Tumgik
#but it gave off strong ''ur so dumb'' vibes and i just tried brushing it off and acting normal
untouchabyeolman · 3 years
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lolololol
#i keep telling myself that i don't have anxiety bc like it's maybe ''not that bad'' and just me overreacting but like#i've been trying to distract myself all day#telling myself to stop thinking about it#and even giving myself pep talks like ''ur gonna feel shitty about it for a few days but this happened before and itll go away eventually''#but bc of the stupid thing i did today im like#''haha yeah it's...it's fine...it's gonna be fine...''#but then i keep having that sickening feeling in my stomach that makes me want to reach in there and rip it out of me#and i was pretty tired but i dont wanna go to bed and try to sleep bc i KNOW it's all im gonna think about and my stomach's gonna feel funny#and im gonna feel like shit but i dONT want to feel like shit#i just want to forget it and DIE#and then the thing with my programming where one person agrees with me and the other doesnt#but i FEEL like i'm right bUT MAYBE IM NOT AND I'M GONNA GET A BAD MARK ON MY HW AGAIN FOR BEING STUPIDT#DUE TO ME OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING AND AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#also i had my first PT for my back today and im still thinking about how the dude laughed when i answered his question#but it gave off strong ''ur so dumb'' vibes and i just tried brushing it off and acting normal#and later on having a decent conversation with him while he worked on my back#but him laughing at me was still in the back of my mind like im sorry idk how to articulate exactly how my leg is feeling#so its just this whole cycle of well we had a pretty good and friendly conversation after so maybe he didnt mean it like that#to me still feeling stupid bc i gave a stupid answer which had him laughing but not bc i was being funny.............#like i wish i could just fall asleep if i shut everything down right now but i know i'm just gonna feel sick to my stomach#and stay up trying to make myself not to think about all this and failing over and over again#UUGGHHHHHHH.#personal
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flowerconcept-blog · 7 years
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neighbor!ravi
alright wonshik is a lyricist/producer and his apartment is sorta a mess and he’s in and out at really weird times of day
everyone in the building is a lil bit intimidated by him because he’s always wearing cool streetwear and has headphones on and generally has a too cool aesthetic????/ even though he’s really a sweetheart everyone sort of assumes he’s a lil bit of a asshole
at first you definitely thought he was a jerk because that was just the initial vibe he gave off and the only time you really see him is when he’s coming back from a workout all sweaty and ur like
okay well he’s hot ……… but also once you saw him make some guy(it was hongbin) take a bunch of photos of him ?????? like why????? and he always plays his music too loud in his earphones and you can hear it?????? seems like a jerk
but then…… he gets a puppy
and you start to see him a lot more because he walks the dog at the same time as you’re getting home from work, and you’re still a little intimidated by him so you don’t talk to him but he’s always cooing at the dog and no one bad could be that cute with their puppy
for a while you just coexist peacefully until you notice…………………. something is wrong
you really like plants, you have lots and lots in your apartment and you have one outside of your door in the hallway because it gets a lot of light and you think it’s like a cuter version of a welcome mat
and one day you notice that your baby plant (affectionately named after snsd’s taeyeon because it’s so pretty) has bite marks?!?!?!??!?!?!? ? someone has been EATING???!?!??!?! your plant
and immediately you suspect wonshik and his puppy but you aren’t about to barge over to his apartment and yell at him for his dog biting your plant because that would be a little nuts of you and it could’ve been a one time thing????
it’s not.
after like two weeks your plant is really starting to suffer and you know it’s dumb but you have raised this plant and you feel a strong attachment to it, plus it needs a lot of sunlight and there’s no good place in your apartment for it and you don’t want it to die
so you knock on wonshik’s door and you hear some clattering inside and then he opens the door with his hair all messy and you …. well you’re like wow he’s cute but you’re on a mission so then you’re like “has your dog been eating my plant”
for a second wonshik literally looks like he’s been caught committing murder or something he’s so shocked but then he starts stuttering “i- uh- yeah butt’s teething right now and i can’t really control him…. and he really likes your plant….. i’m so sorry………”
ur like “u named ur dog butt???????????”
and he’s like “uh…… yes…….. hahaahahahahahahaha funny right???” extremely awkwardly and that’s the moment you’re like wow i really got this guy wrong i guess wearing yeezy doesn’t make you an asshole cause this guy is really just a big soft teddy bear
(+that’s the moment wonshik is like wow my neighbor is even cuter up close)
there’s a moment of silence and then you’re like “well … um ….. don’t worry about it i just wanted to know. if it was your dog or if mrs lee developed a liking for flower leaves” and then u leave because really?????? that joke was so stupid??????
wonshik thought it was cute and he talks to butt about u “they’re so cute and funny wow butt …. they’re so cool” and butt is like i’m a dog
anyways he really does tries to keep butt from eating your plant but that dog is just extremely determined
after another week of stressing over your half eaten plant you’re passing by a pet store on your way home from grocery shopping and your mind immediately goes to wonshik and butt and you’re like
maybe getting butt a toy for teething will keep him away from my sweet baby? but really you just want an excuse to see wonshik again lmao
so that evening you eat your dinner and then you pretend you aren’t brushing your hair to look nice for your cute neighbor (you are) and then go over and knock on the door
this time when wonshik opens the door he’s wearing a big sweatshirt and sweatpants and he looks so cozy you just want to cuddle into him but you brace yourself because you gotta stay strong …. ahhhhh
butt is barking in the background and ur like “i got…. butt this toy because i thought maybe he would eat it instead of my plant……….” and wonshik is like ?!?!?!? ?!?!? !??!?!?!??! thank you and he says your name and ur like gtg…………………… because you’re starting to blush his voice is so DEEP and NICE and when he said your name you got goosebumps
he’s left in the dust like damn…… they’re cute and thoughtful???????i gotta write some lyrics about how my heart is racing
and wonshik totally doesn’t change his schedule so he can accidentally run into you and have conversations but yes, he totally does. and you totally don’t go outside to water your plant (which is recovering because butt has stopped teething mostly) when you know he takes butt for a walk but you totally do
all of wonshik’s friends are like dude just go for it ask them out you literally will not shut up about them but both of you are like “no they totally aren’t going out of their way to talk to me! this is normal! haha”
you do this back and forth dance for a little while and you start to stop by his apartment to play with butt and lowkey flirt with wonshik every couple of days and he convinces himself you aren’t REALLY interested and it’s very slow burn until
one very hot day you knock on wonshik’s door and he opens it and he’s in a pair of joggers with no shirt all sweaty and you’re like holy FUCK because he is unreally hot
and FINALLY wonshik picks up what you’re putting down and his eyes go dark and he drags you inside
your first kiss is against the wall right by his door with butt nipping at your shoelaces and when you finally pull apart the two of you are panting with his hands under your shirt
and you’re like wonshik if you don’t take me to your bedroom right now i don’t know what i’ll do (he’s cool w/ that)
but after you guys are done wonshik goes from intense gaze and super raspy voice to his normal stammery self “i like you so much and i don’t want this to just be physical i mean if you want that that’s okay but could i take you on a date”
and you peck him on the lips and of course you say yes
(but also “you really have a YOLO tattoo?????? really???????”)
he buys you ten plants to make up for butt’s destructive streak
you learn that the pics he makes hongbin take are for instagram and now hongbin has to take couple pics of you wearing the matching stussy sweatshirts wonshik bought you. you pretend u aren’t cool with it but honestly you think it’s cute
he likes to “coincidentally” be fresh out of the shower shirtless whenever you have plans to go out and you knock on his door, and you’re like “babe i know what you’re doing” but it works every time
he takes you to a lot of concerts and acts all nonchalant when they let u into the vip section, raps along to verses and pretends he hasn’t been practicing in the bathroom all month
you find his rapping unfairly hot but u refuse to give him that power over you
snuggle dates with you and wonshik and butt all cuddled up on the couch watching tv or playing video games!!! big bear hugs from sweaty wonshik after he works out which you half love half hate!!!! soft talks at night before falling asleep that he always thinks of when writing love songs!!!
all the grandmas in the building think the two of you are super sweet and coo whenever you walk into the lobby holding hands
for your 1yr anniversary he writes+produces+raps a song for you and yeah you cry and then he cries because you’re crying and you’re really really soft for each other even though you pretend you aren’t
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