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#i don't think you actually meant to give them a pillow with a tv built into it but the idea of such a thing was too silly
askblueandviolet · 2 months
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stevesnailbat · 4 years
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i shouldn’t be feeling this, but it’s too hard to resist | robin buckley
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summary: Y/N is falling for someone, but it’s not someone they planned to fall for.
warnings: mutual pining, slightest mentions of homophobia
word count: 1.9K
a/n: this fic is loosely based off girls by girl in red!! i feel like the song just fits robin so perfectly, so here’s my take on it! i’m changing my writing style to be more inclusive also, so the perspective is different on this one! the gif used above is by @harringtown once again!!!
You knew you shouldn’t have said yes to it. But there you were, sitting on the edge of Robin Buckley’s bed, chewing on your lip nervously as you waited for her to come back into the room.
You and Robin were meant to be nothing more than coworkers at Family Video, maybe acquaintances at most. You had planned on it staying that way, and on keeping your distance. But, there was always just something special about Robin. There was something about Robin's smile that was so convincing, so inviting, so beautiful. There was something that kept pulling you back in for more. 
Just friends, you told yourself, nothing more. You didn’t want it to progress into anything more—it couldn’t possibly progress into anything more, not if you wanted to save yourself from the judgement that would most likely ensue.
When the door opened once more, you had to look away, avoiding eye contact with her. You could feel her eyes on you as she walked in with the widest grin, plopping down on the bed next to where you were perched. She sat a bowl of popcorn down on the bed along with a movie and a few boxes of candy after sitting down.
“I snuck a copy of Carrie from the store, I remembered you said you liked that one.” Robin said as she leaned down to rifle through some things under her bed. “Do you want to drink? I bought some wine because I thought it’d be fun to, y’know, let loose for once.”
“Oh—uh—yeah!” you reply with a nervous smile, only making eye contact with her for a fraction of a second. “I’ll take some.”
She smiled over at you again as she pulled the bottle and corkscrew from under the bed, working to open it as soon as she took it out. You cursed yourself for how awkward you were making the situation, but it was unavoidable. Every time you looked at her you felt like your heart was going to explode, so you avoided it at all costs. You knew it was wrong, what you were feeling about her. It felt so wrong that it made the pit of your stomach turn in knots and your heart ache. The feeling wasn’t going away any time soon, though. 
Robin could tell something was up from the moment you walked into the house, truthfully. In the past four months of working with you, she’d developed a theory that you just flat out didn’t like her, so she wanted that to change. There were shifts where you would ignore her completely, and others where you’d only give her a sympathetic smile when she’d talk to you. 
She didn’t know what she did, but Robin wanted to get to the bottom of it. She had randomly sprung the idea of hanging out on you in the middle of a shift with her and Steve, you couldn’t say no to her. When you said yes, she was downright thrilled to actually get to know you after working quietly alongside you for this long. 
You couldn’t help but stare at her as she worked the corkscrew into the bottle, taking in every little detail of her face for the first time. You couldn’t bring yourself tear your gaze away as she continued, eyes wandering as she tugged her lip between her teeth. It was impossible to not think about how soft her lips looked, and how perfect she looked altogether. If someone could read your mind, they might think you were just jealous of the girl. But, truly, the feeling was something much more than jealousy. It was something along the lines of a feeling of longing and desire.
“Finally!” Robin proclaimed, setting the cork on the bed beside her as you broke from your daze. “Here, you can have the first drink and get comfortable while I get the movie set up.”
You nodded and smiled at her, but suddenly lost all desire to drink the alcohol in your hands. There was already a feeling of intoxication building inside of you, built on being around Robin alone. Just looking at her was enough to make you feel a little drunk. Her beauty was overwhelming to you, almost painful to think about in a way. Slowly, you had come to terms with the fact that what you were feeling wasn’t temporary, that what you were feeling—despite how wrong it felt—was there to stay. 
“You alright?” she asked when she turned around to see you still sitting on the edge of the bed, frozen with the untouched bottle still in your hand.
“Yeah—yeah, sorry. I’m fine.” you lied, forcing a smile onto your lips as your heart pounded against your ribs.
“You don't seem fine.” Robin pointed out, setting the movie on top of the VCR as she furrowed her brows in concern. “What’s up?” 
“It’s really nothing, I—I guess I’m just tired, that’s all.” you lied, hoping she wouldn’t see through the thinly-veiled lie you were telling. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be boring and fall asleep as soon as I get here."
“It’s okay!” she said quickly, moving away from the TV to sit next to you on the bed again. “We can just hang out and talk instead, if you want, of course.”
“Yeah, that’s fine!” you stammered abruptly, looking at the bowl of popcorn next to you to avoid her gaze again. 
“Are you going to homecoming next weekend?” she asked, moving around on the bed to face you once more as she broke the odd silence. 
“Yeah, I’m supposed to.” you laughed bitterly, rolling your eyes at the thought of it.
“You don't seem too thrilled about that. Do you not have a date or something?” she implored, reaching her hand out to take the bottle from your hands. “Or do you have a date and just not like them?”
“Yeah—Yeah, that one.” you said, cringing about it once more. “I’m supposed to go with my brother’s friend from the football team but I’m not interested at all. He’s—He’s just not—“
“He’s just a typical jock who’s boring and doesn’t want to have any real fun?” Robin interjected, eyebrows quirking up as a smile grew on her lips.
He’s not you, Robin Buckley. He’s not the girl with perfect skin and pretty blue eyes that looks fucking perfect in a flannel. He’s not the one who makes you want to scream into a pillow about what you were feeling. That’s what you wanted to say. You wanted to grab her by the shoulders and tell her that you really, really wanted to go with her, but you knew you couldn’t. What would your family say? What would everyone at school say? And most importantly, what would Robin even say if you told her?
“Yeah, I guess that’s probably what it is.” you sighed, shrugging your shoulders to brush it off in the most casual way possible. “I don’t want to act like I like the kid for a whole night, it feels like such a stupid waste of my time.”
“Well, don’t go with him then.” she suggested simply, watching as you tilt your head at her straightforward proposal. “Is there someone else that you actually want to go with?”
“Yeah—I mean, I don’t—I don't know.” you stuttered, a blush settling onto your cheeks as the words slipped from your lips.
“I heard you say yes at first, you can’t take that back!” she said, her eyes lighting up with amusement. “Who is it? Is it that one kid who comes into the store all the time?”
“God no! That kid isn’t in there to flirt, I think he actually just watches a different movie every damn night.” you giggled shyly, heart skipping a beat at the sound of Robin laughing with you. 
“Well, who is it then?” Robin asked again, shoving her hand into the bowl of popcorn as if she was watching some interesting movie. “Actually, just tell me about them. You don’t have to name any names, just tell me why you like them. Is that easier?”
“Yeah, that works.” you sighed, chewing on your lip as you finally looked over to her. “I don’t really know where to start, I guess. They’re really like, one of the greatest people I’ve ever met. Obviously we’ve went to school together for a while, but I really have grown to like them a lot—like a lot—in the last few months. And—And I feel like shit for pushing them away for so long, but I just can’t bring myself to fully face how I feel.”
Robin continued to listen intently as you spoke, but was catching on rather quickly. She was shocked, to say the least. She never would’ve known that you felt this way, and would’ve done something about it a lot sooner if she had. There was a twisted feeling in your gut as you spoke, looking to Robin to see the waves of realization hitting her all at once. 
“Why don’t—or didn’t—you want them to know?” Robin questioned, tearing her gaze away from yours to stare at her hands. 
“Because I’m afraid of how they feel about me, and of what other people will say if I try to be with them.” you said softly, heart sinking as Robin’s smile faded into a focused frown. 
“Yeah, I was scared too.” she replied, making your eyes go wide in shock for a moment. “I still am, I guess. I just have people who I know will actually support me, instead of ones who would disown me.”
“You—You’re—”
“Yeah, I am.” Robin laughed softly, a bittersweet smile on her lips. “I’m not very good at this whole thing yet. Which is obvious, considering I didn’t realize you might actually like me until just now.”
“Might like you?” you laughed, making her look up at you with a hope-filled gaze. “I really like you, Robin.”
“Well good.” she sighed, inching closer to you as she spoke. “Because I’m tired of shoving my feelings away every time I see you.”
You smiled, looking away for a moment as butterflies filled your gut. There was a feeling of relief in the air that was quickly replacing the dread and doubt that had filled the room minutes before. Robin reached to put her hand on top of yours, making your heart flutter for a quick moment. Her free hand hooked under your chin, pulling your gaze back to hers as she smiled at you longingly.
“I’m glad you could finally talk to me about this.” she admitted, her thumb rubbing along your cheek gently. “And I’m glad we could both get this off our chests.”
“Yeah, me too.” you replied with a nervous smile. “And since we’re on the subject, there’s something else I’ve been wanting to get off my chest for a while.”
Robin knew exactly what you were doing as she saw your eyes flicker towards her lips, but the feeling still made her heart race. You both had wanted this to happen for a while, and it was finally happening. You cupped her cheek and pulled her into the kiss, keeping it short and sweet. Her lips were just as wonderful and sweet as you had expected, and that thrilled you. 
“Do you wanna watch the movie now?” you teased, brushing a strand of her behind her ear. 
“I think the movie can wait, because I wanna do that again.” she laughed, pulling you back in for another sweet kiss.
tags (join here!) : @sourapplebaby @harringtown @jxnehxpper @charmed-asylum @heart-eye-harrington @daddystevee @a-magey @lemonypink @igotmadskills @ilovebucketbarnes @simplesammyx @willowrose99
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