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#but i mean if u think about it.. hatchling would probably feel some kind of excitement to end the loop even if clouded by anxiety and worry
someawkwardnerd · 4 months
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the end of the end
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frillshark-fr · 3 years
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How do you get people to always buy your dragons? Genuine question
i was gonna say something like “haha i have no fucking clue” but that would be a lie i think about this a lot actually so i might have some insights i’ve been breeding dragons as my primary activity on FR since i started playing FR (in 2014...) and people have only started actually buying dragons from me consistently like, 5-6 months ago, despite 2-3 attempts at running a genuine hatchery onsite that always died due to lack of interest & not really being worth the effort. 
so ive thought a lot about what the hell is happening now and why my dragons are suddenly consistently selling and I think ive come down to these being the main points of advice i can give: 1. make friends! be friendly! don’t be weird! be a cool and fun person to interact with! 2. post consistently. post your dragons consistently. post about other stuff consistently. just be an active member of the community 3. POST YOUR SHIT IN THE “#FLIGHT RISING” TAG. THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TRUELY HELPFUL THING I SAY IN THIS POST 4. make pairs that are sexy as hell and be openly proud of them. make dragons and pairs that you like, not what you think will necessarily sell. people can tell when you like stuff and being genuinely passionate about something, whatever the fuck it is, will get other people passionate as well longer versions/explanations under the cut because man this got a mile long. i wasn’t kidding when i said i think about this a lot and i am so sorry if you wanted something concise and useful
1. to be a little glib. i am mutuals/friends with more clout in the FR community than I do kjdshfdsfdhjhkfdf shoutout to everyone who draws their dragons really good on a regular basis because i am riding on your coattails to sell my dragons. i love you this was never my intent, obviously! DO NOT BEFRIEND PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU WILL GET STUFF FROM THEM IT’S JUST A REALLY BAD THING TO DO TO PEOPLE!!! i wouldn’t be friends w/ people if i didn’t genuinely like and get along with them! no amount of pixel cash is worth putting up with people you dont like or abusing people you admire!  but i’d also somehow feel wrong to just... neglect mentioning this factor. idk it’s probably a self-esteem thing sjdkgfhdsf i just Don’t feel like my #success has been totally out of my own effort because its not like im #hustling or whatever i just posted dragons and stuff happened
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2. being consistent! just. posting consistently! posting Every Hatchling I Have and Talking About Them On Tumblr!  Once I had a couple nests just sell super fast likely due to aforementioned clout, i was emboldened to just post more of my nests more often and I swear this has more effect than anything else. i just needed the self-esteem boost to Start Doing That posting consistently makes ppl follow u for ur content which gets even more people to look at your dragons which gets more people to buy your dragons.
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2a. Also just post a lot in general, even if you aren’t necessarily posting about your dragons for sale. it definitely helps! just be friendly and active and people will come
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3. post your shit in the tag. not in “#dragon-sales” or “#fr-dragon-sales” or anything weird like that because I don’t know if anyone actually looks at those, but people definitely browse “#flight rising”. no matter how many followers you have, more people will see your content if you post it in #flight rising than if you just chuck it into the void. 
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3a. however! do not put links into the post if you want it to actually show up in the tag. tumblr is cool in that it doesn’t actually matter that much when you post something, the same way it really matters on twitter bc twitter has algorithms that decide for you what it thinks you want to be seeing whereas tumblr just shows you everything in chronological order. if you post something into the tag at 1am... it will still be there at 2pm when people log on and start scrolling.
the only thing tumblr seems to consistently hide from a tag (and possibly a dashboard, but idk) are posts with links in them, as a half-assed attempt to limit spam. instead of linking to your sales tab/to the dragons directly in the post, reblog it with the links instead. to reduce latency between a post going up and the links being available, i type out the links in the initial post, cut them, post the thing into the tag, then very quickly reblog, paste the links, and post the reblog jdhfsdf. i don’t know if that benefits anything really? but it can sometimes take me a while to type links, so if i posted, pressed reblog, typed up all the links, then posted, it’d be like ~15 minutes where someone may see the post, think “oh i would like to buy those dragons”, then can’t find the link, think “oh well, i will just find it later”, scroll on, and just... completely forget about it. so uh. go quick?
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3b. the armchair sociologist in me also thinks self-reblogging has the added benefit of like... you know how people are more likely to tip a barista when a dollar is already in the tip jar? or how people are more likely to take one of those little tabs on a flyer if one of them is already missing? i think that works with notes, too. i don’t know why i think that or why it happens i just swear once a post gets 1 note, suddenly it gets Even More Notes, and if it doesn’t get any notes for a while it will sit at 0 notes until the end of time. so giving yourself 1 obligatory note makes people more likely to interact. i think
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4. all of these are hard to quantify but this one is especially so: have cool and unique dragons. make your pairs sexy as hell. don’t put all your eggs (hah) into the one basket of selling dragons that are technically “popular”. we have all seen triple white/triple obsidian/triple orca/triple any other popular colors and cherub/pere/stained or wasp/bee/glim pthahlos or whatever. they’re pretty! we get it! but everyone has had one and everyone has had those pairs and market for dragons like that can be super oversaturated. try to break free from that and sell dragons that people can only get from you. I can’t tell you what to do though bc that rly depends on you. make pairs that you find exciting or interesting and people will feel that. i have a very specific theme and aesthetic that i don’t feel like is especially common on FR and i am genuinely very enthusiastic about it. marine shit is my Thing:tm: both on and off FR and dragons are one of my many ways of expressing that   if you have a Thing:tm:, either some fr-centric aesthetic (like being super into plague or earth or light or something) or something more general (such as any of the -punks or -cores)... just fuckin roll with it honestly. if you’re goth? make got h dragons. like scene stuff that looks straight out of a middle school in 2010? rock that hot-topic lair. outdoorsey type? make dragons that look like you’d meet them on a hike in the woods. it really works with anything!  people can tell when you really love something and i know that seeing someone really love something, even if it’s not necessarily MY thing, makes me really excited too!! 
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4a. never show fear. people can smell fear. never be like “well this one isn’t that good” because suddenly now you’ve planted the idea that it’s ugly in other people’s heads when they may have really liked it had you not accidentally suggested to them that it’s an ugly dragon. people are EXTREMELY suggestible to even VERY minor cues so be always a little bit bolder than you think you should be you’d be surprised at how many times ive been like “eh, this one’s kind of a dud, i’ll probably have to exalt this one when the auction expires” and then that hatchling is the first to sell. never ever ever ever decide what other people like for them. always act like your dragons are the hottest shit in all the land and Believe It. this is what people mean when they say “fake it till you make it”
- 4b. also, idk if it’s true of everyone but it’s really off-putting to see someone having serious pity-parties for themselves, on sales posts or otherwise. ive had bad experiences with people who are uncomfortably quick to self-depreciate (because they were using their genuine self-hatred to manipulate me or my friends), so i might be a little more trigger-happy about avoiding this behavior than others, but don’t weaponize your sadness to guilt people into doing what you want. it’s really not cool.
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okay i think that’s my entire manifesto on how i do dragon selling. anon i am so sorry im sure you were expecting like “believe in yourself :)” and here i am dissecting dragon selling like it’s a frog in a science class
edit: AFTER ALL THAT I STILL THOUGHT OF ONE MORE THING. It’s not really a Point, just a Reminder:
i don’t post about all the times i have to exalt dragons that don’t sell. you are seeing me being very selective about what i post. you dont sit and stare at my lair or click through offspring lists or check old sales posts. there are a lot of times where someone just doesn’t sell. even now when i’m selling stuff pretty consistently i will still sometimes have dragons that don’t sell for seemingly no reason. even dragons I think are sure to sell will sometimes just... not. and that’s ok! you gotta just be.. ok with that. it’s par for the course. i typically list dragons for 7 days on the AH, give them a couple more days after their auction expires (partially because i forget, partially to give them a grace period for people to pm/ask me about them), and then exalt them after that point. w/ some dragons that i don’t think got a fair shake for one reason or another (such as the sales post not showing up in the tag or something) i do a little clearance (like the halloween dragons i recently posted) but for the most part if they don’t sell, i just exalt them. 90% of the time i don’t even bother to level them up i just press the exalt button and call it a day. it’s fine
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a-dinosaur-a-day · 7 years
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A Story about a Balaur and a Dakotaraptor
Oh Geez what have I done 
Just, picture a universe like Zootopia, but the animals are all Reptiles (including birds) from 70-66 Mya (The Maastrichtian age). Also, they aren’t physically anthropomorphized. 
Trigger Warning for emotional abuse, weed and alcohol, I guess? Anyways this is the story of the Adorable Sapphics: 
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By Tas on http://tasmagorical.id.au. Thanks to @ryuukiba for giving me important Spanish Insults. It’s long, but feel free to reblog. 
I first saw her in my Intro to Philosophy class.
I was only in the class because my girlfriend of the time – Jinny, an Anzu from my hometown who came with me to this strange, giant university – wanted to major in Philosophy, and well, I need to fill some electives, I guess.
The teacher was rambling about something that I didn’t give a flying pterosaur crap about – I think it was ethics, which is embarrassing in retrospect – and I was just staring around the room. It was an “international” school, meaning that people from around the world came just to attend the world-famous classes. A giant Deinocheirus, one of the weirdest people I had ever seen, ever, was sitting in back, chewing on a piece of… water plant? A Simosuchus was in the front, and couldn’t really take notes – being quadrupedal and all – so he was using his tail, and it was an amusing sight. An Alamosaurus – who was much too big for the classroom – had a hole cut out of the wall of the room for him – and he was falling asleep in class.
And there she was.
Sitting a few rows from the front, on her own, using one of her feet to take notes. This was amusing in and of itself – did she not use her fingers buried in her wings to grab things, like I did? Jinny didn’t, but Jinny didn’t look much like me, either, and she just looked like a mini version of me.
I looked closer at her foot, and saw she had two Big Claws.
Two!
I watched her in surprise, now completely disconnected from Philosophy. Who cared, anyway?
She had two pens in her claws – using one to manipulate an actual pen, for notes, and the other a highlighter – to highlight back over her notes.
Wow, I thought to myself, maybe she could give me some tips on being a better student. Or at least, she could for this class. I was pretty good at calculus, didn’t need help with that.
“Setha!”
I looked over at Jinny, brought back rather rapidly to reality.
“Have you been paying attention at all?” Jinny laughed, the sound coming out like a loud, abrasive caw.
“Not really,” I shook my head, “I told you, Jin, I’m just not that interested in all this.”
“Then why did you take the class with me?” Jinny demanded angrily as the professor wrapped up and we all shuffled to leave the lecture hall; a Quetzalcoatlus had to fly up and peck at the Alamosaurus’ face to get him to wake up.
“I dunno, cause you wanted to take it together?” I snapped back.
“So stupid,” Jinny muttered as we left the room. I could feel my head feathers puff up in annoyance, but I tried to keep it to myself.
I looked around wildly for the two-clawed girl. I had seen so many others, closely related to me, who had big claws as well – there were the small cousins of mine from home, the Acheroraptor – but there was also Adasaurus, from the same place as Deinocheirus; and Atrociraptor, from a few miles North of where I lived. There was even Austroraptor, who was as big as I was, but from South America!
I had never seen anyone like her.
I finally locked eyes on her. She looked so small – but I knew plenty of distant relatives of mine who were small – but she also walked differently. More like my distant distant relatives, you know, the ones who were experimenting more with the air? And branches and stuff?
Anyway, she was cheerfully getting out of her seat when another animal walked up to her – it was one of those weird digging things, you know, the kind that dig up insects all the time and just kind of run around? He was a big one, much taller than the double-clawed girl, and he kind of shoved her forward with his nose.
I felt my feathers raise more in annoyance.
“What are you looking at?” Jinny asked.
“Oh – uh – nothing,” I said, and we walked together through the campus to our next class.
“Maybe you’ll return to normal in calc,” Jinny groaned.
“Usually do,” I offered, but the image of the digger pushing the double-claw forward was burned into my brain.
Still, being a freshman was hard – and I had other things to worry about. Like intro to chemistry. Which was probably going to kill me – slowly – in a vial of acid – used in the laboratory portion.
So I studied a lot. My best friend from home – Mik, a Tyrannosaurus who was increasingly getting huge and terrifying – was really good at chemistry, so we usually spent our time studying together.
“So are you going to actually come with me to the review session, or are you going to sit in your dorm and play video games with Nikko?” Mik asked as we poured over textbooks together, two nights before the second exam of the term (and I needed to pass).
“Nikko is busy trying to find a girlfriend,” I snorted. Nikko was our newest friend from the school, who Mik had met in his Biology class. He was a Velafrons, and he was terrible at speaking English, but man, could he swear and yell at us for not even trying at Spanish, so to each their own.
“Dammit,” Mik groaned, “I guess a relationship between a hadrosaur and a tyrannosaur is too crazy anyway?”
“Dude, you’re literally wanting to bang what you could consider a prey species,” I snorted at him.
“Yeah,” Mik sighed, “Why did he have to be straight?”
“Cause them’s the breaks,” I paused, “But no, I guess I’ll go to the study session tonight.”
“Thank God,” Mik groaned, “You need it.”
“Watch it,” I snarled.
“You know you haven’t been able to beat me in a fight since we were kids,” Mik paused, “Don’t try it.”
I snorted again and went back to studying, burying my nose in the book.
“By the way,” Mik said, “On the subject of Romance –“
“Oh no,” I groaned.
“Jin says you two like, never hang out anymore?” Mik asked.
“Jin only gives a crap about philosophy and history and all this shit that’s meaningless to me – and oh man, she’s just gotten more annoying about being against religion – like I’m not religious but does she have to belong to a club that’s literally a militantly atheist group? Really? How freaking rude, right?” I snapped.
“Well you know I agree. I don’t know why you dated her in the first place. We made fun of her in junior high,” Mik shook his head.
“Look, I’m a lesbian, tail is hard to come by,” I paused, “And she… had a nice phase in high school.”
“You mean that phase when she tried to make Ethel and Jacob atheists? Because she ‘didn’t care’ that they were ya know, Avialan, and therefore Jewish, but she did care that they believed in God?” Mik snorted, “There’s a reason they didn’t come here with us.”
“How are they doing at Hell Creek U, by the way?” I asked.
“Oh good,” Mik said, “They’re probably going to get married soon, honestly. They don’t see the point in waiting around.”
“Aww!” I gasped, “That’s so sweet. Are you going to go?”
“Dude, I’ve been friends with them since we were hatchlings, of course,” Mik paused, “Do you think it’ll be like Greg and Winnie’s wedding?”
“Because… they’re all Avialans?” I asked, laughing, “You do know there are differences between Avisaurus and Brodavis, right?”
“Yeah, course I know that,” Mik said defensively.
“Like, I don’t think that Ethel and Jacob will have as many water-related components –“
“I’m sorry, I was just wondering if there would be commonalities, that’s all!” Mik snorted.
“Well we’ll find out,” I paused.
“But back to the main topic,” Mik said, “You go to Maastrichtian University. The biggest school in the whole world. Reptiles from far and wide come here to get a fantastic education. You can definitely find someone nicer than Jinny.”
“You really want me to get rid of her, huh?” I laughed.
“If she could stop saying that I, because am a Tyrannosaur, am naturally violent, that would be great, that’s all I’m saying,” Mik roared.
“Yeah, okay, I’m going to break up with her,” I said, “You have a point.”
“Thank God,” Mik groaned, “Racist piece of shit –“
I snorted loudly and buried my nose back in atomic structures, but honestly, the relief at realizing I didn’t have to be with the only lesbian (that I knew of) from my home town was Huge.
Jinny didn’t take it well, and honestly, I don’t really care that she didn’t – she was a huge bitch. But now, of course, I was stuck in philosophy.
The things I do for love, I thought dejectedly as I sat in a different corner of the room, next to an Albertonykus, named Renee, I knew from the LGBTQ+ club (she was bisexual, but in a stable relationship with a boy from home, so that was a bust).
“What do you think we’ll suffer through today?” she asked.
“I don’t have a clue,” I groaned, “Why am I in this class.”
“Because you liked a mean girl and didn’t break up with her until after the add/drop period?” Renee offered.
“Why are you in this class?” I asked, sighing deeply.
“Because Lim is a philosophy major back at ‘Shoe College and I’d like to know what he’s talking about,” Renee laughed, “See, I, unlike you, am in a happy relationship –“
“Don’t rub it in,” I shook my head sadly.
“Ahem!” the professor called out. I quickly turned to pay attention, filled with embarrassment so my feathers puffed up all over.
“This week I would like you all to work on a project on personal perceptions of the existence of higher beings,” the professor began, “You’ll be working with someone I will pair you up with based on previous papers. I think it is extremely important that you work with someone with a different perspective on the subject than you.”
I nodded. Made sense.
“This is a rather large lecture hall, so your partners are all in a document on the online class portal,” she explained, “Emails are provided so you can get in touch with your partner. Now, back to the arguments presented by Fluffcart –“
I opened up my computer, wondering who I’d get paired with. Reading down the sheet, I was being matched with Nami, a name I didn’t recognize, so I pulled up my email.
Hey, looks like we’re partners for this thing – where do you want to meet up? I typed, tapping my claws against the floor.
I didn’t get a responding email for the duration of the class – though, I supposed, I should have been a better student and paying attention anyway. In fact, I didn’t get an email until later in the day, while I was hanging out with Mik and Nikko.
“You are so bad at Super Smash Dinos, Setha, I don’t know why you even try to play,” Mik teased.
“YOU HAVE TO USE YOUR FEET, DON’T EVEN – “ I shrieked.
“Tiny armed tonto,” Nikko laughed.
“How dare you make fun of my arms –“
“Estás bien way, ‘course I’m making fun of your arms-“
“You fucker –“ Mik flicked his tail at Nikko, hitting him in the back of the crest.
“Ow! ¡Fíjate, pendejo!” Nikka shouted, “Keep those feathers away from me –“
I got a buzz from my phone, so I picked up while they bickered over video games, reading quickly.
Hey Setha, Let’s meet in the student center tomorrow at eight. I can’t really do later than that. ~ Nami
I sighed. Eight was when I had LGBTQ+ club, but, if she couldn’t do another time, well, there you go.
Sure, see you then. I’ll be the tall as fuck raptor, I sent, snorting quietly as Nikko beat Mik single-handedly. Literally. Nikko was playing with one hand. Nami didn’t respond to my message, so I just went back to playing.
I hardly ever went to the student center, mainly because I was super broke, and didn’t really feel like spending money I didn’t have on crappy junk food. It was also crowded and loud, and so many students were just… everywhere. Not my thing.
“Are you Setha?” a thick accent greeted me with. I looked up from my bad phone game – Angry Pterosaurs – and up into the most adorable, perfect face I had ever seen.
It was the two-clawed girl!
“Oh, hi! Nami?” I greeted, trying to not get too flustered. She was so small and gentle looking.
Oh no.
Not again.
How many times must I fall for a straight girl?
I had seen her since then with the digging boy – I didn’t know the kind of animal for either of them, they were from somewhere I wasn’t familiar with – and it was painfully obvious they were together.
“Yes, hi,” Nami said, sitting down, “I’ve seen you in class, nice to meet you –“
“Nice to meet you, too,” I paused, “I – uh – guess we should get started, then?”
“Yes, sounds good,” Nami said, “Let us see here – the assignment says we should discuss our differing perspectives of the possibility of the divine, and then explore those perspectives, and write up a report about the differences and similarities.”
“Right, well, I’m easy,” I said, “I’m agnostic.”
“Ah,” Nami nodded, “I see.”
“What about you?” I asked, tapping my claws against the floor again. I was much too flustered by how pretty she was. How could anyone’s feathers be so green? Was that even possible?
“I’m Jewish,” she said, “Avialan, you see.”
“You’re… Avialan?” I asked in confusion, “But you look like… a raptor, you know, like me.”
“No,” she shook her head, “I’m a Balaur. We’re Avialans from Romania.”
“Wow that’s… really interesting,” I paused, “Why do you guys look like raptors?”
“Why does anyone look like anything?” Nami said sharply, “Does it matter?”
“No,” I shook my head, “No, it doesn’t, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have asked.”
Nami nodded in satisfaction and pulled out her planner, “Well I go to shul every Friday and Saturday, of course. I suppose you could come with me, and we could talk afterwards about everything, if you don’t have other plans?”
“No, I shouldn’t,” I said, “Um, I don’t really have… services, being agnostic and all.”
Nami laughed, “No you wouldn’t, would you? Well we can just talk here about it if you’d like.”
“Uh… sure,” I paused, “I mean, we don’t have to get this all done so fast, we have a few weeks –“
Please let me hang out with you more –
“Oh, I don’t have a lot of free time,” Nami said sadly.
“Why not?”
“Coyle likes us to spend all our time together,” she shrugged.
“Coyle?” I asked, trying to play dumb.
“My boyfriend,” Nami said, “A Bradycneme.”
“Ah, okay,” I said, “So he… doesn’t let you do things on your own?”
“Not really, no,” Nami sighed, “Really, just my classes and shul.”
“So he’s not Jewish either?” I asked.
“Well, he’s a Digger, not an Avialan, so…” Nami laughed.
“People convert,” I offered.
“True,” Nami paused, “No… he doesn’t show much interest in it.”
“Oh,” I said, “I’m sorry.”
“It alright,” Nami said, “Anyway, so, tell me about what you believe?”
“Right, well, I guess I just don’t think about it much?” I said, “I wasn’t raised in any particular faith. It just didn’t matter to me much. I say I’m agnostic because I don’t really know if you can empirically prove whether or not there’s a God, and well, I like to believe in what I can prove.”
“Why?” Nami asked, writing down some stuff as I talked, lifting up her leg and using her toes like I had seen on that first day of class.
“I dunno. I’m a physicist,” I paused, “I like numbers, and calculations, and reasoning through things. It makes sense to me. I find a problem and I solve it. The universe can really be reduced to numbers, and… I dunno, I like combining them and finding answers through that. Measuring things, testing things, and using that to find my answers. That’s what matters to me, that’s what helps me understand the world. I question it. And I questioned God… I guess I did. I dunno, I never really thought about it extensively… but the times I did… I questioned God, and I couldn’t find evidence either way, and that was good enough for me…”
“Hmm,” Nami paused, “I see, yes.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” I said, grimacing.
“Oh you didn’t!” Nami said, “No that was very polite.”
“It… was?”
“Yes. Coyle is much ruder about how he’s an atheist. Keeps trying to get me to stop going to shul,” Nami looked embarrassed, “I shouldn’t have said that much.”
“Oh, I don’t mind,” I said, feeling furious that someone would treat this girl I barely knew so rudely.
“I’m famished,” she looked at her phone, “And I have some time before he’s done with his writing club.”
“Do you wanna go to the burger place? Serves some great Mammals,” I offered.
“Uh… I’m an herbivore,” she said, looking even more embarrassed.
“Oh! I shouldn’t have assumed, I keep forgetting you’re not a raptor,” I groaned, “That’s completely my fault.”
“We can go to the sandwich place,” she offered, “They have kosher veggie wraps.”
“Okay!” I said eagerly, glad she wanted to spend so much time with me when I had literally put my foot in my mouth.
“So for you, physics is a religion?” she asked as we got in line. She was so much shorter than me.
“Yeah, I guess it is,” I admitted, “I don’t really… worship it? But it makes sense to me. It’s how I understand the world around me.”
“So what made you take philosophy?” Nami asked, “I mean, it’s also very logical, of course, but it’s not really… empirical.”
“Ugh, I had the worst girlfriend in the world and she’s a philosophy major, so I took it with her to take a class with her,” I groaned, “We’re broken up now.”
“You’re gay?” Nami asked.
“Uh… yeah,” I said, now feeling scared.
I’d had people be dicks to me before.
“Are you in the LGBTQ+ club?”
“Yup, I’m missing it right now,” I sighed.
“I wish I could go,” Nami lamented, ordering her sandwich and moving out of the way for me to do the same.
“Oh – are you…?” I didn’t finish my question.
“I’m… yes,” Nami paused, “I’m asexual, but I’m panromantic – I’ll date anyone.”
“Ah, gotcha,” I said, suddenly very cheerful indeed.
“I’ve only ever dated boys though,” Nami explained, “I had a… wonderful boyfriend in high school, but. Well. I’m with Coyle now.”
I didn’t push it.
“Why can’t you go to the club?” I asked, changing the subject for her. She looked especially uncomfortable, her feathers puffing up dramatically.
“Coyle doesn’t want me to,” Nami said simply, “He’s… very protective.”
“I see,” I said.
I didn’t like Coyle.
“Well, you should still hang out with people other than him,” I said, “Want to do something this weekend after we do stuff at your shul?”
“Oh… I… well,” Nami looked torn, “I would like to, yes, I think, but I don’t… I’ll make an excuse.”
“You should!” I eagerly wrote down my dorm room on a piece of paper, “My friends and, I we play a lot of video games.”
Nami laughed, “That sounds like fun. I can say I have a thing with my shul, he won’t question it.”
I nodded, but I still felt uncomfortable inside.
Mik, Nikko, and their new friend Tuoma – a trans girl Kritosaurus that Nikko met through his biology lab – were all in my dorm when I got back, playing Dinorio Kart.
“Eyyy there she is!” Tuoma greeted.
“Hi guys,” I paused, “Don’t you all have like, a huge biology test tomorrow?”
“We’re having a study break!” Mik protested.
“How are you guys expecting to get into medical school if you don’t study?” I snorted, sitting across from them.
“I am doing no such thing,” Nikko reminded, “I’m going to grad school.”
“Right, then it’s the other two who are stupid,” I shook my head.
“Hey!” Mike groaned as he lost, “Come on, Setha –“
“Don’t come on me, if you flunk out I’m gonna be all alone…”
“So how was your meeting with your philosophy partner?” Tuoma asked.
“Um,” I paused, “Good…”
“What’s wrong?” Mik asked instantly, stopping mid game.
“Oi! ¡Cabrón!” Nikko shouted.
“If you think that someone’s in an abusive relationship, but you barely know the person, what do you do?” I blurted out.
Everyone fell silent and looked at me in worry.
“I’m… not sure,” Tuoma sighed.
“Maybe befriend them?” Mik offered. Nikko nodded in agreement.
“I… I mean, I’m going to try, obviously. I just… I’m scared for her, and I don’t know her like, at all,” I sighed.
“Well, ease into it. Maybe it’s not as bad as it seems from the outside,” Mike said soothingly.
“Maybe…” I frowned, “She’ll be hanging out with us Saturday evening, after I do stuff with her for our project.”
“Ah – Tuoma’s bringing a new friend too!” Nikko said.
“Oh?” I asked, pulling out dried meat from Mik and my’s bowl of snacks.
“Yeah, their name is Qindo, they’re agender, we met at the trans support group,” Tuoma explained, “Thought they’d make a fine addition to ‘getting high and attempting to play Super Dinorio Bros’ club.”
“Ha! Awesome,” I laughed, “It’ll be an interesting evening for her.”
“What’s her name? What is she like?” Mik asked.
“Remember when I told you about a girl in my philo class with two foot claws?” I held up my foot and swiveled my claw back and forth in demonstration.
“Eww, get that out of my face, stinky,” Tuoma laughed.
“Yeah, I do,” Mik snorted.
“Well it’s her,” I paused, “She’s an Avialan, actually.”
“An Avialan? ¿Realmente?” Nikko asked.
“Yeah. A vegetarian, too,” I paused, “I really stuck my foot in my mouth, to be honest.”
“Kept assuming she was a raptor?” Mik laughed. I threw a pillow at him.
“Yes, you dumbass,” I paused, “She looks like a weird Adasaurus, okay? Geez.”
“So what’s your philo project about?” Tuoma asked.
“Religion, oddly enough,” I paused, “So I’m going to go with her to Shabbat stuff this weekend.”
“You know, we never went with our friends from home, that should be interesting,” Mik offered.
“I hope so,” I paused, “I’m looking forward to it, for sure.”
Mik stared at me critically for a minute before shouting, “Oh my God.”
“What?” Tuoma asked in confusion, looking between us rapidly.
“Setha’s fallen for her!” Mik laughed loudly.
“Fuck you, too!” I shouted, so embarrassed I wanted to melt into the floor.
“She’s in love! Oh no! Oh this is fucking typical!” Mik roared with laughter, making Nikko shout in instinctual fear.
“Leave me alone!”
“Why are you like this?” Mik chortled.
“Hey – you had a giant crush on Nikko before –“
“HEY”
“Wait you did?”
“I…”
“This should be interesting,” Tuoma said, sitting back and munching on some leaves in glee.
“I thought you were cute, but then I realized you were straight –“
“I mean, yeah, but like, I’d still be flattered, man!” Nikko shouted.
“I didn’t think you wouldn’t be – “
“So why didn’t you tell me?”
“Cause I was embarrassed!”
“I’m a flexible person! I mean, I’m not attracted to you, but like, I wouldn’t freak out about it! Again, I’d be flattered!”
“Well by the time I realized you would be I had gotten over it!”
I snorted loudly, satisfied that they were off the topic of my crush on Nami, and opened up my computer to work on an online homework assignment for calculus.
That Friday, I met Nami at her shul, which was just off of campus. It was a small place, but quiet; I wandered through the halls curiously, looking at all the pictures and names on the walls.
“It’s much bigger than the one from my home,” Nami said quietly. I turned around to see her, feeling embarrassed when I nearly knocked her over with my tail.
“Oh?” I asked.
“Yes,” she paused, “We’re still… recovering from. Well. Everything that happened.”
I nodded. I didn’t bring it up, for her sake. She already looked sad, and she hadn’t even said allowed the word.
“Do you get along with the people here well?” I asked.
“It’s a modest place, so yes,” Nami smiled, “It’s my one relaxing moment of the week, really.”
“I’m looking forward to participating,” I nodded as we went into the hall together, sitting together and taking out prayer books.
It was a beautiful, if quiet, affair. Almost everything was sung, and everyone was really friendly. Wine was drunk, and candles were lit, and I didn’t really know what was going on – or how to say, any, of the words – but it was nice. Nami looked really relaxed and happy, which made me happy, much to my chagrin.
God dammit.
Afterwards we all went to another room and sat down to eat dinner, which was almost entirely vegetarian, so I couldn’t eat it. Still, I enjoyed sitting there, listening to everyone talk.
“We hardly ever see Balaur anymore, but it’s really nice to have Nami with us,” an Enantiornis named Lolla said.
“So what are you going to write about in your project?” another Enantiornis named Poppy asked.
“I dunno, I think just… well, I liked what your Rabbi was saying about social justice and all that. I dunno, my main perception of religion has always been… thou shalt nots, that sort of thing,” I explained.
“Well, yes, but that’s not how it is here, or at least, not in this shul,” Nami said happily.
“Sin is more missing the mark, than some sort of inherent state that we’re all trying to escape,” Poppy nodded, “And it’s much more about fulfilling mitzvot than anything, really.”
“Belief in God is important, but it’s also about community, and coming together, and studying Torah,” Lolla explained.
“And debating the meaning of it!” Poppy laughed.
“Oh yes, can’t forget that the biggest part of being in this tribe is… arguing,” Lolla giggled.
“Nothing is really dogma, there is no one ‘right’ way to be Jewish,” Poppy said.
I wrote everything down in my phone, nodding and listening as they continued to discuss. It was really enlightening and interesting, and it was nice to learn about how Nami had grown up.
The next morning I met Nami there again – way too early in the morning. I was so tired I needed coffee.
“Sorry,” she greeted, not even saying anything before offering that comfort.
“It’s alright,” I yawned, “What am I in for this morning?”
“Torah, of course!” Nami said happily, “Come on.”
There were more prayers and singing that I didn’t understand, but also reading from their Torah, which was beautiful, ornate, and huge. They read that in Hebrew, too, and I just listened to the poetic sounds of the words, amazed at how I had no idea what was going on – but I felt connected to everything anyway.
We then met with more of Nami’s congregation members, talking and laughing as we ate lunch, with people discussing and debating the Torah portion for that week – even though I had no idea what it was, they still managed to talk about it and eagerly discuss, and eventually I caught up with the story as I listened.
“So, do you think you know what you’ll write about?” Nami asked as we walked back to campus together.
“Yeah I do – do you?” I offered.
“I’m not sure. You kind of gave me less to go on,” Nami laughed, “I’m hoping to learn more about you and what you believe tonight.”
“By watching me goof off with my friends,” I snorted.
“Well, that’s what you saw me do, didn’t you?”
“Fair point,” I frowned, “You weren’t really goofing off, though.”
“It’s still fun, to me, anyway,” Nami paused, “I’m a Jewish Studies major. Well, double major. That’s why I’m in philosophy, I need to take a few philo classes.”
“What is your other major?” I asked.
“Geology,” Nami grinned, “I like studying fossils.”
“Really?” I gasped in surprise.
“Course!” Nami paused, “I appreciate the ancient, whether it’s Torah, or the ancient fossil ancestors of Avialae, or just those weird mammal relatives from before the Great Dying.”
“That’s so neat,” I exclaimed, “We should talk about that more.”
“Heh, alright,” Nami nodded.
“You seem more cheerful than when we met,” I offered as we stepped back on campus, heading towards my dorm.
“Well, Shabbos is my time,” Nami explained, “Time just to myself.”
“Yeah,” I frowned, but I didn’t push it.
Which, of course, didn’t sit well in my stomach.
“Ey! You must be Nami!” Mik greeted as we went inside.
“Hola!” Nikko greeted.
“Hi,” Nami said shyly, sitting down in a corner. She was easily the smallest person there. Tuoma was there too, and her friend Qindo, who was a Champsosaurus.
“Setha’s told us so much about you!” Mik grinned. I hit him with my tail.
“Right, I’m Mik, I’m Setha’s friend since we were like, freshly hatched,” Mik began, “This is Nikko, a dork from Mexico –“
Nikko swore a long string of angry Spanish words in response.
“Tuoma, our other friend from Biology –“
“Hi,” Tuoma greeted cheerfully.
“And Qindo, who is also new –“
“They’re weird, I’ve been here five seconds and I’ve determined this –“
“What are your majors?” Nami asked nervously.
“I’m premed,” Mik paused, “So is Tuoma.”
“I’m going to go into genetics,” Nikko said.
“I’m an English major,” Qindo explained.
“And you know I’m physics,” I offered needlessly.
“Ah, I’m Jewish Studies and Geology,” Nami paused, “Qindo, do you know a Bradycneme named Coyle?”
“Ugh, him? He’s a dick,” Qindo said immediately.
I groaned softly.
“Uh… he’s my boyfriend,” Nami said.
“Oh. Um. Uh,” Qindo looked like they wanted to melt into the floor.
“Anyway!” Mik said, “Have you ever had edibles, Nami?”
“I… what?” Nami asked, laughing weakly as we all sat around the dorm.
“You know, pot brownies, that sort of thing,” Tuoma offered.
“Oh I – no? I have never had pot of any sort,” Nami said, looking embarrassed.
“This should be interesting,” I giggled as we all took some from the plate Qindo was holding. Mik then put in Dinorio Bros as Nami stared out into the distance, just chewing on the brownie.
“I should probably have asked if this is Kosher,” Nami said softly.
“Oh fuck, I’m sorry,” I groaned, “I should have thought of that.”
“Eh, it’s alright,” Nami sighed.
“I’m pretty sure it is?” Tuoma grimaced, “I didn’t… think of it. Sorry Nami.”
“Not your fault, just mine. I forget to check sometimes,” Nami shook her head.
We sat around and let it set in, me reaching that lovely euphoric state I looked forward to every week. Nami perked up considerably as it hit her, and we all started shouting at each other and playing games, laying and being ridiculous as we failed spectacularly. We weren’t good at the game high, or anything. It was just fun to be terrible – as a group.
From then on, Nami joined us every week, because she just lied to Coyle and said that she was doing stuff with her shul. She started personally preparing the brownies, and none of us minded – in fact, she was better at it than Tuoma. We got an A on our project (which ended up being an elaborate discussion of the perceptions of God and the similarities between agnostic and Jewish thought) and I even managed to pass Philosophy despite having never, not once, paid attention during lecture.
Even though I still found Nami beautiful – both inside and out – I didn’t really get to see her except Saturday evenings. We weren’t majoring in the same thing, so we didn’t really take any classes together past that point, and even though I think she knew how the rest of us thought of her boyfriend, she didn’t break up with him.
So I dated a few other girls - including Tuoma, for a bit, though we broke up amicably – but never really stayed with any of them.
“Yo Setha!”
“Yeah, Mik?” I asked, looking up from my project. We were juniors, now, and I was doing a lot of research with one of the professors on optics and electromagnetism.
“Look man, we should take a class next semester – the whole group,” Mik offered.
“All of us?” I asked in surprise.
“Yeah!” Mik paused, “Cause look – there’s this class on Dinopology, the history of the evolution and culture of Dinosaurs – shouldn’t we do that?”
“I mean, Qindo might object,” I snorted.
“Qindo can suck it, come on, it’s an intro class that none of us have taken – not even Nami! Let’s do it!” Mik said eagerly.
“You know full well Nami won’t be allowed to do that without Coyle,” I snarled.
“Wow, you haven’t even tried to seem like you approve, have you?” Mik laughed.
“Do I have to, really?” I paused, “At least when she isn’t here.”
“No, I guess not. I just kind of… I dunno. At least he isn’t physically hurting her or anything,” Mik sighed.
“Yeah, but come on, Mik,” I paused, “You see how she is with us – after a full day of being with her shul, and then with us, and not seeing Coyle at all – versus seeing her randomly in the week. She’s a completely different person.”
“I know,” Mik sighed, “But we’ve gone over it a thousand times. She won’t tell us why she’s with him, she won’t break up with him, and there’s nothing really we can do about it, without ensuring that she won’t even be able to hang out with us the small amount that she does.”
“Yeah,” I groaned, “I guess. But count me in for Dinopology.”
“Excellent,” Mik grinned.
Nikko and Tuoma were automatically on board, and Qindo’s reaction was essentially “Might as well learn how you people think, I guess.”
“I dunno,” Nami sighed as she got to the dorm on Saturday, pulling out brownies from her bag.
“Come on, it’s not like Coyle is a double Jewish Studies and Geology major,” Qindo said, their mouth filled with a large mammal steak we had cooked earlier.
“Yeah, you can’t have taken every class together,” Tuoma nodded.
“We want you with us! It won’t be the same without you,” Nikko begged.
“Please? We had so much fun in Philosophy together,” I said.
Nami looked at me sadly, “I can try. He just kind of insists that we take all the electives together, since we can’t take major classes together.”
“Well you should ask tomorrow! Then text Setha or someone,” Mik paused, “The rest of us should sign up for sure. Please do ask to morrow, Nams, registration is this week.”
“I will, I will. It definitely fits into my schedule, weirdly enough,” Nami paused, “Nikko, what are you doing?”
Nikko had decided to attempt to balance my stuffed animals on his head.
“… No sé,” Nikko admitted, his speech very slowed down.
“Oh no,” Tuoma giggled.
“Someone keep him away from sharp objects,” I grinned.
The next morning, as I attempted to work through the haze of a morning hangover and finish up my report, I got a text.
Coyle says that I can take it as long as he takes it with us…
I sighed. Better than nothing, I supposed.
Sure, I responded, We should probably know him better, I guess.
You can’t tell him about our weekends, Nami immediately responded, I just told him I knew all of you from classes and such.
Well, I quickly typed back, That’s not a… total lie?
Just what I thought. Thanks Setha. You’re always so understanding about this.
I gulped quietly.
And so guilty about that understanding.
Yeah, ‘course. I’ll let everyone else know.
“Fuck that!” Qindo said, literally calling me after I texted them.
“I know, but –“
“Come on, Setha, you more than anyone would be pissed about this!”
“Of course I am, but I’d rather Nami get to enjoy something with her friends for once! Geez, Qindo!” I shouted back.
“I’m with that dick in all my other classes, and this isn’t even something I’m interested in!”
“Look, we’ll all take a class you want first semester next year, and Coyle will not be allowed to come, how’s that?”
“Fine,” Qindo sighed, “Fine. You all owe me.”
I had never really had to interact with Coyle before – in Philosophy, I just kept sitting with Renee more often than not – so I really didn’t know what I was in for as I entered the large lecture hall the first day of the next semester.
“Hello,” Coyle greeted, in a gruff, angry voice.
“Hi,” Tuoma greeted cheerfully.
“I recognize some of you,” Coyle looked at Mik critically, who he definitely would have missed seeing in a class, “So you’ve all taken classes with Nami?”
“Yup,” Mik answered immediately, “I took a geology elective.”
Nami nodded, “I told you that, Coyle.”
“Yes,” Coyle said slowly, “So why Dinopology?”
“It’s an elective we can all take?” Qindo said sternly.
“Right,” Coyle sneered, sitting with us. The professor started talking about the subject and I took notes quietly, seething that this complete dick was with us.
“For the first week of class, I want you to pair up and work on a presentation on the origin of Dinosaurs…”
Of course, Coyle paired with Nami, but at least she was having a class with us for once.
“I just want to pry her away from his single fingered, grubby hands,” Mik sneered as we all watched a movie during the week, Nami of course not there.
“I want to smash his cabeza into his cuerpo. Cabròn,” Nikko hissed.
“Nikko, take a deep breath,” Tuoma soothed, nuzzling her head against his. They had started dating only a few weeks ago.
“Seriously though, the boy is infuriating,” Mik growled, “Maybe me and Xin could go and teach him a lesson.”
“You and your Tarbosaurus boyfriend attacking him sounds wonderfully appealing,” Qindo sighed dreamily.
“Any move we make will just make him reign in his control more. The two live together,” I sighed, “There really isn’t an option.”
Mik looked at me in annoyance, “Why are you like this?”
“What are you on about?”
“We’ve been friends with Nami for two fucking years and you are still just as in love – no, MORE in love – with her as you were when you first saw her!”
“Leave me alone!”
“But you won’t do anything to save her from this situation!”
“She doesn’t love me back, so it doesn’t matter, you douchecanoe,” I hissed.
“So you’re saying the only reason to save her from a terrible relationship is, so you could be with her?” Tuoma asked angrily.
“That doesn’t seem like love,” Qindo said quietly.
I growled, “That’s not what I meant – “
“It sounds like what you meant!” Mik roared, “Setha, I can’t believe you!”
“It’s not what I meant at all – I mean – look,” I sighed heavily, “You’re right. That was a terrible thing to say. I didn’t mean it. I really didn’t. I just. Don’t want to risk having her get into an even worse situation because I intervened, or anyone intervened, and it didn’t go successfully. What I meant by what I said was just… I dunno. Maybe if I saw that she liked me back or something, I could try and use that as a reason for her to get herself out?” I offered.
Everyone relaxed considerably.
“I still think you should try regardless,” Mik grumbled.
I frowned, but focused on the movie.
Eventually we were given a huge project – a research one, where we had to study a topic in dinosaur evolution, and write a paper and make a presentation for the class – and we had to pair up with other people, so Nami and I worked together. Mik took Coyle, mainly because Mik wanted to find an excuse to eat him.
“No one would ever know, I’m telling you,” MIk insisted.
“Do not eat him, Mik!” Tuoma shrieked as I, Nikko, and Qindo cackled in the corner during the exchange.
I met with Nami during the week, us sitting in my dorm while Mik was out doing other things.
“So, what do you want to do for the project?” I asked, flipping through the pages of the book.
“I don’t know,” Nami sighed, “I’m so tired.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” I looked up from the book, frowning at Nami sadly.
“No,” Nami shook her head, “Let’s just pick a topic.”
“How about the evolution of Avialans? You know that really well cause of your major,” I offered.
“Eh,” Nami groaned, “Yeah, I do, but consider: I know it too well.”
I laughed appreciatively, “How about the evolution of Titanosaurs, then? Doubt anyone else will want to do that.”
“Sounds impossible,” Nami grinned, “I’m on board.”
I snorted and we got to work, compiling as many sources as we could. The project would be a long, drawn-out one, and take most of the rest of the semester, so we got to hang out alone a lot without worrying about Coyle.
“Okay but why would your favorite character be Neville!” Nami laughed.
“He has so much untapped potential!” I grinned, “He’s the most underrated character in Harry Potter –“
“But Hermione!” Nami insisted, “An Avialan Icon!”
“Hermione is great! A pure rolemodel! Adorable! Not as great as Neville!” I grinned.
“What kind of Lesbian are you –“
“A perfectly good one, thank you very much!”
Of course, we saw completely eye to eye on other pieces of media we both loved.
“The most infuriating part of Star Wars,”  I said as we took a break from examining fossil evidence charts, “Is that everything in episode three is completely avoidable.”
“SHE JUST HAD TO GO TO AN EGG DOCTOR!” Nami shrieked.
“That’s all she had to do!” I agreed.
“Then they would have actually kept track of her condition!” Nami nodded.
“Made sure she was healthy!”
“Focused on the important things!”
“Maybe even,” I fake gasped, “Tell Obi-Wan!”
“Oh no, such logic is impossible for Anakin and Padme!” Nami snorted, “How far Padme had fallen…”
“She was such a good character before three ruined her,” I agreed, “On the Clone Wars, especially.”
“Oh don’t bring that up,” Nami groaned, “I still get mad about how that show makes me feel worse about Order 66 –“
We also discussed, well, non-media related things as well.
“I hate that Nikko doesn’t have enough accommodations,” Nami sighed.
“What do you mean?” I asked, looking up from the powerpoint we were working on.
“I mean…” Nami frowned at me, “I mean, he’s got a bad leg, right? He should have easier ways to get to classrooms and stuff, but this school is terrible at large-sized elevators.”
“You’re right,” I sighed, “I never really… thought about that. Since he hardly ever, you know, talks about it?”
“We should do something about it,” Nami offered.
“Like what?” I asked.
“Write to the school! Raise awareness! We really aren’t disability friendly at all!” Nami demanded.
“When are we going to do that, miss maximum-load-of-classes?” I offered.
“Um… at some point,” Nami admitted.
“We should, I agree,” I paused, “We’ll talk to the others about it on Saturday.”
The night before the project was due, she had been spending more time with me than with Coyle, and she acted like it – much more confident, much happier, much more excited about, well, everything.
“Nams?” I asked tiredly as we worked late into the night, piles of papers around us as we composed a large paper.
“Yeah?” she looked at me, her eyes drooping with sleepiness.
“Why do you stay with Coyle?” I murmured.
Nami sighed deeply, “I suppose I should tell you the story, I guess.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I quickly offered.
“No, I want to,” Nami closed her laptop and stared at me for a long time.
“I dated this guy in high school. His… name was Olne,” Nami paused, “He was an Elopteryx. A troodont.”
“Okay,” I nodded.
“We were… I really loved him,” Nami was crying now, “I really, really loved him.”
“What happened to him?” I asked softly.
“He got into a car crash,” Nami drew in a shaking breath, “Didn’t live very long afterwards.”
“I’m so sorry, Nams,” I whispered.
“He was so sweet. And nice. Like you, really,” Nami paused, “I mean, he liked the same things as you. He was nicer than you are.”
I stuck my tongue out at her, which made her laugh.
“But… Coyle was his best friend. He was so upset after what happened. We just kind of… fell in together, because, well, we both knew what the other was going through,” Nami sighed, “He was so… scared of everything after that. He got overprotective. Constantly worried, since we’re in a new country and everything, that the unknown will cause something to hurt me.”
“That’s… not what I was expecting,” I admitted.
“He’s very mean, I know,” Nami paused, “And… controlling. But his heart’s in the right place.”
“Except you’ve been living here for two years, Nams,” I paused, “And you… I dunno. You’ve adjusted really well. You can take care of yourself.”
Nami sighed heavily.
“And you don’t… seem to be in love with him,” I muttered quietly.
Nami looked up and stared at me critically, “No, I don’t.”
“Then?”
“I’m not sure how he’ll react,” Nami paused, “And I have no where to live. And he’s a reminder of home”
“You can crash with me!” I offered eagerly.
Nami laughed, “Are you sure? Mik takes up a lot of room.”
“I’m used to Mik,” I said dismissively, “He’s basically my brother.”
“Very true,” Nami paused, “Thank you for being understanding, Setha. I’ll think about it”
“Of course,” I agreed, “It’s up to you, obviously. And I understand not wanting to give up a reminder of home. Why do you think I put up with Mik?”
Nami laughed appreciatively, and we got back to work.  
We turned in our paper the next day and delivered our presentation, and it was one of the best ones of the class. Nami looked so happy, and confident, that I was shocked to not see her that Saturday at our weekly hang.
“Maybe I should text her?” I asked softly.
“I’ll do it,” Mik sighed, “If nothing else, I think Coyle ‘trusts’ me now.”
Qindo growled softly.
Mik texted quietly as we all sat around, staring at each other worriedly.
An hour went by without a response, and our worry only grew.
“This is my fault,” I groaned.
“What do you mean?” Tuoma asked.
“I mean – I encouraged her to break up with him. I shouldn’t have done that,” I cried.
“Look, we encouraged you to encourage him,” Mik said, “It’s all of our faults.”
“Definitely,” Qindo agreed.
“I know, but… I won’t be able to live with myself if…” I cried.
“If what?”
“He could be hurting her… like, physically,” I whispered.
Mik looked at his phone again – nothing.
“I’m going to their apartment,” he said softly.
“No, I’ll go,” I said, “If we need to emergency extract her, you’re the better choice for that; let me ruin any chance of me seeing her again.”
“Setha –“ Nikko said.
“Just, let me go,” I shook my head, “This is my mess.” I left the dorm in a rush and ran across the campus, running as fast as my fluffy legs could carry me. I even flapped my wings a little to get some slow-moving Alamosaurus to move out of the damn way.
I had to, eventually, just hop onto them and over them, to keep going towards the student housing apartments on the other side of campus, running through the small streets that reeked of weed and alcohol, running up some stairs to their small apartment.
I could hear shouting.
My heart clenched in my chest and I rammed my head roughly into the door.
“OPEN UP,” I screamed.
Coyle opened the door, glaring at me. He was covered in blood.
“You!” he shouted.
“Yeah, me, you dick,” I pushed him out of the way, “Did you hurt her?”
“No, she hurt me!” Coyle roared.
I looked around for Nami, and found her in the middle of the room, looking ruffled and angry. In fact, she was completely disheveled, but she didn’t look to be bleeding – but her claws were covered in blood.
“I told him – I told him I was leaving him – and he tried to… He tried to attack me so I fought back!” Nami hissed, “What, did you think these claws were just for Supreme Studying Techniques?”
I grinned in pure, utter pride.
“You bitch –“ Coyle hissed.
“Come at me again, I dare you,” Nami shouted. Coyle did, though, and he was bigger than her, so he pinned her down.
“HEY!” I shouted, but they both ignored me. Nami kicked at Coyle roughly, scratching at his stomach, making him scream in pain and back away.
“Eventually you’ll tire out!” Coyle hissed.
“Not before you run out of blood!” Nami snapped.
I didn’t want to see her get any more bruised and beaten, so I ran forward, shrieking at the top of my lungs. I pulled him off of her and held him back loosely, not drawing blood with my teeth.
“Let go of me you bitch!” Coyle roared.
Nami threw out another kick, more blood coming from him, and I dropped him on the floor.
“We’re done. I don’t need you, and Olne would be ashamed of you,” Nami snapped.
“You take that back!” Coyle demanded.
“No,” Nami paused, “I’ll be having Mik collect my things. Goodbye, Coyle.” We left the apartment together, Nami limping heavily.
“What did he do to you?” I asked quietly, horrified that she had gotten hurt at all.
“Ugh,” Nami sighed, “He tried to use his large size to overpower me. I think he broke my leg, maybe? But I could still kick, so I did.”
“I’m proud of you,” I said honestly. Nami laughed.
“Thank you for encouraging me to do that. I’ve wanted to… well, since we met, to be honest, but I never had the courage,” Nami sighed.
“Why did you want to when we met?” I asked, helping her walk by just straight up putting her on my back, walking slowly to the student health center.
“He was getting insufferable? Surely you noticed. I’m not… okay, I wasn’t… really about drugs but I joined you guys just to have some way to avoid him. I’m just. I was scared of him. He’s big and well, he has a lot of emotional weight on me,” Nami sighed.
“Still, that’s just. An odd thing to say,” I sighed.
“I’ll tell you some time,” Nami explained, “Let’s just get me to a doctor, yeah?”
“We certainly shouldn’t let Tuoma and Mik practice on you,” I laughed. Nami laughed with me, as we went together to the center. She did have a slight fracture, but it was easily patched up.
She moved in with me and Mik and it was wonderful – and honestly, Coyle was way too afraid of Mik to try anything.
“To Nami’s freedom!” Nikko cheered the first weekday we actually all got to hang out together.
“To Coyle’s butt being kicked! Literally!” Tuoma cheered.
“To never having to look at Coyle’s stupid face again!” Mik laughed.
“Unless it’s to kick it!” Nami giggled.
“HUZZAH!” I cheered.
We all clinked together our glasses of wine and laughed, drinking and cheering together about the beauty of this latest development.
“So what do you want to do with your newfound freedom, Nami?” Qindo asked.
“I want to figure out who I am without the dick,” Nami said honestly. Mik laughed loudly and Tuoma clapped.
“But besides that, what I really want is to just be happy,” Nami paused, “I think being with him kept me in a shadow for… all of college. I haven’t been able to move past my past.”
“Well, we’ll help you any way we can,” I said happily.
“Any way?” Nami asked, grinning at me.
“What are you asking?” I snorted.
“Never mind,” Nami paused, “Let’s play some rock band?”
“Oh no,” Mik groaned.
“Oh yes!” Nikko cheered.
“I love watching you being completely unable to do anything!” Tuoma giggled.
“This isn’t fair –“
“Mik, you’re the largest predator on the planet, you don’t get to talk about what isn’t fair,” I grinned.
“Setha, you’re a dick.”
“Thank you!”
Nami was laughing more than I had ever seen her do, and the sight just gave me hope and joy. She was free, and she was happy, and that dick would never hurt her again.
Senior year we all got a large house together off campus, but Nami and I were the first to move in – Mik was off volunteering in some of the poorer countries, giving health care to people who really needed it; Nikko and Tuoma were on vacation at the Nemegt; and Qindo was still working their crappy summer job at home.
“Hey Setha?” Nami asked as I put up my posters in my room.
“Yeah Nams?” I answered, looking over at her and getting flustered as I always did when I looked at her beautiful, adorable green face.”
“Um. Can I talk to you?” Nami looked rather flustered herself.
“Sure,” I agreed, stepping down and cocking my head to the side, “What’s up?”
“Er, so you wondered. Back in the spring. About how I knew I wanted to break up with him from the moment I met you?” Nami asked.
“Yeah?” I said, what a strange thing to bring up.
“Er… well, okay,” Nami laughed nervously, “This is really hard for me to say, because, um, I’m still in… a weird headspace. After Coyle.”
“Of course,” I frowned.
“Er… you see… I think you’re really cute,” Nami admitted. I felt myself flush in amazement.
“You… do?”
“Yeah,” Nami said, now talking very fast, “Yeah, you see, well, I thought you were really pretty, and I love how brown your feathers are, and I watched you in class and the way your feathers would perk up whenever you saw something you actually cared about on the computer, and well, I was really excited to see it was you that I was working with, but I didn’t want you to know because I knew Coyle would like, not approve of me having friends, because who can trust these Americans right, so I just pretended to not like you, but then you were so respectful and kind and thoughtful at shul, and I was like, I have to hang out with her more, and it was so nice to have somewhere to go and someone to hang out with every weekend who wasn’t from shul, and I just had so much fun with you, and you were always so nice to talk to, and so pretty, and I just. Wow. I’m rambling, I’m sorry,” Nami said.
“Don’t be!” I said, my heart pounding loudly.
“Um, so yeah, I think you’re pretty, and funny, and smart, and interesting to talk to, and you can be nice, but you’re really brave, and yeah,” Nami rambled, “Um… I like you.”
“I like you too,” I said immediately.
“You do?” Nami breathed.
“Dude, the first time I saw you I was just, fascinated by you, and how beautiful you were, and I was so curious about everything you are, and when we talked and went to your shul you were so sweet and thoughtful and you just want the best for everyone, and hanging out with you was so great and I was so glad you wanted to, and I just – yeah,” I stopped, feeling embarrassed.
Nami’s four curved claws were all tapping together in happy unison.
“I just, think you’re really beautiful, and wonderful, and I’m happy we’re friends, and I’m happy you’re in my life,” I said firmly.
“I’m happy you’re in my life too,” Nami paused, “Because eyou’re really beautiful, and wonderful, and a great friend, and, well, I wouldn’t have stayed with Coyle forever, but you definitely helped me get out of that… faster.”
“Thank God,” I said honestly. Nami laughed softly.
“Well… um… do you wanna…” Nami paused.
“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” I asked immediately. Nami nodded eagerly and I bounced with excitement, my floof going every which way as I did so.
“We should go on a date,” Nami said eagerly.
“We should,” I paused, “First… can I… nuzzle you?”
“Oh!” Nami looked embarrassed and flushed again, her feathers all sorts of directions, “Yes! Yes please!”
I leaned down to her and gently nuzzled her, pressing my snout into hers. She felt nice and soft and fluffy, and she smelled like the fruit they ate at her shul, and I couldn’t help but giggle. She giggled too, and we pressed our noses together for a minute, before pulling away and laughing with each other.
“Well then,” I said.
“Yes,” Nami grinned.
“Wanna go see a movie?” I asked.
“Ooh yes!” she agreed, and we walked out of the house together, laughing and talking about nothing in particular –
And we have made each other infinitely happy since.  
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HOW HAS YOUR CHARA DEVELOPED FROM THEIR ORIGINAL CONCEPT?
PART ONE. what thing(s) initially inspired your character?   mmm i’m going to say mainly house of leaves and movies like black swan / the babadook. i am totally infatuated with the idea of monstrosity in the mundane. in the form of a house. a role. a pop-up book. in millie’s case, a teenage girl. in all of these things ( with some obvious grey areas wrt house of leaves ), the monstrosity is beyond the sight and control of the people the monster is inhabiting. it grows up inside them and consumes. that’s what millie is. she’s a mundane incubator for a larger, more terrifying thing, and what she’s becoming is beyond her control. she either learns to live with it ( the babadook, house of leaves ) or succumbs to its worst version ( black swan ). i draw a lot of inspiration for millie’s appearance and personality from stories specifically centered around teenage girls like virgin suicides, heathers, clueless, etc. and then of course i am inspired by night vale, which is responsible for getting me into the whole “lovecraftian horror” scene.
PART TWO.  how has their personality developed from their first concept?   i feel we’ve really gone to the opposite end of the spectrum with millie in terms of personality. she started as a generally kind, timid girl, afraid of herself and the terrible thing she’s becoming. now she’s … unpleasant bordering on mean, rude as hell, snarling, and has this personality that, even if it doesn’t necessarily fill up a room, definitely changes the atmosphere when she enters. and i think what i like best about this personality change is she’s … not so afraid of herself anymore, nor what she’s becoming. of course it’s scary, but she doesn’t live in fear of it. she isn’t trying to repress it or kill it or anything. she’s just learning to cope with it and grow into it, even if she isn’t certain of the outcome. she isn’t afraid of not being human, she’s afraid of losing her humanity. so i think that’s been a development for the better.
PART THREE.  how has their appearance developed from their first incarnation?   first incarnation millie was very … clean, stylish, hygienic, and generally approachable in terms of appearance. which if you have been here for longer than a week or so, you’ll know is the exact inverse of the grimy, trashy, dirty, and generally unfriendly in appearance millie we know today. a lot of this has to do with how her story and concept has changed from “missing person whom everyone knows of yet no one Knows” to “hatchling eldritch abomination trying to make peace with her departure from humanity”. anyway. as time goes on i feel she blends in less and less with the people around her which is surely an unconscious reflection of how her being divine is distinguishing her from your average human being. also, she probably gets a new tattoo every time i try to put her design down on paper? most recent additions include “GOOD OMEN” across her knuckles and the poison apple on her bicep.
PART FOUR. what do you think most makes your character unique?   hmm … prooobably i would say that her becoming a monster isn’t … indicative of a moral deficiency. it isn’t meant to symbolize an evil within, or a consequence of moral failing. it’s just a facet of who she is that she is learning about and trying to cope with, if not trying to eventually foster and grow into. writing her the first couple of months on this blog where she was so afraid of what she was just bummed me out and honestly bored me bc we all know how that “woe is me, who could love a monster” bit goes. so i’m grateful now to just have a character that’s ready to roll with these punches, not spend too long brooding over something inevitable, and find what little comforts she can in a becoming that is beyond her control.
TAGGED BY: @herdsheep – thank you! TAGGING: @glacierfront … i thought of u immediately. and whoever else would like to do this! just make sure u tag me so i can see and stuff :^)
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