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cryptidofthekeys · 2 years

Text

Wrestler...Sona...? not an oc this time

Sooo here he is, I SAID he was going to be strictly human ...Buuuut... I got a fun idea in the middle of this sooo I went with it, he’s still a human- BUT he’s got a curse of sorts :)

Also wanted and still am going to give him differences, he might be a sona but I don’t have to ENTIRELY center him around myself, that’d be no fun if I didn’t had some of his own stuff to the mix

there’ll be more to come im sure if uh I guess if anyone wants to ask any sorta questions bout him I’ll answer em lmao, i dont mind either way anyways ok im rambling, here’s the mans

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| Real Name: Chase Barron Stokes (i wanna differentiate his name from mine in a FEW ways so it's not as confusing when talking about the sona)

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| Nicknames: Ase (pronunciation: Ace), Cryptid, Barron, Barr, Aron (pronounced like Arin), Stoke

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| Gender/Sexuality: Trans FTM (He/Him) and he’s Pansexual

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| Ring Name: Cryptid of The Keys

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| Finisher/Signature: Signature is literally just a just a momentary bearhug before slamming his opponent down meanwhile his finisher is The Cryptid’s Lock and Key (it’s a submission move, gotta lock it in then unlock it when the opponent taps idk man, just roll with it fjkdljfgds)

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| Classification: Heavyweight

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| Age: N/A (doing math is hard but he is obviously an adult)

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| Height: 5’5”

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| Species/Race: Human

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| Occupation: Wrestler which is obvious of course, but also is he a heel? A face? Lmao I’m not even sure HE fuckin knows himself tbh

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| Eye Color: Gunmetal Blue

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| Hair Color: Dark Brown (His hair is a spiked quiff)

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| Skin Color: He’s v e r y pale and fat (he’s in the heavyweight class for a reason …also I uh, am also a fat person so yeah, not gonna take that away from my sona)

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| Appearance: His main attire is a light pastel purple, light pastel green, and then black jacket (it’s mashup of all colors essentially) with black metal spikes on the shoulders, he has a tank top of all the same colors as well on underneath. He also wears same colored jeans that have rips and tears all around (distressed looking jeans p much) also has some chains hanging down off of them, then he has some wrestling boots that have a mashup of all the colors, the light pastel purple, green, and then of course black- He wears a bunch of old skeleton keys around his neck along with a spiked collar that’s also a mashup of all those colors (the spikes are all black too) He wears spiked bracelets, also the same color and then just has black gauges in his ears that have the pastel green and purple swirling around each other for the design.

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Doesn’t have claws as it’d be too easy to break them but he has painted his nails to match his aesthetic, he does have some fangs though… Just little tiny ones- No tail either, he's human.

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No pointed ears, nothing- If y’all want oddly specific details well the ONE oddly specific detail is that he’s got thick ass eyebrows- other than that he’s got an extended goatee (not just a circle beard this time), got a bunch of types of keys tattooed on his arms, a lock that also has a chain that’s depicted to be breaking, and then finally on his back he’s got black feathery wings on there (the wings are spread out) they also look like a simple tattoo BUT let’s do it… Werewolf style, at night when there’s a full moon, those wings? Yeah they uh spring out from his back, they become real essentially, it’s a curse thing pretty much lmao

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Aside from that,, he’s only really got his top surgery scars n stuff like that, he hasn’t gotten any other scars but he isn’t afraid if any appear, I mean he IS a wrestler after all, it’s bound to happen eventually- He just hasn’t had any accidents so far- That’s about all appearance wise (he does take those bracelets, collar, necklace, and jacket off of course before fighting, so when he’s actually wrestling you’ll just see him in his tank top, pants, and boots p much)

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| Personality: I’m going to keep this basic as can be, he’s got no backstory sorta deal exactly- the whole thing about the wings is separate from the wrestling business- All I’ll say for that is he got cursed one night under a full moon and well his wings suddenly became more real than he ever wanted them to be… Who cursed him? … Heh, that’s… For another time- For now ahem-

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Cryptid’s pretty much a chill dude unless provoked, he goes with the flow, he seems kinda careless actually (not true, he cares, cares about… A l o t of things and people that I will not state outright) when provoked he can get pretty pissy and get more hostile and agressive, he might dress in light pastel colors but he’s not to be underestimated- while he’s not the type to go out of his way after someone, if you wrong him he WILL fuck you up- He likes to consider himself peaceful but uh mama didn’t raise no bitch- so I wouldn’t poke him too much tbh- …Or do, it could be fun-

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It’s one thing to provoke him but here’s the kicker, he gets even MORE violent and hostile if you mess with those he cares about, his friends and or those he considers family- He will NOT tolerate that, you can hurt him all you want and sure it might piss him off bc I mean who doesn’t get angry when people mess with ya? But hurting the ones he cares about is a GOOD way to actually e n r a g e him- …I said I was going to keep this basic LMAO so much for that- oh well doesn’t matter, overall the basic is he’s chill, goes with the flow, but you mess with those he cares about and he WILL fuckin go after you, even if its out of his WAY which he rarely ever goes out of.

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| Side Facts: I’m getting very tired so when he’s NOT on for a match, promo, segment, etc- You can find him hanging around, playing games on his switch, listening to music especially, watching his favorite youtubers, and or- one of the things he MOSTLY does in his spare time …aside from the youtuber watching of course- uh he writes, a LOT- Doesn’t show anyone his work (a contrast from me but I don’t want EVERYTHING to just be,, m e if that makes sense? I know he’s a sona but I want him to also be his o w n in a way too!)

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He doesn’t want any of the others seeing his work especially it seems, he keeps to himself when writing and makes sure nobody is around- Aside from that, one thing I forgot to mention he’s got his anxieties n shit like that- I mean it wouldn’t be a sona from ME if he didn’t have some kinda anxieties or trauma or anything like that- but anyways… A LOT of his anxiety stems from those wings, he h a t e s those wings- They can be painful, especially when molting- But when they spread out from his body it physically hurts him every single time.

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And not only that he’s terrified of anyone else seeing his wings, he doesn’t want ANYONE seeing them, he’s worried he’ll be made fun of but also worse, that someone is going to hurt him… Like he’s worried someone will want to rip out his feathers, or rip the wings themselves off- …I wonder why he’s afraid of such SPECIFIC scenarios… :) heh- Has to make sure he doesn’t have to wrestle during a full moon bc let me tell you, it isn’t just a matter of oh if he doesn’t see the moon then the wings won’t come out no- if the night has a full moon the wings are coming out NO MATTER if he’s seeing it or not.

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Literally marks all the dates he can down when full moons are present, you’ll notice that on his calendars n shit, will make any and EVERY excuse he can if a full moon happens, he knows by asking to reschedule for certain things can be a pain, and he knows that the boss is probs a bit suspicious of that but he just c a n ‘ t risk this, especially not in front of the others… In front of people… He tries his damndest not to reschedule at the last moment though, tries to reschedule weeks before, but ya know… He can’t keep hiding this forever… Eventually s o m e o n e will find out, or WORSE… He’ll h a v e to be booked that night and get exposed to e v e r y o n e lmao

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He does love wrestling though, he doesn’t wanna give it up, even despite how terrified he is, he REALLY loves his work, he specializes in Submission Matches which is the obvious one- But he also loves HIAC, (any sorta NO DQ/Falls Count Anywhere, can go anywhere aside from the ring matches in general, if he can break free from the ring and take the fight everywhere essentially he l o v e s it), and finally Last Man Standing matches as he has a LOT of stamina and endurance.

#wrestler sona #i gave him such a w e i r d ass color palette but i was feelin VERY strongly toward strange color palettes tonight #like something felt like it was p much calling to me essentially #...hes going to be used for selfship stuff y'all know it already as much as im like oh yeah i'll give him lore #...its going to devolve into selfshipping territory and we ALL know it #and i dont even have to say who I'll ship him with lmao #im predictable as hell <3 #my fingers were legit givin out on me a lil bit makin this dude

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sallyf4ce · 3 years

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wolves

chapter IV

-> sally face x f!reader

-> enemies? to lovers

-> previous | next

cw: drugs, cigarettes, violence, homophobia

*does not follow original plot of sally face*

summary: (y/n) and travis make up (ish), (y/n) gets hurt again (you really shouldn’t be surprised), larry gets a little moody (i don’t think he likes (y/n) very much), sal makes a move on (y/n) (although he doesn’t know he did)

“You’re (y/n), right? New kid?” Travis looks at you as you press the wet cloth to your nose. You nod.

“How’d you know?”

“Sal said it. he muttered. The disgusted look on his face was proven a facade by the blush on his cheeks.

“You’re in love, buddy.” you laugh.

“No i’m fucking not! You’re so fucking stupid, what the fuck? Who could love a faggot like Sally f-” you cut him off my shoving his head into the wall roughly. You don’t know what came over you, but being homophobic is still homophobic even if you’re in denial. You convinced yourself that it wasn’t about sally, it was just you being an ally. Way to kill the mood, travis.

“You pull that shit one more time and I'll leave you without teeth, blondie. Or would you rather i tell your dad that you hit girls?”

He squirms underneath your palm. “Sorry.” he looks at you with a pleading face.

You sigh and let him go. “S’fine. You need to learn how to control your anger, though, fuckface. You’re not gonna get anywhere with that attitude.” stuffing the bloody towel in your bag, you lead him out the door.

“I hate you.” Travis scoffs.

“What did i say?”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

“Larry, she’s already closer to travis than she is to us and they just met. Travis is a full-on dick, and they’re being all friendly! I didnt even know that was possible!” Sal chucks his bag in his locker. He hasn’t known you for long, but longer than travis! Plus he’s way nicer, too! Why’d you have to go and get all friendly with his bully?

“I don’t fucking like it either, sally face. Maybe we should just stay away from them.” Larry crossed his arms and leaned against the lockers.

Sal didn’t want to stay away from you, though. You were sweet, he was sure, just a little distant. Plus you just sort of intrigued him. He wanted to know why you were like this, what happened to you, why you had a prosthetic. Maybe it was hypocritical of him, though. He's only told Larry and Ashley about what happened to him, so he shouldn’t be picking at your trauma. you’ll tell him when you feel comfortable with it, but you’d need to be comfortable with him for that. and right now, it seems like you’re pretty comfortable with his bully.

“let’s go, dude. class starts in 5.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

After grabbing your schedule with Travis, you set your stuff in your new locker (which smelled pretty good, surprisingly.) and began walking to your first class, math. Travis laughed at you when you read your schedule outloud and you gave him a whack on the head. What an idiot. He headed off to his first class, english.

you opened the door to the classroom and coughed to get the attention of the teacher, Mrs. Packerton.

“Ah, lovely! Class, say hi to (y/n) (l/n)!” she smiles as you awkwardly wave.

“You’ll be sitting in the back, right beside Sal.” an inaudible groan leaves your cracked lips as you make your way towards him, trying not to make eye contact.

“uh, here.” he moves over. you plop yourself down next to him and open your notebook.

“we’re doing a test right now. i’m pretty sure you won’t have to do it, since it’s your first day and all.” his blue hair bounces as he looks over to you again. it looks fluffy.

“you wanna touch it?” he chuckles. you don’t want to come off creepy, but he’s offering, right?

you reach out your prosthetic hand but quickly pull it back and switch it, realizing you can’t actually feel with it. he chuckles at your mistake and leans in to your touch.

you were right. it felt like clouds, puffy but still silky. it wasn’t combed properly, though.

“Mr. Fisher and Mrs. (L/n), you little lovebirds. hands to yourselves, please.” Mrs. Packerton laughs a little. “Ah, young love.”

you quickly pull your hand back and flush.

“stupid old lady.” you mutter.

“Mrs. P’s nice, she’s just a little… enamoured in her students’ love lives.” sal laughs.

“stop, you’re making her sound like a pedophile!” you cover your mouth to suppress your laugh and sal’s face heats up even more. He made you laugh!

You both quieted down as Sal continued his test and you doodled in your sketchbook.

“are you okay? after travis, you know.” he hummed, a mix of concern and jealousy swirling in his eyes.

“uh, yeah. i’m fine.”

“You sure? Your lips look pretty busted.”

“It’s all good.”

“why do you hang out with him, anyway?” he turned his test upside down and faced you again.

“what do you mean?” you’re confused.

“he hit you in the face first thing in the morning. If i was you, i wouldn't really like him.” sal gripped his pencil.

“are you jealous?” you question, a smirk on your face.

“No.” his expression is hidden behind his mask. you look into his eyes, trying to make him blush.

the blue is a different blue than the one you saw yesterday. it’s lighter, almost like a porcelain blue.

“whatever you say, porcelain face.”

“porcelain face?”

“your mask, and your eyes, i guess. they’re like a porcelain doll’s.”

he hums.

“what are you then? metal hand? cyborg? fist of steel?”

“you forgot iron fist.”

“iron fist?”

“sure.” you grin. sal’s heart flutters again.

“Alright children, please hand in your tests and nicely file out the class. The bell will ring any moment.” Mrs. Packerton smiles sweetly and starts collecting tests. You grab your bag and leave the class.

Sal looked around the room for a bit, looking for you. A flash of (h/c) hair leaving the room catches his eyes. He tries running after you, but you’re already heading towards your next class.

•Lunch time•

“Shut the fuck up, Trav. I said she was stupid, not stupid hot. I don't know where you got hot from! I literally never said it.” You shoved his shoulder. He just snickered and continued teasing you.

“Hey, (y/n)! Come have lunch with us!” Sal saw you walking with travis. He waved you over from the cafeteria. Travis immediately stopped laughing and sneered. He quickly began walking over to sal, raising his fist.

“Leave us alone, fucking fag-” travis swung at sal but you stepped in front of them, raising your arm to cover sal’s face since he was taller.

Travis throws punches like a wrestler, You already knew that. Maybe you shouldn't have used your real hand to catch it.

His fist slammed into your forearm roughly and you flinched.

“Fuck- travis, go cool off. Now. Leave.” you hold onto your arm. It stings, but it's not broken. You’ll be fine.

“You’re all a bunch of-” he stops mid sentence as you give him a glare. It sort of said ‘you’re gay too, dumbass.’ he scrunched his eyebrows and walked off.

“Oh my fucking god!” a girl with brown hair ran over to you and lightly grabbed your arm.

“This her, sal? Are you (Y/n)?” she looked at you. She seemed very sweet. Kind of reminded you of your cousin.

“Uh- yeah- can you let go?”

She smiles in apology and lets go.

“You didn't have to do that, (y/n).” sal scratches the back of his head. You’ve gotten hurt twice because of him. How are you supposed to be friends if the only thing sal does is hurt you?

“I think maple might have an ice pack in her lunch. Can you come sit with us?” He hopes you say yes.

“Yeah, okay.” you needed the ice pack and travis was nowhere to be seen, so you didn’t really have a choice.

“Hey, (y/n).” Larry grumbles as you walk to their table. It seems he’s upset with you.

“I just saved your buddy from travis. Not to your liking or something?” you look up to him. If something’s wrong, he should just fucking say it. Not beat around the bush like a pussy.

“Yeah. you and travis seem to be getting along well.” he finally makes eye contact with you. Sal and the girl seem uncomfortable.

“We all got our issues, asshole. Some of us just know how to deal with them better than others.” You sneer. He’s allowed not to like Travis, but he’s not allowed to be a bitch to you because you actually understand his actions and choose to help him instead of ignoring him.

“Whatever.” he spits. You turn to sal.

“I’ll get my own ice.” you begin walking away. “Also, watch your dog.” you hear sal chuckle as larry groans. He walks up to you before you can leave, Larry throwing his arms up in the air in disbelief.

“Hey, uh, (y/n)? I’m sorry you got hurt. Could- could i make it up to you somehow?” his hand is on yours. It’s warm, he’s probably blushing hard under his mask.

“Sure, sally. How would you do that?” you spin around to face him. You can see his mask rise a little and his smile peaks through.

“Do you have a phone?” he pulls his cell out. It’s just a simple black flip-phone with a few paint splatters.

“I do, it’s in my locker. I dont have my number memorized, though. Stupid area codes.” you mumble. “You wanna come get it with me?”

Sal looks back to his friends. Ash is nodding frantically while Larry twirls a cigarette through his fingers, still mad.

“Alright.”

taglist: @purelydarling @deadpoetsandhoney @ghostfacefricker6969 @percyyzz @whatsurgamertag @kiillian @potatochic2003 @beingaweebishell @glitterydonutangel @izzydrawsandwrites @angellicbitch @elebeleb @dream-of-eros @mr-bombastic

#sally face x reader #ashley campbell #larry johnson #sal fisher x reader #sally face #sally face smut

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harrytheweedman · 4 years

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Season 4 episode 2

LatriWhat is up you junkie whores. Who’s ready to rumble?! Well its for sure not these queens. Before we get too ahead of ourselves lets talk about one of my favorite running gags. I love at the beginning of each episode after a girl has gone home, she is featured in the next episode holding the check for 100,000. Not only is it funny as hell, it’s super petty. Damn I love Rupaul. I wish that this fun little gag was in every season. It’s such a small thing but I think it’s very effective and so hilarious.

Before any real fun happens we see the queens fill the required screen time with what seems to be super casual and not at all produced conversations. Jiggly wipes away Alisa’s lipstick message and everyone agrees that Jiggly should have been gone instead. I can never tell if they’re joking or being genuine, but to me it really does seem like they wish Jiggly had gone home.

Lashauwn talks with Latrice about the outcome of last week. Everyone though that Lashauwn was going to win last weeks challenge but she agrees that she didnt win because she’s too quiet. Duh she’s too quiet. Nobody likes a quiet drag week damnit.

Moving to the mini challenge, it is once again something ridiculous. The girls have to make pads, get into quick drag, then strut their stuff through the workroom. As expected, most of the girls look like shit and some think they’re funnier than they actually are. Madame LaQueer can’t even seem to get her damn pants up. Jiggly splits her pants right up the crack. Fun fact tho: This challenge was responsible for giving us the iconic Willam look that become sort of her symbol.

Phi Phi, Willam and Chad had the juiciest booties they win the challenge and become team captains. I was not surprised that Latrice was picked first. Like she said, shes a big bitch so who’s gonna out wrestle her. I was not surprised that Madame LaQueer was chosen last and I sure as hell was not surprised when she said that she was not athletic. Bitch no one is surprised. Your pants fell down and you were sweaty from walking. Girl bye

Anyways, the teams were as followed: Phi Phi, Lashauwn, Latrice and Kenya; Willam, Jiggly, the Princess, and Dida; Chad, Sharon, LaQueer, and Milan. On each team there are a pair of “good” guys vs. a pair of “bad” guys. Each pair has really stupid names so I shan't be getting into those. Google if you're curious.

After that they get into their teams and practice for the big matches. During practice Madame LaQueer hurts her ankle, insert eyeroll, and that makes Team Chad very nervous. Lashauwn is nervous because she’s quiet and wresting is not for quiet people. The Princess is also quiet but her main problem is that Jiggly is crude and obscene. So basically, each team has one weak link so that no team has any advantages.

Each wrestling match starts out with one pair of wrestlers (queens) in their dressing room and then the pair they’re facing off against with flexes on them and talks shit then they take it to the ring. Overall it’s a pretty dumb challenge. Professional wrestling isn’t fun to watch so seeing a bunch f drag queens flounder and act poorly through a wrestling match inst a good time. All three teams do, at least in my opinion, a piss poor job. You can see how fake it is and the outfits are super cheap looking. Nothing really stood out for me in this challenge except fro Lashauwn’s terrible acting and Jiggly’s potty mouth.

Once the wresting is over it’s time for the runway. As they’re getting ready the queens take this time to talk shit about their performances. Jiggly is worried about the Princess because the Princess wasn’t as obnoxious as her. I don’t consider that a bad thing.

The theme of the runway is Girly Girl Couture. I don’t understand how or why the runway themes are chosen are but they make no sense. Like what does girl girls have to do with wrestling? I don’t know but Rupaul thinks they hold hands.

Team Chad wins the challenge for some reason with the overall winners being Chad and LaQueer. If I had to guess why they won, it would be because they had the most fleshed out characters and they really stayed in character. Chad and LaQueer were the most committed bad guys and as a team all four were probably the strongest. LaQueer thinks that this means the other girls will regret picking her last. Think again sis.The queens exit the stage and the real judging starts.

First up is Willam. All the judges thought that Willam’s acting sucks, which is so hilarious to me considering she considers herself to be an actress. She’s always boasting about it being her day job, but she can’t act for shit. The judges didn’t even talk about her runway look, so I’ll take care of that. It’s trash. She looks like a cheap whore that wondered into the the studio lot. Her shorts are so short that I can see her fucking taint. To me, Willam is not a star.

Dida Ritza is next and as expected, her wig is dehydrated. I don’t know why she keeps wearing cheap ass blonde wigs. Put some effort in girl. The judges said that she would be better as the pretty ring girl that hold up the sign and I disagree. She couldn’t do that either.

The Princess is next and her look gets mixed reviewed. The judge liked the dress but hated the hair. I hated both. We’ve seen what she’s capable of and this look was a bit of a let down. The dress makes her look short and fat and the hair looks like a big comb over. He moves in the ring were also not favored. The Princess said that she was a very zen person and was really trying. Well apparently she didn’t try hard enough and goes to the bottom. The Princess did not earn the respect that she deserved. The judges and Jiggly did her dirty.

Jiggly is next and her outfit is awful. I hate that she never seem to have a silhouette or a concept. The most interesting thing was the lollipop she had, but you'll soon find that Jiggly always has food on her person and it’s less interesting the more you realize that. Jiggly threw the Princess under the bus for being too quiet and the judges felt that Jiggly was carrying the pair. I disagree. I feel like Jiggly was just obnoxious and annoying and instead of working together she just bulldozed over the Princess. Nobody likes a bully Jiggly.

Phi Phi is next. The judges hate her look because she looked old. Her runway didn’t give me girly, it gave me more single mom of three realness, but it wasn’t bad. The look wasn’t terrible but it for sure didn’t match the theme. The judges, especially Michelle, really liked her in the maxi challenge. Phi Phi was pretty funny in the ring. She plays dumb bitch pretty well. If the rest of her team had been better she probably would have won.

Lashauwn is next. I loved her runway look. I thought it was so cute and creative. It was nice to see something that wasn’t basic on the runway. Most of the judges liked the look but one of the guests judges hated it. I don’t remember his name so he isn’t important or relevant. I agree with the judges about her performance. You could see that she out of her element and not really trying in the ring. Her lack of confidence is what lands her in the bottom two.

Kenya Michales is next. I found her runway look to be cute but the judges went bananas over it. They said that she looked like Lil Kim or Niki Minaj which I get. They loved her performance in the ring. I liked her energy but if Latrice wasn’t her partner I dont think it would have been as good. They fed off each others energy and were good together. Separately not so much. That one guest judge who I hate said that she’s the one to beat. Which is so not true. If she was the one to beat she would've won this challenge or even the one from the week before but she did not. Kenya is pretty, but I don’t see any talent.

And finally we come to Latrice. Her runway look is my least favorite of the episode. It is so basic and so pedestrian. I think it is ugly and it does not give me girl, but old white lady that Latrice stole this outfit from. The judges didn’t even commit on this monstrosity of a look and honestly, they should be ashamed. The judges loved her performance in the ring because she was throwing Kenya around. So like I said for Kenya, they were good together but as individuals they aren’t as strong.

So once again the queens retreat to the untucked lounge and the judges talk shit and say things we already heard, but this time meaner.

It pisses me off that the Princess is in the bottom two but her partner isn’t. So instead she faces off against Lashauwn, which is probably a good thing since they both sucked in the lip sync. Both of them gave a pretty lackluster performance. Not that the song they chose was super upbeat or fun. I find Bad Girls by the Donna Summers to be a little boring myself but hey, its not my show. For some reason Lashauwn thought it would be cute to do the whole thing without shoes. Don’t ever take your shoes or your wig off during a lip sync. You will go home. So its not shocking that the Princess stayed and Lashawun sashayed away. The Princess wasn’t much better, but she kept her shoes on.

So that’s it for this episode kids. Tune in next week for commercials and RuPaul forcing his music on us

#drag race #drag race season 4 #rpdr s4 #sharon needles #kenya michaels #latrice royale #willam #phi #the princess #jiggly caliente #alisa summers #lashauwn beyond #madame laqueer #chad michaels #milan #dida ritz

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kattimariias · 5 years

Text

the cookie run movie trailer

*logos, rap music playing*

white protag played by an actor who doesnt want to be here: hi im sam. im your average guy, doing average things, and i like.......baking

*insert quickly edited montage of him baking here*

yeah i know it’s embarassing!! my family thinks so

sam’s generic jerk dad whos gonna have a change of heart at the end and u know it: sam i know theres more you can do than this softy bakey stuff, why don’t you become a wrestler like meee???

sam: *groans*

sam: they just dont understand me!

*rap music stops playing and it cuts to dark*

sam: there are those who get me though, and they’re not what you’d expect...

*sam stops baking and goes to sleep, quick shots of kitchen are shown before gingerbrave rises up*

gingerbrave, voiced by adam sandler: i gotta save everyone and get outta here!!!!

*comedic hijinks ensue as obscure pop music plays*

*sam wakes up to see all of the commotion, then sees a bunch of cookies in his kitchen. he stands there shocked as music cuts out*

bright cookie, voiced by resse witherspoon: uhh...hi?

sam: *loudly screams*

all of the cookies: *screams*

*some pop/rock song plays as sam basically interviews all cookies on the counter at once*

sam: so you guys can walk and talk???

gingerbrave: yes

sam: but how????

bright cookie: we aren’t normal cookies! we’re like, magical and have various abilities that help us

*insert some footage of the cookies doing random shit here*

sam: ok, this is weird. but i can manage

*cut to car, then to sam’s house*

sam: ok imma need you guys to keep a low profile for me, ok? i have this really important date with (insert forced love interest name here) and i cant mess it up!

cotton candy cookie, voiced by jenny slate: why, of course!

sam: *leaves house, music cuts off again*

cotton candy cookie: but i think i got OTHER plans!

*everyone looks weirded out*

*cut to a completely different scene and context but with a line that works*

dj cookie, voiced by kristen stewart: you’re like...tootally in spaace bruh

*pop music while the cookies fuck up the date alongside some other random shit*

THESE COOKIES

*more random stuff*

ARE GONNA NEED

*dance party ending footage, someone twerks*

dj cookie: THIS SLAPS

TO RUN HOME

*spoilery scenes*

*celebrity names*

sam: *walks into house and sees a huge party* DJ!!!

*everyone else scatters while dj cookie stares*

dj cookie: lol wut

COOKIE RUN

pink choco cookie, voiced by arianda grande: wanna selfie?????

sam: no-

pink choco cookie: *does it anyways* i have SAVED the both of us!!!

sam: *blinks*

COMING SOON

*some other credits that go by quickly*

#cookie run #shitpost tag #i join this fandom and bring yall cursed shit

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shitloadsofwrestling · 7 years

Photo

I came across a VERY cool find: a photo tour of the WWE warehouse! The photos above were taken inside the warehouse which holds billions of dollars’ worth of memorabilia, including rings, props, cages, caskets, you name it! There are more photos from the tour here. Definitely worth checking out! Here’s the write-up from the tour:

Back in March WWE and Charity Buzz ran a bunch of Superstars for Kids Auctions which had different Meet and Greet Opportunities. One that really caught my eye was a Tour of the WWE Warehouse and it would be hosted by Howard Finkel and WWE Warehouse Archivist Ben Brown. I wound up winning this auction. Dont ask me how much!!! lol. Although myself and cousin split it. Also it did all go to charity. I arrived at WWE Headquarters at 9:40 for the scheduled 10am Meet time. Right from when you get off the exit for WWE HQ you can see the building with the WWE Flag at the top. Its such a cool sight! They had us park in the visitors section of the garage. When we entered the hallway from the garage there were various WWE photos of superstars and events lining the walls on the way to the lobby. I asked to use the rest room. I had to take the elevator to the second floor. Inside the elevator they have WWE Programming playing on a small LED screen above the door! Really cool. Once off the elevator, like the previous hallways this one was also lined with different event and superstar photos. Just really cool. In the lobby they have the life size statues of Andre the Giant and Bruno Sammartino they had on display from the past two Wrestlemanias. They also have a giant size poster of the upcoming PPV for the month. So its currently a Payback poster. First our escort from WWE came down and introduced herself. Shortly after Howard Finkel and WWE Warehouse Archivist Ben Brown came down and said hello. Howard Finkel remembered me from past conventions and last years Wrestlemania Axxess VIP Backstage Tour. After we said our hellos, we all got into a waiting SUV which took us to the WWE Warehouse! From the outside you would never guess this was the WWE Warehouse. It has no markings at all indicating WWE. Inside the warehouse is huge. Aisles and Aisles of three tiered shelves with nothing but WWE Equipment and Memorabilia. The first section had a bunch of unconstructed rings. The wood for the rings, the ring posts, ropes, ring steps etc. Also in this section was the Punjabi Prison set which was cool to see in person. The next section had one item I hoped would be there. An actual WWE Ring!!! Ben Brown said they use the ring for training sometimes when wrestlers are in the area. So I asked to make sure if it was ok to get in the ring to take a picture, and they said it was ok. Now I have been inside Indy rings which was cool, but this was an ACTUAL WWE RING. Such a cool moment. i have to say to, the mat was alot harder with alot less give than I thought there would be. The next section over had alot of cool random stuff. Some of the cool highlights were the original King of the Ring Chair used on TV, the old Wrestlefest Arcade Game, random promo posters, an old Saturday Nights Main Event Entrance Sign and even an Arena used sign from the FINAL WCW PPV. Greed. Next they had the last remaining piece of the old school blue steel cage, an unconstructed hell in a cell cage, an old original WCW logo sign and the giant fist which used to be part of the Smackdown Set on TV. Ben Brown said the thing weighs 6,000 pounds. They also had a pile of event used barbed wire baseball bats, sledgehammers and other weapons. Back in 2009 at the Bragging Rights PPV they had RAW vs Smackdown and the winner got a Trophy Cup. That was there also. One of the coolest pieces to me was the Original Tumbler used at the early Royal Rumble PPVs which wrestlers would draw their numbers out of. Another section had all the old caskets used in Undertakers various caseket matches. A few that stood out were an oversized casket used for Big Show, the big black coffin used at the 98 Royal Rumble for Undertakers match vs Shawn Michaels. The one Kane lit on fire at the end. It was all burned and still had the holes Kane put in it with an ax. Another was the one used for Mark Henry at Wrestlemania 22. The lady from WWE who was our escort took a photo of all of us by it and tweeted it from the Official WWE Twitter account. They also had the 2 coffins used in the background during the funeral parlor skits from the early 90s. Another Undertaker piece was the the big Undertaker logo that was set on fire on Raw back around 1998. Probably the coolest piece there was the actual ring used in Madison Square Garden for Wrestlemania 1. It was not setup, but you could see all the pieces. The final couple sections had more random props or event used memorabilia. Slammy Awards, Saturday Nights Main Event Neon Sign. HBK Ring Worn Entrance Gear. L.O.D. Shoulder pads. Damien Sandows MITB Briefcase, Brutus Beefacke Clippers, Andre the Giants and Buddy Rogers boots. Old Womans title from the 50s. John Cenas original US Spinner Title. They even had the actual "contracts" used on WWE TV at contract signings. Two that stood out for me where the Triple H vs Brock Lesnar for Summerslam a few years back and also the Hulk Hogan vs Vince McMahon for Wrestlemania 19 which Hogan made Vince sign in his own blood by busting him open. The contract still had Vinces dried blood on it from 11 years ago!! I saw so much stuff in the warehouse, yet there were still TONS of boxes unopened that contained even more memorabilia. Some boxes even the Archivist Ben Brown admitted he had not even got around to opening yet. You could spend days upon days in this place. Any true old school WWF fan would LOVE this place. At the end of the tour Ben Brown gave me an actual event used RAW Ring Skirt which is really cool. After the tour we went to lunch at a BBQ place called Dinosaur BBQ. I never heard of it before, but it was really good food. After lunch Howard Finkel and Ben Brown said they had one more place they wanted to take us. They brought us to the WWE TV Studios where their HUGE video vault is. The vault room alone was worth the visit. Row after row of shelves from floor to ceiling of ALL the WWE,WCW, AWA, Memphis etc. wrestling tapes. I even saw a shelf with TNA & ROH logos. It was crazy to think that pretty much almost every piece of wrestling footage ever was stored in that room!! The guy who showed us around the TV Studio was George from the duo "George & Adam" from the mid 90s. They played WWF Superfans and did small skits which aired during WWE TV then. After the TV Studio they took as back to WWE HQ where we then parted ways and started the drive home. I have to say this was an AWESOME Experience. Seeing all those props, sets and pieces of memorabilia brought back so many memories. Definitely worth it to me.

One thing I left out from the TV Studio was one of the areas they showed us was where Lord Alfred Hayes, Sean Mooney or Mene Gene would do the Updates segment from the control center with the tvs in the background. They still have that room just with updated screens. Also the area Todd Pettengill used to do WWF Mania from. That area is still there also.

Also, I got a kick out of this. Read the “contract” from the 2012 SummerSlam match between Triple H and Brock Lesnar:

#wwe #wwf #ecw #wcw #pro wrestling #wwe warehouse

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nyctarian · 1 year

Text

Seen a few people in the tags of the kenny supporting trans rights post seeming genuinely (happily) surprised that a wrestler like kenny would support them/their loved ones. I dont blame them for perhaps being unfamiliar with him and his history of being outspoken in his support of queer rights, (even ignoring him being bisexual and everything about the golden lovers narrative), and his condemnation of the history of homophobia and transphobia in wrestling, but it does highlight why (in addition to everything else that was shitty about it) i was so annoyed with the "he's just queerbaiting"/"the bucks are secret bigots" shit people tried to claim post brawl. That type of stuff is unfair to them absolutely, but its unfair to the people for whom the outspoken acceptance from people they look up to can be hugely impactful. Like, with the bucks having spent the beginning of their career trying very hard as teens to help one of the first out wrestlers w kanyon, including staying on the phone with him for hours to help him not k*ll himself, and then everything theyve done w kenny over the years and the way they have an in ring nature and storytelling tendencies that are clearly fine with going against cisheteromasculine norms of society. Matt literally helped design the shoe they did for pride and if there's one thing the bucks take seriously its shoes.

It's just, i think, very shitty to lie about some people you dont know in a way that makes people who may be fans, and for whom that acceptance could mean a lot, to be led to believe more people hate them in the world then they actually do. There is a reason the company that they helped start is one where a trans bi/pan black indigenous woman has already been a champ, another bisexual woman has been a champ, kenny a bi man has been a champ, and one half of the tag champs right now is a black gay man.

#personal #i dont think i worded this well #but seeing people being shocked that wrestlers they care about would #like respect their humanity #on here and on twitter to where ive seen the photo reposted a bunch as well #like it genuinely sucks that bc of what happened #people went to that classic well of smearing them w no proof #w like negative proof bc of proof in the opposite to what they claim #while at the same time repeating all the 'twinkletoes' shit sourced from a genuine bigot like 🌽#i just think its really shitty for three wrestlers who-even w two of them being married to women-have a legacy in the industry inherently #tied to queerness #my computer was too shitty unreliable for me to do a lot of effort but i did start a tagging thing w just the #bare minimum of what ive rb'd of them being exactly as they are about queer stuff #idk it was shitty seeing people do that 'i bet the bucks would call me slurs' shit to defend a guy who has literslly called people slurs #even tho he did clearly change his attitude later in life to be less shitty #esp when there are def people who never questioned kenny being bi until the minute they needed something to smear him with

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