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thevioletcaptain · 7 years

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12.13 Family Feud

THE VERDICT

Ain’t nepotism a hoot?

A play-by-play recap with meta-adjacent notes is under the cut!

ALL THE THINGS

Oh, hon. Never wear a nightgown on Supernatural unless you want to die bloody

YIKES THAT’S NIGHTMARE INDUCING

SPN should really trademark those ridiculous blood splatters at this point

Props to P.J. Pesce for creating such an unsettling atmosphere in this cold open that I braced for the scare too early (twice) when I should have known better

Cas mention! \o/

I like that—as usual—Dean elected to call Cas and talk to him alone. He always likes to take his Cas calls privately, while if Sam’s the one making a call he generally chills in the same room, often on speaker.

Anyway I’m gonna go ahead and headcanon that the whole time Dean’s fiddling with his cellphone after he hangs up and starts talking to Sam, he’s sending Cas a dumb flirty text message. Feel free to join me on this train because even if it’s only a headcanon it’s still probably the most interesting thing to happen in this episode.

“His tongue was ripped out.” “Well, that didn’t kill him.”

???? why would “well, that didn’t kill him” be the initial assumption Dean makes??? that could absolutely kill someone???

*squeezes bridge of nose* I’m gonna move on

HOT DAMN

*fans self* apparently I’m very into ass-kicking Mary

“Nice toy.” Man, the BMoL might be shady af, but they do have some damn cool gear

…keep it in your pants, Ketch

“Pay per view, magic fingers. The us’.”

The “Dean takes after his mom” anvils keep on coming.

(Also, how in the frickety frack am I supposed to spell that abbreviation??? Evidently I’ve never written it down before.)

Mary says “I love you” AGAIN and Dean still doesn’t say it back (judging by the look on her face, anyway)

I’m sensing a pattern here…

(Will Dean eventually use the L word this season???? Look, I don’t wanna get my hopes up, but I had to mention it here just in case he does so I can point at this post and say HAH I CALLED IT :P)

I’d still really like to know what the original plan had been for Toni, because she and Ketch obviously had some kind of bad history. She was afraid of him. And now she and the kid I’d originally hoped was a nephilim have dropped off the grid completely. I had SUCH HOPES for Toni. Oh well. I should finish writing that fic.

I like how this scene with Crowley and Lucifer has been shot

Ugh, though. I’d hoped we were done with the overpriced bottled water.

~time for a flashback~

At least this super clunky exposition will make people stop asking “BUT WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE NICK?”

That said… Crowley has just had Nick’s corpse in cold storage for a few years? Really? That’s gross, Crowley. No wonder Dean dumped you.

It took me a moment to realize that the red light in this restroom was just an actual red-tinted light, and not some bizarre ~SPOOKY GHOST LIGHT~ that got thrown in for no reason

“They’re always filled with ADHD spirits and their tethers, y’know.”

so. damn. clunky.

Yikes, random waitress. Oh hey I didn’t catch her glowy angel eyes on my first watch. That makes her pointed “little devil” comment slightly less on the nose.

Dean geeking out over old weapons & cool history stuff = always good

Also I’m 100% here for Dean remembering the ship, but why the heck doesn’t Sam also remember it as he’s reading the information?

Oh, Crowley. You’re out of the loop, bud.

Crowley: mentions lucifer’s lovechild while phone is on speaker

Sam: O_O’ >_>’ O_O’ <_<‘ -_-‘

[briefly interrupts episode to mention that some damn fool kids are playing with an airhorn outside my house wtf kids go home *shakes broom in their general direction*]

The “oh my dad” joke was funny the first time I read it in a fic like six years ago

Why are they meeting Rowena in the museum?

Sam pls don’t smirk at Rowena like that, this is not a ship I can get behind :P

(He’d be Crowley’s new stepdad. Gavin’s grandpa. Also, because of Dean and Crowley’s whole summer-of-love, he’d also kinda be Dean’s ex-stepfather-in-law. It’s too much :P)

Uh oh, Kelly Clarkson

(That’s what I go to call her instinctively every time so y’know what I’m just gonna go with it)

Okay, I like Dagon.

But how was it that easy for her to kill angels? Could Ramiel have just done that? Ughhhhh

Anyway I’m glad she’s sticking around for more than one episode

I hope she doesn’t eventually die, but I’m not holding out much hope :P

So we went from “hey Rowena do a tracking spell” to “Gavin is getting off this bus now”???

Godddd none of these scenes connect properly this is exhausting

How much time has passed? How long have they been on this case?

“Help? HELP!” pfffft

Rowena being psyched that Gavin had a girlfriend was the cutest shit I’ve ever seen lmao

FLASHBACK #2

“My Fiona’s a ghost?!” Dude, your gran is a witch and your dad is the King of Hell. Ghost girlfriend should barely even register at this point :P

Oh wow that’s some pretty snow

Ketch: The Men of Letters is my family My brain:

I’d completely forgotten about that video until right now

Anyway. Back to Mary, who’s being pretty vocal about putting her family first for someone who risked all their lives last episode. Ketch’s little speech seems to have backfired and caused her to think about that, so that’s good.

Also: keep it in your pants Ketch. Christ.

What on earth is this school? Are these two women the only teachers? The only staff?

Why must Buckleming introduce a thousand different single serving characters in every episode.

YIKES THO again with the quality SFX

Loved that shot of Fiona’s hand punching through the teacher’s chest

AWKWARD CROSSFADE AFTER AN UNKNOWN PASSAGE OF TIME

how did Fiona suddenly stop looking like a half-rotted underwater corpse? What kind of ghost ability is that?

…and there’s the traditional Buckleming rape reference. At least we didn’t have to watch this one on screen, I guess. Small blessings.

Another random time jump into the middle of another conversation. For crying out loud.

But hey they’re sending Gavin back, so it’s nice to see them filling a plot hole for once.

I am IN LOVE with Rowena’s sparkly blazer wow

How often have Crowley and Gavin been catching up tho

…did they have a catch?

Crowley is so much more upset about this than I would have expected. You know what would have helped with that? If they’d spent more than thirty seconds talking to each other in this episode.

Sam and Dean have a whole jar of angel feathers and now I’m just imagining them like “uh… hey Cas? We’re running a little low, you think you could—“ and Cas just rolling his eyes before poofing a few out of the ether.

I feel bad for Gavin being sent off to his death but also, like… not a lot. This ~emotional scene~ wasn’t earned.

“Beam him up, Scotty.”

*jots this down into her Dean-is-a-Kirk-fan notebook*

Dean’s reaction to seeing Gavin and Fiona reunited before they disappeared…

The camera was SUPER focused on his face there

He looked so wistful and then so sad. So personally affected by these doomed lovers.

Why must Jensen’s face attack me like this.

So I guess now we know that the case took forever, based on Dean’s “long, long, long, long while” rambling :P

“He’s dramatic, as usual.”

Dean is a drama queen: confirmed

…did Sam just say “yummy”

I’m so glad Mary told them!

“Do not give me the face.” “What face?” “You know the face.” “There’s no face.” “That’s the face.” *Dean gives the face harder*

I’m extra glad Sam reminded her pointedly that thEY FUCKING TORTURED HIM

Sam and Dean are NOT IMPRESSED with Mary pulling the “family” card right now

I’m glad it looks like this conversation is continued next week

Rowena has a lil red thermos??? Why is she so cute?

ANOTHER FLASHBACK

SO MANY FLASHBACKS

Mm Rowena, get ur revenge girl

And now a montage set to the Stones. With sad Crowley and Stresschesters and cool Dagon and annoying bottled water.

Thank fuck that’s over.

ALL THE OTHER THINGS

Passed Bechdel-Wallace

Parts were saved by acting and direction, but there’s only so much to be done with an episode like this. Sam & Dean hunting a ghost. Mary working with Ketch. Crowley taunting Lucifer. Dagon rescuing Kelly from the angels. Gavin and Fiona backstory. THIS IS TOO MANY THREADS. TOO MANY DRAWN OUT SCENES WHERE NOTHING HAPPENED. PLEASE GO BACK TO SCREENWRITING 101 AND LEARN TO MANAGE YOUR DAMN SUBPLOTS FFS. AND CHILL OUT WITH THE EXPOSITION IN DIALOGUE.

MY SCREENWRITING TEACHERS WOULD HAVE FAILED YOU WHY ARE YOU EMPLOYED

[whispers] you know why

Anyway. While it was dull as dry toast and had a completely unnecessary throwaway line about a woman being violated, it wasn’t even in the ballpark of their worst episode. Small blessings.

That said, that’s probably because practically nothing happened—aside from Dagon’s introduction. I’m looking forward to seeing more of her.

I was just… so very bored.

Next week looks great. Let’s forget this pointless snoozefest ever happened.

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