Tumgik
#for me again i gotta reread things SO many times or pause and collect my thoughts
martyrbat · 9 months
Text
i always get kinda embarrassed or sad about how fucking slow i am when reading something due to memory loss/having to read something again and again to actually process it because of my disabilities/my adhd and wavering attention span but like... i gotta kill the elementary school reading award pressure in my head.... reading isnt something restricted by time. its not a race to finish 50 books in two months. if i read a hundred pages in a day or if i cant even get through one, its okay, because theres always tomorrow or the day after. there's no time restraint or pressure to enjoy art in my own time in a way i actually can and shame is just gonna make my actual enjoyment of the book be tainted or my ability to actually read and retain information get worse.
14 notes · View notes
maraudersftw · 3 years
Note
This is weird. My dialogue is awful. I've been writing for over eight years now. I've barely improved. I feel demoralised every time I reread something of mine because it's just plain terrible. Like, there's no way anyone is actually ever going to say that. Let alone two super witty people, you just know would be great at bantering / flirting. I've asked people to beta, they're just too nice to actually tell me the very apparent issue with my dialogue. I'm not exaggerating. What should I do?
Hey, anon! First of all, I'm honoured that you thought of reaching out to me for this question even though I'm definitely still learning a lot of things about writing and what feels right to me myself. But I understand where you're coming from, and I'll do my best to help you out in whatever way I can. If any of my lovely writer mutuals have more to add, please feel free to do so!
1. Before I even start talking about anything else, it's important to remember that we're our own toughest critic, so it's possible (and quite likely) that your dialogues are not nearly as terrible as you think they are. When you've been writing and staring at the same words you've written multiple times, even the most interesting of dialogues can feel lame and try-hard to you. Whenever I write a fic and proofread through it before posting, 9/10 times I feel like it sounds boring or too dragged out. And it's because I already know what's going to happen, what the other person is going to say. Even if something is meant to be witty, I no longer find it to be so because I've written them. Return to your fics a year from now and you may feel differently.
2. Your betas are there to help you. I know it's difficult to broach that awkward boundary where you want them to be brutally honest about your writing vs wanting strangers on the internet to shower you with validation, but if you really, genuinely, want to improve your writing and make the maximum use of your betas, try talking to them about it. From what you've told me, they seem like very nice people, and if you tell them that they should just be as critical with your writing as they are with theirs, I think they'd understand. If they find that uncomfortable, that's fair. You can always ask someone else. I find that having different betas for different fics is always a good idea because you get to see how differing perspectives work.
3. Ask your betas to leave you comments when they're editing. It's easier to just pass on the doc and have them fix your typos and grammatical errors, but ask them how you can improve the dialogue and pacing as well! Tell them to leave some tips for you as they go over your work. This way, it doesn't have to be an one-on-one conversation (so neither of you feel awkward), and you can just return to the doc later and go through the suggestions slowly and imbibe them into your future works.
4. This might sound very simple, but it's important to remember when you're writing fic that these characters are normal humans who talk and behave like normal humans do. Sometimes, the whole flirting/bantering feel of the conversation just comes through from their actions and not their words. For eg. instead of writing something like:
"Hey, Potter! Are you free this weekend?" asked Lily.
"Why? Wanna take me on a date, Evans?" He smirked.
"Maybe I do."
You bring the scene to life through the same words, but more actions. Like so:
"Hey, Potter!" Lily called, her fingers tentative as they fell on his arm. James turned around, one eyebrow cocked. "Are you free this weekend?"
He looked at her silently, a smirk pulling at his lips. "Why? Wanna take me on a date, Evans?"
Lily's eyes glittered with the thrill of a challenge, and she pressed a little closer. "Maybe I do."
5. Make sure that you let your characters talk and breathe like normal humans, too! Let them take those heavy pauses for tense scenes, let them break off in between sentences because they can't finish a thought right or they're laughing too hard or they've just suddenly remembered something that froze them on the spot. Let them fumble and sigh and repeat words like we do IRL conversations. If your character is having an argument, and they're red in the face, they're probably not gonna say: "Why not?"
They're much more likely to say: "Well, why the hell not?!"
You can throw in a couple of "um"s and "uh"s and "er"s for those unsure few milliseconds. Em dashes are your best friends here. Sometimes, even saying that they're pausing to think or breathe or collect themselves can help bring your dialogues to life.
But yeah, don't overdo them either coz then the flow might break lol
6. Read! Read! Read! As writers, we sometimes forget to really read other stories or appreciate different characterizations and writing styles, which can make your writing growth halt. Not saying this is true for everyone, but reading more definitely doesn't do harm. And especially for us fanfic writers, this works even better, because we're writing about the same characters again and again. If you read another writer's take on it, you'll slowly start to hold onto the pattern of how a certain character speaks, or what they're likely to do. This is extremely useful when writing a dialogue. For instance, I know how headstrong and stubborn Lily is, I've read so many takes on this trait of hers. So when I write my dialogues, I know I can't have her backing down easily. She will go red in the face, she will yell, she will be in denial, and say harsh things she probably doesn't mean entirely when she's mad. But at the same time, I also know she's unflinchingly kind, so you know you have to write that she speaks in soft tones when comforting someone. She probably smiles really kindly, tucks her hair behind her ear when she's shy, confesses things with a lot of bravery, watches James from the sidelines with the softest expression (sorry, got lost in the feels for a sec)
Similarly, you've gotta make James be the loudest one in the room, the one who's voice carries over to everyone, who's absolutely unabashed in his dialogues and whose confidence shines through his words. But the same boy then turns unsure and tentative in moments where his heart is on the line. I always write his dialogues as super vulnerable during such scenes (much more than Lily's would be). A lot of desperation, pleases, promises, etc. etc.
I know this got really long, and I'm not sure if any of it was at all helpful. If you're looking for something specific, please do send in another ask! I don't mind helping out!
65 notes · View notes
Text
Which of your fics…
i was tagged by @praetorqueenreyna! thank you!! 💛
Did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got: hmm maybe banished? but it’s a definitely a more niche and darker sort of maiko/mai-centric ficlet, so i probably shouldn’t have had such high hopes 😂
Is your funniest: uhhhhh almost a tie but probably see you again! it’s the first (and probably will be the only) modern atla fic i’ve ever written, and i had a lot of fun developing platonic zutara and the kataang meet-cute with plenty of comedic beats. i mean,, it’s funny to me at least 😂 i still laugh at the mental image of aang sprinting towards zuko and zuko having to drop everything to catch him, what can i say?
Is your darkest/angstiest: probably banished (for now 👀). i mean,, it’s automatically impossible to write a “mai learns zuko was banished” fic without angst, and i kinda pushed to see just how far that wound might cut her, wink wink nudge nudge if you’ve read the fic (i swear i love mai y’all 😂 i don’t know why i make her suffer so 🤧)
Is your absolute favorite: yes i’ve talked about them a hundred times,, yes i will do it again!! There’s a Fine, Fine Line (my Flash Thompson introspection) and all i know is gone (but i am not alone) (my aang-centric fic revolving around his grief as seen through his friends’ eyes) were fics i put my entire soul into and the fandom reception was wonderful,, i wouldn’t be who i am today if i hadn’t written those stories!
Is your least favorite: hahahahahaha anything from middle school,, bye (none of which is on my ao3 thank goodness)
Was the easiest to write: honestly?? probably keep the paper lantern lit (my zutaraang week 2020 collection of oneshots) because i’d been DYING to write some zutaraang and every prompt sparked an idea right away except for like one which i still eventually figured out. aang having two hands for zuko and katara OWNS me (as it should)
Was the hardest to write: oh my god Sigh No More (my maiko much ado au) was SO hard to write,, adjusting the language while still keeping the rhythm of Shakespeare’s lines was the most difficult thing i’ve ever tried to do 🤦 fanfic truly is a labor of love 😂
Has your favorite line/exchange/paragraph (share it): bruh,, my memory is not that good,, i forget everything i write once i post it. uhhhhh,, okay. this is one of my favorite snippets i’ve written from a recent fic, because i feel wrong calling it my Favorite when there’s probably other things i’m just as proud of but can’t recall lmao:
And then he was kissing Mai, his hand resting at the curve of her neck atop her collarbone as he pressed her back against the trunk of the tree. She wrapped her arms around his waist in response, pulling him into her body to deepen the kiss before one of her hands rose up to entangle itself in his hair. Zuko regretted nothing more than when he had to pull away to breathe.
“Don’t think this means you’re off the hook,” Mai whispered, her chest rising and falling with a rapid speed that told Zuko she’d enjoyed the moment as much as he had. She touched their foreheads together. “Just because we’re on kissing terms again doesn’t mean my expectations have lowered.”
Zuko was simply grateful she was willing to give him another chance. He pressed a gentle kiss to her jaw. “Ask me to do anything for you.”
There was a long pause. The air seemed to grow heavier in the silence.
“Kill my parents.”
(from Sigh No More, my maiko much ado au)
shakespeare aus just hit different, what can i say?
Have you re-read the most: mmmmm i guess There’s a Fine, Fine Line? i like rereading those comments bc they’re all the sweetest so sometimes i reread the fic too bc im there lmao (generally speaking i don’t reread my fics once they’re posted 😂)
Would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time: probably meeting mai! it’s just a soft little ficlet of the gaang all welcoming mai into their friend group like she deserves 💛
Are you most proud of: i mean,, it’s gotta be No Ordinary Exchange (my rayllum college!au). it’s the longest fic i’ve ever completed (it’ll be around 175k when fully posted!!) and honestly i just had so much FUN writing it. i was able to write pretty much every scene i’d ever dreamed of for rayllum in a college!au, of course, but i also ended up diving into subjects i never thought i’d approach, like soren’s relationship with viren and even introducing a few OCs. it was a massive undertaking, lmao; i wrote it over the course of 8 months and a lot of it was completed in early quarantine and my last summer before college. so it’ll always hold a special place in my heart for helping keep me motivated and happy even after so many things i’d been looking forward to senior year were cancelled, yk?
tagging: @drowning-in-cacophony, @ambivalentmarvel, @korvidaee, @penguinsledder, and @itsmoonpeaches if any of you are interested! no pressure 💛
8 notes · View notes
fcntasmas-archive · 3 years
Note
(1)alright alright alright I decided to reread the first 5 chapters before reading the last one, because I make good life choices xD and like, all of it is even better the second time around?! but also oh man I cannot believe it took me until like halfway into rereading chapter one before I realized that it is a fucking pebble that eddie is always touching in his pocket and what was in the bag and why he was talking about the glove compartment, isn't it? can't believe I didn't realize sooner xDD
(2)here we goooo “I’m asking you to choose me, Buck.” I am already tearing up, this time I do have tissues ready tho xD "and it’s like — math, you know?” goooood I love this man so much <3 AND ONCE AGAIN I have to reiterate that christopher diaz is the best kid in the whole world and I love him so much, holy shit <3 can't believe I am sobbing over pebbles of all things but here we are xD (tbf I kinda collect pebbles and I would absolutely lose my mind if my crush would gift me one xDDD)
(3)a perfect pebble, oh man, hold on, I'm gonna need a minute here, this took me out! they're so soft and happy, oh man I wanna live in this feeling actually! 'it’s them starting and stopping because it’s overwhelming suddenly, realizing that they’re doing this, and they’re doing it together' <33333 'doesn’t compare at all to the way they whisper I love you to each other between breaths, spoken into their skin, like they’ll somehow tattoo them on every place they manage to reach, like they’re
(4)promising each other forever and a day.' asdfdlasdkjfala <33333 “I love Chris, and I know he loves me, but I know for a fact all he’s ever wanted is for you to be happy. And—” he smiles softly. “The fact that he thought the answer was me?” oh man, not htis is fine, I am totally fine, I am totally not this close to bursting with happy feelings! xDDDD “Oh? What else did he say?” yeeees buck, go for the insider info xD “Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll build a house made of lake-pebbles with this
(5)person.” amazing <3 “It’s my only request!” aasdfghgjkl xDDDDDD "It’s this tradition that — the matriarchs of the family pass the recipe down to — any new addition to the family.” He pauses. “Uh. Usually wives, or husbands.” OH YEAH xD <3 oh man I love hen and chim but also asdaflkdhfadh oh no xDD oooooh eddie, power move xDDDD “Oh,” Hen nods, the first to break it. “Yeah, that makes sense.” INDEED IT DOES xD oooh eddie ._. <33 'Buck makes a face, but it’s nothing compared to the face Albert
(6)makes, which – huh. He should examine that further later.' asdjfaldljkfh? 👀 “I’ve always wanted that kind of love for you,” she admits. “The kind I found with Howie. I’m so — so happy for you, Buck.” of course you gotta make me me cry again before the story is over, oh no, buckley siblings are my soft spot!! <3 OH NO a wedding??? a best man's speech by chris?? you want me to end this story sobbing, huh?
(7)“They have taught me love doesn’t always have to be loud. It can be quiet and thoughtful and intimate and sweet. They’ve definitely set the bar pretty high — and I’m thankful for that. I am. I’m thankful for them both." ooooooh I love this so much <3 “Just small act after small act that ripples all the way down.” OH MY GOD THAT LINE IS SO GOOD, god I love how you ended this story, definitely lived up to my expectations, def gonna reread when it isn't the middle of the night for me xDDD <333
(8)Oh man, okay, I just wanted to end this on a big THANK YOU for writing this story and for sharing it with us and I hope you know how amazing it is and how amazing your writing is and how you absolutely deserve all the love you’ve been getting for it <3
GOSH you always manage to blow me away with these i'm just so happy you found it enjoyable and that you liked so many of those small details because they were also some of my favorite moments in here!!!
thank you so so much again for always sending these as you read honestly again it means the world to me that you ever wanted to take the time to and that is just??? like, more than enough for me. thank you thank you thank you <333
ily to the moon and back!!!!
1 note · View note
Text
Twins of Sun and Snow
(Or, how the Snow Queen came to be.)
i.
Once upon, there was a kingdom.
It was ruled by a gentle and loving king and his delicate queen. She once made a wish on a winter’s day for a child with dark hair and pale skin. Soon, her wish came true: she gave birth to a daughter with dark hair and pale skin. But this was too much for her health and soon after, she died.
The king and the kingdom mourned. His daughter, motherless, grew up a vain and selfish child, spoiled by his wish to let her know she was loved. When she was ten, the king held a ball. This was where he met his next wife: the orphaned daughter of a merchant, who was only at the ball to support her stepsisters.
They fell in love and soon married. The kingdom rejoiced, for Queen Ella was a beautiful and wonderful woman. The only person unhappy was Snow White.
For the following four years, she grew worse and worse in behavior. Finally, things came to a head.
The two had gone out on a picnic, where Ella told Snow White that she was pregnant. The princess, enraged, ran and disappeared into the woods.
The kingdom searched for weeks, the only people actually worried about Snow being the king and queen. Finally, they gave up.
Ella gave birth to a pair of twins: the first one inheriting her father’s dark hair while the second gained platinum blonde curls.
The kingdom turned its eyes to the future, ready to be lead by these twins…
ii.
It was spring, signaling by the singing of the birds in their cages. They provided the background noise to the girl sitting at the desk. The burnt-out stubs of candles, sitting in colorful jars, sat next to pens and pencils and papers. A pair of white gloves were in danger of being stained with ink. This was not noticed by the girl, hair in a bun and concentrating on the paper.
Finally, the girl leaned back and considered her essay. A sudden grin split her face and she wrote a few more sentences. She let out a triumphant “Done!” Letting the ink on the paper dry, Princess Clarissa collected her speech for the day and some more papers. She hurried through her room, only stopping to grab her gloves.
She hurried through the halls, passing a maid. The maid smiled brightly, calling out to the royal and making her stop. “Morning your Highness! Where are you off to today?”
“A lot of places, Zita.” Clarissa shuffled the papers in her hands. “I got my speech for today, I have some new poems for the monastery…” Some papers fell out. She quickly caught them.
“Busy day?” She received a sheepish nod in answer. “Huh. Make sure to check in with Cook.”
Clarissa nodded, hurrying down the hallway. She found the doorway, letting out a groan at the sight of all the steps. Adjusting the papers in her arms, she started up the stairs. There was really no excuse for why Rapunzel slept in the highest tower, besides the fact that she loved heights.
Finally, she reached the top of the stairs. She opened the door to enter her twin’s room. “Punzel!”
Unlike her huge nest of books and papers and signs of late-night writing binges, Rapunzel kept her room neat. All her art supplies were kept in cabinets, her bed slept in and made. The hair arranged around the room suggested she was probably painting the high up walls.
“Rapunzel!”
No answer.
Setting her papers down, Clarissa pulled off a glove. She carefully grabbed some hair and focused on the magic running through it. She then sent a wave of cold, being awarded a shriek from high above. She giggled.
“Not funny!”
“Kinda is!” She called up, replacing her glove.
Rapunzel slid down the hair, hovering to be eye to eye with Clarissa. Like her twin, she had aqua eyes and dusky skin. “You try painting in peace and having what is the equivalent of an ice cube down your dress.”
“Sorry, but we’re going into town today, remember?”
The younger let out a squeal, standing on the floor. She tugged her hair down to offer it to her twin. “Of course! Braid my hair?”
“Sure.”
After collecting their lunches from Cook, the two were soon heading out of the castle and into town. Rapunzel greeted the townsfolk by name as Clarissa went over her speech for the afternoon. A familiar building came into view, a sign labeled BOOKS on it. The smell of tea met them as they entered.
“Morning Jack,” Clarissa said to the dark-haired boy. The instant he saw the fourteen-year-old princess, the sixteen-year-old grinned.
“Clarissa! Do you have everything ready?”
“Yep! When is Xan returning? I have some stuff needed to be delivered to the monks.”
The older boy hummed. A girl, golden hair pulled back, peeked out of the backroom. “He left to deliver a shipment to the school with Egon. He should be back-”
“Hello, my darlings!”
“Now,” Goldie said with a snap of her fingers. She turned back to whatever she was doing, Rapunzel quick to join her.
“Hello princess!” The Asian man said, hugging the princess. Egon, a tall muscle of a man and a tailor, squeezed after him. He gave the blonde a quick wave.
“Hey, you guys. Xan, there are some things I need to be delivered.” Clarissa pulled out the papers and handed them to him. “The poems for the monks, that collection of stories for Gallenway, the essay for race equality for Trinton and the essay for anti-slavery for the entire kingdom.”
Egon nodded to the papers she kept. “Is that your speech for today?”
She nodded, taking a glance outside. “And it seems the crowds are forming.” Truth to her word, surrounding the stage built for speeches, a crowd had started to form outside. She couldn’t help but pull off a glove, letting frost form on the window.
“Almost time.”
“Well, you’re going to knock their socks off.” Jack gently grabbed her hair to pull out her bun. Her platinum blonde curls fell in gentle waves, framing her face. “There we go. You gotta remember the busy bun, Clar.”
“Sorry.” Clarissa glanced outside, seeing it was time. She let out a breath, brushed off her blue skirt and took one last glance over her speech. “Time to shine.” She pushed open the door.
The creak of the door silenced the crowd.
iii.
The streets were busy today. Even with the crowds, a dark-skinned man walked easily through the town. He was reading a newspaper article when there was a tap on his shoulder.
He glanced down, meeting eyes with a  young blonde girl. Her hair was pulled back in a braid, dressed in a knee-length blue dress and jacket. Her socks were blue, her flats black. She gave a curtsy. “Pardon me, sir. Are you Emilio Toms?”
“That depends on who’s asking.”
“Princess  Clarissa, sir, at your service.” She gave another quick curtsy. “I have been looking for you.”
“You’re making me nervous.”
“Right, sorry. I was at the college when I heard about you.” They started to walk, the girl trailing after him. “After I got into a fight with a friend of yours. He handles the financials?”
“You punched the  bursar ?”
She stopped before him. There was silence for a long moment. She finally gave him a helpless shrug. “Would you believe me if I told you he deserved it? Anyway, I’ve read your essays and wondered how you got so good.” She gave him a sheepish smile. “I was wondering for my future position as queen.”
He stared at her. “Can I buy you a drink?”
She raised a brow before shrugging.“As long as it isn’t alcoholic, sure.”
Emilio nodded, stopping at a door. “Let me offer you some advice.” They entered the tavern, sitting at a table close to the bar.  Clarissa looked around with wide eyes, snapping to attention when he spoke. “Talk less.”
“What?”
“Smile more.”
-_-
“That was amazing!” Rapunzel said. The twins walked through the town together. The sun was setting and Clarissa’s throat was sore, but her grin was wide. “You could see their thoughts as you spoke.”
“Thanks, sis. C'mon, race you!”
They had to turn down drinks to not be late for dinner with their parents. They wouldn’t be late.
The twins ran all the way to the castle. Many servants congratulated Clarissa as she passed. It was clear that people had spoken about today’s speech. When the twins entered the small dining room, it was to find the usual: Queen Ella setting up the silverware, the table full of food, and King Charming reading letters and such.
“Evening!” The younger chirped as she and her twin sat down.
The king looked up as the queen sat down. “Ah, hello girls. How was the speech today?”
Clarissa, busy loading her plate full of food, paused. Everyone’s eyes were on her. “Um,” she said, setting her plate down. She always got so nervous when her father asked. “I think it went well. ”
“Good!” Ella said with a bright grin.
The family ate, Charming reading as he did. The conversation went on about each other’s days and the latest projects. Clarissa was openly considering an essay supporting immigration rights when her father opened another letter, sipping his wine as he did. He did a spit take when he read it.
Everyone stared at him when he finally silenced.
“Dad?”
“Dear?”
Charming reread the letter. Then again. Then a third time. When he looked up from the paper, he was pale. His eyes were wide and he was shaking. He managed to set his goblet down, then met eyes with Ella.
“This letter…Ella, it’s from Snow.”
The only sound was things falling out of hands.
iv.
“So your sister-”
“Half-sister, technically. Mother was pregnant with us when she disappeared.”
Jack and Clarissa sat in the bar. He leaned against the counter as she sat there, staring straight ahead. When the news had been announced, the castle had been thrown into chaos. The servants were preparing Snow White’s room and the cooks were preparing a feast for her arrival. The town was whispering gossip, which would spread to the rest of the kingdom.
Jack took a breath to begin again. “Your half-sister wrote to tell you that she was safe and she had been living with miners-”
“Dwarves.”
He blinked. “What?”
Clarissa finally picked up the hot cider that had been cooling in front of her since she had ordered it. She threw her head back and swallowed a large mouthful. She set it down, wincing at the heat. “She wrote that she had been living with three dwarves until she married some prince. They’ve just gotten back from their honeymoon, which was why she hadn’t written before to say she was alive. There was something about a witch but Mother had kicked us out at that point.”
“Wow,” Jack said, a brow raising. He frowned. “So, how’s Rapunzel’s taking the news?”
Clarissa shrugged, tracing a stain on the bar counter. “She seems fine, bit excited. You know how she is. She’ll probably welcome Snow White.” She paused. “But Father and the council and everyone else is worried about how Snow White being alive will affect everything.”
She had been declared the heir after all.
You know, with the idea of Snow White being dead and all.
“If you ask me, they’ll be better off with you staying the heir.” Jack took a sip of his beer. The princess looked up.
“What was Snow White like?”
He gave her his own shrug. “She disappeared when she was ten. I was only two but I’ve heard stories.” His friend gave him an impatient glare, gesturing for him to continue. He sighed. “Apparently, she was really spoiled and a massive brat.”
She nodded, considering the information with tapping fingers. “Alright, we could possibly work with that. Maybe she’s changed.”
“I still hold to my opinion. The people will be better off with you.”
Clarissa gave him a cold look.
~’~’~
The day of Snow White’s arrival arrived a week later.
Rapunzel and Clarissa were dressed in matching dresses- the stuffy cream dresses used for family reunions their grandmother held every year- and both had their hair carefully braided back. They stood at the side of the dais that held their parents’ thrones. The former shifted excitedly in place, eager to meet the half-sister. The latter had her arms crossed, waiting. Everyone else in the hall, decorated in gold and dark blue, was waiting.
It felt like the court had all taken a deep breath.
The exhale was when the doors opened.
Pages and servants, knights and nobles all showed their loyalty by wearing their kingdom’s colors of mint green and silver. Finally, a young man appeared. He wore a crown and was holding hands with a young woman. She wore a crown and a cream dress herself, her face hidden behind a veil.
“His Royal Highness, fair Prince Leopold. And her Royal Highness, the fairest of them all, Princess Snow White.”
The couple stepped forward. She released his hand to push back the veil. Her skin was deathly pale, her lips appearing bloody. Her hair was coal black. Clarissa severely doubted the claim of fairest. Brown eyes looked up. “Father.” Their sister said.
Everyone stood in tense silence, waiting for the next word.
“I would like my crown.”
The silence dominated the hall. Clarissa could feel everyone blink in surprise. King Charming finally spoke, audibly gulping. “I have missed you too, my daughter.” He gestured to the queen. “I’m sure you remember Queen Ella.”
“Long live the Queen!” The court cheered, moved by their love of their queen.
The king nodded. The twins moved into place, standing before their sister. Both prepared to curtsy. “And your sisters, Princess Cl-”
“Father.” Snow White said in an attempt to sound sharp. It sounded whiny instead. There were quiet gasps at her boldness. “I would’ve thought you had gotten rid of the witch and her brats.”
The silence flooded back, the court staring. Charming clearly struggled for something to say, turning red with clear rage. Clarissa fought her own rage. Finally, he spoke. “I will see you at dinner daughter.”
Snow White nodded, giving everyone a cold look. The worse was for Ella. She turned sharply on her heel and left the hall, her husband and retinue scrambling to follow. There was even more silence after the doors closed.
“Well,” Ella said finally. “That went as well as expected.”
That seemed to be an understatement.
v.
The family dinner was…awkward, to say the least.
A feast was spread out in the Great Hall. Snow White sat down the queen’s chair, forcing Ella to sit next to the twins. Their sister turned her nose up at everything, dominating the conversation. Her new husband never spoke his own opinion, only agreeing with what she said as if it was the gospel truth. Most of the ‘the gospel truth’ was about herself and thinly veiled insults aimed at the queen. She ignored the twins entirely, blocking them from the conversation with their father.
Clarissa finally gave in to her urge to slam her head against something when she was alone in her room.
She skipped breakfast the next morning to head to the bookstore. Jack looked up when she entered. “So, how was it-”
“We’re all doomed.”
He blinked as she sat down at the counter, staring into space. “That bad?” She nodded, for lack of better words. “Well, at least we have another capable heir.” Clarissa shrugged. “Wanna know why you’re the better heir?” Jack was met with silence. “Because you’re young and scrappy.”
She blinked before straightening. “You’re right!”
“What’s Jack right about?” Goldie asked. She, Xan, and Egon stuck their heads out of the backroom.
“Just because Snow White is here doesn’t mean that I’m not gonna be the heir!” She stood up. “I’m gonna work hard, polishing my tongue and skills! I’m smart, I know what I’m doing!” Starting to pace, Clarissa continued. “Not to be proud but everyone loves my speeches!”
“Exactly!” Jack said, joining in, grabbing her shoulders. “You’re only fourteen but you got the mind of someone older! You’ll learn to handle this!”
She raised a brow. “Uh…thanks?”
“You’ll be the leader everyone needs!”
Clarissa brushed off her confusion to nod eagerly. “Right! I’m young and scrappy and not giving up my shot!”
“Please, lower your voices.” Everyone glanced at the door. Emilio Toms entered, meeting eyes with his student. “If you stay out of trouble you’ll still have a chance at the crown. I agree with you, believe me. But right now it would be best if you stay-”
“Toms, look at what we got!” Clarissa wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “We got two siblings with a printing press,” Goldie waved as Jack preened. “A hard rock immigrant,” Xan struck a pose. “And a tailor’s apprentice with hot pants!” Egon grinned. “The gods put us all here for a reason!”
“Damn right!” Jack said with a crowd. He grabbed Clarissa’s hand. “Let’s get you in front of a crowd!”
Emilio watched as the entire group headed outside, a crowd drawn by their commotion. He sighed, watching as the crowd watched Clarissa burst into an impromptu speech as she perched on Xon’s shoulders. Later, he would remember it as the last moment he saw Clarissa like this- warm and passionate and with her friends
He didn’t know that on one of the castle’s many balconies, Snow White watched her half-sister with a look of distaste.
vi.
The next day was a quiet day.
Egon was running errands, Emilio was out somewhere, and Xan and Jack worked the printing press. Goldie and Rapunzel did stock and took orders. In her own corner, Clarissa furiously wrote. Her first drafts, books about royal bloodlines and inheritance rights, and her other writing sat around her.
“Clarissa, do you want something to eat?” Her twin finally asked. “You’ve been writing for three hours.”
“No thanks. I need to find a better way to phrase this.” Clarissa underlined a sentence and continued writing. Jack opened his mouth- “And before you ask, I am perfectly fine.”
“Hear ye, hear ye!”
She frowned in confusion, standing to see the source of the commotion. The entire group moved to look outside, seeing a crowd. It had formed around the square’s stage. A young man around Jack’s she stood there, his blonde curls tied back. He wore the colors of Snow White’s husband’s kingdom. Rapunzel opened the door.
“-What claim do the queen’s children truly have to the throne? They were only conceived to replace our fair Princess Snow White, to keep her from her rightful throne!”
The entire group blinked.
The elder twin raised her hand. “Does anybody mind…?”
Egon shook his head, patting Clarissa’s shoulder. “Please. Rip him apart.”
The girl grinned before heading into the crowd. People were too focused on the speaker to notice the crown heir, making it easy to reach the stage. Ignoring the stairs, Clarissa gripped the edge of the stage and attempted to hoist herself up. Only she was too short. Her legs kicked the air uselessly.
A hand gripped her collar and yanked her off, holding her like a naughty kitten. Emilio shook his head as he dropped her. “Leave him be.”
“I plead, listen to our good princess and support her claim.” A hand was held out. The two followed it to the speaker. He smiled at Clarissa, a blush on his cheeks and clearly having no clue who she was.
She pushed away Emilio to take his hand with a pretty smile. He flushed, a goofy smile appearing as he pulled her on stage. “I plead, listen to Snow White and-”
“And what exactly?”
He blinked as she pulled away, crossing her arms. “I say that Queen Ella’s children-”
“Ignore her-”
“Have full right-”
The two tried to speak over each other, Clarissa dancing around the clearly flustered speaker. “And don’t even speak of the happiness of the people!”
“You do not speak for me!”
“My dog is a better speaker.” She said, pulling the ribbon of his hair, turning his cheeks and ears red. At that remark, the boys in the crowd let out loud whimpers. The speaker growled.
“It is a foolish business-”
“And you style your hair just like hers!” She called, whirling past him. The two slammed into each other, knocking them to the ground. His face was bright red. “I pray that Snow White shows you mercy!” He yelled.
“Is she here?”
The speaker stared, trembling. Then he let out a cry. “Shame on you!”
“For Queen Ella!”
“Shame!” He yelled, blocked by the crowd’s yells of “Long live Queen Ella!” He opened his mouth and raised the piece of paper he held -
“If you repeat yourself I’m going to scream,” Clarissa said, snatching and reading the speech. She pushed him, flushed a deep red, off the stage and turned to the crowd. “Tell me, why should a long-missing person be queen?” She ripped the speech in half and let it fall to the floor.
“Clarissa, please,” Emilio said, leaning against the stage. “This is nothing but talk from Snow White.”
“Emilio, drop the nice act-” She said, crouching to get in a better position to argue.
“SILENCE!”
Two guards from the other kingdom, who also looked like they had no idea who she was, pushed her off the stage and to the cobblestones. She sat up, rubbing her head when a hand was offered. Emilio helped her up. “You okay?” He was answered with a nod. They, like the rest of the crowd, stared at the guards as they pulled out a large paper.
“A message from Snow White!”
vii.
The door to Snow White’s rooms slammed open, Clarissa standing in the doorway. She took a breath, glancing at the piece of paper she held to make her angrier. “Snow White! This speech is an enormous disrespect -”
“YOU IDIOT! I SAID THE PURPLE, NOT THE PERIWINKLE!”
Snow White stood in the middle of her room, maids scurrying around. She looked like she was just getting ready. Clarissa gaped at her, underdress on and hair pulled back to provide access to whatever corset she was going to wear. The younger girl glanced out a window. The sun was high, showing it was noon.
Seriously!?
“You!” She pulled her gaze back to see her half-sister pointing at her. Snow White snapped her fingers. Clarissa pointed, shocked into silence. “Yes, you! What do you want, I’m very busy!”
The light-haired girl dodged a maid holding a hideous purple velvet dress. “I’m sure of that-” She stomped her foot, snapping her mind back to her mission. “No! I mean, this speech is an insult to this kingdom and any taste!” She held up the paper she had flitched from the guards.
“It can’t be a crime if its true.” Snow White said as she slipped into a fancy corset. She waved away the maid who reached for the laces. All the maids looked very annoyed dealing with the spoiled princess. Clarissa could empathize.
“It’s not true! That’s another reason why all copies of this should be burnt!” She cleared her throat before reading. “My dear subjects, I, the fair Snow White, have an issue. This issue is related to the fact that the witch Cinderella Mannis still rules with her awful daughters. And on and on and on!”
“She is a horrible witch. It’s not my fault that nobody sees that.”
Clarissa growled, pulling off her glove. She summoned ice and willed it to form the shape she wanted. By the time she was done, she held a beautiful comb. She walked up to Snow White.
Gripping the corset laces, she pulled them as hard and as far as possible and then tied the corset as tight as she could. Before the other could complain, she stuck the comb in her hair.
Snow White fell to the ground.
“She’s not dead, just so you know,” Clarissa said, wiping her hands on her skirt. “The comb has a simple sleep spell on it. It’ll break when the comb completely melts.” The maids exchanged looks as she turned and left the room.
-_-
The time until dinner was peaceful. Clarissa fumed in her room, trying to figure out a proper way to address Snow White’s message. She was late for dinner, her family and Snow White’s husband already seated.
“Sorry, I’m late. I was doing… things.”
There was furious thumping then the doors slammed open. Snow White, half-dressed and her hair soaking wet, looked furious. “She put me in a coma!” She screeched, pointing to Clarissa.
“I did not! I just put you in a deep sleep.” She crossed her arms with a determined pout.
Snow White let out a shriek, stomping her foot. She let out another shriek when she stumbled, the heel of her shoe having broke. Her husband stood with a screech of his chair to run to her side and steady her. Snow White ignored him, jabbing a manicured red fingernail at Clarissa.  "You can’t do that! I am the fairest in the land! I should be queen!“
The others blinked in confusion. Rapunzel was the one to ask the question. "Um…what does beauty have to do with anything?”
Snow White let out a huff. She turned and stalked out of the room, her husband quick to follow.
Clarissa gulped.
Snow White, her husband, and her retinue left the next day.
viii.
For the next two weeks, everything seemed normal. The royal family and the kingdom had decided to move on from the unpleasantness of Snow White’s visit. Nothing had come from it so far, and it looked like the other kingdom was going to ignore them. But Clarissa still felt uneasy.
One night, she laid in bed.
Sleep did not come to her. She laid awake, listening to her birds quietly chirp in their sleep and vaguely making patterns out of snowflakes in the air. Winter had such beauty. Clarissa finally grew tired of lying in bed.
She got out of bed and left her room.
Unsure of a plan, Clarissa started walking. Maybe she would go down to the kitchen for a snack…She stopped at a door, unsure why. It led to her mother’s solar, where Queen Ella entertained noblewomen.
She entered.
In the full moon of midnight, the room changed. What should’ve been filled with warmth felt vaguely threatening. Clarissa looked around before her eyes landed on the mirror.
It was a beautiful mirror, silver encased in a frame of dark ebony. A pattern of flowers and swirls had been carved in the frame. A heart had been carved at the top and the bottom. The bottom held an E and a C, the first letters of her parents’ names. It had been a wedding gift from her father to her mother. The frame had been made from the bed he had shared with his first wife- Snow White’s mother. Clarissa stopped in front of it.
Her reflection looked warped in the silver lit by moonlight. She took a breath. Snow’s words before leaving rang in her head.
“I am the fairest in the land!”
“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” Sure, it felt silly. But Clarissa was probably sleep deprived -
“Definitely not Snow White.”
Everything froze.
She looked around furiously at the sudden voice. Quickly, she held up her hands, ready for a fight. “Who’s there?!”
“Over here, your Highness.” She turned to stare at the mirror. “Yep, the mirror. I know it’s a look to reflect on…” It seemed to be waiting for a reaction. Clarissa raised a brow as she slowly lowered her hands. There was a hiss from the mirror. “Yeesh, tough crowd. But trust me, Snow White isn’t the fairest.”
She blinked before she found her voice. “She said she was. What was that about?”
“Well, little Snow White wasn’t the happiest camper when your parents got married. She came in here to sulk and asked if Ella thought she was the fairest.” The surface rippled to reveal a younger Snow White. Her face was screwed up in whiny anger. “I answered and told her that Ella wasn’t the fairest but was pretty close.”
She smiled. “Thanks.”
“Loving daughter, nice! Much different from Snow. Always so me me me-”
“Are you done?”
“Oh, right.” There was a sound like a throat was being cleared. “Anyway she asked who was the fairest and before I could answer, she assumed she was the fairest. Biggest brat? Yeah, her. But definitely not the fairest.”
“Wait, wait.” She said, crossing her arms. “There’s no actual way to measure beauty, it all depends on perspective.”
“Unless you’re a magic mirror, crafted by goblins. May I continue?”
She considered that, ignoring the goblins part. Finally, she shrugged. “Fair point, yes.”
The mirror seemed to clear its throat again. “Anyway, I sensed the little trouble you’re going to have with Snow White. Which is why I called you down here! Come to me when you need it.”
She raised a brow. “What does that mean?”
There was no answer. “Mirror?” Clarissa frowned, stepping forward to poke it. “Hello? Is this thing on?” Poking it received no answer. Raising a brow, she considered it. “Alright.”
Turning, she left.
~’~’~
The message came in during breakfast, two days later. When Charming read the other kingdom’s threat, Clarissa left the room.
Jack, called by a worried Rapunzel, found her in her room, sitting underneath the caged birds. She was staring at something in her hands, everything on her desk scattered around. “I think that’s a bad way to stay clean.” He said, sitting next to her. There was no answer. “Whatcha got there?”
She moved her hands, revealing a small magpie. Frost had formed on its wings and ice had formed deep on its head and chest.
“It’s dead.”
“Did you…?”
“Stress, I think. I forgot my gloves and I reached inside…” Usually, when she forgot her gloves, she could manage to control her powers. “It was over before I could stop it. Like everything else.”
“It’s not your fault.”
A hysterical laugh burst from her. “I lost my patience. It is my fault. Snow White is probably telling a trumped-up version of what happened.”
“Yeah, well, she’s a bitch and who cares what she thinks.”
Clarissa had no response, staring at the poor magpie. Jack frowned.
“You want me to bury it?”
She finally shrugged. “…Sure.”
ix.
The boys joined the army, under the command of General Arthur. He was a good man and Clarissa trusted him with her friends’ safety. She wrote speeches and pamphlets about how people could help the war effort, where to go and what to do, and about how the war was stupid but they still had to fight it. Goldie and Rapunzel worked hard at the bookstore.
Jack rose through the ranks through the months to become Arthur’s second in command. Xan earned a command, as well as Emilio, who seemed angry at Jack for some reason. Egon had disappeared. There were rumors that he was a spy.
Things changed.
Clarissa walked through the camp to her father’s tent. Inside, the generals and the king were looking over a map. General Arthur looked up, bald head covered by his hat. “Ah, your Highness. Thank you for coming.”
“You’re welcome.”
She stood next to her father, preparing to explain the plan that she, General Arthur, and her father came up with to the soldiers. “The plan is simple.” She picked up a piece marked with a crown to leave it in the capital. “The king and I will stay here while the army divided into three groups. The opposing army will come to try and capture us. One side will block them from the west, the one guarding the north, the other from the east. The navy will cut off their sea escape.”
A commander raised his hand. “Princess, doesn’t this create a risk of you two getting captured?”
“Yes, but we are placing our trust in you,” Clarissa said evenly. She tapped a corner of the map. “Plus, Queen Ella and Princess Rapunzel have been safely evacuated. If worse comes to worst, they’ll be safe to lead. This is our best chance. Any questions?”
Silence.
“Good. Now, let’s end this!”
The generals let out a cheer.
-_-
The plan worked.
Small battles led the enemy to the capital, Jack with his own command leading the way. The city had been emptied as well, civilians sent to stay where the queen and Rapunzel could lead them. Goldie was among them. Clarissa stood in her mother’s solar, staring out the window. The defenses were starting to be set up.
Her fingers twitched. Winter was approaching. She could feel it.
“Princess.”
She turned. A soldier stood there. He cut a low now before delivering the message.
“The enemy is approaching.”
She nodded and headed out of the room. Her footsteps were quick, soon arriving at the city’s gates. Xan was there, talking to…
“Egon!”
The three embraced. Clarissa pulled away with a grin. “Where have you  been?”
“In the other kingdom. I got a job under Snow White in order to pass information to General Arthur.” He ruffled her hair. “I heard you came up with the plan.”
She let out a sheepish chuckle. “I helped.”
Horns rang. She frowned, stepping away. “That’s for you.” At their look, she shrugged. “Father refuses to allow me to participate. I must watch.”
They nodded. With one last embrace, the boys left.
Clarissa sighed.
She turned and ran back to the castle.
-_-
She waited in the solar.
It was far from the walls, a safe distance from the battle. The castle was empty except for her. She sat on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. The fabric of her skirt was flush against her lips. But Clarissa did not cover her ears, allowing herself to listen to the sounds of war visible from here.
When it went silent, after hours of fighting, she unfurled herself. She stumbled out of the solar and then the castle.
The city was eerie in the silence. She hurried. Finally, she stood on the wall.
The battle had been huge. The grass had been stained red with the bodies. But she could see the king, General Arthur, Xan, and Egon standing. They were all staring at one thing.
A young man, in the enemy’s colors, waving a white flag.
The cheering was loud.
-_-
Surrender terms talks started.
People returned.
Clarissa set to work.
She was working on a speech when a letter came. “It’s for you,” Rapunzel said. There was an odd tone to her voice. “From the Skye area.” Skye was where a particularly stubborn bunch of the enemy were hiding out. Rapunzel’s voice was trembling. “I got one too.”
“It must be from Jack. I’ll read it later.”
“No, it’s not.”
The urgency in her twin’s voice made her pause. She stopped and set down her quill. She straightened in her seat. “Read it.”
There was a crinkle of paper and a throat clearing.
“I am forced to announce the news that in the Battle of Skye, Commander Jack was killed. He is buried at…”
Jack was dead.
x.
Dear Princess Snow White,
You have done a great disservice to my kingdom.
You have allowed your selfishness to blind you to only what you want, not what is best for the people. You believe you are the fairest and this vanity has gotten to your head. This selfish vanity has cost me a dear friend because of a battle of a war you insisted on.
You claim my mother is a witch and expect the people to a queen that had been presumed dead for years. You expect them to listen to a woman who ignores what they have to say. You expect your claim of being the fairest to give you the throne. I write this now to tell you this.
It will not be that easy.
Sincerely,
Princess Clarissa
~’~’~
There was a knock on the door. Emilio looked up from his papers over his newest case and stood to answer it.
Clarissa stood on the doorway, much to his surprise for several reasons.
The first that it was snowing and she only wore her dress. Despite not feeling the cold, she usually donned a coat. She wasn’t even wearing shoes.
The second was that she looked paler. Her platinum blonde curls, pulled into the busy bun, were more white than anything. Her blue eyes had taken a grey shade to them.
The third was her hand was clenching into a fist. Blood leaked in between her fingers.
“Princess?”
“I did something stupid.”
A cold wind blew. He shivered but she didn’t even flinch. “What did you do?”
“I can’t tell you right now. Can you come to Skye at dawn in two days?”
He blinked but couldn’t look away from her unflinching stare. “Alright.” The words escaped him before he could stop.
She nodded.
“Thank you.”
She turned and disappeared into the winter night. Emilio was left standing there. He was suddenly frightened.
~’~’~
“What do I need to do?”
“It’s really simple! All you need to do is knock me off the wall or slam me against the floor and boom! Stronger magic!”
“No, what I’ll have is a bunch of shards.”
“Princess, think about it. Magic plus magic equals more magic.”
“Okay, so how do I get that stronger magic? Swallow the shards?”
“…Um…”
“…Oh, you can’t be serious.”
“I am. If you want to be stronger, you have to.”
“But that’ll hurt.”
“There’s no gain without pain, Princess. Did I say that right?”
She sighed, her hand balling into a fist. There was a loud crunch as her fist slammed into the mirror.
The glass shattered.
xi.
There was snow. There was frost. There was ice.
There was Winter.
Rapunzel sat in the throne room, trying to ignore the frozen bodies of her parents behind her. The city had been buried and for the people who had been caught, it had been death. She had survived, up in her tower. Xan and Egon were away as far as she knew, checking on Goldie. Hopefully, they had survived.
And Emilio.
There was no sign of her approach. Just a hand on her shoulder. She looked up.
Her skin had frozen to a shade of either white or light blue, hair lightened to snow white. She had grown taller, frost on the area over her heart. Her too-grey eyes were cold. She moved her lips to form a smile but it was too cold to be real.
“Rapunzel.”
“Clarissa.” There was hope in her tone, that her sister was still in there.
“Not anymore.” The hand pulled away to be stretched out in offering. “Come.”
Rapunzel took it.
They walked away from their parents. Through the hallways. Past an open door that led to a solar with a broken mirror. Past a door that led to a bedroom full of frozen birds. Up a staircase, to a door.
Rapunzel entered her prison.
-_-
Years later, a prince would come.
An older, a wiser Rapunzel would marry him.
Fa Xan would return home, Egon at his side.
Fa would father a warrior child who would train under Egon.
Emilio and Goldie would go to a city.
They would each have a grandchild that would meet at the rose box.
And Clarissa?
The Snow Queen sat on her throne and watched.
1 note · View note