#cheylizean

[mypinkparables]

8:11am

I be having my ideas and reservations

I never stop looking for confirmations

Somewhere between avoiding character defamation

While looking for life’s pleasures minus the temptations

It burns on my skin, the truth and Sun I’m facing

Who’s to say I’m meant for maintaining if I came out the box already decaying ?

Who’s to say I’m meant for obeying

Cause when the game don’t go my way?

That’s when I wanna stop playing.

When the game don’t go my way, why is that when I start praying?

Why do I fall into these games of pump faking and portraying?

Knowing damn well I’m a freak but not into role playing

Rather say a word and have them understand what I’m saying

Cause when I get to essaying, they always get to downplaying ,

Everybody else outweighing,

Barely even been here but now I’m overstaying

Once the MVP, somehow now my role, I’m over playing

Taking long looks in the mirror, replaying, expecting for hair to start graying….

-

cheylizean

[mypinkparables]

IDK WHAT 2 TELL U - CHEYLIZEAN

All the hypocrisy

And every time my rule became your democracy

Stuck in your ways I guess this path is how you Got2B

I guess you’re not for me

It’s what you’re not doing

The smell of toxic brewing

If I had a lease on our love I wouldn’t be renewing cause

Youre Lame bitch pursuing

Youre Bad bitch losing

Nigga what are you doing?

Nigga who are you fooling?

Nigga, you’re too confusing

And I’m not assuming

But If you got the money

Nigga why the charge disputing?

If yo mama raised you right then nigga why you looting?

Your God is not approving

Your behavior’s not amusing

You’re substance abusing

This shit too time consuming

I aint got time to be losing

I am degree pursuing

Pretty gang recruiting

Relationship concluding

But with no belly protruding

No stranger reproducing

This karmic won’t be looping

My life is resuming

Youtube views soon booming

I’m not the broken hearted girl, it’s just a little bruising

No rain , no flowers blooming

And I know you watching fuming

Should be shadow self reviewing

Too bad you are refusing

And bad choice choosing

Too bad you’re not improving

The logic’s not computing

The results are not producing

So I will be self removing

Cause I don’t know what to tell you nigga…….

[mypinkparables]

South Central Sweetheart - CHEYLIZEAN

I mention my connection to the streets everywhere I speak

Cause I don’t wanna get my beak confused with belonging to the beach

I know how a reputation can latch on like a leach

But if I dropped the ball, I’d be as free as a dog off its leash

Backs against the wall, not because I’m a freak

That’s just the best position to listen to life teach

I don’t mean to get repetitive

And make y’all the choir to which I preach

This is just how I make my dreams come true when I’m not asleep

To the moon I shoot and for the stars we all reach

To God I pray there are others who share in my beliefs

When I walk into a room, I represent where you might confuse the smog with the gloom

Because nobody chooses to lift the carpet to check on what was swept up by the broom

Nobody believes in themselves if they are told from the jump that they are doomed

The same way no one wants to dance if the music is not to their tune

Some words cut deep, I want mine to heal wounds

I want to be the kind of media audiences should consume

I want to be the reason somebody’s confidence balloons

So when I plant each foot in a room

I think of each footstep as a seedling in transit to bloom

I rise up for a chance birthed in moons that are blue

I stand up for them because if not me, then who?

#south central #los angeles #los angeles poetry #southLA #cheylizean #cheylizeanarchives #black poems #poetry #black authors #black writers #black female speaker #black stories

[mypinkparables]

CHEYLIZEAN UNRELEASED #1

As your eyes adjust to the darkness

In a world where my love is heartless

Where pain only enhances the sharpness

And no pleasure only bricks up the hardness

Watching you swing without my harness

To me, your risk of injury is harmless

Cause I never even wanted to start shit

But sometimes holding on hurts worse than letting the rope slip

And there’s no bowing out gracefully to those who expect you to quit

So I was just through with it, nothing else to do with it

I’m not afraid to wear a shoe

If I do fit it

But if the size don’t fit

Then your lies won’t fit

Then it becomes less easy to admit

That our time just went

I stopped finding reason to defend the nights you were violent

That’s why you have trouble looking me in the eye and shit

But I’m fine with it

Even though I gave my last dimes for all the time I spent

I don’t gotta hide from shit

It’s obvious when a creature is colorful it doesn’t need to hide from shit

To survive for shit

Cause a stand out with no hand out is never provided shit

I’m shocked I let my pretty mouth sail in tides like this

Now I spit out the manure and remind myself what I was chewing shit for

For every night I told God I did not want to do this anymore

I had to learn detachment so I could close all those doors

It lead me down the right path too

That’s why I saw all those 4’s

If you don’t do it for yourself, what are you doing it for?

#poetry #portrait #self love #self motivation #women writers #blackpoetsmatter #black poems #cheylizean #cheylizeanarchives #author #black authors #black female speaker