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#fyozai x sister reader
justcallmesakira · 3 months
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HIII OMG I haven’t had a good laugh in a while until i came across your fyodor’s sis dating dazai hcs IT GOT ME ROLLING ON THE FLOOR 😭 can i request for dazai’s sister dating fyodor if you’re up for it? fluff crack make it silly if you want i’ll enjoy anything from you for sure!!
"Dazai with a sister dating Fyodor!"
Sypnosis: Uh oh! Looks like Dazais one and only sister he grew up with is dating a rat who the entirety of yokohama is after!
Genre: crack, suggestive? (idk sth is wrong with me)
Warning: More blasting, bombing, terrorrist, rizz,
A/N: AHHH I AM SO HAPPY U ENJOYED IT- AND I AM MORE THEN HAPPY BCS I MADE YOU LAUGH !!! >.<
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nahhh like brother like sister :/
NO BCS i feel like fyodor just wanted to temper dazai by using his ugly breedable charms on you
But it backfired terribly! (like his posture)
Though you were his one and oNlY eNeMyS blood relative he just couldnt help but flirt with you and perhaps ykyk do those romantic stuff ppl do
This is so ooc rn ;skull emoji 69x;
However you were extremly LIKE extremly careful to not let your brother know
You literly sneaked off the house as if you were sneaking inthe kitchen to cook a whole buffet at 3am!!
Except you were sneaking off to EAT a whole buffet😏😏
Even the rat himself helped you to sneak to his rusty ahh apartment
Wow! The first thing he actually did for others!!!!!
Honestly dazai would be chill though-
Like oh his sister is dating someone? welp sure! i have exes all around the city hope its not one of them though hehe...HeHe
FUCKING SLU--
You took the risk of rizzing fyodor up infront of him though like:
"I am crime, I am punishment" you: "I know something else you can punish :3"
Dazai woke back from the dead with em bones fish eye when u said that
AYYY DAZAI IN HIS MELANIE MARTINEZ "PORTALS" ERA!!!!1😍
When he find out though.....oh god hes going to give you that light skin stare, with his eyes turning into nothing but a pitch black void
like my soul-- OKAY THIS IS THE LAST ONE I PROMISE--
One day you met up with fyodor and you were so excited that you nearly threw his anemic ass to the ground
"Yaaaah fedya,!! we finally met! dont give me that face do u know how hard it is to come and meet you when my lazy ahh brother puts trackers on me!" "Malyshka, please calm down---''
All of a sudden u could hear shuffling which instantly cautions the both of you only for your eyes to be meeted with your brothers eye turning into nothing but pitch black like the face he gave when he saw mori
your getting grounded <3
"Out of all people...out of 8 billion people, sister😀" "I-i-i-i i can explain"
he then looked at fyodor with the ugliest angry face ever "YOU FUCKING RAT HOW DARE YOU WOO MY SISTER WITH FEHUYOUR UGFLY AHH RATUTILLIE NO RIZZ MANIUPULATION I AM GONNA BLAST YO-"
damn.. dazai become eminem
the shift mood between to u then to fyodor was so funny
LIKE YALL SAW THE ADVICE FYODOR GAVE TO DAZAI IN THEIR CELLS? THATS A BIT--- UM YANDERE??????!!
"BROTHER CALM DOWN I WAS NOT MANIUPULATED TF-" "THAT WONT STOP ME FROM MY MANSLAUGHTER ARC" "WHAT?--"
#siblinggoalsfr
fyodor honestly only glared at him with a smile that said "If they annoy you, go for their sibling"
dazai YANKED Your arm taking you back to you apartment and just stared at you as if you got a B in maths
uh oh...
So YEAH after hours of not being able to calm him down he finally accepted!
Dazai gifted fyodor a dead rat in a helicopter after he accepted you guys😍😍😍
No bcz i think u and nikolai would have matching energy--
Nikolai: "Dos-kun bites his nails!" You: "Real except he bites my neck!"
one day ranpo jolted up from his seat with fisheye and slowly turned to you as if you ate his (dead)mother
"Dazai Y/N, you did not..." "Oh yes yes i just did :3"
everybody was so confused like did you steal his snacks or sth???
"like brother like sister i guess...." -ranpo after finding out his bestie is doing unholy things to his enemy
JKJK-
Dazai acted so overdramatic omg- ugh hes so babygirl
"I still cant believe it... MY OWN SISTER DATING-DAT-DATING A STINKY RAT! Wait- WHAT IF YOU GET MARRIED???????!!!!! WILL YOUR NAME BE D-D-D-DOS-DOE RATVESKY?? sis you better let him take your name WAIT NO I WILL NOT SHARE MY NAME WITH HIM UGFYDUTYFE"
dramatic gossip girlie fr
like its literly like
"I took your victory😈" "I took your sisters viriginty😈😈😈"
i am so sorry-WAHHHHHHHHHH- *gets shot in the head by reader for being so dirty*
during gatherings, they just smile at each other protesting in their minds who can take care of u better while your in a chair rollin around and going :3
kuro kuro kuro kuroooo kuro kuro kuro kuro ding luro kuro ding~
until your silly ahh falls! :D
And its just a second of time to see who can cath you first-
Dazais going to turn your wedding into an arson commitment!
"Breaking news!, Depressed man who half the fandom slanders burns down his sisters wdding venue with soy sauce!"
Well... its a funky ride! but hey its fyodor
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A/N: i know its short but i tried okay- ENJOY!! i love doing crack if i cant laugh or be happy i will make others happy!! <33
Divider crds: @nikolaismasquerade
tags! @silverbladexyz @riiwrites @chuuyasboner @heartsfourdazai @atlasnessie @atsquie @tojifile @biscuits-lovely-corner @darling--angst
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justcallmesakira · 3 months
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hihihihi AUGH i love ur work sm?!! omg if u can fyodor with a younger sister (she has the same level of intelligence of him and works in the doa and his organaization) who is dating dazai? :) I know there are some but i need crack and suggestive!!1
ty and er bye good luck take ur time!
"Fyodor with a sister dating Dazai''
Sypnosis: Your rat brother is anything but happy about the fact that you are dating his only enemy on earth! Good luck on surviving!!!
Genre: crack, suggestive at the end
Warnings: bombing, terrorizz, , mentions of maniupulative behaviour, mentions of verlaine, roblox radgoll, loads of simping words, me being down bad, making out (lol), your mom
A/N: my reqs are currently closed but ehhhh who cares lol also THIS WAS SO HARD TO WRITE HONESTLY- pls enjoy and reblog i tried my best--- *dies of mental ilness*
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How bro-
JUST HOW DID U DO THAT W/O HIM BLASTING DAZAIS INTERNAL ORGANS? 🤯🤯🤯
No bcs fyodor did not even plan to let u meet dazai but ofcourse bcs of the dead apple tower and stuff and since then he had completly fallen inlove with you whether you are dostoevskys sister or not
He prob asked u to do a waltz with him in the mukokukokurokito or whatver the phuck that towers name was when you entered the castle with your brother
Fyodor WAS NOT happy because he saw the flirty glint in dazais eyes when u came
If looks cold kill-.. (KILL ME, RUSSIAN ZADD😍😍---)
And all you went was giggles and flirting back
Fyodor is prob gonna get his own medicine bcs they two are so like each other??? but he still couldnt believe how you with such high intelligence could fall for him???
(fyodor take your anemic medication first)
Dazai obv had some skeptics after you but like the manwhore he is and prob slept with the entierty of yokohama! ofc hes gonna court you as if you might not just use him!!!
Very (not) normal behaviour indeed!!
HELP YOU KNOW THAT ONE INDIAN RIZZLER VS. UWU CAT??? HES LITERLY THAT BUT
Dazai: "I fucked your sister she be screaming high pitch😈" fyodor: "What did you say, you little child i will crush your skull 😡😡😡should have known when i smile, I also play cello, i can be anything Уву"
that was UWU in russian btw-
But in all serious he will try maniupultaing you or gaslighting you into leaving dazai, he cant leave his only family to a man he does not trust! fyodor doesnt even trust himself-
fyodors gonna act a bit more colder then usual bcs of the fact HIS sister is dating someone and that someone is his enemy
Honeslty you go up to say chuuya whos like "why do i get deja vu-" *flashback to verlaine* you: "First time?"
But ofc since you are also extremely smart you somehow convinced him (after playing roblox radgoll with him for 8 hours) to let you atleast join date with dazai
I bet you rizzed up dazai by "He said his favourite colour was blue, so i blew him up😍💣"
*insert proud brother noises*
He speaks in russian or any slavic language whenever you three are in a gathering to mostly embarress dazai
I have seen some hcs on dazai being a collarbone biter so if you were off shoulder shirts and fyodor sees them by chance hes going to glare at you as if you are covered in mud :33
"Sister,,,what. is. that." *nasty side eye to the love bite on your neck*
Dazai 100% one time randomly pulled you into the alley and started aggresively making out with you with his hands literly sprawling all over your body like hes daddy long legs or sth-
Bcs HE KNEW that fyodor had cctv set in that part of the city and fyodor would be raging at the fact that the sluttiest man is touching his precious sister like that
bros gonna forgot abt human rights- oh wait hes russian
IF HE EVER CATCHES YOU TWO THO--
Like making out on some bed or sth hes actually no LIKE ACTUALLY GOING TO throw a whole ass cabinet at dazai with a face full of nothing but malice-
"How dare, an inhuman animal like you touch my very sister" "BRO CHILL I AM YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW--"
And your just trying to stop your brother from commiting murder even though that his hobby ^^
fyodor finally forgot he had anemia bcs now all his focus was to give dazai the most painful death know to the medieval period\
Good luck on stoping your brother from poking a fork in your lovers eye in family dinners!!
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A/N: guys ik i am doing the valentines req pls be patient i am trying my best!! i have a relly bad mental health rn so yeahhh-
Divider crds!: @cafekitsune
tags! @silverbladexyz @biscuits-lovely-corner @riiwrites @heartsfourdazai @tojifile @atsquie @atlasnessie @chuuyasboner @yosanosboner @ruanais @darling--angst
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