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5h4rk1zzl3 · 3 years

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mmmm im tryna avoid binging rn and am bored and we know how tht leads to it soooooo im gonna do all 30 days in one post :)

day 1- idk the exact tbh. dont have a weigh scale at my house bc everyone else is naturally skinny but me, im gonna try and buy one soon tho.

day 2- around 5'4 ehhh im not terribly mad about it but i definitely would prefer to be taller.

day 3- a pic of my thinspiration and why:

i really like how their shoulders are boney & the skinny limbs & the slight abs omg & the collar bones AHHHH

day 4- tbhhh i have quite a few fears:

-i wont look how i wanna look at my ugw

-stretch marks wont fade enough & will still be just as bad when im skinny

-saggy skin :/ im loosing around 60 lbs so i think that might happen idk tho

-people wont even realize i lost weight??? idk i feel like ppl arent even gonna realize for some reason bc i only wear all baggy clothes anyways idk makes no sense cos u can still tell but whtever

-ppl will still view me as the fat sister.... uh idk i just always have been it and i feel like ill still be viewed as it even when im skinny

-ill gain it all back ¿¿ kinda cliche but it already happened to me and i dont wanna let it happen it time.

day 5- yeah im doing it for myself mostly but theres alotta reasons like the main one being i used to be skinny and was so much happier and more comfortable then... but theres alotta smaller reasons like maybe get more (good) attention, get praise from ppl, can wear better clothes, idk not feel so insecure

day 6- yeahhhhhhhhh uhhh i think mostly it happens when i get mad and then i cant help myself :| i gotta work on that but ive been pretty good with it for the past 2 months actually i have binged a fee times but each time i worked out enough to kinda even it out i feel like (if tht even makes sense)

day 7- yeah but they think im doing it healthily because i lie abt my cals

day 8-mostly running on a treadmill

day 9- uhmmm no not rlly besides my parents... actually yeah maybe some of my exes friends :|

day 10- time tbh... the amount of time i spend working out is insane im so behind on all my fkn school work

day 11- idk i dont rlly keep track of blogs i kinda use pinterest for thinspo mostly

day 12-alot of string beans, strawberries & tht 45 calorie toast

day 13- its been pretty healthy because i wanted to avoid going down a spiral again. (eating 1500 working out for 1.5 hours) but im seeing no results and i been doing this for 2 months and now i feel myself starting to slip. ive been eating under 500 for the past week and starting to work out for 2-4 hours a day

day 14- 95, idk i was supposed to reach it by the end of july but now i think it may take alot longer :/

day 15- no

day 16- 2 months ago i used to be pretty skinny march of 2020 and then covid happened and i gained like 40 lbs in a year and now i wanna get back down

day 17- idk?????? sometimes i think i do but no im not diagnosed, like last year i used adderall to loose weight and idk if that counts as one but i wish i could do tht again but cant get my hands on any

day 18- bagels omg. so high in cals. so yummy. like i cant afford it bc ONE is 290 cals and then i always put butter so another 80 (relatively low cal butter)

day 19- its actually been a while so i had to check the door dash app lol. but may 1st i ordered popeyes :,) mostly for my family

day 20- none. i dont diet i just count calories

day 21- idk?????? i wear xlarge hoodies & sweats everyday

day 22-i think around 120, covid and a mix of my bf breaking up wm caused me to be super depressed and i gained sm up to 170

day 23- yeah i wanna look like all the perfect ppl i see

day 24- i dont like it like idk why ppl would be pro why would u wish it upon anyone.

day 25- yeahhhhhhhhh i did before but i learned now not to because it honestly doesnt get rid of all the calories & leaves u hungrier but i did a year ago

day 26- TBHHHHH having sex again LMAOO i havent since i got fat bc im too insecure

day 27- not well :|

day 28- YES. my mom & sister both have it and i want it SO BAD. i didnt even have it a year ago when i was at my lowest weight which is so annoying

day 29- sebastian stan😍😍😍😍😍LMAOOOOOO

day 30- 10 facts ab me

1- im scared of driving a car LMAOO

2- total insomniac

3- can run a 5 min mile (at 0 incline tho)

4- read ALOT

5- obsessed w marvel

6- in love w sebastian stan :,)

7- love jetskiing

8- gonna move to nyc in a year

9- love coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

10- currently am failing 4/6 of my classes

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Carly & Ali

Carly: last nite was good of you Carly: saying thanks cuz i read my text from last nite & it was Carly: I cudnt read it k thats facts Ali: nah, don't mention it, no bitch left behind Ali: plus, I know the cunt doing the ditching, been there, like Ali: was trying to translate but yeah, you were pretty fucked 😂 Ali: how you feeling this am? 💚 Carly: yea? hes not that bad Carly: im a slag like he said tbh Carly: feeling like i had a decent nite all things considered Carly: you? Ali: Gurl, yes he is and no you ain't! Ali: Probably Ali: Who cares if you are, he is, and the rest Ali: I dated him for a bit, so there's no shady, tryna steal your man on the sly going on, don't worry Ali: much the same, my head feels like someone took my eyes out and shoved 'em up my arse, you know? Ali: standard sunday vibes Carly: aw you're sweet but it's no diss on me Carly: like ive cheated on him a few times Carly: but he does it too you're right w that Carly: hes a good fuck when he's not too wasted tho which you kno if you got it too Carly: you're single now tho? Carly: can have him back if you want Ali: Fair play Ali: why not call it open and call it a day? Ali: Probs 'cos he likes fighting as much as he likes fucking Ali: Meh, yeah, was passable, gotta have some reason to keep him around, like Ali: Nah, going out with the girl that drove us back Ali: Remember? Dark hair, angry Carly: yea Carly: you know Carly: shit my bad Carly: she was scary is what i've got in my head Carly: idk my head is sketch cant trust it Ali: That's a fair assessment, I reckon Ali: She wouldn't hate it either so you good 😉 Carly: pretty tho Carly: call it a trade up Ali: Yeah, she's cute Ali: you need any more of the night filling in lemme know, I'll do my best Ali: it was pretty standard though, nothing too wild Carly: no faking it w her cuz shes too drunk Carly: designated driver be like Carly: last i see i was getting with his friend lowkey and he went off about it im blank from then Ali: its a fucking gay crime to ever fake it, no matter what Ali: I can get behind that one tho, not got the time or energy tbh Ali: yeah i think him and his friend then got in a scrap and then they left Ali: bros before hoes mentality hardcore, like idk, have fun jerking each other off then, if that's ur vibe boys Carly: k that sounds legit from what i caught on his socials Carly: didnt upload the circle jerk bless Carly: gay crimes must of been committed Ali: sad face Ali: coulda spat on his back Ali: protip Carly: ill let him know when he texts me later Carly: how did you kno where i live? state of me Carly: sorry to drag you this way Ali: plottwist, i'm a massive stalker with bad intentions Ali: I truly don't know, but I'll tell Lene she should be a cabbie 'cos she managed and I don't think we got any puke in her car Carly: k big lesbian crush on me yea Carly: ioher lots Carly: stealing her girl and wrecking her car in one Ali: Naturally, you cute Ali: I'll give you her number if you like, or just pass along the thanks and soz Carly: awh you're cuter Carly: probs still drunk tho Carly: giving me those kind words Carly: you handle the now ex if you love me Ali: Hahaha, he'd LOVE that Ali: ghosts of gf past Ali: Let me and I'll love you forever Carly: go for it Ali: let's see if I've still got his number Ali: this contact list is a minefield of mistakes but the real embarrassment would be getting them muddled up, fo'shame! Carly: i can give it Carly: used it more recently than you Carly: up there at my top Ali: won't be tellin' him that Ali: don't need the ego boost Ali: but tah Carly: makes it more fun to fuck him over if you praise him first Carly: but maybe thats me Ali: like a shit sandwich Ali: I get it Carly: hungry for anything but that rn Carly: [Sends the number tho] Ali: wanna come for brunch Ali: now you are newly gay Ali: that's what they do, fucking sex in the city up in dis bitch Carly: yea? weird Carly: not what i thought Carly: awh first date tho Ali: forreal, even the butch ones, don't let 'em fool you, its all fancy fucking eggs and screwdrivers by 11am Ali: you call 'em mimosas tho, gotta pretend you're being classy Carly: wtf is a screwdriver Ali: Babe! Ali: Vodka and orange juice Carly: i call it that Carly: gays and their labels Ali: save it for the rant sesh honey Ali: love you talking about how men ain't shit as well Carly: thats the ones i fuck Carly: cant be bringing no poshos to a caravan Ali: Posh boys are only good for the money anyway, I'm sure Ali: not finding any in 24 like regardless Carly: not gonna find out if they do drive by now im a lesbian wife Carly: sorry lads Ali: they had their chance Ali: unlucky boys Carly: should prob tell me your name again if im taking it Ali: Ruins the mystery a bit but alright Ali: Its Ali Ali: Ali McKenna if we're being formal Carly: k you've got the hot brothers Carly: makes sense Ali: 🤔 Ali: I think you're thinking of someone else, babe Carly: not trying to have our first fight but you coulda told me before we got hitched, bitch Carly: you're still hot tho don't be sad Ali: so you could run off with one of my brothers? i think not Ali: unless you meant Tommy 'cos he's very single but that's unlikely because he's never here Ali: stuck with me for now, hoe 😘 Carly: a slag like me could do worse Carly: has Ali: bitch, same Ali: we can compare notes, see how many regrets we got in common Carly: yea Carly: doing it Ali: Good, save it for brunch 'cos I'm coming forreal Ali: we don't have to deal with a gaggle of gossiping gays tho, bring you a maccies breakfast? Carly: k Carly: be fun Carly: you are from what i remember Ali: I like that Ali: No bullshit Ali: Imma start all interactions like be fun please or I'm out Ali: ✌ bringing the fun and the bacon babe Carly: you're not bringing your gf are you Ali: Nah, how awkward, meet the missus, honey Carly: like there's usually a lad in my trio sorry Carly: still learning this lesbian life Ali: oh, are you bi legit? Ali: she's way too jealous for threesomes, you're good Carly: nah i just know what lads want Ali: Oh gurl Ali: that's why Lene ain't coming Ali: the lecture you're avoiding Carly: idc Carly: youre my wife now bitch Ali: 💍💍 Ali: Productive morning, if I do say so myself Ali: and we're hanging, fuck with us Carly: good influence of you cuz i havent done fuck all this week Ali: Hard work being a bi icon, babe Ali: wait 'til I get you on the yoga hype Carly: wtf Carly: is that a joke Ali: nah, I've already done half an hour this morning Carly: bitch i had my fingers crossed you mistyped yogurt Carly: i love you but its a no Ali: 😂 lets be really into yogurt, not fancy stuff, like fucking froobs Carly: phallic Carly: slurping on my dick shaped yogurt Ali: exactly Ali: what do men love more than a representation of their genitals shoved in your mouth? nothing, is the answer, bar the real thing Ali: so seductive Carly: they don't like food in bed tho, but maybe thats my technique Carly: thinking you could use whatever Carly: k just gonna dump this curry out yea bear with Ali: spicy Ali: imagine the yeast infection you'd get from a fromage frais Carly: like sorry but if i can handle cum in my eye you can deal with some saag aloo boy Carly: googling those symptoms would be a laff tho Ali: ugh, now i want indian Carly: date 2, babe Ali: 😍 Ali: this is all moving so fast Ali: 'bout it Carly: thats all i kno about lesbians k Ali: Its so true Ali: Can confirm Carly: is your gf gonna be mad that im flirting with you Carly: cuz im scrappy but she's scary Ali: 😂 Ali: Probably but when I tell her you're straight she'll have to chill Ali: yeah, we're married BUT SHE'S STRAIGHT, BABE Carly: can't tell her how many girls ive fucked cuz i dont remember Carly: convenient Ali: Best keep that on the DL, yeah Ali: like your blatant gay feelings for me Carly: k Carly: been a secret before no big Ali: Awh babe, ain't nothing dirty about this Ali: I shall tell the world Carly: you're sweet Ali: Probably not if you still wanna be getting that D but you know, noblest intentions, like Carly: im over it Carly: go off Ali: when your pussy's the cure Ali: how can I be humble now? 😏 Carly: dont be Carly: proud slags who fucking love froobs Carly: its a mood Ali: that is a whole ass mood Ali: put it on a t-shirt, babe Carly: earn some bread for my table Ali: solid business plan Ali: we can't be the only ones Carly: independent women who don't need no dick Carly: anymore Ali: hell yeah! Ali: unless that dick wanna pay the bills, in which case we'll let 'em Ali: so we can get more froobs Carly: point Ali: oh no, someone put a pic of Molly Briggs vomming on Insta Ali: 1. gross 2. who hasn't been there, poor bitch Carly: sad Carly: hope she's alright Ali: I'd ask but don't really know her and her phone must already be blowing up Ali: plus she threw a netball right in my face once and I don't forget, bitch Ali: jk, I'll just report the pic 😂 Carly: they all call me a whore cba to keep track of which mollys or other bitches Ali: She is a bit of a bitch, ain't gonna sugarcoat it so probably Ali: not saying Karmas real but posted on that friggin' TallaghtSlags page so 🤷 Ali: grab a froob, darling Carly: her name makes me wanna party with her dad but thats as far as im fucking with that family Carly: or mum i dont know who picked it like Ali: Init, proper old skool ravers, obvs Ali: think I'm out of eccies, sadly Ali: last night depleted me Carly: Watch me call my son Bennie cos I got anxiety, baby Ali: Cute tho, whole medicine cabinet of babies Carly: why not im married now Ali: We'll get on that, date 3, like Carly: where you taking me? Ali: up the wheyyyyyyyyyy Ali: well, we had brunch, indian, obvs we're fat bitches Ali: get on that chinese buffet life Carly: you can get on your yoga mat tho Carly: im fucked Carly: letting myself go so soon my bad Ali: Please, you're perfect Ali: I'll have all the kids if you want Carly: blushing is what i am Carly: how many you want? Ali: how many people names are there for drugs? molly bennie mandy charlie umm Ali: and our preachy child, frank Carly: ha Carly: tina that's one Ali: Ooh, yes, a gay icon Carly: billy, bud our weak child, cosmic kelly who's gonna have to style that out Ali: oh kelly, I hope you have the personality to match or we've really fucked you over there, soz babe Carly: can't forget dimitri, lucy or mandy Carly: sweet sweet mary joy Ali: My fanny hurts just thinking about it Carly: christine and tina are obvs twins thats a relief Carly: how manys that? Ali: 13 Ali: Unlucky for some but my actual lucky number! Ali: Fated Carly: ha Carly: it's love and keeps being proven Ali: can't fight what's clearly so right Carly: true Ali: you want a milkshake Ali: i'm having one Carly: yea Carly: strawberry Ali: 'cos u so sweet 💚 Carly: awww Ali: I shall be right there, with brunch fit for a pair of proud slags Carly: k Carly: my parents arent here no need to break the news of wedded bliss Ali: Would be a weird first impression but I could rock it Ali: new fave in-law? I think so Carly: yea Carly: cant fight fate like Carly: been said Ali: forreal, catch me outside if you got something to say, lads Ali: alone time with the bae is always good tho Carly: you kno Carly: love you bitch Ali: love ya 😘

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saturnianrhythm · 7 years

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questions i felt like answering

answering for both my long-standing deity kintype, and my relatively new one

1. What are you (prophet, God, angel, etc)? two deities

2. What or Who do you represent? stargod: travel, travelers, maps, direction, balance, polaris, ursa minor, and i am the prince of and main representative for every star and constellation feargod: fear, worry, insomnia, anxiety, nightmares, illness, and very minor control over fire and blood (when either is involved with ill will)

3. What do you look like? stargod: i had two forms - a literal star core, and my humanoid form had short wavy silver hair, glowing light blue/white eyes, near-alabaster skin, and raven-black wings with a blue sheen and silver accents. while humanoid, i wore a shimmering silver laurel wreath with a light-as-feathers light blue himation over a chiton feargod: im legit not sure about this one but i think i was a shadow monster a lot

4. Colors/animals/objects associated with you? stargod: silver, sky blue, dark blue, ravens, maps, scales feargod: black, red, white, wolves, claws, bones, teeth, blood, darkness

5. What are you trying to achieve? i dont fully understand this?? cause those kintypes are past lives, i dont really have control over those things anymore...but i guess im trying to be as kind as stargod, and as fearless as feargod

6. What band/artist gives you divine feelings? its moreso songs, not simply the people behind them

7. (for Prophets) How do you interpret messages?

8. Do you have any other limbs that your human self doesn’t? (Horns, wings, etc)? stargod had feather wings on his back, while feargod had sharper teeth and claws, maybe bat-like wings

9. (for Gods) What do you like as offerings? stargod: parts of meals thrown into the fire usually, stuff like moonwater or sunwater, pieces of valuables if you’re a devotee, uhh...idk much else for them but i think a prayer you could do was like, burn a piece of a map with your destination in mind, and it’d give me the hint to help out. feargod: blood (obviously), animal sacrifice (prey only), sometimes human sacrifice (those who have done a considerable amount of wrong) if you wanted my help during war, stolen things i think, bones/teeth, and red or black things (roses, fabric, stained paper, etc). burning a valuable/cherished item was also a direct prayer to me for personal protection in things like love or family matters (yea i was a dick in my rites but my moms the love goddess for petes sake, i govern worries and if you’re desperate and innocent enough i got your back) 10. Why are you here on Earth right now? Andy (my tarot deck) says this; “to follow my intuition and dreams, to face my fears, and change.” 11. Do you have powers? In those lives? yea. I don’t have the power I used to as a human with limited intuitive direction. 12. What element relates to you? stargod - water and fire (thanks to mom and dad) feargod - fire i guess? 13. Is there something (a book, movie, myth) that is similar to you? or reminds you of yourself? i actually cant think of anything for stargod! but feargod is literally Phobos, i just call him feargod to match stargod, whose name i dont remember. 14. How old are you? i dont have definite ages for either of them stargod was born after human’s creation by Helios and Selene in order to look after them and guide them, after the whole Prometheus thing feargod was born somewhere after the time Ares and Aphrodite got together, but where that is in relation to human history in that universe is unknown as of right now 15. Do you have dominion over anything? this was technically answered with #2 16. Do you know any of your mythology? ahhh i take most of the Official Greek God History (TM) with a grain of salt cause i dont believe most of it is canon for me,,,which rly sucks for this life cause i still worship Greek Gods and they had different history here but it’s hard to wrap my head around,, (Helios and Selene being siblings??? what??????) 17. Do you write poetry, paint, to express your divinity? if not, do you do something else? !!! i dont usually! I want to but I dont have materials to paint or the right words for poetry but i really wanna! I’ve drawn a few memories tho! usually I just reblog kin pics, or vent about memories to anyone who will listen. 18. (for Prophets, angels) do you know who your God is? 19. When and how did you know you were divine? hooooooooo shit.....i dont remember when i realized i was the stargod?? being my first divine kintype...i think i was just joking like “lmao if i was divinekin i’d probs be a god of stars or some shit smh” but then i couldnt get it outta my mind...next thing i know i’m waist-deep in memories and sobbing. 20. Any advice for those unsure/new to their divinity? honestly, if you’re questioning being divine in a previous life, specifically a god, more often than not it’s something you either think about from time to time or something you’re super passionate about...it doesn’t even really have to be something you know a lot about or do a lot or are really good at. 21. What are your views on humans? stargod: oh man...this is actually very conflicting...when he was born he saw humans like a mother sees their newborn child. as time wore on they were like my kids, but in a more casual sense. when shit went down leading up to my death though? horrid creatures. deserving of the worst pains. rot. burn. die. ....i was not ok... feargod: pretty much how dying-stargod felt. vermin, disgusting vile things, all of them are dead to me anyways....but the thing is, unlike my twin brother, i had a very soft spot for innocence like young kids, babies, kind-hearted people...yea. if someone killed an innocent person i got pissed and probably considered cursing their bloodline. 22. What would your place of worship look like? stargod was mostly privately worshiped, so i only had portable altars, maybe some good-luck-charm for more traveller-oriented places.....feargod tho? entire temples. granted, they’re small, and meant mostly for warriors, but they’re there. 23. Do you know the rules of your afterlife (if there are any)? stargod was directly involved with the human afterlife...or rather, my assistants were, while i oversaw their actions and guided lost souls. my assistants were responsible for judging and placing souls passing through the afterlife. i dont know what its like being a ghost from that world, but to me everyone just looked like a human, though ghosts were a bit greyed out?

24. What’s your most and least favorite thing about being divine? from both lives, being a god is super rewarding, but it’s pretty tedious. on one hand, you have people devoted to you, willing to push on in your name, and you can see the hope in everyone’s hearts and intention. on the other, it’s pretty demanding work - you have to make sure you give the right commands or direction, help around in the right places, and kill as little humans as possible. you’re born with considerable amount of power, and sometimes it can get to a god’s head, and we’re all also about as emotional as humans, so it can get pretty sticky... 25. What does your Home look like? as stargod, my home was a giant star castle. my room was in the center and each spike led to different rooms. there was no up or down but the walls were beautiful, like that aerogel stuff, if it could glow. feargod didn’t have a home, i dont think? he could take residence with Aphrodite or Ares, but gods dont really need sleep, so he rarely did so. 26. Other than yourself, who do you think is a really cool divine being? personally, stargod was on good terms with almost everyone. i think sometimes he held disdain towards Zeus or other weather gods, but it wasn’t often or really strong. Mostly he just kept to himself. feargod has special feelings in his heart for his parents and his twin, Deimos. Siblings? not so much. Most of his siblings were love gods, so he didn’t very much enjoy their presence. nowadays i totally do tho! 27. Does your divinity affect your day to day life? How? not really...it just kinda gives me things to look back on. i mean, in this life im not good at direction or self-control, and i’m not that scary. i’m not terribly upset over those things though. 28. (for Angels) if you have wings, what do they look like, how big are they, how many, and do they serve any other purpose besides flying? 29. Is there a place on earth that reminds you of Home? being very far away from big or moderate cities at night helps for stargod...id rather not think about feargod though :/ 30. What is your favorite post on the actuallydivine tag? i havent looked at that tag in a long time so i cant remember >_<

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