#burglarly date

[amypihcs]

And hello again, dear friends! Here with the last letter from our most dear Watson!

Holmes seems to want to shock his husband Watson

YES! I'M SEEING THE GRANADA SCENE!

Watson's 'a-ha, jolly good' -you're married to ME, Holmes. PLEASE.- And then FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, HOLMES. This scene is peak comedy. Also, they're the cutest

And then, well...

Holmes is not a fan of the idea, but he is more callous than usual in this case. He usually cares SO much, but here he needs to do it and WILL do it.

And when i mean he'll do ANYTHING

I mean ANYTHING.

Also, let's consider that it's pouring, so Watson's wounds mustn't be the happiest right then. Well, Watson is DEFINITELY not enthusiastic. But Holmes has his point, eh

VERY MUCH justifiable. very very much.

Well, anyway, i'm going. No you don't come.

Alright, alright, YOU COME. This is the ONLY thing that might made me thing this whole story happens after the hiatus. Watson refusing to let Holmes go alone. But otherwise, it's IMPOSSIBLE that it happens so late!

Also you must, MUST, i say, LOVE Watson.

Very weak protest before accepting. After all you've shared a room for years, right? ;3

Being arrested for a real crime would be funny!

And in fact Holmes does have another tiny reason

HE FINDS IT FUNNY! It would be a GREAT HOBBY FOR HIM! LET ME TRY, WATSON, COME OOOON! -sigh- OF COURSE.

Holmes: I see you have a natural turn for this sort of things Watson, a true husband: I wonder where i learnt it... -kissy to his Holmes-

Well, well, you can see the following in the image up there

You DRESS WELL before a burglarly date! Of course! And they are at Milverton's!

You DON'T have to be so mean to poor Aggie! You should apologize to her afterwards! Well, lucky thing that Milverton sleeps soundly!

SEE??! She even locked up the dog! And yeah, Holmes DISLIKES dogs. A LOT.

Burglarly time! Hand in hand!

Holmes is a confirmed CAT. So he leads Watson through the room...

AND TO THE SAFE! Now down to forcing it. And should someone enter, Watson, you can just bonk him over the head with a chair. You seem to have... ah, a natural turn for this sort of things.

Holmes' hobby of forcing safes is so cool toh! And he's good at it!

FUCK! Stacca stacca c'han sgamati

QUICK! HIDE! (At least here he isn't forgetting the skeleton key in the lock!)

Milverton's here... be quiet!

Watson, Watson. Your habit for cliffhangers!

We'll see how the date ends in the next episode!! Lots of love, darlings!

#letters from watson #sherlock holmes #dr watson #John watson #burglarly date #gotta love holmes' hobbies #victorian husbands #jeremy brett #unnecessarily handsome #edward hardwicke #the dark side #asexual falling hard for actors from an 80s show

[punnyasitgets]

[cha cha slide voice] reverse!

Freeze! Everybody clap your hands!

Ok so Catwoman Guardian of Gotham was a disaster so I'm taking it into my own hands. Only Bruce and Selina are swapped and Alfred still exists, not. The weird maid lady and Bruce is Not a bloodthirsty murderer

This got Very long so it's under a cut

Selina's parents were murdered by Joe Chill and she vowed to never let anyone feel the same pain she did, hence why she later became Catwoman

Bruce grew up on the streets with his big brother Thomas taking care of them both, but Thomas ended up killing a guy in a mugging and got sent to prison and left Bruce on his own

Catwoman hears about a number of high-profile thefts (museums, aristocrats) springing up and starts trying to track down the cat burglar and ends up interrupting a burglarly from a wealthy woman's penthouse

She chases the burglar down and they have a fight on the rooftops where they kick the everloving shit out of eachother but the burglar throws her off the roof and when she gets back up he's gone

Next night, she attends a charity event and meets an activist and fundraiser by the name of Bruce Wayne and they have a nice chat and hit it off

In the middle of it, a waiter bumps Selina in the side right over where her ribs got cracked from the other night and she doubles over so Bruce helps her out of sight and asks what happened

She tells him she tripped down the stairs of her house but he does Not believe it and ends up sticking by her the rest of the night, at the end of which Selina is like. "He's nice I think" and invites him out for lunch soon

Jump a day or two and Selina runs into the burglar again but this time he's got full body armor and a bat motif and she is Not Happy With This Development

Bruce stole a ton of armor and weaponry from the GCPD and made his own suit because Selina rly messed him up the last time they met

So they fight and Bruce hits her in the side and it floors her and he is like. Wait A Minute, but she recovers and he's forced to run

And then over a period of a month or two, Bruce starts hanging out with Selina in the day (lowkey stalking her to see if his wild theory is right) and while over at her manor he spots a bloodstain on her shirtsleeve from a wound that bled through the bandages she was wearing and when he questions her she says she cut her arm open on a nail accidentally and it's not a big deal but he's just. Hm

Also during this period, Catwoman keeps showing up to stop all of Batman's robberies and he's really getting sick of it because he's been using the money from his stolen goods both to like, feed himself but also to support a gang of homeless kids in the neighborhood he lives in and to help provide food for the local orphanage and it's getting Really Hard To Do That When He Can't Steal Stuff

So basically he knows she's Catwoman and Selina is his friend and he's just. I Have An Idea

Batman starts going out more often just to taunt Catwoman while she's on patrol and he starts going to other rogues like Two-Face and Cobblepit to egg them on and he actively breaks Bane out of prison and the Riddler out of Arkham just to set them loose

He's basically manufacturing a crime wave to try and wear Catwoman out and it's working

She's really exhausted because of all this and every time she has to make an appearance in public she's all tired and struggling to keep it together and Bruce makes a point to be there and to cover for her whenever she's too overwhelmed

Eventually Catwoman gets severely injured during a fight and she's too far from the Cave so, not really having another option, she shows up passed out in Bruce's apartment bleeding out and he's all surprised and helps her and gives her impromptu medical care but never pulls off her mask

Selina wakes up on his couch and he's asleep in a chair he pulled up next to her and she's like :] and leaves him a thank you note before going

So Batman has basically become priority one but he keeps causing so many new problems to spring up that she can't actually go after him while he commits a robbery spree, and every tine she deals with everything else he goes to ground for weeks on end

All the while Bruce is there being Supportive Friend Of The Year and they keep going out to eat and they spend events together and it's Grand

Eventually Bruce asks her out! And she's like. Oh No because while she likes him, she genuinely doesn't know if she can handle being in a relationship at the moment but she doesn't want to say no so she gives a tentative yes and so they're dating

Luckily he is a very understanding man and whenever she has to dip out to be Catwoman or when she's too tired to go out he's all "oh it's fine, I can reschedule" and it's a Very Big Relief

Batman goed to ground after another round of Mess With Catwoman and he stays that way for like three months and she puts all her rogues away so for the first time in a While she has proper free time to spend with Bruce and it's lovely! And shes like. "If this is how our relationship is, I don't want it to end" but because she's Catwoman and she doesn't know that she could hide it from Bruce if they were married and so one night she shows up in his apartment as Catwoman and shows him that she's Selina and he's just "!!!!! Oh that explains a lot, that's really awesome"

He swears he'd never tell anyone about her identity and makes a joke about how because Selina makes herself seem so ditzy at parties, nobody would believe him anyway and so Selina proposes to him the next night and they end up getting married and Bruce moves into the manor ❤️

Unfortunately Batman comes back and he pulls a pro gamer move which involves releasing every inmate from Arkham and Blackgate, including but not limited to her entire rogues gallery

So she's having a Time and literally just can't handle everything and every time she does well against a rogue Batman swoops in out of nowhere to divert her and really it's exhausting and she's working herself to the bone

Eventually she manages to wrangle most of them but the Joker is still on the loose and Batman keeps evading her and she Has Not Slept For Four Nights

While she's in the Cave, Alfred makes a comment about how at night it always gets so nerve wracking, especially since Bruce tends to leave after she does and Alfred is worried he might get caught up in something dangerous considering Batman and the crime wave and Selina is like

"He leaves the house at night??? [wh]" And Alfred gets confused tells her how he can never find Bruce in the manor from around eleven pm to two in the morning so he assumes Bruce goes out to visit friends or to deal with personal business and he tells her abt how he asked Bruce about it and he told Alfred that he and Selina had already talked about it

And Selina is just. "He was lying to you, I had no idea he was going out" which makes her Very Suspicious

She can't Do anything about it because she's trying to track down supercriminals but she checks the manor security feeds and she can't find any trace of Bruce leaving which is Concerning

Basically she ends up finding the Joker and stopping him from bombing the city and he gets sent back to Arkham, but before she can go home Batman shows up and they facedown on the roof

Batman goes all "I really didn't want to do this but you gave me no choice" and then starts trying to kill Selina

He gets a bunch of good stabs in but Selina seems to get the better of him and so he runs and she follows him into an apartment building but loses him in the hallways

She spots a bomb behind one of the doors and realizes the building is about to explode so she gets out of there just before it does and Batman corners her with a gun on a nearby roof

He tries to kill her again but Selina manages to get close and hits the gun away

Batman tries to run but she grabs him by the cape and yanks him back and manages to rip his cowl off before he gets away, at which point she sees that it's Bruce and she's Horrified

And it finally clicks that Batman has been trying to get every other criminal in Gotham to either kill her for him or wear her out so that he can do it himself, which would Also be killing Selina Kyle, and since she doesn't have any other heir, Bruce would get her fortune

And she's all "why would you do all this" and he gets really angry and starts telling her all about the people that aren't as privileged as her and he basically tells her that he wants her money so he can use it to help the people living in the East End and the Narrows, since Selina and the other aristocrats of her stature didn't know the problem like he did and refused to help

So Selina is just baffled that he'd go this far and he apologizes to her genuinely before he tries to kill her one last time because now that she Knows, this is his last chance to get away with the plan

It doesn't work, Selina fights him off and manages to get cuffs on him but he gets away and Selina goes home and Divorces That Man Immediately but also realizes that while he was living with her he'd been stealing things like jewelry she never wore or fancy paintings from rooms nobody ever went into and she is just Not Pleased

But she also allocates a ton of money towards charity projects focused in the more rundown areas of Gotham and actively starts funding all sorts of orphanages, soup kitchens, clinics, etc

She tries to track Bruce down but he's just Gone and so she lets it go even though she's very heartbroken and sad that he tried so hard to kill her

#bat and cat swap #batman #catwoman #dc comics #gaysonlyocean #adobe decrees #tysm rat 🥺

[bykevinmcguire]

Suspended Oklahoma DB Will Sunderland turns himself in for felony burglarly charge

Suspended Oklahoma DB Will Sunderland turns himself in for felony burglarly charge

Days after an arrest warrant was issued, Oklahoma defensive back Will Sunderland turned himself over to authorities. According to The Oklahoman, Sunderland turned himself in on Tuesday and has since been released after posting a bond of $5,000. He was charged with second-degree burglary, a felony.

Sunderland will have to appear in court at a date to be determined. In the meantime, he remains…

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#Lincoln Riley #Will Sunderland

[amypihcs]

Hello friends!! End of the story today, let's see!

Our Watson is... JUST A BIT put off by the tools he has to carry.

Just a little bit. And here our Holmes is!

C'mon, he's getting better at being a good husband. Worrying about if Watson has eaten and offering him the coffee. Good guy Holmes, that's how a date works!

Now he explains, of course his discoveries and his plan.

Giggling and twirling his hair DAMNIT IT'S TOO SHORT twirling his CIGAR thinking about how he surprised his Watson. And this would be an emotionless being? A cold man? Do me the PLEASURE.

Ah... sorry... i've just... Sorry lemme check a thing---

Ah yes. I remembered right. -Insert mine and watson's sigh.-

But as we all know, Watson can't refuse anything to his man

Yes, Watson, we get it, he wanted to kiss you then and there. Also, I love Holmes' way to convince Watson! And the pleasepleaseplease Watson, be careful.

Burglarly time!!

Efficient. I must say, efficient.

And the theory proves right! Also Watson kissed Holmes in between the two sentences, just a peck on the lips. On to pass the house through with a fine comb. And LO! They found something!

Look at him, he's VIBRATING!

Well, we need to tell it to brother Mycroft!

Grumpy Lestrade, he finally got PROOF of their ways™ , not that he didn't suspect already, and satisfied Mycroft. He always knew his little brother could do it! He WOULD make the best cat burglar in London if he put his head to it!

Now, now, don't worry Lestrade, it's not like he's making an habit of it.

He already has one. Spot of burglarly tonight at 8? All in? And today is poor Watson's time to fidget. Take care of your husband, Holmes! Can't you see he's anxious? Burglarly time 2.0

This is more or less how it went SH, Already sitting on the railing: Now we just need to climb up here... MH, Shaking his head vigorously: You can FORGET IT, petit frére, not all of us have such energy Sh, sighing: Boring. Watson, dear, would you... -insert puppy eyes- JW, too amused for his own good: Of course, Holmes -proceeds to giggle-

Now the boring part of a stakeout. Waiting.

Lol, this always makes me laugh. Why is Lestrade always written as a man who can't stay in ambush without getting fidgety. He should be the most used to it of the four!

Holmes throws their suspects across the room, the suspect sees himself discovered and proceeds to faint. With ladies it works, why not with a gentleman? (unless it is miss Westbury, but i SOMEHOW doubt it-)

And in fact. I believe Holmes suspected of the other clerk? But yeah, Watson can write you as an ass, he deserves it sometimes. we just know he'll NEVER do it, he's just too smitten

Ehm, Colonel... Sorry to break it to you this way but... Holmes DID kill people in his career. Dr Roylott, to name one, Moriarty, to name a more recent one, soooo. yep. Not a great thing to brag about. Hehehe, let's set a tiny trap for Oberstein.

A saturday coffee in the family so we can capture a spy and retrieve state secrets!

UUUUH.

I do think Holmes was not allowed to bring his emotional support Watson to Windsor with him. The Queen, who said queen, nobody said queen, the LADY would've found easier to deal with the couple then with the detective alone. Talking for her benefit, eh!

#letters from watson #sherlock holmes #john watson #dr watson #mycroft holmes #inspector lestrade #grumpy lestrade #burglar holmes #lucky he's not a criminal indeed #acd johnlock #i'm shipping them sooooo hard