#and then when denji was being denji the look of resignation in his face

[righteousdelusions]

i wonder if Yoshida was always meant to be super attractive. He's really not that attractive in his first chapter, he looks more creppy than cute... but then in his fight with quanxi he does look attractive. Aki looks attractive but in a sort of generic serious boy way. Maybe Fujimoto was getting the hang of drawing him, in part 2 his design makes more sense, it's more consistent and is actually mysterious slimy (tentacle bishonen) hot

#he still has some creepiness in him but i do think it's more supposed to be... dangerous in a hot way #him 'what a coincidence we bumped with each other' when we see him staring at denji with his chin in his hand... he's so bad at his job #probably they won't show him next chapter but i really do want to see if they fire him askjda or what will be the consequence for letting #people find out #maybe like some people says he'll kill the witness #but aja will asa/yoru keep the secret? and if they do still yoru is out for blood #also i read the date cake again because im jobless but #the fact denji asked what was going to happen and he deflected it with flirting #and then when denji was being denji the look of resignation in his face #fujimoto is putting so much characterization in yoshida and no one cares because we're busy drolling aksdha #also i get the joke that yoshida likes denji and that's why he set him up with asa #when actually girl flirted with him unprovoked so when denji asked for a girl desesperate for a boyfriend he just thought of her xD #it's a good joke and it shows he's actually trying to get the boy a girlfriend xddd #chainsaw man

[doniveatry]

No one ever believes or imagines that they will no longer be able to see the love of their life. Because, even if you say you are ready for it if one day it happens. We are never ready.

I never was.

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the white ceiling of the hospital, the curtains were closed but the light of the cloudy day still came in. I knew that after this all there would be was chaos. But... I foolishly thought he would be there. Holding my hand when I woke up.

I never imagined a life without him, because that didn't exist.

Denji sobbed on the side of my bed, a muffled, dry, emotionless sob.

I looked at him with fear even though my body felt numb. I looked in the room for his black hair between those two blonde hairs, but it wasn't there. "Where is he here?" I asked, now aware that I had an IV in my hand.

Denji looked up. Biting his lower lip without saying a single word. And I asked again. “Where is he?” Power looked down at me, curled up against the bed near my feet.

She spoke. “Don't be angry..” I was about to get out of bed when I heard the door to the hospital room open and I could see the red-haired woman enter.

I walk at a slow pace, killing myself with every step, the heel of his shoe echoes in the uncertainty of my silence. Power and Denji acted silently and simply walked away, leaving us alone. There, with her there.

—Hayakawa. —She began once sitting on the stool next to the bed, casually observing the polish on her nails. —Hayakawa died.—

Makima had looked up for a moment, over her bangs and her thick eyelashes that fluttered so often to make him fall for her charms. I never knew if it was love or admiration that he felt for her, but there it was.

My heart clenched as my breathing became labored. —Oh and don't worry, although it has left us a lot of work, we already solved it.—

I turned my face to the opposite side where she was, I didn't want her to see me feel miserable. He was not there.

A lump tightened my throat while my lip trembled, I still did not have complete sensitivity in my body and I could not move. The hiccups and choking didn't take long to come as I felt trapped in that hospital room with the curtains closed.

A cold ran through my body as I was bursting into tears. I could never tell him that I loved him. I thought I would see him that same afternoon as we had agreed. That he would resign and we would escape there.

But it was no longer there.

Makima smiled as she got up from her seat, she didn't seem to care about trying to comfort me or something, she reached the window and opened the curtains, letting in the little light that came in due to the thick clouds that covered the sky.—Oh! Look, it's snowing!

Was this what it felt like to lose someone?...

[...]

The following days my recovery was progressive. Even though they forced me to take the pills I had to take, because I refused to take them, I kept going.

We couldn't offer him a proper funeral. They told us they needed his body as proof, proof of what? The government probably wanted to keep it because it was already in possession.

Was he still human when he died?

Or have you suffered? According to Denji, who witnessed his death, he claimed that he was very emotional and said nonsense that he was happy to play with him.

But still every night I torment myself, is this how we end? buried? I don't want them to lock him underground. He wouldn't have liked it. Much less being under observation with scientists. Or worse, burned somewhere.

Even though his last moments alive were hell, he still didn't deserve it. He was just a kid who took care of other kids.

Every night, after tormenting myself and after losing sleep, I remember it.

Him smoking on the balcony, always turning his back on me, not letting me go out with him because he wanted me to live longer, or not letting me help him bandage himself when some contract with his demons required pieces of meat.

But what was always there was the feeling that at any moment he would return and open the door of the house, announcing himself and being happily received.

He was always there, because I refused to accept that he was no longer there.

#aki hayakawa #Englishisnotmyfirstlanguage! #hayakawa aki #aki x reader #csm aki #chainsaw man denji #aki hayakawa x reader #chaisawman #csm x reader #csm manga #aki chainsaw man

[takoyaaki]

[aki hayakawa] to hold in one’s heart.

aki hayakawa x gn!reader; sfw scenario with a little angst. reupload from @.4pochi.

every day, aki just wants to hold your body to his and never let go.  but one day, he’ll have to, and what frightens him the most is that he doesn’t know what the last words you’ll hear from him will be.  

so he tries to make them count, associate good memories with them – raindrops of happiness in this doomed world.

to respect aki’s formal living arrangements with power and denji, you had relocated into the apartment two doors down.  although aki originally insisted that you move into a different building, you reassured him that neither of his roommates would cause you trouble.  “they’re too busy fighting among themselves,” you snickered into his ear, eyes radiant.  “besides, it’ll be a shorter trip if you ever want to come over for a break.”

a “break” would usually mean every night, once power and denji had dozed off.  and they were nice breaks, usually with quieter dinners and more eaten food.  

cooking in your company was soothing.  aki didn’t have to worry about getting hit in the head with a spare book, or accommodating two picky eaters.  he’s historically been a tired man, and there isn’t an evening that goes by where you don’t ask him if you can cook for him so he can rest a bit longer.  

and each time he says that all the rest he needs is with you, so softly that you think you’re imagining his words.  but then he looks away, face slightly red despite his usual neutral countenance, and you smile to yourself, going to check what’s left in the fridge.

he’s noticed that you prefer sitting besides him at the chabudai table while the two of you eat instead of across.  when you nudge your head against his shoulder after a meal, leaning against his body, he tilts his body into yours as well, attempting to make his shoulder as comfortable as possible.  he also minimizes his arm movements as to not jostle you, even if you weren’t necessarily intent on falling asleep.

“aren’t you sleepy, aki?”

“no.  but we can go to bed if you are.”

the two of you stay together until morning, but before the sun rises.  he savors the solace that is falling asleep with his head tucked underneath your chin and legs woven with yours; his fingers hold onto the curve of your hip underneath the covers. you smell nice wearing his shirt, and he’s made a point to separate the ones he’s worn to work versus the ones he used to wear – you don’t need any part of the safety bureau on you.

“you’re making a face again.”

“it’s dark.  there’s no way you can see my face right now.”

“okay, then i just know you’re making a face.  what are you thinking about, aki?”

it’s moments like those that he wishes he can prolong, stretch like gum and inhale your scent again.  hear your voice so close to him that it’s tangible, that he can reach out and hold it – hold you.  each day is a mission to survive, and all he wants is to come home to you.

home.  to whatever is above, aki hopes that he’s not being selfish with you.  you might be safer without him, without a connection to the hunters.  and each time you say that he’s making that face, you cradle his visage in your palms and tell him to stop.

“you’ll worry yourself to death before you get killed out there.  please be easier on yourself, okay?  for those two, as well.”

so he has.  he does.  as much as he can, he stops worrying about what if’s and looks towards the future.  even though he has his reservations, he doesn’t outwardly speak of them.  he’s schooled his features enough so that you can’t tell he’s thinking about them, at least.  

but you know.  when you squeeze his fingers and kiss the back of his hand, and his instincts tell him to draw you in and not let go, aki can only let out a sigh of resignation into your hair.

“thank you.”

#chainsaw man x reader #csm x reader #aki hayakawa x reader #hayakawa aki x reader #aki hayakawa headcanons #hayakawa aki headcanons #aki hayakawa scenarios #hayakawa aki scenarios #aki hayakawa fluff #hayakawa aki fluff #aki hayakawa angst #hayakawa aki angst #plum.txt