#i didnt sleep for 60 hours straight and then i only slept for 2 hours just now and i jolted awake

[frecklystars]

nightmares have rendered me unable to sleep once again so i've been dancing in my room to Elvis music pretending K is dancing w/ me for the past 45 minutes. I think it'd be his way of trying to make me feel better. he isn't very experienced with comforting others but he hears me gasp awake, hears me crying. he knows the drill by now. he immediately gets up. takes my hands and pulls me out of bed. asks me if i want to talk about it, and if i don't, he turns on some music and swirls us around. he mimics elvis' voice while singing to the songs, knowing it'll make me laugh. when i finally do, he's smiling, saying very gently "there you are, sweetheart... there's my girl"

#its funny he doesnt even listen to elvis in his downtime in canon and he's become synonymous w/ his music in my mind #im so tempted to draw him in a black leather jacket and me in a poodle skirt #sharing a milkshake at the diner. OH GOD WAIT i want to draw me and Driver doing that #i need my F/Os more than ever rn it's gonna be uh. a difficult day bc i gotta work soon #and im running on VERY little sleep 😭 #i didnt sleep for 60 hours straight and then i only slept for 2 hours just now and i jolted awake #and i cant sleep again ;~; #but thank god i have ryan F/Os to think about when i jolt awake now #my dolls or my posters being the first thing i see when i wake up scared. is comforting #every tme i blink my eyes burn but it feels better knowing Driver would understand... or Six would get it bc he has c-ptsd too #i need them to hug me so tight. augh. hell on earth i wanna sleep so bad #IM FINE i dont mean to complain. well yes i do. im running on such little sleep my thoughts are all over the place #woof #love notes #💕♬♪ ♡ I can't help falling in love with you ☆- ̗̀💛 ̖́-☆ #vent #I GUESS?

[pbandjesse]

I took a nap and I feel a little better but I'm still feeling kind of dizzy. I think I just really need a break. I got 4 days off this weekend but like. Were traveling. And theres a wedding. So it will probably still be a lot.

Today was a pretty okay day. I slept okay i guess. Could have been longer. And we hot woken up by power tools way to early. And that sucked. I tried to cover my head but it didnt help much.

James headed out. I spent the next hour getting ready. I had a nice breakfast. Enjoyed doing my makeup. I left here a little early and went to get donuts.

I sat on the pier and watched the birds for a little. Got to my shift a little early. It was the last day of fleet week. Well sort of. Tomorrow is officially the last day but today was the last day you could tour the ships i think?

Basically everyone looked like a zombie. The volenteers where nice enough but one got salty with me because i didnt know what she was supposed to do and wouldnt listen to me when I told her to talk to Libby. Okay. We were running low on the special coins but at least all the school kids were nice.

The steel side ships needed lunch relief and were short staff so I would head over there later. Andrew had his lunch first. I was at the desk and talked to people. It was nice. My favorite hand lotion sent me a coupon and i was able to get it for 60% off. Amazing.

After Libby had her break I went over to Chessie. One of my first 2 people on were these 2 sweet old men who i had met like 20 minutes before over at Connie. The one actually had served on yhe Coast Guard ship Eagel I had gone on the other day. So he really wanted to go see it. So we had talked for a bit. So we had a laugh when I showed up over there. And then i went to torsk and they came again! I was following them essentially. We joked i wojld see them later when they came to get their coins for getting all their stamps. Riley boughy me a mango soda but i have lost my sense of taste again so I didnt lile it. It was still nice of him to get me a drink.

I went back to connie and discovered we only had like 5 coins left. Oh no. I was very worried that those sweet men wouldn't grt a coin so i put 2 to the side for them. I sent everyone out to try to find me more coins. Joanie went to fells where someone said they had a bunch. Awesome. I had some nice conversations with a volenteer who is 17 months sober and was accidently assigned to the beer tent. He was a nice guy and i hope he continues to do well.

And then like 10 minutes before i was done my shift my old men friends came!! They were so funny. I told them i was so worried that they wouldnt get their coins and i saved some and they were so thankful. It was great.

James was there and gave them some directions and soon enough it was time to get changed. I was fairly overheated though and I wanted to hang out with my boy. But I also wanted to be sitting in the dark.

But we went over to Marshall's and got hin shoes for the wedding. I think they look great on him. He got a number higher size then normal and they fit just fine. So i really think his shoes are always falling apart partly because he's getting shoes that are to small for him. We also got him tupper wear and an ice cube tray. He bought me some candy.

And then we headed out.

He went to stop at connie ane i went straight home. He still beat me back to the apartment. Not shocking.

I felt pretty bad though. Dizzy and hot. I made a hotdog. And got a shower. I was frustrited because James left a bunch of stuff on the counter. He did the dishes to appologize. But I was just really tired and on edge. So after I had my hotdog I went to sleep.

James left to go do some deliveries. He almost got in an accident and spilled a milkshake in his bag. Which upset me. But he's okay. I woke uo at 630 and felt better. But I'm still really tired.

I have been chilling. Made stuffing for dinner. Cuddled with Sweetp. I made ice cream bread with strawberries and cream cheese. I just want to feel better.

Im going to to do all the dishes and pack a lunch and go to bed. Im working all day at connie tomorrow. And James is our lunch relief. Well see how im feeling but if I still feel this weak I'll beg off doing the firing. Well see.

Sleep well everyone. Be safe out there.

#ootd #work #tired #boy #monday #sick