#and give yourself the opportunity and permission to process them even when they're ''ugly''

[lesbianbucky]

sometimes you just gotta spend a few hours writing shitty poetry about your trauma

#this is about how sometimes you've just gotta write about your pain and hurt to get your emotions out!! #and give yourself the opportunity and permission to process them even when they're ''ugly'' #but this is also a reminder for me because #sometimes i feel like my suffering will have been for nothing if i can't make something beautiful out of it? #like what was the purpose of me going through years and years of emotional and psychological abuse from my parents #if i don't create something useful out of the hurt? #and i know that isn't a healthy mindset to have #there was no purpose of the abuse #it was the result of my moms own unresolved trauma and both my parents' wild lack of emotional intelligence and coping skills #it isn't my responsibility to make something meaningful out of that #my responsibility is to do my own healing and find my own peace #but i still get this urge to try and make something beautiful and meaningful out of my trauma as if i need to make it more palatable #or more valid or something #it's kind of interesting... i'm not quite sure where that urge actually comes from #maybe i'll bring it up to my therapist #anyway..... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #don't mind me i'm just shouting into the void again #honestly get ready because i haven't subjected you all to my unfiltered 4 am thoughts in a while #i've gotta make up for lost time #ok to rb #cw abuse ment #abuse mention #trauma #my post