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#but every time im exposed to their points im like. respectfully i think youre not getting it
shattered-catalyst · 3 years
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Intro to OCD for the RPC part 1/?
This is a balmy 6 page document on the VERY BASICS of OCD by a person who has had OCD for over 15 years and knows their shit.
If you want to write a character who has OCD this series is going to be a good starting point. If you dont know much about OCD I encourage you to read it so you can be an ally to those of us who have the disorder.
OCD is made into a cultural joke and when there isnt the ‘Obsessive Cat disorder’ bullshit its an angst off with other people and their non-ocd intrusive thoughts. Its different. Do your research and be an ally.
This will cover the very very basics. The next post will look into subtypes of OCD and how those are experienced.
 Whomst can write it? 
Literally anyone as long as you 
● Do so respectfully and not make a mockery of the disorder and the harm it causes in peoples lives 
● Dont make OCD the characters single thing or boil them down to it entirely ● Do respect the experiences and opinions of muns who have the disorder if they have concerns about your portrayal.
● Dont milk it for angst - unless you have OCD in which case release some of your angst.
● Dont try and say you know what intrusive thoughts are because they have *insert any other neuro a-typical thing here* 
● Dont police how Muns who have OCD choose to portray it. Its our experience not yours. I like to write out my characters OCD as I experience OCD so my experiences are different from other muns. OCD is very diverse in its effects but always ask if you arent sure.
. What isnt OCD? 
● Cleanliness or organization- OCD is NEVER an adjective. 
● Planning/ Hypervigilance/Organized/Methodical 
● Turning light switches on and off, unplugging things (find out more on later time)
 ● “I have to organize my pencils otherwise it bothers me” “ I have to make sure my mattress is straight” “ my nails have to be the same length” are all typical responses from people WHO DO NOT have OCD. 
● Making sure objects are lined up neatly 
● Having things go in a particular order like the letters CDO as the joke goes
● Really loving Cats, Corgis, or Christmas; if you own any of these items i urge you to reflect and also send me 10$ (jk but do reflect)
The Barest minimum 
Google OCD this will be an advanced version of OCD. This will be long but if you want to be aware of others or want to write the character you will read it. 
OCD is made of Obsessions. Triggers. Anxiety, Compulsions/Rituals.
1. Obsessions are the thoughts 
2. Triggers are the object/person/image/situation/smell ETC 
3. The Anxiety occurs is at uncomfortable levels to the point of panic or anxiety attacks
 4. Compulsions or Rituals are performed 
*There is a variant of OCD called Pure O. In this individuals have the obsessions triggers and anxiety but there is NO compulsion or ritual. This is still valid OCD. 
Obsessions are the precursors to the flawed unwanted and harmful intrusive thoughts: 
Im going to use you so you really understand this because its important.If you misunderstand this you are basically encouraging a mental health condition and dont get a sticker for reading this far. 
First check out this link as it has ALL the subtypes and examples. 
Obsessions can be hidden by the intrusive thought and teasing them out can be difficult to do if you have the disorder because well its a disorder okay thats why. It boils down to ‘i could harm someone’ ‘i could cause harm’ ‘ i may have accidentally harmed ___’ ‘ i may accidentally harm’ etc 
This is the flawed powerful belief that predate the Intrusive Thought. 
Intrusive thoughts appear in every brain on earth. They are not special or unusual however intrusive thoughts with OCD get stuck in the brain- meaning they stay there no matter what you do. So yes , they are different from intrusive thoughts in other conditions. 
The thing about OCD is that it latches on to what you hold dear; it may be you are a caring person and love children and animals- your OCD would give you intrusive violent or sexual thoughts or images. These are horrible to experience. They are not welcome nor appreciated and there is no benefit or positive side to having them. 
If say social justice is something you hold dear your ocd may take the form of intrusive thoughts of slurs, jokes, visuals etc. These are horrible to experience and lead to high levels of anxiety and are not positive nor beneficial to have in any way shape or form. 
Maybe you would not harm someone or you value others; your OCD may present as graphic intrusive images or thoughts around poisoning, stabbing,accidental..ly murdering (yeah you read that right), hitting, insulting etc someone else 
I must emphasize this because it is critical that people understand POCD: for the sake of those of us who have OCD read this until its burned into your brain. 
This is the fucked up awful Obsessive thought that you are/were/ or could be sexually attracted to children. This is NOT pedophilia. People kill themselves over this because they are afraid that these intrusive thoughts are true. People isolate themselves and dont have families out of fear of harming a child. People take work in different fields or avoid areas with children out of the absolute terror their obsessive thoughts could be true. This is NOT pedophilia. There is NO attraction present.
Most people who experience POCD intrusive thoughts would rather punch a sharknado than even THINK of hurting a kid in any way shape or form. That is why the OCD does its thing it is like having an abusive brain. 
Again for clarity's sake 
If you value social justice -> the intrusive thoughts violate social justice stuff 
If you value animals -> intrusive thoughts come up with harming animals 
If you care about the protection and safety of children -> POCD 
Triggers would be the situation, scenario, object, person,creature, context etc that is related to the Obsession. It can be literally anything. 
What follows is a hell of a lot of anxiety that can range anywhere from discomfort to full on panic attacks. 
Everyone has different intrusive thoughts and everyone experiences different amounts of distress upon being triggered. 
● As a side bar. Do not ever try and expose someone to their triggers or write about a character being exposed to their triggers as a way to help ‘cure them’ or ‘expose them’ to ANYTHING. What you are doing is literally taking someone with a mental illness and shoving them into a breakdown and thats a piece of shit move. Exposure therapy does exist and is done by professionals TRAINED in ERP. My parents did this a lot and I am positive I am not alone in that experience. 
Compulsions or Rituals: Now you may be saying ‘hey i know what those are’ yeah dude me too and I have had ocd for over 15 years and trained in mental health for 7 and guess what. They teach ya wrong. 
Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. 
This can be as passive as ‘i am leaving the room’ ‘ i am checking my body sensations’ ‘ i am trying SO HARD TO HEAR MY HEARTBEAT’ .
 It can also be repeating the same thing over and over. To illustrate this I once mentally chanted the same song lyric line on a 3 hour plane ride because otherwise we were all going to die. I took one for the whole team.
It can be somatic things like counting your heart beats, focusing on your breathing, swallowing, staring and not blinking for so many seconds. 
It can be readjusting clothing until the seams fit. It can be checking god yes checking IK its a common trope but it IS a compulsion that has ruined my life and can be as passive as checking my reality or texting for proof my cat is still alive. It can also be checking yourself for assurance you wouldnt do the intrusive thought or that the intrusive thought isnt going to happen.
Compulsions are mentally painful and sometimes physically painful; 
● Washing your hands with scalding water for 5+ minutes can lead to horribly dry and cracking skin to down right BURNS.
● If you do the same movement you can mess up joints and ligaments. So if you pray constantly you may have knee issues from standing and kneeling.
● If your compulsion has you doing movement against an object ie say gripping and regripping something you get callouses. 
● If you compulsively exercise you may get trapped doing something above a healthy amount or say going from not working out to running a five minute mile and wiping out on a treadmill because your brain demanded it. Totally didnt do that... 
● If your compulsions make you rub against any object you can get friction burns and scars. 
To put this in perspective 15 years of compulsions have left my hands and finger joints a complete mess, damaged my arm tendons, friction scars on my arms that only now faded, and scars on my legs from doing too much of an activity. 
Its not lmao I gotta fix these pencils its real agony and real torture. 
In short compulsions and rituals are not fun they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 
OCD disrupts relationships with social components such as ; 
Obsessively checking in with partner/friend if things are ‘okay’ (this feels horrible to do too fyi like you KNOW things are fine but you cant NOT because the anxiety is SO BAD), 
Relationship OCD is a WHOLE category itself! this ties into sexuality OCD where your obsessive thoughts prey on your sexuality (regardless of your orientation), your relationship, cheating or being disloyal etc.
OCD causes significant withdrawal from others, fears of being a monster, intense guilt over intrusive thoughts, disgust with yourself over the intrusive thoughts sometimes leading to self punishment. 
OCD leads to strange behavior which more often than not leads to bullying and ostracization. To exemplify this I have an intrusive thought that I have stolen something when I am inside stores, my check-check-check-check-check-recheck! of my pockets gets me store security called so often its criminal.
OCD limits activities that may expose them to triggers or influenced by intrusive thoughts ie: not being able to take the train to work or only getting off at bus stops with even numbers.
OCD impacts where they spend time, who they associate with, what jobs they take or even if they have a family or not
OCD leads to overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, and fear over having intrusive thoughts or images that they experience which causes them to socially isolate or have difficulty in social situations. 
OCD leads to Hyperfixation: like a lot of other things but thankfully it is just hyperfixation and not different from other diagnoses. 
OCD leads to rigidity or structured routines: I have listened to the same CD in my car for 5 years now. Every single day. 5 Years.And Im not okay with that. 
OCD impacts standards we hold ourselves to and others: its like regular perfectionism but like add on 5 extra layers of anxiety! 
OCD according to NIMH statistics 
1.2% Occurrence among US adults 
2.3% Lifetime Prevalence among US adults 
34.8% Of Adults who have OCD suffer moderate impairment to daily functioning 50.6% of Adults who have OCD suffer serious impairment to daily functioning
OCD has strong co-morbidity with the following:
Tourettes Syndrome- is a genetic friend of OCD and if you have tourettes or OCD your chances of having someone else in the family is high
ADHD
Autism 
GAD
Eating Disorders
Depression - this is a big one along with low self esteem because of the intrusive thoughts
Writers like to make jokes about characters “being OCD” well now they have clinical OCD and you should consider fleshing out your character with this information just as you would any other disorder.
Batman (DC)
Riddler (?)(DC)
Domino (Marvel)
 Cyclops (Marvel)
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savnofilter · 3 years
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TW: MENTIONS OF DISCOURSE, GR//MING, P/D/PHILIA, ASS//LT, C//NSENT, D//RK CONTENT.
- this isnt under a read more because i want people to read this, but please read past this/tread carefully if you cannot handle such topics. this is not meant to be interacted with.
I'm not sure how to really go about this. I've been overthinking if I should address this and bring up some stuff while I've been gone, so sorry the absence. I deleted the tumblr app a few days ago and I downloaded it again today so i could post this. I really don't like making posts like this because it cuts the vibe that I've been trying to portray that everything is okay and it makes me feel really disconnected to you guys. I am sorry for the abrupt absence and cutting off any source of communication between us. I knew if I left any form of direct line of talk to me that I would receive hate and I just mentally decided that I cant sit through being harassed right now.
Have you guys ever paid attention to the same people who always have a statement to say or is always in discourse? It's very telling how everyone can post about me, but I shouldnt dare post about them. I'm tired of not being able to post about what I want without people vague posting about me, bringing me up every time they start another discourse with another writer or directly talking about me. My days on here are starting to feel the same. Its good then it goes bad. Good goes bad and bad goes good. It's not even tiring, annoying, or angering -- its repetitive. When I'm not saying anything people create fake stories about me, and when i speak about it im the one starting discourse. Don't get me wrong, I'm nowhere near perfect and I have made my own mistakes. But why the fuck am I always being told to be the mature one, why am I the one who should've done better, why do you people expect so much from me. It's the fact people are always quick to say, "no one cares about you, youre fishing for attention" when they're the ones who vague and interact with me while ive been minding my business for months now. Hm. The fact people have me proudly blocked but still harass me anyways shows a lot about themselves than it does for me. How its such an issue that im a minor until it comes to demonizing, tearing down my character, gaslighting, lying and bullying. I'm a literal example of how their friend group manipulates their followers and exiles people from fandoms for not kissing their ass. except now its in your face.
Consider this my last post about this discourse. I'm not going to waste my time on people who fail to digest other peoples thoughts and opinions time and time again because theyre weak narcissists. If I so choose to decide to shit post my opinions or argue with someone, none of you should be aggravated or moved by it because youre not even supposed to be on my page. If its not something serious i will not be wasting energy that i can be using to build on myself as a growing person than on miserable old ladies that have to use fanfiction to have excitement in their pity, depressing and lackluster lives. If people so do choose to create stories or vague about me, I do not care. So I ask respectfully to people who do lurk on my page to not attempt to message, post or vague about me please. This includes sending anons to yourself to make shit happen.
Past that, something got me thinking. My (older) friend had showed me screenshots of adult writers (no one i have spoken to) that were very excited to write underaged reader with adult characters. There are other instances where writers (that you have probably read from) on here openly made reader underage while aging characters up as adults/with adults. There are many more but there's really no point in listing them nor do I really care. But least to say, the same people who are gung-ho over these pedophilic themes/stories are the same people who support predatory people.
I've been thinking about whether or not i should continue writing for the students anymore. Granted, I still think they're attractive because one snap of the fingers cant stop that. I had been teetering on this thought for awhile because of how borderline pedophilic the people are here towards my age group. I enjoy writing but not to the point of willingly being in a straight line of sight where people who are well over 16 are harassing me and lurking on my page, especially to other minors solely because they are my friends. Backtracking to the statement before, I honestly dont know if I will either stop writing or just for the students as a whole. It shows that clearly some people are using their attraction to teens with the excuse that the characters are fake. The rapid normalization on dark problematic "kinks" is disgusting and vile, and the fact that its discourse now to shame said interests is appalling. Concluding that combined with my experiences here, i feel unsafe.
***(TRIGGER WARNING)*** I dont talk about my personal life on here that much cause I dont see the need too nor do i think its anyone's business. Paired with the fact that the people i have trusted personal information with have used it against me, I will be preventing myself from opening that door. Besides that for now, I have sparsely shared I've been assaulted before. This is my first time really opening up about this and i kind of find it necessary now. Coming from someone who has been a victim of assault and CP by people my age and well over, writing nsfw has been the only way where I could feel comfortable with sex in general. I won't get into details because mentioning this is triggering already and can make people uncomfortable. It feels like anywhere I go, I'm constantly putting myself in a position to be abused. The same people who told me I didn't have to worry about my age and be judged for it, exposed the minimum comfort of keeping myself private online to demonize, judge and hurt me. People call me "extra" for being distraught about my face and age being posted because they think im trying to be sneaky which isn't the case. Its the principle that they KNEW I wasnt ready to share said things, and coming from someone who is inherently a private and closed person, she knew damn well what she was doing when posting screenshots of me on Tumblr. There is no excuse for it. The same writers who write dub/non-con can BARELY understand basic consent and its fucking terrifying. This site was the only other place I could cope without being criticized. To see people who some i was close to proudly lie on my name, (adults) say that i sent them pornographic content without their consent is so very hurtful. To watch people supposedly be victims and then use their own trauma to invalidate my own was so fucking humiliating, disgusting and nerve wracking. Although I knew I made the terrible decision to interact with stories, I have never initiated any NSFW discussion with anyone in DMs unless they did it with me first and a few times -- and trust me raise your hand I'll show you the proof. I was sure that everyone I talked to regularly knew that I was a minor, and to my general consensus, people were under the impression I was 15/16 (which I was and am).***
Whether it be victim blaming from the grooming discourse, I've been met with racism, harassment towards my friends, people wanting me to harm myself and be assaulted. I fear what will happen when i will turn 18, if the harassment will escalate and what not. A big part of me is that I'm still here anyways because it pisses people off and I don't care when I receive hate. I can take it but I don't want it. A good conscious of me knows that I should be doing what's best for me but at the end I'm still attached to my ego-self with the added fact that I sincerely enjoy interacting with my followers and posting stories.
I just don't know how the options look. I'll probably be updating my blog rules as of right now. I've been writing more sfw lately because of this and it'd be nice if you guys supported those until I properly decide. I still have plenty of requests of a bunch of characters (mostly Bakugo and Dabi) and original stuff (all sfw & nsfw) that I really wanna share with you guys. But I just ask that what I do modify that you will respect it like you would to any other writer on here.
Stay safe, keep your mask on, and thank you.
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blonded47 · 4 years
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I think it’s disgusting what those cops did. That man was begging for help and they did nothing. the cop even stayed on his neck for like 3 minutes after he was unresponsive. it was cold blooded murder, plain and simple. they were power hungry and racist and had to prove how powerful they were. they deserve to be locked up. George Floyd was innocent and didn’t deserve to die. he didn’t deserve to be tortured before his death.
the protests are necessary. they need to be happening. i was thinking about going to the one in phx but i read that the guy who set it up was anti BLM and pro-police so people were saying don’t go. the protests are necessary, and the riots are inevitable. you can’t blame people for being angry and hurt. this has always been happening but I really feel like our generation, people our age, have really only started paying attention since Trayvon Martin. obviously cause we were too young for any other instance. but god damn it bro, i’m tired of watching those videos. i’m tired of seeing it happen. innocent black men dying, and racists and police apologists doing everything in their power to pin them as criminals. even if they did commit crimes... as if something like petty theft is enough to justify your death at the hands of people who are meant to “protect and serve” nah bro fuck that. people want to be angry, let them be angry. people want to destroy a target, let them destroy a fucking target. they have every right to be angry and lash out. because peaceful protests clearly don’t work as well as we’d hope. black people are damned if they peacefully protest (kapernick) and they’re damned if they choose a much more louder version of protest.
and the people who are more outraged over some fucking lamps, george foreman grills, and tvs being stolen from a billion dollar capitalist corporation than people being murdered in broad daylight are showing they’re true colors. they’re exposing themselves. it shows how they really feel. they want to try to say that it’s not justice because they aren’t fighting the thing that’s oppressing them?? what the fuck they want us to do?? actually start killing cops?? that’s probably what they want so they have an excuse to start firing into open crowds. and it’s sickening. i don’t condone violence, looting, rioting, but jesus christ i don’t blame them. a few weeks ago white americans had guns at government buildings and were yelling and shoving cops cause they didn’t want to stay with their bitch wives and insufferable ugly kids at home and they didn’t want to wear a mask in public. fast forward to now and police are sending out riot squads to crowds of people protesting shit that actually matters. quick to bring out the rubber bullets and tear gas to protest REAL injustice and oppression. so fuck yeah they have a right to be angry. black people aren’t even being treated as second class citizens. they’re being treated like animals. probably worse cause i bet that white cop ain’t put his knee on his dogs neck like that.
so yeah i don’t blame them for looting and rioting and getting violent, because clearly their voice isn’t heard when they stay peaceful. JFK said “those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable” that shit is real af. we’re getting to that point. again i’m not trying to condone or incite violence, but if they don’t want to hear us when we respectfully ask, then they’re gonna have to hear us when we forcefully get their attention.
im consider myself a strong democrat but i’ve always supported the 2A. i believe we should have much stricter gun regulation, but not banning guns. the reason i’m saying this is because i really believe it’s time for democrats to take advantage of the same rights those racist whites have and arm ourselves up and go out and peacefully protest. The Black Panthers did that shit and they were fucking heard. maybe that will get their attention now. but then again it’s easy for me to say cause if i walked down the street with an AR-15, my life wouldn’t be at risk as much as yours, or any of my other black friends
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scriptautistic · 7 years
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Hi! First off, thanks for starting this blog! In one of my stories, (a sci-fi/fantasy story about teens with superpowers) and im planning on making a character autistic. I want to do it respectfully and accurately, and while i have done research and have some ideas about what sensory inputs he is and is not comfortable with, and how he stims and some basic ideas as to how he behaves in social interactions. However, i was wondering if there is anything else i should make sure i have in order to accurately portray an autistic character? Any tips on how to outright say in the story that he has autism without is sounding shoehorned in/offensive/weird?
It sounds like you are off to a good start, and kudos to you for being willing to do the research needed to write an authentic autistic character.
As for traits your character should have to be portrayed accurately, that’s really too complicated for a single answer. There are loads and loads of traits which are possible, and every single person is different. If you have more specific questions, we are happy to answer them. For now, I’d recommend that you keep researching (and you can get some information from our posts as well). You might want to consider sensory overload, shutdowns/meltdowns, and special interests, for example.
As for how to tell the readers that he is autistic, I would recommend just going ahead and saying it. Introduce that trait the same way you would introduce that a character is black, or Japanese, or gay. To some degree, you can show the reader these things, but if you never tell them outright, you risk having many readers miss the point and come away with the wrong impression. A simple “he was autistic” or “sometimes he hated explaining to people that he was autistic” or “he had to remind himself that not everyone was autistic, and he couldn’t expect them all to notice that detail”, or anything along those lines would work fine. 
If we are privy to the character’s thoughts, I can assure you that the word “autistic” probably appears there quite frequently. And as an autistic person who spends a lot of time explaining to others that I am autistic and what that means, many of us are very aware of this at all times. We are constantly noticing how different we are, constantly wondering if every difference is due to being autistic or if it’s just part of our unique personality, constantly trying to decide whether or not to tell someone we’re autistic so they can change their expectations of us. He doesn’t necessarily have to tell others that he’s autistic, but if he knows he is, it’s probably on his mind a lot.
If you never mention the word “autistic” directly, you run a big risk of many readers not realizing that’s what’s happening. You wouldn’t believe how many people insist that I “can’t” be autistic because I’m able to live independently and have a spoken conversation with them. There is a lack of information and understand of what “autistic” actually means, and the more people are exposed to it, the more well-understood and normalized it will become.
I can think of one example that really disappointed me: the video game “To the Moon”. (Slight, very minor spoilers here - the game is amazing, and if you haven’t played it, it’s a good idea to do so before reading the rest of this paragraph.) Two of the characters in the game are autistic, and a large part of the story involves the other characters learning that and how they interact with each other, how it affects everyone’s lives and relationships. The story is beautifully told, but there is one massive flaw: the word “autistic” never appears in the game. Hints are dropped, but it’s never named outright, and many players, who have now learned to empathize with and understand an autistic character, don’t realize that the character is autistic, and continue through their lives without conscious empathy for autistic people, without understanding that that’s what an autistic person is like. The game could have had a far stronger impact if it had just made it clear who these characters were.
So please, don’t be afraid of being explicit and using the word. We’re not. Look: autistic, autistic, autistic! Yay! \o/
-Mod Aira
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