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shirtlesssammy · 5 years

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7x13: The Slice Girls

Welcome to our last episode before hiatus is over. We’re knocking out another Buckleming episode. Natasha has some strong words at the end. Buckleming are the worst.

Then:

Oh, yeah, Bobby died, and I never watched that episode again

Now:

A white man™ sits quietly at his computer at home one night. He hears a noise and suddenly he’s getting sliced and diced in good old cold open fashion.

Sam and Dean are on the road. Sam’s driving so Dean can indulge in his “coping through season 7 juice”. He saved Bobby’s flask and we all know ghosts can’t inhabit personal items, *cough* *cough*. Anyway, Dean’s drinking his way through his grief and Sam’s working cases his way through his grief.

They head to the coroner that holds the cold open victim. AND, I’m sorry, but is Dean flirting with the coroner? I rarely rewatch Buckleming so when I find these forgotten moments in the wild I’m taken aback. I thought I knew the full extent of Dean’s little world, but wow, apparently not.

They learn that all the victims are male and there’s weird ritualistic mutilation with the bodies after they are dead. And any DNA from potential suspects doesn’t match anything human.

After the morgue, Sam wants to do more research, and Dean needs to blow off some steam. He decides to go undercover.

Later at a bar (It’s a fancy bar and Dean’s wearing his suit, so not like Dean), he chitchats with a woman (he’s an investment banker who speaks minimal Japanese) and she’s into it so she invites him back to her place.

While Dean works through his coroner frustration, the show intercuts it with another man’s murder. Bravo on the editing.

The next morning, the brothers head to the latest crime scene. Dean asks Sam if he made any headway on the symbol. “We’re gonna need an expert.” “Expert? Our expert’s dead.” OMG. OUCH.

At the crime scene, a friend of the victim’s stops by and Sam asks him some questions. It turns out the victim cheated on his wife a couple nights prior. The neighbor insists the wife wouldn’t have harmed her husband though. Also, whoever has been killing these men were big and strong.

It’s at this moment that Dean realizes that he forgot his flask at Lydia’s (his workout buddy from the prior night). He calls her but she hasn’t seen the flask and she hangs up.

She’s pretty busy at the moment --being really pregnant!

Cut to later at a very dangerous birthing session (way too many candles), Lydia is told that the “pain is an honor” and I’m not a mother but that is SOME bullshit there. Anyway, she has a healthy 3-4 month old baby she’s told to name Emma.

Sam and Dean head to interview the mayor of Sunnydale a professor with some knowledge on the sigil carved on the men. He wants money before he’ll talk. They pull the FBI card and tell him that they’ll put in a good word with the IRS and they want answers by tomorrow.

Dean is missing Bobby after that little exchange so he decides to head to Lydia’s to get his flask.

Lydia’s surprised to see him. Dean really needs that flask. She goes to get it and he follows her inside. He finds a baby (at least 12 months old?) and Lydia admits that it’s hers. Dean Bean goes into the room to see the baby closer (brb, off to read a few hundred domestic Destiel AUs to fill this giant hole my heart.)

Dean’s phone rings and it’s Sam. While he’s on the phone with him, Dean hears the baby and Lydia talk. Uh…

Sam heads to inspect the latest vic alone. He finds out a lot of the victims visited the same bar Dean was at a couple nights ago.

Dean’s staking out Lydia’s place, and watches as the women present at Emma’s birth arrive.

Sam calls and gives him grief for obsessing over the woman. Dean thinks there’s something strange going on and he’ll tell Sam when he figures it out. Sam tells him about the bar but Dean hangs up on him as Lydia’s door opens again. The women all emerge with what appears to be a 8 year old girl. Dean can’t believe what he’s seeing. “I hate when this happens.” Yes, fathering a monster baby is a bitch, Dean. He follows the women into a back alley warehouse.

Dean prowls down an alley, following the car full of women. (Hey, that sentence came out really creepy.) The women disappear into an unmarked building.

Later, Dean briefs Sam on the situation. There was nothing that screamed “baby” to him when he was at Lydia’s earlier. Now, Emma’s an elementary-school-aged kid, to all appearances. He’s suspicious.

Sam thoroughly mocks Dean for feeling like something’s off with Lydia and Emma. The professor calls, interrupting their conversation. He’s got info!

At their mysterious destination, five young (but slightly older) girls are offered pieces of raw (presumably) human meat and big ol’ glasses of milk. Yum! They’re instructed to complete their “blood missions.” Emma is hesitant to eat the meat. (And who can blame her? Blech.)

At the university, the “I’m super busy don’t talk to me” professor has managed to create a whole slideshow for the boys, who settle into one of the middle rows to watch.

The symbol is Greek. It’s a combination that symbolizes Harmonia and Eres, a goddess and god who begat the Amazons. The professor disparages the cartoon version of Amazons: Wonder Woman (them’s fightin’ words!). He describes Amazons as having little use for men. They procreate, then kill the male, cutting off several body parts.

Elsewhere, the head detective holds a hissing phone call with the head Amazon. It turns out that they’re buddies. They know that Dean and Sam are giant fakers and more than that, they suspect they’re hunters.

Back at their current hotel HQ, Dean digs through Bobby’s dusty old books and drinks from his flask. Sam info-dumps more lore. The Amazons were nearly decimated and bargained for Harmonia’s gift to grow their ranks. She made it so they mate, give birth in a few days, and then the child is mature in just a handful more. Dean realizes that he’s now a father, just as Sam grasps that as well. Use birth control, kids!

Back with the Amazons in training, they’re lectured about joining the ranks of the other women and branded with the symbol on their wrist.

Sam summarizes all their victims as rich, successful businessmen - perfect for the Amazons’ gene pool. (REALLY is that the mark of “good” DNA? Really??? Fuck that. There’s so much wrong here I could write a whole damn book on it.) Sam wants to know why Dean got picked. Dean confesses that he pretended to be an investment banker. While Sam judges Dean heavily, papers move mysteriously in the room, exposing a single sheet. Sam pulls out the EMF and it wails at him. Skeptic Sammy points out power lines and a breezy window. Dean thinks it’s Bobby’s ghost.

Sam picks up the exposed paper, written in Greek, and brings it to the professor to read. Meanwhile, Dean stays where he is, holed up in their room when there’s a knock on the door. It’s Emma! She tells him that she needs his help and that she knows she can trust him because he’s her father.

Dean’s on guard, but Emma says that she was trapped with the rest of the Amazons and ordered to do terrible things. There are tears in her eyes as she describes getting branded. Dean quietly lets her in.

Emma asks for Dean’s help to leave town. “I know you don’t want me,” she tells him. (I throw a rotten banana at the screen. How DARE this show.) She begs for his help in finding normalcy.

The professor - who is doing some really LATE office hours - excitedly tells Sam that the Amazon child is meant to kill the father, not the mothers.

As Sam leaves the university, the detective from earlier stops him with a single, very strong hand. He notices her Amazon brand and she calls him by name - she knows she’s a hunter. She hurls Sam down the stairs and pulls out a sword, but Sam whips out his gun and shoots her in the chest before she can kill him. So apparently a bullet works just fine.

Emma continues to make a case for freedom. When she says she’s hungry, Dean heads over to check out the fridge.

Emma pulls out her Amazon blade while Dean’s back is turned and Dean whirls around and confronts her with a gun. Emma argues that it’s her place to kill him. Furthermore, she calls Dean on his hesitation - he won’t kill her. “You haven’t killed anybody yet, Emma. Walk away,” Dean pleads.

Emma says she doesn’t have a choice just before Sam breaks in and points a gun at Emma. She flashes him a shine of smug monster-face before pleading with Dean, one more time, to help her. Sam shoots her and kills her while Dean looks on in horror.

A little while later, Dean and Sam sneak into the old building Dean tracked the Amazons to. It’s abandoned.

They drive away to the next case. Dean acts optimistic: they’ll find those sneaky Amazons and kill ‘em dead next time. Instead of rallying, Sam goes off on Dean, shouting at him about his hesitation in killing Emma. “She was not yours. Not really.”

Dean smiles mirthlessly. She was his child, even if she wasn’t his daughter.

Sam (in a thoroughly OOC way, in my opinion) blows right past this enormous minefield of emotion to tell Dean that he’s off his game. First losing Cas, then Bobby have sent Dean into a tailspin. Sam caps off his inspiring speech with “Don’t get killed.” Thanks, Sam. Good talk.

Natasha: Hi, hello, I HATE this episode. Dean’s lost Cas and Bobby and then this show has the GALL to lob a child at Dean and then CHIDE HIM for not wanting to kill her. Meanwhile, Sam belittles Dean’s hesitation and parallels it to the necessity of his friend Amy’s death. Do you know how dirty and awful I feel every time I think about Amy’s death? DO YOU? And she’d actually killed multiple people by then. We never talk about that one time Dean accidentally fathered a child and Sam killed her mid-conversation, and I can only assume this remains a deep and terrible scar on their souls. I’d forgotten the “breeding” detail but that paired with casting choices make this episode a big pile of YUCK for me.

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Quotazons:

“Didn’t match anything human” usually seals the deal for me

Nice decor. Very early slaughterhouse

It's a flask, not the holy grail

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#spn recap #spn rewatch #spn 7x13 #the slice girls #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural season 7

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