#and i’m sorry smth like this happened

[seakicker]

If it’s not already, can you keep me anonymous?

Ms. Juju can I ask a really random question..how are you brave enough to ask for a commission of you and your favorite? I had only gotten one commission of something similar once and I loved it! I still do! I really adore the art style of the artist I got it from but when I look at it I feel awful in a way 😭? This happened a long time ago (like in 2018ish?) but I think about it a lot. The artist I got it from had/has? (Idr I unfollowed it) a spam account and they were talking about their commission orders once and they mentioned that someone requested to be drawn with a character. They were basically said that commissioner wouldn’t be their type or wouldn’t find them attractive or something. At first I didn’t think it was about me, but I was still like ??? Cause that’s so rude to say but said artist does this thing where after they’re done with their commissions they kinda up load them all and after seeing the set of commissions they did, I could 100% confirm that they were talking about me lol. I didn’t say anything about it, but after that I’ve been so scared to commission another artist, especially relating me with another character. I felt bad for even bothering them to commission me to begin with! I still like the art piece but when I see it I think of that comment, and it really stuck with me and even made me view the character differently. I couldn’t enjoy x readers in general after that because I felt so guilty about it. Like I know that’s so dumb because it’s just characters and with reader inserts you don’t have to necessarily insert yourself into them but that’s usually the point yk? I ended up making a whole different persona that looks absolutely nothing like me over a dumb comment but that really made me feel awful and I guess in a way it still does, since I’ve always had low self esteem to begin with and used reader inserts to feel better about myself.

I’m so sorry for making this so long but TLDR the first ever commission I ever got from an artist I really liked basically called me ugly on their spam / vent account and me being a big ass baby can’t get over it fully to go back to enjoying one of my favorite pass time hobbies which is reading reader inserts

so i’ve been thinking about this ask a lot since i first got it a couple of hours ago, and firstly i just wanted to say that i’m very sorry to hear something like this happened to you and that it has stuck with you for so long; i have faith that you’ll be able to recover some day and learn to become happier and more comfortable with yourself because i believe you’re strong enough to do so. putting the rest under a cut for length bc i typed tons omg

i’m sorry someone you trusted to handle your commission and admired as an artist would say something so unprofessional, rude, and unnecessary to you like that. you were a customer seeking out a business transaction and that shouldn’t invite them to comment on you as a person when (i’m assuming) they knew literally nothing about you other than what you chose to share w them for the sake of the commission. it’s ridiculous of them to make things personal instead of just being kind and thanking you for the support, drawing what you paid for, and carrying on w their lives and clearly they’re an insecure person if they can’t make a drawing of someone else without commenting on their appearance in the process. very weird of them and i don’t think that their insecurity and childishness is your fault whatsoever, nor should you feel like their words are true because they’re just not. there’s nothing you could have said or done to warrant them bashing your appearance and targeting something as personal as your attachment to your favorite character since ofc we all use favorite characters as a form of coping here.

i also had a persona i used for self-inserts that looked literally nothing like me (she was much thinner and much shorter lol) and i had begun to realize that… it just wasn’t fun to live through her because it wasn’t me and i felt like i was playing some character rather than being myself. of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with character x oc content, but she wasn’t an oc, just a Conventionally Attractive version of myself and so i just want you to know you don’t have to be conventionally attractive to be valuable and beautiful and that your fave—and everyone else including your irl friends and such— loves you just as you are and i do too. i’ve always used writing reader insert content as a form of coping and connecting w myself and becoming more confident in myself, and i would love to see you be able to use reader insert content to do the same again someday. i’m sorry to hear that that experience ruined such content for you though i can certainly see why— but just know that person’s inability to get over themselves and keep their unnecessary opinions to themselves is not a reflection of your character, it is a reflection of theirs. one thing that always helped me overcome similar fears of “oh my fave wouldn’t like me” i used to have as a teenager was actively seeking out content with my personality/body type in mind. things like “chubby reader” or “shy reader” etc, when people characterize reader a certain way, so maybe you could try that as well if you’d think it help you too. thank you for sharing your experience with me and know that i’m here for you, and i think a selfish part of me hopes that you can maybe find safety in me and my work too because that’s always what i’ve wanted for everyone who reads my stuff. take care of yourself and know that we here all love you and your faves love you lots 🙏🙏🙏

#i hope this wasn’t too preachy or anything i just really empathize w you #and i’m sorry smth like this happened #chats #tw insecurity

[xoxoalette]

when is the game coming out

Not for a very long time 😭 when I finished diva’s day 0, renpy killed itself and corrupted all my files so I lost motivation for a long time

But I’ve been tryna pick it back up but life is v busy and I’ve been unable to find the time to commit. I’ve already restarted a bit of the dialogue, and the background and sprites for diva are thankfully still saved

#right now hot killer babes is just an oc blog 😞‼️ sorry everyone #it’s like everytime I’m ready to pick it back up #smth gotta happen

[fleur-dans-la-nuit]

I started sketching miles (like actually good, not like whatever abomination this is) and I ended up with this instead- 😭😭😭

Hopefully someone will love these miles morales’

#wtaf even is this- #I’m so sorry for whoever sees this #juice drinking miles was made for my twin because they drank a crap ton of juice boxes and still wanted more #this is proof I am in fact not okay- #atsv #spider man: across the spider verse #across the spider verse fanart #across the spiderverse #miles morales #meows morales #there was a masked miles that had rabies or smth but I removed it because it was weird af #like weirder than these #idek how this shit happened #i should be sleeping #but i’m not #instead I’m making the world suffer with me mwah hahaha

[starheirxero]

HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW TSAMS EPISODE YET?!!!

Bloodmoon might be coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LITERALLY JUST WOKE UP AND THIS ASK SENT ME FLYING ACROSS THE ROOM OMG. WATCHED IT AND HOLY SHIT. I’M LIKE ?!?!!!!! IM GENUINELY SURPRISED HE’S COMING BACK ???? I WAS SO SURE BLOODMOON WAS GUNNA STAY DEAD THIS IS FASCINATING. ESPECIALLY RUIN’S IMPLICATION OF ALTERING THEM ???? WHAT IS HE GUNNA DO 2 THE BOYS……. IM VERY INTRIGUED

#asks #crack-a-lackin-max #honestly tho i rlly can’t stress how much i thought bloodmoon was going to Stay Dead????? #Like don’t get me wrong i am honestly terribly excited because i miss bloodmoon a LOAHT and if they return that means I can pick apart- #-their character more!!! #however to Me this is so out of left field that i’m also just like HUH AHDISNKDLC #i wonder if ruin is going 2 put bloodmoon thru the horrors tho…… #modify them 2 make them obedient is what ruin said. that is smth they have Never wanted to be and I can imagine that will be Maddening if- #-it works. but also like. this isn’t exactly a revival like it is with Lunar. Bloodmoon /died/ died. No nanobots left #A second version of being built. A new version is being built. It’s likely that the new Bloodmoon won’t have any memories #So can you imagine waking up with an insatiable urge to maim and kill and the one person you want to do it to has a failsafe to make sure- #-that you can’t do that and everyone around you seems to know you already and has a deep fear of hatred towards you? #wouldn’t that be more frustrating and confusing than the ever-present hunger? Wouldn’t that drive them a little insane? #sorry this probably won’t happen but could u imagine AHAHBSJABS #sun and moon show spoilers #tsams #bloodmoon #xero thoughts and rambles #bc of my tags LMAO

[chlorinewaterdrinker]

Pizza pizza

#this is my second time trying to post this cuz the quality was crap #if it happens again I’m not gonna try and fix it 😭😭 #fnaf au where it’s more like cec/rae #I based these off the rae/battington designs bc they’re just better than the canon looks for them sorry #Freddy is like a mix of fatz geronimo and teddy ruxpin #chica is obviously the chef/baker of the group and I wanted to make her bob into an apron instead but I didn’t feel like doing full bodies #for like any of these #foxy is iconic so I didn’t change his design much but I incorporated aspects from different designs-like the beard from squimpus #face from battington and added khol under his eyes bc it felt appropriate #and I added fetch from the books to the main gang bc idk it felt like smth needed to be there and the dog is cute #he’s at the prize counter and gives out prizes and Guards against theft and he’s just a little baby #can’t decide if i want to keep the name fetch or use sparky instead bc sparky was iconic AND ALSO IN THE FUCKING MOVIE???? HELLO??? #this is from my sketchbook so it doesn’t look great and I’ll get around to doing full bodies eventually #im kinda scared to tag this as fnaf #rubensdoodads #okay back to the cec/rae grind #Bonnie is a failed magician and does skits like Rolfe/Klunk does my bad #fnaf

[plinkcat-gif]

when i voice my discomfort brought on by something related to my neurodivergency (overstimulation, headache brought on by specific thing) or my allergies i need everyone to understand that it’s either relatable or funny

#i’m so sick of one of my friends being like ‘oooh i’m so sorry man :(‘ like idk me too. but i live with it every day idc anymore #like i am very self aware. i know what’s happening to me and why and i don’t need pity for it i need to make light of it #it’s just like ok. how do i even respond to that #i think i would appreciate more like ’ouch dude. smth similar happens to me when’ or like #‘damn that sucks. that’s so fucking funny that your body does that tho lol’ #this person is also like a huge people pleaser tho lol. a lot of their behaviors irk me #like we’re still besties it won’t change that and i have voiced my frustrations with them but they’re not bad enough to impact our rship at #all lol #OK. that’s all

[spideyhexx]

I feel like the Plinths would ultimately be okay after his rise to power, but mostly cause he had the setup for becoming a gamemaker through Gaul's internship. If Coryo came back from twelve and went through college and was setup to inherit the Plinth's munition business, he'd get rid of the Plinths, but since he was going the politics route instead of the business route and they were already supporting, funding, and endorsing him, they'd be okay. (Unless people commented on him being taken care of by District borns cause of Capital bias, then he'd distance himself in the same way he distanced from Tigris, but I don't think he'd harm them at all.)

-🐭

yeah I agree! I don’t think he harmed them in any way, I think at most he just distanced/cut off with them once he was successful enough on his own because in the end he was using them, so ofc he’d be done with them once he’s gotten to a better place.

#asks #🐭 anon #I would really love to see smth with his rise in power like university/intern with Gaul to game maker to whatever else he had #position wise until President #it def isn’t smth needed for Suzanne to write imo like I’m sure there could be a really good reason to write that but I doubt she will #would still love to see it tho especially the university/intern with gaul stuff because that would be like #the newly changed coryo at the helm while he’s still a young man and I think that would be super interesting to explore #also his stuff with the plinths ofc because he def harbors some guilt that he probably pushes down so much #on another note fnsndns thinking about older snow and how he had these things happen to him over the span of a few months is crazy #like it’s just so sad and I wanna know if older snow was thinking of sejanus or Lucy gray at all (I think yes in some cases but he probably #pushed that shit down so much) #FUCK SORRY FOR LONG TAGS BUT LIKE THINKING OF HOW CORYO TURNED JNTI PRESIDENT SNOW IS JUST SO INSANE AND SAD IN MY MIND NOW #he also practically won in the end #he lived for so long and did so much that he wanted

[muted5ilence]

Me when Eddie Dear Update

But fren pointed out the low low prices for Poppy merch and such things

So Eddie is being actively haunted

And Poppy is just a very very worried character

/lh

But someone saying Eddie might get removed — he died /hj

Poppy is being quietly removed /j

My main notice is that the project actively reflects what we as a fandom (sorta, maybe) have been thinking of

We got characterization actively via the 14 clips and such

And it was “Eddie is being bullied </3” and “Poppy deserves more love” (bc most ppl favor the rest of the cast). Plus we get Sally and Frank fighting, which is funny as a Sally hater (I have mad respect for Frank for that lmao)

So reflecting those things in the COMMUNITY, we get a mostly Eddie-centric update. Confirming that he is in fact left out a LOT, that he is in fact an isolated lil guy (the isolation stuff). Poppy is *quietly* left out of stuff (me when fren said it could be like the birds migrating thing but instead she stays indoors—which tbh she already isolates herself in her home anyways). And Sally is actively being fought (a massive DUB for the Sally haters 😂)

Also I miss my boyyyy, I miss Wally 🥺 They really said “No sir” and locked him up and shit, not allowed to chat on main anymore 😔 Tbf, he did make a mess. But like c’mon, let pookie SPEAK!! Punished for being autistic /j

Anyways I think about the person who made those notebook entries “my name doesn’t matter”

ALSO OML SO MANY Ws ARE USED ACTUALLY (in reference to different things)

Wally, WaLLy, Welcome Home, WHRP, (thats it actually that I can think of)

So when the sign off is •W, I’m gonna think of what little we get

Also note, remember those questions startin’ w/ W, fellas

Who what when where why

And AAAAAAA my brain is making minor connections to things that don’t matter bc ITS SILLYYYY!!! SIlly Silly <3

Anyways yeah I miss pookie and I hope he and/or others will make codes with the new cryptography stuff we gettin’ (cipher)

I always loved those pages in activity books anyways, because looking at a key for reference and translating letters is so fun (despite the tedious back and forth if you dont have it memorized)

#maki mayhem #welcome home spoilers #what if I start making random shit and encoding and decoding them with the cereal cipher? #I could probably learn so much faster what letters match what symbols lol #ALSO WHAT IS THAT ONE SYMBOL SUPPOSED TO BE!? It’s like. I? it’s early ish in the alphabet #I would say it looks like a stocking but that’s already taken; idk what it is mans #me when I felt so much pride in the ‘nodelete’ on the secret pages before😔 THEN THEY MOVED #Which is smth that happened with Wally on the portfolio site. One image was named ‘You Moved Me’ or smth close to that #Was that foreshadowing? Mayhaps 🤔 #Wally pookie I’m sorry you’ve been locked away I hope you’re okay lil guy 🫂

[kaseyskat]

i’ve decided i’m just gonna steal sparrow from the rest of the fandom. sorry she’s mine now :(

#kasey rambles #how does she take sole responsibility in moments when it’s Obvious her and lark are working together #but lark gets sole credit for moments that were only SPARROWS #sorry i’m sleep deprived and grouchy #sparrow has not spent an entire lifetime of mediating and stifling her own personage for larks sake for y’all to treat her this way #this is why i will never be a n/ark shipper now btw. it used to be a fun background ship to me #but the way y’all treat sparrow is horrendous and i am very disappointed #the way smth exactly like this happened in my last fandom too. awful!!! #delete later

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

kissing her licking her etc

#sorry it’s the middle of the night and i’m trying to do work but the thought of her is so distracting #nakdshdjshdh #oh i got an appointment scheduled to see a general doc soon and i bet they’ll hook me up to her again :) #then they’ll send me to a cardiologist or smth #idk if it’s my heart exactly anymore tho. i was having trouble breathing earlier. like my throat felt like someone was choking it #but it went away by the time class ended so i was like. eh. can’t be that bad #but i still get chest pain and i stood up earlier and was like wouw my heart oughhh but eh i got shit to do lmao #so much fun tho #i was thinking of housesitting for the next few days and i might still but i would be w/o a car or the internet. which i smth #but i would have access to a shit ton of manga (including dn) and two kitty kitty cats that are sooo cute #and if i downloaded everything i could do school w/o much distraction which would be so useful #but again. no car no internet. u can still call 911 w/o internet if need be but ambulances cost money #so if something happened i would be majorly screwed but whatevs might do it anyway it would be kinda useful for schoolwork u know? #i’m rambling bc it’s late and bc i’m procrastinating. i would give my apologies but it’s kinda a character trait atp

[trollbreak]

Afflicted with Thoughts (character who’s forced themself to be rough and callous looking at someone they care for so much deeper than they’d be willing to admit and. Wanting. Craving their touch. A hand held, or a brush of the elbow, anything. They’d burn the world for a hug if that’s what it took. But. That would mean admitting to that soft, wounded thing under all the shrapnel and metal. So they just. Sit. And look. And hope so desperately that the other would be inspired to initiate something.)

#I’m also very itchy but dw abt that it’s from when I toastied too close to the sun. Icarus and whatnot #anyways. mev 🤝 dari 🤝 bladed 🤝 marrow. self inflicted touch starvation on accident. and they’re too stubborn to realize it #at least geryon. for all the bastard he’s. was like yea I’ll go for some human contact <3 I’m gonna use it to manipulate the hell out of em #later but still <3 #I’d. would include peipre in the handshakes. but um. hers is less a ‘i can’t be vulnerable’ thing and more a ‘convinced herself she’s too #much if she doesn’t filter herself through a sieve first’ and um. swats her with newspaper for it #kit suffers from that too but he’s. bad at keeping her thoughts inside once she gets going. wind up toy of. once u get them talking he’s jus #goin till it runs out of words lol #that’s. how most of the gushing to laambe happens. start rambly abt something while doing smth else and not paying attention to the words an #somewhere down the line goes. um. oh. that was a lot sorry #anyways. the sleepies being with them. tough characters Yearning

[vinnyandthephenomena]

tattoos hm

#cw gonna get a lil EMO! #id like to get coverup tattoos some day like #smth cool :3 #& i want a hello kitty tattoo LOL #regarding coverups i know it’s just shit when i feel like i don’t wanna #‘let go’ #of my scars bc part of me likes them #(i’m mental) #and it’s like. What’s happening #i’ll think about it this summer :3 #sorry to get kinda extra emo on here i’ll try not yo talk about #sh or anything anymore #or at all i wont do that on here lol

[gregoftom]

some of y’all haven’t grown past the treating queer ppl like shit for liking a ship you don’t take seriously stage and it shows

#i think it’s suuuuuper funny that ppl act like only straight girlies like tg lmaooooo #and they act they r the ONLY ones criticising s4 which is uh. not true lmfao #and yk what it’s ok to feel let down by the fact that s3 finale and 4.01 happened and then took a back burner #ppl acting like tg have no focus whatsoever bffr??? lmao they’re one of the favourites of the show #not even shipping perspective - just their writing and interactions you can find article after article abt them/it #so muc as i fucking hate the term bromance that wouldn’t exist in a billion articles if there was nothing #and i’m gonna say smth radical here - it’s ok to like the show mostly for tg #gasp!!!! cant believe ppl might like snth the most that resonates w them or grips them or inspires them to create art/write #as queer ppl maybe it’s nice to see in such a popular and ‘’’serious’’’ show idk. but you get what i mean #and idk man i’m just getting wae flashbacks to years ago when mlm shippers were treated like abso garbage #*war #and yeah ok there ARE some ppl out there who are shitty i’m sure not that i’ve seen any on here but ok. but like. that’s the same for any #group of ppl lmaoooo #‘’’tg shippers are so annoying!!!’’’ why? bc they express frustration at seemingly loose ends of what looked like a tightly written story #abt charas they like togeyher?? no? ok then why speak your mind #and yk i wouldn’t be so skeeved out if it wasn’t ONLY the tg shippers being targeted like. yk how that looks right #literally ain’t seen shit for any other ship or chara enjoyer tbfh #ppl say they hate greg or tom but don’t come after apologists only talk shit abt shippers lol. so it’s ok if it’s not gay gotcha #you see what i mean??? anyway. #sorry for a rant but holy fuck. it’s worse on twitter than on here but 😬

[jenny-dreadful]

yk when someone confidently slides on their socks into a complex ongoing discourse to be like “um actually. [term] means [thing] 💅” all smug, and expect to be taken seriously, not realizing they completely lack a concept of a specific and contextually-applicable usage which everybody else here already understands. <<<<<<<<<

#might as well suggest my asexual ass is claiming to reproduce via budding while you’re at it. you know #versions of this happen all the time #huge contextualizing tag ramble coming. sorry #rn i’m thinking of a post the other day where someone was like #‘actually all christians are evangelical. so………’ #and i mean. it wasn’t like #‘i think this emerged terminology is weird bc evangelising isn’t exclusive to those ones’ #it was like. you know. like they CLEARLY thought that quirk of terminology meant #that all prior discussion and criticism n what have u of Evangelical Christians™️ #should be equally and indiscriminately applied to the whole concept bc theoretically the *name* being used for that specific thing could be #and like. no bb i’m sorry you don’t have the perspective or context or whatever to appreciate this is discussion of #a particular subgroup with like. its own broadly-applicable tendencies n problems n attitudes n behaviors #imagine if you were discussing smth about Baptists [sect] n someone walked in like #‘uhhhh 🤨 other christians do baptism too…so you mean all of them actually…’ #you know. weird and reductive #if you’ve been unable to gather from context what people r talking about here #and you like google ‘what does evangelize mean’ #or whatever the fuck #maybe it’d be good to stop and wonder if ur the kind of expert that should be trynna correct people

[flayerlinked-archived]

if 👏 you 👏 follow 👏 anyone 👏 on 👏 my 👏 dni 👏 list 👏 do 👏 NOT 👏 FOLLOW 👏 ME 👏

#[ i can’t even count how many times this has happened to me this week alone #and i’m so TIRED #i’ve tried to be nice about it i really have #but this tells me you did not read my rules at all in the first place or you just decided to blatantly ignore them #i do NOT want you to follow me if you follow these people please i beg you #it’s not a difficult task just please please respect my boundaries bc this is actually starting to actually get very upsetting #and i’m sorry for making another post about it but idek what else to do idk why i have to keep saying this #and i will hardblock you if you do this bc i’m done like i’m sorry but if you can’t respect me then bye #ig i need to add smth about this to my pinned post i just don’t know how to be any clearer about it ]

[soup-scope]

there’s only so many videos i think can be made with the dahlia storyline

do y’all think that at some point (IN THE FAR FUTURE) that if erik is still writing and making stories, he’ll work on a different connected universe??

#tbh i love the dahlia storyline but i think there’s only so far he CAN take it ya know without dragging it #as much as i’d love vamp bf videos for the rest of my life bro can’t work on this stuff forever #i’m thinking into the FAR future btw not expecting him to do this like next week or smth 😭😭 #i think it’d be fun for like. a high fantasy setting with erik’s writing ya know #and also cause i like how erik plays with the tropes of the fantasy bf audio rp stuff #i think he’d have a *TIME* exploring more fantastical stuff #i know there are other asmr people who do high fantasy stuff #i just really like erik’s writing and if sometime *IN THE FUTURE* if he ever decides to write smth with that. i’ll be first in line to #DEVOUR THAT CONTENT #but in order for that to happen he’d have to finish everything going down in Dahlia and like. #that’s gonna take. AWHILE. #this is just food for thought. #i think i just really want him to write an enemies to lovers storyline #sorry yall 💔💔 #redacted asmr #redacted audio #asmr boyfriend #boyfriend asmr #redactedverse