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awed-frog · 6 years

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catching up with s13

“This life - hunting, monsters - there's no joy in it. There's nothing but pain, horror, and death.”

So, okay. I finally got an afternoon free and forced myself to start S13. I don’t know how I feel about it. I’m happy I had to wait and I got to watch four episodes in one go, because Supernatural has this habit of improving a lot when you watch it as a true story happening somewhere and not one hour every week, but still - mixed feelings here. Although, I’m happy enough that I sort of guessed a few things and included them in my S13 fic - maybe they weren’t that hard to anticipate, but still - yay me.

(Just as a self-serving exercise, here is a list: Dean and Sam not being on the same page about Jack, Dean shooting Jack, the two of them wondering if Jack can fly in E01, Sam wanting Jack alive and hoping he can be good, Jack being a sort of mindless parrot in the beginning and mimicking Dean, Dean snapping at Sam for putting Jody in danger, Dean starting to sound like John and Sam calling him out on it, Dean and Jody alone together - and I want to hope they had some sort of Conversation, like they did in my fic, but I wouldn’t put money on it - and, finally, the word shedim, something I was using as an insult, like, two years ago and now it’s here and I really want those things to come out and do stuff ‘cause I’m evil like that.)

Otherwise, here’s what I learned so far.

1) Dean’s acceptance of himself was closely tied to Cas’ presence

We all know how hard Dean’s had to fight against the mold he’d found himself stuck into, and we basically spend our time tracking his attempts at breaking it down, so I won’t sit here and make lists or anything; however, what these episodes confirmed, for me, is how important Cas was in this process.

And surely it’s a combination of things - that Cas knew Dean inside and out and just accepted him, that Dean feels awkward about sharing that side of himself with Sam (and let’s be honest, he’s not wrong in fearing Sam’s reaction), that as long as Cas was with them, Dean had a reason to hope his own future wouldn’t be so bleak, that it was worth it, in a way, to work on himself and become the man he wanted to be all along - and, of course, that Dean was in love with Cas, a being that wasn’t a man but looked like a man, and once Dean started to accept that (and he did), then what was the point about trying so hard to deny anything else? And now Cas is gone, all of that is also gone. Dean’s safety net burned to the ground, and so he reverts to being that person he hated and despised and never wanted to be again - the man’s man, the alcoholic, the drill sergeant, the one who thinks men should be men and women are something else, ‘cause there’s things a man wouldn’t do, like journaling (“Not since I was a little girl.”). And the tragedy is, of course, that a) this doesn’t work, because it doesn’t help Dean at all, it just makes him more miserable, and b) people can still see his real self - not Sam, because apparently he doesn’t care enough to look, but as for everyone else - yeah. Hence the angel mocking him, for instance, growling at him in a deep voice and smirking, So macho.

(And, yeah, there are other people who love Dean, I’m not arguing otherwise, but also - these last four episodes did not exactly make them shine, now, did they? From Sam’s cold shoulder to Jody completely ignoring how utterly not alright Dean was and then dismissing his advice to Patience, all the way to how Missouri talked to him (“You don’t have to like it, you just have to do it,” and since she was a clear Mary parallel, I’m going to keep not liking Mary, thank you very much) - is it really surprising Dean finds it easier to be the drunk asshole when Cas is not around? Who is currently caring enough about him to break those walls down, exactly? No one, that’s who.)

2) Sam doesn’t get Dean and shows little interest in trying

As for Sam - look, I like Sam - he’s the character that sucked me inside this story, and I always try to give him something interesting to do in my fics, but Jesus - they’re making it very hard for me to like him at the moment. In fact, I think that Sam snapping at Dean in that therapist office and walking out of her office - that was the first time I’d seen the real Sam in years. Because after S5, Sam - stopped to exist as a character? He never has any interesting roles to play, and he’s mostly there to showcase and contrast Dean’s emotions and Dean’s tough choices. And at the beginning, it made sense Sam would be wary of himself (see the whole Ruby mess), but now this good guy act is getting old, because the thing is - to me, it doesn’t read like the show is even aware that Sam’s faking it. To them, it’s what’s actually happening. Dean is volatile and hot-headed, the script goes, and Sam more rational and wants to help people and do the right thing. Except - that’s not really how it is, is it?

One of the problems is, of course, that they’re working so hard to stay away from all the gay subtext they themselves created (for no good reason, because either you do something with it or it’s queerbaiting, and we should do well to remember that) that Sam is growing into someone we have no incentive to like. Because on the one hand, Sam needs to not grieve for Cas at all so that Dean’s pain will shine through more clearly, and on the other, he needs not to bring up Lucifer at all because we know Lucifer abused him and had sex with him pretending to be Jess, and that’s another thick layer of gay (sub)text right there. So the result is that Sam comes off like a complete arse, and what frustrates me to no end is that I want to like him, and I know he’s not actually like that. Like - I’m sure I’m not the only one, come on - these first four episodes - Sam was an asshole to Dean, and an asshole in general. He completely disregarded both Cas’ death and Crowley’s death, never pushed Dean to discuss how he felt about it even though Dean spent more than a week sulking and drinking in his room and being completely miserable and isolating himself (when he drove out to meet Missouri, his hand had healed, so there’s where I get the time frame) - and that’s not only an asshole move - it’s out of character. Sam’s always been concerned about Dean drinking excessively, for instance, and we’ve seen as much n the show before. But now, suddenly, Sam’s not allowed to grieve for Cas because TPTB want us to see Dean grieving for Cas so that *wink wink, nudge nudge* we’ll guess there’s something different there. But what could that be? they want us to wonder, as if we’d be shocked and surprised by the answer, and every time I feel like -

- because that’s the other problem with this gay subtext bullshit - that it’s not worth it, because this is not the damn ‘40s anymore. It’s simply not such an interesting thing to bet your entire narrative on, and grow up, show.

And another thing: since they won’t let Sam deal with the Lucifer business, and they want to maintain the codependency because that’s apparently why half their audience is watching, Sam is stuck as the teenager to Dean’s adult. Because Dean is the one backing down and apologizing for his bad behaviour at the end of E04, and Sam - Sam just sits there and accepts the apology, without acknowledging he was kind of a dick too. Furthermore, Sam blames Dean for his own inability to bond with Mary, Sam tries to look after Jack because a) Jack reminds him of himself and b) Jack can help him (when Dean accuses him of wanting to use Jack, Sam never denies that), Sam suddenly sends other hunters to do the job because he’s otherwise occupied, and Sam - this really annoyed me - finally admits everything Dean did for him not by thanking him, or anything, but by insisting Dean should now do the same for someone else. That’s some low emotional blackmail and, again, very out of character. Because Sam must realize that being there for him basically ruined Dean’s life -

(We know that’s not true - we know that looking after baby Sam is what kept Dean soft and profoundly himself - but Sam doesn’t.)

- and if he stops and thinks about it, which he hasn’t yet, he should realize as much - that Dean risked everything, gave up everything, renounced everything - for Sam. And to casually ask him to do the same for someone they don’t even know - someone who’s also directly responsible for Cas’ death - that was really something. Plus, Sam - the champion of free will - isn’t really interested in allowing others a free choice. Even leaving aside how he behaves with Dean, what he’s doing with Jack is appalling and not that different from what Asmodeus wanted with Jack. And yeah, so Asmodeus wanted Jack to free the Shedim, and Sam tried to have him move a pencil, but the essence is the same: it’s not about allowing Jack to grow up and discover who he wants to be, but about shaping him into an instrument that can be used.

(See also: Sam not giving a damn when it was Cas stuck in his room all day, watching TV and refusing to go out - but suddenly when Jack does it it’s cause for concern and ‘he needs fresh air, Dean’, and Sam’s ‘he’s messed up because of you’, which - Jesus Christ - and ‘if there’s one thing Dean respects it’s effort’ and mostly ‘you’re starting to sound like Dad - his drill sergeant act worked with you, but it didn't work with me’ - I hope I wasn’t the only one staring at that point, because what the actual fuck? And what annoys me the most here is that, as I said, the show is not doing this on purpose, working some secret angle - this, to them, is objective reality. What Sam is doing is coded as alright - as compassionated and Good. It’s Dean who apologizes, and it’s Dean who’s told to his face ‘You upset your brother so much he had to leave the room’ and ‘he’s terrified of you’. Honestly, this is their childhood and that clown place and the Striga all over again.)

3) There are plot holes that are impossible to fix, but that’s not new

Look, it’s not even worth it to go into this, but just - if God has no power in the Empty, how did he resurrect Cas the first whatever times? And if Jack is a mindless idiot, how could he manipulate Cas and Kelly from the womb? And what about that other Nephilim? Did no one notice her existence? And the Antichrist boy? Will we ever see him again? And how come it’s suddenly safe for Jack to go on hunts with them? Isn’t everyone and their cat looking for him? And how does Lucifer need Mary, exactly? He’s not human - he doesn’t need to make a hostage negotiation - he just has to find his way back and burn Sam and Dean into the damn floor.

4) Gay subtext ruins everything

I talked about this already, but just - as usual, there was a lot of Destiel subtext, enough to keep us happy - from angels seeing right through Dean and saying it’s ‘sweet’ how he thinks Jack can bring Cas back to Dean’s control slipping (“We lost everything and now you’re going to bring him back” - and, like, whoa) and that ‘moving on’ comment, not to mention the ‘I know who you love’ line in the Empty. But, again, the problem is that they’re not going anywhere with this (if they were, they’ve had about six years’ worth of openings), which means this is damaging the story more than it is helping it (narratively, of course; financially speaking, it’s a different matter). It’s turning Sam into a complete asshole, it’s stopping him from dealing with Lucifer, and it’s making Dean into this weird person who does things without rhyme or reason. For instance - the fact he decided to burn Kelly but not Cas, not until they could find Jack - how does that say good things about him? The implication is, he didn’t give a damn about Kelly. She could die the true death, because he wasn’t interested in the possibility Jack could bring her back, but Cas - for Cas, he had to wait. And that’s something which becomes understandable, even forgivable, if Dean is in love with Cas. But if they’re just random bros - Dean never reacted like that - not when Charlie died, not when Benny died, not even when Bobby died. It’s only after Cas dies that he becomes the worst version of himself - that he drinks too much and he snaps at people and he doesn’t care what happens, as long as they get to kill something. And if Cas is - whatever - just another guy, then Dean’s behaviour is really not okay. So, you know - people have been saying it for years, but just - either stop it or make it textual. Enough is enough.

Random thoughts

I liked that the Empty functions like the Hell in Greek religion - that you wake up when you’re called, and otherwise don’t exist at all. An elegant compromise. I’m still not clear what those ‘cosmic consequences’ were. And still not happy that Death died and that was - okay? Also, how careful are they around Crowley? Will we ever know what happened between Mark and Dabb? Buttshake kid was a good kid. ‘You have an angel watching over you’ - yeah, no. That’s doublespeak, and I can do without it. Oh, and Buckleming only included an attempted rape and not an actual rape in their latest episode, so I guess there’s hope for everyone?

#spn meta #spn 13x01 #spn 13x02 #spn 13x03 #spn 13x04 #destiel #i repeat #i do not hate sam #they're writing him weird is all #also sorry if i'm repeating stuff #i've been trying to avoid spoilers #so i haven't checked other metas yet

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