#but some ppl dont even get that chance

[mausolealdrift]

its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website

#like yeah i WISHED i could do that sort of stuff #but i felt so completely isolated from everyone else at my school bc ppl were so nasty to me #its fine cos im doing all the stuff i missed out on now that im in university #but some ppl dont even get that chance #maybe its not that serious but. idk. just dont be a dick #but also ppl who didnt do that stuff acting like theyre better than ppl who did is fucking annoying and also a dick move. btw #📼

[crescentfool]

the persona 3 protagonist 25th anniversary nui in food appliances!

#lizzy speaks #persona 3 #minato arisato #makoto yuki #guys friendly reminder that this is what adulthood is about dont listen to anyone who calls you cringe #hence why im putting these in the main tags. i mean they're not incorrect for what the photos are about. lmao #anyway this was a very fun birthday!!! i feel very loved and supported by so many people and i got to do very fun things (like this)... #i think... birthday is like thanksgiving to me. in the gratitude respect. #a reminder of all the lovely people that i have gotten a chance to meet and how i've learned from them #it makes me very happy to have been born... i think every day is a great day to celebrate life's grandeur + brilliance + magnificence #it's just a very poignant and strong feeling that i have that i'm happy to have met so many wonderful people #and while there are some people i've only known for brief periods of time or people who i havent really been good at keeping in contact wit #i do cherish it! im so grateful. so happy that there are people who cheer my silly shenanigans on #while there are ways in which aging makes me go “oh hmm” i think overall i'm happy that i get to keep on living and learning #i have so much fondness for humanity and people... like even if i dont get to talk to ppl directly i just get very emotional yknow #like wow.. you exist.. thats so fucking awesome... i hope you have an awesome day... im glad our paths could cross #if you have read up to this point of my tags.. thank you for reading and being part of my life #i will keep on being the silliest guy ive ever known! cheers to more shenyanigans and self-discovery :3

[silenthillbunni]

._.

#no to be mean but sometimes i just dont have the energy to make myself like reply to ppl nd try to interact #continiously ppl block me bc i dont reply fast enough or etc etc #nd it's just like damn i tried just to get blocked???? 🥴🥴🥴 #also funny thing in my experience it's mostly girl mutuals who lose patience nd block me #hmmm inchresting 🧐 #anyway im wording this clumsily but like im just so exhausted nd my heart's tired #im tired of building some sort of light online attachment to someone #just to feel crushed when i notice they've blocked me nd i dont even know why??? #also wanna be clear that im referring to ppl i've talked to. not just interactions. sksks 🥴 #i know not everyone will block me nd i know there r nice ppl here but like i dont have the energy to sort thru it all #or take chances bc im tired 😭😭 #i feel bad bc there r ofc very kind ppl who reach out to me nd stuff but in my bones im dejected #like what if i actually do start talking nd i start feeling affinity to u nd slight healthy attachment nd then boom one day u block me??? #i feel mean nd oversensitive complaining abt this but idk 😣 #i liked this mutual nd talking to them but they blocked me nd idk whyyyy what did i do i always do smth y'all gotta fill out a form telling #maybe if i had irl friends i wouldnt care tho im aware im a loser

[bingobongobonko]

TAKEN SALVATION

#experiencing thoughts abt yves and telly's fight alright... #sighes.. #bingo art #yves #lancer rpg #you may be asking. why are they fighting.... simple #they are both stupid as hell #(endearingly) #violence cw #blood #but yeah no in actuality. yves feels like telly took his martyrdom and a chance of salvation by saving his life #(even though yves was very afraid of the prospect of death and realized it wasnt HIS own desire to die) #but still hes so upset with telly they kinda just fought it out #and by fought it out i mean yves gave telly a smackdown #telly's a decent guy he just doesnt know when to not press ppls buttons #cuz he immediately implied a threat towards elias and thats what made yves just say fuck you and tackle the guy #alongside the martyr thing but thats where most of the rage towards telly is coming from #they just really dont get along. its very antagonistic towards each other. telly tried at some point but theres a huge disconnect #between the two #they dont get each other and they never will yk #yves is a powerhungry assholr and telly is an indecisive asshole

[skrunksthatwunk]

found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know. #at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow? #it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker. #i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time. #but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him. #im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more? #just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him. #she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on. #she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him? #so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea. #but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

[piplupod]

i think what upsets me most, besides the fact that this means no more accordion unless i somehow miraculously get it fixed, is that despite my best efforts to be careful and not mess up, i still managed to make a mistake and fuck it up. despite understanding and appreciating how expensive and valuable and fragile this instrument is, despite my best efforts to keep it safe and in good condition, i still managed to mess up and damage it.

like ... I just mess up. I have something nice, something of value, and I cannot seem to keep it safe and taken care of. things end up ruined. shirts get holes, dresses get stains, electronics get battery acid leaking or cracked, dishes get broken, book pages get torn or bent, trinkets get chipped, instruments are bonked and rattled. i am so terrified of handling anything that things most often just stay sitting in lidded bins so they are safe from carpet beetles and dust and dirt and food and me.

i just feel awful, i dont understand why I can't just keep things safe and in good condition ?? why is this so impossible for me, especially when i care so much ??

#i think this is partially why i dont allow myself any good art supplies #I got a set of charcoals several years ago and I've barely touched them bc im terrified of fucking them up #but if i get smth from the dollar store? that stuff is getting used immediately #bc its cheap and its not very good quality #im not afraid of using things up. im afraid of ruining them #im such a careful person too but i just. always end up fucking up some time #idk what is wrong w me #this sounds so melodramatic but god im tired #i still feel sick that my nice shirt from the 70s got a tiny hole burned into it bc of fire sparks that i didnt know were around #like i just. cannot have nice things idk. i have the absolute worst luck it seems like. or maybe i just am not careful enough #idk how to be any more careful though honestly fhfkdl #like i either keep things stored away safely sealed up or i am exceedingly careful in handling them #and do everything i can think of and find out to make sure nothing happens #and yet ! #i just feel like a massive idiot for this idk fhfmkl silly me to think i could be trusted w this instrument #there are some websites and videos teaching ppl how to fix accordions but... its complex #but i either attempt a fix myself or never play it again bc getting a professional is too expensive #so ... i guess I'll have to take the dive and tinker w it if i want even a chance at playing again #im just terrified I'll break it even further #also i dont think i have access to everything I'll need for fixing it depending on whats gone wrong #so idk if it'll even be possible even if its doable like. i need Tools and leather and felt #i have spare leather scraps but no felt :| #and no special pliers fjfkdl #argh argh im so upset w myself for this #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[oscill4te]

Manifesting that this group hang out thing goes okay todayy

#im so nervous abt it i feel like theres so much liability for it to fall apart lol #and the inner control freak in me is pacing around and another part of me wants to freeze and do nothing #good that i woke up early at least #its hard cuz everyone seems to want to do different things and theres a chance ppl may opt out and. aaaa. #someone wants to go to the mall. me and 1 person wanted to do an escape room. another wants to go to this grunge clothing shop in the city #some want to drink. some dont. some want to drink at a bar some want to drink at our place to save money #u see what i meannnn. aaaagh #i just hope everyone vibes and is okay with whereever this planless hang out takes us #im personally ok with anything as long as everyone is happy and not super bored (an issue that arises w one particular person) #its only an issue cuz whenever they get bored they make their partner feel bad for wanting ti stay. its liek. why did u even come then if #ur just gonna be bored and mopey? idk #ig im just anxious beans idk. group settings stress me out cuz im always worried what if ppl dont mesh well? #its gonna be 7 ppl aaaa

[orcelito]

Painted my nails. Shit camera is shit so u can't see the sparkles well, but it's my magnetic green nail polish. Something a bit on the subtle side for a funeral :p I wanted to go black but. Not pure black.

It's a "celebration of life", as they're calling it. We're not going there to be depressed. We're going there to remember the man we all lost. And he would've Loved for me to have a little fun with it.

#speculation nation #nails shit #im not exactly enthusiastic about tomorrow. not the least of it being the fact that i cant run from my grief if im surrounded by it #but theres... a lot family drama around. some i hadnt even heard about b4 today haha #so we are just hoping that there wont be any Incidents. #never am i more grateful for my reputation of being a wallflower than i am now #me simply being there is a testament to my care. and they see that. #if necessary i may or may not just... fade into the background. i dont know. i can never predict this shit. #with my grandma's funeral i was downright peppy. in a way that threw a few people off. #especially since i was one of the handful of ppl speaking that day #dont know what possessed me to volunteer for public speaking. i was always pretty close with her tho #wanted to do it for her. not exactly jumping at the chance to be Emotionally Vulnerable in front of a crowd again #but i dont regret it. #ive been oscillating wildly between manic and depressive for Weeks now. so i have no idea what im gonna land on tomorrow. #either im happy being around family and end up peppy and social. or im depressed by the situation and end up quiet. #maybe both. who knows. i sure fuckin dont. #im gonna wear a dress for the first time in years and im Not fucking shaving my legs. i think im gonna wear tights or smth. might as well. #sigh. i dont like being so familiar with funerals. #i dont like being so familiar with death. #i hope i get at least a few years between this and the next death i experience. pleeaaaase haha #5 deaths in 5 years. i dont like it one bit. #negative/ #i guess.

[keepthemacramesecret]

screaming throwing knives etc thinking abt the good timeline where eight is doing this instead of random-secret-doctor-we-dont-know

#dw chrono #just the extra weight of the parrallels to zagreus #which is ALsO a big anniversary special i always forgeT #truly i dont even havebeef w john hurt or war dr as heis in the ep #just conceptually i dont think it was necessary #and we get so few chances to revisit prev doctors it feels like a waste to use one on a new guy we arent invested in #esp when 8 is still like... debatably canon at all bc some ppl donteven count the movie #and 9 also got screwed over bts tee bee aych #alsooooo charley or lucie as the moment 😭 #a

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

can i get opinions on sera thanks

When i say everyone is wrong except me i mean that apparently the general fandom opinion is weird but my friends' opinions are right and cool and sexy, you guys get her <3 Just. Look in a way i can't even blame people for hating Sera because the game tries really hard to paint her in a bad light, the bigotry in her writing is so apparent and it makes me so mad. Like some fandom opinions are still weird on their own but it does very much feel like she is set up to be hated. Also i love her characcter arc in my head but she barely even gets any chance to grow in the games?? Hate that sm she deserves so much better (i could have had a bingo if it wasn't for this :(). But yes anyway Sera is my ride or die bestie she is my beeloved <33

[character bingo]

#like thematically with sera especially her internalised racism is really important to be bc. this shit is real and a real bitch to unlearn #*me #and i am so mad she never gets a chance to do that in game bc you dont even KNOW about it until you have high approval with her #but that would be a whole other rant hdjkasdhkadsl #anyways. ty for the ask! <33 #ask game/ my answers #also by the by i totally get why some ppl may not vibe with sera that is totally valid #it's just kind of a case for me of you can hate her just hate her for the right reasons hjadsklhsda #cos. yea idk fandom likes to be weird sometimes

[quenthel]

My grandma: So what kind of men are you into?

Me:

#quenthel special #talking to my grandma is a 50/50 chance that she forgots how to act and start saying some bullshit #like why do you care??? WHYYYY??? #im never coming out to her but also why would you want to know this... i mean ik why #she wants to brag to her friends abt how pretty successful and married to a nice man i am but since i dont have a bf she is so worried #like she cant brag :( this is so sad we all should cry and weep #grandma die city!!!!!! #im not even hurt im just soooo annoyed like she does not even care abt me #ppl talking abt grandma's cooking and grandma's unconditional love im so happy you experienced that but its not relatable for me... #you mean your grandma is not a vile serpent who emotionally manipulated everyone in her family and abused one of your parents? #and continues to hurt your family and your mom specifically too? and never gives any financial support and actively undermined your family's #attempts to get housing??? wild!!! #ok ill shut up abt this sorry dhhdjddjds back to playing pillars

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ay ay ay. my head feels like its stuffed completely full of cotton. bulging at the seems #its just that wrung out ive been crying too much feel. i just had to do a bunch of application stuff yesterday night #and there were way too many tears so i work up out of focus with salt in my eyelashes. so i wasnt that productive despite the fact i really #need to b rn. and i met with my boss for our weekly meeting and its just so many things i have to do #like theres this procedure for some new equipment we have and im testing it out but like she wants to see it in action and im like treading #close to dangerously unstable so the chances i burst into tears in public is quite high which is why i hide in my apartment and only go to #the lab when no ones there. but no im prob gonna have to go in Thursday and have to go drive like and hr away next week so we can hopefully #have all the equipment we need for another project thats gonna kill me. plus we got contacted by a group we were gonna work with last year #who wanna work with us again. which is objectively good like itll look real good on a cv to b involved and like even non science ppl would #prob find it cool. but i csnt feel any of that bc i dont kno how im gonna be able to go back and forth contacting the other lab group i #have to work with in order to do everything. which its like itll b fine #ive done it before. 2 of the 3 things i have done before so itll be fine. it just doesn't feel like it #it feels like im dissolving into pieces and everythings spinning too fast. theres a film between myself and everything else so i cant touch #anything and it cant touch me. #and its weird bc i know that burning myself out is what got me here but i still cant detatch myself from the soul crushing guilt of not #making every second productive. its disorienting bc my brain will b like: u should just stay here over break and get stuff done #and like no. thats objectively the worst thing i could possibly do. i just feel like a wet glob of paper towels. ive already committed #myself to only 13 days being gone. only have to trudge through like 21 days 1st. how? no idea #like im sure itll b fine but somethings gotta give before my brain implodes beyond repair. if were not there already #ay everytime my boss says something nice abt me to someone it just feels like a knife in the gut. like shes not lying but i just feel like #ive fallen so far that shes talking abt a past verson of me and it makes me sad. like idk how obvious it is but im sure i have terrible #vibes irl lol like the sort of pained twisted up little smiles u make when u dont wanna lie but u dont wanna b honest ay #itll b fine. i can feel the floorboards giving way so somethings close to giving just have to see where and in what form the metaphor #actulizes. hopefully it does so quickly bc im bored and tired of living like this. and i dont really wanna go home and explode into tears #like a child and have my parents deal with me. which they would bc theyre great. i just dont wanna worry them sigh... #unrelated #i should sleep bc i gotta get up and burn my brain out being a scribe tomorrow morning. at least i get to hang out with someone cool

[cruelsister-moved2]

I find it completely bizarre that there are many people on this website who lose their shit about how the Evil Gatekeeping Lesbians are so MEAN to people who call themselves futches or femme4femme and accuse butches and femmes of trying to ~protect our purity~ or whatever when honestly it’s just. Light complaining abt those people because a) they’re annoying and b) they’re usually condescending and shitty towards butch/femme culture like it’s not a big deal

no literally this stoppp its like i dont even know you people im just femmefully chilling but people act like you are personally destroying their whole life or something like come on..especially when people act like butch lesbians are singlehandedly ruining their lives or something like those scary butch lesbians with so much power over the world

#ask #anon #some of the posts people make like it is not that serious #and i dont like to be mean n make fun of ppl for beign lonely but i just think #if u even had like a chance at getting some hole you wouldnt be taking this so seriosuly