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mazuwii · 2 years

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Them as your sibling

A/N this is an anonymous request, by a lovely person who asked if I could write a headcanons chapter on them being an older brother/sister to reader

Enjoy it. My ass went numb from how long it took to type it out

Word count: 4k

Characters: Levi, Eren, Bertholdt, Reiner, Jean, Erwin, Armin, Zeke, Hange, Porco, Pieck, Miche, Mikasa

Levi:

It's no shock that Levi would be one of the most overprotective brothers in the cast. He'd do anything to keep you out of harm's way and while it seems like a privilege to most, this can be quite annoying to you when you are dating someone or making new friends. He stares them down when he takes you to places, telling them that they best not have any bad intentions with his cold grey eyes. You've told him to quit doing that because it scares people away a majority of the time. Although Levi pretends to be annoyed when you ask, he'd prefer to drop you off in his car at any place that you want to go to, he can't risk you getting into any accidents- after all, you're all he has left. So to conclude it all, he's an overprotective and paranoid brother that won't let you breathe unless he knows your exact location and whoever the hell you're with.

This may cause you to lie to him about your whereabouts sometimes, and it creates such a catastrophe. Because he's spam-calling you and when you finally pick up he's yelling, cursing at himself for ever trusting you and demanding to know where you are. Panicking, you close the call and nervously laugh at your friends who had heard the conversation.

You went back home and told him you did. Although terrified for him to come back and scold you, you only sat by the couch, contemplating the outcome of this bad decision. Yet, when he arrived and found you sitting by the windows, he sighed out in relief, his face relieved of any tension- he goes to hug you. But that doesn't mean he isn't going to scream his head off

Eren:

Talk about annoying. He loves harassing anyone coming over about you, showing them ugly photos of you in the family album, telling them secrets and embarrassing shit you've done.

"Ay, I wouldn't sleep with that one, she wets the bed." He cackles as you shriek at him. Your boyfriend cocking a brow, "But wouldn't you not want to sleep with her because you're her brother?"

"Oh and that too I guess."

He likes coming into your room and annoying you, making fun of any new posters or extensions you've added to your room. I guess your room isn't safe when Eren can get in any time- he likes randomly taking your stuff and then saying he was only 'borrowing' when you catch him.

You find your favourite scented candle in his trashy man cave and he just rolls his eyes. "Okay take it, it smells of ass anyway."

Which you'd quickly snap back, "Even the scent of ass crack smells better than you." Only to have him chuck a pillow at you.

Also just a sidenote, Eren can't fucking cook to save his life. When Carla goes on vacation with Grisha she'll give you both a kiss on the cheek and tell you she left a lot of money in the safebox in case you get hungry while they're gone. Eren of course, just orders take out with it. You're only eating greasy food with this hairy ass mf for the entire two weeks that your parents are gone.

And when they do come back, they go on a rant about the disgusting greasy fast food boxes that overflowed the bin. (I say they but it's only Carla, Grisha doesn't give a fuck, mans is almost always in his office like a gremlin)

Though I can say you both tried cooking once, it was fun at first, with you both using a camera to record this memory and laughing at each other's epic fails. Flour was all over you both, eggs and ingredients battered all over the table and floor. However, it was only funny for such a long time before the smoke alarm went off- your parents had to give you a lecture about leaving food in the oven to go watch that stupid show you've been bingeing with each other.

Bertholdt

He's so caring and gentle with you, even when you were an obnoxious child, his favourite part of his day was getting out of the school bus at hometime and finding you run to him with your short stubby toddler legs. He'd embrace you and make a weak attempt at spinning you around. His dad would chuckle at the both of you from afar, thanking the heavens for giving him two angels.

There's a shit ton of photos at home of you and Bert when you were younger, his canine tooth is yet to come out in these photos but he smiles so happily you'd think he was hallucinating about heaven.

These photos show moments like you sitting on ten-year-old Bertholdt's back, hugging him and facing the camera or you both holding onto a fishing rod, cute hats and all. You two are all that your dad has and he'll be damned if he doesn't capture every special moment with you two in.

I'd say you barely ever bicker, only when he's stressed does he (rarely) yell at you. Like the time your dad was stuck in the hospital due to his cancer getting worse. Poor Bertholdt had to juggle going to school, checking up on his dad and taking care of you only at the age of thirteen.

You'd cry and ask where daddy was and he'd just give in to his biggest fears and anger, yelling back at you with his undeveloped voice, "Can you stop crying for one second, Y/n?!" You ran off to your room in tears, slamming the door shut behind you. He immediately regretted it, you're six years younger than him- he was supposed to be the older brother and he just hurt you.

Of course, he'd make it up to you, gently knocking on the doors and speaking in his normally soft voice. "Hey... I'm sorry that I yelled at you, we can go out for ice cream if it'll make you feel better?"

When you both grow up, Bertholdt usually comes to you for advice, or to rant. And you do the same, he's very reliable and to you, he's just your superhero and always has been. (There's probably a small card you made for him when you were in kindergarten where Bertholdt is badly drawn in a superhero outfit using crayons)

Reiner:

Gym nut brother (I know a lot about this trope:,) it's a sad life). Reiner just loves bragging about his GAINZ and joking about how he's an Alpha male (Ironically. Only because he knows how much alpha males make you cringe)

Genuinely, he'll come back from the gym (He goes at five AM and comes back at eight AM or nine) and find you in your PJ's, probably playing on your phone and peacefully eating cereal like a normal human being and he'll interrupt this peace by flexing his arm.

"Oi, Y/n, am I getting bigger?"

"Bruh, this again?"-

"No seriously, have I?" He flexes harder, still smiling cluelessly, it's so funny to you for some reason that you just laugh and shake your head. "Yeah, sure."

Despite how annoying he is, he's just like a second father to you but you'd never really admit it. After all, you only grew up with a mum and no father- once that never paid any child support so all you had was him. Reiner is the type to come into your room, look at himself in the mirror and do a bunch of poses where he's showing off his body.

It's like a weird NPC that comes into your house and you're confused as to how it got in, but you still just tell him that he looks like an uncooked chicken. He'll always insult you back, but he keeps it on the low because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings- (He also don't wanna get slapped up by mama XD)

But Reiner has moments where he stresses too much, with work, gym, university and marriage that he can't help but fuck himself over by ruining his routines and before you know it he gets two hours of sleep a day.

Sometimes you'll arrange movie times with him to help destress, and it works- except he falls asleep in the first twenty minutes, he tends to subconsciously hug something nearby when sleeping because it reminds him of when you both were younger and how he'd hug you to sleep when your mum was out late to make you feel safer

Jean:

Jean is such a bighead. He tries to be kind and thoughtful but he's just obnoxious, especially when you go out, he'd pay for anything you get with his own money because he's so 'alpha' or I guess 'traditional'. I don't know, he has such a big ego when it comes to money and he feels like it's wrong to let his younger sister pay when he's around.

You like to call him Jeffrey Bezos because he's always telling you about how much money he has- like he once took you to a Walmart to buy some groceries for your mum and he said, "Do you want anything else? I could buy this entire store if you wanted me to." Please slap him back to reality.

But he is admirable, he is reliable and never breaks promises, it's just the way he is, if he said he'd do something, he'll do it without faltering.

Also, you tease him about how he sleeps like a princess. Like you once were ordered by your mum to wake him up before he's late to work and when you walked in on him, he was laid on his front side, his left leg kneeling while he drapes his arm across his pillow as if he's sleeping on a man's chest. All while the blanket wraps around his curves and leaves his shaved legs and shoulders exposed. It's hilarious because he's already engaged to a woman who knows this.

You and your sister in law tease him all the time, though he's more lenient when she does it- he goes hard on cussing you out but it never gets serious, it's always laughter between you two. He'd never have the intention of scaring or hurting you.

Armin:

Armin reads weird fucking shit and barely ever comes downstairs, he's that one gremlin sibling that only ever leaves their room for food and to check who turned the wifi off. It's so funny that he presents himself as this organised smartass but we all know that isn't the case.

His fashion sense is that of Rocky from the amazing world of gumball. All you find in his wardrobe is graphic rock band tees, long sleeves that go under these T-shirts and baggy jeans. He also enjoys the Minecraft world and has probably quoted, "Get out of my room! I'm playing Minecraft!"

His room smells of soggy cereal and your mum has to always come in once a month to air it out and clean it. He always feels guilty about it and apologises, telling her he'll do better.

Now just because Armin is a game doesn't mean he's not a hardcore nerd. He has a large bookshelf and more books in the home library, he just can't get enough information. His fat brain usually leads to the both of you getting into arguments and his snobby ass pushing his glasses up as if he's in anime and being snobby, "WeLL aCTuaLLy Y/N, I tHInk YOu sHoULd fINd ThaT"-

"Well, I think you should find some bitches."

He's still a nice brother, he'll invite you out with Mikasa and Eren when he sees you're getting lonely and will even tolerate you around when he's on an XBOX party. Though Armin doesn't apologise, he does leave sweets on your bed with a passive-aggressive note stuck to them

Erwin:

Do you know when your father is hella political? And your sibling is hella political? So then that turns dinner time into the house of bloody parliaments- or some kind of debate club.

Erwin has always been an opinionated kid and still is- he's only better at hiding it. He's a snob that joined every single club without being asked to, he can play piano, violin, he probably does ballet for the fun of it and even took archery on. Your mum takes huge pride in him but your dad takes pride in you- for some reason.

He's always been seen as a man to your dad, I think Erwin was a homunculus, that was not a child.

Either way, he's always been a responsible brother, he picks you up on time and carries your things for you, he even had his lunch switched by accident with you once during school, (Silly mother) and he came right up to you and took his lunchbox and gave yours back. "You're allergic to (said thing) I hope you didn't eat it."

"No, I'm not that stupid." You grunted, begrudgingly watching him as he walked back to his friends' table like the adult stuck in a child's body he was.

He is the king of those photo's where both kids are dressed in smart attire and they take a picture in a studio. He didn't need anyone to tell him what to do, he'd slick his own hair back, button-up and tuck his shirt in, all at the age of eight years old. Hell, he told you to dress smarter when you showed up in pigtails. Sir your sister is like, what? five years old?!

You may be smiling in this picture but Erwin has a straight face, straight up.

Also, he had an evil fat pet cat that for some reason really fucking hated you growing up but loved Erwin. And every time she'd try to sabotage you by making you trip or scratch you, she'd hop onto Erwin's arms, he strokes her like a grandma and sighs, "Now now, Churchill, that wasn't a polite thing to do."

Zeke:

Best bro ever! Zeke is kinda like a young dad, he tries to seem like he knows what he's doing but he really doesn't. By the time you were born, he was already eight years old. Despite his age, he was really gentle when holding you for the first time, he was so excited about finally having a sibling.

Although you were moody and bratty growing up, Zeke could handle you, he'd always manage to gently bring you back to reality but also cheer you up even when your mum divorced your dad.

There are probably framed photo's where he's giving you a piggyback ride or carrying you on his hip. He's just always been protective and caring of you. Even when your dad remarried, he stuck by your side and never let you feel like anything would change between you both.

He loves spoiling you, it's just a habit of his. He'll accidentally smack your head while trying to reach something and quickly flinch towards you with such a horrified look, hastily asking if you were okay because you were wincing from the impact. Later on, he just gives you like five dollars for it. It didn't hurt that bad but K.

Also, Zeke got his driving license at like- seventeen so he loves taking you to places when he's free, sometimes it's just a small drive around the village after he gets you ice cream, talking about life and catching up on anything he's missed. He doesn't miss. Not at all.

He also always makes sure that you both visit your grandparents on a daily basis, especially for holidays. Last Christmas you had a vote and Zeke and you voted to be with your grandparents. Grisha and Carla didn't mind, they weren't going to keep you away from your own grandfather and mother. But Eren wanted to stay since they were inviting Mikasa over so-

Also, sidenote- Zeke calls you by your name but mostly he nicknames you 'Squeak'. This will often be followed by a head pat or a cheek pinch. "Hey squeak."

Porco:

He is a messy brother that just loves to bicker with you, he's so bratty and sassy around you and your mum. Even Marcel has to tell him that he isn't all that. SMH.

The family budget is always blown on his hair gel and products he uses that are specifically catered to men despite the fact that Porco has never been able to grow a beard- or even stubble. That privilege went to Marcel, he grew up to be popular amongst everyone and Porco was just the class clown that never meant to be the class clown.

You and Porco have always been the deathly siblings that teachers look out for. It's like 'prepare for trouble! And make it double!'

The number of times you've gotten into fights at the same times during school and both see each other at the office, it's like the spiderman pointing meme. "What are you doing here?"

"What're you doing here?"

"I asked first!"

"GALLIARDS!" The teacher yells at you both, face red and tired from the issues you both cause. it's a pain in the ass. Especially to your poor mum. Marcel is usually the one who picks you both up, in his car.

You and Porco will argue about who goes into the passenger seat and Marcel will have a clear vein pulsating on his temple, on the verge of knocking you both out. "Backseats. Both of you." And of course, you oblige because holy shit, no one is scarier than Marcel when he's mad.

When you see the McDonalds sign up ahead you both rise up from your slouched positions and start frantically begging Marcel to stop by the drive-thru like two whiny kids. And frankly, you're lucky he's so nice- and that he stress eats like a mum.

Now you're all sitting in the parking lot, listening to him eat like it's his last meal, crying on about how you both put a lot of work on mum and him and how the family can't afford more issues. But it's okay because you and Porco got happy meals, with apple slices.

But then it isn't okay because Porco wants to switch with your toy but you don't want to switch yours and now Marcel is roaring at you both to shut up, almost choking on his food.

May I remind you, you're both sixteen years old at this time.

Despite this, Porco is still a great brother that has beaten people up for you. He may come out of fights full of blood and scars, but he will never come out of a fight being the losing one. He will do anything to protect you, despite how often you two argue, you both love each other and have moments where you get along calmly- until your mum points it out and you both bicker again.

Hange:

Quite the odd sibling that you never really understood. The most memories you'd have of her is dropping a package off to her room (That she was never bothered to collect herself) Only to walk in on her creating what seems to be a nuclear bomb?!

"WOAH WOAH WOAH Y/N! Careful, buddy!" She tiptoes to the door frame where you are and takes the box from your hands. "Thanks, you're really awesome." She ruffles your hair with her chemical-covered gloves and closes the door behind her, leaving you dumbfounded.

Even during dinner, she'd have messy hair and raggedy clothes as if she was just plucked from the gutters. Most of the time during these family gatherings she'd either be staring menacingly into space or just shovel food in her mouth like an animal. You always were confused by her and how she never wanted to play with you.

So your favourite times growing up were camping trips where she'd help you toast marshmallows and tell you scary stories while your dad was fixing up the beds inside the tents. It always scared you but she managed to get you to lighten up by tickling you, exaggerating her voice to sound like a monster child.

She's always been blinded by her interests and ideas that she never learnt how to properly form a human relationship with anyone. It took her like eighteen years to finally understand that she needs to bond properly with you. Because accidentally creating toxic explosions in her room that results in the entire family having to be evacuated out of the house for a month isn't really bonding.

She'd stalk your Instagram pages to understand what you like and take you out on sibling dates, engaging in your interests and genuinely being enthusiastic about it.

Hange quickly became your best friend in the span of a month and she wonders why she never did this sooner.

Pieck

She's the older sister that resembles a mum, she'll be the one who taught you how to do your shoelaces, what to do in certain situations, taking you out to stores to buy things for school and sometimes she'll even drop you off.

Pieck is less the protective kind and more, I'll throw my baby out of the nest when she's ready and when she shows signs of struggling, I'll help give her a small lift to the right direction.

She's the type to encourage you to beat a bully up before they get too confident with you. She also helps to do your homework and even does small drawing activities with you. Really, she's just perfect and hasn't ever been aggressive with you, even when she has to take you out with her friends, she hugged you and introduced you to her friends as, "My wonderful little sister."

I think she just has an inner child that enjoys the things you would. Even if it means being stuck in a cinema watching a boring cartoon, she'll pretend to be shocked at boring plot twists and pull funny faces, making you giggle.

The only negative about her, that I can identify, is that she's a product stealer. When you grow up and have makeup/fragrances/body washes or any of that jazz, she'll go to your toilet to take some of yours when she runs out. It's obvious because she smells like your products and you're like did you just- you racoon...

Mikasa:

The cool sibling, you've always looked up to her when you were young. She was everything you wanted to be.

You grew up being around Armin and Eren. Armin was always kind and sorta shy around you but you liked him because he always gave you lollipops- Eren on the other hand, was a total creepo, you didn't like him.

Anytime him and Mikasa were around each other, you'd cockblock instantly before they have a cute moment together. No one deserved Mikasa but yourself. You always would tell Eren, "Mikasa deserves a better man and you're a boy with cooties!" He'd only scoff and argue back- even though he's like five years older than you. Hello?! Eren arguing with a toddler?!

Mikasa will drag you around everywhere with her just to know that you're safe because she gets paranoid when you're not with her, safe and sound. She also likes to help around with your life, kinda like an overbearing mother, she doesn't want you carrying things that are too heavy, she doesn't let you go out by yourself, she just doesn't want you to get hurt.

Miche:

When Miche speaks in grunts and hums, only you understand him. It's a wonder to other people, how when he does a certain noise, you'll give him water. It confuses everyone, how do you get what he's saying?

Anyways, he enjoys standing at the edge of your bedroom and just staring at you, waiting for you to say somrthing.

"Something you want...?" He grins.

"Let me guess... You want me to walk the dog."

Negative grunt.

"You want... me to call your friends and tell them you're busy?"

Negative grunt, impatient tone.

"You want"-

"I want to rewatch Encanto with you." He finally says, seemingly exhausted with how long it took for you to guess that. You'd only sigh in disbelief, you swear you've seen it millions of times, he's like a child with concentration issues.

You slip off the covers of your comforter and follow him to the living room, "Fine... but can we watch something else?"

Negative grunt

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