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#i do not have the money nor the emotional capacity for yearning
camellia-thea · 7 months
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i made the mistake of opening the jellycat website.
they have a jack russell now. it has one black spot across its back like jazzy.
#tags turned into a ramble-y vent be warned#mistakes were made#i do not have the money nor the emotional capacity for yearning#there are so many that are super cute#like the quinn fox and sigmund seal and all the octopi and they have a new spider plush!!!#i am in so much pain and i have nothing that stops it and i just. want to not be dealing with anything i am right now#i tried lifting my tea earlier and i started to cry because of how painful and exhausting it was.#enough so that i didn't finish it which is an indicator of how i am going#feeling a bit better now -- i am not as fatigued but. still in so much pain and sitting upright is tiring.#but it really really doesn't help the emotional stuff going on#i desperately want jellycat to make a black and white border collie too#so i can have a poppydog again#i miss her so fucking much#she was my good girl and i miss her.#i miss jazzy right now too. i want her here with me and i want her to cuddle me and stick her nose in my teacup#i just. feel bad.#i hate feeling out of control like this and yet i. cannot fucking accept help#and i'm such a hypocrite with it but i just. i can't. i don't know what i need#i want someone to take care of me but i don't know how to ask or be vulnerable. i physically need someone to wrestle me into care#i don't even know what i'm saying.#i have so many things in my head and just. saying them aloud feels scary. even typing this into vague nonspecific existence. i don't know.#i don't know.#i feel out of control and i hate it.#but. i just. need to feel out of control safely i guess?#someone else take it and just.
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recently the mood has just been no thoughts, head empty; just soft SKZ Virgo boys~
okay okay okay. okayokayokay. let’s talk about the virgos. (this is going to be a long post, so go make yourselves some popcorn or tea or white wine or somethin because i have been wanting to write this from the moment i started this blog and this bitch is long.)
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it’s a little impressive, honestly, to have a group of eight people consist of three virgos. considering it’s one of the most underappreciated signs in the zodiac, that’s a lot of earth sign, and that’s a lot of virgo. but i think the interesting thing about the virgos in stray kids is that they are all different versions of the same sign. like one of those pokemon whose evolution is the same creature, just with a different coat color. they play so perfectly off and into each other. it very much feels as if it was meant to be. 
let’s start with the baby.
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seungmin is almost a cusp. he’s right on the border of libra and virgo, which means he inherited a little bit of both. cusps are often pretty conflicted people, but i think seungmin wears it well. he’s got the steadiness of a virgo—his feet are planted firmly in the soil. he’s got the motivation of a virgo, that self-discipline that verges on cruel. listening to the paranoid ways that he cares for his voice—no a/c, only masks, no shouting—that’s that virgo neurosis. he’s the controlled virgo, the perfectly-aligned virgo. the stereotypical virgo. good with money, level-headed in an argument, prone to fits of contained anger if things don’t go his way or he experiences unanticipated setbacks. he’s the impatient, exasperated, long-suffering virgo mom friend. tough love, rough love. brutal honesty and uncensored opinions. getting his teammates out of bed and into the van, forcing vitamins down their throats, throwing sunscreen at their backs and water bottles at their heads because god fucking damnit, can’t they take care of themselves for once? the advice-giver, the maknae with a head full of barbed wisdom. he’s the knows better kid, because he does. seungmin knows better. he knows what to do, so he’s the one they call. night or day. i’ve messed up, i think i really messed up this time. and he’ll talk them off a ledge, go to the only all-night grocery store, buy some ice cream and some gummy vitamins. show up at jisung’s door and say take a deep breath. you’re going to be okay, peabrain. grow up a little. sharp and a little bit caustic, but his friends have learned that the sting usually means he’s right.  
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and within that rough love, there are moments of unthinkable sweetness. holding hands under the table to calm nerves at radio interviews, pressure on the back of a neck to hold back a panic attack at an airport, warm arms under the covers the night before a concert. the ability to bring such profound comfort is uniquely virgo--it exists nowhere else in the zodiac. no other sign has the capacity to ground, to center. there is assurance of course in the gentle touch of others, of the i feel you, i am with you, you’re going to be okay. but that’s not how seungmin brings comfort. it’s not gentle, it’s not soft. it’s not treating someone like they’re about to shatter to pieces. it is an unyielding and forceful kind of comfort. you are breathing. your heart is beating. you are alive--now fucking act like it. that’s what seungmin does, he brings his teammates back to the ground and he ties them there, strings a rope between his hand and theirs so that there is no slipping away. it’s a rough love, a tough love, but it works. like splashing your face with cold water, or pinching the back of your hand. a little bit of pain – just a little – to remind you that you are still alive. you’re still feeling. and then seungmin will sit and he will wait and he will keep his teammates together until they’re strong enough to do it themselves. nothing weathers the winds and the waters of time like a virgo’s love. 
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there are souls in this world who have lived many lives. people that you encounter and can sense, somehow, somewhere, a very immense sort of old. not old like grandparents or textbooks, not old as in dusty attics or love letters, black and white photographs. old as in ancient. like the sea, or the mountains, the canyons. the redwood trees and the milky way. sometimes you encounter people who hold that great vastness of time in them, and yongbok is one of those people. his soul has been around for a very, very long time. it’s seen the oceans rise and the moon go yellow. this is not its first time on earth, nor will it be its last.
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yongbok is the old-soul virgo. the contemplative, philosophical one with his head in the clouds. he spends a lot of his time thinking, just like all virgos do. they are the overthinkers, the worriers. worring over things that have happened, are happening, will happen. past, present, and future, worry worry worry. and i know he doesn’t really come across like that at first. i too was fooled into believing that yongbok does not have a brain. plot twist: i actually think yongbok might use his brain the most. not for common sense, or anything. like let’s be real: yongbok has definitely never asked himself whether the thing that he is doing, such as eating a banana peel or gluing googly eyes to all of minho’s possessions, is a good thing to be doing. that thought process has never entered his head, nor will it ever enter his head. this is because wisdom and intelligence are different traits, and while yongbok’s got wisdom coming out the ass, he’d sit on wet paint because he didn’t take the time to read the sign. i think that’s why i’ve always felt like yongbok wasn’t really made to be an idol. like, of course he deserves it and he belongs with stray kids. he’s good enough and he’s brave enough and he’s strong enough. but there’s just something about him that screams i was not made for a life of glass and steel and concrete. i was not made for a camera lens. he was made for a cottage on the edge of the sea where he can sit and contemplate the great unknown unhindered by paparazzi or a world-class act. he’s too soft for that, too gentle. too sincere and genuine and open-hearted.
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i think yongbok learning to make peace with the discord within himself though – an inner yearning for a simple life and an unquenchable thirst for success – by finding fulfilment outside of the business end of stray kids and devoting himself instead to his members. i could talk for hours about yongbok and his cooking and his sunshine, but i’ll restrain myself and just say: yongbok isn’t the backbone of the team. he doesn’t have the strength and willpower the way chan or minho do, the physical capacity to endure weight and pressure and carry his teammates to the finish line like changbin. he’s not grounding like seungmin or jeongin, he’s not electrifying like jisung, and he doesn’t bleed humanity like hyunjin. yongbok’s power, his role in stray kids, comes from his softness and his genuine love for them. the way he looks at them like they hung the stars. the gentle, silly, dumb ways he loves them, gives and shows that love just by being present. he’s the sunshine kid, he brings warmth because he brings love, because it comes off of him in waves. 
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and then there’s jisung. little jisung! a virgo in his own right, although you wouldn’t think it given his propensity for dramatics and conflict and stage-stealing. what makes jisung a virgo is his defiance. i’ve talked about it before, could talk about it until i was blue in the face, but jisung is filled with fire. i don’t know what force made him this way, but whatever it was, it made him with the intention to burn. burn down stages, burn down cities, burn down countries. ashes to ashes and dust to dust, jisung is meant to bring the world to its knees. there is a hurricane in him, a maelstrom. it strains at the seams of his skin to be released, rages against his bones until they crack under the weight of all the life he’s kept contained. there is a light in him that will never go out and every day he fights against it swallowing him whole. 
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that kind of fire knows no master. cannot be handled, cannot be contained. cannot be scripted or framed or repositioned. there is no politics in jisung’s fury and ocean, it is just sheer energy and flame—human spirit, you could say. virgos are masters of their own fates. they do not let higher powers take their will from them. the backbone of every revolution is a virgo, because they’re unfazed in the face of authority. virgos only believe in power they can see and touch. that means they are not fallible to state or god. no wonder why jyp had such trouble with jisung at first—there’s no way a kid like that, with that much cyanide and gasoline in his veins, fell into line. in fact, we know he didn’t. in a place so constrained and regimented as an entertainment company, someone like jisung must have chafed at every corner. virgos can’t be tricked into believing, there will be no blind faith from them. you have to put your money where your mouth is and prove yourself. not just that you’ve got a cause worth fighting for, but that you’re even worth the time of day to listen to in the first place. i don’t know about you, but i kinda doubt jyp’s menacing management staff and their consumerist rhetoric made the cut. it’s one in a list of a million reasons why chan stands out to me, why i know he’s so much more than he lets on. because for all that jyp entertainment tried to force jisung to his knees, chan only needed to ask. 
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aside from raging against the machine as all good virgos do, jisung is- how do i put this? jisung’s really fucking smart, in the way only virgos (and scorpios!) ever are. like okay, no lie. the kid’s this close to being a genius. whenever they play games based in deceit or lying, jisung can play them under the table. remember when i said jisung’s got an emotional intelligence that’s off the charts? this is an example of that. he knows his teammates better than they know themselves because he spends every waking hour of his day paying attention to them. i’ve noticed this with most of the “mood-makers” in kpop. their role is to keep the pulse of the group up and racing, and that means they need to know how each one of their teammates is feeling, regardless of whether he’s hiding it or not. jisung needs to have his teammates’ tells so thoroughly intuited that he can read them from the other end of a stage during a black-out between performances. that’s his job. so of course he’s a virgo, because he needs that virgo intuition and logic, the ability to fill in the gaps on the heel of a dime. to know in the hair’s width of time before the commercial break ends and they’re back on the air, if jisung needs to draw the spotlight because hyunjin’s feeling a little bit ganged up on by the hosts or chan’s voice is starting to give a little. to smooth out the edges, hide their rough edges under a veil. because that’s what he does, and that’s what he’ll always do. cover for his teammates. hold them up the only way he knows how. 
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they make a pretty formidable trio, don’t you think? between seungmin’s brutal honesty, yongbok’s stubbornness, and jisung’s wit, i imagine the three of them get what they want. that’s how virgos are. they expect more and they expect better and they do not take shit from anyone. if a virgo thinks that they’re right, there is a zero percent chance that you will get your way. it will save everyone involved time, energy, and effort to give in and acquiesce. otherwise, you’re facing an uphill battle that you will not win. not with one virgo, and certainly not with three. i honestly pity the rest of stray kids. no one does stubborn quite like an earth sign. 
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they are also, quite bluntly, essential to the team. stray kids are eight pieces of one whole, and the virgo line take up a pretty considerable fraction of that whole. without their support, be it through seungmin’s fierce and brambled comfort, yongbok’s soft and humble warmth, or jisung’s quick-thinking, stray kids would implode. there’s a reason there are earth signs in every kpop group—they’re the ones with their shit together. they’re the ones that keep everyone else’s shit together, either through nagging or just brute force. they are the grounding weight, the support net. smart, sharp, ever-aware, to show up on top of their game. stray kids’ virgos are nonstop. they’ll keep it together, keep their team together, if it fucking kills them. 
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you know how it is. different circus, same clowns. - @hexglyphs 
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staliasjeronica · 4 years
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Similarities Between Jeronica and Carmuel (Elité)
While one ship is canon and the other isn’t, Jughead and Veronica and Samuel and Carla have so much in common. Here’s highlighting why!
Jeronica and Carmuel both involve a boy who is classified as poor, or lesser than, and a beautiful rich girl.
The boys use the girl to get to the bottom of the mystery, and the girls use the boy back to make sure he doesn't find out anything. Basically, an interesting version of cat and mouse?
However, despite that, both ships end up falling for one another while at the same time continuing on with their mission because they’re stubborn and feel obligated to stay loyal and on the path for why they started in the first place.
It’s mostly a guess for Jeronica since they are not canon, but if they were canon, the similar path Samuel and Carla went is more than likely the path Jughead and Veronica would go based on their characters and their dynamic in Riverdale.
Girl is a dominant bad bitch and boy loves it.
Mostly fanon for Jeronica but, again, this is mostly guessing based on how their characters are and how their dynamic goes.
According to Carla’s wiki page these facts can show just how much Carla and Veronica are basically the same person.
Carla and Veronica are similar in that they use their intelligence and beauty to their advantage. Because their fathers raised them to be successful and confident and I-get-what-I-want, both girls can be very manipulative and use sex as a way to get what they want. Basically, they let others believe that they’re begging on their knees and that the other person has all the control, when it is actually the opposite.
Both Carla and Veronica are seen as cold-hearted, prideful, and selfish characters who are willing to do anything to put the odds in their favor. However, both of them are very loyal to the people they love and care about (Carla to Polo, her father, and her friends, Veronica to her friends and somewhat her father—which is mostly bad writing since they won’t let her branch off— and her mother)
With these qualities, neither character are as cold as the front they put up. Both girls share a more vulnerable and soft side of their personalities, appreciating non-luxurious places (Veronica’s is fanon for how the fans write Veronica as liking personal interactions because that’s how her character can be read) such as Samuel's home, his food, and even having fun as an ordinary girl without money, sex, and mind games involved. This softer side emerges only when Carla is with Samuel. That is much how Jeronica’s see what would happen if Jughead and Veronica were actually given a chance. Both of their (Jeronica’s) softer sides would emerge when they’re with each other, like how Jughead is allowed to show his softer side with Betty (and not around the Serpents) and Veronica with Archie (not around her father or friends).
Sadly there is no personality snippet for Samuel on the wiki and Jughead’s doesn’t really highlight it all, however…
Both boys are soft and caring and loyal (in s1, when bad shit didn’t hit the fan). until they are pushed to a space where they aren’t (Marina is murdered, Jughead joins the Serpents). They are ruthless and will do anything to uncover the truth. Marina’s death pushed Samuel to harden, and his usually humorous and normal teenager side was pushed to the side as he adopted this darker version of himself. Which is a lot like when Jughead joins the Serpents, and made him want “to be better than they were and to stay true to himself” which forced him into tough situations where he had to cast aside his more innocent season one self.
Samuel and Jughead started out as “low class” funny, loner (Samuel when he went to the private school) boys who are able to skirt by on the sidelines just being themselves. However, later on as things come to a head, they are both impulsive yet oddly able to wait and strike… it’s a very weird thing but I noticed that they act that way.
Since the boys didn’t have much of a personality description I decided to go through all of the personality types and choose who would be what.
Ironically and not surprisingly, Veronica and Carla (would most likely be) a Commander, ENTJ.
Jughead is an Architect, INTJ, and Samuel would most likely be an Adventurer, ISFP. However while going through each personality type Samuel did fit some of Jughead’s strengths and weaknesses, but Adventurer fit him a bit more. Since the girl’s share their personality profile I will go over their’s first. I won’t give a fully detailed one because this isn’t a personality profile post, but I will give the highlights and such.
Commanders are natural-born leaders, they embody the gifts of charisma and confidence, and project authority in a way that draws crowds together behind a common goal. However, they are also characterized by a ruthless level of rationality, using their drive, determination, and sharp minds to achieve whatever end they’ve set for themselves. Commanders love a good challenge, big or small, and they firmly believe that given enough time and resources, they can achieve any goal. Commanders are dominant, relentless, and unforgiving. If there’s anyone Commanders respect, it’s someone who is able to stand up to them intellectually, who is able to act with a precision and quality equal to their own. That is why Carla and Veronica vibe so well with Samuel and Jughead—those boys are able to keep up with them and bring on a challenge that they need and actually yearn for.
Commander strengths are efficient, energetic, self-confident (they trust their abilities, make known their opinions, and believe in their capacities as leaders), strong-willed, strategic thinkers (they are known for examining every angle of a problem and not just resolving momentary issues), and charismatic and inspiring.
However, their weaknesses are stubborn and dominant, intolerant (“It’s my way or the highway”), impatient, arrogant, poor handling of emotions (commanders often trample others’ feelings, inadvertently hurting their partners and friends, especially in emotionally charged situations), and cold and ruthless.
Looking between the two characters, it makes sense that they are the same type because they act in almost the exact way, and were brought up by their controlling, rich fathers were want to stay on top and will do anything to stay on top. Now, to see how their type deals with romance.
Commanders approach dating and relationships with a set of goals and a plan to achieve them, and proceed to do so with impressive energy and enthusiasm. Romantic relationships are a serious business, and Commanders are in it for the long haul (of course, this is about people irl and these are TV show characters so it won’t always be completely right. Still, the rich lonely girl who’s only had people use her for something would totally want something permanent and long-standing).
Sensing others’ feelings and emotions will never be a comfortable skill for Commanders, but it is critical that they work consciously to develop it, both for their partners’ sake and for their own healthy emotional expression. If they don’t, they risk dominating and overruling their partners, and this insensitivity can easily break a relationship, especially early on.
Their authentic confidence makes Commanders’ sex life dynamic to say the least, and they often push to explore new ways to express their affection with imaginative enthusiasm (both couples are sensual and hot, so this makes sense that their relationships would show that explicitly).
Commanders in particular would do well to remember that their approach is just one angle of a multi-faceted spectrum of alternatives. While Commanders may view criticism as the most efficient route, they should bear in mind that their partners may be more interested in emotional support and growth, an area of self-improvement that Commanders themselves too often avoid. This is where the softness and the trust would come in, where they open themselves up to the other only with each other.
Now, to compare Jughead and Samuel’s personality profiles. Jughead and Samuel may be different in that Jughead reads a lot of books and is more of a shy bookworm and Samuel seems more of like the introverted yet extroverted if needed kind of boy, but at the same time a show that doesn’t really let us in to see how Samuel truly acts is kind of hard to pin him down to a more spot-on personality type and have it be correct. In retrospect, their personality profiles are different but in their underlying personalities on screen, they are very much alike in how they act, think, 
Both Architects and Adventurers are able to be both the “most positive dreamers and the bitterest pessimists at the same time” (Architect), and “...definitely Introverts, surprising their friends further when they step out of the spotlight to be by themselves to recharge,” (Adventurer) they both think about anything and everything, but also can shut themselves off from others to recharge (obviously that’s not exact from the words but that’s what you can take from what the descriptions say). Their strengths and weaknesses don’t exactly match up (unless you dig really deeply into how an architect’s quick, imaginative, and strategic mind can connect to an adventurer’s passion, and etc.) and neither do their profiles, but from how they are perceived on their respective shows, they clearly have underlying comparisons.
It would take like five hours to find every single little thing and compare it, so simply go to their personality profiles and you can see for yourself how they can match up. It’s hard to do so because they’re on different shows and obviously not everything is exactly the same (nor are they placed in the same plots) but overall it’s clear to say that the couples are compatible with one another AND the people inside the ships. 
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ddwacsszdfs · 3 years
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