#don't look at me i'm doing a deep clean of my drafts and inbox i do not wish to be perceived rn

[swanqiu]

hi ess, i can’t help it but i always feel suckish whenever i come back after a hiatus :/ like all the friends i had here before are part of new groups now or there’s a feeling where i’ve sorta been replaced and i don’t really have the interactions levels i had before. it just feels awful but isk i notice that you always seem to have a decent amount of people who still interact with you whenever you end a hiatus. how do you do it?? what are your tips for not feeling this gross sucky feeling?

lmao i’m so sorry this has been sitting in my inbox since august OF LAST YEAR and i’ve vaguely answered it here and there over the last few months with the intention of maybe one day giving you a real, proper answer but like

i genuinely don’t think i could sum it up any better than the last few tags from this post

alt text* + a longer, more in-depth answer below the cut!

building genuine connections and friendships with your mutuals is gonna mean so much more than only caring about them for their writing/muses if a sustainable friendship is what you’re looking for?? being able to have ic/dash/writing/rp interactions that vibe well and can pick up again after long periods of time is just a byproduct of being friends ooc, tbh. 

but i mean... elaborating on that and to more specifically answer your second question, i would also say to set boundaries (if you haven’t already!!) or even healthier boundaries between yourself and being online, or between yourself and the people you write with. like if you’re feeling these feelings you describe of being replaced or, god FORBID, being jealous that people you thought were your friends are now... getting along better with other people or are doing what’s best for themselves and building spaces where they can be more comfortable.......... maybe you should reevaluate whether being in indie rp/writing space (which is very fluid and always subject to tons of new relationships or drifting-aparts) is the best space for you and your emotional/mental wellbeing.

tying it all together: when you view your mutuals only as transaction machines who are there to just write with you or talk about your muse(s)/plot(s) with you and you’re quantifying your relationships with your “friends” based on in-character things? especially if you’ve been the one gone for a while on hiatus and expect people to still want to connect with you (for ic things) on the same level when you return?? i’d very kindly ask you to reevaluate how you view and cultivate your rp space and expectations for it bc. that does not sound healthy NOR does it sound like a good time for anyone. in my very honest, very straightforward opinion.

also, if you’ve been on hiatus and not keeping in touch with anyone while you’ve been away, it’s normal for people to drift apart or lose connection for a little bit. how much are you willing to invest into rebuilding and re-sparking that friendship? if you haven’t even tried reaching out to people yet and are jumping to conclusions about being replaced (which, to an extent, could be valid), then i think you’re underestimating the effect even a “hi hello i missed being on here and missed you!” can do to kickstart that reconnecting process.

anyway i really hope this message somehow finds its way to you, anon, or that my two cents is of use to someone else who’s lurking but like. yeah. sending this out into the void and hoping it does what it needs to do!! message me off anon any time or just chat me up if we’re mutuals tbh. my discord is esscapekey#3726

anyway i really hope all of this isn’t just me blowing smoke up my own ass or sounding like i’m the know-it-all/fix-it-all go-to for this topic specifically bc i really am not but. best believe if u approach me and sincerely ask me for advice then yeah sure absolutely you bet i will do that to the best of my ability.

*photo text:

@anon asking how to retain a community after being away or on hiatus for so long— this is how!!

develop genuine ooc friends with ur mutuals!!! care abt their interests off the dash and outside of their muses!!!

tbh if you only care about their muses it is not a sustainable friendship or writing relationship at all!!!! imho!!!!!

anyway sorry i was going through my inbox and saw an ask from *checks notes* a million years ago (*lmao once again.......... i am so sorry)

#don't look at me i'm doing a deep clean of my drafts and inbox i do not wish to be perceived rn #lol oops this went on a lot longer than i though it would but. hope this helps. all the best! #i also did not think i was the most qualified to give an answer to this bc uhhhhhhhhhh impostor syndrome i guess but like #i really do sit here on the dash sometimes or on disc mainly nowadays and it's just like. WHAM i really have..... so many people to love on #and they love on me BACK god what a time to be me so i guess ur right #love really is stored in the *checks smudged writing on hand* mutuals blasting me with shitposts at 2am <3 #( OOC. ) — this is an ESS OH ESS.

[roscgcld]

Im feeling Angsty tonight so I'mma drag you with me :D

TW: Abusive Ex, argument, gaslighting (?), angst shit, don't worry fluff(?) at the end ;) (Every relationship has to go through the pain of argument, it's a common thing and for me it's somewhat a sign that you two really love and care each other)

Imagine having an argument with Nanami, it started small but it became heated to the point where he accidentally yells at you and threw a glass at the floor shattering into pieces.

You let out a yelp and flinches while you cover your head with your arms as your tears are threatening to flow like a river. You we're slowly getting used to the warm feeling of having a significant other not the feeling of pain and guilt like your ex put you through, Nanami knew about your past, you opened up to him when you were starting to feel more comfortable with your relationship with him.

He came home stress, stressful than the other day, you wished you had discussed this in another time but you can't help it.

The realization hit him like a truck when he heard a faint 'Im sorry, I'll do anything just please don't hurt me again' leave your lips. He didn't mean to scare you, he didn't mean to bring those memories back, he was overall stressed with the curses that suddenly appeared, paperwork's and Gojo's stupid antics that he let out his frustration to you.

"Y/N..." He's voice came out soft, almost a whisper telling you to look, you couldn't as tears started to fall down your cheeks. He hated seeing you cry, especially if it was his fault. Guilt was so overwhelming it hurts his chest.

"I-im sorry Kento... It's my fault..." turning around not facing him as you choked on your words trying to sound like your laughing it off, but you knew better, no matter how hard you try to hide the pain, he will always see through your eyes.

"I-I shouldn't have talked to you about this right now, I knew you we're stressed out but somehow I d-did. It's not your fault-" you jolted feeling a pair of arms wrapping your body making you stop your sentence.

"I'm sorry Y/N, I shouldn't have yelled at you, I shouldn't have threw the glass, I shouldn't have taken out my frustration on you. I know a simple apology won't fix the fact I brought those memories back but I'll do anything just so you can forgive me"

You couldn't help but let out a small quiet sob as he let you turn around to hug you properly, minutes later you pulled away calming down the storm inside you.

"Want me to ready the bath for you?"

"will you join me?"

"are you sure?" He was hesitant to but seeing you nod makes him feel a lot less awkward.

The bath was quiet, but there was something comfortable with the silence. Maybe the fact that you just cried letting your emotions flow, or you felt comfortable and safe with Kento. You two didn't have to say anything, you two knew that you want to do. He knows you too well it's somewhat scary. Will he take advantage of it? Will he use it against me?

Those words always floats around your head making you feel so anxious but you knew Kento too. You knew he would never take advantage of you, you knew he would never hurt you because he would rather face the world than hurt you.

After the bath session, you both lay down to bed, both facing the wall. You couldn't help but want to have a glimpse of your boyfriend Beside you only to see his face facing you staring deep down to your e/c eyes.

"I'm sorry" you apologized.

"I should be saying that, not you" he protested as you shook your head. You reached out your hand making your way to his hair. He always love when you run through your fingers to his hair, it relaxes him as soon as you touch his hair, it also helps him fall asleep.

You can't help but kiss his forehead, it's a small thing but to him it's a big thing, "We can fix things, right?" You asked while Nanami gave you a genuine smile as he place his hand over your cheek.

"Of course love"

You nuzzle to his chest making you hear his heartbeat beating.

"Kento"

"hmm?"

"I love you"

"I love you more dear"

And so, everyday he never fails to give you different types of flowers, it was his way of saying sorry, you knew giving you a gift was his love language so you accepted it. Some of your favorite flower he bought, you kept it forever by drying and labeling them as you put it somewhere safe.

He found your dried flowers by accident when he was looking for something in the drawers. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of you keeping the flowers he brought.

HOLY SHIT IM BRAIN STORMING TODAY WOOOO!!! omg my heart broke when I wrote this but it makes me Happy if someone cried XDDD I'm actually going to start a jjk blog soon but idk how you do the "keep reading" thing you see when you read some post. I'm like starting to make the rules and shit.

WHY ISNT HE REAL ITS SO ILLEGAL!!! I have like 3 fanfic draft for Nanami in wattpad but I'm still writing an aot fic and I haven't updated it TT

I am more than happy if you want more Nanami or daydream!reader content! I stalk your account often since you makes me happy a lot :D (GOD I'VE COME CLEAN MY SINS)

Have a good day/evening!

- ☕

....it is too early for this-

NO - I mean yes because Nanami is sweet, BUT NO! NO! NOOOOO!

This was so sad at first before it became somewhat sweet at the end?

AND YES WHY IS HE NOT REAL? NANAMI NEEDS TO BE REAL T^T MY NEEDY ASS NEEDS A MAN LIKE THIS. And did I see that you're about to start a blog yourself 👀👀 gimme your url later lmaooo. I am not sure on mobile, but on computer when you enter in your drafts there is this tiny grey box with dotted lines inside? That's the 'read more' tab. Idk on mobile tho

i would always accept more daydreaming!reader and nanami content, my inbox is always open for you love! sending kithes!~

#roscgcld asks #☕.nonnie #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #nanami kento #kento nanami #nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #kento nanami x reader #nanami x you #kento nanami x you #nanami kento x you #nanami supremacy #jjk nanami kento