#i am praying for all the families that have been affected by this ugly preventable tragedy

[softcherubhips]

I need to vent. I'm aware this will probably cause some controversy. Please know that I am open to any and all interpretation and constructive criticism so please feel free to message me with ANY questions or concerns you have! I mean it when I say that I am here for you, even if you just need a shoulder to cry on or another human to vent to.

Here are some facts that I know to be true. I am white. I am an American citizen. I am a mother. I am a grandmother. I am a person who has lost someone who died from cancer. I am a recovering drug addict. I am a wife. I am bisexual. I am a Christian. I like to think of myself as a realist. I realize that white privilege exists. Do I claim to be knowledgeable of all things controversial? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Do I want to educate myself and try to learn all that I can about said controversies? ABSOLUTLEY YES!

I saw a post earlier that said, "can y'all stop reblogging those “i am not black, but i see you” post like im begging...." I consider myself to be an ally of many people and many causes including Black Lives Matter. As I stated earlier, I am white, which obviously means I'm not black. Does that mean I cannot get behind the Black Lives Matter cause? If this is the case then logically it would make sense for me to say hey you can't support ovarian cancer awareness because your mom didn't die from ovarian cancer. Right?

Listen, I know what it feels like to be in a minority. NOT in the black minority, but a minority nonetheless. I grew up on the Flathead Indian Reservation. There were 6 other white people in my high school and 2 of them were my brothers. I don't say this to gain sympathy or in any way compare it to being in a black minority. I am just saying that I had many friends that were kind to me and supported me even though we were of a different race. It's hard to be in a minority. It's very comforting when you are a minority to know that someone else supports you and cares about you despite your differences, your skin color, your customs or beliefs, your heritage and your history.

We all belong to the human race. In my heart of hearts I feel like I would categorize myself as an introvert. I often make up excuses and cancel plans so I don't have to interact with other people. I hate this about myself and it's something I am continually working on. Because I tend to isolate and use various "crutches" to escape and numb out (pills, fan fiction, food, sleep, books, movies/tv shows etc.,), it's nice to know that someone else has your back and sees you and wants to help you. It's comforting to have a cheerleader; someone who cheers you on from the sidelines and believes in you, your dreams, aspirations and potential. It's healthy and normal for us as humans to crave interaction, kindness, attention, validation, support and love.

You don't know if I have two first cousins who are married to black people and have black children who I have personally reached out to by phone and verbally voiced my support. (I do and I have.) You don't know if I have donated money to several different Black Lives Matter causes. (I have.) You don't know if I volunteered my time one Saturday afternoon at The Navajo Nation food bank in Salt Lake City. (I did.) You don't know if I own a hijab that I can wear when I visit the local Muslim Temple with my friend. (I do.) You don't know if I actively vocalize my belief that children DO NOT belong on motorcycle or ATVS; no exceptions. (I do.) *This one gets my blood boiling. I held my best friend in my arms as her 2 year old son lie dead in a little blue coffin because his father thought it would be fun to take him on a ride on his motorcycle around the block. I will not make any exceptions to this. It's not cute. It's not safe. It's not fun. Don't do it.*

You're a Catholic? GREAT! I'll quit eating candy for 40 days with you to make Lent a little less lonely. You're a Muslim? AWESOME! I'll cover your shift while you go do salat. You're a native from India? SUPER! I won't eat beef in front you because I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable. You're a Jew? FANTASTIC! I'll help you make challah for Rosh Hashanah. You're a Native American? AMAZING! Please let me vocally support Indigenous People's Day instead of Columbus Day. You're a recovering/ active addict? REMARKABLE! Me too! Please tell me if I say or do anything that triggers you.

Do you understand what I am trying to say? We are all members of the human race. No one wants to be alone in this journey called life. It's nice to have someone there in your corner, cheering you on, whether they are quiet about it or choose to shout it from the rooftops. Call me naive, but I believe that we can COEXIST.

It all boils down to the first and great commandment....LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Even if you don't believe in God, I think we can all get behind this mantra. Just be a good human. Treat people with kindness. Choose love. Be nice to nice. Don't stand idly by while a fellow member of the human race is suffering. Do something. Say something. Stand for something. Educate yourself.

In conclusion, I will support you. Unless it is something inherently evil that you actively and vocally support, ie: nazis, white supremacy, homicide, rape, child pornography, domestic violence, etc., I will be there. In whatever capacity is comfortable for you, I will be there.

Take care my fellow humans. In my heart of hearts I choose to believe that Good will ALWAYS conquer Evil.

#i hope i was able to convey my feelings without offending anyone #although deep down i know people will always find offense in many things if it doesn't line up with their core beliefs #i am praying for all the families that have been affected by this ugly preventable tragedy #blm #may god have mercy on us all #george floyd #tpwk #eat the apple #let it burn #speak your truth #validate and accept #show respect #stand and deliver #lead me guide me walk beside me #help me find the way #speak up. speak out. speak your truth. #say my name #coexist #life's a dance #tread lightly #be gentle and humble and aware and polite and selfless and compassionate and kind and respectful and empathetic #just be a good human and do what you can in regards to your own individual situation #thank you for listening to my sincere and heartfelt opinion #✌🤟🙏🥰😘😇 #if you are a person who prays i encourage you to pray for a resolution to the tragic and unfortunate circumstances that are affecting us all #i love you. i see you. i stand with you. #i bless it #all the love - liesl/lou/luna 💝 #you can make a difference

[fromthefriars]

Dear Brian,

Your last letter affected me greatly.  I am sorry to hear of your recent struggles with anxiety and how paralyzing it is for you at times.  To say that this is a heavy cross would be an understatement!  Of all the things you have shared with me over the years, this seems to be the most challenging and difficult cross you have had to carry.  Let me begin by expressing how sorry I am that you are going through this!  Needless to say, I will continue to pray for you, especially as you attempt to navigate through this dark cloud.  

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately in this situation, anxiety is something I have known firsthand.  When I was a teenager I struggled a lot with anxiety for several years.  At times it was so paralyzing that I honestly didn’t know how I would make it through the day.  For me, the root cause of anxiety was a deep feeling of inadequacy before life.  I felt incompetent before everything, whether it was school, sports, or deciding what to do with my future.  Since I believed that I couldn’t do anything, I became anxious before life.  Thankfully, I can honestly say that the weight of this cross has been lifted a bit, yet at times it still rears its ugly head.  

What I would like to share with you in this letter are merely some thoughts about developing a “spirituality towards anxiety.”  I am not a psychologist and have very little training in psychology, therefore I am unqualified to speak to you as a psychologist or counselor.  Without denying the importance of psychology and the other social sciences, I can only speak to you Brian as a fellow disciple and one who has struggled in this area as well.  With this in mind, let me begin.

Jesus tells us in the Gospel, “Do not be anxious about your life…Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life”(Matthew 6:25-26).  These powerful words of Jesus have both challenged me and consoled me over the years.  It is important to recognize that Jesus is not telling us to ignore our life, or that our feelings, sufferings and trials are irrelevant.  Rather, Jesus is reminding each one of us that, despite what we may experience in life, we are known, loved, and being held in the Father’s arms every moment of our life.

Your first reaction to this may be one of disbelief.  “Every moment of my life I am being held in the Father’s arms?  What about this situation, or this painful memory, or this circumstance, you may ask?  Where was God then?”  These are good and honest questions that one must ask.  However, they require not merely human reasoning and analysis, but deep prayer and reflection.  Yet before we even begin to ask such questions we must remember an essential characteristic about God: His greatest answers to our questions often comes not through his words, but through his presence.

The Crucifixion of Jesus reveals this most profoundly I believe.  On the cross, Jesus experiences in his own humanity, our feelings of being abandoned and forgotten by God.  His cry, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Mk 15:34) has been echoed throughout history by countless people who have suffered, causing many to lose faith in a God who knows us, loves us, and sustains us every moment of our life.  Yet, what does the crucifixion reveal to us:  not the absence of God, but the overwhelming presence of God!  Do we not believe that on Good Friday, the  most dreadful day in human history, that God the Father was present shining his light, love and mercy through such apparent darkness?  Salvation, much to our astonishment, does not come when everything and everyone is perfect, but when everything, quite honestly, is at its worst!    

The point I am attempting to make is simply this: there is more to reality than what we can see or feel.  Whether we are struggling with anxiety, addiction, loneliness, etc, it would be wrong to interrupt these challenging circumstances as proof of God’s absence.  St. Paul tells us, “Rejoice in the Lord always…and “have no anxiety about anything” (Philippians 4:4-6).  St Paul, as you know, was a man who had much to be anxious about.  However, like Jesus, he is not telling us to ignore our anxiety or that it doesn’t really exist,  but rather he is reminding us that there is more beyond it.  What ultimately is beyond our anxiety?  The presence of God who, though we cannot always perceive it, is loving us and sustaining us every moment of our existence.  

One of the reasons  this is so difficult for us is because we tend to believe the stories anxiety (or any struggle we are dealing with) would like us to believe.  For example, because of your recent struggles with anxiety you are now questioning God’s love for you, the validity of your prayer life, and whether or not you should even go on retreat next month.  Where do these thoughts come from?  Doubting God’s love, your relationship with him and the opportunity for greater intimacy through a week-long retreat cannot be the voice of God.  Each one of these thoughts contradicts exactly what Jesus says!   They are the result, not of listening to God’s word, but of listening to the lies that anxiety would like you to believe.  

What each one of us needs to do is stop drawing conclusions based primarily from our thoughts and feelings, especially when our thoughts and feelings do not coincide with the reality that Jesus reveals.  We automatically assume that if we are thinking or feeling something, it must be true.  However, in your case each one of your thoughts and feelings has led to a false conclusion.  Why?  Because anxiety has tricked you to believe that you are anxiety.  What Jesus reveals about you is that you are a child of God first and foremost, who merely struggles with anxiety.    

We must not, of course, repress or ignore our thoughts and feelings, however we cannot give them the authority and power to tell us who we are.  It is one thing to say, ‘I feel anxious or I feel inadequate,” and quite another to say, “I am anxious, or I am inadequate.”  Unfortunately, I have spent many years living as the person anxiety has told me I am as opposed to the person Jesus has told me I am.  Despite my own poverty and sins and all the trials and struggles I have faced in my life; the Lord continually reminds that I am none of these things.  When I ask him who I am, his response is always the same, “Jeremiah, you are my son.”  I pray that God will continue to remind you of the same!      

You have asked me if I think you need counseling.  A general rule I was always told is that one should seek counseling when a particular issue is preventing them from fully participating in life, whether that occurs in one’s work, family or relationships.  Personally, I am convinced that most people, at some point in their life, could benefit from counseling.  There are many ways to encounter God’s grace and counseling has proven to be an avenue of grace for many people.  If you do decide to seek it out, it is nothing to be ashamed of.  Rather, your courage and determination to confront this issue is a sign that you are one step closer to freedom.   In the meantime, be assured of my prayers for you.

Sincerely in Christ,

Fr. Jeremiah

________________

If you would like to read more from Fr. Jeremiah, please check out his new book Amid Passing Things.

https://www.amazon.com/Amid-Passing-Things-Prayer-Relationship/dp/1640602208/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1DJJJKA2U8R61&keywords=amid+passing+things&qid=1573600584&sprefix=amid+pass%2Caps%2C257&sr=8-1

[dailykhaleej]

Coronavirus: The trials and triumphs of UAE residents

Trials and triumphs of the COVID-19 fight Picture Credit score: DailyKhaleej

Dubai: The first case of coronavirus within the UAE was introduced on January 29, 2020. That’s round three-and-a-half months in the past. Time flies, you’d ordinarily be inclined to assume. However these are extraordinary instances.

Ever for the reason that beastly virus unfold its ugly tentacles, every little thing we’ve been pondering, saying or doing has revolved round COVID-19. However past the final fatigue that we’re all starting to really feel, there isn’t a denying that life as we all know it – why, even dying – has modified eternally.

Prayers being carried out for Jeuel G. Jomay in Kerala. The ceremony was watched by his household right here within the UAE on Fb.

Gasping sufferers gone with no goodbye; relations watching funerals of family members on Fb; contaminated {couples} having to depart younger kids within the care of others; tables turning on docs and nurses … COVID’s attempting tales are heart-wrenching.

However the unimaginable trauma however, there are those that are counting their blessings too, whether or not it’s a brand new mum beating the virus together with her just-born; a affected person coming off the ventilator after 20 days; or the UAE’s well being care group clocking file testing charges and its researchers reaching a remedy breakthrough.

A have a look at the trials, tribulations and triumphs of UAE residents for the reason that COVID-19 fight started:

The final trial

It’s dangerous sufficient to lose a cherished one, however not with the ability to bid goodbye takes away even the sense of closure.

THE WAY IT IS

World protocols on heath security, hygiene and social distancing stipulate that coronavirus sufferers should get handled in isolation, and even depart alone.

World protocols on heath security, hygiene and social distancing stipulate that coronavirus sufferers should get handled in isolation, and even depart alone, so one has no selection however to let go.

When Bangladeshi expat Tofail Alam, 51, handed away in Abu Dhabi final week, his spouse Nausheen advised DailyKhaleej her husband went to see a physician at a hospital in March as a result of he had a foul chilly.

Tofail Alam

“But he was admitted the same day and transferred to a public hospital for treatment. We lost the pillar of our family to the coronavirus pandemic. It is so devastating that I simply have no words.”

A pal who tried to contact Alam in hospital stated, “The calls never went through. So all I could do was ask the nurses about his condition.” Someplace alongside the road, he learnt that the daddy of two was no extra.

Funeral on Fb

Even in non-coronavirus instances, flight suspensions in latest instances have meant that some residents haven’t been in a position to attend funerals of family members in different nations.

Amongst them: A Keralite household within the UAE who watched the funeral of their cancer-stricken son Jeuel G. Jomay, a Grade 10 pupil at a Sharjah college, on Fb on April 16. They might not accompany his physique when it was flown to native Kerala beneath lockdown.

One from the album: A household image with Jeuel Picture Credit score: Provided

Jeuel’s funeral ceremony again dwelling started at 4am within the UAE. His cousin advised DailyKhaleej her household and Jeuel’s household watched the five-hour ceremony on Fb whereas the St Mary’s Church in Sharjah supplied a hyperlink to the YouTube livestreaming on its web site for members right here to look at the service.

“None of the flights was getting sanctioned soon. Jeuel’s father wanted to fly with him. But that was not possible,” the cousin advised DailyKhaleej on the time.

Equally, on April 17, Dubai-based Pakistani expat Ghulam Mustafa Awan watched the funeral of his father Malik Nazir Ahmad on video. Ahmad had died of a coronary heart and lung situation.

“I tried everything, but I couldn’t go and see the face of my father one last time,” stated Awan.

I attempted every little thing, however I couldn’t go and see the face of my father one final time.

– Ghulam Mustafa Awan

In each instances, COVID-19-related restrictions prevented their journey.

Double whammy

Telling a younger COVID-19 mom of three that her husband, additionally a coronavirus affected person, has handed on can on no account be simple.

However that’s exactly what Dr Samara Khatib, Marketing consultant Household Drugs and workforce lead on the COVID-19 ward at Mediclinic Parkview Hospital in Dubai, was tasked to do lately.

“We had to take the help of mental health professionals to break the tragic news to the patient, who is in her 30s,” stated the American physician of Syrian origin. “It shook us as healthcare workers.”

We needed to take the assistance of psychological well being professionals to interrupt the tragic information (that her husband had died) to the affected person, who’s in her 30s.

– Dr Samara Khatib

Coronavirus has struck different {couples} too within the UAE, which has meant they’ve needed to depart their kids within the care of others.

Dubai-based Suman Manning, who examined optimistic alongside together with her triathlete husband Shane Manning, stated her sister took care of her triplets throughout the ordeal. Though she confirmed no signs, she needed to isolate herself and inform her children and sister to avoid her, whereas her husband was recovering in hospital.

Suman and Shane Manning Picture Credit score: Provided

“It was a particularly trying time as the kids had just started the first week of remote learning and needed some kind of support,” she advised DailyKhaleej earlier.

‘We’re not invincible’

Engaged on the frontlines within the face of an invisible and yet-to-be-conquered virus, docs and nurses are in all probability on the highest danger of contracting COVID-19. Ask Reem Yousef, who works as an emergency nurse supervisor on the Emirates Specialty Hospital in Dubai.

It’s actually arduous. I’m actually carrying my coronary heart on my sleeve for my baby, Relle.

– Reem Yousef

 “The Lebanese mum, who is still breastfeeding her nine-month-old baby, told DailyKhaleej: “It is really hard. I am literally wearing my heart on my sleeve for my little one, Relle. Yes, there is fear of contracting COVID-19 as we work 12-15 hours a day for five days. We try our best to manage. When I go back home, I take utmost care to completely sterilise myself before I hold my baby in my arms again.”

Reem Yousef with nine-month-old Relle Picture Credit score: Provided

Dr Khatib stated she checks herself for the virus not less than as soon as a month. “I am also very particular about hygiene. It’s almost as if I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). There is no respite on the front line and when we see our own colleagues falling prey to the virus, we feel emotionally distraught. It makes us realise we are not invincible. But we have a responsibility to stay safe and healthy as we can pass on the virus to other patients or our families back home.”

Regardless of the very best efforts although, the tables do get turned typically. And when that occurs, the resolve to fight coronavirus solely will get stronger.

As a physician duo at Zulekha Hospital Dubai, Dr Nishath Ahmed Liyakat and Dr Unni Nair, who’ve recovered from COVID-19 testify, there was no manner the virus would have held them again from doing their responsibility as soon as that they had obtained the remedy and accomplished their quarantine.

Dr Nishath Ahmed Liyakat, left, and Dr Unni Nair Picture Credit score: Provided

Victor and the virus

Sure, the dismal well being disaster surrounding us does have its share of excellent news. Because the official tracker posts new instances day-after-day, there are appreciable recoveries too, with every corona warrior, irrespective of whether or not they’re a light or essential case, rising as an emphatic victor in opposition to the virus.

Communicate to sufferers who’ve turned the blind nook, and their phrases encourage you. Whereas some will let you know coronavirus isn’t a “death sentence”, others will say they don’t want their “hellish experience” even on their worst enemies.

I prayed arduous to God and positioned my belief within the medical workforce. Now, I’m getting higher day-after-day and can solely bear in mind these weeks on the ventilator prefer it was yesterday.

– Wilfredo

Both manner, there isn’t a bitterness and no taking away from the large sense of aid and gratitude on the highway to restoration.

“I hardly had any symptoms and it never felt like a death sentence. But now that I have completed my quarantine, I thank God it’s over,” stated one younger Indian lady who didn’t need to be named.

Wilfredo Picture Credit score: Virendra Saklani/DailyKhaleej

Wilfredo, a Filipino expat, who got here out of the ventilator after 20 days at Al Zahra Hospital, Sharjah, stated, “I prayed hard to God and placed my trust in the medical team. Now, I’m getting better every day and can only remember those weeks on the ventilator like it was yesterday.”

In Abu Dhabi, Raneen Abu Zaher, a Palestinian homemaker, and her new child son, Jad, who additionally beat coronavirus, encourage hope.

Child Jad Picture Credit score: Provided

The duo had been identified with the an infection when Jad was only a day previous. However two weeks later, once they bought the all-clear, the mom of three advised DailyKhaleej, “I tried to hold on to my faith, and prayed for my entire family.”

‘UAE will not let you down’

If there’s one factor any affected person within the UAE will vouch for, it’s the truth that they may not have been in higher arms. Whether or not it’s Liu Yujia, a 73-year-old customer from Wuhan, China, who was the primary affected person to have totally recovered within the UAE or Aubrey Escano, 27, a Filipina from Abu Dhabi who’s at present beneath quarantine, there was solely reward and gratefulness for the UAE for the style wherein coronavirus instances are dealt with.

One of the primary coronavirus sufferers to get well within the UAE Picture Credit score: Provided

Escano in her message stated, “I would like to tell COVID-19 patients not to lose hope, not to worry and continue the fight because the UAE will not let them down.”

The exemplary affected person care aside, the UAE has additionally hit worldwide headlines for finishing up a file quantity of laboratory checks for coronavirus. Based on the Ministry of Well being and Prevention, the UAE leads international coronavirus testing with 1.5 million checks performed for the reason that starting of the outbreak. The UAE each day testing common equals a four-month common of COVID-19 testing in different nations.

I wish to inform COVID-19 sufferers to not lose hope, to not fear and proceed the combat as a result of the UAE is not going to allow them to down.

– Aubrey Escano

Addressing a UAE Authorities distant assembly right now, Minister of Well being and Prevention Abdul Rahman Bin Mohammed Al Owais stated, “The UAE’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic is unique and different from other countries. The UAE has shown exceptional management of the crisis, whilst leveraging other countries’ experiences. However, the level of response was different, given the demographic composition in the country, which is home to more than 200 nationalities, and its distinct resources, readiness and experiences in many sectors.”

On Might 1, docs and researchers on the Abu Dhabi Stem Cell Centre additionally achieved a significant breakthrough with a promising stem cell remedy for COVID-19 sufferers.

The analysis workforce on the Abu Dhabi Stem Cell Centre Picture Credit score: WAM

The Ministry of Economic system even granted a patent for the event of the revolutionary methodology, which was administered to 73 COVID-19 sufferers, all of whom had been cured of the virus utilizing stem cells.

Researchers, who’ve accomplished the preliminary section of scientific trials, at the moment are engaged on demonstrating the efficacy of the remedy.

Now that’s no imply achievement, by any measure.

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[chemorygunko]

When you manifest consciously (Law of Attraction), it DESTROYS YOUR FUTURE ABILITY to manifest and perform miracles.

When you manifest consciously (Law of Attraction), it DESTROYS YOUR FUTURE ABILITY to manifest and perform miracles.

MUST READ PIECE - EGO, MANIFESTATION, WHAT THE SHIFT IS

The Missing Piece of the Ego Puzzle

Ego, Manifestation, Law of Attraction, and getting what you desire in terms of results - also covering The Secret and Law of Attraction conflicts and lies

***Also this explains a big part of how THE SHIFT works and what it is***

Hahahaha…. these few lines above are the sales points for why you HAVE TO read this! Read this - it’s a big piece of the puzzle. I never say stuff like that ;) This one is really important.

So we’ve been on this discussion for a while, trying to find the answers.

And this is a big piece of the puzzle - so read to the end. I’ve kept it concise as possible - we’ll unpack detail in comments and future posts.

Most of us have identified the link between manifestation and serving God - that manifestation is a misuse of the power we’ve been given and it makes us uncomfortable to do.

This is why spiritual people battle with money - we don’t like manifesting money, it makes us uncomfortable and it feels like a waste of our time and energy.

It also feels wrong to use God as your servant, which comes down to the statement:

Free will means that God serves you by default, because he must honor your free will above all else, or you serve God in every second by handing over all your free will to him.

So, you serve God or God serves you.

But there’s a second part to this that I didn’t see as a pattern until now….

And then yesterday I saw this in A Course in Miracles (ACIM) Urtext:

"Miracles are habits and should be involuntary. They should not be under conscious control. Consciously selected miracles are usually misguided and this will make the talent useless."

Before editing, in the original notes, the sentence ORIGINALLY read:

"Miracles are habits and should be involuntary. They should not be under conscious control, OTHERWISE THEY MAY BECOME UNDEMOCRATIC. Consciously selected miracles are usually DANGEROUS and this will DESTROY the talent.”

So in a nutshell, the answer to all this is…

God is using ego to let people hang themselves and destroy themselves.

When God made the covenant (rainbow - this is why we use this symbol) with Noah after the flood, he made the promise not to destroy mankind with WATER again.

Instead however, if he does destroy the Earth again - it will be with fire.

Ego is fire.

Prometheus was punished for giving fire to man - in other words Prometheus gave man free will and ego.

Prometheus was responsible for distributing the gifts to the animals, and gave man the ability to walk upright, but he liked man, so wanted to give him more. So he stole fire (free will and ego) from the Gods and gave to to mankind.

As part of his punishment, Prometheus was ordered to marry Pandora - in fact Zeus created Pandora and the box as punishment. So all the horrors we know were released into the world, and hope was left hidden in the box.

You could think of the Lightworker mission as the final HOPE being released from the box by the Gods - we are the hope.

(Side note: for those of you who are shocked I’m using Greek mythology; note I work across ALL THE RELIGIONS - I just enjoy the Judaic religions more. My purpose is to see where all of them are just repeats of the same story playing out - to see where they’re all connected and are just one long flow of information, interpreted and recorded by the people of the time. I honor the Greek Gods as much as I do any others. Oh I can see the shocked faces now lol. We call this…. SPANNER TIME! Hahaha!)

So anyway lol…. in practical terms, what happened was that about 15/20 years ago, God allowed the Law of Attraction and manifestation info (which is pure Kabbalah by the way), to be released into mainstream, with the spate of ego riddled, money-driven, greedy, 3D spiritual teaches we’ve been subjected to. (There - I said it out loud lol.)

We got books like The Secret and teachers like Esther and Jerry Hicks, with Abraham.

And while the info was good and honest, and really does work, it was also money and greed focused, 3D focused, and left the world with a few really shitty belief systems:

Your personal happiness matters more than anything. God wants you to do nothing but be happy. You can order God around like a servant, because God WANTS to serve you. The only effort you have to put in is to focus your mind. Anyone can do this. If you can’t do this it’s because you’re useless - this is natural and easy to do.

And it is a natural and easy to do process - because miracles are our default habit and way of being. Miracles are a natural and involuntary habit, especially when you are utilizing them properly.

"Miracles are habits and should be involuntary. They should not be under conscious control, OTHERWISE THEY MAY BECOME UNDEMOCRATIC. Consciously selected miracles are usually DANGEROUS and this will DESTROY the talent."

When you’re manifesting and using Law of Attraction, you are CONSCIOUSLY CONTROLLING the miracle. You’re saying: the miracle must appear by this time, in this place, in this form.

And when you do this, it does become undemocratic - because it doesn’t aim to serve everyone in the situation, ONLY what your EGO desires - which usually doesn’t stop to consider the people around you.

So this is how we’re creating so much bad luck: these energies follow the easiest available path; so if your dad always gave you money, Dad will appear with money, for example.

But if the easiest route is to cause a car crash so that you get an insurance payout, then the energy will follow that path…. because you did not put in place the checks and balances that were needed in order to ensure that others around you would be protected and kept safe.

So you forgot to protect your partner, family, kids, parents, lover…. and then they had a car accident. And even though you got the money you demanded - you’re sitting there crying about how unfair God is.

No God is very fair, and usually when God directs miracles, he does so by making sure everybody is protected and their BEST interests are served - not their ego desires. In other words, DEMOCRATIC miracles.

How do I know this for sure? The years I spent studying Wicca (Witchcraft). The old religions, like Wicca, all have some sort of line you say to ensure it’s kept DEMOCRATIC. In Wicca, that is: FOR THE GOOD OF ALL, AND TO THE HARM OF NONE.

Godwilling. If it’s God’s will. Today I make no decisions for myself, I ask only for the day God would have me have. If you would have me do it, I will do it. If you will not have me do it, I will not do it. Help me to perform whatever miracles you would have of me today.

This is why it matters that God is in charge of directing what happens - why you have to surrender your free will in every single moment: we can’t see this big picture - we don’t have enough information to make sure that our choices when directing miracles (manifesting with the Law of Attraction) are kept DEMOCRATIC.

We can glimpse a pattern like this and understand why it’s important that we submit ourselves to that will and let God take the wheel, but we can’t see the picture that God is seeing, how this affects each and every individual soul. We WILL NEVER have the capacity for that.

So the single best thing we can do right now, to make the biggest energetic change to the shift is changing the views of manifestation out there in public.

First, stop manifesting ANYTHING. Instead, pray and trust. “Give us this day our daily bread…” Simply praying the Lord’s Prayer will cover your MANIFESTATION NEEDS (sic).

Secondly, speak out openly against manifestation. Start spreading the word.

Thirdly, hand over to God and let God take control.

SURRENDER PRAYER

Holy Spirit/God/Source/Universe/Buddha/Insert preference here …

I don’t know how to do this, and for as long as I am in human form, I have limitations that will always prevent me from knowing fully how to do this. But I trust you, and I know that you will help me.

Holy Spirit/God/Source/Universe/Buddha/Insert preference here …

I give you this ego identification of the thought of ego, of needing to manifest. I don’t know how to choose correctly for this, and so I ask you to choose for me.

MORNING PRAYER

Holy Spirit/God/Source/Universe/Buddha/Insert preference here …

Today I make no decisions for myself. I ask only for the day that God would have me have. If you will have me do it, I will do it. If you will not have me do it, I will not do it. I give this day to God.

HOW IT WORKS IN A NUTSHELL

So basically, God released fire (ego knowledge through manifestation and Law of Attraction) into the world to see if the world would save itself or destroy itself.

He sent fire, but we’re choosing if we live or die in other words.

Books like The Secret, manifestation and Law of Attraction teachings (fire) have greatly accelerated spiritual growth (the ego journey is the spiritual journey), but they are creating the circumstances of our world - the ugliness in the world -  because the application of this power is undemocratic (used for individual ego needs in other words).

This is leading to terrible tragedies and disasters and ugliness.

The way out of it is to stop creating miracles consciously and give all the miracle power back to God - and then get out there and tell people what is happening to them and why their lives are falling apart.

And there’s one more point here that we didn’t really cover above…. "Consciously selected miracles are usually DANGEROUS and this will DESTROY the talent.”

Or make the talent useless…. recognize that?

There’s a NATURAL LAW (i.e. it cannot be changed) in the MORPHIC FIELD of Earth that SWITCHES OFF (destroys/makes useless) the ability to perform miracles when they are consciously directed.

This is why you suddenly can’t manifest anymore - and it’s what’s happening to people around the world. This is why everything is suddenly falling apart.

And this is the mechanism on the ego journey that forces you to face God, and choose for God eventually. It’s the failsafe.

Stop manifesting, and tell everyone around you to do the same. Give the controls back to God.

And when God sends a message - act immediately.

Giving control to God does NOT mean make God do all the work - it means become a willing servant that acts when you’re told to.

He will tell you what he needs you to do and when. Just like he sent this and every other post to me.

God can do this - all you need to do is live your faith to make it happen.

This is the fastest way.

Oh and by the way, this is on the VERY FIRST page of ACIM Urtext, the text portion. Talk about being in front of our faces the whole time!

Enormous thanks goes to my daughter for spotting this one.

I love you fellow light being xo

#manifestation #manifesting #manifestdestiny #manifestyourdestiny #lightworkers #lightworker #lightwarrior #Lightwarriors

[christsbride]

COVID-19 and Closing Churches

With the spread of the flu-like Covid-19 virus, government orders to close, and the community in fear of getting sick; at what point should a church close its doors and temporarily end meeting?  To get clear guidance, we must seek God's Word, and not our feelings or thoughts from our fragile emotional state.  What did Jesus and The Apostles do?  What did the early church do?  What does Holy Scripture say?

What Did Jesus Do Around Sickness?

John 4:46-53 is interesting, not only is it a sickness healing, but Jesus brings up a interesting point.

46 Then He went again to Cana of Galilee, where He had turned the water into wine. There was a certain royal official whose son was ill at Capernaum. 47 When this man heard that Jesus had come from Judea into Galilee, he went to Him and pleaded with Him to come down and heal his son, for he was about to die. 48 Jesus told him, “Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will not believe.” 49 “Sir,” the official said to Him, “come down before my boy dies!” 50 “Go,” Jesus told him, “your son will live.” The man believed what Jesus said to him and departed. 51 While he was still going down, his slaves met him saying that his boy was alive. 52 He asked them at what time he got better. “Yesterday at seven in the morning the fever left him,” they answered. 53 The father realized this was the very hour at which Jesus had told him, “Your son will live.” Then he himself believed, along with his whole household.

Now, it doesn't say WHAT the boy was sick with except the fact he was sick and was going to die.  There is something interesting to note.  Jesus didn't travel to the sick boy's house.  Instead, healed the boy from the a distance.  Right here, some people may use this as an example was to why self-isolation is acceptable for the church because God heals from a distance.  BUT, that is a failure to see the REAL reason for this sort of RARE "distance" healing.  Verse 51 would be completely irrelevant.  That's the point.  The time and distance PROVES Jesus has divine healing powers.  THAT's the point.  Not the distance.  So, this is actually a poor example for self-isolation and God's healing of the COVID-19.  Now, there was a very important point to be made, by Jesus.  Jesus REBUKES the people, including the royal official.  He literally says "you people," referring to the crowds that follow him to see what he does and don't really ponder what he says.  He generally rebukes them for not believing in HIM as the living WORD and trusting the WORDS that he says as coming from God himself.  Instead, these doubters need to see miracles for themselves in order to give some sort of self satisfying credence to his words.  There is a natural thing inside humans that if it tickles our senses, it feels more satisfyingly credible.  This is also true for fellowship.  If you meet people in person, or see people in person, and hear a pastor speak in person, and sing your favorite worship song in person; how much greater of the a feeling do you have than if you just watched it online.  There is a natural and massive difference.  Keep that in mind (1). LUKE 4:38-40, a high fever

38 After He left the synagogue, He entered Simon’s house. Simon’s mother-in-law was suffering from a high fever, and they asked Him about her. 39 So He stood over her and rebuked the fever, and it left her. She got up immediately and began to serve them. 40 When the sun was setting, all those who had anyone sick with various diseases brought them to Him. As He laid His hands on each one of them, He would heal them.

 Peter's wife's mother had "a high fever."  In this day, a fever of 101 would almost just feel like a hard days work.  So for them to note, at this time, she had a "high" fever, means she was in bad shape.  But look at Jesus, he "stood over her."  Jesus didn't maintain any sort of "social distancing."  But it gets better, "all those who had anyone sick with various diseases brought them to Him. As He laid His hands on each one of them..."  They were physically bringing their sick, possible with viruses, to Jesus.  And Jesus would literally, physically touch them.  No gloves, no masks, no protective gear; just faith. These people would have NEVER had an encounter with CHRIST JESUS, if "social distancing" was enforced legally and or culturally.  Keep that in mind (2).  LUKE 5:12-14, Leprosy

12 While He was in one of the towns, a man was there who had a serious skin disease [leprosy] all over him. He saw Jesus, fell facedown, and begged Him: “Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean.”  13 Reaching out His hand, He touched him, saying, “I am willing; be made clean,” and immediately the disease left him. 14 Then He ordered him to tell no one: “But go and show yourself to the priest, and offer what Moses prescribed for your cleansing as a testimony to them.”

Though this translation does not specifically say "leprosy," other early writings and translations do.  It is a contagious bacterial infection that gets ugly quick.  Jesus, in his human body, that gets tired, needs food and hydration, reached out his hand and literally, physically, touched him.  There is a symbolic concept here too.  This would, according to Pharisaic additional laws and jewish ceremonial laws, would make Jesus unclean.  But, we know that Jesus is far from unclean, in fact, he is the exact, perfect opposite, he is perfectly sinlessly holy.  BUT he TOUCHED an unclean, infectious person.  He did not avoid them.  He did not maintain social distancing.  There are countless more examples in Holy Scripture but the point is, Jesus and the Apostles didn't shy away from infectious people:  Matthew 14:34-36; Luke 17:11-19. Here, people will make the argument "But Jesus was God, we are not."  Seems like a valid point.  So, let's look at the healing that the Apostles did AFTER Jesus had ascended to heaven.

The Apostles and Sickness

Acts 5:16  

"Also the people from the cities in the vicinity of Jerusalem were coming together, bringing people who were sick or afflicted with unclean spirits, and they were all being healed."

 Their faith and desire for God's healing superseded their feeling to stay away from sick people.  In fact, all the sick people and their friends and family were coming together.  Remember, Jesus had already left at this point.  This is just the first and early churches, after Pentecost.  A mass sickness party was being held by the Apostles, and by faith, they were all being healed. This would have never happened if the early church avoided meeting and maintained social distancing from all those who were sick. Act 19:11-12

"And God wrought special miracles by the hands of Paul: So that from his body were brought unto the sick handkerchiefs or aprons, and the diseases departed from them, and the evil spirits went out of them."

Acts 28:8-9

"And it happened that the father of Publius was lying in bed afflicted with recurrent fever and dysentery; and Paul went in to see him and after he had prayed, he laid his hands on him and healed him.  After this had happened, the rest of the people on the island who had diseases were coming to him and getting cured."

 Again, no social distancing and avoiding meeting here. So, we see that even the Apostles were not afraid of coming down with any of these diseases.  They didn't tell these people to say home and NOT bring their sick friends and family to them.  They did NOT close their doors wherever they were at to avoid contamination.  They WERE without Jesus, physically, and were on their own continuing his works.

Israel and The Church's Historical Reaction to Epidemics and Pandemics

The 142 BC Epidemic In 412 BC, there was an epidemic of an unknown disease, but it is often identified as influenza due to the described symptoms.  It was reported in Northern Greece by Hippocrates and in Rome by Livy.  It caused a food shortage in the Roman, and a famine was only prevented with food relief from Sicily and Etruria, and via trade missions to the "peoples round about who dwelt on the Tuscan sea or by the Tiber."  In other words, it spread.  In 520 BC Cyrus the Great allowed Jews to return to Judea and rebuild the Temple in 515 BC, but did not allow the restoration of the kingdom.   During the time of the epidemic, Persia was in control of Israel; and Persia traded with the Roman Republic until they were conquered by Alexander the Great in 332 BC. Israel did not stop conducting their ceremonies, worship services, and religious festivals even though there was a epidemic spreading from Rome. The Antonine Plague of 165 to 180 AD This was an pandemic brought to the Roman Empire by troops returning from campaigns in the Near East. Scholars have suspected it to have been either smallpox or measles; deadly and highly contagious.  The disease broke out again nine years later, according to the Roman historian Dio Cassius (155–235), causing up to 2,000 deaths a day in Rome, one quarter of those who were affected, giving the disease a mortality rate of about 25%. The total deaths have been estimated at 5 million, and the disease killed as much as one-third of the population in some areas and devastated the Roman army.  The plague may have also broken out in Eastern Han China before 166 AD, given notices of plagues in Chinese records.  The church was in the dead center of this pandemic.  It was a monster of a plague.  COVID-19 looks like a small cold compared to this one.  So, what did the early church do during this extremely dangerous plague? Irenaeus, who was about 30 years old at the time and was a pastor at the Church of Lyon during the plague.  He was indirectly a disciple of Polycarp, who was an actual disciple of John.  He never paused his mission work.  He didn't stop meeting and fellowship.  He even discussed his conversations and debates with Gnostics; which lead him to write Against Heresies.  Any sort of social distancing was not mentioned by him whatsoever.   The thought of closing his church doors and stopping his ministry work during the plague was not an idea he had. The Bubonic Plague, 1485–1551 Just about all of Martin Luther's life ran congruent to the Sweating Sickness that spread throughout Europe.  As a pastor and professor, he did not close his church doors and theological school.   During the spreading sickness, he revolutionized organized and formal worship services that changed history.  But it gets better.  The Elector of Saxony, John the Steadfast, ordered Martin Luther, to leave.  He refused.  Along with his pregnant wife Katharina, Luther stayed in Wittenberg, opening his house as a ward for the sick.  Someone literally asked him if it is wrong for a Christian to flee the cities that are infected, you can read Martin Luther's letter here.  The 1563 London plague Church leaders gathered to address some issues and iron out what the orthodox biblical faith teaches in 1563 AD and 1567AD, and drafted what is known as the Heidelberg Catechism and Belgic Confession.  All the while the 1563 London plague was raging.  Social distancing and closing churches did not happen. The 1663-1668 Plagues of Netherlands, England, and France While the "Great Plague of London" was spreading, from the Netherlands, and to France, the church gathered in London and drafted the The Westminster Confession of Faith in 1664AD.  An extremely important document that helped shape modern Church orthodoxy and maintain biblical reliance and understanding.  Social distancing and closing churches did not happen. The Spanish Flu, 1920s The Christian Reformed Church convened at the Synod of Kalamazoo and drafted the understanding of God's common grace in 1924.  The Spanish Flu was raging, world wide.  They did not close down their churches or cancel their synod.  The churches in America, as a whole, did not close down or stop meeting. Influenza A virus subtype H3N2, 1970s

  The outbreak and discovery of the H3N2 virus, predominate pastors from around America met in Chicago and drafted The Chicago Statement of Biblical Inerrancy.  Also, during this time, in the 70s, the churches did not close during the spread of H3N2.

  We see, that historically, and during much worse pandemics and plagues, the church did not close their doors and stop meeting.  They, in fact, become part of the help and aid to all those who were sick; just like the Apostles before them.  But what does other parts of the the Bible say about how to better address this issue?

  God's Word

  Aside from Jesus' example, and the Apostles' example in Holy Scripture, we can find assistance in coming to a biblical response in other truths made in scripture. 

  Psalm 41:1

  "Happy is one who cares for the poor; the LORD will save him in a day of adversity."

  There are two ways to look at this;  is avoiding contact with the poor, caring for the poor?  Is this being merciful and loving in that you care for their health enough to avoid them in the hopes of preventing getting them sick? 

  Here's a problem.  If you know you are not sick, then avoiding them is actually SELFISHNESS and UNLOVING to the poor.  Because you are actually more worried about your self and your own health than to serve the Lord, willing to risk yourself for his Glory and their greater good.  Making this argument, knowing your are not sick, exposes your selfishness, weak faith, and doubt in God's protection. So, if you are not sick, but yet you avoid taking care of the poor when given the opportunity, you are actually IN SIN.  You don't trust the Lord's protection.  You don't believe in his divine healing.  And you care more about your own life than the person you claim to love.

   James 4:17

"So it is a sin for the person who knows to do what is good and doesn't do it. "

Helping someone in need, is what is good.  Physically caring for someone in need, is what is good.  Caring for someone in physical or emotional need, is what is good.  Avoiding all these, to keep yourself from getting sick, is not doing what is good; it's selfish, non-sacrificial, lacking in faith, thus sin.

  Mark 16:17-20

  17 And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new languages; 18 they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”  19 After the Lord Jesus had spoken to them, he was taken up into heaven and he sat at the right hand of God. 20 Then the disciples went out and preached everywhere, and the Lord worked with them and confirmed his word by the signs that accompanied it.

Now, this is huge.  Jesus said these things "WILL accompany those who believe."  They can touch deadly things, even receive into their bodies deadly things, and yet, "WILL NOT hurt them at all."  and then right after that he said "they WILL place their hands ON SICK PEOPLE."  Again, all these "will accompany those who believe."   Think about the gravity of this.  WHY are you scared to touch sick people?  The REAL question is, why do you NOT believe Jesus' word here?  To simplify it; Why do you not fully trust God?  Do you not trust God will/can heal them?  Do you not trust God will/can protect you? Peter could walk on water!  but, because of his weak faith, he almost drowned (Matthew 14:30).  If Peter walked on water, why can't you minister to sick people?  If it is fear, Jesus directly addresses you: Matthew 10:28

28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

 The "who" could be a "what" or another noun; person, place, or thing.  That "thing" can also be COVID-19.   COVID-19 has killed people, but it only kills this temporary body.  Jesus flat out commands us to "NOT BE AFRAID" of COVID-19...  Is your lack of faith leading you to disobedience?  

John 10:11

"A good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep but the hireling sees the wolf coming and flees"

This is a brutal revelation about pastors, elders, and church leaders.  The wolf, is anything worldly that scares the weak and scatters the flock.  This is exactly what COVID-19 is doing; has scared the flock and scattered it.  Sadly, it appears that most pastors are just hirelings and not good shepherds, because they too have gone into hiding.  Martin Luther said "For when people are dying, they most need a spiritual ministry which strengthens and comforts their consciences by word and sacrament and in faith overcomes death."

  1 Timothy 5:8

"8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, that is his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

  Now this is a very important COMMAND.  YOU have a duty, a divine responsibility to take care of your household and family.  Maintaining social distancing and avoiding contact with family and members of your household is in direct violation to this command.  The things that are to be provided are care, love, fellowship, not just physical resources.  Obligated to provide physical and emotional support and care.  Even Bond-servant Masters are to care for their bond-servants as members of their household (Eph 6:5-9).  So, this isn't just limited to immediate blood-family. 

  Matthew 25:41-46

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ 44 Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ 45 Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ 46 And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

 Now THIS is condemning.  Social Isolation and avoiding fellowship risks THIS!  Social Isolation and avoiding fellowship does not feed the hungry, hydrate the thirsty, not welcome the lonely and strangers, does not clothe the poor, and cold, OR VISIT THE SICK!  Jesus literally says "sick and in prison and you did not visit me."  Closing the church, stopping fellowship and corporate worship directly conflicts with what Jesus is getting at here.

  The church, by closing and avoiding worship and fellowship, is neglecting those in need.  And dumping the duties to try to care for the local church community violates what The Holy Spirit prescribes in 1 Cor. 12:21-26. 

  1 John 3:16-17

16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 17 But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?

What does that look like now?  You see people in need, or know of a friend, family, or community in need; you have the resources to address that need and have been part of that community assisting in helping that need before; then suddenly, stopping, no longer helping because of fear of getting sick.  You are not willing to lay down your life for the brothers and sisters in your community.  All of these raise the question:  

  Is risking infection unloving to your household?

  It can't be.  The Apostles risked getting sick by healing people every day, Peter was married.  Was he risking getting infected and then infecting his wife?  No, it wasn't a risk because God is soverign.   In the eyes of the weak in spirit, yes, it seemed like he was risking getting infected and bringing the bug back home to his wife.  But the element of a sovereign God is unfaithfully absent with that idea.

  Is it then unloving for missionaries to take their families to dangerous parts of the world for mission work?  Of course not.  Is it a risk of danger, maybe.  But is the fear of risk the problem?  Yes.  

  The fear is being poor in faith.  The fear is immaturity in faith.  Peter feared drowning once he saw he was walking on water.  What, is it selfish and unloving of him to risk widowing his wife to walk on water with Jesus?  Is it selfish of Peter to lay hands on the sick, and risk being infected and taking the sickness back home to his wife?  No.  Peter was not in the wrong or acting in sin.

  What Does The Bible Say About Quarantine?

  So what happens when we become sick?  Well, we should be quarantined; but not neglected.

  Leviticus 13:4-8

the priest is to isolate the affected person for seven days. 5 On the seventh day the priest is to examine them, and if he sees that the sore is unchanged and has not spread in the skin, he is to isolate them for another seven days. 6 On the seventh day the priest is to examine them again, and if the sore has faded and has not spread in the skin, the priest shall pronounce them clean; it is only a rash. They must wash their clothes, and they will be clean. 7 But if the rash does spread in their skin after they have shown themselves to the priest to be pronounced clean, they must appear before the priest again. 8 The priest is to examine that person, and if the rash has spread in the skin, he shall pronounce them unclean; it is a defiling skin disease. 

 Here we see "The Lord said to Moses and Aaron" and laid out this process of a sort of quarantine.  This skin disease spoken about is a bacterial infection of Leprosy, which is contagious. This is about those who HAVE symptoms or ARE sick.  This is NOT about people who DO NOT have symptoms of any contagious sickness.  The context can not be used to justify quarantining healthy people.  Because, then how could the priest examine the person and determine their cleanliness or uncleanliness. If, your sick, stay at home.  If you are NOT sick, YOU HAVE A DUTY TO SERVE THE LORD STILL.  But, what if the government orders the churches to close?  

Government Orders to Close Churches

Romans 13:1-7

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. 3 For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, 4 for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. 5 Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. 6 For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. 7 Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.

   This comes up a lot too, by pastors who close their churches at the orders of the state.  They justify this action with the use of this verse.  A major problem though.  This verse applies to governing authorities that conduct what is good.  And "good" is defined by God.  That means, if the governing authorities do NOT do what is good but, in fact, impose authority that which only God is owed, they they are not to be respected and honored because they are NOT the one whom the respected and honor is owed.  Give Caesar what is Caesar's and give God what is God's (Mark 12:17).  Worship and praise is God's, he owns it, and expects it, commands it; it is our duty before God himself.  ANY governing authority that interferes with it, is due no respect or honor in regards to it.

Watching your church serve form a life video feed is not corporate fellowship and worship.  You have no interaction with the pastor or fellow believers.  It is no different from you watching any other video instead.

Corporate Worship and Fellowship

Acts 2:42, 46

"devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer...every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts"

  Closing church doors and doing live video feeds of worship services is NOT being "devoted to... fellowship, to breaking of bread..."  It is just not possible.  You can not break bread from a live Facebook feed.  Fellowship is neglected, period.  The early church was so on fire for Christ, they met every day!  DESPITE Roman authorities AND Jewish authorities persecuting them.

The early church defied the Roman authority.  The early church defied the Jewish authorities.  The early church RISKED death, arrest, breaking the law, jail, prison, and diseases; yet, still were devoted to fellowship and meeting in their homes.

  Hebrews 10:25

25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

 As mentioned above, the early church was dealing with governing authorities, such as Rome and the Jewish authorities, ordering them not to meet.  They risked legal issues, fines, jail time, prison, and violence.  Yet, the author of Hebrews, inspired by the Holy Spirit, directly and absolutely states "NOT GIVING UP MEETING TOGETHER".  

Conclusion

We see that Jesus went to the sick and physically touched them and heal them.  We see that the Apostles went to the sick and physically touched them to heal them.  We see that the early church, and the church all throughout history did NOT close their doors (willingly) for government authorities and plagues.  We see throughout scripture the duty and responsibility for believers to care for the sick, physically.  We see God commanding the church to NOT give up meeting, but to remain devoted to meeting together; no matter what the governing authorities impose or what worldly sickness is around.  That closing churches and not meeting together, in fact, reveals a lack of faith and fear of worldly pressures over the duty of what God is owed; obedience and worship.

It is made clear through Holy Scripture and church history, that churches who close their doors and stop meeting together, are in sin.

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[waez1997]

something’s wrong with me

So recently I’ve noticed that there’s something wrong with me. Not personality wise or physically. I’m able to function like a normal human being. Normal meaning that I get my homework done, do my job, try not to be an asshole, and generally get shit done and work towards my goals. How did I notice something was wrong with me? What is wrong with me? 

Should I make this a narrative?

I went to a mentor session and was surrounded by people that I think like* me and that I think are nice people. I made some jokes that people laughed at and that made me feel nice. I finished my problem set and headed back to my dorm to shower and plan for the week. It felt nice having finished my problem set and having made a few people smile.

I took my shoes and clothes off, threw my socks into the hamper, grabbed my towel and shower caddy, put my shower slides on and went to the bathroom. In the five strides it took me to get from the bathroom door to the shower I went from feeling good about my day to crying uncontrollably in the shower cubby. The water was not on. I was naked, and was holding myself against the cold, tiled wall with my hands. I was looking downwards and I was crying. I could not control this cry. This cry was long. This cry was painful. This cry was cold. This cry was black. This cry was cruel. This cry was menacing. This cry was terrifying. This cry was forced onto me. This cry was a panic attack. This cry made me feel empty. This cry made me feel darkness. I kept thinking about the last time I saw Daddy’s face. I kept picturing Daddy’s face as I lowered him into his grave. I kept seeing his shut eyelids, his nose stuffed with cotton, his sealed lips. It looked like he was sleeping. 

Why was I crying? I didn’t cry at Daddy’s chaleeswa. I didn’t cry at Daddy’s Quls. I didn’t cry when people consoled me. I didn’t cry when people hugged me because my father had died. I didn’t cry at Daddy’s janaza. I did cry when I told Simba that Daddy had died. I didn’t cry when I wore Daddy’s cologne. I didn't cry when I wore Daddy’s watch. I didn't cry when I wore Daddy’s shalwar kameez. I didn’t cry when I was showering. I didn’t cry when I told the servants that Fauzi Sahab did not make it. I didn’t cry when I went home to take a shower. I didn’t cry when they shoveled dirt into Daddy’s grave. I didn’t cry when I lowered Daddy into his grave. I didn’t cry in the van when we were going to the Kabristan. I didn’t cry when praying at Daddy’s namaz-e-janaza. I didn’t cry when we carried Daddy’s body to the Masjid. I didn’t cry when everyone cried when Daddy’s body was in the middle of the room. I didn’t cry when I gave Daddy his ghusl. I didn’t cry when I went to get Daddy’s death certificate. I didn’t cry when we made the decision to take Daddy off of the ventilator. I did cry when I sat beside Daddy in the hospital praying for him to come back, begging him not to do this to his angel, asking him not to hurt his angel, the person he loved the most like this, asking him not to leave her in this world without a father. I didn’t cry when we drove Daddy to the hospital. I didn’t cry when Daddy had a stroke. People had problems with me not crying. I wanted to cry. Why was I crying? 

I stopped crying. I took a shower. I was back to normal. I realized something is wrong with me. 

I have Identified a few things that are wrong with me: 

I have not dealt with Daddy’s death and have compartmentalized and hidden my emotions in a very deep corner of my mind. At the moment I am able to function as a normal human being but if I do not unpack these feelings at some point, they will affect me severely. If I keep these feelings buried I know that long-term they will rise and fuck me up like nothing else ever has before and maybe even permanently. I know that episodes/bursts like these will continue to happen but it is okay for now because they do not affect me to the point that I am unable to focus on my work and achieve my goals. 

I have an outside appearance of being very chill, nonchalant, calm and put-together. This isn’t true because internally I am angry, annoyed and pissed off all the time. The reason I appear calm and nonchalant is because I’m always focused on controlling my irritability and frustrations and stopping myself from bursting at people. Like Hulk in the Avengers. The reason why I’m annoyed and angry all the time is Grinnell, the people and the place. The people at Grinnell are immature, ugly and revolting. Grinnell as a place has allowed me to grow but it has nothing else to offer to me. There is no social or cultural capital that I can gain from being at Grinnell. My intellect and being need more than what Grinnell can give me. I cannot grow more while I am at Grinnell and the people here are obnoxious which is why I’m always angry and irritated.

I have not been happy in a very long time. I do not allow myself to be happy. I do not allow myself to have expectations from people. Whenever I notice I’m getting too happy, deriving too much pleasure from something or smiling too much I stop myself from doing so. When I was feeling good after the mentor session I could tell that I was stopping myself from feeling too good. Maybe the reason why I stop myself from being too happy is because I always feel the need to be careful and look out for myself, because I feel that people and life will find a way to take away my happiness. Or maybe it is because I’ve lost something that makes most people people happy: family. Or maybe it’s both. I don’t allow myself to have expectations from people because when people don’t meet them I get extremely frustrated and I don’t think getting frustrated over people is worth it. My mind’s way of dealing is to not have expectations from people because that takes away the power people and things have to affect my mood and the ability they have to control what I spend my time and energy thinking about. Something important though is that not being happy and not having expectations from people isn’t a bad thing and isn’t something I’m sad about. I enjoy being in such a neutral state because it allows me to have much more stability in my moods, it prevents me from getting very strongly attached to something emotionally. What the most important thing for me is that being in this neutral state of never letting myself to be too happy and not expecting anything from people allows reflection. It allows me to reflect on social interactions where I’m not expecting to gain anything. This makes it easy for me to judge what people are like and what they want to achieve in their interactions with me, and to figure out people’s goals and agendas and empathize with them. 

This is a long ass post. It covers a lot. I turned 20 exactly 2 months ago and I am still very young. I don’t know if I’m older for my age or not. It’s definitely not something I aspire to be or think is cool. I think about whether people my age think about this kind of stuff. They probably do. My life, I think, is sad. Historically it has been sad, currently it is sad and I don’t see it changing in the future. By that I don’t mean that my life is pitiful. I have accepted the sad. The sad is realistic. Sadness for me is: nostalgia about my childhood, seeing my sister hurting about loosing her father, seeing my mother hurting about loosing her husband, having to make sacrifices in the short-term for the long-term, uncertainty if life will distance me from the people I care about, not becoming the person you envisioned yourself to be, living a life that my parents wanted to live but couldn’t when they were my age, death, not being able to achieve your goals, naivety that allows people to take advantage of you and other things I haven’t identified yet. Happiness is not something I crave or am looking for, for myself. If life gives me something to be happy about I will accept it, enjoy it and appreciate it wholeheartedly. But, I don’t expect life to give me happiness. Life doesn't allow you to give happiness to yourself but you can give happiness to other people. 

*I’m unsure if/why people like me. I try to be a nice person and avoid unnecessary drama. I am also aware of me being good looking. This is a recent layer that’s been added to  how people perceive me and has affected the social interactions I have. While I was never ugly, puberty has done me well in the past two years. Before that I knew that my looks weren’t the reason why people talked to me or were friends with me. But now I’m always skeptical and I don’t know how/am learning how to navigate this development.