#but im going to stop bcus CLEARLY i am right | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sw4tch · 1 year

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listen HAHA i get IT universe, what a FUNNY joke

i asked to be revered and adored as I deserve and u sent me a poorly socialized guy that saw my POLITENESS and GENUINE GOODNESS as signs that I LIKED HIM ROMANTICALLY, and after i rejected him, he still KEPT AT IT bcus apparently he must have thought i changed my mind WHEN I KEPT ACTING EXACTLY THE SAME???? BCUS I AM NOT A MEAN PERSON????

and YOU the universe must be having a laugh like "ooohhh didnt u cry and beg for someone to love and care for you?? didnt you weep openly after not feeling cherished??? here's someone that Wants you, because he's the only one who does!!!" like FUCK OFF!!!! FUCK OFF!!!!

I know I AM WEIRD and OFF PUTTING, but even I DESERVE BETTER!!!!!! I FUCKING DO!!!!!

So why won't this guy be NORMAL around ME!!! IS THIS MY KARMIC PUNISHMENT FOR LOVING TOO MUCH??? IM SORRY I EVER DARED TO BE GAY AND YEARNED, YEARNED A LOT, BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE HOUNDED LIKE THIS ANYMORE.

I PROMISE THAT MY FEARS OF BEING THIS GUY BUT FOR SOMEONE ELSE JUST MULTIPLIED EVEN MORE, I WILL NEVER EXPRESS MY AFFECTION EVER AGAIN FOR SOMEONE THAT CLEARLY DOESN'T WANT IT, I KNOW I KNOW NO ONE WANTS ME BUT WHY MUST I BE PUNISHED LIKE THIS

i hate it!!! I hate conflict and being mean!!! I don't know how to tell this guy

"HEY MAN YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND BUT I TRULY WISH YOU TREATED ME MORE LIKE A STRANGER I CAN'T KEEP HAVING AWKWARD SMALL TALK WITH YOU WERE YOU OBVIOUSLY KEEP TRYING TO AMUSE ME, I CAN'T HANDLE THAT PRESSURE, ALSO YOU CLEARLY WANT MY ARTISTIC VALIDATION AND I GIVE IT TO YOU BECAUSE I AM NOT A MEAN PERSON, BUT STOP. ENOUGH!!! ENOUGH!!! THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU BUT YOU'RE ANNOYING!!!!!!!!"

Sobbing crying screaming I GET IT UNIVERSE, THIS IS A HILARIOUS JOKE BUT I WILL NEVER ACCEPT THIS "LOVE" YOU'VE SENT ME I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT

DAMN ME TO ETERNAL ISOLATION IF YOU WANT BUT I AM NOT!!!!!! APPRECIATING!!!! THIS GUY'S ATTENTION!!!!!!!! I PREFER TO KEEP WEEPING AND SOBBING WHEN I FEEL NOT LOVED DURING MY DARK TIMES!!!!!!! BUT I AM TIRED!!!!!

Fuck FUCK ALSO I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT, HE JUST SENT ME A MESSAGE SAYING "M'lady" I AM GOING TO MAUL HIM TO PIECES STOP MISGENDERING ME MAN!!! IM GONNA FUCKING SNAP!!! FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!!!!

AND U KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST??????????

that this is my own damn fault!!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ASSERT MY BOUNDARIES!!!!

i know i should BUT I AM SCARED OKAY!!!! I HATE CONFLICT i absolutely DO the Fawn trauma response every SINGLE day of my LIFE and u want me to REJECT A MAN TWICE??? TWICE????

I ALREADY DID IT ONCE WHY CANT THAT SUFFICE!!!!! FUCK!!!!!

Huffs huffs puffs sobs

anyway this rant was sponsored by me staying at home to work only to get messaged by him asking if i was coming today to the office

Only for me to go "haha no :3"

and then him going "oh but i wanted to show u my art :( in person. are u coming tomorrow then?"

And then me replying "No i will go until monday :)"

BCUS FUCK!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE I AM AT HOME and AT PEACE, I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT

And then of course he went "oh then until monday m'lady :)" LIKE CMON CMON CMON U DIDNT HAVE TO ADD THE M LADY THERE, BUT U DID BCUS OF COURSE YOU WOULD

Bcus the UNIVERSE HATES ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM NOT A LADY GODDAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVEN LESS YOUR LADY!!!!!!!

FREE ME FROM THIS PUNISHMENT I PROMISE TO NEVER LOVE AGAIN AND BECOME EVEN MORE WEIRD AND OFF PUTTING SO I CAN DIE IN ISOLATION, BUT NEVER IN HETEROSEXUALITY

Wheeze sob huff huff wheeze

Now that i have calmed down.

Rationally. This FEELS like a karmic punishment. But THE UNIVERSE IS NEUTRAL AND UNFEELING AND INDIFFERENT AND i know this. Because i am rational and the universe has nothing against me.

This is just bad funny ironic luck! We do not allow victim complexes here! But even then you're right and it is your fault! if you knew how to SET boundaries this wouldn't be happening

So WORK ON THAT, we truly cannot continue being HOSTAGES to ONE (1) ANNOYING GUY IN THE OFFICE

#FUCCCKKK!!!!!!!!#snaily blabber

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fsnowemblem · 6 years

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Would you do a big post about why you like Noire? I know like nothing about her but I think she's really cute and I wanna know what about her makes you love her so much

you asked for it m’dude

you FREAKING ASKED FOR IT

and i assume that at this point you dont care about awakening support spoilers

In general like her archetype of character, a seemingly fragile quirky character that can go insane/berserk, an example is A.B.A. from guilty gear, i love it so much that my first ever original character that i made is this archetype

I really like her backstory, not like in the sense that i relate, but like in the sense that is very interesting, having a shitty shitty parent that did experiments on her, she ends up being a guinea pig for hexes of her mother, and becomes very shy, very jumpy and she talks very softly and with kind of a broken voice, her mother ends up giving her a talisman that is supposed to be hexed so that noire can draw strenght from it so it will protect her, talisman is just a placebo thats just there for noire to vent up her frustrations, she starts yelling, laughing and becomes way more aggressive, it is not a happy story, when you see noire for the first time she has already gone through so much, that the very fact that she is there to fight still is kind of remarkable, she is so determined that a lot of the supports she has with other ppl usually are impressed by her will power alone, she comes to the army broken, sad and scared, like most of the kid generation to be fair, their world pretty much was destroyed, but she along with the others is so set in making things right that her fears and worries are not gonna stop her, in short terms, she is like actually the strongest and most incredible of the kids that went back in time

I touched on her personallity a bit but she is really cool, even tho she is kinda quiet and doesnt usually involves herself with others, she cares about every single person she interacts with and is ready to help and protect anybody at any time, the best example is the support with pannes kid, dude is as much as a scaredy cat as her and their support starts by her doing him a favor, no questions ask and no hesitation, followed by him being inspired by her conviction of making things right and overcoming her fears, so much so that he stops hiding all together, and that support also shows that she is smart as to when to snap and become all violent and shit and when to keep calm and make ppl listen to her, she has weaponized both her cuteness and her aggresive nature

She is a way bigger human than me, if my mother experimented on me to the point of me becoming her guinea pig, i wouldve been like, lol fuck you never talk to me again, as strong as blood bonds are, i am not one to take shit and expect to make peace later, she on the other hand wants to make amends, and even tho the tharja she makes ameds with is not her mother, she wants to avoid her to be repeated by the mistakes of her parents i think that is so cool too, she is incredible

I just love all the little details of her supports about just being so inspiring to the ppl she talks to and her determination being contageous while never hiding her fears, worries and hesitation, she pushes forward despite her being scared, broken and sad, while other ppl have to be pushed to the point where they will actually say how they feel, i like how honest and direct she is, and i also really love how if she gets frustrated with someone being blatantly lying or being dense as fuck she will just snap and yell the truth out of them or really clearly explain her point so then she can help them get better or help them realize something abuot them, her berserk form is kind of a last resourse in this regard but its super funny and endearing when she just looses patience and tell them in ther faces how it is

But enough about her backstory lets go to gameplay!

she has *the* coolest passive ability, vengance, when you get hit you do your damage, plus the damage you where dealt at i think the luck stat x 2? one of the stats x 2, not only you can level up that stat really easily, she levels it up a lot naturally and you end up getting vengance like 80% of the attacks if not all of them, she is a fucking killing machine its amazing, she is a bit of a glass cannon tho so be careful when using her, but i ended up using her so much that she started to just take like hits that where just around 20% of her health and subsequently dealing one hit kills, and since she is an archer, she can learn the one hit kill skill that is i believe the same stat as the vengance one, so since she already levels it up so fast naturaly she either does a one shot critical, she does a straight up critical hit that will murder fools straight up OR she will deal damage BACK that destroys ppl, SHE. IS. INCREDIBLE

She is very resistance heavy and in the tail end missions of awakening you are usually getting bombarded by wizards not only is that helpful, they usually attack her bcus she has the least ammount of health so you can just go destroying magical fools left and right, and this is like, just vanilla noire, the first time i played awakening, gregor (a mercenary) was the parent she inherited a skill from, i made her a mercenary after getting said vengance and one hit kill chance, she gained sol, so when she did some insane damage she cured herself up to full health, proceeding to just freaking MURDER, i went with pretty much just her alone in one of the hollow boxes thingies and she just destroyed the whole map by herself taking like 3 damage total, when gaius was her father in my 2nd or 3rd playthru, she had the vengance stat to 50% so her vengance triggered EVERY SINGLE TIME plus the one hit kill skill she was the deadliest unit i had but she kept her glass cannon-ess trait so i had a healer next to her all the time, that being said tho she was my go to, oh shit this unit is super tanky, les go girl 1 shot it, and she did 100% of the time, and the 3RD TIME (or 2nd, i dunno) Libra was her dad, so i ended up making her a sorcerer, and needless to say, i think she ended up getting less vengance triggers but her magic power alone was dropping any fool that decided to wear metal armor that day and not go prepared for the biggest magic damage in human history

I really cant stress this enough

SHE.IS. A. GOD. DAMN. MONSTER. I. LOVE. HER. SO. MUCH.

Also needless to say, in one of my 3 playthrus, i just went straight up to grimma with her, she got hit to 1 hp left, did the vengance and got grimma herself to freaking 5 hp left GRIMMA, THE FINAL BOSS, THE finall boss that you usually have to use a falchion to do significant damge, she is the hero we need and deserve.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OF, HER MANIACAL LAUGH IS THE CUTEST SHIT IN THE UNIVERSE SHE LAUGHS LIKE A TRUE DISNEY VILLAN AND DOES THE MOST ADORABLE SQUEAL AT THE END OF IT HOLY SHIT, i played the game in english so maybe its just in the english version BUT DAMN DID THE VA FUCKING NAILED IT its like, so perfect how she goes from insane laughter to with that little little hint of her broken meekly voice, BOY HOWDY i fell in love then and there the first time i heard it, best part, she triggered a skill/got a critical hit so often that i hear BLOOD AND THUNDER!! and her laugh SO MUCH, AND IT NEVER GOT OLD I was allways allways aaaaallways all giddy bcus i love it so much, i have 3 critical triggers that i love with my whole heart in awakening, 1 is noires laugh, 2 is noire yelling blood and thunder and 3 is frederick saying “pick a god and pray” bcus hot damn all of them just give me goose bumps, also continuing in voice lines trends

HER VOICE ACTRESS IS SO GOOD i cannot even begin to think about a better job to do this kind of character her passive voice is so quiet, scared and broken and her aggressive one is SO aggressive there is no inbetween its either 100% or 1% volume and crazyness its incredible, her passive voice is like she is constantly in the brink of tears just by talking, and her aggressive one is in the brink of snapping your spine in half mortal combat style and going back to the archetype i like THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT DUDE, THIS IS THE PINICLE OF SHY GIRL THAT GOES INSANE VOICE

If you thought i was done gushing about her IM JUST BEGINNING, lets move to her overall design shall we?

comming off of the voice actress incredible job, her whole demeanor compliments her voice so well, its one of those designs that you just cant see it any other way (even tho i do some changes to it all the time xD) i just cant imagine her having that voice and *not* looking like that you know? she looks straight up incredible (i could maybe use actual breastplate rather than a boob window with a leather support underneath but hey, i guess nothing is perfect)

Her official art of her drawing back her bow but the arrow being all badly placed and shit is objectively the most adorable picture in the world

The tones of green they used for her are really cool i grew in a place with a lot of trees and i really find them soothing, her whole forest green design just kills me and compliment her browns of belt and leather so well, the diamond pattern is also rul cute rather than the boring line pattern virion has, complimenting her whole deal of her being as beautiful and precious as a diamond

The armor she has on her arm looks so good, and so contrasting to the whole outfit i think its really funny but really badass at the same time, why is she wearing a full on knight arm armor? i have no clue but. i. love. it. she is such a powerful unit that she just needs one arm to defend against scrubs aka all enemy units including grimma itself

HER SQUIGGLY EYEBROWS HOLY SHIT

THE CUTE ROBIN HOOD ASS FEATHER SHE HAS ON HER HEAD, THE HEADBAND, THE FREAKING GOLD HEADBAND DEAR LORD

HER

POOFY

PANTS

ARE

CUTE

I also really really like how she has like 5 leather belts that go from the belt to her high boots, its real unnecessary and you would think goofy as hell but it ENHANCES the poofy pants so good, now it looks liek a renissance striped poofy pants and i am a sucker for renissance clothing, also, imagine her doing flips and twirls with those, they are gonna follow her flow like a god damn princess dress and god dammit she deserves it bcus she IS A BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS 100/10 pants/belt combo, she also has the slickest quiver ever for her arrows, which she hangs on her waist and looks rul cute

HER BOOTS are the best boots in gaming, souper cute, super stylish and really cool looking i just love how tall and chunky they are, they are almost wider than her feet, top notch, the little hole pattern on them give them extra stylish points, they are very basic brown, which just goes to show, if you have a good premisse you can slack on some departments and still look cooler than most of the competition, the little beighe frills on the top of it just puts it all together, incredible, amazing, fantastic i would go on a date with those boots and give em smooches

Im a fan of short hair, i am also a fan of puffy hair and above all i am a FAN of poofy short hair, and she has both, excecuted to perfection, her little long hairs on the side to compliment her messy back, it looks incredible, the braided pattern on the top of her head that just SHOWS how much she cares about her cute hair and with reason bcus its the cutest hair ever, 1k/10 extremely kissable forehead to show love and support when words and praise are not enough, will make you think that she deserves an award for greatest person alive or something, so beautiful it will bring you to tears, so beautiful that will make any dark day a bit brighter, so cute that it surpasses any fuzzy animal on the planet, SO BRIGHT AND GORGEOUS THAT IT WILL BURN YOUR EYES, you get my point by now yes?

her poses of nervousness are cute as hell, makes you want to be there to support her in any way you can, but then you realise that you are looking in a mirror and that not only you see that you also need love and support, but you realize that you can give it, it makes you wanna be a better person, and make everyone around you grow with you, its a mirror into your best self, it will bring you to tears and want to ask for forgiveness to anything wrong you have done in your life

You know how sometimes too much of stuff that you like will sometimes not mix well and end up ruining something in the process? not this time m’dude

every

single

piece

flows and fits so well with every other composing a beautiful song named Noire, a song so beautiful, amazing, incredible, outstanding and mind blowing that i dont think there will ever be a shining light as bright as this in the whole time i have the privilege of walking on this little dot in the universe that we call earth

so when i say that i like everything about Noire i am NOT joking, i love this character to death, and even if i wrote this thread with a narrative of me starting really tame and gradually getting overly excited to talk about something that i really love culminating in some ridiculous shit, i really do love this character and i wish to write/design a character this appealing someday a character that seems pretty one note and simple but ends up rooting its way into your heart

#fsnow rambles like a god damn moron #noire #fire emblem awakening #i told you i would write a 10k letter essay if you asked me to go more indepth #but nobody listens #fsnow slowly descends into madness

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sw4tch · 3 years

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Ugh I'm so MAD!!!! CHOMP CHOMP BITE VIOLENCE CHOMP

((No readmore on mobile so pls look away))

I'm cleaning out my room bcus i might move (emphasis on might, since nothing has been confirmed yet).

And while nothing is sure right now, i still want the opportunity to take this as motivation to clean my room.

So i started with my biggest bookshelf, which has been a mess bcus it has accumulated stuff starting from my highschool years. And regardless of if i move or not, there's been things I've been wanting to throw out for literal years.

Anyway. Me cleaning out this bookshelf sent my mother into a rage bcus "I'm doing things THAT STRESS HER OUT" and she looked so hurt that i was "SO EAGER TO MOVE OUT" and like. She just told me "STOP STRESSING ME OUT, YOU NEVER CONSIDER ANYONE'S FEELINGS, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE MY BACK HURT BCUS OF THE STRESS" and like.

That's so fucking stupid. One, i closed the door to my room so that my cats couldn't come and play while im trying to tidy up, so if im stressing her out, it's definitely not bcus im being Noisy or whatever. Two,

Ugh while i was writing this i got into an argument with my mother bcus she's still angry and she shouted at me.

And normally i would yell back bcus i have a lot of anger inside me, but today i tried to stay calm and speak slowly and clearly. Though i still cried while talking like that, i tried to stay firm and cold. And i tried to reason with her that one way or another, i had to start cleaning my room. Better late than never. But she won't have it. She started crying and arguing that i am more than happy to go and leave her alone.

And that she's angry that this past week I've been cold to her and that i dont speak to her and.

Well, we haven't talked, really talked, in years. We're like reluctant roommates more than mother and uh child i guess.

Anyway. I don't think I've been cold. I've been like I've always been. I will give this to her though, today she took me to drink a coffee and i didn't talk bcus i was thinking a lot (particularly, i was thinking about cleaning the bookshelf lol). But she took this as a sign that i hate her or something.

Even though, she could have started a conversation. She could have asked me how i was feeling, or why i was quiet. But she didn't.

I was thinking about how the time i went to watch venom with a friend, i actually had a hard time finishing the leftover popcorn we had from the cinema bcus we were excitedly talking to one another. But during this coffee break, it was silent and i finished my food quickly.

It's bcus we don't really talk. We have never really talked person to person. Bcus she doesn't see me as a person with complex thoughts inside me. I'm just... idk. An annoying roommate probably.

Sigh. Idk. I'm not angry anymore. I'm sad. And yes, i am eager to leave. I want to be free, finally, of all the abuse and deep loneliness I've suffered for years.

I might be lonely too at the new place. But being lonely with myself sounds like a really happy scenario for me. I've been waiting for it for so long.

#snaily blabber #sor ry for early evenin g ven t. sometimes it b e like that

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