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telehxhtrash · 3 years

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OH MAN. Ok let’s talk about our interpretations of Ginpatsu no Shounen !!!! I’ve been wanting to talk about this and then I saw @/strawberrypandy’s wonderful interpretation of it so I wanted to share mine too, bc music is subjective and Ginpatsu no Shounen breaks me :)

This will be 100% subjective. Music interpretation is subjective, there is no correct way to interpret it, so this will definitely be personal ! And thank you very much to Nix for helping me out a lot with musical instruments and terms!!

So. I already demonstrated that it’s a waltz (in the post I linked above). A waltz is a couple’s dance, it takes two people, so this means that Ginpatsu no Shounen is focused on Killua’s relationship with Gon and the impact meeting him had on him. To me, this general theme and his story is reflected in the musical composition as well as the instruments.

I’m most definitely gonna use less specific terms than Pandy here, but let’s also break his theme into three parts. First part being from the beginning to a bit before the crescendo (0:00 to 0:39), second part being the build up and the crescendo itself (0:39 to 1:20), and last part being from the end of the crescendo to the end of the piece (1:20 to 2:07). I’m going to use time-stamps from this video, I recommend listening to the parts I highlight for better comprehension!

FIRST PART. (0:00-0:39)

To me, the first part of the song represents Killua’s life before Gon. It represents who Killua was, who he used to be. This first part sounds so gentle, soft and delicate, yet hides a sort of melancholy. It almost feels like a sort of loneliness, like something is hurting behind all this softness and innocence. It feels like yearning, longing for more. At 0:06, you can hear a flute, and to me this feels almost like a calling. A call for something, something calling Killua. To me, this would be Killua’s longing for more. Longing for a life other than the miserable, cold life he’s destined to live. It’s something calling to him, something that he wants to follow.

The melancholy is expressed with brass instruments in the background at around 0:10, and it contrasts beautifully the piano that plays a soft melody. I think it reflects Killua’s duality : he’s fundamentally a good person, and it’s reflected through the soft tune that the piano plays, but the addition of brass instruments sort of contrasts this : to me, this reflects Killua’s doubts about who he is. Is he allowed to want more for himself? Can he truly be a good person? Is it okay for him to want to change, even though he did so much wrong?

At around 0:20 seconds, a percussion instrument comes in, which gives a feeling of something magical, of innocence. It reinforces that idea that Killua is just a kid, that he just wants to be one, and follow his calling and leave his old life behind.

The woodwinds start to take a more prominent role in the melody starting at 0:30, which to me reflects Killua taking this calling, and deciding to leave the house and live a life for himself.

So to me, this first part symbolizes Killua’s yearning for more. It represents who Killua is, a boy who’s fundamentally good, and who’s desperate for something more. His innocence and good nature is reflected beautifully in this part, and his inner conflict is also present. This part is meant to reflect Killua’s need to live his life as a kid, not as the Zoldyck heir, and it represents his need to live a normal life, make friends and have fun.

SECOND PART. (0:39-1:21)

Here, it’s a woodwind solo. To me, this represents Killua taking this calling that I talked about, following his own heart and deciding to leave home. The rhythm is calm, nonchalant almost, it sounds like Killua is just strolling through life, not really knowing where to go but enjoying the sight with marvel and curiosity, but still not quite finding what he wants. The oom-cha-cha accompaniment is very very noticeable in the background, played by strings, and it’s wayyyy more noticeable than in the first part. To me, since the oom-cha-cha accompaniment is the waltz’s trademark, this represents Killua’s growing need to make a friend. He’s strolling casually through life, not sure where to go, but wanting to make a friend.

And then the music escalates, at about 1:02 until it hits the crescendo, which is an explosion of multiple instruments. To me, this represents an explosion of feelings. A sense of marvel, of finally finding something he’s looking for. It represents an important moment, something unplanned but wonderful. And to me, since this is after all a waltz... This represents him meeting Gon. Because Gon is everything he ever wanted, a friend, a light that could guide him, he represents the one chance he’s got at a normal life. It represents the moment he lays eyes on Gon, and it’s an explosion of feelings of relief for finally finding what he wants. It almost feels like the music represents Killua’s heart, almost bursting at the prospect of making a friend, just like he always wanted to do. And since I love clichés, I’m even gonna say this big crescendo kind of feels like falling in love at first sight.

At 1:17, there’s a flute solo, which to me represents Gon (it also gives us a sort of throwback to that flute calling Killua at 0:06). This is Gon offering his hand to Killua, inviting him to dance, inviting him to follow him in his mad quest to look for his long-lost dad. It’s Gon extending his hand and giving Killua an opportunity to leave his old life behind. It’s Gon accepting Killua’s past and offering him to come along with him. It’s a waltz, a couple’s dance, and he’s inviting him to dance.

LAST PART (1:21-2:07)

This part is technically a repeat of the first part, but to me, it feels different because of the crescendo and the flute solo that happened right before. To me, this part is Killua accepting Gon’s offer, taking his hand and accepting to dance with him. It feels less alone, less lonely, less melancholic. It feels like it’s Gon and Killua walking together, instead of Killua walking alone, like before. With the repetition of the first part, yet the fact that it feels different, it’s a mix of old and new, with Gon just reinforcing the beautiful melody that was in Killua’s heart all along.

The same flute we heard at 0:06 is repeated here at 1:27, but this time, it feels like instead of something calling Killua, it’s Gon calling him. It’s Killua wanting to follow Gon, he’s his calling, he’s the person Killua looked for and the person he’s following. This little fleeting moment of a flute feels kind of like a ray of sunshine, calling Killua to please follow it. So Killua follows.

This part feels like marvel, wonder, magic, and because of the crescendo that happened before, even the brass instruments that used to give melancholy feel sort of soothing to me now. It doesn’t feel lonely anymore, it gives off a relaxing feeling. It feels like walking alongside someone. It feels like walking through life accompanied, finally having found what you want to do, who you want to be.

Finally, the percussion (chimes i think) hits again at 1:41, and this time, to me, rather than innocence, it expresses bliss. It represents happiness and joy. It represents Killua finally finding what he was looking for, finally getting to live the life he wants, alongside the important person he was looking for.

Ginpatsu no Shounen is to me a song meant to reflect Killua’s story, and how meeting Gon affected him. Since it’s a waltz, it represents Killua’s relationship to Gon, and how meeting him changed his life. The first part of the song expresses Killua’s longing for a better life, with a deep melancholy heartbreakingly parallelled with instruments that represent his innocence and inner good nature. The second part of the song represents him choosing to leave the house and look for a better life, see if there’s something more, walking casually and in a nonchalant way through life, trying to see if he could make a friend. The crescendo represents his meeting with Gon, and the burst of feelings that it entails, with the flute solo representing Gon extending his hand to invite him to come along. Finally, the last part represents Gon and Killua waltzing together, dancing through life as a pair. It represents the bliss of finally finding the person he wanted to find, the person he was destined to find.

Ginpatsu no Shounen represents the shift from Killua dancing alone to the rhythm of his own heart to dancing to the beat of Gon’s heart, together.

And the way the anime uses this melody highlights this idea of a dance for two, of two people reaching for each other. His theme plays only 2 times in the entire show. The first time when Killua expresses his need to become friends with Gon, and the second and last time when Gon expresses his need to get Killua back. Those two scenes parallel each other, it’s Killua reaching out to Gon and Gon reaching out to Killua, and the use of Killua’s waltz emphasizes this idea of two people who are connected, with the same devotion and need to be together, a dance for two people who belong together.

#hxh meta #hxh #killugon #meta #my meta #thoughts #this is my own lil interpretation but i hope this was okay jknfkjf #ty for reading!!

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jess-oh · 6 years

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Reflection

hey,

i feel mixed things. i went to the good friday service and a part of me is happy that it wasnt awkward and i wasnt the only one that decided to go but another part of me is sad that i didnt get to spend that one-on-one time with jason. but i am glad that eunice and angela were there too. during the service, i took notes diligently and after the practical time, i did my best to distance myself from everyone else so as to not feel judged or pressured. and it did go well for a while and i was good at not speaking until we got into the small chapel and started writing our new commitments. my heart did break when i saw the whip and crown of thorns and touched it and i cant even imagine the physical, mental, and emotional torment that Jesus went through leading up to His death. And I kind of wish I had spent more time there instead of moving faster so that other people wouldn’t have to wait. But after writing my commitments, I decided to pray on my knees and I was aware when people started leaving and I knew that the room was either totally or nearly empty by the time that I was done but I just felt like I really needed that time to be with God and confess what was on my heart. I know that I’ve been struggling with what it means to rest in Christ and that’s something that I’ve never been very good at and really trying to understand my value in God’s eyes. I think I am still struggling with my identity in God but I did carry out my commitment. I am a lot more proud and bold in my faith. I’ve been able to more openly talk about my faith in my dorm, on the first floor, at work, at the train station, anywhere. And I am really proud of myself and how far I’ve grown since last year. And initially, I wasn’t really in the mood to have fun and games and laugh and fellowship but i pushed myself to learn to receive and relax so i laughed alongside them. and i did actually have a good time. i got a lot closer with chelsea and angela, jason, chelsea, and i decided to eat kbbq together afterwards and it was really fun! joyce and jiham later joined us and we all talked in between conversations. and i accidentally slipped and said, “i dont drink anymore” when jason jokingly offered me some and everyone immediately exclaimed, “WHAT?” to me in disbelief. And to my surprise, Jason asked if I had a problem with it before but stopped and I confirmed his suspicions. But looking back on it, I’m kinda surprised he got that from what I said? It could just be that I drank a bit but decided not to anymore? But anyway, I was half expecting them to press further into it but they didn’t and I’m partly sad that I couldn’t share and relieved that I didn’t have to share. I think I could have but it did make me feel kind of bad when they reacted so strongly. But throughout the day, honestly, I was forcing myself to put on a smile and pretend that I was okay. And it didn’t seem like the mood or the moment to share my struggles and I really do thin I define myself by how much I serve and give bc it is such a huge part of my identity. And I think my intentions are usually pure but there is always a part me that needs to give in order to feel like I’m worth something. And that’s definitely something that I need to seriously pray about. I think a lot of the times, I wait until I’m at church to pray instead of just doing it when I need to and because of that, it feels fake sometimes at church. It feels like I don’t really mean what I’m saying. And I definitely do think I need to spend more time with God to get over it. I do want an honest and pure relationship with Him and I know a lot of the times, my feeling like I need to be a leader gets in the way of that. And I pretended like I was fine and kept saying that I was okay but I also couldn’t stop thinking about how I literally didn’t want to live anymore on Saturday. That was less than a week ago and I just felt like I was in so much pain and suffering and misery that I couldn’t take it anymore and I just wanted to die and kill myself so that I could be happy and with God and just be in pure joy and bliss. But I’m afraid if I say anything, P. Josh will think I’m not yet ready to serve and take MAST away from me and I would honestly be so upset because of that. It would feel like EIC and yearbook all over again. But, not becoming EIC gave me the opportunity to build a much more intimate relationship with God and come back to Him and maybe this is a sign that I shouldn’t be serving in MAST bc it’ll just stand in the way of me being able to rest and receive and learn who God is through that.

Oh, I also saw Chaeweon earlier and we sat together and it was gr9. BUT, she left early and I didn’t have time to say bye! :( But we are still going to hangout tomorrow so I’m excited for that!

And my suspicions were confirmed, Jason and Angela are going out! And I want to ask more about it but I think I am a little more understanding of their relationship now. On the one hand, I’m a bit upset just bc I don’t want it to be like my freshman year where everyone in leadership was dating each other and that just made a lot of people feel left out and uncomfortable. But I am happy for them and I hope they grow strong in their faith together. I think they both have their own issues and I think Angela could easily take advantage of Jason on accident just bc she’s so strong and he’s so kind. But they’re both my friends and I do really hope things work out.

My day today—

it was pretty good. honestly. i started my day by getting my dishes done and out of the way, chatted with Emily for a bit in the morning, and headed to school. I revised the pamphlet for A^2 with the updated fonts and printed my leaflet for graphic design. There, I ran into Andrew Shike and helped him out with cutting and checked items out for the both of us. And then I hurriedly tried to take pictures on the 10th floor but it was a STRUGGLE. And my pictures came out okay but I didn’t have enough time to take better pictures and upload them before work and the media lab closed when I got off my shift, soooo. I just decided to take my time to get good pictures for class and my portfolio tomorrow. i think i’ll try to do it after hanging out with chaeweon for lunch! hopefully we dont take too long. well, idk. i would love to chat for hours with her and it not be awkward but i also do have some work to do. i guess she can accompany me and then we can just spend the day together from there? but, we’ll just have to see how things turn out tomorrow.

and honestly, im in a constant state of being on the verge of tears. true joy is something that i have not felt in a while and i can feel myself getting numb and afraid and anxiety-ridden and im just upset bc i worked so hard to get away from that but i feel like im just reverting back into my old habits.

i drank at the beginning of the school year bc i wasn’t in a mentally good stable. im still not in a mentally good place, lol. but i am better. kind of. i just felt very alone and like i couldnt trust anyone last semester and i was the most concerned with my grandma’s health at the time bc it didnt look like she would be making it by the time i returned for winter break. and i sought refuge and mulan and dana. and bc they were there for me, i was desperate to be accepted and so, i started casually drinking with them. marlena too. she respected my choice to not drink before but the temptation was there and i went for it. and granted, i didnt drink a ton but i was definitely on my way to becoming an alcoholic. i drank nearly daily for two weeks and since then, there have been moments when i was tempted to just drink to avoid my problems and ease the pain. and thank goodness im not 21 yet or else i would’ve bought so many bottles already. it’s bc i dont have easy access that im still sober and not an alcoholic but looking at everything that im going through, sometimes i just want to give up and solve my problems by not thinking at all.

i dont know if i feel alone bc i know that i have people around me that care about me. but i do feel like theres this wall thats dividing us and keeping me from really being raw and vulnerable and just facing my fears and anxieties and worries head on. and im wondering if the only way to get over this is to confess it to God. And while I think that will help in part, I do think I also just need to be okay with trusting others with my life and weaknesses and vulnerabilities and thriving in where I fail. Because none of us are perfect. I feel like before, people were jealous of me bc of how perfect I seemed. But now that I’ve let people see my weaknesses, I feel like they judge me and deem me unfit to lead and serve. But if this is how I can better develop my relationship with God, then why not do it, yknow? Idk. I’m just. conflicted. struggling. theres a lot on my plate and i just want to throw myself at my work so that i dont have to think about it.

#reflection

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