for it. Did I just do it that badly or something

I remember when I first made all of my OCs supernatural in early 2022. I was one of the first people in [redacted] fandom who made it canon and talked openly about how my OC were vampires. And I got harassed for it endlessly. People were in my asks and dms telling me it was cringe and overpowered and lame, and that I was dumb to think anyone would care. Regardless of all of that, I kept them around and didn't stop talking about them. And then everyone else caught on and also made supernatural OCs because I helped to normalize it. Which isn't the problem, make as many supernatural OCs as you like, I'm not telling people to stop. That's not what bothers me (I have to add that disclaimer bc someone will undoubtedly try to get offended).

I think what upsets me is that it feels like I talk into a void sometimes and it sometimes feels like I don't have a place to share the things I'm proud of. I have an entire world that I made and this intertwined network of 10+ original characters and I just don't know where to talk about them or how to talk about them. I know we're "supposed to create for ourselves" and to "share it for good reasons", but it's really hard to put myself in that mindset. I don't do it for clout and I never will, I love my characters too much for that. Maybe I've just been doing a bad job of sharing anything about my world and characters, that is highly likely. I just can't help but remember the times I did share things and they went completely unnoticed

Just a little bit of acknowledgement would be nice. I think I'd be happy with that. Just a little bit of acknowledgement for the way I've had to fight to have my supernatural OCs exist in a cyberpunk setting in a hostile fandom. Just a little acknowledgement of the months of effort I put into my characters. And that would be all. Or maybe I'll learn how to just ignore everything and just keep doing as I have been. Putting my head and continuing on, savoring those small bits of genuine friendly interest when they come my way. That's good too

#let me make it clear that i am not begging for sympathy or notes #do not get that twisted #this is just a vent. me venting mostly to myself about my feelings on something. please don't take this as some sort of concrete truth #i'm expressing my own very conflicted emotions towards my experiences in this fandom and how i've had to fight just to be accepted #many people really did not want to accept that i created vampires in a cyberpunk setting #i am just very conflicted and anxious surrounding the whole thing. i don't know how to proceed #i just know for certain that i don't want to do it by myself and alone anymore #katsi.txt

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meowmeowriley · 3 months

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Rules: Post the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! Tag as many people as you have WIPS!

If you saw the original, no you didn't. Lol sorry, had to do some housekeeping here on my blog, and had to redo this post.

Right well, here's the thing, I have way more WIPs than I do moots 😅 butttttt I'll drop what I've got. Please please please ask me about any of them! I'm begging for interaction!

1) Little Meow Meow - my first fic, it's not abandoned, catboy!Ghost is also unkillable and emo.

2) Poké-Pandemonium - Pokémon and secrets. Here soon I aim to make people cry with it ❤ (soon as in within the next couple of chapters, whenever I put them out)

3) More Than Just Loose Ends - 09 Ghost has been watching over and mentoring 22 Ghost his whole life

4) Oh, Brother - my most popular fic, told through the eyes of Erin MacTavish (John's sister) and Tommy Riley. Baby's first realistic and in character AU.

5) I Don't Think We're in Space Anymore - Ghost is a shape-shifting alien and also chaotic as fuck. And horny. Whoops.

6) Was tHat thE BiTe oF 22 - FNAF but all the characters are replaced with COD characters. It's my little abomination.

7) Be Kind, Rewind - Ghost is suddenly 10 years younger. Young dumb and full of cum. Seriously, being 19 means he's got that teenager horndog thing goin on.

On to the ones that haven't been posted yet

8) Duo Fatui - Unus Annus, but make it Soap and Ghost

9) Is That Gonna be a Problem? - Ghost and Soap met before the events of MW2, and were secretly together during the game. This is the story of their relationship.

10) Cohabitation - ghost!Ghost and Zombie!Ghost share one body. They're the same person, so it's not difficult. They banter like siblings.

11) Lost a Bet - Ghost lost a bet with Gaz, so Gaz gets to design his next mask. Gaz designs a cat skull mask, and Ghost bonds with a bunch of stray cats on base.

12) Outlaw Outta Time - some of the COD boys get sent back in time and meet up with a certain outlaw. COD RDR2 crossover. It's a fix it for Arthur ❤

13) unnamed fic about trans Ghost dropping hints that he's trans and Soap who thought he was straight being really confused by the boners he gets around Ghost.

14) unnamed fic about Soap thinking Ghost has a girlfriend, that they're on their way to rescue, when it is in fact a dog. Ghost is fully aware of the miscommunication and thinks it's funny, so he doesn't clarify

15) unnamed fic about Ghost and Soap getting sucked into our world a la Supernatural's The French Mistake. They have to pretend to be Samuel and Neil until they figure out how to get home

WHOO BOY! I think that's all of them. And they're all Ghost/Soap except the FNAF one, because they're children.

Mooties who aren't already on this list, no pressure though! @myriadblvck @27potatochips @resident-idiot-simp @tacticaltaxonomist @ratpiss0

#cod mw2 #ghostsoap #soapghost #ghoap #fanfic #ao3 #call of duty #unus annus #rdr2 #my wips #current wip

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moose-mousse · 10 months

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Going to make a "Getting started with GIT" Post

(This is my getting the "why are you making that post" out of the way, so that the posts with the actual information does not get polluted by it. And also polling people on what they find confusing about GIT so I can target that a bit better) So I re-blogged a post with a really nice GIT diagram, showing what commands sends what where. And I noticed 3 things in the replies and reblog. 1: A lot of people seem to be intimidated by the perceived complexity of GIT. That is fair. But I promise, while HOW it works is complicated, using it is not. 2: Many have it on a TODO list for after they learn to code. Which is... backwards. It would be like waiting with learning how to use a keyboard until after you have become a good writer. Trust me, learning GIT as one of the first things will make it EASIER to learn to code. 3: Several people suggested that GIT is overcomplicated. That is... simply not true. It is one of the old school pieces of software (Meaning it does 1 thing, is open-source, free and is impossible to monetize). It does something very very complicated in the simplest way possible. I think people simply do not understand how complicated the problem GIT solves is. I am not saying "People are dumb" (I think... anyone thinking that is fundamentally missing something in how the world works.), I am saying "People seem to be either misinformed or not informed". And that I can help with!

I WILL make a "Getting started with GIT" Post, but if people want an easy explanation for something more, then I will also make posts for those later... Or maybe they fit in as part of a getting started post. We shall see

#programming #coding #teaching #codeblr #polls #git

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yinsuniverse · 5 months

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🍷🎴𝘓𝘦𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭

Contains: Long post,Shifting tips, How to manage your reality. Mentions of racism and being a woman. Mentions of being a man. Self harm. Curses

🍷-First we have to state that people won't ever love you reality shifting,Our minds were programmed by the government themselves to only think about the reality in front of us. I never thought that I would need to say this but yes you can shift even though your black.

❗-Peoples minds are so weak that they can't even comprehend the fact that reality shifting is real, Understand that shifting isn't lucid dreaming and never will be. People make death threats in my dm's in my comments and does it look like we should care, We shouldn't because guess what while they are over in this reality suffering to pay their bills get their hair done. We are in another reality living our best lives.

📣- "You can only live once!" Reality shifters are literally like "Nuh uh". Every time you are alone look at your hands, Your face your hair and realize " God damn I'm powerful!." And guess what even people who believe in god are shifters.

🍄- I highly recommend permanently shifting as soon as possible, People shift to escape this reality why have so much fun in your Dr then come back to this bull shit of this reality. Have you ever heard of the Yin and Yang symbol.

🍎- You're a spirit have you ever heard of divine feminism and divine masculinity. It shows how divine you are you should look into it,Also are we not gonna talk about these dumb ass people out here who are like "Gen z really thanks astrology and blah blah blah are gonna help them like that's spiritual." You can read the Bible or not but astrology is mentioned I can send you a screenshot in dms cause I'm not trying to get killed by the government.

🎴- Every time you think about not wanting to shift, I want you to write down your goal. Your thoughts on why you don't want to shift and put it under your pillow. That little effort could go a long way.

💋- You shift every second with the decision you make, Shifting is easy I don't care that you have been trying for 3 years (Edit:Okay that sounds rude I'm sorry pookie I do care) Keep trying until you get what you want. STOP joking about you being ugly it doesn't matter if it's a joke. People can tell you "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt" That involves spelling that's why it's called spelling because every time you look in the mirror and say "God damn I'm ugly" You just put a spell on yourself to make you ugly.

🏮- Your spirt was here before you, Unless you learn your lesson of this life then you are gonna just keep having more and more lives unless you learn your lesson. I personally think that the lesson of this life was to learn to be free and accept my gender. I grew up with my father constantly putting me down because I was a woman. And to others who are reading this and suffering from the same problems just know this You are a gem, A beautiful creation you are divine and find you another man/Woman/Person/Monster whoever will treat you like that and don't go or settle for any less. This generation calls it "Simping" I call it love.

🔬- I pray to god and I pray to my higher self, You may be like "Oh gosh you are one of them." YES INDEED I AM and you should be too. Your body is a Temple and you should take care of it. Every time you harm yourself or say something bad to yourself imagine the most beautiful divine temple in the world slowly cracking breaking down crumbling with every word every scar. That's how you should treat your body, When you say something good to your self imagine that temple healing or imagine your spirit putting more decorations on the temple fixing it peace by peace. YOU MATTER.

🔖- My father always tells me "This world doesn't give a fuck about you." I know damn well it does, and to the person reading this know this. I care about you. I don't care about how many crimes you committed how bad of a person you think you are. I CARE.

📌- Don't get too deep into it, I thought people were joking when they said that opening your third eye would possibly be the end of you,People reading this shit probably think I'm insane everyone thinks you are when you really see the shit that's going on. You can really see through people I have notes from my notion that I'm gonna import right here.

"Astral project is where you leave your body attached to it with a silver cord, And travel the 4th dimension it's not like a dream at all, and in fact, it's more real than you right now because your pure consciousness you can travel the universe and find the truth of anything and everything. You can go back in time and go places where you can’t even go physically, Some people can hear beyond the human ear and people can read emotions and feelings basically physical powers. Some people can see things beyond the human eye aka being able to see into the 4th dimension.

The 4th dimeson is a realm, there are infinite realms or dimesons. If you get what I'm saying like in stranger things they could hear the person but can not see or touch them. Certain people can not comprehend certain things and that's why they don’t care or dislike that thing because their mind is not strong enough to comprehend the power of such. That's why you can tell someone and show them that shifting is real and they wouldn't believe it because their 3d minds can’t comprehend the 4d. 4th dimensional creatures or beings could steal from your safes for example, Appear in a room that has no entrance take rest into your physical body, or jump into your dreams. You can hear people calling your name or bugs crawling on your skin and not see anyone or anything there. You need to learn how to see with not just your two eyes but also your 3rd.

Opening your 3rd eye isn’t as fun as think, You see beyond normal dimesons see beyond people damn even read people’s minds your world isn't going to ever be the same again because you're going to see the truth of the world and see beyond the physical. You're going to become aware of how dangerous certain foods really are and be more conscious about what you put on and into your body. Certain things that you use can block your pineal gland. The enemy wants that because they don’t want you to know how powerful you truly are. Fluoride is in toothpaste lots of people use toothpaste almost every day and fluoride calcifies the pineal gland. It's in the water the food damn near in the fucking air."

Sun gazing is a great way to decalcify your pineal gland. If you do it wrong it can really damage your eyes, Sun gazing is best when the sun is actually going down or when it is rising, This also comes intercepted with the 3 a.m. theory where it's most powerful i will talk about that later. Drugs like weed and mushrooms literally blow open that pioneer gland and that is why the enemy has made them “illegal substances” but if you do take the drugs fast before that. (People who can do it are the people of the 12 tribes from the Christian belief)

📍- That was my ramble back then, If you wanna really get deep deep into it. Find all the religions and combine them together even.. Yk and what I mean by that is by pieces for my religion I want you to think of a vase, and that it is broken think of the other religions as pieces that will help me build the glass together and no matter the shape it makes me get the glass that I desire. My beliefs will never fit into the ones that will exists in this reality. (Probably makes no sense)

🚩- That's it..I have more I wanna talk about so bad so if you wanna hear it give me a reblog and a like and feel free to to ask me things. My anons are off because if someone has a problem with me shifting I want them to say it to my face cause don't expect me not to get smart back on the internet.

- Yin

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deke-rivers-1957 · 2 months

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Kissin Cousins Review

After Viva Las Vegas went over budget, Colonel Parker as the technical advisor pushed the panic button. The next immediate film had its budget slashed and everything was rushed just to make back any money lost. The production was very cheap despite a somewhat ambitious story of having Elvis play 2 characters.

Despite being made after Viva Las Vegas, Kissin Cousins came out first making for a very jarring experience if seen back to back. A lot of people HATE this movie because of the concept and cheap production, indicating that Colonel's plan didn't work as he expected. After all, if you only spend a grand total of a $1 million dollars on a movie, you only need $1,000,001 to make a profit. Does Kissin Cousins have some good parts to it or is it all bad and should never be mentioned again? Let's find out.

Kissin Cousins is a pleasant opening song. It's not something that blows you away but it's a nice little ditty with cute art. It makes me wonder why we never had an animated film as those were usually way cheaper than a regular movie. Yes animation in the 60s wasn't as big of an industry as it is now, but if Colonel wanted to value cheap production, animation would've been the way to go.

We get introduced to the conflict of the movie: The military wants a military base on the Tatums mountain land in the Smokey Mountains. The Tatums don't want to sell as they don't trust the government. As stereotypical as this sounds, this was a pretty common experience. The only issue I have with this element is that they want to show this as the Air Force, but everyone is dressed in Army uniforms. Josh starts off wearing a more accurate uniform but we quickly do away with that. A sign already that no one cared enough to make things accurate.

We also see very quickly that this movie is so cheap they can't even film b-roll footage of the real Appalachian Mountains. Instead we get Southern California mountains and Hollywood sets. As much as it sounds like a nitpick, the mountains are a mega important part of the movie. Depicting the real mountains would add more immersion into the story by showcasing how these people live. Smokey Mountain Boy as a song doesn't stand out on its own. It does sound lovely in the context of the movie. It sounds like the type of song a military man would sing. We get a dumb joke about mountaineers not knowing how to spell and the girls not knowing what Jodie looks like. If you look very closely we get another sign that the movie is cheap in the form of a faint yellow line in the middle of the screen. That's meant to be the filter that allows Elvis to play both Josh and Josh at once. More on that later.

We find out that Jodie actually isn't their brother. He's a cousin too and my whole world just blew up. This whole time I thought they were all siblings because he lived with them like he's their brother. There's Gold in the Mountains is bad. The lip-synching is non-existent. It's very apparent that neither Azalea or Selena's actress are actually singing. They sound nothing like they're speaking voices. I don't think this song was really necessary and could've been cut if it wasn't for a quota. Ma calls Jodie her nephew and man I want to know this man's story. There's so many ways you can go about this and show how this could significantly impact his character and his decisions.

Pappy is an amazing character. Arthur O'Connell really shows his range as he sounds nothing like Pop Kwimper from Follow That Dream. Despite being the same character of the government disdaining patriarch on paper, you really get the idea that this is a completely different person. Pappy and Pop are similar but are not the same. What I don't like is that his clothes are seen as dirty and full of holes. Jodie and the sisters don't have that problem so unless Pappy just got done wrestling some pigs, this is purely for laughing at dirty uncivilized Southerners. While it is unfortunate that some of them lived that way, this isn't the Tatums' situation.

Ma's an amazing character too and it only highlights my point that she wouldn't accept anyone in the family to be walking around in unkempt clothing. She would've immediately patched up any holes she found. You get the idea that she isn't someone to push around. She respects Pappy's authority but she also has her own authority. Ma is willing to flip Jodie right on his butt if he disrespects her despite Jodie easily being bigger than her. In real life, an average sized woman being able to flip over what I consider to be a 200 lb man would be super impressive. We clearly get the idea that Pappy loves it. He wants his wife to be a strong woman who doesn't take disrespect from anyone.

This whole scene insults Southerners by having them own a Confederate Flag in the house, eat possums and other stereotypical "white trash" food like this is a regular occasion. Like it's something they take pride in eating and wouldn't want to eat anything else. Note: people only eat that when there's nothing else available. It would only make sense if they were proud of Ma being able to make do with what little they had but again this isn't what they're going through. They have pigs so it makes no sense why they still eat possums outside of stereotyping.

We get a visual gag of the captain turning green. This is such a cheap special effect. It looks like they just shined a green light over his face like we're in a cartoon. So bizarre and only exists because "haha isn't mountain food so disgusting." Totally unnecessary especially with how long they drag the joke of no one knowing what an ICBM is. In real life, if this family was as ignorant as the movie makes them out to be, they would not survive.

One Boy, Two Little Girls is a very boring ballad. It adds nothing to the movie and is just filler. We already got a song with him singing to the sisters and learn nothing new. You can just cut to Josh talking to Azalea and Selena about how to convince Pappy. This whole interaction between Josh with Azalea and Selena is weird. We're supposed to think he digs both of them.

Catchin On Fast which is just as shallow. The song itself isn't bad, but in the context of the movie it comes out of nowhere. Josh just randomly picks Azalea over Selena. Yes we get the drama that Selena has to get married first, but outside of that there's no reason for him to pick Azalea. Yes it could be a matter of Josh preferring brunettes but it's never established to be the reason why he likes Azalea more. Admittedly I love that Selena isn't jealous of Azalea or mad that Josh picked her sister over her. In a different Elvis movie we know that would've been a conflict that lasted throughout the whole movie.

We get introduced to Midge and Jodie completely looks smitten. This is a completely different side of him. It's implied that he's had relations with more than one Kittyhawk woman but becomes such a different man around Midge. In that moment, none of the other women matter anymore. Midge is the only woman on his mind and you have to wonder what about her captures his attention. Maybe it's because she's not immediately throwing herself at him or seems interested in him at all. Just by this scene alone, Midge does not give a single care that he's staring at her. If anything she straights up ignores him after they're introduced.

Watching Azalea interact with the Kittyhawks when they give them their own bikinis is the only difference we get. Azalea actively stands up to them and puts them in their place. She doesn't tolerate their actions. Ma puts her foot down when she sees that this turned everything upside down and I can understand where she's coming from. If Azalea and Selena are disrespecting her and the Kittyhawks are causing nothing but trouble, of course she would be upset.

The reporter exposes their plan to get the mountain base and the plan is all coming apart when the general contacts the captain about going up to the mountain. The captain orders Midge to go to Ma and try to smooth things over. Despite this being the 60s, the captain treats Midge like any other subordinate. He's not overly harsh or lenient with her just because she's a woman. Now that's gender equality. She runs into Jodie and at first we think Jodie's going to act like a pig and a wolf. And he does act like that, but what makes this movie better than most is that he gets his comeuppance. Yes it's meant to be a source of comedy but given the 60s, Midge being allowed to push back against horny men is incredible. She grins and bears it when it's the other military men because a lot of them may outrank her and pushing back would be horrific. But since Jodie has no authority over her, she pushes back. In other movies Jodie would be a creep who escalates his advancements after every rejection. But he doesn't. He saw the look on Midge's face when she thought he got hurt. She doesn't actually hate him, she just hates how forward and physical he is.

Based on their social situations, you can clearly see how it influences these women's reactions to male attention. Midge is just so used to men seeing her for her body and nothing else that when in a situation where she can push back against that behavior she will do it, while the Kittyhawks hardly ever see men so any attention or interaction with men would be like giving kids candy after denying them that for so long. And whether he fully realizes it or not, Jodie has to acknowledge that Midge really isn't like other girls but her own person. So he changes his approach to serenading Midge with Tender Feeling. Easily the best song in the movie and actually adds depth to Jodie's character. Even though he's a cocky jock, this song actually matters by showing that he's capable of being more than that. It still fails but even when it fails the only thing on Jodie's mind isn't a notch on his bed post it's WEDDING BELLS. He had full choice of any Kittyhawk out there to marry. He could've married any one of them at any time. But he doesn't want to be with any of them. He wants Midge. You can make an argument that as soon as he saw Midge for the first time, he wanted to marry her. Unbelieveable how this side character in a cheap Elvis production actually has some type of character arc.

Meanwhile, Azalea tries to convince Ma about changing her mind. I know the movie wants to make us feel bad about it, but we don't have any reason to feel bad. I don't feel anything for this relationship. Outside of Josh being different than the other mountain men, there's no real reason for her to like him. I care more about Hezekiah missing Pappy and he's a dog.

So they go to find Pappy and all of the men except for the captain and Jodie get captured by the Kittyhawk women. For once an Elvis character doesn't like being appreciated by multiple women. I guess it's meant to show how Josh is more "civilized" than Jodie. We get another Joe Esposito appearance in this movie and he actually gets a line.

Ma actually gets a song lamenting the loss of her husband. Pappy, Won't You Please Come Home is actually a pretty appropriate song. It shows just how much she loves him. The vocals could be better but it doesn't have to be professional because within the context of the movie, Ma isn't a professional singer. Pitch doesn't matter when you're sad.

We find out Pappy got chased by a bear and got stuck in a tree. The wide shot of him being stuck in a tree is so bad. You can tell this is a stunt double since Arthur O'Connell is too old to be doing stuff like this. Even when you can see his face you can tell he's only dangling on a wire and it's not even clear how he's caught. I get we needed something to get Josh on the family's good side but they could've done this a bit better. You would think this would be when Josh and Jodie would have to work together to save Pappy, but I guess that would've just been too hard to film. Again if Jodie had a real character arc this would be the moment when he realizes "hey Josh just isn't doing this because he's told to. He genuinely cares about us. He acts like he's kin."

We get a good old fashioned hoedown and hi where did all these people come from? Up until now we've had the Tatums and the Kittyhawks as the only people who live on this mountain. So why is there a whole village of people here? It completely changes the Kittyhawk women's reason to exist. If you imply that there's literally no other man on this mountain outside of Jodie, then these women being boy crazy make perfect sense. Now that we know Jodie isn't the only young man, they just look like a stereotype that women are promiscuous.

Barefoot Ballad fits so well with Jodie's character but watch out foot phobic people because it's exactly as it says on the tin. The dancing however, isn't that great. It shows just how rushed this movie's production wise. I guess it could work in that in universe these aren't professionals but as a movie it could be better. This is where the song quota kicks in as we get yet another song in the span of not even five minutes. Once Is Enough is fine but it's still filler. The dancing is still bad as one of them actually falls down and it stayed in the final cut. Based on Pappy's little speech I would've thought he would start singing. Heck even the captain who would later play Grandpa Joe showed he could sing in Willy Wonka so it's not like we couldn't have had a Pappy song.

After all this time, Jodie finally gets a character moment where he warms up to Josh. While Jodie internally realizes that Josh was alright when he saved Pappy, this would've been the perfect moment to showcase that he's willing to compliment Josh. If only he had more of a role in the movie because what little we get shows a pretty engaging character arc. Midge coming around would've been a natural reason for him to warm up to city folk. I could make a whole post about how I would write his character since there's so much potential.

The Kittyhawk women actually play an important role by sending the general in circles. That's what makes this movie great. Everyone has a part to play even if they start off as a joke. Pappy gets in a drinking contest with the captain. I have to laugh that Jodie managed to snap Pappy's suspenders when Pappy tries to run away. It actually adds to Jodie's claim that he's the champion and therefore strongest man in the mountains. Ma makes it clear that they have to talk things over so Josh and Pappy try to make a deal over a game of checkers. Jodie actually tries to help Josh out by getting the captain sober. If only they took advantage of them looking alike and had Jodie disguise himself as Josh. Jodie would have to swallow his pride because he knows if this deal fails, he would lose Midge as she's a WAC.

It isn't until Josh comes up with a deal allowing Pappy to continue selling his moonshine without "revenoor" interference. They also get protection and $1000 a month for the land. The deal goes through and everyone ends up happy. The one thing I wish was better explained is how despite all these people being on the mountain, Pappy is somehow the leader. I think if we had so much as a line about how these people came from distant villages would be enough as it's not like the military intended on buying the entire mountain.

Kissin Cousins (Number 2) is a banger of a song and I really like Jodie's twang when he sings but wow the production is cheap. They don't even bother cropping the shot above where you can actually see Lance LeGault (Elvis' body double) in the background. This isn't the first nor only time either. Throughout the movie and during the song when they switch back and forth between Josh and Jodie, we can see his face by accident. Elizabeth Montgomery in Bewitched had to do something similar when she had to play Samantha and her identical cousin Serena. That episode came out in 1966 and managed to do a better job. A TV show somehow did the same concept better than an actual Hollywood produced film. It's so sad that production was rushed to the point of basic editing mistakes and mistakes in general are left in. Even the ending where the characters hold up "The End" signs feels like this is a cheap high school production instead of a Hollywood movie.

This movie has several problems. As I've said the production is cheap with songs that are nothing but filler and at times have noticeable mistakes, Josh is a very boring character with an uninteresting romance in Azalea, Jodie makes you wonder why they wanted Elvis to play two characters when one of them doesn't even do that much, and they outright insult Southerners by using very cliched stereotypes.

So why do I like this movie in spite of these problems? Because the story has enough good elements that you can actually fix the problems without having to completely change the movie. It's like a Clambake in that I would consider the highlights to be enough to cover the glaring errors in it. If this movie had a different production team or a better budget I would say this story is one of the better ones for an Elvis movie. Therefore I would give this movie a 7/10. This is a movie that best exemplifies how Colonel's interference directly hurt a movie that otherwise would've been great. I highly recommend watching it so you get the perspective of how poorly Hollywood thought of Southerners, yet still have the Tatum family feel like real people.

AN: Shout out to the discord besties for providing commentary about how the Tatum family showcased the bad light Hollywood painted the South in. Especially @grizelda71-blog. Your notes in particular helped me see both the good and the bad in this movie. Also shout out to @smokeymountainboy for your work as Jodie inspiring me to review this movie this month.

Tagging: @arrolyn1114, @thedaisymaisy, @that-hotdog, @peaceloveelvis, @imaginationlast, @fuzzymusic94, @helen06dreamer, @sfull12345, @briefpandatimemachine, @alittlemoreelvis, @lynettethemadscientist, @motht-eeth, @ash-omalley, @spooky-hazex, @teamnefarious, @blighted-star, @ab4eva, @oh-my-front-door, @father-of-2cats, @atleastpleasetelephone, @xanatenshi, @crazymadpassionatelove, @burnthheparaphilia, @aliengoth3 @stormie-ryan23, @yksuwyksud, @tacozebra051, @alienelvisobsession, @vintageoldsoul, @ohmygiddd, @lovininapinkcadillac, @stephthestallion, @mistyspresley, @bisexualwvtson, @ahundredlifetime, @karel-in-wonderland, @elvispresleywife, @georgefairbrother, @moonchild-daniella, @musiclover712, @worldofyns, @sillybookmarks, @g00d2balive, @leighpc, @generoustreemystic, @peskybedtime, @thetaoofzoe, @renegadewarrior, @vintagepresley, @tupelomiss, @myradiaz, @pinkcaddyconfessions, @kiankiwi, @presley72elvis, @delulubutidontcare, @januarypresley1969, @livelaughelvis, @hooked-on-elvis, @slayingjd, @ilivebecauseiamforced, @dusintv, @cattcb, @eapep, @jaqueline19997, @richardslady121, @iloveelvis2, @lett-them-eatt-cake, @if-i-can-dream-of-elvis, and @lookingforrainbows.

#jodie tatum #jodiexmidge #josh morgan #kissin cousins #1964 #elvis film #elvis film review

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