#but it's still so hard to truly accept love and I'm so grateful for Adaine and Aelwyn for having a story that I can see myself in

[melancholy--lion]

If you saw this on the Dropout Discord, no you didn't. But I have to talk about the family dynamics and relationships in this last episode of Fantasy High because I can't stop thinking about it.

Okay but seriously, the conversation with Sklonda and the one with Aelwyn have me feeling all sorts of ways thanks to my weird mix of developmental trauma. They hit SO HARD

I can't stop thinking about how Aelwyn felt like she had to move out not because anyone did anything wrong at Mordrid Manor, but because they were too kind and nice to her. Like there's this incredibly confusing and impossible to articulate combination of despair, confusion, disgust, jealousy, and shame that comes from being in a place that loves and accepts you for you after being in a place that didn't for so long. And how even if you know logically that the place is safe and you are loved, your body just doesn't believe it and you're constantly on edge and overwhelmed. It's painfully relatable as someone with that experience. I've never seen someone else relate or put those feelings into words before but I feel so seen.

Sklonda just caring so deeply about her son and being so worried and also so frustrated with her son's friends is just heartbreaking. And her not liking that they call him Ball is just icing on the cake. Because in reality, it's not a very kind nickname, seeing as it comes from Riz being bullied. And even though Riz has reclaimed it, the scars are still healing for Sklonda and that's deep too. That hit real hard too!

OH and don't even get me started on Fabian being neglected. His mom called FIG AND NOT HIM?! OH MY GOD IT HURTS! The role play this season hurts SO GOOD!!

#all I'm saying is thank god I have therapy tomorrow #very grateful to my friends and also to be in a happier and healthier place now than I ever was with my family in my life #but it's still so hard to truly accept love and I'm so grateful for Adaine and Aelwyn for having a story that I can see myself in #Even though my mom and I are no contact I still think about her sometimes #Like she sucks but she did advocate hard for me when I was being bullied in school and I'm grateful for that #dimension 20 #d20 #d20 fantasy high #Fantasy high junior year #fhjy #d20 fhjy #dimension 20 fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fhjy ep 10 #fhjy 10 #adaine abernant #fabian seacaster #riz gukgak #aelwyn abernant #sklonda gukgak #brian murphy #lou wilson #siobhan thompson