#herbtxt

[freakvampire]

i want someone to talk about me with as much unhinged lust, love, and admiration as the way mcr bloggers talk about those middle aged men

#mcr #at the end of the day these r a bunch of 40 year olds. #but by god are they sososo babygirl! #herbtxt #my chemical romance #edit: think i forgot a word bc i was stoned #also some of the urls in the notes... target audience.

[freakvampire]

flirting with your crush by tracing the Y incision of an autopsy on their chest and explaining how medical examiners open the chest cavity

#herbtxt #i don't know how to tag this tbh but #idk. of course you'd do that tumblr user freak vampire #me with *****

[freakvampire]

me: so what’s Elf Heaven about?

tolkien: it's a physical place, and you used to be able to get there by sailing west because Middle Earth was flat. you can't anymore, because well, it's a sphere, and it's Elrond's human twin’s fault that Middle Earth is a sphere

me: ....what?

tolkien:

#the silmarillion #herbtxt #this is grossly understating things #and only what i gleamed from reading wikis like mad trying to find out if #someone could leave middle earth to get to valinor after galadriel & celeborn & elrond left on the last ship outta MID earth #my conclusion is: i don't see why not! #valinor is still up there it's just not a migration anymore

[freakvampire]

where's that "the lord of horses shows up and he's just another horse. later on, the lord of eagles shows up. and he can talk. the lord of horses couldn't talk." "he just didn't want to talk to you" post. i thought y'all were joking. no the lord of eagles does talk and it's, like, a normal human voice speaking English or common or whatever. that's wild. the more i learn about lotr the less i can respect those people that take it way too fucking seriously. like don't tell me that dwarves can't be genderfluid, there's giant fucking eagles that speak english. rules are being bent. belief is suspended.

#prince reads the hobbit #herbtxt

[freakvampire]

i should start live-blogging the hobbit. since im already almost halfway through let me condense the thoughts i've had so far:

a million years ago there was a post about how girl hobbit names are Honeysuckle and Belladonna and Dandylion but boy hobbit names are Bungee and Gundo and Bungo. you guys weren't fucking kidding. Bilbo's parents are Belladonna and Bungo Baggins. that's so fucked up. my hobbit name is Dildo Bongwater and that's not at all out of bounds for hobbits. brandywine is just a fancy alternative to bongwater

i really do get the feeling that this started as a bedtime story, and that the hobbit is a good book to read aloud to kids with voices and all that

is there a canon story as to how the elves lost their whimsy? in the hobbit they're skipping and dancing and singing silly little songs and then in the lotr movies they're like. ethereal but serious. did Tolkien just decide they needed to be more serious? cause i'm hoping there was some sort of horrible epidemic that causes elves to lose their "tra-la-lally, down in the valley" whimsy

text i sent to my friend: "12 pages into the hobbit and they've sang two songs. love it. there had better be a song every 6 pages". unfortunate update: 125 pages in and there should've been like 20 songs but there's only been probably 6 or 7.

#herbtxt #prince reads the hobbit #<- this shall be the tag for i hath declared it as such #thou art at liberty (as is the custom upon this site) to block the aforementioned tag should discussions of the hobbit bother ye

[freakvampire]

beloved mutuals, does anyone recommend any good binders that aren't gc2b or shapeshifters? preferably ≤ 50 usd. my gc2b binders are reaching the end of their lifespan and i love my shapeshifters binder but i don't have the money to buy another.

for them's binder is 52 and i could manage that IF the quality is good and it will bind well for fat people.

#herbtxt

[freakvampire]

food smell lingers on hands after washing. 12 dead 1500 injured

#herbtxt #does anyone else get a little crazy when their hands still smell like food. i can't deal w that #makes me violent. gonna start throwing things #ive used 2 different soaps :(

[freakvampire]

so so so true bestie alex 🙏

#alex winter #herbtxt #i love blocking people whose vibes i hate

[freakvampire]

tom paris is an animal to me. a beloved small-medium sized dog. i'd keep him in a purse and put a cheesy bandana on him

#tom paris #star trek voyager #Star Trek #st #voy #herbtxt

[freakvampire]

tagged by @stlaika ! ily paydja

shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist & post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people

I Wish I Was A Riot Grrrl by Destructo Disk

Cha Cha Cha by Käärijä

Never Fight A Man With A Perm by IDLES

Nancy Boy by Placebo

Make It Hurt by Narrow Head

Badlands by Black Foxxes

Loud(y) by Lewis Del Mar

Body & Blood by clipping.

Rough Terrain (Reprise) by Born Without Bones

Human Collapse by Штадт ft Qual

tagging @itpri @leafquest @blasphemery @superfast-jellybitch @nonbinary-donatello @theworidentire @sootonthecarpet @heyfagbutt @g0re-b0y @kurt-nightcrawler @voidambassador and whoever else wants to do it !

#tag game #herbtxt

[freakvampire]

i love star trek. it's so brilliant and Yet it was made by people just like us with flaws and so it is flawed

#herbtxt #star trek #voyager #deep space nine #the next generation #i have so many complicated feelings #.there's just like.

[freakvampire]

current wave of bots don't have an auto generated bio :// ladies where's your pizzazz? where's my modest entertainment in this miserable housekeeping task? you didn't even change the colour of your blog :(

#am i nothing to you :( #herbtxt

[freakvampire]

several years ago, before anything really happened, an anon asked me to tag ezra miller posts to blacklist them. and i remember thinking to myself like "i get not liking [their] acting, but [they're] not a terrible person". i starting tagging it bc why not, they said please, but looking back... anon, you were right. you were right.

#ezra miller // #herbtxt

[freakvampire]

having income is fucking great. i get to commission so much art. im going mad with power

#herbtxt

[freakvampire]

damn y'all ain't kidding. far beyond the stars is one of the best ds9 episodes

#ds9 #star trek #deep space nine #herbtxt

[freakvampire]

yes i quickly skim the blogs that follow me when i get the notif. but if you don't pass my 3 post vibe check, i'm blocking you

#herbtxt #usually it's a soft block because i don't like them. but sometimes i just banish them from existence #gets a new follower. looks at their blog. sees 3 hairy potty posts in a row. hard block. #this last blog was. i kid you not. marvel post. outdated not funny post. hairy potty post. #like girl you're not coming back from that.