#but ummm if there's anything in particular to add feel free to reblog with it or send an ask!

[i-heart-hxh]

hi i have a question :3 i didnt rlly fully get these panels but was killua over the edge here bcuz he was worried of gon? like knowing bisky said he would leave gon to die someday.. i was guessing he got so paranoid of it and did this for gon's safety. (^^; help

Yeah, primarily what's going on in this exchange is Killua knows Gon has issues with seeing innocent people being killed, and he worries Gon will intervene if he sees the reality, and get himself killed or injured before they can complete their mission. So he's pushing Gon away for his safety, and so Killua can do what he needs to do without putting him at further risk. Killua did promise himself that he'd protect Gon and make sure Gon can fight Pitou, so this is a part of that.

It's actually part of a larger pattern we see with Killua's behavior towards Gon, where he decides to "protect" him by leaving him out of things and not giving him the full context of what's happening. Think of way back in Heavens Arena when Gido and Sadaso were threatening Zushi. Instead of telling Gon what was happening, Killua went behind his back and handled it himself. Another example is dealing with Rammot during the date with Palm. Not that Gon could have done anything then because he didn't have nen, but Killua doesn't even tell him anything about what happened after the fact.

Of course, it comes out of protectiveness and knowing Gon tends to take things too far, but at the same time it means their relationship can't be fully equal as things are--if Killua feels like he has to hide his own feelings and even what's going on around them in order to protect Gon, it means Gon can't make his own decisions or react to the full truth of a situation, and Killua has to make all these judgment calls about what he thinks Gon should and shouldn't know.

I actually think this exchange is interesting because here Killua is a lot more forthright than usual about what's going on and why Gon needs to stay out of it. But I think it also shows that the issues between them aren't entirely Gon's fault--it also comes from Killua pulling away as a result of his own ways of seeing Gon. Rather than laying out what's going on, discussing it, and letting Gon make his own decisions or talking it out so they both can figure out a solution, he makes decisions for him.

In this case I don't think he's necessarily "wrong" to do this within the context of the mission (though it ends up being a dangerous choice for Killua), especially because he tells Gon what's happening and why he's making the decision he is more-or-less, but it's part of a continuing pattern of Killua trying to shoulder burdens for Gon while (usually) shielding him from knowing Killua is even taking those burdens. In the process of taking on everything himself and not believing he needs backup or help, Killua very nearly gets himself killed (the needlefish scene). Only his kindness in seeing an enemy as a potential friend saves him ultimately.

We don't even know if Killua tells Gon the truth about what happened with that, either--my strong guess based on Killua's repeated tendencies is that he didn't, and he hides the seriousness of what happened to him because he knows it'll upset Gon and split his focus.

Also worth noting that Killua gets so worried about what Gon thinks of him and whether he sees him as a friend or a teammate in this arc, but here within the same arc we see Gon actively disappointed that Killua won't rely on him and stick with him, and wanting to continue to act together. We even see him thinking about it after they split up, worrying about Killua:

Of course this is well before he goes into his full rage hyperfocus that causes him to lash out at Killua, but I still think it's telling that here Gon is wanting to stick together and worrying about Killua's feelings. He seems pretty upset that Killua insists on doing this alone, even though he accepts Killua's logic.

This is all part of the communication tendencies on Killua's side that he's going to need to work on in order to have a better relationship with Gon. Of course, Gon has plenty of maturing to do himself, but I think it's worth remembering that Killua makes decisions like this a number of times that he thinks are in Gon's best interest, but it stunts their communication and means they can't work out the issues between them until they blow up in their faces.

Even their parting seems to be an example of this, where Killua makes all the decisions for Gon and tells himself it's in Gon's best interest, but likely doesn't explain fully why he's doing this. So again Gon is left in the dark about Killua's true feelings and motives.

It makes sense this is Killua's tendency, as is explored in canon Killua was raised with a smothering love, wherein he isn't able to have agency over his own life and others are constantly making decisions for him without his input. It makes sense his love for Gon contains some echoes of that.

Of course, it's something I'm sure they can overcome with time and maturity, but this scene is one example of Killua's protectiveness of Gon getting between the two of them.

#hxh #hunter x hunter #killugon #gonkillu #gon #killua #meta #long post #asks #luniandherkite #my posts #for some reason I feel like there's some aspect I'm leaving out in this post #but ummm if there's anything in particular to add feel free to reblog with it or send an ask! #and I guess I can always add on later if I figure it out #I'm not blaming killua here #he was doing the best he could in a tough situation

[realshowstopper]

21 Questions Tag Game

I was tagged by @dreamerinasmallworld, thanks homie !!!

Rules: Answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to know better

Nickname: Soph is a pretty common one! I’ve gotten loads from other usernames/urls over the years, but one nickname I don’t like is Sophie. It’s either Sophia, Soph, or Pia.

Zodiac sign: Capricorn!!!

Height: 5′ 6″ and a lil bit ;P

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw~!

Last thing Googled: On my computer, it was “cicada” bc I saw a dead one on the ground and wanted to confirm it was, in fact, a cicada. (it was) On mobile, it was “ap psychology unconditional positive regard” bc I wanted to remember what it was called and let google fill in the rest for me sjhgbdjfgbdjfg

Favorite musicians: Ummm...I don’t really know ?? I guess Owl City,, uhhhh Janelle Monae! Janelle Monae. ye

Song stuck in head: Way Down Hadestown from the Hadestown OBC !!

Following: 1875 from my main ( @twizzlerrthedragon)

Followers: 1890 omfg I haven’t looked at my follower account in so long this is wild wtf ???? thanks y’all I love y’all <3

Do I get asks: Yeah, usually when I reblog an ask meme or ask people to send in ideas! Every once in a while I get a random ask tho. They’re mostly art requests!

Amount of sleep: 8.5 hours exactly, every night. I do NOT compromise on sleep. I absolutely refuse. I would sooner drop out of school than get less than 6 hours of sleep more than two nights.

Lucky numbers: 7!! My birthday adds up to 7 :D

Wearing: A christmas crop top w lil snowmen, bright red high-waisted leggings, and pink skechers. yes, a fashion icon, I’m aware

Dream job: Omg DEFINITELY being a Broadway performer. I have done little to no training in anything required to do that so it’s never gonna happen, but I legit think that that’s what I ~Was Meant To Do~ (I don’t believe in that but y’know)

Instruments: um. I don’t like any particular instruments, but I’ve done approx. 3 years of training on the piano. and I can’t play anything except a song I wrote myself in first grade with four (4) whole notes

Languages: English is my native language, I’m conversationally fluent in Spanish (ustedes pueden enviarme mensajes y cosas en español!), and I can speak basic Dutch (hallo, ik ben een meisje lmao) and American Sign Language. I also know super low level basic French! (Bonjour oui oui ;P)

Favorite songs: Human by The Killers, Another Terrible Day from Lightning Thief the Musical, and Cecily Smith by Will Connolly

Random fact: I LOVE roller skating !!! It’s one of my favorite hobbies, alongside drawing :D (my skates are red w/ orange wheels :3 also yes I use lil emoticons like that in the year of our lord 2019)

Aesthetic: pastel colors!!! I love soft pinks and blues and whites, but honestly any color combo that’s pastel works for me (goth pastel, candy colored pastel, grayscale pastel...bro anything works) I also like whatever the opposite of minimalism is (cluttercore?) and I like HUGE and OPEN buildings. That’s the shit homie

Tagging: @fuck-hatchetfield-high @kickitupanotchbug @inevitablekickline @cheapenigma @showstoppinnumber @declansdumb and plenty of other people I can’t think of right now!! (I never remember people’s names even if they’re important to me sdfjhbsj so I just scrolled thru my blog and saw some of the first people I reblogged from) So if you want to do this, feel free to say I tagged you!!!

#sophia speaks #i was tagged #about me