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fyodorloveclub · 8 days

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Toji who loves how you treat Megumi. Jumping him slightly as you reassure him about moving into his own big boy room and Toji fixes up the bed. But he can't help but watch ad you reassure your son that you're just going to be in the next room. When you put him down so he can play, Toji rushes to wrap arms around your waist before picking you up to pepper kisses all over your face and he swears he's never been more in love

- Bryn

BRYNNNN SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

megumi is sooo nervous about moving into his own room and being away from his parents so the 2 of u work together slowly to warm him up to it, first spending a couple nights sleeping on his floor at night in his room, then just you sleeping in there, then just toji sleeping in there. it was so sweet the way toji got his room all ready for him, plugging in a spiderman nightlight and buying him a bedspread of his favorite tv character and setting up a white noise machine/music player or whatever would be most comforting for megumi. but of course you’ll first read at least 3 books to him and sing to him. you both just love your boy so so much :(

and when you finally both make it back to your bed after reassuring megumi you both are just right there in the room next to him, you can’t help but be nervous yourself. but toji is so so sweet, hugging you close and kissing your forehead and telling you everything will be ok - he’s so, so comforting abt it, even if he’s a little anxious abt his little boy growing up too.

and yes, he loves watching you hold and smile and giggle with megumi, it makes his heart absolutely melt, and once megumi is on the floor he can’t help but grab you and spin you in circles and tell you and give you a million kisses bc he’s so so so in love and can’t imagine life without you :((

#voices in my head #{ musings; toji }#lovers

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housecatclawmarks · 3 years

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I do think a lot about dane menkin’s misogyny, homophobia, general demeaning and condescending attitude. I think a lot abt how he tried to outright lie to me and tell me the mazzoni didn’t approve Informed Consent HRT for nonbinary people just to try and get me to think I couldn’t go on it, which wld have worked potentially if I a) was actually nonbinary and b) didn’t already know it was bullshit. I think a lot abt how the fact that he (a trans man) has a reputation for being great to trans men who want to go on hrt and horrific to transfemmes is this like open secret that never makes it into any media about him and his work. I think abt how like. I went to see him for the first time at fifteen. And I knew other guys of similar age & gender presentation who did the same, and had him be totally respectful and ask all the right questions. But like as soon as he asked about my sexuality and I responded accurately the way he talked to me became inappropriate, insulting, and purposefully misleading. The fact that he put me on a birth control that made me incredibly suicidal simply because he didn’t listen when I told him abt my depression diagnosis & didn’t tell me any of the common side effects so I couldn’t make an informed choice. The fact that he, unprompted, tried to give me inaccurate information about HIV risk factors to prevent me from sleeping with men. The fact that he took personal offense at me not wanting to get back on suicide inducing birth control and tried, again, to keep me from going on hrt despite the informed consent model and full support of my parent. Like. I think about the things he has done and the way he has treated other patients, ESPECIALLY trans women, all while being lauded as some kind of progressive expert on medical transition. It makes me livid that he continues to make a living off of doing this shit to his own community, and then being Praised for it and I don’t know what the trans people of Bryn Mawr are dealing with from him right now but I really would like to, because I don’t think he should get away with his bullshit anymore, I don’t think anyone should be shamed or intimidated into being quiet about it or only passing on the information amongst ourselves.

#aaron says things #this man is my enemy #the way that everyone denied and questioned my very real & traumatic experiences is still so surreal #it wasn’t until recently that I actually heard of other ppl experiencing this same stuff with him even tho it does not surprise me #but like within the Philly trans male medical community it’s like #not acknowledged at All at it felt like ppl wld rather have it stay that way then give a shit abt what I went through with him

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corvidshipping · 3 years

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sometimes i feel a little bit guilty abt what kind of character bryn has become, like despite them sharing my exact trauma and upbringing and almost everything that’s unrealistic about them serving as a metaphor for very real things i’ve been through, i’ve still given them these cool powers and skills and they’ve become this very outspoken take-no-shit person who survives very well even in a place like ke.tter.dam that breaks down even strong people, it’s very clear that’s a far cry from who i am irl

but also, i feel like it’s kind of my god given right to write myself as a sickle-wielding fire-starting vigilante criminal who poisons men who take advantage of women and is quite literally etched into the history of the city as a ghost story that kids whisper about to each other on the streets. and also be soft on a gunslinger. so like ??

#paper_heart.txt #s/i: bryn eriksdottir

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s-lay-ing · 4 years

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I cannot believe my procrastination led me to get this done a week into 2020 😂 and this was done v quickly and i know it looks terrible (don’t worry i know) because Nothing will top the appreciation post i made years ago. I wish i had actually done a much better research to include all my favorite groups but if i were to do it i would end up posting this in march or something 😂

I don’t handle sentimentalism well and tbh i doubt everyone will read this so long story short i wanted to thank everyone who made my experience in this hellsite more bearable. This goes from long time friends to recent encounters to people who reply to my rambless and to everyone who for some reason still follows the mess that my blog is. I sincerely from the bottom of my self wish you nothing but wonderful things for this new year, lots of growth, good health and all the great things! 🐙

The Squad™ goes under the cut:

Okay no truth is i sent all of you personal messages wishing you lots of good things and but i feel like not everybody received them bc i sent like 198312 so perhaps tungle thought: spam! *blocked* - hence why i decided to do it this way instead! I really don’t believe in “follow forevers” since you know: people change, tastes change, some deactivate and all that but i do think a little appreciation is harmless so why not? :D

I’ll keep this short and sweet, in no particular order:

♡ @tucksoo : fanz!!!! i literally bursted of happiness when i heard abt you going to see svt!!!! it’s what you deserve!!!! i’ve seen the hardships you’ve endured this past year so i definetely hope this year will be a trillion times better for you! tell bean i love him ;-; 💕

♡ @jeongjarsofhannie : another of my oldest friends! i’m assuming you’ve been very busy with your job but you still make some time to pass by here, the hhs wouldn’t be the same without you for sure! i hope your job and your field overall keeps you happy and that this year is full of blessings for you! ❤️

♡ @pledisanti : nomi nomi nomi!!!! me finding out you were back was quite literally the comeback of the year!!! you are as sweet as you were when we met back then when you were page17 and so many other urls 😅 as far as i know you graduated last year and now you’re at uni so i hope everything goes peaches for you and that you get to enjoy the many experiences uni brings! 💛

♡ @seokyomie : lyns!!! i know you decided to take a break from this hellsite and tbh? *standing ovation*. You being an intellectual who actually appreciates the masterpiece that is Going Seventeen i wish you lots of wonderful things for this year! 💙

♡ @svtsgirl : julianna!!!!!! that trip to japan, what a dream!!! i assume you had the greatest time over there so i hope you get to experience that again at whichever place you’d like to visit. wish you all the best things for this year! stay sweet and cute as usual! 💜

♡ @1oveair : aimee! another iconic comeback! when i saw the ‘archive’ next to your former url i went all :// but glad to see you back!!! you’re the nicest, boldest person i’ve seen here and your rants are 10/10 because you’re right and you should say them! i hope this year is fantastic for you and your precious kittens (and i hope your heart feels so warm when seeing jihoon live!!!!!) ❣️

♡ @seokminseok : mo!!! finding carat-ls here is kind of difficult but you have such a fantastic url that combines both, your mind!!!! thank you for being so sweet and so nice and i hope you get to travel again with your friends like you stated some time ago, it seems you really enjoyed it so!!! 💞

♡ @mvpgyu : bryn!! i know you were quite absent from this website for the most part of the year so i hope everything was alright with you and your fam. Wish you many many good things for this year as well!! 💓

♡ @aceshua : lin!!!! another comeback of the year!!!!! where was my support when ksoo enlisted? ;-; (jkjk) okay no but honestly i’m so happy to see you back!!! i hope this year is full of cool things for you and who knows? maybe this is the year i get to actually invest time into knowing more abt ateez ;)) 💗

♡ @cheonsajeonghan1004 : shay!!! another key element in our hhs!!!!! you’ve been sooooooo nice since day one and you still are and i truly appreciate that! i sincerely wish the absolute best for you and your loved ones for this year! (it doesn’t matter who ends up tagging first in hannie posts bc we’re both winners losers in the end 😂) 💖

♡ @cheolsbae : juli!!!!!!! i still remember when you told me my dumb tags made you laugh :(( i literally use the tag section to ramble nonsense idk why you found them funny 😂 but anyway everything has been escalating for the best since then so thank you for being so nice!!! espero que este year sea fantastico para ti!!! 💝

♡ @chiwoopsie : megan!!!!!! my rambless are quite literally NONSENSE yet you still cheer em up for some reason ;-; thank you for being super sweet and endearing 🤧 glad to see you graduated so i hope you get to enjoy whatever you’ve set for your future! wish you lots of marvelous things! 💘

♡ @je0nghans : jessie! right, i don’t exactly know what convinced you to follow this boring blog but like i said some time ago hannie's nation gotta stick together i suppose 😅 your content is 10/10 and always relatable when it comes to him. wish you a great year!! 💟

♡ @my1ady : okay so i went to your blog to find your name but i ran into a post saying you’d like to remain anonymous here... followed by a post giving our your name 😂 but regardless! you’re hands down the Funniest blog here!!!!!! your tags always make me laugh so much, specially the ones abt ksoo being latino because facts! i hope this new year is full of nice things for you!!! 🖤

Yeah so i really don’t know how to end this post so i’ll just say: Groove by exo & Shh, Hit and Getting Closer by seventeen? Songs of the Year ✌️

#i hope tungle doesnt mess this up and actually notifies ppl #anyway happy new year everyone!!!!!!!!

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damnfinecup · 7 years

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♠

For every ♠ I receive, I will post a headcanon about my muse!BONUS: Specify a topic and I’ll make it about that topic!

( beats fists on table ) DALE ! BARTHOLOMEW ! COOPER ! IS ! CHAOTIC ! GOOD ! AT ! BEST !

i made a post a bit earlier abt this perception of dale that he’s a cinnamon roll, and like. it bothers me so much. but i also totally get it because i used to feel the same until i read my life, my tapes. however: even if you have been only introduced to the show, putting dale under the category of lawful good is Horrendous and Shameful, how very dare of u. in the show i could understand someone maybe thinking he’s neutral good, but he’s totally chaotic good, and tbh as a kid and growing up he was probably even on the chaotic neutral side cause he was Wild AF. every time this happens i clench my fist and run through an itemized list of everything fbi special agent dale cooper has ever done to completely contradict this. off the top of my head:

he broke into a girl’s sexual/reproductive education class, and his reasoning was For Science

he spies on his best friend’s / neighbor’s sister, marie schlurman (MARIE IS SO IMPORTANT !!!) through her open curtains, making special note to his recorder when she’s naked, and other general shenanigans that comes with spying on young girls

he got mad when a girl he liked ended up dating another girl, and got Real Extra, Real Quick. he considered: poisoning himself to get her attention, lighting her house on fire while everyone was out of the house before offering her a place to stay at his home, just straight up lighting the rival girlfriend’s house on fire, or forget the girl and become a better boy scout. “Each plan has merit, and risk. Though all, I believe, will be very satisfying in the end.”

then he just blew up the rival girlfriend’s mailbox because nothing is a better time than hate crimes when you’re an angsty 15 year old

it’s implied that he poisoned the food of a rival boy scout’s group when they were terrorizing his troop. he was pleased to announce: “The Nazis suffered a mysterious case of food poisoning. Much vomiting and retching could be heard all last night. Never slept better.”

he doesn’t like birds because he was attacked by one one time, so he killed a crow for no apparent reason, and proceeded to have an existential crisis (aka the quote from my promo lmao)

instead of just going home with his boy scout troop after their jamboree-thing, he decided Fuck The Bus, and he went on a mini adventure over three days where he traveled home by himself, primarily spending his time with some drugged-up hippy lesbians. “I am driving. I do not have a license. I have never driven before, and am driving around in a vehicle that I believe could put a drugstore out of business. April said I would do just fine and kissed me very long and hard. If caught, will probably spend most of my life in jail. Strangely, I do not seem to care. It has stopped raining. April and Star are under the pyramid in a sleeping bag making love.” they stopped and camped outside, the two girls were high, and dale got really drunk while april ran around naked and star slept on a rock.

there’s the july fourth fiasco with marie where they ran through the woods stripping, started messing around, but then the forest caught on fire from the fireworks

he said Fuck School, and got his GED instead of bothering even starting his junior year of high school, and proceeded to fuck off to Who Knows Where for 3 fucking years at the age of 16 ?? dale’s dad is chaotic too like tf ya lettin a 16 yr old boy just walk off with $1,000 in his pocket on a soul-search. what kind of advice is “watch out for bad water and snakes.” got me messed up, no wonder dale is too

literally all we know about this time period is that he traveled far and wide, and needed a ship ?? boi

the two choices he gave himself after he got back were: join the circus or start college. he looked into the circus and they didn’t really want him.

he went to haverford (all boys) and constantly hung around bryn mawr (all girls), got naked and drunk at a bryn mawr party, and then snuck off to have sex in the grass with a girl and barely didn’t get caught

he started dating that girl and she was married and he kept dating her anyways until she broke up with him lmao

he went to new york city and got chased around by robbers, then by a jealous boyfriend of an artist, then by cops and protesters. he ended up in jail for the night.

he went to vegas and started card counting and got kicked out of a casino

then he met a girl who loved coffee and he was smitten but she was celibate and all he talked about was when she was going to Not Be That Way. he never pressured her, but the reason she was celibate was because she had insecurities she had to fix about her relationship with her mother. ends up her mom had slept with her last boyfriend.

long story short: dale almost slept with her mother

almost only because his girlfriend set the house on fire and interrupted

despite finding out she was an arsonist, he wholly welcomed her when she said she was ready to have sex. while in the driver’s seat of the car. they ended up breaking the seat and turning off the parking break, sending them down the hill.

then she went to the psychiatric hospital because maybe arsonists aren’t mentally doin too hot (hahahahahahahahhaha kill me)

skipping ahead and relevant to the way he treats his lovers: CAROLINE EARLE……. HIS PARTNER’S WIFE. ALSO MARRIED.

the sanctimony of marriage: hey dale could you not

dale: new phone who dis

even in the show he ogles audrey and the only reason they weren’t a Thing is for reasons related to real life: i.e. Lara Flynn Boyle dating Kyle Maclachlan at the time and getting jealous, so literally dale’s positive character development was only caused by LFB being a controlling girlfriend ??? so here’s my uncertain thanks, i guess, lara lol

he has no qualms with the bookhouse boys, literally a group of vigilantes

there was also the whole part where he was suspended from the FBI, i mean

anyways this list is already too long but honestly calling coop lawful anything is wildly inaccurate. tbh he sort of just joined the FBI because it was where he was being called to more in a destined way because he clearly has trouble with the morality of upholding laws that are unjust in his moral compass (he grew up during Vietnam, and his brother fled to Canada, he saw a man arrested at his school for dodging the draft; he had personal experience with how the law was shitty before he ever signed up). the only reason, imo, dale makes a “good” agent is due to his personality often working well with the role, his goals often align, but he doesn’t actually……… seem to care that much what others deem good, let alone the law. he just does what he thinks is right or AT LEAST okay because he’s kind of morally dubious at times (thus i think chaotic good-neutral flux is the best alignment for him).

#long post for ts #( out. )#( Headcanon. )#umm why did i write a wall of text.... bye #anonymous #( ask. )

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soldier-poet-king · 11 months

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Spent so long trying to separate my brain from the vague and undefined essence of My Being to survive the Mental Illness that I basically re-enacted Gnosticism 2.0 and not to be like, that's why my OCD emerged later than my more common flavoured generalized anxiety& chronic depression Brainrot, but it definitely Did Not Help. And now that I am (sometimes) at peace with my mind and given that I am no longer spending every waking moment trying to stay alive I have time to reflect on the lasting body-mind-soul division that I've created for myself and like. It fuckin sucks. I hate the body. I hate that I hate the body and being an incarnate creature. But also. It's so bad wrong awful. And tbh I still hate the mind a lot many days too!

#anyway bryn ur post is SO right and u are as always. correct #i just didnt wanna hijack it w rambles #but yeah.theee mental illness has done a number on me in many ways #but yeah the uh. body. we hate to see it. hate to have it.#smtn smthn tmg hebrews 11.40 i will get my perfect body back someday #if not by faith then by the sword im going to be restored. vibe. of it qll #also in the sparrow 2 emiliom talks abt this. and why he cant just get over what happened to him physically #because it was also a repeated assault of his soul #like yeah theres a lot of dynamics there re. divine abandonment and assault. but hes basically right #viz. my own hm horrible terrible no good very bad existence #sometimes i am terrified of eternity not for the usual reasons (im always terrified for those reasons its the ocd and existentialism)#but also for the like. physical resurrection??? in my religion??? fuck no. i DONT want that #i have to be stuck in this stupid ass form forever?#i cant even *** to get out of it ITS FOREVER #i want. to be a genderless shapeless benevolent void. maybe i can take on physical form when i want need #like the angels. i dont want THIS #anyway yeah yeah I'm trying but it just keeps getting harder #nothing fits right or looks right and im at the mercy of genetics giving me a body i dont want #and I cant even just sweat it out in agony bc oh boy look! youve now developed chronic joint pain TOO #if i cant look like i do in my mind i might as well be strong and powerful #but oh no. bitch is gonna get SO many physical ailments too #I DON'T WANNA DIE BUT I DONT WANNA LIVE LIKE THIS #franposting #brought to u by. button up shirt didnt sit right today. hips too thick for anything. have a whole extra goddam organ in my stomach #which i hate and do not want or need #etc etc etc

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corvidshipping · 3 years

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Red I sincerely love how detailed and organized your S/I page is— they all seem like such cool and intriguing characters! (੭ु｡>﹏<｡)੭ु⁾⁾💖💖 If you do not mind (and only if you feel like it, of course!), could you perhaps please share more info about your new S/I Bryn? Anything would be fine! As long as you want to talk about it. ^^

this is so SWEET AHHHH i absolutely will share more abt them!! attempting a mobile readmore for this lmao

thank you so much for sending this in!!! i hope you have a lovely rest of your day!!!

so!! as you can see in their bio they’re one quarter fj.erdan. their paternal grandmother was a fjer.dan immigrant to ke.rch who their father always described as a very fiery and passionate woman who refused to be held down or defined by others, allegedly (she never explained quite why she left fj.erda) the cause of her moving to ker.ch, as she felt she was limited by her home culture and refused many roles placed on her.

bryn themself (at least in the first story of the series) is very quiet around most people, doesn’t cause a lot of trouble, doesn’t speak up much… you wouldn’t expect it but they actually take a lot after their grandmother. for example: they refuse to define themself by typical gender roles or identities, and wear men’s and women’s clothing equally. they have very strong beliefs on what’s right and what’s wrong, and while they remain open minded, they have certain core beliefs that you’re not likely to ever change and if they feel something goes against those beliefs, they will pursue it until they’re ragged. mainly, they care about justice, but also freedom and the right of others to care and comfort. they definitely disagree with gr.isha enlistment but they often don’t feel they’re in a safe position to fight it (perhaps because they are gri.sha themself…?)

that said, it’s not like the parts of them that want to stand up for their beliefs truly conflict with their quietude - they have a unique way of using it to their advantage and almost weaponizing it. they’ve found that when one is quiet around others, they have a tendency to act like you’re not there - that people often mistake quietness for not paying attention, and they say things when they think you’re not listening that they wouldn’t say around others. through this, they’re very good at gaining information, simply by being someone who is often ignored or forgotten, by just being quiet and paying attention. this is a pretty invaluable skill when they join the crows

here’s some assorted random trivia about them:

because kaz and bryn are both quiet (in different ways, for different reasons), even though they don’t quite trust each other at first, they have a way of communicating through facial expressions that to outsiders almost appears telepathic. they just sort of understand each other inherently. from this was born what jes.per likes to call “the neutral face of fuck you” (ok it’s what i like to call it but shh). it’s an expression that they share with each other that just kind of looks much like 😐🤨, that only they really understand to mean “i’m judging the decision you’re making heavily right now, and i’m actually quite mad but my personality won’t let me yell at you”. jes.per swears that you can tell when kaz is doing it bc he clenches his jaw just slightly, and when bryn does it their right eyebrow raises just a little. in.ej doesn’t see it.

their closest relationship among the crows is jes.per, obviously, but oddly he’s not the person they tell everything to. it sounds weird but, because they have such strong feelings toward him and they seek a form of approval from him, they sometimes feel too ashamed to come to him for some darker things in their past. at times like that, they often seek ine.j’s advice (leading to them growing a close friendship), and later nina (who also becomes a close friend to bryn)

fear not though! as trust grows between them, they do end up confiding in kaz. it’s slow, but because of some similarities, as different as they might be, they understand each other well

freyja, the first cat they rescued, is very protective of them and not readily accepting of most strangers - he doesn’t like to be touched by most new people, and he follows them like a shadow, often hissing at people he doesn’t trust if they come too close to bryn

speaking of freyja, they’re often asked why they gave a male cat a feminine name. bryn insists he chose his own name and refuses to rename him

aside from their skill in horticulture and toxicology, they’re an extremely skilled painter. they have an odd hobby of painting visitors to the inn (which at one point drew kaz’s suspicion after they painted ine.j’s portrait). they’re skilled enough that they were asked to work painting the portraits of wanted criminals, but declined immediately because they felt it went against their beliefs

they worship “old gods” but have never really elaborated on what this means. they simply say they worship the old gods.

#paper_heart.txt #religion ment tw #bonyato #s/i: bryn eriksdottir

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corvidshipping · 3 years

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some facts abt Bryn Eriksdottir because uhhh i’m bored and i can

nonbinary canonically

uses they/them pronouns, regularly dresses in both men’s and women’s clothes

two elder sisters, Gwendolyn and Cerys

Bryn is a welsh derived name and so i chose their sisters’ names to be of similar origin but originally i chose Bryn because it’s similar to my birth name + i actually used to go by brynn for a long time

Eriksdottir is scandinavian in origin of course - i chose it bc i am swedish. i originally was going to use eriksen but i decided on eriksdottir bc they’re meant to be an s/i that kind of embodies the way i experience gender and gender roles

they live on a small farm that was turned into an inn with their sisters

their property seems to attract lots of cats, and they have a habit of taking them in and nursing them to health, especially orphans. they’ve been described as a collector of strays, both cats and, less literally, humans.

they’re the shyest of their family and most reclusive, usually spending most of their time in the barn with their cats when there are guests at the inn

their favorite of their strays is a black cat named Freyja, who is actually a tomcat but has a habit of “mothering” the orphaned kittens Bryn finds- that is to say he performs acts that their mother would normally do, while the father would typically not be as involved. things like grooming, hunting for the kittens, protecting them, and laying with them for warmth

Bryn claims Freyja chose his own name but never explains this

Freyja isn’t good with strangers and is often unfriendly towards guests at the inn, and chooses more often to follow Bryn around closely like a shadow. usually if you see him Bryn is close nearby

aside from their cats, they spend most of their time painting, usually painting guests who have stayed at the inn

they’re a skilled nurse, especially so in treating disease more than physical injuries (though they’re good with both!), and have a particularly morbid expertise in poisons. they’re fascinated by deadly flowers and poisonous plants that they find beautiful, and they have a small fenced area where they cultivate foxglove and hemlock

most of their paintings that aren’t of people are of various poisonous plants they discover that they think are beautiful. they know the names of each one they’ve painted, and how they affect the body

they were approached once to make wanted portraits of suspected criminals but declined, partially due to a fear that if they made a flawed drawing that didn’t hold enough of a resemblance to the criminal, that they would be responsible if an innocent person was charged with the crime- but also partially because they are a bit grey morally and hold a belief that not all criminals are bad people, and some are actually right in what they’ve done. but of course some are just evil. still, they wanted no part of it, so they stay helping keep the inn

#paper_heart.txt #s/i: bryn eriksdottir

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