#and so forth! but genuinely like... a lot of reader fics default to having a thin reader | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

favoniuscodex · 3 years

Text

[SUBMISSION FIC] changing tides. (childe x gn.reader)

summary: up until a short while ago, it seemed that you hated childe, just like a lot of people do. but now? now that doesn’t quite seem the case anymore. and childe doesn’t necessarily know what to make of it.

potential warnings: enemies to lovers (? if that’s really not your thing, though this is firmly in the “to lovers” range)

word count: ~2k. god

HELLO ALL, wrote a fic bc i got emo abt not pulling childe yet,,,,,, i hate him but i love him,,,,,, this was originally written with an oc of mine in mind but i’ve since changed it for a reader insert since i think that fits just as well. first time writing for childe in this manner, so if characterisation is off, don’t blame axia i swear to god. and to axia - bless u for letting me submit this kjshfkjsd. hope everyone enjoys wheeeee

———

something’s bothering childe about your closeness, and he hates that he just can’t seem to mask it as well as he can with others. for some time now, the two of you have been at this back-and-forth sort of rivalry, where he teases and pokes and pushes, and you snarl at him to quit the shit unless he wants to get his lights knocked out. he’s certain you just hate him, and there’s something to that that just thrills him. hell, even when the two of you fight physically, trading blows in a spar that started just because he got on your nerves just a little too much, he’s still grinning the whole time. to an extent, he’s used to your hatred, maybe even revels in it, and there’s something with you that he just can’t keep away from. but even when he teases, he doesn’t get the same response back anymore. scathing glares and sneers have been handed in for only narrowed glances and pursed lips - loathing for just annoyance. even then, it feels off-kilter in a way. surely you’re not just… getting bored of him, are you? it troubles him. and that troubled feeling is precisely how he finds himself here.

he’s invited himself over to your house once more, barging in without knocking even, but not once do you demand to know why he’s found fit to enter without asking. he’s louder than normal as he drapes himself across the back of the couch as dramatically as possible, turning that obnoxiousness dial of his as high as it can go, all in hopes that you’ll try to kick him out or grab your blade and demand he meet you outside… but there’s nothing. you glance at him out of the corner of your eye, you snicker and groan at his antics and wave him off with a dismissive shake of your head, but he just can’t get to you like he used to. with a huff, he plops down heavily in the chair next to yours in your living room while you take care of some papers for work. again, you send him that sideways glance and a raised eyebrow, and he waits for even a vaguely scathing comment. he hears you hum, amused (amused???), but you make no other comment as your gaze returns to your paperwork. he has to try so hard not to visibly roll his eyes, and settles instead for propping his chin up onto his palm and giving a long, drawn-out sigh as he pouts in the direction of your living room window. then, finally, he hears you sigh in turn and put both pen and paper down, and he has to fight back a smile when he sees you turn to him out of the corner of his eye. you lean in close, and he waits for his long-overdue reprimand. but no. even still, even now, you just stare at him, eyes narrowed as you lean forward. he glances your way too, nonchalant (though perhaps not entirely), and he hopes you can see that challenging glint in his eye, that you’ll rise up to it. you frown, and give a quiet huff. “okay, fine,” you tell him, almost exasperated, “I’ll bite. what’s wrong, childe?” he shrugs, moving his gaze to stare out the window once more as he gives his own dismissive sigh. “nothing,” he says simply, and this time doesn’t stop the shit-eating grin from creeping across his face. he hopes it bugs you. “nothing at all.” you purse your lips again, and lean ever closer, until you’re sitting on the edge of your own seat. you reach out to him, and he, like the fool he is, gets his hopes up for but a moment before you subvert all his expectations and grab his hand instead. carefully, you pry it out from under where his chin was resting, forcing him (intentionally or not) to sit up straight again and you clutch his palm in both of yours. your grip is tight, insistent, but it doesn’t hurt. it’s an odd feeling coming from someone like you, and he doesn’t know quite what to make of it. the thought makes something churn in his stomach. “you can be a real awful liar sometimes, you know that?” you tell him; there’s a teasing edge to your voice, but it doesn’t cut into him, doesn’t do damage in the way he wants it to. he pouts again, and you frown right back. “see, there it is again. something is wrong.” he gives a short huff, and turns his gaze even further from you. “it’s… fine. really, it’s nothing,” he responds, deadpan. it’ll *have* to be fine, since you’re clearly no longer interested in him in the way you used to be. that’s fine. but then, you surprise him again - gently, even uncharacteristically so, your hand comes up to cup his cheek. childe almost flinches at the softness and genuine emotion behind the action, so thoroughly unused to the feeling of it (especially from you), but he holds it back as he turns his gaze back to stare at you, eyes carefully neutral. you frown then, and shift from your position in next him with a low, disappointed hum. his own eyebrows raise ever so slightly as you lean forward out of your seat and swing a leg over onto his lap so that you’re straddling him (still gently, he notes with some degree of frustration). your other hand, now letting go of where it held his, comes up to match its other, dragging fingers softly, sweetly, up the side of his neck til it meets the other cheek too. you tilt your head a few degrees the other way as you scrutinise him. “baby,” you murmur then, almost pleading, brow scrunched ever so slightly in what *has* to be concern. “ajax, sweetheart, talk to me.” he has to shut his eyes then as some new emotion washes over him like the tide onto the shore. he feels your thumb sweep over his cheekbone, and try as he might he can’t help but to lean into it with a quietly resigned sigh. it feels… nice. comforting. genuine. the last one twists his lungs ever more. “thought you said you hated me, hm?” he says in a low voice, unwilling to disturb the energy in the room with anything more playful like he’d normally say. he hopes the lump in his throat isn’t as audible as he thinks it is. “I seem to remember you making all of that quite clear to me before.” he can almost hear your eyes narrow and your forehead scrunch in confusion, though he’s still not opening his eyes to check (the one time he’ll indulge in cowardice). but soon enough, you sigh, and squeeze his face ever so slightly. “…not for a while now, though.” you pause. “and in any case, weren’t you supposed to be the observant one? thought you’d have noticed by now anyway.” he raises a single eyebrow at that, and opens one eye to catch a glimpse of your expression. your eyes are narrowed, still in concern (he thinks, though hopes not), but he can still see that spark of amusement twinkling deeper. your smile is small, soft, teasing as it pulls back even further watching him. he opens both his eyes then, rolling them as he sighs dramatically (pushing away that discomfort, that writhing feeling in his stomach, anything to get back to normal). he even brings the back of a hand to his forehead as he all but wails, “what a shame! and here I thought I found someone worthy of a strong rivalry with yours truly! what a shame that I really can conquer them all.” he sighs again, trading that neutral look for his signature grin. (what a shame that you’ve already conquered him so wholly.) you roll your eyes in turn, still not letting go of his face at all as you lean in closer. that amused spark grows brighter. “conquered? oh honey–” (that word again, normally dripping with contempt, oozes nothing but teasing love, and his stomach flips again) “–if you think even for a moment that just because I like you as much as I do you’ve won anything by default, then maybe you haven’t been paying attention.” childe opens his mouth to respond, another lighthearted quip on the tip of his tongue, but suddenly you react, eyes shooting wide as your hold on his face tenses so briefly. “wait, no, stop that! you’re dodging my question!” your eyes narrow again, back to concern and careful analysis. one hand lifts from his cheek and comes to rest against his shoulder. “what’s wrong, really? you’re so out of it, I’ve never seen you this uncomfortable.” (damn, he thought he’d been hiding it well enough.) “is it something I’ve done?” “no!” he blurts out, hating how quick the response is and how he can feel his face heat up at realising that. “i– no, just… I guess I didn’t expect such a… positive reaction to me bugging you as much as I’ve been trying to,” he finally confesses as he moves his gaze to the wall next to the both of you. it could use with some decorating, he thinks. “least of all from you, maybe.” the last part is much quieter, so much that even he has to almost strain to hear it. you hum in lieu of a response. instead, you lean in closer, yet closer, until your lips find his own. it’s slow, so slow he might have mistaken it once for hesitation if he didn’t know you any better, but when he tries to push back into the touch, you pull away just as much; your hands, on his face and his shoulder, press back and insist he stay put. you can’t stop his hands from dragging up along your thighs, however, to the edge of your hips, gripping just below the waist and squeezing where he can; he needs to ground himself, against this wave, this tsunami, of conflicting emotion. you pull away completely then, eyes lidded not with desire or annoyance like he’s used to seeing, but something else. “listen,” you implore, voice low and honeyed, “I didn’t particularly enjoy the realisation I genuinely liked you either. really, I mean it, you bastard!” you swat his arm when he chuckles at you. “but I love you. celestia knows I love you. I’ll not shy away from that, unless you’re really, genuinely discomforted by that.” you scrutinise him again as you glance over the space between you. “it’s new to me, at least. I know what this–” you gesture loosely between the both of you, “–was like before, and I know it’s different. however…” once more your hand matches its pair by coming up to rest on his face, though this time sliding further back to thread fingers into his hair. it’s nice, he thinks. “…i want to give it a try if you do.” he swallows the lump in his throat, or at least tries to. “say that again,” he demands, though it comes out weaker than he’d like. damn, his voice is still thick. you raise one brow. “this is new but I’ll give it a try?” “before that.” “I’ll stop if you’re uncomfortable?” “bit more.” “…ah,” you murmur simply. you let out a small chuckle then, before leaning in once more. your lips brush his ever so gently and he loves it. “I love you,” you whisper to him. like a secret meant only for him. he grips your hips tighter, pulls you closer to him, and he smiles back to you. “that’s the one,” he answers simply. he kisses you back yet again, and for some reason, it feels like a first, all over again.

#JSDKAKKASDKJAS THIS IS SO CUTE OMG OMG OMGKDSFSJDKJASKJJKASJKASKS #im IN LOVE WITH THIS #THANK U FOR THE SUBMISSION !!!!#childe x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #childe #submission fic #AAAAAAAAA THIS IS SO CUTE!!! SOFT CHILDE SOFT CHILDE #submission

333 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 4 years

Text

For the record, I focus a lot more on Dick and Jason’s relationship than I do Dick and Tim’s, but that’s because I don’t tend to agree with a ton of the more popular Tim takes out there, so there’s not much....drive for me to interact with Tim content too much. And also, I was a fan of what little we got of Dick and Jason being brothers before ADITF, like right when I first got into comics as a kid, and then I quickly burned through that and caught up with what was being currently published, and found out Jason was dead, lol.

And then Jason was dead in the comics for like 15 years while we had plenty of Dick and Tim bonding on the page, and then Jason came back and was written very shittily IMO, so I was mostly just flip-flopping back and forth between “yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay they brought Jason back” and “noooooooooooooooooo they’re making me almost sorry they brought Jason back” with little else in between.

And then they stopped being Completely The Worst with Jason, and when I popped back up in fandom again this past year, Dick was still...not super popular with Tim fans these days, because of the whole RR thing with a lot of people.

While meanwhile, after yeeeeeeeeeeeeeears of a lot of fans defaulting to the take that Dick hated Jason and was an asshole to him before he died and Jason never liked him either, people seemed to actually be receptive to the same kind of “hey what if Dick and Jason were brothers who actually loved and valued each other and Dick missed him and mourned him” takes I’ve been making for like twenty years, because I AM a broken record, in fact.

All of which is just to say.....I write a lot of stuff about Dick and Jason and focus on their sibling relationship for a lot of reasons. I’m a reader before I’m a writer, particularly when it comes to fandom content - I’m never lacking for ideas, and the more I can read of what I’d like to see, the easier it is to pick from what’s left over and write just the stuff that I’m NOT finding anywhere else, that’s less likely to exist if I don’t write it myself.

So basically.....I tend not to write for stuff I don’t see a lack of. If I can already find enough I like in some specific direction to read, I’m doing that. Its the stuff I can’t find anywhere outside of my own thoughts that I most focus on, writing-wise.

And given that I’ve been wanting to see more of Dick and Jason as brothers since I was ten, and had a lot of years after that of Dick and Tim......I just have a lot more stuff to say about Dick and Jason, and a lot more that I want to read/write of them.

BUT its never been that I don’t like Dick and Tim’s sibling relationship, or Dick and Damian’s, or Dick and Bruce’s parent/child dynamic from when he was younger and they were really close. Its just....I don’t see those as really being things that lack for content if I’m not writing things myself. So I don’t hate Bruce and Dick getting along.....but there’s a ton of content out there where they’re just Good Dad Bruce and son, and far less that delves into the less pleasant aspects of things, but which I very much have thoughts on.

I LOVE Dick and Dami together, honestly, because for years now, Damian has pretty consistently been one of the only characters shown.....meeting Dick half way, and like, ‘putting up with stuff’ he’s not comfortable with for others, just for Dick’s sake and because Dick being happy matters to him, and then shown grudgingly liking the hugs and whatnot in return as well.

That’s ideal for me, a dynamic where Dick isn’t just constantly the only one changing to be what the other person wants or expects him to be, or the only one putting up with things that maybe he’s less than comfortable with just to make someone else happy....a dynamic where he’s not the only one expected to change in order to make things work.....that’s ultimately all I’d like for any of his relationships to be. With Damian, I tend to find a decent amount of that already existing in fandom, at least far more than any of the others, so there’s never been much of a pull towards writing that specifically.

And while Dick hasn’t tended to be too popular with a lot of Tim’s fandom in recent years, at least comparatively speaking, there’s still a decent amount of older fic I find, pre-BFTC, that has the dynamic I really enjoy from them. And aside from that....I’d say they actually have the most canon content out there of the two of them being brothers who love, value and respect each other, going all the way back to Tim’s earliest appearances. I’d argue they actually have more along those lines than Dick and Damian, just because sheer length of time involved......Damian’s still only been around a little over ten years, whereas Tim and Dick were close for almost twice that by the time Damian came along, so there really is a ton of canon content out there of them being close.

And of course, there hasn’t been much of Dick and Cass in aaaaaaaages, and there’s basically no Jason and Cass, which in turn fuels a lot of my recent “What if Dick and Jason and Cass were all close as the three eldest kids” talk of late, etc, etc.

So, if you were ever curious about what pulls my focus the most and why, that tends to be how things break down for me. The more I have to say about specific characters, stories, scenes or dynamics, and the less I see anyone else saying it....that’s what tends to get most of my energy.

BUT also just for the record.....that doesn’t ever mean that I actually dislike or am open to hate on any of the Batfamily, I always say I’m here for the WHOLE found family, and I mean it. I’m critical of Bruce in areas and times where I think he’s done things that are worth criticizing and that don’t go away when I just pretend otherwise.....but the criticism comes from a genuine desire to see him written BETTER, without the abusive overtones and outright abuse he’s been written with at times.

And yeah, I’m occasionally petty about Tim, sure, but that tends to be more me just knee-jerk reaction to seeing a thing elsewhere and tbh is not usually meant all that seriously. He’s not my favorite, but I don’t hate him, and I could never imagine writing any of his siblings as actually hating him for the same reasons I don’t write them hating any of each other either. I don’t like writing families that play favorites, or have members they actually hate or don’t like. It just....defeats the point of them being a family, for me? Like, that’s really all it comes down to. People have asked me about whether I’d ever write Dick leaving the family to strike out on his own, and tbh, that’s usually a no, because that’s not what I want, as I also don’t think its what his character would ever want.....he wants his family, I just want to write them as ALL getting along and being healthy for ALL of each other.

But bottom line there is just....Dick is unabashedly my favorite, Jason my second fave, the others all tending to ebb and flow at times to different levels.....BUT I never actually hate any of them, and I’m not trying to give that impression or receive a lot of takes based on the assumption I am or looking for solidarity on hating any of them. Sometimes some of the other characters tick me off, sometimes fans of another character tick me off, I be petty or vent, and then its usually over and I’m back to good. *Shrugs*

20 notes · View notes

simplyoriginalcharacters · 7 years

Text

K'uro Leliel (The Prisoner)

This is an Elder Scrolls OC adapted from my Skyrim playthrough character. The universe he exists in is a multiverse fic consisting of characters from different universes in some sort of task force.

Basic Appearance

K’uro is a brown-furred Khajiit, with black stripes and yellow eyes. He has black pupils and rather prominent fangs as a result of his vampirism. His standard outfit consists of a black leather cuirass over a puffy blood-red shirt, with black steel pauldrons, black cape, and black baggy pants fitting into his Vampire Boots. Basically he’s wearing the Vampire Royal Armor from Skyrim. In direct sunlight he wears a black leather hood that half-negates his natural weakness to sunlight. His default expression is a mixture of smug and seductive, that will either make you want to swoon or punch him square in the jaw. Generally, it’s the latter.

Cori here! Read the rest of the profile and my critique under the cut.

Personality

K’uro Leliel is a hedonistic but otherwise lovingly passionate pansexual Khajiit Vampire Lord with a propensity for bad decisions preceding extreme capability. Behind his reckless and party-animal exterior lies a deceptively well-educated individual thanks to his scholarly childhood. K’uro is rather charismatic and seductive, though these are mostly for fleeting flings and bribery. When he truly, genuinely loves an individua, he proves to be a passionate and genuine lover who heartily accepts the idea of a poly relationship. He has a tendency to get involved in people’s business, generally to coax the prospect of a quest and maybe a reward. This is sometimes (commonly) interpreted as an insult. K’uro is not a heavily religious man, despite having sold his soul to no less than 18 deities and demons, but otherwise believes in the idea of Talos worship. He acts before he thinks more often than not, but is quick at assessing a situation. Nordic artifacts tends to gravitate towards him, though he is much more fascinated by Akaviri and Vampiric artifacts. Despite his tendency to get into bad situations in the pursuit of fortune, he displays a considerable capability and confidence not otherwise seen elsewhere. He may be a guile hero, but he has an eye for an eye moral code that he follows to a tee.\

Powers

K’uro, as both a Vampire Lord and the Dovahkiin, is an extremely powerful individual. He has mastery over a wide variety of Shouts (most commonly Whirlwind Sprint, Slow Time, Unrelenting Force, and Drain Vitality), in addition to a variant of Vampire Blood Magic. Said variant utilizes a form of half-transformation, allowing K’uro to maintain his Khajiit form without fully becoming the monstrous form normally seen by a Vampire, though while in this state he does take on some of the form’s ghoulish features to a lesser degree. The form of Vampire Lord grants K’uro a powerful offensive blast of life-draining energy, the ability to raise moderately powerful corpses, short-range teleportation via turning into bats, increased strength, and the ability to turn his hands into monstrous claws. He can also channel blood not only from his mouth but also his claws, which is a little-known feature of vampiric Khajiits only undiscovered due to the rarity of said combination. Apart from the Thu’um and the powers granted unto him by his vampiric nature, K’uro is secretly one of the greatest masters of Alteration magic in Tamriel. While the status seems rather dull given that Alteration is not as flashy as Destruction or Illusion, K’uro’s creative uses of its techniques would rival the most flashiest of Destruction infernos. Whether it be effortless telekinesis, stopping time within an radius, constant levitation, or even the creation of steamroller-sized stones from thin air. He manages to hide his status as an Alteration Master due to how often he uses it as a mundane utility that no one seems to question, or otherwise passes off as standard Vampire Lord powers. In sunlight his powers are halved, he loses his natural healing factor, and is extremely susceptible to fire magic. He also can’t be healed by most means aside from drinking blood.

Backstory

K’uro Leliel, birthname J’akuro Levathahrel, was born in 4E 173 in the province of Elsweyr as the only child of a family of well-respected scholars. His parents were well respected members of the Mournhold Museum Memorial Archeologist Guild in the city of Blacklight, and as such frequently traveled back and forth between the Elsweyr and Morrowind. It was during one of these excursions to Blacklight that he met Vivian Mandragora, and the two formed a strong, almost filial bond of friendship.

As a child he displayed a knack for melee combat paired with an unstoppable drive below his lazy and hedonistic exterior. From his youth he noticed that many of the Nordic artifacts his parents often researched seemed to be calling out to something within him, though he much preferred the history of Skyrim’s vampires over Nordic legend. This fascination for vampires came to a head when, while poring over a tome detailing the legend of the Volkihar Vampire Clan, came face to face with a vampire thief sent by the Volkihar clan to retrieve said tome, as it detailed several theories regarding the Prophecy of the Sun. The thief was unnerved by both the lack of fear in the young J’akuro’s eyes and the kitten’s bizarre eagerness to be turned and to learn from the thief. The thief invited the young J’akuro to the Volkihar Clan, which was more of a ploy to escape the premises than an actual promises. Even though he saw the remains of a familiar vampire outside in the market the next morning, J’akuro took the invitation to heart, and pledged to find a way to live in Skyrim to make good on the offer.

His plan involved getting into the College of Winterhold, and lucky for him his family had a sizable collection of books on magical research. Thalmor law in Elsweyr forbade the practice of Conjuration without a license, and while his Illusion and Destruction mastery was nothing to sneer at, his real forte was in the art of Alteration. His prodigious skill in Alteration was enough to convince his parents to send him to the illustrious College at the age of 27. On arrival in Windhelm, J’akuro paid his carriage driver to take him to Solitude, planning to travel from there to Castle Volkihar. The carriage was accosted by a small-time bandit somewhere by Helgen, and in J’akuro’s pursuit of the horse thief he was became accidentally involved in the capture of Ulfric Stormcloak by the Imperial Legion. As he was not on the list for execution in Helgen, the cat created a new name, K’uro Leliel, derived from the Akaviri word for night and the ancient Imperial name for Nocturnal. Hadvar just called him “Prisoner.” Following Alduin’s attack on Helgen and K’uro’s quick escape, he discovered he was Dragonborn while doing work for the Jarl of Whiterun. He soon found himself caught up in an adventure that he figured would be higher priority than becoming a Vampire.

During his quest to defeat Alduin, he found himself reunited with his old friend Vivian while in Solitude. He learned about the struggling Dragonborn Gallery, a project managed by his family’s old friend Auryen Morellus, and how Vivian was having trouble finding artifacts to populate the empty museum. Feeling a bit of nostalgia from both meeting his friend and how the museum reminded him of home, K’uro made a deal with the Museum as Dragonborn to donate any artifacts he found during his quests, which turned out to be quite a lot. Following the defeat of Alduin, K’uro was hailed as a hero throughout Skyrim, though it was after leaving Sovngarde that he was reminded of his original purpose of even coming to Skyrim in the first place. By that time Vivian had left K’uro to recover a priceless artifact in Elsweyr, so he was able to covertly travel to Solitude and make good on the empty promise of that vampire thief from his childhood.

Receiving the Gift from Lord Harkon, K’uro proved himself while retrieving both Serana and the Bloodstone Chalice in quick succession. However, even after speaking with Serana, he had his doubts about the Vampire Lord himself. Traveling to the Soul Cairn and back and traversing the Forgotten Vale, K’uro found himself completing the very prophecy that inspired him to become a Vampire Lord. Following the retrieval of Auriel’s Bow, K’uro and Serana promptly used it to defeat Lord Harkon, resulting in K’uro becoming Lord of the Volkihar Clan.

Hello, thanks for your submission! Let’s see what K’uro’s all about.

First off, I want to say that K’uro’s appearance section is pretty vague. I’m not really getting a good idea of what your character looks like based off your description. You said this was a character for some kind of crossover story, which means you might get some readers who aren’t familiar with the Elder Scrolls. With that in mind my first suggestion is to pretend you’re trying to describe your character to someone who has no idea what The Elder Scrolls is. What, pray tell, is a Khajiit? How do they look different from other races in Tamriel? Keep this part simple, however–don’t spend two paragraphs trying to explain everything about Khajiit to your reader.

(Also, you might be aware that there are many forms of Khajiit–don’t get bogged down trying to teach your readers the names of every single form. As long as people understand the general SHAPE of your character, in-universe terms are irrelevant.)

Once your readers understand what a Khajiit is, go into some more details about his actual features. Give me the shape of his eyes, ears, and nose, the styling of his hair, any kind of markings or features that would help to differentiate him from other Khajiit. Describe his height and body type to me–I know Skyrim doesn’t give you a lot of options for body customization, but there’s a lot of variety out there that could help to distinguish your character.

Personality-wise, I have a basic idea of what K’uro is like, but I’d like to see more detail here. What I’m getting at the moment is that K’uro is not much more than a typical RPG character–which is to say he’s nosy, he’s manipulative, and he’s aggressive. Based on the way most western RPGs are designed around fighting monsters and getting quests from strangers, I think it’s safe to say that most RPG avatars could be described the way you’ve described K’uro. It’s not a very exciting or unique combination of traits on its own. How are you going to make your RPG character different from every other person’s RPG character? I’d also like to point out that I really have no idea what’s currently motivating K’uro in any way. The goals and motivations that you gave me in this profile all seem to be past tense–K’uro’s already gotten what he’s wanted. He’s achieved his dream of being a Vampire lord. He saved the world. What more is there for him to do? How are you planning on developing K’uro beyond what he was at the end of his original story–what new character arc is he going to go through?

Let’s touch on that backstory now. I’m just going to say plainly that I think you have way too much going on with your character at the moment. Not only is K’uro Dragonborn, which is basically the Tamriel equivalent of ‘The Chosen One’, but he is also a master of magic, the lord of vampires, AND he’s got the attention of “18 deities and demons”. This Khajiit has been sticking his fingers in a lot of pies.

I get that Skyrim is a big game, and it has a lot of stuff for you to do with your character without imposing any kind of limitations. I’ve played enough of the game to have one character be in charge of basically every single guild, clique, and scout troop across the country. But we’re talking about a game that can be played for over 100 hours. There’s simply no good or practical way to cram everything you do in your game into a story for other people to read. For one thing, if all you’re doing is retelling the same story from the game, people who are familiar with the game are going to feel like they have nothing new to gain from reading your story. “Oh, this is the part where he defeats the dragon and learns that he’s Dragonborn. I’ve already seen this part myself five times.” For another thing, written stories and video games are drastically different mediums, and you will likely find that the plot holes that people didn’t care about in a video game will bother them greatly in a story–for example, they might question why any daedra or divine would trust K’uro to devote himself to them when he’s already ‘devoted’ himself to three of their rivals. Also, why would K’uro use the fact that he’s a vampire to hide his skill with magic? I feel like even in a scenario where magic is frowned upon, being a vampire would be considered a worse offense. Shouldn’t it be reversed, where K’uro is claiming that his vampiric abilities are just “really, really advanced magic!”?

All in all, I don’t know what direction you’re planning on taking K’uro in the future. It’s not very fun to read about a character who is done with their personal growth arc, so I hope that you’ve got something in mind for him. Without any hints as to what, however, this character feels incomplete. My recommendation for you is to cut back on how many things K’uro has “mastered” to make his backstory seem more coherent and less cluttered. Does he really have to be a master vampire AND a master magician AND the chosen one AND the champion of eighteen Princes of Oblivion? Give him some room for improvement so that he has something to do in this story you’re planning, which I’m assuming happens after the events of Skyrim. There’s no chance for conflict if your character is already ‘the best’ at everything.

Keep working on it! ~Cori

#SOC Critique #OC Critique #submission

0 notes