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#hope i’m not the only one to whom michael is very much giving catholic guilt/religious trauma vibes
victorvanovocnydort · 3 months
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ahs text posts ft my favs, brought to you by yours truly
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some of the backgroud pics are shamelessly stolen from pinterest, some are mine
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beigejournals · 4 years
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Season 5 Lucifer
welcome to my unsolicited thoughts about Season 5 of Lucifer.  
as an avid and veteran series binger AND a talker-while-watching-a-movie-or-series-but-does-not-want-to-spoil-anything-for-my-friends type of person, i have finally dedicated a space and found a good way to let all my thoughts out as i watch a movie or series when i am alone when i can’t bother a lot of people because (1) they don’t want to be bothered and (2) i don’t want to spoil things for them.
so here are my thoughts, and of course, SPOILERS AHEAD.
BTW, i LOVED all of Lucifer! but this season was a slow burn for me. 
ep1
drug scene at Lux; is Amenadiel mean now?
so is Lucifer himself in his own hell loop when he became the ruler of hell? his own guilt towards his father? idk (to be frank, i don’t remember the past episodes except for the fact that he is now back in hell)
the premise of the first episode is cute!
side note after the title card: i remember how much i loved the soundtrack for Lucifer!
Maze is still hot.
I love how Maze and Chloe’s relationship developed and how they don’t have to use words to communicate.
Amenadiel’s and the Psychologist’s house HAHAHAHA i love it.
is Charlie Jesus? His mom’s faith in front of Ella is like every mom plus every religious person ever haha
YES. ELLA. YOU. DESERVE. A. GOOD. GUY.
self-improvement is now a meme, huh?
Dan is me.
comment on drug scene: Amenadiel is still the same, haha!
Maze and the card, haha!
how was the guy in the mask face (did i just say mask face?) blurred but in the party, Los Angeles was in perfect accuracy. excuse me.
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coming out of the dead: “oh sorry, that’s so gross!” LORDT HAHA
love you, Charlie! hope you don’t feel like you have to perform because your mom expects a lot from you and that’s so ironic because she’s a psychologist!
Dan’s speeches about parenting: i get it tho, parents try to love their child, sometimes, they just don’t know how
also, i think it’s the sister but Chloe’s just a softie
lol Maze is jealous that Chloe got to talk to Lucifer and trying to say that they don’t need Lucifer.
OOF MAZE.
i forgot about what happened with Eve.
GUYS THE MURDERER IS LITERALLY GOING TO ESCAPE.
the amount of projection as defense mechanism in this episode is too much it feels like it’s too on the nose.
but i do love the parallel between what’s happening on Earth and in hell.
the amount of layers in this question either it’s Lucifer’s or his or his sister’s (assuming it is his sister who was behind his murder)
ok apparently it’s not his sister.
me in law school:
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sana all kaya kang mahalin na babalik from hell. kilig aq.
also, after all these years, Lucifer’s house has been so clean!!! wala man lang alikabok
if she’ll be fine without him then who tf is that?
ok i read the synopsis for the next couple of episodes. i don’t like spoilers. don’t make the same mistake.
ep2
i’m Ella when it comes to my friends’ special people HAHA
also, i love the slight lean to one side to show us that this is not the real Lucifer.
why does he have to be naked???
it’s so funny for me how they have to reestablish him. LUCIFER NEVER LIES HAHAHAHAHA yes we can remember now after you repeated it 3x.
ALSO WHY IS EVERYTHING TO ON THE NOSE. EVERY SECOND IS A METAPHOR FOR SOMETHING. was it always like this?
Oh Michael. Nice. Was he an archer? We love the American accent.
how can Amenadiel not know that was Michael? GANON KA IDENTICAL SIZ?
we love the unnecessary car chase just to  reinstate the fact that this is a crime show
that slomo with the wings!!!
also everything is so slow with this show!!! idk why but everything feels just a little bit slower (or maybe i just want lucifer and chloe to be together? idk)
gwapo ni lucifer nung nagmomol sila ni Maze pls
cringe ng elevator scene
ykw. i think it’s because i like the lucifer character that’s why i’m impatient. he hasn’t been appearing the way i want him to.
see. you don’t have to remind me so much about the show because i know he was supposed to say “what is it that you truly desire” not fear. I FEEL LIKE THIS SEASON IS DUMBING THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED THE SHOW FOR SO LONG. okay sige.
either she knows it’s not him or SHE’S REALLY THAT NICE AND POWERFUL OF A HUMAN BEING.
oh i’ve been questioning whether they had sex already and this episode answered my question
CRINGE coffee scene: the spoon???
random question: are angels virgins? so is Michael a virgin?
what kind of a person would just go deep on someone else’s pocket just because they ran out of money?
knew it Maze won’t do Chloe dirty like that!
thanks Chloe. u know better than that. (full disclosure: I THOUGHT SHE WAS ACTING BADLY APPARENTLY A GOOD ACTOR CAN ACT BADLY TO PROVE A POINT?)
literally just liked it and now there’s a new secret that was said too soon.
God baka naman pwede mo ko gawing Chloe Decker char.
AH so interesting. Lucifer = Desire. Michael = Fear. Too on the nose again but that time, i needed the guidance because i am a dumbass.
God ain’t raising his children right!
ep3
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yes explain everything to me it’s literally not like we have been binging this show for 2 hours straight
see, the Lucifer character is really endearing. i’m enjoying myself again hahaha. (well, i guess Lucifer when he’s with Chloe?)
can i just say that Tom Ellis was born for that role. he fits is so well that him acting as his own twin doesn’t sit well with me.
i just feel like this show was written by a psychologist who liked watching murder shows.
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it’s Lucifer, Chloe!!! siya yon.
ep4
love Lucifer-Chloe tandem!
we love how the actors can sing and the show gives them a chance...
one thought: is everyone going to play a double of who they are?
also is Maze the daughter of Lucifer?
i love how they’re transcending mediums, reminds me of Community with their random episodes.
there you go, Chloe’s doing the double acting too.
Now it’s Linda. (so maybe this is the episode i was asking about earlier).
Now it’s Ella.
omg is this why i loved fleabag, it took forever for the Priest and Fleabag to finally do it? no. i just love the Priest.
Charlotte’s back! and the distance from the table shows how not okay they are. okay.
green screen while driving i love it.
now, Daniel!
we love gender fluidity? i guess. i’m not sure how you call it but i appreciate.
Lilith’s dress for the second song. OMG.
there again to make us dumb. after we just watched the whole thing happen, they retell the whole story again. damn. they think we dumb.
literally this season is making every girl kiss Chloe.
why did she blow the ring? was that her life?
what’s that song in the end?
OH that was the reason why she was retelling everything.
damn celestial beings are the worst parents.
ep5
i wanna be Dr. Linda Martin please.
i appreciate Lucifer wearing the bracelet until now. (but i expected nothing less)
i’ve always loved how people reacted to Amenadiel. he always seemed nerdy but these are times where he truly shine and im so happy.
i forgot.  i think i was showering that time that Michael and Lucifer fought and theyre hella dumb. ok lets go toxic masculinity mixed with daddy issues.
i know they’re too on the nose ABOUT EVERYTHING but i do like the debate about free will and predestination
honestly i don’t know what’s Chloe’s issue is with being made by God probably just because i’m lazy and i just want to lay everything in His hands but coming from a very atheistic perspective where she comes from i kinda get it. i guess my only reasoning why i’m okay with God’s reason is with her is because of my fear of the unknown; my current fear with not knowing my true purpose. at least she got hers! what is she complaining about?
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oh i get it now, but that’s why there’s free will Chloe (or idk, idk how God works; there’s currently no electricity in my house rn. i don’t get how that works even if we pay for our electricity all the time, how am I suppose to know God’s plans?)
but aren’t well created for something else? looking at a selfish perspective, maybe He created all of us just because He wanted to.
wow. literally when the nun kissed Amenadiel, the lights in our house opened up. if that ain’t God. idk who that is.
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wow that’s so interesting.
“There are no shortcuts.” 🥺
he exposed himself i’m interested. what if i were the one to whom that was exposed to... how would i react?
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another sample of them explaining to us WHAT WE ALREADY CAN INFER FROM THE SHOW (the conversation actually continues to dumb it down for the audience) but i get it. it’s religion and fiction built together.
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oh i just cringed i almost vomited with this 
also can i just share these. these are the funniest thing Chloe said on the show.
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ep6
OOF what a horrifying way to start the episode (after the beach fiasco)
they’re holding us. that’s so adorable!!!
ugh. im still cringing.
yes jowa for ella yes pls. ELLA YOU SAID YOU WANT A NICE GUY!!! HE’S THERE!!! i’ll take him if you won’t!
Chloe if you don’t want Lucifer, i’ll take him too!
can i say how proud i am of Chloe and Dan’s relationship. it’s very healthy for what they are. add Lucifer and Dan to that too! we love men.
also the women in this show have bad taste in men. (except for who Linda married, i guess)
we love the seasonal girl’s night!
that whole charlie thing being amused by lucifer’s devil face is the best bit
was it Michael calling? and oh noooo ;(
FUCKEN MICHAEL
ngl i could have waited for another season for them to have sex on season 6 episode 6 but sure have it at season 5.
ep7
we love a person who wakes up and is not pretty. princess anna who? (i mean she is wearing full on make up, but we’re okay with that snore)
Deckerstar!! they made a word for it
our mojo??? does it only work on lucifer or does it work when she does it to others as well, we shall find out.
oh no! Lucifer’s isn’t working at all HAHAHAHA
it’s currently 2:19 AM. i am tired and sleepy.
Dan talking to Charlotte 🥺🥺🥺🥺
Fucking Michael
oh he emphasized archangel Michael. with my limited knowledge being raised Catholic, i was going to ask earlier if he was an archer because he had crooked shoulders. AND I JUST CHECKED. ARCHANGEL MEANS HIGH RANKING ANGEL NOT AN ANGEL WHO’S A FUCKING ARCHER. me being raised Cathlolic means nothing. HAHAHH
now i’m realizing if i see an angel, maybe i won’t be in the situation where i’ll see Amenadiel but Michael
NO NO NO AMENADIEL
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i love this HAHAHAHAHA
knew it. called it! worked on lucifer ONLY. HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE BE THAT MADE FOR EACH OTHER. LORD BAKA NAMAN.
i’m ella shipping them.
THEYRE SPEAKING TAGALOG HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
what song was that? “When it hurts, just to breathe” same
The Shining reference no thank you pls
NAAAH i really can’t do horror things especially not with things i truly fear and when i don’t have a curtain on. No thanks.
14:54 and i’m watching again open the lights bro, it’s easier to find clues that way   also i do get that they’re closing it to ensure that the killer is not there but theyre also moving like the killer is not there anyway so better open up the lights! tho i really know nothing about crime solving (i just typed crime solving instead of solving crimes didn’t i)
we stan ella’s healthy relationship!!!
can i just say there was a time where i can’t even say serial killer out loud so this is really hard for me to watch alone
i know that he’s vulnerable around the detective. BUT SHE SAID HE CHOSE TO BE SO BY NOW HE SHOULDN’T BE AFFECTED BY WHAT HE DID.
Fucken Michael.
ep8
how attractive can you be that even in slow motion, you look great.
oh apparently he did not die.
ALSO OO NGA CHLOE. US2 MO SIYA MAMATAY TEH.
CHLOE THE OVERTHINKER but i get it. BUT STILL.
you know that montage of people just studying and it’s now happening to chloe trying to solve a crime. that’s my cinematography goal HAHAHA. it’s been awhile since i’ve been invested in studying like that.
Lucifer can be just so immature some times
is KillShare based off of SkillShare?
also i’m thinking that Chloe was either taken by Michael or Dan or the SK.
that ring of Lucifer on Maze is probably the longest ring someone has waited for.
i love Maze’s eye make up! ALL THE TIME!
if the lady here is not detective and they’re relieved. that’s just fucked up, man. they were slightly relieved. that’s good acting HAHAHAHAHA.
I’M JUST PRAYING TO GOD THAT PETE REALLY IS A GOOD GUY AND NOT THE SERIAL KILLER COZ I CAN’T HATE THAT GUY PLEASE. the key and the research!!! WTF. stop trying to be smart, show!!!
his mojo is back, does that mean Chloe is gone? 😢
OH AFTER THE TAPES, I THINK IT IS THE BOYFRIEND. DAMN SHE’S REALLY INTO BAD MEN, ISN’T SHE?
I’M SO SCARED. THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.
THE FLOWERS ARE FRIGGIN KILLING ME.
kamukha niya pa si Penn Badgley, nice.
DOES HE GENUINELY LIKE HER OR IS THE KISS TO THROW HER OFF GUARD.
AH NO. i think he genuinely likes her. except that she... you know found that he’s a fucking murderer
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HAHAHA PETE
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right??? why does this show have to say everything out loud like don’t already know.
oh he just used her but then he liked her. idk. the way he speaks too, so nonchalant.
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preach, ELLA!!!! shout out to those who had crappy childhoods and are not serial killers! that’s the bare minimum i guess.
go, Ella!!! know your worth!
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lol made me love Pete, he’s funny.
ok my assumptions were right-ish.
HAHAHA, his american accent.
his choosing to be bot vulnerable around her anymore, Michael, i think is a way of him staying alive for Chloe but ofc Chloe will think that Lucifer would rather have his vulnerability than to be with her.
baka di lang love language ni Lucifer words of affirmation, okay! HE SAVED HER LIFE SO MANY TIMES AND NOW SHE’S DOUBTING BECAUSE HE HASN’T SAID I LOVE YOU YET??? SIZ. HE LITERALLY LEFT HELL FOR YOU.
MICHAEL STOP. Michael the shit stirrer. we all have that one friend.
awa me kay Maze. she’s like a lost dog throughout the show.
does Michael want to be God?
skipped thru the speech. cringe.
what’s Amenadiel’s problem with his child having a normal cold? what’s wrong if he’s a mere mortal?
WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS SHO’W SO INSECURE. i get so annoyed every time Chloe’s mad that Lucifer doesn’t get what he wants
it’s just that i resonate with Lucifer. it’s hard for me to say i love you and now i think Amenadiel stopped time.
oh. i thought Amenadiel’s fears about Charlie being mortal was superficial, i just realized that he was afraid that his child was going to die. but, he can take him to heaven like what he did with Charlotte, right?
oh Michael.
MAZE! MICHAEL IS A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR!!!! you’re fine! i don’t have a soul either.
celestial beings and their daddy issues and inability to communicate with one another and the desire to fight it out as if that’s the solution
HOTTEST BROTHERS EVER DAMN.
itong si God ngayon lang magpapakita anuna siz.
WHY ISN’T HE PLAYED BY MORGAN FREEMAN BUT OK.
CLIFFHANGER!!! IM MAD.
ep 8 should have been called blueballz tbh
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