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survivormetaverse · 3 years

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Episode 12 - "i'm baaaaaacckkkkk 😈" ~Jodi

An iconic moment happened today and I accidentally voted my closest ally out of the game. So Brayden got sent home and he is going to hate me when he finds out what happened. I did kind of get him out on accident I did not mean for Brayden to go I wanted Jay gone but I was blindsided by Colin and Josh and Elle AND AMY!!??]£[_[3 Omg. Im really upset that hes gone i miss him so much and I dont know how Im gonna go on without his brain. I dont trust Jay but Jared and Jay were both messaging me about how they already forgive me and stuff so thats a little crazy. I think it could be fake or they are just desperate for numbers. But I am with Josh and Amy and Colin and Elle now. I want to be with their numbers. I talked to all of them individually and they said they all were sorry for lying to me and causing me to get my friend out. I know its just a game but I just feel awful and so guilty right now. This has probably been the worst day of my life. He probably will never play another org with me again and hes the only reason i play orgs its boring without him. We are best friends increal life and I hope he can forgive me. I havent said anything to him because thats breaking the rules. But when he finds out im literally so scared of what he'll say to me. I pray he will forgive me I am literally so dumb af.

i'm baaaaaacckkkkk..................... 😈

This is literally worst case right now with jodi winning the play back like throughout the day she has won back her allies including anastasia since she swapped coins with her. Elle, colin, and josh all gave me all their coins to grab immunity before the other side to protect me but also it makes me a bigger target lol plus I gave elle some swapped to get the second thing the leftover because I THOUGHT it could give us an extra vote since that was ony menu but I was tired and drunk and it was a LOT of words and it was just the hunts which I knew didn't have any and I feel terrible bc 150 tokens and my actual alliance is going to be so mad when they realize THAT I HAVE THE LAST ONES and fucked up in suggesting it at all. First they were going for info. So now I think Jodi got all the other sides tokens and they are pooling for something idek. It's literally worst case like we were set to be up 5-2 or at least 4-3 and now it looks like it's 4-4 again hahaha neat. And it looks like colin is chatting with jodi again and they are making deals lol like tbh if she gets to the end I am voting for her to win I've said it many rounds. Turns out anastasia and brayden not only know each other irl they are besties so she mad mad. And Josh looks to be making deals and thinking about flipping so I am on borrowed time but tbh I never expected to make merge. I am glad I have immunity bc I physically couldn't do the challenge anywU here lol and I fucked that up too hahahaha. Good times all around. Like I want to tell them about my steal a vote to have official numbers but now they'd just be mad hahaha literally colin and I had every advantage except jared's idol now. Ahhhh idk what to do but it remains hilarious. I'm expecting Raffy to give my info in these in the market and that is no bueno ahahahaha. I am tempted to just give colin everything bc it's funny. Also jodi talked to me until 1am just trying to guilt me into being back with her I said I have to sleep goodnight like 5 times minimum. Her social game is so good that's why I think she has them all back with her and possibly josh. The problem is that I was keeping her close bc she had the info from others and from my game. I really never had a number one lol bc I was just vibing and I guess now colin is bc I flipped with him lol and I think it's hilarious he grew his army from 0 to 5 almost.

I have a suspicion colin and anastasia have actually been closely aligned this whole time and she knew everything all along. Colin sure loves giving out info haha. And apparently deals are happening all over, none of which I have made 😂

Jodi's backkkkk, wild wild wilddddd. The challenge went poorly, darn thats like 20 minutes wasted. We bought the refresh and there was nothing there 💔 that's 150 tokens wasted 😅. But! We got Amy immunity✨ and then Colin won the challenge so tbh everything's still going great lol. Wonder how we're gonna vote this round :/ we'll see how this goes! I've stopped worrying whether I'm going completely, it either happens or it doesn't 💖 xoxo, gossip girl (this is misleading I HAVE NOT SEEN THE SHOW i just know way too much about it because i have friends that did lol)

So after I voted my showmance Brayden out of the game I was left with an interesting situation. I had cried to Josh Colin and Amy that I was alone now and that my whole alliance hated me. With Jodi back in, I dont think they believe me. I literally flipped sides so I could be in their alliance because I didnt trust Jay and Jared and Jodi. But they literally lied to me about the vote and said it was nothing personal to me but they didnt tell me the plan because they wanted to see if I was lying. Which sucks for me because I then voted Brayden out :( Now that they know that im truthful they said they would work with me now. But all of them have been pretty inactive today. I talked to Amy the most and a little Colin and a little Josh. But I wasnt in their alliance. So I asked Amy if I could be added into an alliance chat since I was apperently in their alliance now. And she said sure. And they added me to a vote block. That is not an alliance group chat btw. So I was like wow thanks. But inside I was like screw this. So before this all happened, Jodi, Jay and Jared put me in a true alliance group chat. This morning I was ready to work with Colin and Josh but not anymore. Not after they put me in a vote block chat clearly saying to me that I am just a number to be used. They don't even need my vote either because Amy has an idol and Amy and Colin are safe. So I'm obviously voting with Jay, Jared, and Jodi. And I know they probably have a final three without me. They could call it something really cool like the three J's. But I called Jay and explained everything to him. (Also Jay forgave me for literally trying to get him out. He umderstands that its a game and all of my motives about not trusting him anymore.) He said he would be a hypocrite if he didnt forgive me because he told people my name in the chaos vote. So I actually think we are cool. And I told Jay that I am his number one. Which is true. He told me a lot of things about how Amy is actually really smart and stuff (I thought that girl was just a goat that I could take to the end with me) But her and colin are tight and both immune. This is bad. Basically we will go to rocks unless Elle flips to our side. Jay is giving his pitch to Elle tommarow. And maybe I will apologize to her correctly tomarow too. ALSO SPELLING THE WORD TOMARROW IS THE HARDEST THING IN MY LIFE. Also I took 62 minutes to complete a puzzle today so thats kind of emberassing. Anyways bye everyone this was so much fun to type omg.

Lol I woke up to a text from jodi asking if anyone was taking about votes yet and I said no because I went to sleep early bc I almost passed out from heat yesterday and had just woke up and she responded "ummmm lol...." 🤣🤣🤣 Sorry I sleep. She's in Colin's dms saying how I was legit her number one and now we can't even talk about votes. Like yeah girl we worked our asses off to get you out of the game sorry I'm not happy you are back. Also I'm still at disney world so I don't have the time for a million conversations. I know I'm going to be the Russell Hanz of the f3 /if/ I make it. So what's jury management lol like she was already pissed I voted her out and I plan to do it again. Anyway it looks like it's hilariously about to be a unanimous jay vote tonight but I am thinking we throw one vote somewhere else in case of an idol. But if jodi did get anastasia back we can't do that. Anyway lol I'm immune so whatever. Elle and Colin discussed like if it's on elle (which apparently jared proposed an alliance of 5 which included myself lol!) Then we could go to rocks and have only josh as a possibility and statistically he won't go if he is willing to go to rocks that it. All this to say I'm f7 and I want to keep my extra vote to f6 if possible so I can use the idol for fun at f5.

https://youtu.be/snpKevncc44

My quest has come to an end. I joined this game to be someone who could be there for Jodi. Jodi and I played survivor subrosa together and we both had rough experiences due to a player in the game who harassed jodi and tried to convince everyone I was misogynistic. As much as I love Survivor, I didn’t play this game to win. I played this game because Jodi told me she was playing it and I wanted to be her body guard. I wanted to be someone who could be there for her both as a number but also as an enforcer, anybody who ever dared to do anything to Jodi would’ve had to have dealt with me. Tonight, Amy and Colin have immunity, and either amy or josh or elle have an idol, so there’s no point in making any noise tonight and wasting Jared’s idol. None of those 4 trust me, and I doubt any of them like me. It is what it is, it’s best for Jodi, Jared, and Anastasia’s game to move forward without me, and it’s smart for Jared to keep his idol. Tonight, I will be voted out, and I am 100% at peace with it.

Since Elle, Josh, Amy and Colin pooled their tokens for immunity and advantage refresh, it means all the advantages and disadvantages are on our side. Plan is to send Elle a disadvantage and let Colin know because honestly it’s not hard to find out anyways. Jay doesn’t mind getting booted at some point cuz he wants to stand for me on the jury, but I don’t want to boot him right now. Obviously they won’t boot Elle, so I’m going to see if Jared will propose Anastasia. The thing right now is me/Jay/Anastasia/Jared also know next round is invisible. So I want Jay or Anastasia to send Colin and Amy disadvantages because if they’re paranoid seeing me Jared/Jay/Anastasia have advantages and they have disadvantages, they might be paranoid enough to play all their idols. I also wanted to keep Jay for this round as it’d be unanimous and something everyone can settle on. Jared wanted to do me/Jared/Josh/Amy/Colin as an alliance but has concerns about the 3 of them being in top 5 in the majority snd also Colin having his ideal f3. I told him my plan has the best shot at flushing all idols and hopefully we can either get Josh to flip or at least have Amy/Colin vulnerable at 5/6. Last thing is Jared is worried he’d be blindsided this round. I told him my plan and I said even if he wanted to flush his idol this round, next round should be ok if we all vote out Jay and the rest of them flush idols. Good to be back in the game! I genuinely believe Colin wants me as a shield at least for this round, and if I can make it through, I have a game to play.

Not everyone saying they only bought an advantage lol what about those other 70 tokens 👀👀👀 Like it must be jay unless someone is lying haha i am hoping people are just busy bc these answers I'm getting from Josh and Colin are concerning 😂 It looks like only elle and got disadvantages ☠️ I am really hoping not to be a target next round even though I know I will be haha. Next round is only 7 and I'd love to take out jodi and jared before they turn on me ☠️ especially since colin creeped on jodi's insta and it is possible they know each other from sports irl. And she was so concerned about all these pregame connections 😂 and here it was likely to deflect. Anyway I just swapped my position of having jodi do all the social work with having colin do all the social work knowing full well I'm not gonna get those end votes. I'm just trying to pull up my placement average now 😂. I hope everyone sees me as having no social game to take me to the end lol bc realistically I don't bc I don't care to put in that time this game. As I write from the pirates of the caribbean line 😂 So anyway if I'm not being lied to which I might be it looks like unanimous jay tonight but also I think the other group was talking split on jay like a 3-3-2 and I'm like wait the 2 wouldn't help. Elle are you okay with that? So I think they must have figured out I have stuff ☠️ I wonder what people REALLY bought haha okay bye

Jodi is back, not just Jodi Jodi, but player Jodi. Player Jodi thinks a LOT. When I was out, the entire time I was hoping somebody caught on that Amy flipped because they knew to put a stray vote on Colin to protect him from chaos idol, but they left Josh exposed. Why? Because Colin knew Amy was going to throw a vote on Josh. Also, Colin tied with me for closest ally and that set off an alarm too. Onto the next. So Colin won immunity, Amy bought immunity, but this could possibly be good because it means they are playing knowing they are not at risk themselves. Anastasia is voting with them this round, but she's actually working with us. She told us that the actual plan on that side is: "Jay, Jared, Jodi vote elle and Elle, Amy, Colin vote Jay and Josh and Anastasia vote Jodi" Anastasia will vote me here to continue "working" with them for the next vote. Essentially, they thought that Jay had the merge idol this whole time and Colin was weary about it, and that's why he got nervous about sending out Jay last round. That told me Colin did not have the merge idol. Josh came to me too about Jay having the merge idol. But the way they're splitting the votes this round shows me now that somebody has stepped forward to mention they have it (likely Elle) because if Jay idoled, Elle goes in this split vote plan. Therefore, somebody must've been like "ok let's just be safe and split the votes, I have the other idol". That's good and bad because now Colin has no merge idol paranoia, and they're also able to use it together. It also did confirm to me they've talked about it. Here's where things get tricky. Player Jodi is so tempted to run with it and do a 4-3-1 Josh-Jay-Jodi but it's so risky and could possibly destroy the long term social game, especially if they idol for Josh and Jay goes anyway (we are not idoling for him here). So instead, I'm going to use Jay's vote out to the best of my advantage. Hopefully flush an idol if possible, maybe a steal-a-vote, something. Knowing about next round being invisible is good info for us. Having this info is so key and usually I would think that immunity for a round is bigger than this but being able to plan ahead for a GAME-CHANGING twist is crucial here. My move here is to play the game through psychological distress. I have no advantages! Since they're out of tokens from buying immunity, me/Anastasia/Jared/Jay bought advantages for ourselves and also sent out disadvantages to Colin/Amy/Elle. Seeing that not only we have advantages but also them having disadvantages, they probably still feel like things will be ok because they'll just split votes or whatever and one of them needs to win immunity. But given this is an invisible round, I think Amy is honestly paranoid enough to just play her idol, hopefully Elle does too, and then between me and Jared, we'll idol for one of us. I also plan on bluffing an advantage coming back from Jury, and say something along the lines of having to survive one round before the advantage got activated. I'm going for the win, everyone, I know that if I get to the end with anybody, I have a solid shot at winning. I just need to get there and to do that, I must play an adaptable game – more than ever. PS I am holding onto Jared's idol right now. Power (temporary) feels amazing. Dw I'm giving it back....😈

this has been the most chill round in a while. which is really weird consider JODI IS BACK AND WE BLINDSIDED BRAYDEN LAST ROUND this round is turning out to be what I WANTED last round to be. everyone is talking with everyone, people are trying to disband the sides and all intermingle. it's really interesting how no one else was on board with this until after they lost majority. seems like people don't like playing from the bottom. weird huh now these bitches know how I felt >:( anyway. jodi is back. it's weird. she knows that amy flipped now and everyone is playing very carefully my ideal boot this round was either jay or josh, in that order. so when my gay ass WON IMMUNITY I immediately put out jay's name. we already have the numbers, but I also like said my piece to jodi and jared, this is yalls chance to prove to me that you're really with me and sides don't exist. the ball is in their court do i trust them? no. am I worried? no. i have immunity, the scariest thing rn is that I think Jay is voting Elle, and if Jared and Jodi are with him then that's scary, bc Jared has an idol. The ONLY people I would play my idol for is Amy and Elle, and Elle being in trouble means I might have to play my idol on her if Jay idols himself. We have enough to split, so I'm not worried, I just hope all goes according to plan. sorry my confessional is lame. its the weekend now so i have time uwu. I'll write more the next few days

So this whole token twist thing has really annoyed me. Because of me wanting to show my loyalty to my alliance, i gave away all my coins to Amy so that she could but immunity. And against my wishes, Elle wasted her coins on the “advantage” which turned out to be a dud. I wanted to get coins together to buy game info or better yet, trade coins with other people. But i was left with nothing, while all the people on the other side used their coins to buy advantages in the next immunity challenge making it even harder for me to secure my safety. Maybe this new 2 Gays and a Jared alliance might actually pan out but im tired of getting the short end of the stick with everything.

~~~

Edgic:

Power Rankings:

Anastasia: She is in the middle of the two sides. They both need her for the rest of this game before a side is terminated. She is the most powerful because she is in the middle.

Jodi: Has regained a lot of her footing in this game. Is being used as a shield by the people who voted her out. The decision to vote out Jay is questionable, but she still has a lot of power thanks to the knowledge Anastasia and Jared feed her.

Colin: The head of the opposing side. Seems to not know what is really going on with Anastasia. But his allies are willing to take him to the end which is good. Needs to avoid falling into a Jodi pitfall.

Amy: Her rat behavior has been exposed, but her allies are still willing to defend her. Second in command on the Colin side. She is being handed these immunities.

Jared: Jodi’s new #1. Will probably make it to the end of this game. However, he isn’t calling the shots and is in danger of being targeted as an “easy” vote or being called a goat at the end. Needs to start taking fate in his own hands.

Elle: Lost a lot of footing because of not telling Anastasia the truth. This move caused Anastasia to go back to Jodi’s side which will hurt in the coming round. Is the next target for the Jodi side.

Jay: Died on the sword for Jodi. I am confused why they didn’t just stack 4 votes somewhere else, but it is whatever. Has basically given up.

Josh: Left out of a lot of discussions. Is on the outside of his alliances and from the opposing side. Is the most in danger of getting targeted or being a casualty of an idol.

#episode #episodes

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cannedapricot · 6 years

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Decorating the Christmas Tree with! Ong Seongwoo

christmas collab with @alliwannado-w1 and @jihoonslattee!!!

y’all have heard of haunted house part timer! ong seongwoo

now get ready for

shopping mall part timer! ong seongwoo!11!1!

ong never has a proper job in my aus sobdvosb

he originally applied for the job of being the mall gaurd

because in his opinion, the uniform was made for him

also he gets to kick whoever he wanted to out of the mall

cough the annoying couples cough

but he unfortunately got the job of cleaner :’’)

well,, at least he was a good looking cleaner

girls come up to him 27394 times a day asking for his number

to which he gives out fake numbers

the girls can’t even be mad when they find out it was fake

his blinding smile makes them swoon and they forget everything lol

what kind of witchcraft

is in charge of cleaning the shop windows and wiping the floor on the second storey

lowkey hates it

but it’s better than cleaning the food court :)

it doesn’t stop him from complaining to mcdonalds part timer! daniel after hours though

daniel just grimaces because,

he??? worKS??? AT MCDONALDS????? LMAO HE WOULD MUCH RATHER CLEAN THE WINDOWS

on multiple occasions niel has asked ong,

“since you hate it so much, you wanna switch? :)”

“hahHAHAHA NO THANKS”

ong gets coupons from some stores he’s in charge of and it’s basically the only reason why he hasn’t quit the job and gone broke

christmas used to be ong’s favorite holiday

but ever since he started working, christmas season is basically a nightmare

everyone’s suddenly off work and/or school

and the mall doubles in people

so more people ask for his number and more mess is made on the floor

i mean,,,, ong tries to get out of working,,,,, but he’s pretended to be sick too many times

and unless he actually faints nobody’s gonna believe him rip

also the mistletoe the mall uses makes him sneeze

“lol someone’s talking shit about you again”

“no someone’s obviously missing me”

tbfh if i found a mall that has seongwoo cleaning, daniel working at mcdonalds, jisung, jaehwan and sungwoon working at the toy shop i wouLD LIVE IN THAT MALL DONT STOP ME

for once!! you actually work with seongwoo!!!11!1 arE YOU EXCITED

but uh,,, you weren’t exactly on good terms with him

yeah sure he’s good looking whatever

but every time you see him, he’s always slacking off one way or another

AND HE’S NOT EVEN ASSIGNED TO THE FOOD COURT

and he would be flirting with the female staff and just????

you don’t understand how someone could be so shameless

ong knows that you have something against him

your glares give it away lmao

jisung from the toy store claims that’s ong’s not that bad of a guy

“y/n you’re just too focused on seeing his bad side,,,, give the guy a chance”

cue ong sliding by on the cleaning trolley

“yeeeeeaaaaah ok”

“,,,,,,,,,,,,, i sweAR HE’S BETTER THAN THIS”

sungwoon just tells you about all the shit ong’s done which makes you dislike him more????

jisung tries to stop him,,,, it doesn’t work

“ong once lead a girl on in highschool”

“suNGWOON,,,,,, THAT’S A HOAX”

ong has, on multiple occasions, tried to get closer to you

but you shut him down before he could say anything

“hey-”

“sorry i have important matters to attend to”

“oh ok :c”

seongwoo has complained to daniel 472974 times about you

and daniel’s loWKEY SICK OF HEARING ABOUT HOW YOUR GLARE CAN KILL PEOPLE

“are you sure you don’t have a crush on them”

“????crush??????psh no????”

yeah ok ong doesn’t have a crush on you yet

but he’s curious as to why you dislike him so much???

he can’t remember offending you in any way

and you seem to always have a way to escape from him whenever he slides up to you

THAT IS UNTILLLLLL

y’all get assigned to put up the humongous christmas tree

YOU GUYS THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE A CUTE DOMESTIC FIC??? HA SIKE

and you immediately come up with an excuse

but your boss isn’t having it

because,

“teamwork is important y/n!!! you can’t keep avoiding working with ong!”

BOVUBOSVBOSB

YOU JUST HOPE THAT JISUNGS RIGHT ABOUT HIM NOT BEING THAT MUCH OF AN ASS

“oh hi y/n!!!”

after hours, ong was standing in the center clearing of the mall as the tree was getting put up

it was

h u g e

“it’s gonna take us all night huh?”

he smiles

yOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HE CAN BE OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THIS

“i just hope we’re getting payed extra”

you mumble, gritting your teeth

as ong deals with the guys putting up the tree, you head to the storage

it takes a while to find the box labelled “christmas” but you eventually do

and you make the stupid decision to carry three at once

you trip because you couldn’t see anything in front of you

bUT!!!

ONG APPEARS????

lol no you trip and fall

ong appears a second later to witness your pain

anD HE LAUGHS

YOU START FUMING OUT OF ANGER AND EMBARRASSMENT

ong then picks up the boxes after his laughing fit and says,

“i’ll take care of the rest of the decorations, you go check if you’re hurt”

????why is he suddenly so nice

he’s always been nice y/n you jUST DON’T KN O W

and you suddenly feel like hm he’s not bad

bUT THEN SUNGWOON’S STORY OF ONG LEADING THAT GIRL ON FLASHES BACK INTO YOUR MIND

shuffling out of the room, your eyes meet with his

and you send him a glare

onG’S JUST

auiKUVDISVB????WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME

yOU SLAM YOUR FIST ON ONE OF THE BOXES

AND ONG FLINCHES

“let’s get to decorating the tree. the faster we do this, the sooner we’re done”

“YES SIR”

and without saying anything else, you turn and start hanging up baubles

most of the time,,,, you two were working in silence,,,,

ong would be sending you glances and trying to start convos but you’d just straight up ignore him

it gets to the point where seongwoo thinks he’s gonna burst

THE TENSION IN THE AIR WAS INSUFFERABLE

so when the parts you two could reach from the ground was covered and the ladder was set,

ong decides to find out exactly why you dislike him so much

how????? by pinning you to the ladder of course

an intellectual am i right

“??????ONG SEONGWOO WHAT ARE YOU DOING--”

“why do you hate me”

“I- WHAT- UM-”

he looks you square in the eye and you find yourself spilling

“SUNGWOON SAID YOU LEAD A GIRL ON AND THAT KINDA MADE ME THINK THAT YOURE A SHIT ASSHOLE”

“??????????THAT SNITCH I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE TOLD HIM”

“SO YOU ACTUALLY DID LEAD A GIRL ON”

“NO!!!!! THE GIRL LATCHED ONTO ME I DIDN’T DO SHIT I REJECTED HER THEN SHE TOLD THE SCHOOL ABOUT ME LEADING HER ON”

wow how petty of the girl

but thinking of it

you reasons for disliking him were quite petty too

and you just now realize how godlike his visuals were up close???

buT YOUR ASS AIN’T ABOUT TO ADMIT YOUR HEART WAS BEATING 24923 MILES A MINUTE

SO YOU DO THE MOST LOGIC THING

PUSH HIM AWAY

ong: pretends to be hurt

you: pretends to be busy

“you don’t hate me anymore right”

“wow lets not get too ahead of ourselves”

seongwoo cracks a smile

becausE WOW YOU WERE BLUSHING AND YOU LOOKED ADORABLE WHILE SO

back to the tree coughs

ong decides to climb the ladder because,

“i need to show you how manly i am”

but he’s also,

“doN’T LET GO OF THE LADDER MY LIFE IS IN YOUR HANDS”

lets go

onG SCREAMS

while hanging up the sparkly tinsel, ong finds two santa hats

he chucks one down at you while he puts one on himself

“wtf?”

“wE CAN MATCH!!!”

“...how the fuck are you in your twenties”

ong sneezes every few minutes because of the stupid tinsel

you both get heart attacks when he does

whAT IF HE FALLS DOWN

BRO YOU DONT WANNA GET CHARGED WITH MURDER OR SOME SHIT

it’s way past midnight when you’re nearly close to finished

all that was left was the star

ong pulls up your facebook profile picture and goes

“i should put you up there because you are my star”

you shake the ladder in disagreement

SEONGWOO SCREAMS AND DROPS HIS PHONE

but thankfullly it lands in a pile of soft toys at the bottom of the tree :’)

he still makes a big deal out of it though :’)

screams at you to put your number in

and keeps screaming until you do so and text yourself

just so he knows it’s your real number

after putting the actual star on top of the tree, climbs down so you guys can admire your work

“im gonna jump down”

“sure but i’m not catching you”

“how heartless :(”

so you turn off the mall’s lights and seongwoo turns on the tree’s lights

it was breathtaking

who cared if it was 5 in the morning

ong turned to look at you

he had wanted to see your reaction but your beauty catches him off gaurd

and he ends up staring at you until your head suddenly drops on his shoulder

smiling even wider, ong whispers,

“good night”

bonus: y’all wake up the next morning to your boss looking at you two like, “ah young love”

daniel, jisung, sungwoon and jaehwan come in to see you jumping away from seongwoo

and they’re like,

“what did they fuck or something”

bonus x2: ong officially asks you on a date on christmas after weeks of flirting with you

he gives you a box, claims it’s your present while inside is a selfie of him with the words, “ong seongwoo, the most attractive man on this planet is asking you on a date. feel honored.”

you still hate him

perhaps, just a little less now

i wILL NOT STOP PROMOTING MY TOY STORE WORKER! JISUNG OK LOVE MY SUNSHINE MAN

also this was written at 1am pls forgive me for shitty plot + shitty writing :’)

#wanna one #ong seongwoo #produce 101 #decorating the christmas tree with! ong seongwoo #christmas au #broduce 101 #wanna one scenarios #kpop #kpop scenarios #ong seongwoo scenarios #ong seongwoo imagines #ong seongwoo aus #wanna one imagines #wanna one aus

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literaryfaeriecorner · 3 years

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1/29/21: community, love, and... well, really nothing

link to original post

January 29th, 2021

today i was thinking about how even in the midst of really terrible shit, there's still some really amazing things that can and do happen.

i hate my job with a passion that literally no one around me can understand. back before the pandemic, teaching in the charter system that i work at gave me constant nightmares and panic attacks. i think i have mild PTSD, actually. seriously. after everything went remote, i found some degree of relief. my nightmares happen less frequently, i tend to have less panic attacks, working from home allows me more physical comfort (no one is forcing me to stand on my feet for 10 hours straight), and it's relatively easier to tweet on the job, lol. however, it's still a big point of misery for me. i feel disrespected by my superiors (i literally got cursed out the other week for a logistical mistake that wasn't even my own), my boss-boss hates me, someone leaked screenshots of an instagram post i made last summer about the state of the education system and the charter network i work for took it as some kind of personal attack and i had to answer for it (weird), and i am one of the most underpaid people in my teaching cohort. they explain this away by saying i don't "meet certain data points," and i dont do this and i neglect to do that but i do just as much work if not more than my coworkers... so. anyway, i just want to get out. i hate it. very badly. my job is one of the main causes of my depressive episodes. i'm only still there because i have rent to pay and i also don't want to leave my kids in the middle of the school year... i absolutely would if i got a new job but it would cause me a bit of agony...

anyway, even in the midst of all that negativity and depression and terribleness... i am strangely glad that i ended up there. today, after one of my most taxing classes (it's not exactly a difficult group of students to teach... i just teach them after two other back-to-back classes and by that point i'm drained and absolutely numb in the brain), two of my coworkers jumped on my zoom link to tell me about a mini scandal they happened upon yesterday.

one of my kids' parents is using her daughter's school-issued laptop to sext with some obviously-catfish internet guy behind her husband's back! they discovered this while using our school's device-monitoring program to make sure the kids weren't cheating during a practice exam. the story and screenshots and talk of next-steps were certainly all hilarious and fun and a nice reprieve from a long, tireless day of remote teaching/chasing after kids/grading terrible fucking papers/getting blamed for everything negative under the sun, but the thing i'm most grateful and feeling blessed for is... community. just sitting on a locked zoom call with two other young women talking trash, shooting the shit, gabbing, sharing scandalous information, dramatically reading corny sexts between two older people was absolutely rejuvenating. it felt like being in middle school or high school again. sitting at a table with your friends after a long morning of classes and just talking shit and hanging out and making sure that everyone was good and could make it through another afternoon of the same old tired, boring, draining, depressing shit. it felt good. and i felt grateful. i no doubt would've slipped into self-pity mode which includes scrolling twitter even though no one has anything good to say, snacking on an unholy amount of girlscout cookies, and napping for the last ten minutes of my break before going into another excruciatingly long period of teaching european history (yuck!).

the thing i hate most about the pandemic is that i am missing out on community. i miss going to bars and clubs and parties by myself and plunging into a room full of people who are also open to meeting someone new, getting into something exciting, running away from home. my favorite part of last school year was getting off of work and heading to dinner with a date, or a friend's house for drinks, or to a book signing or art and culture event. just running around nyc for as long as i could, having as much fun as i could, with as many people as i could before the clock struck 12 and i would have to get up in the morning and play the role of boring, underpaid single female middle school teacher again. now, it feels like i can never escape that role. it feels like my entire life is about being a teacher and being abused and underpaid and stupid and lame and underappreciated. i miss my communities and the identities i found within them.

that's why i was so grateful to my coworkers. for a period of 30 - 35 mins or so, i wasn't just a teacher. i was a friend, a gossip, an asshole, a bitch, a silly girl, a person. a whole person. and i hardly ever feel like a whole person anymore. the four walls of my room don't seem big enough to fit a whole person. just a teacher. just a student. just a failure. just a fuck-up.

i love love. i know they're just my coworkers but i'd be lying if i said i didn't love them. i was also thinking, today, about how people are only in our lives for seasons. and sometimes we know this. like, for example, i know that if i got a job at a new place right this moment (fingers crossed, from this blog to God's ears!!!) that i would leave and probably never hear or speak to any of my coworkers again. and i was thinking how i was ok with this. it wouldn't diminish my love for them in any way or make me feel like i need to find some way to keep them around forever... it just is what it is. i can love them and still know that we aren't meant to be together for too long. we got each other through this hellhole of a job without killing ourselves and that's enough for a lifetime, to be honest.

i was supposed to write all these thoughts way earlier but He messaged me on instagram. He replied to a post of mine talking about WandaVision and apologizing for not texting back last saturday... since this is my blog and im basically anonymous, i'm not ashamed to say that seeing his name pop up on my phone is enough to send me over the moon... especially when it's unexpected and unprompted... he's such a bozo though and i basically let him know... i am a big believer in honesty and eagerness but sometimes a little cool is needed. i brushed off his apology and let him know he was sorry as fuck all the time and then congratulated him on being the kind of person who gets to say "i was just overwhelmed because the judge fucked us over and now i'm working until midnight for the next week." that's probably weird but what can be better than having a job that you like, doing something that you love and that is DEFINITELY helping your career... that's more than what some people have... (i am some people, unfortunately, but i'm looking at getting out of being such a fucking loser)

umm.. it's 1AM now and i have another long, tireless day of being a fucking superhuman aka teacher tomorrow so i'm going to go to bed but i feel like i didn't blog right because i didn't have a clear beginning, middle, end and proper sign off and i know i'm being silly and blogs don't always have to be like that but that's how i feel... but i have to go so that's how it's gonna have to be. i just wanted to write my thoughts down and update my blog because i'm trying to keep my promises to myself in 2021. if i don't keep promises to myself... how will i get anything done?

also He just messaged me back again :) and i have to stare at the message for AT LEAST 30 mins before i can settle into sleep mode.

until next time.

#on love #on community #on teaching #crushes #stream of conscious

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