#being too down to earth in terms of imagination sucks so bad i can't come up with anything cool | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

undertheorangetree · 8 months

Text

Under the God's Eye

Chapter Five- The Dinner

Summary- A family dinner results in an unexpected rendezvous.

Warnings- MDNI 18+ NSFW. Female reader. Titty sucking. Handjob. Vaginal fingering. Cunnilingus. Smut. Alcohol consumption. Allusions to drug abuse. Severe daddy issues. My bitter and intense hatred for Viserys Targaryen coming through in my writing. Discussions of bad childhood/neglectful parenting.

Author's Note- okay I’m done teasing now. Shout out to modern AUs for letting me use modern terms in smut without it sounding weird to me. Find the rest of this filth on AO3 link below!

Series masterlist

divider by firefly-graphics

She watches mildly distraught as Alicent flutters around the kitchen, murmuring to herself as she sets pots and pans on the stovetop, pulling out an absurd amounts of ingredients from the fridge.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" she asks for what she thinks is the fourth time, hand fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

Alicent looks up at her, blowing a wayward strand of hair out of her face with a tired smile. "I'm sure, sweetheart. Don't worry, Rhaenyra should be here within the hour to help me. You're on vacation, go and do something fun. I can handle it."

"I don't mind helping, really. Even if it's only until Rhaenyra gets here."

That earns her nothing but another thankful smile and a shake of her head before Alicent is ignoring her completely, mumbling about where she has left her biggest bowl. A part of her is worried that she's annoying Alicent but she still can't stop herself from asking. She looks frazzled, so much so that it is clear that she is not used to working in the kitchen like this. With her hair tangled in a messy red bun on the top of her head, she has a hard time imagining the Targaryen-Hightower household as a place known for nuclear family dinners. Not with the way Alicent seems absolutely wrought with anxiety.

"Oh, my love," Alicent calls out suddenly and she turns to find Helaena pausing on her way to the stairwell, an expensive looking Russian Blue cradled in her arms. Dreamfyre, she had learned the cat's name was, though she has only ever seen her in pictures on Helaena's phone. She is a reclusive little thing, spending most of her days basking in the sunlight in quieter rooms. Alicent waves Helaena over before jerking her head in her direction. "Take our dear friend here and tell her to enjoy being a guest. She's trying to be too helpful for a holiday."

Helaena huffs a laugh, adjusting her grip on her cat before holding her hand out to her, fingers grabbing at air like a child. "Come on then."

She's pulled out of the kitchen unceremoniously, obediently following behind Helaena, though she can't help but look back at Alicent once more, still feeling guilty.

"I don't know why she doesn't just bring some of the staff with her," Helaena laments as they begin climbing the stairs, still hand in hand. "She insists that she doesn't need them on holiday, but then she plans some big dinner like this and all it does is stress her out."

Out of all of Alicent's children, Helaena is the one she can most see herself befriending. The sweetest, the most down to earth, less obvious when it comes to her family's massive wealth. But it is moments like this where the blatant difference between them is abundantly clear. Her home had never had so much as a maid, much less a whole host of staff. She can do nothing but nod dumbly, agreeing with her as they make their way to the second floor.

"You lost this," Helaena says as she opens Aemond's door, smiling at them both and looking incredibly pleased with her own joke.

"You're so funny," Aemond says, voice completely deadpan, not so much as looking up from the book he has open on his desk. She doesn't have to look at the cover to know it's a textbook as her own copy is still sitting on her bedside table in her apartment.

She grins. "I know."

Helaena leaves and she has no choice but to make herself comfortable on their now shared bed, propping the pillows up against the headboard and sitting back against them. Aemond continues reading and she takes the opportunity to really look at him, uninterrupted by his own piercing gaze. The long sharp planes of his face, the strong jut of his nose, the line of his cheekbones. The ever present tilt of his lips, as if there is some secret or joke he’s struggling to hide. Even from here, she can see the way his eyelashes curl against his eyelids, the light blonde of them near translucent. His hair is the same almost silver blond and, fleetingly, she wonders how much effort he truly puts into it. She has heard the sound of the hairdryer when he locks himself in the bathroom but has never seen any of the products he may or may not be using. Nor has she ever been permitted to enter, the door locked tight since their post shower run in.

But it's his eye that truly catches her attention. She's sat on his sighted side and she can see the brilliant blue of his real eye even from there, admiring the way it catches the afternoon light. Only the dilation of his pupil sets it apart from the prosthetic and she realizes now how pretty they are when he’s not glaring at her or attempting to stare her into submission.

She nearly jumps when he speaks, pulling her harshly out of her thoughts. "You'll meet my father tonight. And Daemon."

Read the rest here

Taglist- @backyardfolklore @docmartinis @watercolorskyy @barbieaemond @bellaisasleep @yentroucnagol @aemondsbabygirl @randomdragonfires @at-a-rax-ia @violetletovi @launotfound @helaenaluvr @solisarium

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen x you #aemond targaryen x fem!reader #aemond targaryen #hotd #hotd fanfic #hotd x reader #aemond smut #house of the dragon #aemond targaryen smut

212 notes · View notes

discotreque · 4 years

Text

LwD 1.10, “No Small Parts”

Well, that was the most fun I've had watching Star Trek in literally a quarter of a century.

I had high hopes for this series. I love TAS, largely because of its wacky outsized concepts that could only have worked in animation—not that they all did work, but the potential was so apparent to me, even as a kid reading the Alan Dean Foster novelizations—and as an adult, there's something about the imagination of Lower Decks's FX setpieces that transcends even the glorious CGI bonanzas of Discovery.

Pause for a confession. I've long pushed back against criticism of serialization in new Trek. That's just how TV is now, okay? Might as well complain about it being in widescreen. But I'm backing down a little, because I've realized there is something about Star Trek that's inextricable from at least a partially-episodic format. And while Picard was telling a different kind of story, I can't deny that my favourite episodes of Disco have been the ones with a mostly self-contained A-plot. After 10 delightfully episodic instalments of LwD, its focus on long-term development of characters instead of a season-spanning puzzle-plot (okay, mostly just Mariner, but we only have 10 × 22 minutes and she is the star) has been downright refreshing.

So here we are, at the end of the most consistent and well-executed Season 1 of a Star Trek series since, arguably, Those Old Scientists. And sure, if they'd had to produce another... yikes, 42 episodes? Then sure, they probably would have dropped a clunker or two—but they didn't, and winning on a technicality is still winning. I'm practically vibrating with excitement for Disco to come back next week, but damn, I'm going to miss this little show while it's on hiatus.

Spoilers below:

Something I've been keeping track of finally paid off this week! (Which never happens to me, lol.) The destruction of the USS Solvang marked the first present-day death(s) of any Starfleet officer on Lower Decks, the only other on-screen killing at all being a flashback in "Cupid's Errant Arrow". Which makes sense, being (a) a comedy, and (b) about typically "expendable" characters: it hasn't been afraid to flirt with a little darkness here and there, but killing people off at Star Trek's usual pace wouldn't just be wrong for the tone, it would be downright bizarre.

But... people die on Star Trek. That's one of the core themes of the show, really: space is full of knowledge and beauty, but also danger and terror, and believing that the former is worth the risk of the latter is (according to Trek) one of humanity's most noble traits. I'm the least bloodthirsty TV watcher I know, but the longer we went with a body count of nil—ships completely evacuated before they were destroyed, main characters hilariously maimed without permanent consequences, etc.—well, I didn't mind per se, but the absence of truly deadly stakes was definitely getting conspicuous.

Turns out they were saving it up for maximum impact. And holy fuck, I've never felt such a pit in my stomach watching a ship get destroyed that wasn't named Enterprise. It felt grim and brutal and somehow both much too quick and dreadfully inevitable—and yeah, it looked extremely fucking cool—and I'd like every other Star Trek property for the rest of time to take notes under a large bold heading labeled RESTRAINT.

Comedy doesn't need to do this, but my favourite comedy does, and in a way that few other art forms can even approach: lower my emotional defences by making me laugh, endear character(s) to me with goofy-but-relatable antics—then BAM, sucker-punch me in the motherfucking feels. M*A*S*H is probably the classic example on TV, Futurama was notorious for it, and even Archer has pulled it off a few times; it's also a staple of some of my favourite standup. I wasn't sure if Lower Decks was going to go there in Season 1—and wasn't sure if they'd earn it—but I knew if they did, that they'd nail it, and damn. Feels good to be right.

Last batch of notes for the season!!! I rambled enough already, so let's do it liveblog-style:

I fucking KNEW they were going to use "archive" visuals from TAS at some point, I KNEW IT :D

"THOSE OLD SCIENTISTS" ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I like chill and confident Boimler a lot? You can really see—

oh bRADWARD NOOOOO

That opening shot of the Solvang tracking down to the red giant was extremely Discovery-esque... minus the motion sickness, that is

A lady captain AND a lady first officer? That's—oh hey, it's Captain Dayton's brand-new ship. Hahaha, that means they're totally fucked, right?.

Yep! They sure a—umm, wh—shit, okay, but—oh no—no, you can't—wait DON'T

...fuck

FUCK.

Narrator: "And then Amy needed a five-hour break."

[live-action Star Trek showrunner voice] "Gee, Mike! Why does CBS let you have two cold opens?"

Okay, yes, the bit with Rutherford cycling through all the different attitudes in his implant was transparently an excuse for Eugene Cardero to vamp while waiting for something to do in the story, but as far as I'm concerned they can contrive a reason for him to do a bunch of different silly Rutherfords in a row any time they damn well want, because that was classic!!!

EXOCOMP EXOCOMP EXOCOMP EXOCOMP

AND THE EXOCOMP IS PAINTED LIKE THE EXOCOMP IS WEARING A LITTLE EXOCOMP-SIZED STARFLEET UNIFORM

EXOCOMP!!!!!

The slow burn and now the payoff of the Mariner-is-Freeman's-secret-daughter plot has been executed so well. I'm beyond impressed with this writer's room, y'all—they are threading a hell of a needle here

"Wolf 359 was an inside job" would have been a spit-take if I'd had anything in my mouth

...how many memos do you think Starfleet Command has had to issue asking people to stop calling the USS Sacramento "the Sac"?

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THEY'VE DECORATED THE SHUTTLECRAFT SEQUOIA THOUGH

Is, uh, is it weird if I'm starting to ship Tendi and Peanut Hamper a little? It is weird, isn't it. I knew it was weird...

Coital barbs??? I take back everything I said about wanting to know more about Shaxs/T'Ana.

The "good officer" version of Mariner is... kind of hot, tbh! But Tawny Newsome has done such a great job of building this character all season that her voice getting uncharacteristically clipped and martial and "sir! yes, sir!" is also deeply, deeply weird

Ah, so this is literally exactly like when TNG (and DS9) would bring in, and then blow up, a never-before-seen Galaxy-class ship, just to underscore that we're facing a real threat this week, baby. And hey, it fucking worked—my heart was in my throat, omg, for the reveal of the—

PAKLEDS?????????

The fucking PAKLEDS have been gluing weapons to their ships for the last 15 years. GREAT.

(We interrupt the SHIP BEING SLICED INTO SCRAP for an interesting bit of world-building: on Earth, the traditional First Contact Day meal is salmon!)

"I need a dangerous, half-baked solution that breaks Starfleet codes and totally pisses me off! That's an order." I'm starting to think Captain Freeman might actually be overqualified for the Cerritos, y'all—she's REALLY awesome

OH SHIT IT'S BADGEY, this is a TERRIBLE IDEA

"How much contraband have you hidden on my ship?" "I don't know! A lot!"

Awwww, Boims!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA, FUCK THIS, PEANUT HAMPER OUT

BADGEY NOOOOO

AUGHHHHH WHAT THE CHRIST DID HE JUST—BUT—RUTHERFORD'S IMPLANT????

RUTHERFORD!!!!!!!!!!

SHAXS!!!!!!

F U C K ! ! ! ! !

ahaIOPugdfhagntpgjrq90e5mgu90qe5;oigoqgw4ouegrw5SP;IAEHURVa IT’S THE TITAN???????????

IT'S CAPTAIN WILLIAM T. RIKER ON THE MOTHERFUCKING TITAN??????????

i'm screaming I'M SCREAMINGGGGGGTGGGTGQER;LBHAOIBVNV;OAPBIJNVagr;h;oagruipuwtnaetbaetgq35ghqet

I'M SO GLAD THIS WASN'T SPOILED FOR ME WTF

I AM WEEPING LIKE A CHILD

...

(Just a brief 20-minute pause this time)

And oh wow, seeing Will and Deanna hits different after Picard too, in a few different ways, which I may even get into later now that my heartrate is back to normal, lmao

Oh, I am always here for some jokes at the expense of the Sovereign class. The Enterprise-E sucked. They should have built a new bigger model of the D and new Galaxy-class interiors for the TNG movies, and I will die on that hill

OKAY, FINE, YOU GOT ME, RUTHERFORD × TENDI WOULD BE ADORABLE AND THIS IS ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD SETUP FOR IT

Awwww, Shaxs though :( Congrats on the single most badass death in Star Trek history, dude. The Prophets would—well, the actual Prophets would probably be slightly confused about most of it, but Kira Nerys would be proud of you and I feel like that probably counts for more. RIP, Papa Bear

I am here all damn DAY for the Mariner–Riker parallels, ahahahahaha

Pausing it to record my prediction that Boimler's commitment to not caring about rank anymore is going to last 3... 2...

Yep.

Bradward, how DARE YOU.

"Those guys had a long road, getting from there to here." OH FOR THE LOVE OF—

What a brilliant way to resolve and renew the various character arcs and relationships moving into Season 2! The writers could easily have brought everything back to status quo—chaotic Mariner fighting with her mom and being a bad influence on Boimler, etc.—and done another 10 just like these, but I suspect that wouldn't have been ambitious enough for these writers. What a blast. I cannot wait for more.

Thanks for following along, friends! Stay tuned for my (similarly patchy and amateur) coverage of Discovery, starting next week!

#star trek #star trek lower decks #lwd spoilers #lower decks spoilers #lower decks #amy's episode notes

57 notes · View notes

helloalycia · 5 years

Text

too much love [two] // kara danvers

summary: Kara comes round and has to face the after effects of the red kryptonite.

warning/s: none.

part one | masterlist

THIRD PERSON POV

After forcibly being given the antidote to cure Kara's exposure of Red Kryptonite, the blonde was now in an unconscious state at the DEO, where her sister, Alex, was awaiting her return.

Seeing her sister connected to the wires, laying there unconscious, wearing a suit that only connoted violence and evil... Alex felt pity for Kara. She knew that Kara would wake up and feel terrible. What she did as Supergirl and as Kara whilst being controlled by the Red Kryptonite wasn't even explainable. She had hurt people, both physically and mentally. It was almost impossible to repair the damage, but they would find a way.

First, she needed to wake up.

After a few hours of playing the waiting game, Alex finally saw slight movement coming from her sister's arms, and suddenly, the blonde's eyes shot open and she was panting hysterically, as if every breath she took would be her last.

"Kara!"

Alex rushed to her sister's side, only to see her face scrunched up with pain, and tears running down her face.

"Did– did I kill anyone?" Kara asked shakily through her tears.

Alex shook her head. "No... no, you didn't kill anyone."

Kara closed her eyes tightly, making more tears fall out, but she didn't care. Every memory of her under the influence was burned into her mind. It was as if she was there, watching from another perspective. She couldn't take control, only sit back and watch as she hurt the people she loved the most.

"Y/N," she breathed out, opening her eyes and widening them as she realised what had happened with their encounter. More tears rushed down her cheeks as she looked to her sister, shaking her head desperately. "No, I didn't mean it, Alex. I– I didn't mean it."

Alex furrowed her eyebrows, not knowing that Kara had spoken to her girlfriend whilst under the influence. "What was it, Kara? What happened?"

Kara, still in hysterics, could only see the saddened expression of her girlfriend in her mind. "I didn't mean to," she said, her voice hoarse and whiny because she was crying at the same time. "Every bad thought I ever had... it just came to the surface. I couldn't stop it. I tried, but–"

She stopped speaking when she remembered every terrible thing she uttered Y/N's way. Every comment, every laugh, every smirk.

"I almost hurt her," she said, her voice cracking as she remembered her actions before she left. "I didn't–" but she couldn't finish speaking because she was too ashamed with her own actions.

"She knows you're Supergirl," Alex stated, picking up on Kara's words.

Kara nodded lamely, shutting her eyes because they were too blurry with tears. "She hates me. I hurt her. I almost killed her. I– I– I–"

"Hey, hey, ssshhh," Alex comforted her sister, pulling her into a hug. "We're going to fix this. We'll explain. Everything will be okay. I promise."

Kara was shaking in her sister's arms, and tried so hard to believe her words. "I need her. I can't let her go."

Alex kissed the top of her head as she squeezed her comfortingly. "You won't have to. I won't let you..."

***

YOUR POV

The television was on. Some comedy, I presumed, because of the occasional laugh I would hear coming from the speakers. But I wasn't really paying attention. My eyes were there, and I saw what was happening, but my mind was elsewhere. Kara, to be exact.

Or was it Supergirl now?

All over the news she was. 'Supergirl gone rogue', 'National City's Own Enemy', 'No More Supergirl', and many more. She had practically caused a city-spread chaos. Terrorised Cat Grant herself. Made everyone fear her because of the powers and things she was capable of.

Something was wrong with her. Something had happened, and all anyone was doing now was fearing what would happen next. I guessed I was one of them, too.

Kara Danvers was Supergirl.

It had taken me a long time to get used to that fact. All night I had been kept awake, replaying the event that took place in my apartment. The one involving my heart breaking as the girl I loved walked out of my life last night.

Now, after running out of tears, I was just sat here on a Saturday morning, wallowing in my own pity. I didn't know who to call for comfort. None of my parents lived here. I had no siblings to confide in. My best friend was Kara, and I didn't even want to imagine what she was doing right now. I couldn't talk to her. See her. She didn't want me, as she made perfectly clear last night.

I felt lost.

The vibration of my phone pulled me from my jumbled thoughts, and I saw that I was getting a call from Alex Danvers. Oh, so now she could call me? Probably to bribe me not to tell everyone that I knew Kara was Supergirl. Maybe she didn't trust me either.

"Alex, I'm not really in the mood to talk now," I grumbled as I accepted her call.

"I need you to meet me in my apartment, Y/N," she said, ignoring my comment.

I sighed heavily. "Alex, I don't want to–"

"I'll see you in ten minutes," she interrupted, then hung up before I could formulate a response in my mind.

I rolled my eyes and dropped my phone onto my blanket that covered my legs. I had no choice but to listen to the other Danver sister. She could literally knock me out if I didn't go.

After forcing myself to get ready and whatnot, I soon found myself at Alex's apartment door, knocking unenthusiastically. I wondered what could possibly be so urgent that she needed to drag me out of my apartment on a Saturday morning.

The door was pulled open and revealed an antsy-looking Alex Danvers. When her eyes met mine, she obviously seemed to have taken in my appearance; red eyes, messy hair, dark circles.

"Y/N," she breathed out.

Running a hand through my knotted hair, I said, "Look, if this is about Kara, don't worry. I won't tell anybody that's she's Super– woah!"

I was yanked inside Alex's apartment before I could finish my sentence, and watched as Alex slammed her front door shut. Turning around to face me, breathing slightly heavier than usual, she shook her head.

"It wasn't that, but I would certainly appreciate if you didn't let my whole apartment building know about Supergirl's identity," she rushed out.

I licked my lips, nodding my head with realisation. "Right, yeah. Sorry."

She nodded and motioned for me to take a seat on her couch. I did so and she followed suit, plonking herself beside me.

"I called you here to talk about Kara, yes," she confirmed my previous comment. "It's about what happened. Yesterday."

I sighed, pursing my lips. "There isn't really much to say..."

Alex kept her eyes trained on mine, but I couldn't look up to meet hers. I didn't want to see the pity in them, or be reminded of yesterday's event.

"The thing is, Y/N, that wasn't Kara or Supergirl."

This caught my attention, and I looked up, confusion evident in my expression. "What? What do you mean?"

She breathed out. "It was Kara, but it wasn't her saying all those things. She was exposed to Red Kryptonite and it changed her. Made her say all these terrible things and do these terrible things. It was the exposure to the Kryptonite that made her do everything she did, not her personally."

I chewed on the inside of my mouth as I tried to understand what she was saying.

"Kryptonite is Supergirl's weakness," she elaborated, before shaking her head. "That doesn't matter though. She was badly affected by it. It could have taken over her and made her like that forever if we hadn't found a way to stop it."

At the mention of Kara being hurt by this Red Kryptonite, I grew worried for her being. She was an alien, so she couldn't get hurt, could she? I felt my insides twist into knots as I thought about the blonde-headed girl. I needed her to be okay.

"She's sorry for not telling you that she's Supergirl. She had no–"

"Alex, I honestly don't care that she didn't tell me about her being Supergirl," I stated, before adding, "I care about her wellbeing. How is she? You said you helped her get better. Is she okay? She isn't hurt, right?"

Alex nodded her head. "She's currently residing at the D.E.O.," she informed me, though my confused expression betrayed how lost I was. Sucking up a deep breath, she said, "I couldn't tell you, but now you know about Kara, I guess I can... I'm a D.E.O. agent for National City's Headquarters. We protect National City from alien threats."

"And you're keeping Kara there? Who is an alien?" I raised an eyebrow, not understanding.

Alex bit her lip as she thought to herself, before saying, "It sounds weird, but she's safe there. She's no longer being controlled by the Red Kryptonite."

I felt slightly better knowing that Kara was safe and okay, but it didn't fully put me to ease.

"However, she is a little shaken up with everything that happened," Alex continued, making me worry even more than I already was. "She's aware of everything bad she's done, and, well, it's hurt her."

I frowned, looking down to my fingers which were picking at the thread on my jeans. Kara was the kindest person I'd ever met. She only wanted to help people, which made even more sense now that I knew she was Supergirl. So, I could only imagine how distraught she must have felt to be controlled into doing horrible things, and being unable to fight back.

"Can I see her?" I asked, looking up to Alex with desperate eyes. "I really need to see if she's okay."

She seemed ready to give me an excuse as to why I couldn't, but I said, "Please, Alex. I need to see her with my own eyes."

Unable to decline my request, she nodded hesitantly. "Okay, I guess that's okay. Seeing you might make her feel better..."

***

"Your sister is an alien, and now your boss is, too," I said to Alex, needing to say it out loud in order to come to terms with it. "I'm at an institute that has aliens in it. Aliens from other planets. Planets that aren't Earth."

"Yes, yes, yes, and yes," she agreed, before saying, "Now, come on, we're almost there."

Alex took me to the D.E.O. headquarters as promised, and after convincing her boss J'onn J'onzz, who was also an alien, (though a different one from Kara apparently), to let me stay in this supposed top-secret facility, she was leading me towards Kara's room. If it weren't for the fact that I was insanely worried about the Kryptonian's health right now, I probably would have been amazed at the institution that surrounded me, and all of the cool things it contained.

"It's here, come on," she said, leading me towards a room that had glass windows all around it. Some of the blinds were closed, but the few that were open allowed me to see through and witness Kara, sat up in her bed and appearing to be pulling at the wires that were connected to her.

"Uh, Alex...?"

Before I could ask the Danver sister what on earth Kara was doing, she was already racing forward and into the room. Noting that this wasn't a regular occurrence or expected behaviour, I followed Alex into the room, pausing when I saw Kara.

She was still in the same odd uniform that she approached me in yesterday, and she was sat up in a bed. Machines were surrounding her bed, and some of the wires leading from the machines were connected to her somehow, except here she was, ripping them out from her arm frantically. Her face was scrunched up with pain and tears were flooding from her red, puffy eyes. She looked so... broken.

"Kara, what're you doing?!" Alex exclaimed, rushing to her sister's side and pulling her hands away from the wires.

"I'm s-sorry, Alex," she stumbled out, shaking her head, her eyes trained on her sister's hands which were resting on her own. "I just– I don't deserve to get better. Not after everything– no, I just– I don't."

She hadn't noticed my presence, and all I could do was watch her sob helplessly, allowing her guilt to take over her. It broke my heart to see her like this; blaming herself, feeling worthless, helpless, useless. This wasn't the Kara I knew.

"Kara...," I said, making my presence known.

She quietened down and looked up, and I noticed her glassy blue eyes dull with fatigue, staring back at me. Her mouth opened, as if she had so much to say but nothing would come out, and she raised her hand, pressing on her forehead, trying to force the words out.

"Y/N," she finally sobbed out, and I couldn't help but go to her side and pull her into a hug.

Alex stepped back and decided to leave us alone for a moment, allowing me to move in closer, and I felt Kara sink into my embrace, crying into my shoulder. I settled on rubbing her back soothingly, and whispering into her ear.

"Kara, it's okay, you're okay."

She shook her head, pulling away. "It's not. Y/N, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I– I said so many horrible things to you and–" she paused, taking a deep shaky breath and tried to stop crying as she spoke. "Y-you didn't deserve that. I was so mean to you. So mean..." she stopped, unable to meet my gaze. All I could do was watch her break down. "I almost–" she stopped again, covering her mouth in shock as if she couldn't believe her own words. "I almost hurt you and I–"

Tearing up all over again, she couldn't finish her words, and I shook my head, raising my hands to wipe away her tears and cup her face. "Kara, I don't care about that. Any of it. That wasn't you. I only care about your safety. Please, don't feel like you're the one to blame. If wasn't your fault."

She sniffled, then looked down to her hands guiltily. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about me being Supergirl. I just couldn't. I didn't want to put you in any danger. I–"

"No way." I shook my head, making her look up at me with a frown on her face and tears in her eyes. "You're not apologising for that. You don't need to, okay? I don't care about that."

"But I–"

"No," I cut her off, pulling her into a hug before she could argue. "I don't– just– just let me hold you, Kara. Please."

She nodded, and I closed my eyes as I felt her wrap her arms around me. I melted into her embrace and felt extremely thankful that she was okay. She was safe.

When I pulled away, I took her hand in mine and played with her fingers subconsciously. "Kara, I just want to say something real quick..." She nodded as I tried to think carefully to how I would phrase this. "I don't– well, I'm sorry if– no, I mean, I don't mean to treat you like a kid. I don't mean to baby you. I just, I care too much about you, and I only want you to be safe."

"Y/N, please don't," she said, her voice breaking as she squeezed my hand. "You know I didn't mean to say those things. I love you so much, I'm sorry, I didn't–"

"Kara, please don't apologise," I said, meeting her apologetic gaze. "I just really need to say this. I mean, what you said had to have come from somewhere, right?" She opened her mouth, ready to argue, but I said, "It's okay. Just please let me say this. You were kind of right, and I want to make things good between us."

Sighing sadly, she nodded.

"I'm sorry I care too much for you," I said, frowning slightly. "I only want you to be safe and healthy and happy and I guess I let that get the best of me sometimes. But now I know you're Supergirl and you can look after yourself, maybe things will be different. I don't know. I just, I want you to know that I care about you so much, and if that gets in the way, please let me know. Promise me that."

When she didn't respond, I frowned even more. She was just staring at me, and she didn't even look like she was paying attention to my words, making me think that she genuinely disagreed and probably hated me for it.

"Kara, please answer..." I begged, my voice cracking at the end as I felt my throat close up again.

Suddenly, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine, taking me by surprise. I felt her hand shift up to my neck, holding me carefully as she kissed me with as much passion and love as she could muster right now. I found myself kissing back, tasting the saltiness of her tears in our kiss, and feeling the softness of her lips against mine. Her touch sent a tingling sensation all over my body, and as always, I only fell more and more in love with her.

When air became an issue for us, we pulled away reluctantly, and when I opened my eyes, I was met with her oceans of blue staring right at me.

"I'm sorry," she said, her eyes flickering from my lips up to my eyes. "I just love you so much."

Unable to stop the smile from forming on my face, I said, "I love you, Kara. More than you could ever know."

I had never felt more accomplished in life than I had right now, when I saw that beautiful smile of hers appear on her once guilt-stricken face.

God, she was so beautiful.

#kara danvers imagine #kara danvers x reader #kara danvers #melissa benoist #supergirl imagine #supergirl x reader #supergirl

220 notes · View notes

buffster · 7 years

Text

Doomed (BTVS 4.11)

This is part of my ongoing Buffyverse Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the shows. You can find the BTVS list here and the ATS list here. Gifs are not mine.

Doomed opens exactly where Hush closed--with Buffy and Riley silently staring at each other. There’s a distinct difference in the question they each have for the other: Buffy wants to know who Riley is while Riley wants to know what Buffy is. It’s already obvious that Riley has a job while Buffy has a calling.

Of course, Buffy already knows much more about the Initiative than Riley knows about the Slayer. She does learn the official name they have for supernatural creatures: HSTs, or Hostile Sub-Terrestrials. Hard to take them seriously with that name.

Buffy: I'm the Slayer. Slay-er. Chosen one? She who hangs out a lot in cemeteries? You're kidding. In every genera--You know, I really don't feel like doing the routine. Ask around. Look it up: Slayer comma The.

Amazing that Buffy’s ran into a group less competent than the Watcher’s Council. Buffy isn’t exactly thrilled Riley isn’t the normal guy she thought he was. After Angel, she’s just not looking for drama. Right now she’s looking for “not Angel” more than she’s looking for “new guy”.

For some reason (the inconvenience of moving him, perhaps?) Spike is continuing to live with Xander. I can see where all the Spander fics launched because they’re definitely arguing pretty bad. I’m assuming Xander’s parents haven't noticed their new house guest or they’d be demanding more rent. Spike is basically useless around the house and Xander demands he step up. Surprisingly, he tries...but ends up shrinking his clothes and having to wear Xander’s. I guess all-powerful vampires don’t have to bother with laundry.

Xander: No. You're not a guest. You're a vampire and you have no soul and I don't get exactly why we're not making you into Spike-on-a-stick.

Spike: Wish you would, if it's gonna be like this.

(breaks something) Property damage I can do.

Xander: That's it! I am way past through with you. Hate to break it to you, Oh, Impotent One, but you're not the"Big Bad" anymore. You're not even the "Kinda Naughty." You're nothing but a waste of space. My space. And as much as I always got a big laugh watching Buffy kick your shiny, white bum, and as much as I know I could give you a little bum-kicking myself now, I'm here to tell you...you're not even worth it.

Buffy has this habit of keeping her problems bottled up post-Angel. I think the confusion of her friends being traumatized from Angelus plus her still having feelings for him caused her to shut down. And honestly she never goes back to the way she was (I’m referencing her not talking to Giles or Willow about Riley being a commando, here).

Buffy: I've so got a reason. Pretty darn good one. The last time we had an earthquake, I died.

Giles: Yes. I know that. And therefore completely understand your anxiety.

Buffy: Oh, good. Hate for my little"untimely, horrible death"concern to be ambiguous.

Now that I’m thinking on it, Buffy’s death was brushed under the rug a bit. Thinking she was going to die had to be horribly traumatizing and probably left scars akin to being a survivor of a brutal attack. But BTVS doesn’t have time for PTSD.

Forrest: Well, the way I got it figured, Slayer's like some kind of Bogeyman for the Sub-Terrestrials. Something they tell their little spawn to get them to eat their vegetables and clean up their slime pits.

I found it a bit weird Riley doesn’t know about the tales of the Slayer while Forrest does. Riley ranks higher than him. Perhaps it’s alluding to his blinders when it comes to what he’s working for? Forrest, on the other hand, has narrowed everything down to black and white thinking: the HSTs are just animals. Riley hasn’t really looked into the Initiative while Forrest has and likes what he’s found just fine. I feel like I’ve seen this mentioned before, but I’m definitely getting Forrest-has-a-crush-on-Riley vibes. He’s super dismissive of Buffy and extremely jealous anytime Riley worries about her over him.

Willow decides to head to a party alone in the hopes that Buffy will eventually show. I hated when Willow overheard Percy mocking her. I really wanted to have some faith in humanity and believe the “jock” saw the “nerd”’s value. Willow ends up crying in some random dorm until she realizes she’s next to a dead body.

Buffy: Wow. See, I was kind of unsure about where the party was. And then I saw the flashing red lights and the ambulance, and it's like... oh, right, of course. Carnage. Death. It's a Buffy party.

After some research the gang and the Initiative realize something big is coming. We get to see that both sides have their advantages: Team Buffy has more knowledge of the occult while Team Initiative has convenient gadgets.

Giles: It’s the end of the world.

Willow: We did this already.

Xander: it is losing its impact a little.

Giles: End of the world. Divisions break down, Hell itself flows into our lives like a sea of fire. Loss,tears and heart-rending pain without end for every human man, woman and child on this earth. Death ten times over. For each of you and everyone you love.

Xander: Hmm. Feeling the impact again.

I love when a television show is able to make fun of itself, so I loved the exchange above. After the world is supposed to end multiple times you stop believing the heroes won’t stop it.

Buffy and Riley run into each other while on patrol and finally have The Talk.

Buffy: Can't... any of it. Can't be with you. It's a mistake, it's a huge black pit of a mistake and I can't go there again.

Riley: Again? You've dated me before?

Buffy: No. But I've been involved with...you don't know what my life is like.

Riley: And I'm dying to find out!

Buffy: Operative word: dying. There's too much risk -- there's too much... It's just doomed, okay, and I can't do doomed again right now.

Riley: I don't understand where this is coming from. I know you like me. And it's not like we don't have anything in common.

Buffy: But it's --

Riley: Buffy. I'm thrown by this. I'm confused. But I can feel my skin humming -- my hands, my... every inch of me. I've never been this excited by a girl and I'm not trying to scare you, not gonna force myself on you but I am by God not gonna walk away because I think it might not work. I don't know what's happened in the past --

Buffy: Death. Pain. Apocalypse -- none of them fun. Do you know what the Hellmouth is? Do they have a fancy term for it, 'cause I went to high school on top of it. For three years. We don't have that much in common. This is a job to you.

Riley: It's not just a job --

Buffy: It's an adventure, great, but for me It's destiny. It's something I can't escape, something I can't change. I'm stuck.

Riley: You don't have to be. You're not in high school anymore. You can change things.

Buffy: Riley... No.

Riley: I know it seems like --

Buffy: My answer is no.

Finding out Riley knows about the supernatural upped the intensity of their relationship in a way Buffy just wasn’t ready for. In the back of her mind I think she imagined slaying would stall and eventually end her relationship with him, which made him safe. She didn’t have to worry about going through something real again. But now that they could really fall for each other she’s running scared.

Xander: Is too. For one thing - that's my shirt you're about to dust. And for another - we've shared a lot here. You should have trusted me enough to do it for you.

Willow: Xander-

Xander: What? He wants to die. I want to help.

Spike attempts suicide (badly). I get they were trying to throw in a comedic moment there, but I don’t know...it feels like Spike hasn’t tried sufficiently hard to get the chip removed to throw in the towel. And I haven’t really seen signs of depression up until this point? I guess it must be difficult to change your lifestyle and not just forcefully take what you want after centuries, though. I’m not going to get into the politics of suicide here because the show kind of toys with what’s okay when it comes to vampires. It’s okay to murder them because they’re just things, so it’s not surprising it’s okay to mock their attempts to kill themselves.

Forrest: I don't know about this girl, man. She's got you whupped something fierce, and you haven't even--

Riley: You'd be wise not to finish that thought, private. Now carry on.

Forrest is gay Forrest is gay Forrest is gay

Riley: You've got this twisted way of looking at things. This -this doom and gloom mentality. You keep thinking like that, things are probably going to turn out just the way you expect.

Buffy: You know, there is nothing more dangerous than a psych grad student.

Riley: Buffy -- where's the bad here? It just turns out we're even more well matched than we thought we were. I mean, you're a--fry cook. And so am I.

Buffy: Right. But you're an amateur... fry cook and I come from a long line of fry cooks who don't live past twenty-five.

Riley: Which is exactly the attitude I'm talking about! I know the risks of what we do. I also know it's more rewarding than any other job on the planet. And fun-

Buffy: Fun? Right. The last person I knew who believed that is in a coma right now because she had so much "fun" on the job.

Riley: I'm not saying you shouldn't take your work seriously-

Buffy: But just turn my frown upside down, is that it? I wish I could - but this isn't the kind of gig where you hang it up at the end of the day and snuggle with your honey.

Riley: But why? Why can't it be?

Buffy: I've tried it, okay? And every time, things fall apart - and I get sucked right back into the uber evil.

Riley: Welcome to the story of the world! Things fall apart, Buffy. Evil - it comes and goes. But the way people manage is, they don't do it alone. They pull each other through. And, sometimes, they even enjoy themselves. If you weren't so self involved, you'd see that!

Buffy: You don't know what you're talking about. You barely know me.

Riley: I know that it's not just the job thing. I'm sure there's some good looking guy that done you wrong in there too but mostly I think you want to stay down in the dark place.'Cause maybe it's safer down there.

I’d like to point out that Buffy has picked up Angel’s habit of trying to run off in the middle of things. Or maybe they were just well matched there. I’m also going to go out on a limb and say at this point Riley hadn’t lost anyone on the job. He says he knows the risks like he doesn’t really know, know what I mean? Doesn’t this make you wonder if Riley was on the other side of this conversation with his future-wife post Buffy?

Spike: I should think you'd be glad to greet the end of days. I mean, neither one of you is making much of a go at it. You. Kids your age are going off to University -- you made it as far as the basement. And Red here. You couldn't even keep dog boy happy. I mean, you can take the loser out of high school-

Willow: I see what you're doing. You're trying to get us to dust you-

Spike: Am not. I just don't want pity from geeks more useless than I am.

Willow: We are not useless! We - we help people. We fight the forces of evil-

Spike: Buffy fights the forces of evil.You're her groupies. She'd do just as well without you. Better, I'dwager - since she wouldn't have to go about saving your hides all the time.

Xander: That is so not true. We're part ofthe team. She needs us.

Spike: Or - you're just the same 10th grade losers you've always been - and she's too much of a softy to cut you loose.

Man, Spike. Cut right to the heart of things why don’t ya? It makes sense we’re finally acknowledging Willow and Xander’s inferiority complex. It’s been in the background for awhile. We see from Spike’s smirk that he doesn’t really mean the things he says; he’s just trying to cause conflict. But he knows exactly how to do it.

I’m a big fan of nostalgia so I loved the scene back in Sunnydale High. I read in the script that we see Amy’s mom there but I missed that. I’ll have to look again. During the fight scene Spike learns he can fight demons, which is a great revelation for him that allows him to take out some aggression and feel strong again. Buffy and Riley team up to save the world.

Riley: Well, hey! Willow. Xander, right? What are the chances, huh? I was just passing by - and I thought I heard people inside-

Willow: You were just passing by...in your GI Joe outfit?

Buffy: No offense - but you are looking wicked conspicuous.

Riley: I am? But it's... paint ball and then the aftershock and I-

Xander: So you're one of the commando guys, huh?

Buffy, your Faith love is showing. Riley doesn’t recognize Spike (which, really? They really do view them as animals).

The episode ends with Buffy and Riley kissing. She’s decided to take the leap.

Character Notes:

Buffy Summers: She is a “Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius” making her birthday January 19. She labels herself (somewhat sarcastically) as passionate, artistic, and inquisitive. When she patrols she gets bored and memorizes things on masoulems like cereal boxes.

Riley Finn: His code name is “Lilac One”.

Willow Rosenberg: She’s very bothered by Percy calling her a nerd because she thinks she’s distanced herself from that. She was even dating a guitarist.

Xander Harris: When they need to leave Sunnydale High, Xander runs to help Spike out because he’s fallen down.

#doomed #spike #xander harris #Buffy summers #willow rosenburg #anya jenkins #Rupert giles #Marti Noxon #Jane Espenson #David Fury #xander/anya #Riley finn #Buffy/riley #suicide tw #faith lehane #Buffy/Faith #forrest gates

19 notes · View notes