#this probably sounds insane and it is

[xieyaohuan]

I am officially fucked now that I've experienced business class on a transcontinental flight because I've been looking at flights for a trip where I need to pay my own way, and the moment I see that economy costs more than EUR 600 my brain immediately switches to "Well then I might as well pay the EUR 2600 for a business flight!"

I blame it on growing up piss poor. In my mind, EUR 600 and EUR 2600 are roughly the same because they both are "a shit ton of money"/"more than I should ever spend on anything," so my brain tells itself "why should I fly economy for 'a lot of money' if I can also fly sooo much more comfortably for the exact same price of 'also a lot of money?'"

I have to force myself to subtract 600 from 2600, and then I can see that the difference is 2000 (which in my brain has the same value as 600 and 2600 in that it is also "more than I should ever spend on anything"), and then my brain understands I can actually save "a lot of money" by flying economy.

#personal #this probably sounds insane and it is #but I lived off of only euro 400 per month (including rent and all utilities) for a reeeally long time #I could not afford to buy clothes until I was 29 when I got my first good job and lived exclusively off of clothes donations #so I still have a hard time understanding the differences between all sums larger than 500 #it's a huge mental barrier and not at all rational and I fully understand this #and I also objectively understand that 2600 is a lot more than 600 but *emotionally* the two sums are the same to me #and it means that 99% of the time I'm super stingy #and then occasionally I splurge in really insane ways #In many ways this is a first world problem and really dumb but it also comes from poverty trauma and feels like a bit of a disability #aaaaanyway

[the-algebra-thing]

so again, I'm rereading howl's moving castle LMFAO and truly diana wynne jones' disdain for in depth sensory description is sooo cool. I think I've arrived at one of the most basic things that fascinates me about this book and that drew me in and it's something about how descriptive language and tone intersect. there's a lot of two-step visual description, but very little of the specific descriptive language I'm accustomed to. I can know that something looks lightweight because of the way that michael is carrying it, or that the slime is green and has a weird reaction when you dump ash on it, or that michael obviously wished he had not spoken, or that from the way howls feet are braced it's clear he is exerting great force, but it's almost rare that there's a plain description of what's going on. even if there is a proper one, there's always an opinion or extrapolation at the end of it: the wind tore at sophie's face so savagely that she thought she'd end up with half her face behind each ear. generally what I find is that instead of inferring how a character must feel based on how they are acting, you get to make up the specifics about a character's actions or experience based on how the narrator tells you they feel about it. the writing isn't broken down into small pieces for you to put together; it's made of big ones. a single description hits about three different ideas, and there's another similar one in the next paragraph, and you have to keep up. it drives the story along at a committed pace as well as makes the magic system feel very unique, and then that uniquely maintained system becomes scaffolding for the story's themes to grow off of

#in unfathomable detail #howl's moving castle #diana wynne jones #i probably sound insane sorry #you guys don't have to read this #I just need to diary it so I can understand someday..

[phenakistoskope]

There is a difference between Bollywood and Bombay cinema?

listen, subcontinental cinema began in bombay; the very first exhibition of the lumieres' cinematographe was held there in 1896, a few months after its debut in paris, 1895. this event predates the discursive existence of bollywood and hollywood. shree pundalik and raja harishchandra, the films that are generally considered the very first subcontinental features were also exhibited there first.

subcontinental cinema under british colonialism was produced in certain metropolitan centers such as lahore, hyderabad, and calcutta; bombay was just one of them. in 1947, when the indian nation state was formally inaugurated, the idea of a "national cinema" began forming, but given the cultural and linguistic heterogeneity of the indian union, this was quite untenable. regional popular cinemas flourished well into the 1950, 60s, 70s, and 80s and various art cinemas began taking shape alongside.

under the economy that i'm going to completely elide as "nehruvian "socialism"" bombay cinema focused on broadly "socialist" themes, think of awara (1951), do beegha zameen (1953), pyaasa (1957), all of which focus on inequality in indian economy and society from different perspectives. these films were peppered in with historical dramas, and adaptations from literature, but the original stories tended towards socialist realism. reformist films centering the family generally waxed poetic on the need to reform the family, but i haven't seen enough of these to really comment on them.

the biggest hit of the 70s, sholay (1975) was about two criminals, posited as heroes fighting gabbar singh who was attacking village folk. deewar (1975) also had two heroes, and the stakes were the two brothers' father's reputation; the father in question was a trade union leader accused of corruption.

"alternative cinema" included mani kaul's uski roti (1969) and Duvidha (1973) both of which were situated away from the city. then there's sayeed mirza and his city films, most of them set in bombay; arvind desai ki ajeeb dastan (1978), albert pinto ko gussa kyun aata hain (1980), saleem langre pe mat ro (1989) which are all extremely socialist films, albert pinto was set in the times of the bombay textiles strike of 1982 and literally quotes marx at one point. my point is that bombay cinema prior to liberalization was varied in its themes and representations, and it wasn't interested in being a "national cinema" very much, it was either interested in maximizing its domestic profits or being high art. note that these are all hindi language films, produced in bombay, or at least using capital from bombay. pyaasa, interestingly enough is set in calcutta, but it was filmed in bombay!

then we come to the 1990s, and i think the ur example of the bollywood film is dilwale dulhania le jayenge (1995) which, in stark contrast to the cinema that preceded it, centered two NRIs, simran and raj, who meet abroad, but epitomize their love in india, and go back to england (america?) as indians with indian culture. this begins a long saga of films originating largely in bombay that target a global audience of both indians and foreigners, in order to export an idea of india to the world. this is crucial for a rapidly neoliberalizing economy, and it coincides with the rise of the hindu right. gradually, urdu recedes from dialogue, the hindi is sankritized and cut with english, the indian family is at the center in a way that's very different for the social reform films of the 50s and 60s. dil chahta hai (2001) happens, where good little indian boys go to indian college, but their careers take them abroad. swadesh (2004) is about shah rukh khan learning that he's needed in india to solve its problems and leaves a job at NASA.

these are incidental, anecdotal illustrations of the differences in narrative for these separate eras of cinema, but let me ground it economically and say that bollywood cinema seeks investments and profits from abroad as well as acclaim and viewership from domestic audiences, in a way that the bombay cinema before it did not, despite the success of shree 420 (1955) in the soviet union; there were outliers, there always have been.

there's also a lot to say about narrative and style in bombay cinema (incredibly diverse) and bollywood cinema (very specific use of hollywood continuity, intercut with musical sequences, also drawn from hollywood). essentially, the histories, political economies, and aesthetics of these cinemas are too differentiated to consider them the same. bombay cinema is further internally differentiated, and that's a different story altogether. look, i could write a monograph on this, but that would take time, so let me add some reading material that will elucidate this without sounding quite as fragmented.

bollywood and globalization: indian popular cinema, nation, and diaspora, rini bhattacharya mehta and rajeshwari v. pandharipande (eds)

ideology of the hindi film: a historical construction, madhav prasad

the 'bollywoodization' of the indian cinema: cultural nationalism in a global arena, ashish rajadhyaksha

the globalization of bollywood: an ethnography of non-elite audiences in india, shakuntala rao

indian film, erik barnouw and s. krishnaswamy (this one's a straight history of subcontinental cinema up to the 60s, nothing to do with bollywood, it's just important because the word bollywood never comes up in it despite the heavy focus on hindi films from bombay, illustrating my point)

#does this sound insane? #probably #this has been an effortpost #phenakistoskope.txt

[haunteddollgender]

Let’s hear some noise for femme lesbians who are kind of guys

For those of us who have short hair, facial hair, body hair, who use he/him pronouns, who want to be handsome more than beautiful, who are overtly gnc, pls affirm our masculinity too.

Just as some butches find their femininity in their masculinity, some femmes find our masculinity in our femininity. And we desire it.

Like I’m a femme dyke who often dates butch dykes. And I’m also a transmasc person who often dates other transmasc ppl, those being the butch dykes. The amount of lesbians who are just kind of gay boys is rly insane. Go to a lesbian bar and i promise you a bunch of those women are twinks and bears.

And don’t make assumptions about that either, because in basically all my past relationships, I’ve been the bear

Celebrating lesbian visibility week means acknowledging transmasc/multigendered lesbians. Even if we don’t fit your idea of what a transmasc/multigendered person looks like

#edit: a lottttt of ppl reblogging this without the additions and tbh. don’t #original tags: #like I’m honestly so fr abt this #it’s very difficult sometimes to wanna be seen as a femme lesbian but also wanna be seen as somewhat a dude #like it always feels like I have to choose and split myself up into pieces. like no matter what I can’t be both even tho I am #I’m so stoned rn I probably sound insane but like I know I can’t possibly be the only one feeling this #lesbian #wlw

[yourleftpinkytoe-blog]

The sketch I mentioned in p1. Not done but idk if I will be lol. I’m tired

#neil josten #idk I felt like uploading the sketch #not finished #aftg #i picture this as him after being a menace and getting the shit beat out of him on the court #idk that’s something that probably happens a lot #when Andrew isn’t around #I’ll update when I finish it lol #if I do idk his mouth was driving me insane #all for the game #the foxes #the foxhole court #when I said his mouth I ment drawing it was hard lol #that sounded weird when I reread it #can yall tell I have a drawing kink for them in each other’s clothes lol

[brainrotisseriechicken]

scientist yuri anyone..

consuming einsla content as an enby einstein truther is a STRUGGLE so i took matters into my own hands.

old married couple core i hate them

+bonus joachim

#honkai impact 3rd #what the FUCK are their tags bro #frederica nikola tesla #lieserl albert einstein #einsla #i probably sound insane #hi3 #anti entropy #fanart #doodles #artwork #they/them einstein #welt yang #joachim nokianvirtanen #einsla n their favorite hobby; cyberbullying innocent children on the internet

[cometshift]

it's me and my extremely specific 'subspace saw zuka almost like a parental figure before zuka left blackrock' headcanon against the world

#phighting #phighting art #subspace phighting #zuka phighting #art #subspace #zuka #predisaster tag #though it's a very very baby subspace but you know #i have nothing to back this headcanon up by the way. other than the fact that i'm smart as fuck and right about everything ever #i could probably write a more in-depth post about them here on tumblr since there's not a strict character limit here unlike on twitter... #it would make me sound like an insane person. but i am an insane person in general so it's fine

[somnimagus]

did some vesperia chibis, i always forget how happy i get drawing these guys. i love them dearly

[id in alt text]

#tales of vesperia #tov #tales of #the raven chibi's kinda old though. but i wanted to draw the rest #i do feel a little bad cause i always forget patty when i draw the whole cast. have to make myself add her in #mostly because i played tov years before the definitive edition; wee lass does not feel real #though honestly all of def edition just feels like a fever dream. people who played that version first/only: #did you notice yuri gaining an almost southern(?) drawl at random. and did it drive you insane #the way he says flynn. flyeahn. it's burned into my mind #and flynn's just like. yes yuri my best friend. you have sounded like this the whole game. you are not a frankenstein of 2 voice actors #fan art #my art #sorry that was probably super off topic; i just still think about it all the time. and i think i'm a little scatterbrained recently #i've been making time to draw and think about dumb things so i don't just sit and doomscroll all day

[approximateknowledge]

increasingly frustrated that sopor slime and recuperacoons are very much not real things because like... those must be so fucking comfy. put me in the cocoon full of warm calming-slime. id sleep so well.

#im fully aware of how insane this probably sounds but im dead serious #i can't get it out of my head #homestuck #AK goes insane

[kenchann]

little red riding hood? ------- my piece for the @twsthorrorzine! it was fun being part of it! also seeing others stuff makes me wanna up my "horror" game (❤´艸｀❤)

#twisted wonderland #twst #ツイステ #ツイステッドワンダーランド #mmarts #twsthorrorzine #jack howl #wolf little red riding hood has been in my mind ever since i stumbled upon ..... was it a video lol i dont remember but #yeah wolf little red riding hood was what i was goin for #everyones pieces in the zine was chefs kissss~ makes me want to improve <3 specially on the horror stuff blood n guts n stuff #do i sound insane in the tags? i probably do- oops <(＿ ＿)> #blood #horror #mild gore #i hope i tagged that right 💦

[insomnya777]

my dads car wasn't working very well so he called the mechanics and he put it on speakerphone and i nearly had a heart attack THE GUY SOUNDED SO MUCH LIKE ETHO

#SO MUCH LIKE ETHO IT WAS ACTUALLY INSANE. #EVEN THE LAUGH #BRO I WAS FLABBERGASTED MY JAW DROPPED THE SECOND I REALIZED WHY HIS VOICE SOUNDED FAMILIAR #IM CANADIAN AS WELL #breaking news guys etho is a car mechanic #????!!!!????!?? #realistically i know it was a coincidence the phone probably distorted the voice and i was very tired and also just finished an etho vid so #BUT IMAGINE #nya talks #ethoslab #etho #hermitblr #trafficblr

[dormiloncito]

yes it was absolutely necessary and crucial to the plot, next question

#HELPPP #the way it has 0 upvotes too #if you can't handle usami yanking that thang then golden kamuy is simply not for you ✋🏼🙄 #AND ACTUALLY. other equally insane things have happened by that point 😭😭😭 #you can excuse the otter hotpot but not the jerk off battle?! 😔 #i probably sound absolutely insane to any non-gk mutual erm. move along guys 😁

[dailypearldoodles]

Day 475

I love a deranged expression :D

#daily pearl doodles #pearlescentmoon #double life smp #traffic life smp #mod morph #this sounds insane but #deranged and terrified expressions are so fun to look at #theyre so juicy with emotion #im getting more comfy with drawing with procreate #i havent done a full piece with it yet #but i probably will soon

[lollytea]

Huntlow situationship gives me such intense brain termites you don't get it

#no i dont think its because Hunter needs time to heal first #i think if it was up to Hunter they would plunge into a committed romantic relationship immediately after the events of the finale #he would propose to her in like. 3 months probably #i know that sounds intense but i think this is what ''i literally died and came back to life'' mania does to a guy #he is so carpe diem minded hes become a little insane. he wants everything #no more waiting around. no more hesitating. he cant afford to do that anymore #would it have been the wise decision to enter a romantic relationship immediately #who's to say. but Hunter would have done it without thinking about it #its Willow that makes the decision to slow down and wait a while before they make any committments theyre not ready for #i dont think she's entirely learned her lesson about letting herself be emotionally reliant every once in a while #shes made progress but the events of ftf were such heat of the moment responses #once things are semi-stable she still needs to adapt to acknowledging that her feelings for Hunter are like. serious. and scarily intense #so like. yea Willow is slamming her pedals on the breaks for both their sakes. shes thinking about how this would effect Hunter too #but also. she scawwed. #when Willow tells him she wants to talk and she's like ''i think we should just be friends'' oh the face he makes is DEVASTATED #he didnt expect it was going in this direction at all. but like. once Willow explains how this is the most reasonable decision for now #he DOES agree. he understands what shes saying and he agrees that it's the best decision to take a breather before they jump into a romance #anyway even when theyre not officially dating the flirting continues insistently. they are very obsessed with each other and cant stop #Willow keeps trying to insist to herself that its just messing around. nothing serious. they find each other hot. its fine to kiss a little #but Hunter makes it very hard when he looks at her with big brown labrador eyes. looks at her like shes the entire world #i think if it was up to Willow they would have been trapped in that uncertain limbo forever. shes too scared to take the plunge #even if she wants to. she badly wants to #but Hunter just wont let that happen. every so often he says ''im ready whenever you are'' #he makes his intentions very known. he is not the shy boy from Camila's house anymore #Willow cant just playfully flirt with him without worrying that hes gonna reciprocate. he talks now. he expresses himself #shes a little afraid of that. but she adores it too. he makes her feel safe but also he wont let her stay in this comfort zone #hes giving her the push she needs to pursue this relationship. gives her to push to feel like she can go after what she wants #because god knows HE knows what he wants #they make me so insane

[goldiipond]

BLAST IT TO THE BACK ROW!!

#skye's doodles #AAUUH SCREAMS SO LOUD I HAD FUN WITH THIS ONE. i did a lot of experimentation n fucking around i really like how it came out <3 #it would seem i am in my song lyric captions era. i am not immune to words and sounds that make me insane about the character <3 #n boy am i insane. ray ray raaay my bestest friend ray he is so goddamn cool if i think about him too long i begin audibly wailing. raaay.. #the promised neverland #tpn #yakusoku no neverland #tpn ray #fair warning ill probably rb this multiple times tomorrow becuase. its late and i am impatient and i really like this. yaaay <3

[wombywoo]

I love your art sm! It’s so refreshing and wonderful to see :D

I was just wondering that if you by any chance have any tips on how to create your backgrounds? :D

Ahh thank youu!! I did have two posts about how I do my backgrounds, here and here ✨

For further explanation: I usually have to decide what I want the theme of the piece to be, and then I go scurrying around google images trying to find exactly what I'm looking for. Most of the time, it's maps or diagrams that I then fiddle around with on photoshop until I have a layout that I like~ Sometimes I don't really know what I'm gonna put until I find a specific image. And sometimes I hate the background I've come up with, and then have to rearrange it (this happened with the latest Price piece, where I had 3 different options and then ended up combining them all into strips) Long story short--it's a lot like scrapbooking 🤭👍

#asks #if this sounds confusing and insane it's because it probably is #next time I'll try to do a step by step or something to show the process...