#i havent been updating this tag bc i havent really had the motivation to make posts but yes im still in happyland rereading this book

[britneyshakespeare]

Accordingly, I told Agnes about my declaration of poverty, about the cookery book, the housekeeping accounts, and all the rest of it. "Oh, Trotwood!" she remonstrated, with a smile. "Just your old headlong way! You might have been in earnest in striving to get on in the world, without being so very sudden with a timid, loving, inexperienced girl. Poor Dora!" I never heard such sweet forbearing kindness expressed in a voice, as she expressed in making this reply. It was as if I had seen her admiringly and tenderly embracing Dora, and tacitly reproving me, by her considerate protection, for my hot haste in fluttering that little heart. It was as if I had seen Dora, in all her fascinating artlessness, caressing Agnes, and thanking her, and coaxingly appealing against me, and loving me with all her childish innocence. I felt so grateful to Agnes, and admired her so! I saw those two together, in a bright perspective, such well-associated friends, each adorning the other so much!

David Copperfield by Charles Dickens, Chapter 39: Wickfield and Heep

#diana rereads david copperfield #i havent been updating this tag bc i havent really had the motivation to make posts but yes im still in happyland rereading this book #AND THAT'S THAT ON THE RIVALRY BETWEEN AGNES AND DORA #seriously it's been 5 years and i still can't get over the stigma ppl attach to dora that i REALLY do not think is supported by the text #dora is an imperfect character. and often in dickens ppl associate imperfection with unworthiness. #dora IS worthy. like i cant get over it. she has all the right friends sympathizing with her #but so much of the audience do not sympathize w her faults or her backstory at all #despite it having sooooo much in common with david's mother. who no one ever argues is supposed to be unsympathetic! #dickens #david copperfield #agnes wickfield #dora spenlow #dora has all the faults that ppl don't care to sympathize with real beautiful young women who have been condescended to all their lives. #she feels incompetent she feels she has no control in anything. her best friend is her dog for a reason #bc jip doesn't expect anything of her but to love and care for him. she is not one of her masters #and for that matter she is less of a master of jip than she is his indulging friend. #in the saddest sense. jip and dora are equals. jip represents all the control that dora has in the world (very little) #and she loves jip. and many ppl love dora. but no one has any more expectations of her than the dog. #ppl accept her subservience. #ppl act like dora is just frivolous and doesn't care about making david's life any easier when she doesn't believe she can help him w thing #like domestic duties. but EVERYONE in dora's life tells david NOT to expect anything of her. #she is only REPEATING what everyone has already been telling her AND him the whole time. she has no self-efficacy #dora spenlow is a tragic heroine. love it or leave it

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

personal complaining time (not fandom related lol) bc that last tag game got me nostalgic and thinkin 

man i’m just really bummed that covid full stop halted my modeling side business. like i was in such a great position at the start of this year after all the networking and shoots I did in 2019 (two big bridal modeling trips with 10 person teams, 5 outdoor art modeling sessions, reconnected for a weekend with a photographer I worked with in 2017 who came through on a trip and did two long days with them all over the moab area, and several client sessions in the parks around town). I’d updated both my website and made a quick caard with my info/style breakdowns at the end of last winter to get ready for the season. And then it was basically like. I did my warm up trade shoot with a woman & some models from salt lake on March 2nd, and she told me i’d convinced her to switch from shooting families/client work to models bc it was so much easier to work with professionals. And then 1 week later everything shuts down. And I haven’t worked since obviously.

Except the REST of Utah kept shooting as normal!!! Every day I’d see casting calls and photographers putting together “distanced” group shots but. like hell they were actually doing that. and anyone who came to town who got in touch with me was intentionally traveling to a tourism hot spot that closed down and told visitors to stay out so of course I wasn’t going to work with any of them. 

and now i’ve moved to a new city where i have NO networking connections and can’t start making them for another year. just feels like. a bunch of steps backwards. this move was the next step for my primary career/grad school had to happen eventually but. i’m just really sad to lose such a big hobby. I had 4 big shoots i wanted to hire out for/direct this spring and summer before I left moab but obviously none will be able to happen ever. i was even putting together materials to lead dynamic posing workshops. uhg. i’ve even lost a lot of motivation for self portraits/retouching practice because it feels so pointless.

anyway. yeah. i’m very fortunate this was never the plan for my primary livelihood, but it was nice to have the extra work/cash now and then, and I’m just sad about covid like anyone else.

also i havent brought this up with anyone bc it like... always sounds so weird and vain to talk about modeling as a hobby but it really was like. a skill i actively worked on, a lot. Tons of body awareness and thinking about angles and being aware of your background and surroundings and how to mirror/complement them. I’ve always been good at making shapes but was finally getting my expressions more variable. and ive absolutely lost a lot of that now and am gonna have to start over on those skills too which is just a bummer. cant even remember what lenses add how much compression and how to compensate anymore. uhg.

#/ #/// #// #///// #////// #not bioware content #ramblings #my stuff #my modeling

[chickenfetus]

ALL!!!! (also the gemini sqUAD LOL)

im gonna enjoy a nice cup of water while doing this bc idk a tea (update i didnt drink water at all and now im dying of thirst,, also undercut bc many)

1: Golden mornings or peachy sunsets?

i dont wake up early enough to see the sunrise and when i do i never manage to take pics bc of school so peachy sunsets

2: Sugar cones or waffle cones?

idk what a sugar cone is but i like waffle cones!!! havent eaten ice cream with a cone in forever though,, i rarely eat ice cream now

3: Do you wear scarves often? do you have a favorite?

listen…. its about 33 degrees everyday but even if im in a colder country i dont wear scarves

4: How long do you lay in bed before you finally get up?

this depends?? on how motivated im feeling lmao never more than 10 minutes though because if i lay awake for that long ill just fall back asleep

5: Is there a food you’ve never had but always wanted to try?

i dont think so?? im bad at trying new things especially food

6: What does your umbrella look like?

i dont.. go outside often and whenever i do i take public transport so basically everythings sheltered so i never had a need for umbrellas

7: Do you listen to ASMR?

ive only listened to one everybody please listen to this gift

8: Rain storms or a light drizzle?

both, preferably when im indoors

9: What’s a little thing in life that you love?

hm??????????? my tags lmao 

UPDATE: i also really like reading other people’s tags and their rambles that is all

10: Favorite color aesthetic?

does the word aesthetic make this question any different from a normal favourite colour question???? if it doesnt then sky blue 

11: Wobbly lines or using a ruler?

in this house we draw lines with no ruler like men (but also because even if i did use a ruler it wouldnt be like… straight idk i cant use rulers

12:  Bright colorful living room or neutral cozy living room?

neutral cozy living room but i also love basking in sunlight 

13: Do you have any candles? what scents are they?

im not a big fan of heavy smelling products so i dont own any candles

14: Have you ever rode a horse?

i dont think so??????? ive seen horses before though

15: Do you have glasses?

without my glasses i wouldnt be able to read these questions lmao and . .. theyre also a result of watching pokemon too closely to the tv at a young age… its been like 10 years since i got glasses

16: What’s a language you’d like to speak?

japanese i tried speaking it but i got 2 embarrassed to say anything properly while i was in japan (i cant even speak english properly to a friend whyd i think i could speak another language to a stranger beats me) 

17: What’s your favorite season and favorite month in that season?

my singaporean no season ass: ? but autumn and november (is this cutting it too close to winter? idk my seasons)

18: Do you have a favorite pair of socks?

hm not really i just wear blue ankle socks a lot but my friend did give me a pair of pokemon and gudetama socks before and i adore those although i lost the gudetama ones in the uk last year she got me another pair whatd i do to deserve her?

19: Favorite Ghibli and/or disney movie

m .. um? big. hero 6?????? 

20: Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar?

my dumb ass didnt know they were different

21: What snacks do you usually get at the theater?

i rarely go and watch movies anymore but when i did watch a lot of movies with my friend at the theater we’d get afternoon shows and sneak mcdonalds in lmao

22: What’s an underrated video game/ movie/ show you love and think it needs more recognition?

how about band? day6 i only ever play pokemon + sif + bandori so i cant say much and i rarely watch movies and a show? if its an anime id say the one i mentioned before in my one text post 

23: Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb?

not really rip 

24; All plants are great but do you have a favorite?

HM mmmmmm there was this one but i forgot the name lmao pass

25: Do you have a favorite type of art style? (eg: soft looking, no to little color, sketches, crisp and clean, minimalist, pixel art etc.)

when im the … audience? what do u call it???? i like seeing all kinda of art styles!!! everyone has their own unique art style and i love it all :o

for ME,, , ive been doing art for 6 years maybe and i still cant do shit

26: What would you do if someone gave you flowers?

i would die straight up die thats such a soft concept i cant imagine myself receiving flowers thats 2 sweet oh my god wtf id combust??? i prefer leaves though is that weird i picked some nice leaves recently and im gonna give those to my friends

27: Do you like nicknames?

giving and having nicknames is my favorite past time

28: Do you still watch shows you watched when you were a kid? even from time to time?

pokemon lmao thank u 4 not ending it…. the animation has only improved and im so proud to have been watching it since the start pokemon is my special thing i love it so much!! an interest that never died down, with an anime that stays super like idk to my preference? i tried watching the new digimon stuff but i just couldnt :^( im glad they made ash stay the main character 

29: Do you still like old memes? (tell the truth)

never forget dat boi

30: Favorite Halloween costume you dressed up as? (if you don’t celebrate halloween have you ever cosplayed or would you like to? who did you cosplay as?)

we dont celebrate halloween and i would never cosplay, big shoutout to cosplayers though!!! they put in so much effort and just, respect!!!!! 

i dont know if this is an actual memory because i dont remember well but when i was younger i thiNK? i had to dress up as a swan thing i have no clue i dont even remember the performance but i might have had to ?? and dance??? or act i dont remember everythings fuzzy but i dressed up a swan once? in kindergarten ????? 

31:  Are you a fashionable person?

i have the worst fashion sense and even though jeans are nice once again the weather here doesnt allow me to be as fashionable as i can be

32: Do you like watching holiday movies?

not realyyy??? the jack frost (rip) movie was ncie????

33:  Cookies or brownies?

i live 4 chocolate chip cookies but too much is . . not preferable

34: Do you blow in the cold air just to see your breath?

no i hate breathing in & out from my mouth

35: Do you find the crickets chirping outside your window relaxing?

WELL from the great cockroach ordeal last night id probably die bc we live in an apartment building so the only way id be hearing crickets would be if they were in the ROOM 

36: Do you like cobblestone streets?

my only knowledge of cobblestone is from minecraft so idk

37:  How often do you doodle?

when school was still relevant i would doodle as soon as i picked up a pencil lmao i try not to anymore bc i doodled on my math assignment and forgot to fucking erase it and my math teacher called me out

38: When was the last time you blew bubbles?

a year ago?? i dont remember but i do remember when i was younger id try and blow bubbles at the void deck do yall kno what that is its just a space near the lift lobby anyway i swallowed the soap thing idk u know how ur supposed to blow? well i sucked the soap in yum

39: What’s your favorite random piece of decor in your house and room?

in my room its the bed and in the house its the water bottle that contains water

40: Do you bite your fingernails off or clip them more often?

i………………………… i dont actualy kno how to clip my nails and my mum would kill me if i tried but i dont bite my nails either

41: Any birthmarks?

not that i know of

42: Thoughts on freckles?

ive never actually seen someone with freckles in public before but theyre good stuff i gueess?? i dont actually have an opinion on them? everyone says theyre cute and all but im just ??? not that i hate freckles tho if u have freckles? thats cool! 

43: First video game you ever played?

pokemon pearl?? either that or megaman on my ps3 OR the bomb square guy????? idk the game name but.. ya

44: what type of bird do you hear most often outside your door?

i dont know what the bird species are but theyre small black birds not crows idk

45: Do you use gifs/ memes a lot when replying to people?

memes yes gifs no bc im not lame like jen

46: Thoughts on spring?

no comment?? i mean? its nice??????? i guess ??? if we had a spring

47: Ideal temperature outside?

oh boy 20 degrees would be enough for me but its never gotten that low before sunny island’s life

48: Cloudy, partly cloudy, or clear skies?

i like clear skies when its bright! but not too sunny and not too warm!!!!! clouds are nice to look at too though

49: How often do you hear airplanes outside?

yeah we live near an airport i dont think anybody uses????

50: Do you enjoy windy days?

windy days are my SHIT back in school our basketball court was open spaced and whenevr wind blew we could feel it man thats the life right there but i hate windy days when im sitting at home bc it flows the curtains rigth into my face i like the feel of the wind and the smell of fresh air but… curtains in my face? not 2 great so rip i close all the windows lmao

okay thank u so much 4 asking falen i love you and wow this was a lot

#im laughing icb i asked u to ask me thank u for asking #ur a good pal #softshouyous #asks