#and feeling like i literally just. cannot fucking speak

[scoobydoodean]

what the FUCK is wrong with sam fans . this is kind of a genuine question .

I mean for some of them it's definitely connecting your personal life experiences with the experiences of a character from a TV show to a degree that is not healthy.

Identifying with fictional characters is completely normal and intended—it's what makes certain stories stick out to us over others. Using fiction to cope with and work through ones own personal trauma is not an inherently bad thing either—it can be therapeutic and perfectly healthy. But you can take this too far and reach a point where you totally lose perspective on a story being a story and can no longer interact in fandom spaces without being harmed emotionally. This emotional harm happens because you have begun to believe that the character is actually you. Not only does this make you feel as if others speaking with authority on the character in a way that challenges your own perceptions is an invalidation of your own emotions and experience... it means you begin to receive any criticism of a fictional character as a criticism of yourself, and that is not a position you ever want to place yourself in.

Art is art. There are objective aspects to it (the medium, the colors, what it literally depicts) but what it means is subjective. Art can be personal to you, but it's also personal to everyone else who observes it and likes it. It does not exist just for you to interpret and identify with or to suit your sole sense of its meaning. You cannot impose the personal meaning you place on a piece of art on everyone else and demand they view it through your personal lens. To do so is to misunderstand the purpose of publicly shared and experienced art.

We all have moments where we find our feelings about art are so incongruous with someone else's that it isn't enjoyable to view that art side by side with them. However, if you have reached a point where you find yourself claiming that those people's perceptions of art literally cause emotional harm to you, and that the onus is on them to censor their thoughts and feelings about art to protect you, you should not be viewing that art publicly. In fact, you should really be questioning whether you have a healthy relationship with the art itself and whether you actually like it. Life is too short to spend it fixated on something that you think you like, but that is actually slowly sucking you into a pit of despair.

#mail #dont feed the stans after midnight

[imwetforyourmom]

yall we hit the big 1000 😧‼️‼️

ok, im not one for any sappy shit or anything but I genuinely dont think I’d be where I am today without any of you guys. if I werent to be writing and talking to all of my favorite people I dont think I’d be in a great place.

I fucking love knowing that I have a thousand people here for me to comfort me, to support me and to always be here for me whenever I need it. i love knowing that I have a thousand friends with me whenever.

its so comforting because I know I have all of you when im feeling down or lonely. ive had really bad social anxiety majority of my life and havent had any good luck with friends, so knowing that I have a thousand people that look forward to me doing anything and that I have a thousand friends or a thousand people who went out of their way in their day to read my stories, to like them and follow me. I love knowing that you did that out of your own will and because you genuinely like me. I like knowing that I dont have to worry about being lonely or disliked or anything along the lines of that because i know I can always come to one of you

being here today, with all of these people reminds me just how adored/liked or loved I am just because of one of my hobbies. you guys like my writing, some of you even adore it, and knowing that I didnt force any of this makes everything so much better. I wouldnt be here today, where I am, how happy I am without any of you and I fucking adore that. without you guys I dont think I’d be as productive as I am, I dont think I wouldve ever pursued my writing, I dont think I wouldve ever tried writing. so knowing that each and every one of you helped me find the thing I enjoy most is so admirable, its amazing and I cannot thank any of you enough.

to the one whos been here since the start @luverboychris, you’re one of the only reasons im still as happy as I am today, you’re one of my bestfriends and I love you so fucking much. you’re the only reason I started writing on tumblr and you’re one of my favorite people 🫶🫶

to the one whos recently become my bestfriend @lovesodakid, I wouldnt have had as many laughs without you. you’re the funniest person ive ever met and im so grateful I can speak my true opinion without you judging me

to the one whos literally my favorite nick girl @nickgetsmewetter and one of the people I look up to, you’re a reason im excited to go onto tumblr everyday

to my idols, who inspired me to write and the reason I continue writing today @luverboychris, @hysteria-things and @worldlxvlys, you guys are literally one of the reasons I write today and continue to write

again, to @worldlxvlys, anytime im upset or feeling down I always go to your stories and read them. you’re one of my favorite creators on this app

im so fuckung grateful for each and every single one of you ❤️❤️

#1000 followers #sturniolo #mollys accomplishments

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

i will never go to a concert or show or club in my life and im fucking proud of it

#if i go it will be once just to see what its like and i have a feeling i will back out after 15 minutes because fuck that noise in the most #literal sense possible. literally the noise. #i have a rule of thumb of 'if i cannot hear myself speak then it is too loud and i'm leaving' and it has never failed me

[ghostofasecretary]

it's been a while since i've cried hard enough to have a headache but. sure got there today, babes!

#ghost speaks #personal #ripped my favorite tights i've had for 5+ years and can't replace #can't return my glasses #got ptsd triggered by going past my old church because i took a wrong turn because i was. crying about not being able to return my glasses #have been crying for a solid 40 minutes straight #am still incredibly aware of how isolated and lonely i am #my parents are on vacation so i won't see a friendly face or get a hug till sunday night at the earliest #just. doing BAD #(well. there is the faint hope that the office manager will take pity on me since her office literally cannot manufacture lenses #that will meet my needs) #(but considering i spent a lot of the last hour yelling and begging out loud trying to work out a maximally sympathetic pitch) #(and also dreading 1-2 years of not having transition lenses because theirs fuck with my color vision) #(i'm not sure the hope makes things. better?) #i am gonna. make hot chocolate because it sounds like a marginal improvement over crying without that #the last time i couldn't stand up or i'd start crying harder was yesterday but boy did i not miss it #i thought i might feel better in the morning. ha. ha ha. ha #(like i know this is temporary i'm just. i just. i am so tired and SO stupidly ridiculously incredibly upset) #(like my emotional equilibrium right now is. not)

[cat-soda]

i fucking hate paradox live

#MAYBE KEI IS RIGHT #paradox live #LIKE I UNDERSTAND WHY MY OC USES THE PHANTOMETAL AND I UNDERSTAND WHY IT'S A NECESSITY FOR KEI AND 1NM8S TO USE IT #BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WTF EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING OR WHY #I FEEL SO INSANE WHY ON EARTH IS USING THE PHANTOMETAL WORTH IT #when allen's gets stolen HE LITERALLY SAYS “oh it's about the music not the visuals even if we dont have it the music will speak for itself #AND THEN HAJUN ALMOST DIES AND THEY CONTINUE USING IT ANYWAYS??????? #DUDE #anyways i'm sorry for paralive posting so much i'll shut up soon #NOTHING THE PHANTOMETAL DOES CANNOT BE ACHIEVED ALSO BY CGI OR LIKE GOOD LIGHTING #PYROTECHNICS EVEN #I'M SORRY I DON'T THINK YOU NEED A FUCKING MERRY GO ROUND DURING YOUR PERFORMANCE #AKYR YOU DON'T NEED A TIGER ON STAGE #FUCK #THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT THE MORE UPSET I AM #SHIKI'S ILLUSION IS LITERALLY LIKE CREEPY FOG. YOU CAN JUST USE A FOG MACHINE. #pl

[dykefaggotry]

every time i am around older queer people the more i am convinced i was meant to be an older queer person. not bc i have this fantasy of living in decades past that were much worse but bc i get along with and agree w them so much better. so much of modern queer discourse is painfully white, binary, and completely regressive while painting itself as revolutionary and i just want to crack jokes w some cool older butch lesbians every time i encounter discourse that makes me want to bash my head into the wall

#my professor in this one class is a lesbian in her 60s #and so many times she will say things that immediately either piss off or confuse the very lgbtqia+ alphabet mafia crowd in the class #while im sitting there like no no let her speak shes literally correct #and do not mistake me i am accepting of my lot in life as a 24 year old dyke okay i know the community i am going to be in and around #and love them all dearly and will stick up to their right to exist #but i will say. some of them annoy the living fuck out of me and we cannot have productive conversations #bc i always end up feeling like i need to take a walk to calm myself lmfaoooooo #AND ANOTHER CLARIFICATION BC WE NEED 20 CAVEATS ON TUMBLR.COM #this is not abt r//adical feminism im not talking abt transgender ppl existing as smth that annoys me abt the modern community #i just think older queer people actually have their heads screwed on and don't get as caught up in The Bullshit as we do #and i envy them for it

[dennisboobs]

ADHD and autism battling it out in my brain every single time i type anything (i post something ridiculously fucking long winded and overexplained to try and avoid being misunderstood but end up writing several hundred words that are completely incoherent in the process)

#ada speaks #every single analysis post goes through like 20 revisions at least before i post it #i have a headache tonight and i cannot be fucked to revise anything i say so you get braindumps instead #u should all be able to tell by now when im feeling like shit bc i am incapable of being concise #literal stream of consciousness this is just how i process my thoughts tumblr dot com is my fluffy pink journal

[astralazuli]

So there's that D&D class quiz going around, & I took it & was so deeply offended I got Paladin.

& so I have had conversations with both Bestie & Birdfriend about this grave insult & they both were like, "Well... They have a point?" & informed me that my desire to absorb hits meant for others & deep drive to help whenever I actually can & strong convictions make me a bit Paladin-coded.

& I am just so... Idk. It's just interesting to get glimpses of yourself from other people's POVs. To be told that my defining characteristics are protecting & healing others & being incredibly fighty about the things I care about... Especially as someone whose brain specifically fixates on whether I care enough, do enough, give enough... Yeah. It's just kinda wild.

Anyway, I'm now adjusting my self-perception to include the fact that if I were a D&D character, I would be an Oath of the Ancients Paladin & not a wizard & that actually that's okay.

#I don't Believe many things #because I prefer to stay open to new perspectives #& think that a balanced approach to life involves embracing a certain level of ambiguity in reality #but the things I do Believe in? #Oh I Believe them with all my heart. #I don't know how my belief system will change in the future #But I do know that above all else I believe in Kindness #Kindness to yourself Kindness to everyone around you Kindness to nature #The point of society is to ensure Everyone is treated well & can enjoy existence as much as possible #The point is Joy. The method is Kindness. #& if you aren't fighting for Everyone to be taken care of & respected & treated with Kindness #then I am not interested in your revolution. #If you hate the people against you more than you love the people you're fighting for? #You're missing the goddamn point. #(Please note I'm speaking of Kindness as a separate concept from Niceness.) #(Sometimes you cannot be Kind without being Not Nice to someone who is doing unkindnesses.) #(But I feel like a lot of people mistake that concept for an excuse to deny those they disagree with Kindness.) #(& my dudes you don't actually have principles if they only apply to people you like & agree with.) #There is no freedom until everyone is free includes the people you don't like. #While I am not free right now due to my various axes of oppression & the oppression others face #I'm also not gonna be free if we straight up murder & imprison the current oppressors #Trading one oppressive system for another isn't actually all that radical??? #Just 'cause you think 'the right people' are being oppressed doesn't make oppressing them okay? #Like I'm a leftist because I believe Literally Everyone should be allowed to live whatever fulfilling life they want #so long they as aren't doing a damage to someone else in order to do so. #Not because I think I think the wrong people are oppressed. #Hm now that I've written this fucking essay on ethics in my tags #I am seeing Bestie & Birdfriend's points... #Birdfriend legit said that I'm the '**smacks others while screaming** BE! KIND! TO! EACH! OTHER!' type of Paladin. #I guess they were right.

[crescentfool]

never in my life did i think i need to makeout with a piece of software so badly but here we are i guess

#lizzy speaks #OK IM BEING OVERDRAMATIC AND I WOULD ELABORATE BUT I NEED TO SLEEP BUT #DO YOU EVER JUST #FUCK !!!!!! #IVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO COME ACROSS A PIEC EOF SOFTWARE #i need to fiddle around with it some more but everything ive seen about it is MIND BLOWING to me #ive been waiting my entire life for this moment i think #i feel like it's funnier if i don't say what the software is. i wanna be mysterious so bad but i cannot shut the fuck up #literally been suffering through notetaking and organization softwares and im like ohh i think i finally found the one #this is the minecraft of sex i think its like wowza i can finally do all those writing projects i want to do #boys (me) don't want girls they want an organized database of notes that they can easily reference at anytime #sorry for being unhinged but like its like past midnight lol im sure i'll wake up in the morning and be like 'what the FUCK were you doing' #BUT!!! i think ill come back to this post to reblog it with like actual shit about the software when i figure out how i want to use it #i think everyone should experience joys in life. and sometimes that joy is having organized notes #bonus points if anyone can figure out what im talking about just from the tags alone i think this software will change my life #it has fucking tag functionality i literally love tags #sorry about the vocabulary but this rivals like. my love of spreadsheets. which are like. a wonderful thing i think but ANYWAY IM RAMBLING #anyways goodnight i wish you all on the dash a very lovely evening i just needed to share this because im so overjoyed right now o7 #if you have a software that you really like thats changed you feel free to tell me in the tags or something :) i like learning new things

[knifvd]

a little annoyed w real live friends , i'll be working on some drabbles from THIS ask meme & lurking on discord . also a funny lil ask meme HERE .

#bunny speaks ‚ ooc. #neg / #a little fucking annoying that my friends knew i had work all this weekend at least a week before hand because i couldnt get the day off #and they still came in which is fine #but it feels like theyre just using me as an airbnb rn #BAHA #one of them is meeting up with a childhood friend which is fine #i had work from 7a-4p #and they were supposed to go for lunch at 1p #they didnt eat until 3p #and they know i have work at 430 am #i sent them my schedule so they know what i have work at 430 am #and theyre like #“omg come out with us” even though they know i cant ?? #like #“come downtown” “come eat and drinks with us” I CANT #i literally have 2 be in bed at 9 pm in order to not want to k word myself for my shift tmrrw #“we want you to feel included” if u did you'd be more considerate of my schedule and what i can and cannot do #like we couldve hung out before i had 2 sleep but you guys just want 2 stay out #which is fine #but dont expect me to be able to do anything #its just annoying #no consideration + i had a shit ass day at work too ! lmao #anyways

[badolmen]

‘Stop trying to make me feel bad for billionaires!’ You do you fam I have my own principles and one of them is to recognize when something makes me think ‘hey that’s a little fucked up’ and reflect on why I feel that way. Get out of my bedroom if you don’t like the wallpaper no one’s forcing you to be here.

#ra speaks #personal #using the no reblogs for the first time because I cannot stand people today. I’ll block everyone but 3 mutuals today if I want to. #literally did not say you had to feel bad for them. just said hey kind fucked up that #people are making jokes about these people that very well could still be alive and rescued #and that there’s nothing like a near death experience to remind even the most fucked up assholes of their own humanity #sorry for thinking that ‘kill bad people/it’s funny when bad people die’ is far too subjective to be a good ethical code to live by. #but that’s your problem to wrestle with not mine.

[the-acid-pear]

I'm hitting rock bottom <- dude whose belly aches so fucking much because he ate pork.

#luly talks #on top of the other horrors I've been feeling like shit for a hot minute now #i mean i did literally have a ptsd nightmare today and woke up w a pain in my eyes that is still going #and i had to hear my dad speak shit all day long with this anxiety crawling inside of me like the last man you'd trust loves you no more #and he won't hide it you're living with the enemy and no one will extend a fucking hand #when you don't ask for help it's a thing but when you're desperately doing so and no one cares it's... #I'm genuinely so tired #and i know i had a nightmare because i went to sleep extremely anxious #I'm so fucking tired AT LEAST I DON'T WANT TO KILL MYSELF but i just cannot do anything #i dont want to kill myself but i feel myself dying #when was the last time i could. draw? i haven't enjoyed anything in so long #i keep trying to do things and my brain clouds up my whole body tenses whenever he starts moving objects in the kitchen #i cannot go on like this anymore i need fucking help desperately

[scattered-winter]

woe another tag vent session be upon ye

#one of the girls in my class looks just like her. oh my god. #like im not being dramatic i literally thought it was her in my peripheral vision. #literally almost burst into tears in the middle of the room lmaooooooo #and then for the rest of the day every time i saw someone with her hair color i just saw her. #this shit sucks fr y'all i have never almost cried in public this much #and then i had to drive to pick up some groceries and fuck. #ive never been an anxious driver. i quite enjoy driving actually. #but i literally almost had a panic attack when i first pulled onto the road. i was so fucking anxious the entire time i was behind the whee #someone came up behind me pretty fast and i legit had to pull over to calm down it was so bad #so uh. not gonna be driving for a while lol. gonna kill myself or someone else doing that. #idk. idk i think this has me pretty messed up and i probably will be for a while. idk #my roommates and i finally decorated our living room and it was . fun. we laughed and made jokes and it was fun #but well. predictably i am feeling guilty over having fun now. which sucks ass from every angle #should i probably maybe make an appointment for therapy ???? probably ??????????? #idk. might be good to talk all this out out loud yk. but also i Know i will cry and i dont want to do that. #sigh. anyway. #also predictably i cannot sleep. couldnt last night either. #i might go paint in the living room. i dont know. #anyway if u read this whole rant ily ur earning the veteran's pass to Winter's Breakdown Sessions #winter speaks #personal #grief tag #<- once again if u need to blacklist. will not hold it against anybody i prommy #tw death #tw panic attack

[musical-chick-13]

Thinking too hard about the fact that the best example I’ve ever seen of “Mentally Ill Lady is loved unconditionally-not in spite of, but because of, how fucked up she is” comes from a play that a) is over 400 years old that was written in a time where the cultural environment surrounding it wasn’t even fully past the “having OCD means you are communing with the devil” stage, and b) 90% of the people I know are only aware of because we had to read it in high school English class. Anyway, does Shakespeare know what he did by writing Lady Macbeth, DOES HE KNOW

#not that people with mental illness are Inherently Fucked Up. mine just makes me feel like I am lmao. #and it's not like a...Romanticizing Mental Illness thing either. like he's literally just 'there's something in you that speaks to me we get #each other in a way we can't recreate with anyone else'. HE CALLS HER. 'MY DEAREST PARTNER OF GREATNESS' #'TOMORROW AND TOMORROW AND TOMORROW' ONLY HAPPENS AS THE RESULT OF HER DEATH #EVEN TOWARD THE END SHE IS REFERRED TO AS HIS QUEEN #OHHHH ONE TIME I SAW A PRODUCTION OF MACBETH WHERE THE END HAD HER WAITING FOR HIM OUTSIDE THE GATES OF HELL AND THEN THEY WALKED INTOGETHER #*in together I canNOT retype that #I THINK ABOUT IT JUST. SO MUCH. ALL THE TIME. #anyway back in college just before I joined this website I made this character my entire personality and I think that might be about to #happen again. #blorbo from my shakespeare play <3 #oh she's so incredibly deeply sad and also a disaster and also tragic and cunning and eloquent and I loVE HER SO MUCH #sometimes I have to have a Media Breakdown™ about this play I'd apologize to everyone but I'm not actually sorry #SHIP: my dearest partner of greatness

[7-oh-ta1]

Thinking abt my Inquitor (Lavellan) & his friendship with Sera is really is what led me to realize why ppl who hate her are usually ppl who love Solas -- and yeah obviously I'm aware that they're opposites but specifically I think people just like what Solas is symbolic of. It's not even that he as a person is fascinating to them its just that they really like the elven lore and that's his whole shtick. Which actually sucks bec Solas as a person, not as a symbol, is interesting. And it also led me to realize that characters like Solas and occasionally Blackwall (who I LOVE btw don't misinterpret) are forgiven for their deceit with little to no repercussions whereas characters like Sera and Vivenne who are completely upfront about who they are and what they want are trashed or at least were for many years until people got bored of them. I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to say I just feel like there's a correlation. Like maybe they don't like what Vivenne is or Sera is symbolic of so immediately don't try to get to know them any further which is fine they don't have to like everyone, but makes me wonder how many ppl play these games that are crucially character based and just write off any character that doesn't lie to them for intrigue

#lindsay speaks #dragon age #idk i just don't feel like i understand that. sera is a steadfast friend who looks out for the inquistor. #SHE HOOKED MINE UP WITH A CROSSBOW ARM ATTACHMENT. <3 #but she's treated so so shittily by the fanbase because they won't even listen to her? btw on many things my inquisitor agreed to disagree #with her which resulted in minimal disapproval and they were still best friends because they both believed the most important thing in each #situation was how to protect people who cannot protect themselves? and saw the virtue in each other #not to mention the things sera says she has every right to say (maybe it's different with low approval?) and she's allowed to have #conflicted feelings about the whole world. she's not a fucking politician selling you her worldview she's your FRIEND #and she's completely upfront & truthful about her boundaries and who she is and what she does. not one lie. #but solas can literally be some 10000000+ year old man with the plan to rip the world apart by force and lied to you not just about the #obvious bigger things like his doomsday plan but even the small things like where he grew up & what his goals are. and he did it with a #smile & he only regrets it enough to say ''I'm sorry but too bad'' AND HARDLY ANYONE SHIT ON HIM?? I actually enjoy his character I'm not #saying i WANTED hate but compared to Sera being treated like a punching bag for years because she doesn't lie to you versus the reception #he got???? it just baffles me. it was so disproportionate and still is !!