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ootahime · 3 years

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what is utahime’s role in the future? — a prediction (manga spoilers)

part 1 (unedited)

I WAS ABOUT TO POST IT BUT I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT AND I WAS SO HURT FR!!!!! I HAD REWRITE THIS ENTIRE THING </33

part 2 is here!

in this post, i will be analyzing the information we’ve been given about utahime so far to form a prediction about her future role in the jujutsu kaisen series. if you’re as interested in utahime’s character as i am, please feel free to keep reading :3 (i’ll also be talking about her relationship with gojo a bit too)

soukatsu_ on twt!

kaikaikitan on twt!

utahime iori is a semi-grade 1 sorcerer working as a student supervisor/teacher at kyoto jujutsu high school. she loves drinking beer and going to karaoke. she’s also close friends with shoko and she’s not particularly fond of gojo most of the time. what else do we know about her?

hates sweets (funny she’s the complete opposite of gojo)

she’s great at singing and it’s a huge part of her technique

squabbling with gojo became a reflex :3

everyone absolutely adores utahime

loves watching soccer and baseball

a terrible drunk (worse than naobito zenin)

gojo is her main source of stress

let’s dive into her personality and abilities!

chapter 65

before i get into it, i think it’d be best if i were to explain the timeline because a lot of people seem to be confused about this one particular thing. utahime is born on february 18th, 1987. contrary to popular belief, she is not 3 years older than gojo. it is november 2018 in the story because gojo was sealed on halloween. if gojo was born on december 7th, 1989, that would mean that right now, he is only 28 years old. he has yet to turn 29.

the year is 2007. gojo satoru is a second year at tokyo jujutsu high school. the japanese school year begins in april which suggests that gojo is only 17 at the time (even if it’s not april, it doesn’t look like winter yet so it’s unlikely that he’s already 18). utahime is 20 because it is past february. she is a 2nd grade sorcerer at the age of 20. that’s not bad at all!

chapter 65 introduces young utahime and mei on a mission together within a cursed site. in real time, they’ve been gone for two days which is a cause of concern for gojo, shoko, and geto because the two haven’t contacted anyone since the beginning of their mission. the two begin to suspect something is wrong because the hallway markers they’ve set in place disappeared, and no matter how far they travel within the halls, the end is nowhere in sight. mei theorizes that the cursed spirit is overlapping the space as they travel forward. utahime agrees with this speculation and proposes a plan to escape the cursed spirit’s grasp by moving erratically. notice how she says that if one of them should escape, they can try to attack from the outside or call for help. if utahime was not capable of inflicting damage on anything then she would have told mei to escape and attack if she can while she waited to be rescued. however, she didn’t. she included herself in the sentence which leads me to believe that she is capable of going on the offense if needed.

keep in mind that at this point in time, mei is a grade 1 sorcerer. she is knowledgeable about all things involving jujutsu because she is experienced and skillful. we can see this aspect of her character illustrated when she theorizes that the cursed spirit is messing with the space they’re in. she chooses to go with utahime’s plan because she agrees that it’s the best action moving forward. this verifies that utahime is an intelligent girl that’s able to get along with pretty much anyone.

her intellect is demonstrated once again in chapter 79. she was able to deduce the possibility of there being more than one traitor and the fact that one is probably a higher up. she also narrowed down the mechamaru as the mole of kyoto not because he was acting suspicious but by process of elimination. she thought thoroughly of his technique and how easy it would be for him to manipulate devices small enough to be undetectable.

sure you can argue that she should already know all her students’ abilities and whatnot but you have to admit that it’s hard trying to sniff out the traitor when no one is acting suspicious. in addition to that, how did she know that there was a traitor in the top brass? i would have never guessed that tbh LOL (maybe bc im an idiot).

okay, now that we have established that she’s intelligent, let’s answer a more important question. is utahime weak?

chapter 33

if gojo calls utahime weak, does that mean there is some truth to it? well it is true that she is weaker than him because he’s the strongest and all. in my opinion, he’s just teasing her. he probably found that calling her weak is what really riles her up. maybe i’ll talk about why he loves teasing her so much in a later post. but anyway, gojo calls everybody and their mom weak. he even said jogo was weak and we know how powerful that guy is. gojo’s words alone do not indicate much about utahime’s power. in fact, i don’t even think he has seen her use her technique yet. he’s probably only ever heard of how it works. this is what i think their conversation about her technique was like:

gojo: hm? ur cursed technique is singing? can u show me?

utahime: what! no way!

gojo: why not?

*one of the classmates tells him that she can only use her CT once in a while because it consumes a lot of energy*

gojo: hahaha! u have to conserve cursed energy to use ur CT? why are u so weak, utahime?

utahime: i! am! your! senpai! respect! me!

what i’m trying to say is that gojo loves poking fun of people. we should not believe him when he calls someone weak because compared to him, everyone is weak.

this is a little off topic but let’s examine him telling her, “and you don’t have the nerves, utahime.” i think he’s trying to say that there’s no way she’ll ever do something like that because she’s not the type to put her students in danger. remember the soft expression and relieved smile on her lips when she said that she was glad the students were safe after the kyoto incident? gojo was directly in front of her so not only did he hear her say that, but he could have seen the look on her face too. even if he told her that she didn’t have the guts to betray the school to get on her nerves, he knew that utahime simply cared too much about the students so he ruled her out as a suspect right away. this is why he ultimately decided to confide in her and ask her to help him.

i’m a person who loves over-analyzing things. i really enjoy the dynamic between gojo and utahime. they’ve known each other for more than 11 years and although they always bicker, there is an unspoken feeling of trust between the two. gojo can do anything and everything by himself because he is truly the strongest person alive, but he still knows when to rely on others. him deciding to entrust utahime with such a job implies that he believes in utahime’s abilities.

chapter 52

she’s not using any cursed energy here--not to our knowledge at least. this is just pure skill. she was able to swiftly evade the swing from haruta. he was surprised himself considering the fact that he was right behind her. how do we know her CT isn’t speed? after haruta swung at her, we can see that some of her hair got cut off. if she was using her CT then speed should be her specialty. she should have been able to completely avoid the attack altogether but she didn’t. of course this isn’t a wow moment because jujutsu sorcerers should know how to dodge attacks, however, i’m just trying to get the point across that she’s not a defenseless person without her technique or others. let’s not forget that semi-grade 1 isn’t a weak rank either. you can’t simply be recommended to be a grade 1 sorcerer if you only can support others.

chapter 48

i want to bring up this panel. it suggests that utahime and takuma are sorcerers who have not experienced black flash and therefore, do not understand the essence of cursed energy as well as those who have like gojo and nanami. i find it strange how takuma and utahime were used to represent sorcerers who haven’t experienced it yet. is the purpose to demonstrate that there is a clear difference in skill between adult sorcerers like utahime and takuma compared to gojo and nanami? i could be nitpicking but the order of todo’s statement doesn’t line up with the sorcerers being shown. let me explain in depth. todo starts off by saying, “for those who have experienced black flash as compared to those who have not...” wouldn’t it make more sense to show gojo and nanami on the right side to represent sorcerers who have experienced black flash? that was mentioned first, after all. gojo and nanami should appear when todo says “for those who have experience black flash” while utahime and takuma should be shown right after to personify the second part, “as compared to those who have not.” i’m just making it more complicated than it actually is LOLOL i’m sure it really just means they haven’t experienced black flash yet, which is completely fine. i also find it fascinating how they used utahime to contrast gojo. with nanami and takuma it makes sense. nanami is someone takuma looks up to, he wants to gain nanami’s approval before he deems himself worthy of a promotion. what about utahime and gojo? what’s the purpose of comparing those two together when it’s obvious that gojo knows more about the essence of cursed energy more than anyone else? i might be delusional whoops

----

let me know what you guys think? this is only a part 1 so i haven’t gotten around to answering the question. i’m pretty much done with the second part, i just need to revise it a little. i think after i post part 2, i’ll try to interpret all the gojo and utahime moments in the manga >.<

#gojohime #gouta #gojo x utahime

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insanityconflict · 3 years

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Ok so no one else will talk about this and ur the only one I've seen that hasn't just paired Hank off with 2b just bc dei n San are already together in their hcs- (I love me some 2bhank don't get me wrong, but I feel like that's wasting so much potential for this characters, ESPECIALLY 2b who I only ever see in content bc it's 2bhank content, and is rarely explored outside of that. And like- they never do Hank learning how to care for others either- dhsjs-) BUT I saw ur 2bford post and Ive been thinking, bc for ur thing to happen dei has to- well- die, and they're comforting eachother because there's literally NO other person that's an option for human comfort, so their kinda pushed into that otherwise they'll spiral, but then I realized that even when the others are alive 2b will kinda instinctively turn to San for comfort anyways, (much like dei does-) Deimos death or no. I find it that dei will want to TRY to comfort 2b, but generally is used to using humor to ease situations, and humor doesn't feel like it'd help the type of person that 2b is, so I feel like sans mom friend personality will spark up him comforting 2b during a night where 2b refuses to sleep or something. (Which this time, UNLIKE dei who I feel like would be the one to go to Sanford first, for like hugs n shit.) I just love ur post bc it opened my eyes to the potential of these characters outside of just throwing two together and not regarding canon, slapping a sugar coating on their trust and personalities that makes em softer. I love LOVE those fics and their great, but there isn't enough where people actually explore the canon personalities, and try to make it work and make sense anyways, even with all the setbacks. Anyways ily have a great day <3

blinks. holy shit. NBMASNGBASG??? THANK YOU?? im glad im able to open up a lot of people's minds to a more canon approach to their relationships. yeah, i love me some 2bhank too, but in all honesty i just dont see it working out at all. sure, there can be attempts, but hank's never going to be the relationship kind of person. at least not long-term. im a person that has the idea of them being together at some point, but splitting up because their differences and own personal problems got in the way of everything. because of this, they're still on edge with each other, and i want to make that apparent.

but i also dont want hank to be a mindless asshole, yknow? he actually goes through serious character development throughout the series, and it shows!! he may start out like a machine built just for murder, but if you look at hank from, say, a project nexus standpoint and then compare it to the time he saves sanford's ass in mc10? he's gone from being able to kill his own teammates to get what he wants to realizing that he's actually formed an attachment, and that having someoen by his side can make things so much easier in the long run. sure, he's still a bastard, but that doesn't mean he refuses to show a softer side to himself.

what i like about madness combat as a whole is that there's so much character in each individual frame alone for us to pick apart and analyze. you can tell that when sanford sees deimos' dead body for the first time that he's actually upset, but he doesn't have the time to grieve or mourn because hey, something is actively trying to kill him too. it makes you think about what would have happened if he DID have that time. or what happens after things slow down, if they ever do.

even with doc's short screen time, you can tell he's a cranky individual. but if you were to look into mpn2's arena mode storyline (yes, im bringing this up because it's actually interesting), he has SO much more personality. he's crazy fucking smart, and he doesn't take any bullshit. hell he runs a bunch of vampires over with a car and brushes it off like it was nothing. he's a badass and no one would be able to tell unless they looked to madcom's other medias, at least until the next episode drops.

my point is that it's worth doing the character studies. yeah, you can craft your own world where things are completely different and everyone's happy with each other, and that's completely fine!! i just like a more realistic approach to canon, and i do my research to make sure i'm getting things right. it's worth it in the long run because i have so much to work with, and a lot of personality i can develop in the characters themselves. it makes for a great story if you know what to do with it.

this was long, sorry, but i enjoy talking about these things. i LOVE seeing other people's headcannons and aus, especially where things get better, but then i look at mine and get so sad because things are just so fucked up there JHBSAMGDABMASDG but hey!! madness in general is fucked up if you know where to look. i'm a kind of person that loves crafting theories so the more deep and disturbing lore really gets the old rusty gears turning ;)

#asks #madness combat #yeah this is going in the main tags

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writinginstability · 6 years

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Deviating Love Affair - Part 1

Prologue

Soulmate AU with DBH Connor

Pair: Connor x Female! Reader

Prompt: In this universe, you are supposed to receive a tattoo of your soulmate’s name on your 18th birthday. However, you being the lucky winner, never received one on that special day. After years go by, you began to accept the fact that maybe you were never destined to have a soulmate until one day, on August 5th, 2038, you see a certain individual’s name gets written on your wrist. Not only is it odd that your soulmate tattoo wasn’t given to you on your 18th birthday but that in reality, your soulmate isn’t even human.

Word count: 1320 words

A/N: I just wanted to drop by and say thank you for all of your kind words on the prologue. I was so overwhelmed (in a good way) and I’m so glad to see that you all are excited about this series. Just an FYI, I’m not planning on making this series very long (since I like shorter more thought out series) but we’ll play it by ear. I hope you guys enjoy the first part of“Deviating Love Affair”! If you guys would like to be added/removed from the tag list, please send me an ask (it is much easier to track)!

Months went by and you still had not met your destined significant other. Within the first couple of weeks, after you had finally received your tattoo, you were both excited and eager to find this man named Connor. However, as you kept reaching dead ends and going on crappy dates, you slowly began to give up. This was nothing new to you; you had spent years having no soulmate tattoo, no indicator that the universe had a person who was destined to belong with you. Waiting a little longer wouldn’t do you any harm.

You looked outside of your kitchen window and watched the rain as you waited for the water to finish boiling so you could brew your tea. You had decided to take advantage of your night off by catching up on your favorite book. Once the kettle began to whistle, you grabbed the nearest hand towel and carefully poured the hot water into your cup. You placed the kettle back on the stove and made your way to the couch before getting yourself comfortable and opening up your book.

What only felt like minutes (in reality it had been nearly an hour), you received a call from the one and only Jeffrey Fowler. You groaned internally before you answered the phone, “Hello?”

“I am putting you in charge of the deviancy cases with Hank. Your first one is at 6413 Pines Street, Detroit. Get there right now and wait for him before you start the investigation, that is if he even shows up.”

“But today is my day off,” you muttered under your breath.

“You said you wanted more work out on the field so that’s what I’m giving you, now get moving and don’t complain.”

Without another word, Fowler had hung up the phone. You sighed in frustration before you got up from your comfortable position to get ready to leave. You picked up your phone with the intention of calling Hank; however, you quickly stopped yourself knowing damn well that he was out drinking and wanted nothing to do with androids or this investigation.

Once you reached the address Fowler had given you, you decided to wait on the patio and out of the rain. Collins emerged from inside and made his way to you. “Is Anderson coming?”

“Not sure,” you started, “but I highly doubt that he will.”

After about an hour and a half of waiting, you finally noticed Hank’s beat up Oldsmobile making its way through the crowd of people on the street, all desperate to see why the DPD was here at this time of day. You watched as Hank got out of the driver’s seat and made his way towards you. “You’re late,” you said.

“Well at least I’m here aren’t I?” Hank replied.

“To be completely honest, I really didn’t think you would show up.”

“Yeah well that was the plan until this asshole showed up,” Hank replied while gesturing to an Android that you failed to notice.

You looked at the android up and down before looking back at Hank and saying, “You...and an android….together? Man, you are full of surprises today,” you said with a smile.

“Oh shut it,” he said, walking past you.

“Let the poor guy in,” you said to the android cop refraining Hank’s Android from entering the vicinity. You watched as the Android made his way to you before stopping front of you. You examined his jacket and noticed his model number, RK800, a model you did not recognize. “I’m (Y/N) by the way,” you said.

To your discretion, Connor had already analyzed everything he needed to know about you, your name, how you were the youngest on the force, how you had no criminal records, basic information like that. However, he found himself intrigued with your presence, how you leaned on your left foot with your arms crossed in front of you, how your hair blew in the wind, and how your eyes lit up when you smiled.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^

“My name is Connor, I’m the android sent by Cyberlife.”

You froze. The name Connor rung in your head making you immediately glance at your wrist, the same name written with dark blue ink in simplistic writing. Could he be the one you were looking for? He couldn’t be, right? He wasn’t a human, he was an android. You had not waited this long for an Android.

“Officer?” Connor’s voice snapped you back to reality, “Are you alright? You haven’t said a word in over 46 seconds.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

“Shall we begin the investigation?” he asked while gesturing to the door.

“Yes. Yes of course,” you said quickly before stepping inside.

You silently watched Connor throughout the entirety of the investigation, admiring his ability to gather evidence and quickly piece together the events of the crime, in the proper order. Additionally, you found yourself studying his movements, how his eyebrows would furrow slightly when he was analyzing evidence or when piecing information together, or how he would give his full undivided attention to you or Hank whenever either one of you spoke.

Little did you know that Connor was examining you in the same light. He noticed the little things you did like how you would tap your fingers against your thighs or how you would suck in your lips whenever you were in deep thought. He also found your subtle eye rolls, whenever you were annoyed with someone’s commentary, to be very entertaining.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^

Connor also noticed how you kept glancing at your wrist. He watched as you ran your thumb lightly over your skin with an intense look etched on your face. Connor, full of curiosity, wanted to ask you about the significance of your arm; however, before he could do so, Hank had called him over to discuss the clues. Connor was slightly relieved to be interrupted since he knew he could not have any distractions if it meant locating the deviant and completing his mission overall. However, a part of him wanted to know more about you as if something was gravitating him towards you. Connor shook this “feeling” away and concentrated on his task at hand, and in the end, successfully located the deviant.

You smiled as you watched the police androids take the deviant away. You glanced back at Connor who was talking with Hank. You noticed that Connor wasn’t like most androids, aside from all of his tech and abilities, he seemed different overall. You quickly waved at Hank and Connor letting the two of them know that you were leaving before making your way to your car.

Before you could open the door, you heard the sound of running footsteps followed by the words, “Officer!”

You turned around and noticed that it was Connor who was calling for you. “Yes Connor?” you asked with a warm smile.

Now it was Connor’s turn to be a loss for words. For the first time in his short life, he did not know his reasons for his actions. He truthfully did not know why he had run to you or why he had stopped you in your tracks. All he knew was that your smile blew him away, something which had never happened to him in his life. After a couple of seconds, Connor was finally able to formulate words and said, “Well, it has been a pleasure working with you tonight. I hope to see you again soon?” He asked.

“Something tells me we’ll be seeing each other a lot in the future,” you replied with a small smile, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m really tired and would very much like to go home.”

“Yes of course,” he said before taking a step back allowing you to open your car door.

“Goodnight Connor,” you said with a smile before stepping into your car and driving away.

“Goodnight (Y/N).”

Next Part!

Tag List: @girlonthebalcony , @layinglonely , @liveloveandbekind , @pickelope , @avorstori, @dragonempress123 , @i-heart-movies , @moonlitsunset3 , @lydiafrye , @ashura-y , @enderspider , @mapangx3 , @vlkryia , @derpydanandphil , @connorfixinghistie , @x-wingwarriorbbpoe8 , @bithepowerofgay , @jessblucifer , @datweirdname , @sarcastic-fuckery , @aklesiz , @pokengirl2 , @seoulxbts , @i-do-wat-i-want , @fuckthatfeeling , @skylawolfstarlight , @freakhalo , @lumpysei, @kurooislittlekitty , @thiriiyum , @ladye11e , @crashintothewall , @purpstraw , @hufflepuffing-all-day-long , @satanic-telephone , @callalilyiskewl, @ultramajorfandomtrash, @sweetlittleviper , @yeah-im-c-r-a-b-b-y , @itybitynovak , @rogueajz , @racrneko , @heypartypeps, @bad-blue-moon-rising , @nerdy-marisie , @phangengar, @lunarlexycon, @noythe , @tayshipping , @kazuha159 , @unprofessional-inhumanbeing , @fineactually , @poodlegods , @mei7298 , @aya-fay , @xlexiiiiiiimakeup , @baguetteslayer , @classy-stars, @crystal-birds-love

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vicsep7250 · 5 years

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And so, at the end of the base game of KH3, on Critical Mode, I have died and "lost my game" a total of -

104 times.

If you would like to see what caused the number to grow so big, check it out here.

If you would like to take a look at my thoughts of the game, as a game to play and as a story to experience, I'll put this under a "read more" when I'm on PC bc I'm probably gonna write a lot.

KH3 and Critical Mode as a game to play.

First things first, I want to mention and make clear I have not touched a console KH game in about 8~10 years - the last game I ever played without 100% completion or on Critical/Proud Mode being the original Kingdom Hearts 2. Obviously from what I'd played long ago pales in comparison towards 3 and the mechanics.

The floaty combat and system felt comfortable and right when I played the game, and in times where I died it never felt like it was bc Critical Mode was kicking my ass bc of the other games jank difficulty spikes. All of my failures and deaths were all bc of me making mistakes and not understanding the mechanics at those times, which is different from the other games in series (or so I've been told and made to understand). In comparison to how other games had arbitrary and ill-attempted "ultimate" difficulty settings, KH3 did it right with it being a test to the series veterans with muscle memory from prior games, and allowing new players (technically me in this scenario) a fair chance at a hard difficulty to start and test themselves if they so choose to.

I know I'm probably not stating anything new from other reviews and analysis of the game and Critical Mode, but I wanted to reiterate this point anyhow.

Kingdom Hearts 3 is a fun game that balances it's difficulty with the player's skills and understandings of its mechanics. It's a fun game to play if solely to just play a game, and that's great to me - it can allow players to just pick it up with no care to the story if the don't care about it and just invest themselves into the gameplay.

KH3 as a story to the audience.

The Kingdom Hearts series is well know for its outlandish and incredulous story of "hearts and light and darkness", one that has been nit-picked and over-analyzed to all of its faults, mainly the writing and ret-conning of the plot and characters and everything. That is still relevant here even in the finale, in the ending where everything about the story and characters and plots are meant to have properly developed and brought closure to the audience with everything in the series and/or franchise. Bc we can't have proper development and closure to KH now can we coughseasaltriocoughKairicoughXehanortsmotivationcough?

3 follows the lore and story telling method that Dream Drop Distance has with focusing on this games story and plot points, and having a Glossary and Spark Notes tab for the points that reference or are directly involved with the previous installments. This is still a good way to allow player new and old to pick up the game and play it when they either have little to no experience with the series, or if they have experience with the series (either recent to KH2.8 or in my case from the OG KH2).

While the characters were given the obvious tropes that they blatantly forced fed us with most cutscenes (Trinity Trio dissing on Sora [pls dont do this the boy could suffer serious damage and mental breakdowns in reality], Kairi and Lea being cool chums, etc [IcouldbemakingthisupIdunnoitfeltlikeit]) it also had potential for more Actual character development between the characters we followed and grew up with.

It also ruined any potential for Xehanort to have some redeeming qualities as a villain but naw, just the usual cliche "The world sucks and Im gonna fixit by killing it" motive.

Naw das cool, totally wasn't this loafty goal of finding the truth about the series Namesake that we all thought he was going for, or for shits and giggles and experimenting with what ifs and whatnot back in BBS. Nope. Just an old man yelling at clouds... honestly kinda ruined the mood for me.

All in all KH3 followed the same story telling pattern that DDD has, and how if it was the first game of the series you played you didn't really need to play the others like with 1 and 2. Still have some questions about the series but eh, ces la vi.

My Thoughts

Honestly as a whole, I loved the game. Sure there were moments where I needed to stop and keep my cool, but playing on Critical Mode made my week playing it. It was a challenging and fun experience to play through.

The whole retconning of Xemnas and the Seeker of Darkness still left me disappointed despite the new and little character development they had (making me believe SoD and Xemnas are weird homunculus of Terra and Xehanort as different people) and the Plot Device for the final fight just sucked as was bad, no sugar coating there, but I'll still keep this game and everything within close to my heart.

Growing up and living my life alongside this series, I'm glad I was able to experience it all the way through from start to finish.

I may not have played all of them (BBS and DDD) but I still learned and experienced the story and characters in however way I can, either with other playthroughs or through Everglow's videos and such, but my love for this series will never die. I hope everyone gets to have these same feelings and experiences with whatever games they play, to reach some level of closure and finality, and to have fun and enjoy their stories with all the good and bad.

If any of you were keeping tabs on me and my run, I'll be going on a New Game + Lvl 1 run so you can expect that in the future. If I can, I'll find a way to stream it, but if I cant then I'll just be doing live posts like my original run through.

Here's to the future and what it may hold, for Square, the franchise, and to all of us who waited so long for this story.

May our hearts be our guiding key, got it memorized?

#kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 3 #trash talks #my trash #critical mode #xehanort #kairi #sora

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abyss-mal-blog1 · 5 years

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current mind-space//word vomit

it’s amazing how much can change in a few days, but it hasn’t been a week since my finals ended and i already felt so different. i have been doing f45 everyday this week (if not then some kind of workout, but i’ve really been into that recently). i am feeling so much better now without deadlines, sometimes i don’t know if i function better under pressure or not. i guess not, but then it’s amazing how much i can do and achieve under pressure. i need the right amount of pressure, and this semester it has been a little difficult for me to get around that.

last friday was kinda my last day of finals, i just had an essay to submit, and i am disappointed in myself and my work ethic because i submitted it at 9pm, went to my cousin’s (disappointing) party, and then professor emailed me to say that she cannot read Pages format (seriously smh @ my tardiness!!!), only got back at 1am that night and sent my mediocre essay. i am a little sad about it because i know that is not my 100%. idk why but college so far has just been a series of 80% effort. this paper was an interesting one, on airbnb, on the sharing economy, it’s a performance studies paper where i analyze the hospitality platform in terms of host-user relationship, parasitism and (attempted) to talk about free online labor. it is a little too late now but i kinda want to work on it again and like, submit for feedback. maybe ill ask taylor.

last saturday was kinda meh, i agreed to go to a *social* kinda event at a bar/club at chelsea, held for Asian-ivy-alumni-people that yanlin invited me too. it was at up&up and honestly a little...i didn’t enjoy it at all. the music sucked, the people were either too dorky or gross or old or weird, and the whole time i just kept saying to myself, “never again”. they said it was open bar but they only served absolut, which was shit. and then my friend’s two friends were...i feel sorry that this was their first clubbing experience. at the beginning my reaction was look at all these ivy alumni! get hitched with one of them for ~da connectsx~ (and nothing else) but no kidding i was actually interested in talking to them just to get to know what people who graduated from ivies are up to, and what are they doing at such events...and are they actually enjoying themselves because it was really kinda gross. met my friend’s friend who seemed like a really smart engineer (he asked for my number the next day lol), and a german dude at the bar who didn’t want to get me a drink. all i needed that night was a drink.....(i’m glad i didn’t drink tho because recently drinking has made me feel all kinds of bad) we had ramen after at ramen-ya (most probably the worst ramen and charsiew i’ve had but what can we do at 3am and my friend wanted noodle and soup...)

on sunday i KNow i should have left my house earlier to workout but i didn’t. i was angry at myself that i didn’t. instead, i stayed at home and emotion-ate. i must have eaten more green bean soup than my stomach would have liked. what else...avocado? i remember..two bananas? god. this was the day i felt like i was n’s boyfriend because i had to do what she wanted to do. i know i had agreed on going, but at that point i really wanted to go thrifting or something. i mean when i got to central park it was fine and things were good but the whole day just felt like i was kinda pulled into doing something that wasn’t my first choice of plans, not that i didn’t enjoy myself lying under the sun at the park. it just felt like i was accompanying someone. i was half an hour late to meet her as well, and half heartedly got a burrito-wrap at newsbar. if you think about it it is really kinda funny, we’re just buying food and taking the subway to this grass patch 50 blocks away. we didn’t walk much, we literally only stayed at a little grassy slope overlooking the baseball pitch. anyway we went to a dance class after (the class was an hour long but i felt like n had asked me about when and what time we should book the classes for more than an hour by text so i just got really sick of it) i rushed home and got dinner with my uncle who’s in town for my cousin’s graduation. i was surprised that he chose the same japanese restaurant again, after dissing it half a year ago we ate here. the omakase was crazy and it cost 230 per person. (for the most expensive set) it was also kinda dumb because you aren’t allowed to order a different omakase set from anyone else - everyone on the table has to order the same - because of “timing”. i wonder if this is how it is in japanese omakase etiquette, but in any case it really earned them a hefty amount because my uncle decided to get 230 for all of us. qiyang didn’t like and said qiqi had bad taste, hahaha. the food wasn’t bad, i mean it’s japanese fusion, but the prices were way too steep for the taste. anyway enough about the food, during the dinner i think we talked about many things though. i kinda wanted to talk to my uncle individually because i think he is the only one who knows about ah gong, but he was sick, and i could tell he was exhausted. my aunt got a little impatient because i didn’t arrange plans to take their furniture and they were going to throw all of them away and it was actually the first time i’ve seen her get so worked up - but at the same time trying to control her emotions - because she was talking to me. i could tell she was annoyed though but i tried not to take it personally, and arranged it tomorrow.

arranging the moving stuff was kinda last minute, i was walking to the library for work one day and i saw a truck that said MakeSpace. i assumed it was a kind of moving company and so i looked them up. they seemed to be pretty okay in terms of their services and so i decided to try them out. confirmation and setting up an appointment went pretty smoothly, except for the part where the guy i think his name was joseph, asked me to give my credit card details over the phone. idk why i did that! i stopped though, and asked him why, to which he replied he wanted to key in with the coupon code. this service has so much gimmicks within the first 2-3 minutes on the phone he was already telling me about how the first pick up is free, and that he will deduct 100$ off the first month...when people give you discounts too easily it just feels like a ploy and a thing they give to everyone, it’s not anything special and it’s probably calculated inside whatever we have to pay. anyway, i was just thinking it would be cheaper (assuming the maximum that i would have to pay is ~$500, as i confirmed with them on the phone yesterday), it’d still be cheaper than starting an apartment lease now and going through the trouble of finding two subletters.

well. idk, it’s also easy to have things all moved in, i have to find a place to store my perishables!

moving is so much work, and storing things. this reminds me of my paper on airbnb and about the digital nomad lifestyle. it is interesting though, that this is what it has become. but the homogenized aesthetic is something i really cannot stand, in airbnb, in coffeeshops around the world..i am sure you know what i’m talking about. a new york times writer did something about this - he termed it “Airspace” - and apparently it originated from Brooklyn. I guess that’s where the art/avant-garde stuff started. well. keep a look out im gonna write a blogpost about that

moving on

nat came to sleepover on sunday night and a few days after because the school kicks you out of the dorms you pay so much for right after your final ends. i forgot if we did something fun but i probably just fell asleep.

on monday i think i went to f45 and did cardio at Dumbo with Gi. he seems like a pretty nice trainer, the first time i went it was him and another girl Bertha (i think my first f45 was last tuesday) and i felt like i had two personal trainers with me - Gi was cheering me on and Bertha was doing it with me. it felt like such a good workout, one of the best ive had in a while. then work, where i arranged the movers stuff. i also realized i bought the wrong date for my flight ticket as my friends and had to buy one more...............

tuesday was the same f45 in the morning, and the bobst after. didn’t really get much work done at bobst. oh i also viewed a 3BR flex at 160. hella expensive and small, and dates didn’t work out anyway. also the broker who brought us to view the apartment was a very nice tall french man and his name was jean-francois which i couldn’t pronounce and asked nat but still called him jean as in jeen instead of john. this is why i have to learn french. you’re embarrassing. i also went to the itp/ima spring show with shubham which was super cool. there were many cool ideas, and i just wonder if i could create something like that. i didn’t get to see all of the exhibits which i regret, but i remember a few notable projects. one was an installation made with keyboards that randomly clicks, but when you hold your phone up it’ll stop. it’s made using 3d gestures. there’s also one at a gallery for surveillance, this team had a thing they call facebox, and it’s literally a box, that when you open it has a webcam that would capture your face, find you on facebook, and print out an invoice/receipt on how much you have earned for this giant tech company. what else...an AR project that when you scan a food, it shows you where the food comes from. nat said that she would love it if menus have something they could scan and then have pictures appear in ~holographic~ format, or maybe in the nearer future something on your phone that shows you a picture of the picture of the food. but isn’t it a surprise tho? sometimes the fun’s in the surprise, you read the description, you know what are the foods you’ll eat, leaving room to imagine or be surprised by how the chef puts it together! anyway, went for dinner with nat and jenny - got vegan shwarma (definitely wasn’t worth $14) and went to get crepes with will after.

wednesday we were gonna go to the dmv but we weren’t prepared. nat also needed to get her passport and she was lazy. wow the number of times i mentioned her, it feels like she’s my boyfriend at this point. talked to famz, sister, and beatrix. am currently considering if i should even go to beijing or just go straight home. fuck. went to bobst for work but no one was there i was just really sleepy. viewed an apartment at 55 morton (it’s a nice quiet residential street that seems to be tucked away from the loud cars and bars and people) then i went to f45 again-varsity!!! cardio!!!, walked across brooklyn bridge (a little regret although i wanted to walk, but my bag was heavy and there were too many tourists to brisk walk)

also the reason for this is that after my soba/miso/salad/shrimp dinner last night i was just watching a bunch of netflix shows and it was probably the caffeine from puerto rican roasting company - the barista made me a chai cappuccino with almond milk (3 SHOTS!!!)

me and nat couldn’t sleep, i really think i slept for an hour. i watched so many different shows, yoko and john’s documentary, while we were young, anthony bourdain, i was seriously flipping through all the shows and alternating between amazonprme and youtube and netflix and i even tried watching peaceful cuisine and making the brightness lower and had the sleep mode on and wow i just couldn’t sleep

so yeah the birth of this word vomit

i am going to create more things

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tayegi · 7 years

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im crying not only bc of your amazing writing, but bc i was scrolling thru my dashboard and i saw you answering all these asks about new rules and i’m so dump thinking that you set up new rules or sthg, i didn’t understand it so i read all those asks and fucking spoiled myself kmp, but on another note yOU FUCKING ROCK OMG NEW RULES IS SO AMAZING I LOVE IT 💘💘💘

Anonymous said:I'M LOVING NEW RULES SO MUCH just wanted to show my support. i love your writing in general don't get me wrong but new rules is messing with my heart and it's amazing

Anonymous said:Hi! I just read both parts for "New Rules" and I loved them! If this goes in the same direction as Dua Lipa sings (I guess it will) it sounds like it'll be very interesting. I love how everyone in the story is human, not just good or bad, you know? 90% of fics would've made Mijoo the stereotypical barbie bitch, but you didn't and I was pleasantly surprised! I also feel very identified with the OC. I really want her to open up and discover who JK really is, whoever that is. Keep up the good work!

jabaelashit said:Hey! i already wrote you a message on one of your posts but i just wanted to say that i am feeling so skabakks right now, I can't stop thinking about new rules and i'm torn between crying or crying but w angsty. I hope oc learns her worth and can understand she's just as amazing as mijoo, even better if we're talking about morals but oh well people fuck up:( I'm glad she forgave her but I hope she distances from her cause that gurl ain't having the same respect for the friendship as oc/1

jabaelashit said:and i also hope she gets to tell jimin her feelings not to like make him break stuff w mijoo, but to let him know she hadnt seen the note and to release some pressure and feelings cause oc bottles up so much and i just want to go and hug her and don't leave her until she understands shes fucking badass and cool and that the way she thinks is 👏👏👏 lu you've made me feel such a diverse amount of emotions i don't know what to do w myself anymore, your writing is amazing! love love loove you❣/2

Anonymous said:Hey!!:) idk if this is the right place to send compliments cause im really new to tumblr but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR FICS. Tbh I'd buy it if you published a physical compilation;)

Anonymous said:Wow for the longest time I was searching your old username; idek why cause I’ve known you changed your username and have been keeping up to date with you LMAO this is what being sick and delirious does to me. ANYWAYS! Hope you’re not too down with the crazy anons your story is great and I’m thankful for the dynamic characterizations you create! It makes it so much more interesting cause you create many characters with depth!!

Anonymous said:Can I please just have your writing talent? The OC is just so real, and that moment when she's deciding what to do with Mijoo, and what she actually says at the end.... I can't actually put my thoughts into words. I'm legit stunned by the sheer amount of emotions I felt reading the second chapter. I genuinely adore the banter between JK and OC, I personally prefer people to be more direct with what they want, so I already appreciate them, but also Jimin's convo with OC... (1/2)

Anonymous said:Jimin's convo with OC... Idk about these other anons going off on Mijoo, I was more thinking 'why didn't Jimin chase the note?' and then he would have had his answer then and there. But that might have just been me... And also, thinking back to it now, when JK said 'I need you' and OC repeated it back to him like super softly, like she was surprised oh god, okay, my heart is breaking even more for OC now, idk if I'm reading too much into it. I love you Lu, I hope you're well, and happy! (2/2)

Anonymous said:I love your fics so much!! The sass is real esp with jungkook 😂

Anonymous said:Anyways do ya thang hunny ✨ Keep wrecking me with your writings 💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨😩

Anonymous said:Read part 1 of New Rules and was like yeah thisll be fun, I'll have a great time. Then I read part 2 and ended up shedding some real tears at the end?!?! LU WHAT THE...... But really though its so nice to read a fic where the OC values friendship. The idea that its always girls against girls makes me sad.. we should be sticking together!!

Anonymous said:so... surprise surprise, dis gon be about new rules 😂 but I really wanted to thank you for adding so much of the oc's inner dialogue, and making her such a character in the first place. a lot of fics do not portray ocs with more defeatist attitudes, but yours does and I was glad, because I could finally relate to a fic :) also, coming back to the inner dialogue thing, it was so in depth that i could really feel what the oc was feeling, what she was going through. it was amazing ❤️ thank you!

Anonymous said:Man this is one hell of a good fic i’m highly anticipating the next chapter!!! Even though it seems like traditional frat fuckboy x ‘i hate frat bois but ye i’d fuck u’ type of girl it still is in a way a little different i just can’t quite catch how but nonetheless it’s amazing!!! Keep up the good work babe

oceanjoon said:ok so ur newest fic new rules literally is so real n relatable !! like honestly i understand seeking physical comfort in people u dont care about wen u r feeling down/insecure to validate urself n it just rlly hit home

kyarybunny said:Lu. At this point I have so many compliments to give you I can't really form it all properly. But I really am enjoying New Rules and this plot you're breathing life into! It's a different facet of your writing and I love how you can interpret every character's actions in a few different ways. Thank you for continuing to write and I hope you enjoy writing as much as we do reading/analyzing.

Anonymous said:Istg when I read the new chapter of New Rules I clenched my fist like that Arthur meme when it came up to the part about mijoo and the note. Girl got me heated lol. As usual, your works do not disappoint! I love your wittiness and how it shines in your writing. The remarks and dialogue in all of your series really proves your talent. You’re truly a gem amongst fanfic writers 💕☺️📢

Anonymous said:i was happily reblogging a few things on my dash and ch1 of new rules just came and i started reading WHERE THE FUCK DID I GET MY ASS INTO???!!!???!?! IT'S FUCKING AMAZING i don't know why i didn't start reading before. don't you ever dare stop writting, you're such a good writter and i enjoy your works very very much

Anonymous said:OC DESERVES HAPINESS JUST AS MUCH AS MIJOO. OC SHOULDVE PUT HERSELF AND HER HAPPINESS BEFORE HER FRIEND'S BECAUSE SHE IS TOO GOOD FOR ALL OF THEM DJFJFJ i hope one day jimin finds out about her feelings :(

Anonymous said:new rules just keeps getting better and better 😻😻

Anonymous said:Wow.. Okay.. I do believe chapter 2 of New Rules has officially ruined me. My heart was actually beating so fast through out the whole chapter, and it's still racing now too. I've thought this multiple times while reading your fics, but you're writing really is incredible. Your characters and the way you describe their emotions is so unbelievably relatable that the reader can't help but be sucked in. I always find myself becoming invested in your characters! Thank you for all the adventures!

Anonymous said:I felt so bad for the OC this chapter ;.; If I were in her position, I'd probably do the same since causing a scene is yes, immature and not worth the energy. But, if i could be a character in New Rules I'd probably be the other best friend who'll be like "guurl, confront her ass it isnt an excuse just because she's your friend." All in all I see the OC as the kind of person who'll go out of their way to care for someone to the point of disregarding their own feelings, which is unhealthy :( (1)

Anonymous said:(2) but thats what makes her such a relatable character. I really, really like that in your OCs. This is probably the second OC i emotionally relate to, first is Copper Girl. But yeah I'm just distracting myself from assignments lol this series is amazing and just you are amazing Lu!!!! ily!!!!! PS. Jungkook is still agsjshskll he's cocky but with OC he's quite vulnerable. I wonder why? Is it just a front or does he have other intentions?

Anonymous said:alternative ending to new rules: mijoo and mc are over their respective boys, does not bother to get into any messy scenarios like that ever again, love each other and support each other and is forever the friendship that everyone envies anD I HATE THIS SITUATION SO MUCH GODDAMMIT LU!!! UR REALLY TRYING TO TEAR MY HEART APART!!

marchxseptember said:OH MY GOD CHAPTER TWO IS UP. I HAD A FEELING SO I HAD TO CHCK UR ACC AND I WAS RIGHT. BRB GONNA READ

marchxseptember said:AND THE PLOT THICKENS. I JIST FINISHED READING CH. 2 AND I AM FUCKED UP. I HAD A THEORY BEFORE BUT NOW I HAVE LIKE 2 MORE IM CONFUSED. I LOVED IT SOOO MUCH. AND I HATE MIJOO NOW. I CANT WAITT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN. THIS WAS SO GOOD LU.

omg the amount of response ive gotten for new rules is unbelievable. I dont think ppl were even this into equilibrium. the last time u guys acted like this was during the golden boy trilogy and it really feels so good to have this again.

thank you all for your thoughtful messages and for giving this ridiculous little fic a chance. I love you all

#new rules #keehyung #lu answers

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