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samcadoodles · 4 months

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No but hear me out...

Younger Jaheira x Karlach

I have given the pairing some thought, but bg3 Jaheira with Karlach didn't seem to click for me. I cannot see Jaheira developing feelings for her, even if I ignore the age gap.

I love Jaheira both young and old, but what makes me pick one or the other for writing is the difference in her personality.

BH3 Jaheira is so much more chill, hard to provoke and with a better sense of humor. And she has softened considerably, despite the emotional distance she keeps.

YOUNG Jaheira? She was hard-headed, angrier even. Extra sassy. Bossy.

She wouldn't go easy on you. Granted, young Jaheira was secretly very emotional too, but in most cases she would reply to you with snark. She would comfort you in your real emotional struggles, but anything else? It's "Get up, get over it, and let's get going."

I'm not complaining about her in either instances. I am charmed by her annoyance at things. It's the kind to make you smile and want to either poke at her or find a way to make her crack and smile too. You really could rile her up back then.

WHAT I'M SAYING IS,

in my personal analysis of her character, I think that Karlach would VERY MUCH be young Jaheira's type.

Jaheira who has a weakness for softies, and they can easily coax her into things, into changing her mind, into softening too.

Jaheira who also has a weakness for people with such good hearts. People who can be optimistic without being fools about it. People who amaze her with how easily and often they can smile.

Karlach's views on life and hope and her heartfelt words would touch Jaheira so much, and Jaheira wouldn't know what to do with herself every time Karlach said such things. It would inevitably cause a conflict inside her as she questioned her own thoughts on life and etc, and Jaheira doesn't deal well with being so uncertain.

But she would think Karlach is so damn precious. Someone she would fiercely protect. Someone she would get emotional with how bad she would wish Karlach to keep on living against all the odds.

If Jaheira was angry, Karlach would be able to reach through her spikes so easily. Jaheira would just melt and give in each time and then be grumpy about it.

She would secretly be touch starved for more of Karlach's tenderness. She would melt for Karlach's soft romantic words despite so often rolling her eyes at such poetic language. She would smile about it when no one else was looking.

ANYWAY, I could go on for a very long time.

But yes, young Jaheira would be very easily charmed by Karlach and have the biggest soft spot for her, even the dorkiness.

Just, a really good match right there.

#jaheira #bg3 #karlach #jaheira x karlach #jaheira x tav #THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK #nobody is gonna read this lmao #BUT I HAVE THOUGHTS!!#obviously these thoughts would apply to an OC with similar personality too

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dracoangel · 8 months

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I was finally able to finish the game today, would have finished yesterday but yesterday I had issues with my PC locking up and games crashing (games being BG3 and FFXIV) with a DX11 error. Didn't get fixed until today. Idk how or why it started, but hopefully it's fixed.

Anyway.

So the final battle/end game choices:

I freed Orpheus, thus "betraying" The Emperor who threw a hissy fit.

Karlach became an Illithid. It was the only outcome I could think of that didn't end up with her death or going back to Avernus.

Had Karlach destroy the Elder Brain.

I let Lae'zel go to fight with her people. She finally got to ride her own red dragon, like she always wanted.

Had Gale give the Crown of Karsus to Mythra.

My poor Astarion getting fried in the sun 😭 And of course I chose to stay with him ❤

WHO THE HELL IS WITHERS?!

Thoughts and feelings about the end:

I was annoyed with bugs, specifically dialogue bugs:

The first time I went and had Karlach change I had The Emperor do it, instead of Orpheus. When I released Orpheus I got dialogue of him accusing me of killing Lae'zel; no Laezel was very much alive literally standing right behind me in the scene. Ultimately I had to wait to change Karlach by Orpheus instead The Emperor to get the proper dialogue.

When we came out of the Astral Plane and met up with our allies they were acknowledging me as if I was the one that became a Illithid.

Overall the end fight was decent. Act 3 definitely needs some work, hopefully Larion fixes it up and fixes those ending dialogue bugs. I'm very happy with the game, Act 1 and 2 were great and even though Act 3 needs some work, it was still enjoyable - especially the companion quests (well, most of them at least). I'm going to be playing again, hopefully my main character and eventually I want to do an evil playthrough (if I can, I struggle to do evil characters. I dont like being mean to the pixel people 🤣 But I wanna try). I want to do full romances with at least Gale, Wyll and Halsin. I'm hopefully going to be doing a multiplayer run with my husband when we can afford to get him the game (it may be a while unfortunately, but eventually we will) So I'm going to be playing this game at least 6 more times 🤣🤣🤣 Thinking about it, my main probably wont be until the end after I experience all the romances to be able to choose which will be my "main" romance (*prays I can avoid going back to Astarion*).

I'm so happy I took a chance with this game. The story was good, the characters amazing, the game just overall beautiful. It was a rough start with the turn base fighting but it was worth it.

#end of game #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #draco plays bg3

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something-pithy · 5 months

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Notes and an Update: Astarion, Tav, and Trauma in Stories

Pictured above: actual footage of trauma response from Astarion (j/k! kinda!) to catch your eye :D

Hey glittercats and cosmic kittens!

So I've definitely been neglecting the updates here, which I'm going to try to do better with.

We're up to Chapter 11 on this bad boy, and I've adjusted the anticipated chapter count to 30 (but honestly it's probably still all lies because I have absolutely no sense of how much writing each point on my outline ends up being loool).

I have a DOPE beta who's fucking amazing both in terms of conventions and idea partnership and I'm telling you right now, this story is so much better for having their hands and eyes on it.

SOME CONTENT WARNING STUFF RE: THIS CHAPTER:

Alcohol use disorder (AUD) and symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

MORE DETAILS ON THIS -- SPOILERS AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

So hopefully that's enough room for people who don't want to be spoiled to escape!

So I'm going to copy/paste the end note on the story, and expand on it a little bit.

So, although Tav is a "good drunk," as Frank Gallagher might put it, she is 1000% engaging in pretty serious substance abuse, or to be more specific in this chapter, alcohol use disorder. I'm not going to go into the way this story is going to approach mental and behavioral health disorders and trauma; hopefully it will speak for itself. Suffice it to say substance abuse and trauma are not the central subject of this story, but also, Astarion and Tav as they exist in this little pocket dimension of the BG3 universe have been impacted by the trauma they've each experienced both together and as individuals. In general, the impact of trauma can look and feel a lot of ways. Sometimes it's horrifying, sometimes it's heartbreaking, sometimes it's rage-inducing - but let's be honest, sometimes that shit is funny, too, because humor is such an incredible survival tactic / coping mechanism. Even if sometimes we're laughing at shit that shouldn't be funny. (Maybe especially then.) This story isn't going to be an after-school special or a PSA. It's a story about people, and sometimes people are fucked up (literally and figuratively). Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now. If this has activated you, or you have earnest questions or concerns about what's going on in this story / with these characters, or you just want to shoot the shit, hit me up on my tumblr. There might be more notes there on this eventually, but for now, this chapter actually took a lot out of me and I'm still out here with these perpetual COVID symptoms, so... lol NOT TONIGHT. As always, thank y'all for reading, kudosing, and commenting.

OK, so I may have lied about the no notes part... but honestly, in re-reading that note, I think it kind of gets to the point.

But ALSO...

I've been a geek on the internet for a long, long time. I've engaged with different fan-based writing and roleplaying communities (tabletop, chat-based, forum-based, butt-based -- EVERYTHING) for pretty much the entire time.

"The Tragic Backstory" seems like it's been A Whole Thing since people started creating characters whether for roleplay or stories.

I think times have changed somewhat, but back in the day I ran in circles where a lot of thoughts about writing, creating characters, roleplay, etc. coexisted somewhat peacefully, but an old chestnut that consistently (maybe without fail) turned up in any conversation that involved Writers of Quality was a contingent of folks who had deep disdain for The Tragic Backstory.

I'm talkin' some deep, scathing, elitist shit, my beautiful people.

And I'm not gonna lie to you! This is approximately ten thousand years ago (no but seriously, decades), and honestly, I was up in those conversations, too, throwing around my disdain, assured by my fellow elitists that even though I frequently employed some form of Tragic Backstory, it was OK when I did it because it was good.

I mean in retrospect, it's kinda bullshit. There's always gonna somebody who's gonna think your shit's good, and there's also always gonna be somebody who thinks they're a Better Writer Than You who's gonna think your shit is... well, shit.

Not gonna lie, I still have very strong and particular preferences when it comes to the fic I read in general, and that includes backstory.

But over time, I got progressively less insecure (not just about my writing, but in general) and consequently less concerned with judging writing that's not my flavor as "bad" or "shitty" or "juvenile" (looool seriously, I was a dick) and more concerned with finding and creating writing that is my flavor.

However, and I don't think I'm going to apologize for it, some dickish tendencies linger in my soul. I'm going to try and frame these thoughts in terms of what compels me in a story I'm reading and what I do (or try to do) in my own writing.

This is a very long way of saying if something I say (or have already said) makes you feel like I'm coming for your neck, please know that I'm not.

My thoughts and/or opinions may cause you or someone you love to feel Some Type of Way. That is not my intention. I have no desire to:

Yuck anyone's yum

Contribute to or activate the crippling self-doubt that plagues almost every creative I've ever met

Be a dick.

Having said all that, I do have Thoughts on This Matter.

People write for a lot of reasons, but I'm fairly convinced that nobody's doing it with any level of purity. There are tons of incredible, beautiful, moving stories that feature a whole-ass Self-Insert, maybe even the dreaded Mary Sue.

(lol lookin' at you Dante's Inferno, Tyrion Lannister from A Song of Ice and Fire, and countless others lol)

People write to explore topics and themes that interest them, that compel them, that they see recurring in the world around them and/or their own lives.

One of those things is trauma.

In my writing, I approach trauma, disordered behaviors, dysfunction, dysregulated emotions, etc. (topics both of great interest to me and, not coincidentally, ones with which I have a great deal of personal experience) from a place of wanting fervently to tell the truth.

And I'm pretty good writing some things that feel true.

But I know that in some ways, I've shied away from harder truths; from using my writing and the characters I create not only as reflections of what I see in the world, but as accurate (rather than idealized) reflections of myself.

Because of this, while I've explored redemption arcs in roleplaying games (where being cheesy or facile or juvenile or fulfilling personal fantasies felt much safer than on a page), I've skirted neatly around it, I think, in my writing (for the most part). Because I absolutely was the girl who wanted to "save" or "fix" the wounded (and emotionally unavailable, and/or abusive, and/or toxic) lover. I wanted stories about it. I wanted to roll around in that narrative, bathe in it, eat it up for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

All while occupying the role/perspective of The Good One / The Good Girl whether in a game or in a story I was consuming.

But it's not the truth. Not the whole truth, at least. Not for me, anyway.

My admiration, respect, regard, and all the other good words for the writing and acting in Baldur's Gate 3 cannot be overstated. Each of the "origin" characters (and honestly, any character "Tav" has the opportunity to even have a conversation with, much less spend a significant amount of time with) is thoughtfully and truthfully written. I see this more in some than others, but that depth and breadth of understanding about human beings -- sorry, sentient beings -- shows up all over the place and honestly I almost can't stand how much I love it.

I'm not going to say that there's no character I feel this as deeply with as Astarion, but... idk, sometimes.

But there's no need to quantify this. Astarion is one of a number of characters from the game that I'm low-key obsessed with.

As such, when I decided to take on the story outcome in which, in my opinion, he throws all the growth, all the processing, all the truth and reconciliation I saw him moving toward in the game into a fucking woodchipper, I did not want it to be easy.

I get wanting it to be easy, and there are delicious, delicious fics out there that go this route. I think anybody who writes Ascendant Astarion at least flirts with it.

And it's not a binary; it's not either, "OMG this is completely uncomplicated, I love you I'm your spawn and it's just like if you hadn't ascended except your SUPER EXTRA POWERFUL AND SEXY AND HOT AND WHOOPS THERE GO MY PANTIES" (which, tbh... lool I'm not mad at) or "ASTARION IS IRREDEEMABLE LET ME WRITE OF HIS TRAGIC DEMISE AND TAV'S TRAGIC WITNESS TO IT / ENGINEERING OF IT." Which I'm ALSO not mad at, because THOSE THINGS CAN BE TRUE.

But while I'm subscribed to some stories that follow those paths or ones like them, and when I get that notification it's time to STOP THE PRESSES bc mama needs to READ, for me the challenge of this is if I'm going to continue Astarion and Tav's love story (or rekindle it lol), I want to honor the four years of intense character work Neil Newbon and Stephen Rooney and honestly the whole goddamn BG3 team from soup to nuts have done by considering "What would really happen here" as brutally as possible.

Komo, my incredible thought partner-cum-beta, can tell you about the pages of back and forth between us about "fml, how can we make this story work and maintain fidelity to the integrity* of these characters???? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

*not personal integrity -- meta shit. The integrity of their arcs, development, personalities, histories, traumas, etc.

SO. Back to trauma.

I said in my end note for chapter 11 that this story is not an after-school special (which looool probably at least some of you are like wtf are you talking about my dude and I'm like looooool omg life before kids were a whole target demographic unto themselves - kind of lol) or a PSA.

Which alludes to the fact that YES, I want to tell the truth about the ugliness of this relationship and the individuals in it with nuance and empathy and sensitivity; that I want to write about the pain and harm and longing and ache and all of it in ways that are neither hyperbolic nor diminishing.

But also, look, my darling motherfuckers, my comrades in fuckery, whoever's made it this far into this rambling monster of a -- whatever the fuck this is lool -- PEOPLE WHO HAVE TRAUMA ALSO HAVE FUN.

SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ENGAGING IN BEHAVIORS THAT ARE DESTRUCTIVE TO THEMSELVES AND/OR OTHERS.

I don't think I've sufficiently unpacked this part to dig down much deeper into it, but what I will say is that this is not going to be a passion play about Poor Tav or Drugs Are Bad, Mmkay? or anything else.

What this is going to be (or at least, what I passionately want it to be) is -- framed with a delicious little fake-dating muffin of an emotional MacGuffin -- a portrait of some people in all (or lordt jebus please let me achieve at least MOST) of their complexity.

ALL OF IT.

Lordt Baby Jebus, Allah, Milal, Great Spaghetti Monster, ANYBODY

(not Lolth lol)

hear my prayer!

Aight, that's all I've got for today. <3

If you made it this far, PM me and tell me something you want to see in the story! I'll make you a treat.

And if it don't fit in the story, I might be able to make a li'l drabble happen.

COMING SOON to Writing Notes Storytime:

Identity in this story and in stories in general

The Good, the Bad, and the Neutral: Alignment and Astarion (and some other ppl, too!) in BG3, DnD, and This Story lol

Stuff I'm forgetting bc I'm STILL not over this never-ending COVID fuckery

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tripleyeeet · 7 months

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*checking in my crew* WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE EPISODE DIDN'T AIR YESTERDAY??? *quickly put on the suit and grabs the microphone*

HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME BACK TO TUESDAY INTERVIEW

I'm your host Annie and today I'm once again here with the spectacular, the stunning, the sublime Summer!!!! Let me hear your appreciation, everyone!!!!

*standing ovation from the everywhere*

First and foremost, I must apologise for the late release of this Tuesday Interview, but we had some technical issues (aka Tumblr eat the ask like Gale eats his artifacts)

Anyway, Summer! I've heard that you've not only opened your commissions but some people have already commissioned you some delicious fics! How do you feel about this? Is writing commissions as you expected?

Onto another topic, I would like to remind everyone that in 4 DAYS the first part of "Curse You" will see the light of day, so you better stay tuned for some good old fashioned enemies to lovers with our lovely vampire Astarion and Summer's amazing OC, Zayis!! Anything you want to add on this Summer? A warning for the public, perhaps?

And before we go, Summer, what were you thoughts on the BG3 DnD one shot that recently aired? What were your favourite moments?

rip the og ask :') classic tumblr never working the way it should!!

glad we figured that out sooner rather than later. would hate to deprive the people of tuesday interview with bard annie. (it's me, i'm people, i love tuesday interview with bard annie.)

to answer your questions though, in regards to commissions i am very excited! i was a bit hesitant at first because i already write a lot for free. for a while i kind of felt like a jerk asking for money but then i realized that i work really hard and if someone just so happens to want to pay me for something cool who am i to say no???

that being said, everyone's been really nice and supportive and i hope people continue to commission me because i think it'll inevitably help with my writing skills in the long run?

moving onto curse you though i literally!! i'm very very very nervous to release her out into the wild. it's been a while since i've posted oc fics because i'm pretty critical of my own character building sometimes but i'm trying to get better! because i know it'll be fine and everyone will be nice and just... it's gonna be fine, right?

anyway, yeah i'm just excited. i don't really know what else to add other than i hope people enjoy zayis because she's my baby.

and also yes, sort of. i've caught the main highlights of both episodes and am currently fully half way through the first (i'm so bad at watching long form videos sometimes) and loving it. in terms of my favourite part i'd probably say all the clips i've seen of bing bong have been hilarious. i just love the idea of shadowheart and lae'zel failing to co-parent this poor little creature. also, gale's spa day obviously!!!

#tuesday interviews #with bard annie!!

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rottenbrainstuff · 5 days

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BG3 playthrough - THE END

I finished my run a few days ago actually - I’ve been letting it simmer in my noggin for a bit. I made myself a fancy dinner with a nice dessert and a bottle of wine, and I sat down and officially finished my run. Spoilers:

So I left off right after I gathered my allies. Heading in to the big courtyard fight, there is an insight check to be able to convince the fleeing city watch that they should fight with you. Nothing I could do could make me pass that check. I realize that I RP my tav as being pretty wise, but his wisdom is actually quite low. I checked my party to see who would be the best to attempt to roll this and was shocked to see that ASTARION was in fact the wisest in my group. Party of dumbasses. His wisdom was 14 but even that wasn’t high enough to get the check, I couldn’t pass it and got tired of reloading. OH WELL.

For that big courtyard fight - I was quickly feeling overwhelmed by the size of the area and the amount of enemies. The allies are nice, but you can only summon one every turn. I wasn’t feeling very good. Then I got the idea to send Astarion through by himself, with his amazing dark urge invisibility cape that he’s had since the beginning of act one, and had him run around picking off one-shotable enemies to make things a bit more manageable. It all reminded me a bit of the way back at the grove siege, when I also had him invisible and by himself in the middle of the fray. It was so hilarious watching him run around and pick things off one dude at a time, watch everyone else come rushing in all concerned, but no one able to do a thing about it. He got a really good chunk whittled down before he somehow got spotted, and then the real fight began.

I think this is the one big area where you’re supposed to bring out all the allies… there actually really aren’t too many other opportunities after this. I didn’t summon anyone for the run up the stairs because I assumed the NPC AI wouldn’t be smart enough to stay out of the nautiloid targeting, and the enemies weren’t challenging anyway. I might reload the courtyard fight and play a bit more with it and see what happens when you call more allies. The only ones I ended up calling were the hellriders - I tried the harpers cause someone said they were good here, but damn they have such low HP and they spawn in such a terrible area? The hellriders were a bit more durable. Plus yay - fighting with Zevlor again! And he’s got his paladin spells back!

While Astarion was doing his sneaky murder job, I had the rest of my party hidden in a corner. Once he was spotted, I had everyone run out and join the fight. I realized once the fight was completely over that I had forgot all about Gale, and he stayed hidden in the corner the whole time. Coward!

Big ol’ brain fight - this was so hard and yet somehow easier than I thought it would be as well? Somehow my summoned deva who almost never fucking lands his hit EVER actually landed a smite on the dragon and managed to make it afraid and wow that made a HUGE DIFFERENCE.

SO the dream guardians appear here, if you didn’t ally with the Emperor - so - this was a neat IDEA - I am actually absolutely fascinated with the act 1 dream guardian setup, just the whole concept of this character and how it’s introduced, helpful but also threatening, seductive and also dangerous. I like the idea that each other companion is also being visited by a version tailored specifically to their own desires. And… I feel like the ball as kind of dropped after that. I think after the second encounter, the companions no longer comment at all on the Guardian? Is it still appearing to them? Is it now focusing in only on Tav? Similarly I wish they had stronger reactions when the guardians appear - I feel like it should be compromising to have to face this comfort character in battle. And, why doesn’t the Emperor include your own dream guardian? Like, there are four of them, and none of them were mine, so there’s one here who is an odd man out. It would have been absolutely fucking devastating for me to have to attack my own guardian that I personalized myself and was really attracted to, why did the game miss the opportunity to include that? Myeh. Oh well.

Hm - I just did a google - it seems that the three female guardians are always the same no matter which companions are in your party (unfortunate), and then it sounds as though, for the fourth one, some players are indeed seeing their actual guardian? They are claiming to, anyway. I definitely didn’t - my guardian IS a male tiefling, but mine was a different male tiefling from the one that showed up in the fight. A wiki also says the guardians at the end are not personalized. Interesting? What did you guys see in that fight?

Hey, how do you even get the crown, in the end? I played normally, killed the gross brain, and the crown automatically splashed down into the sea, which suits me fine, but I’m wondering how Gale even gets it to become his silver surfer variant. Do you have to send him up by himself to blow up, then change your mind and take the crown instead? Or something?

We have our big goodbye scene on the docks - I mean I’ve seen this all before, but somehow it hits different when it’s playing on my big computer screen. Huh. I DO agree with you all this time, the game IS pretty cavalier about Astarion’s fate. I know that I’ll see him later on because I’m romancing him, but damn, if I’m not, that’s the last anyone sees of him until the epilogue party, and it makes me sad to think about. I do like his explanation later at the party that he ran because he felt ashamed, this was supposed to be everyone’s big victory moment and here he was suddenly on fire. I find that on brand for him. I just wish everyone had expressed a little concern…

The Epilogue Party: aw, what a nice addition Larian made. I can’t imagine the game just ending at the docks - it would feel so unsatisfying! It was really really nice to have this little denouement moment just to chat with each of them and hear what they’ve been up to, and each one has something so nice to say, it all made me tear up, second time in the game. Each one seems like they’re doing so well now. Shadowheart is enjoying a nice quiet life with her parents as they all deserve, Gale is a teacher, Karlach and Wyll sound like they’re having such a wild adventure, Lae’zel is brokering a historic partnership and said she learned the value of diplomacy from me, Halsin has settled down and is running an orphanage, Jaheira is fussing over her kids. And then Minsc. LMAO so I was wondering who the heck the random dude was by the banquet table, perhaps the caterer? But he seems…… frightened??? And it turns out it’s some random thief that Minsc has been trying to scare straight, who he has, for some reason, brought along with him to the party, lol.

The letters were so nice. It made me so happy to read them. I was… just a little disappointed that Mayrina didn’t mention anything about Kled… maybe she still needs a little time to get over the loss of her husband. I still stubbornly think they will end up together in the future. It was nice to have a letter explaining what Zevlor has been up to, an actual explanation for how he ended up at the battle in act 3.

You know though, I feel like I wish there were more letters. I wish there was one from Thrombo, I wish there was one from Omeluum and Blerg, I know we had the newspaper clipping about Rolan but a letter would have been nice - maybe a funny little story of something weird he found in the tower… would have been nice to hear from Isobel and Aylin, would have been nice to hear more about the city rebuilding from Ulder, I know Barcus talked a little but it would have been nice to have a letter directly from the Gondians, but… most of all, I wish I had more letters from the Tiefling refugees. And just a bigger wrap up with them in general.

I know apparently some players just don’t like them that much, but sorry, I can’t relate - I got very emotionally invested in their story, instantly, and to me, Baldur’s Gate 3 has been specifically about following them on their travels and helping them reach the city. I’m glad to see Rolan settled, I’m glad to read articles about Bex and Danis getting the cafe they wanted, Dammon’s note to Karlach is ABSOLUTELY FREAKING ADORABLE, but man I NEED an update from Cerys, I want to know that everyone is safe and settled. (maybe even that she’s got in contact with Zevlor and they’re trying to patch things up??) I want a letter from Mattis that is just an advertising brochure for an actual shop that he’s set up. I want a letter from Mol saying that she forgives me for killing for patron or something. Doni wrote a letter that you can find in act 1 - I don’t know if this was an oversight - if it’s not, I desperately wish I could have had a letter from him as well. I want a letter from Umi and Ide because they were making me worried in act 3, I want to know how they’re all doing, and if Umi ended up liking his pottery class. Etc Etc Etc.

That’s maybe just me. I was always 100% about the tieflings.

Anyways, I got all the letters it’s possible to get in a good run, but I noticed I was missing a letter from Sebastian, which made me wonder what I did wrong. As far as I know, I did everything I was supposed to? It should have triggered??? And then I realized… Sebastian’s letter talks about how all the freed spawn went into the underdark, how many of them died, some of them just disappeared, and the rest were gathered by Astarion’s spawn siblings and they now live in some ruins.

The reason I didn’t get his letter is because I chose the underdark option when Astarion was asking what we should do next. So, we’re probably in direct contact with Sebastian all the time! We’re the ones who gathered up the spawn, and we don’t need updates, because we’ve been right there for the past six months. I’m glad I figured it out, I liked Sebastian and I was sad not to have the letter I thought was coming.

Tara reminds me of my cat. She was so funny at the party, grumbling about being more comfortable in Gale’s mom’s sitting room. Loved watching her pounce around in camp. If my cat could talk, I think she’d talk like Tara.

And then they all mentioned how they should keep in touch and do this again soon. That hurt my heart. So bittersweet. Being in my 40s, having gone through several different friend groups now… I know……..

They will not keep in touch. They will want to, and they will even try for a while, but in the end they will go their separate ways. It just is not possible to sustain friendships over a large amount of time and space when everyone is doing something so different, when the only thing you have in common now are the things you did in the past. If there’s nothing going forward that brings you together besides that old nostalgia… like… inevitably that’s what happens, sooner or later, that’s just how it works.

And I mean that maybe sounds sad as hell but… somehow it’s also just… one of those bittersweet things that’s also ok. Like death and change. It’s inevitable and it’s sad but it’s also how things go. To me, thinking about that wasn’t like, upsetting and horrible, it was just kind of… wistful. Like aaaah… these “we should get together more often!” conversations, yes, I remember those, so many of those conversations, and then at some point that “we should get together more often!” line becomes the last thing you ever say to that person, because you never see them again. Yep, I know what that’s like.

At least that’s how I interpret it, like I said, being in my 40s and having had this happen over and over and over to me multiple times. Maybe that’s me bringing doom and gloom into something that was supposed to be positive, like my interpretation of the ending of Whisper of the Heart that made my kids sad… just ignore me I guess.

After that is a HALF HOUR OF CREDITS. I know because I sat there and let the whole thing play. I’m going to assume that normal, not-insane people did not do that, so I’ll let you know, first of all it was amazing to see just how many people worked on this game, and then second, a good portion of the credits were thank you messages from various staff to their loved ones, and that was very sweet to read. A large number staff thanked their cats, so I think we all know where the BG3 love of cats comes from.

And after that… I felt legit sad, guys. I’ve been playing this playthrough for about seven months. I really got emotionally invested with my tav, and all their relationships, and all the NPCs and their little stories. I know the game is still here any time I want to start it up again. In fact I have a second tav already ready to go, one that I made months ago but decided to put on hold so I could focus on my main tav. It’s not going to be the same, though. I’ll play my backup tav, and I’d like to play an Astarion origin and see what happens if I make realistic choices, but… is it weird that I would totally, 100% replay this exact tav sometime? Like, just, the exact same stuff all over again?

I’m bummed to be done. Legit bummed. Happy, entertained, amazed, grateful, satisfied, and because I was so thoroughly emotionally invested, I am also bummed. What a great game, how lucky I am to have the chance to play it.

I’m actually going to make one last (?) post a little bit later, ruminating on some more thoughts and my favourite little moments from the game. And this weekend I am attending my city’s comic expo, where I’m hopefully going to get Neil Newbon’s autograph so that’s exciting! To the one or two people who actually read these things I write, lol, thanks for following along.

#bg3 #bg3 playthrough #baldur’s gate 3

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