#i havent drawn this girl in ages remember when i would only draw her and satori??? crazy

[ackalice]

Hiiiiiii how are ya?? :D Been a while, sorry I've been sucked into another fandom lol Anyways I found this and thought: why not ask my fren! :3 Here's an ask thing

1. who's your favorite oc?

2. who was your first oc?

3. how many ocs do you have?

4. have you kept all of your

ocs since the beginning?

5. are any of your ocs based

off of a show/book you like?

if so, who?

6. what is the species of the

majority of your ocs?

7. are any of your ocs an

original species? if so,

what's the species and who?

8. if you can, draw (oc name)!

9. write a few sentences as

(oc name)!

10. are any of your ocs part

of a story? if so, what is it

about and who's in it?

11. do you have any twin ocs?

12. are any of your ocs

siblings?

13. what is the gender of the

majority of your ocs?

14. make up a new oc right now

based on (concept/show/color/

etc.)!

15. would you ever give up any

of your ocs?

16. who is your oldest oc

(age-wise)?

17. have you ever roleplayed

as your ocs?

18. how many of your ocs were

adopted from someone else?

19. who is your least favorite

oc?

20. which oc do you think has

changed the most since you

made them?

21. who is your newest oc?

22. have you ever cosplayed

your own ocs? if so, who?

23. which oc do you think has

affected you the most as youve

grown with them?

24. have you gotten cosplayers

of your ocs? if so, of whom?

25. do you have any ocs that

you havent drawn/written as/

talked about in a long time?

if so, who?

(Please ignore this if you either don't want to answer or have had this sent to you already)

OH MY GAWD THE QUESTIONS

Hi meelu!! I’ve been alright, just very inactive because of busy busy life stuff- but I saw this pop up and I wanna answer dis cuz I luv u my moot!

Alrighty anyway OC QUESTIONS MY FAVORITE!!

1. Favorite oc: my favorite oc out of all of them? Uhhhh good god- I’m gonna say my favorite is my very first oc, C.J., because she was a very big part of my early art journey. And also she was very cringy and I love her for it.

2. First oc: whoops I answered this- it was C.J.! She was a generic fox girl I made when I was a very itty bitty kid.

3. How many ocs: don’t judge me here- from what I counted just now it’s 56. There could be more that I’m forgetting, so it’s pretty iffy. But I do remember that the number got up to 60 at some point.

4. Have you kept all your ocs since the beginning: Despite how many I have, it’ll be a surprise to hear that I have actually retired a bunch. And by a punch I mean probably over 15. This does include C.J. And her band but only because I felt like I wasn’t using her enough and she had done her part for me.

5. Are any of your ocs based on a show or book: HELL YEAH! God, dude there’s a lot. Well- I say a lot but it’s not 56 a lot- anyway-

I made warrior cat ocs, like anyone, but those were retired. I based a series I have, Remnant, off of magic girl shows but it’s too far from any of them to be directly from those media. There’s The Owl House, which was several ocs I never continued using (and I’m sad I never did), there was a Brand New Animal oc I scrapped, and of course there are more that didn’t leave the sketch phase.

I guess you could count fnaf, but that’s a given.

I also had some Helluva Boss ocs that I have sketches for and even started a comic for- but when I say a comic I mean half a page was finished and I lost motivation.

Good lord I just remembered I had a whole mlp next gen. So I made a crap ton of mlp ocs- anyway-

But then you delve into two of my favorite shows and you go down a rabbit hole of history I’m not going into- which is My Hero Academia and Tmnt. I’m saying Tmnt in general because I’ve put my ocs into several shows in the franchise. Tmnt has ocs I’ve mentioned before on this blog and MHA has seven ocs of mine, that’s Jejeru, Kami, Kai, Kianami, Marikaida, and Chinatsu. I’ve fallen out of the fandom but I might use them in future, who knows!

6. What is the species of a majority of your ocs: Okay. So. This question is very hard to explain because I delve into some WACK species genetics with my ocs- Remnant is literally based on splicing genetics. But if we are being honest, most of them either started out or were, at the beginning of their story, human. So I’m gonna go with human. The second place runner is definitely an animal crossed with a human though because those are just fun.

7. Are any of your ocs an original species: Yes, actually! I’ve got several. Not that they have names or official species types or backstories or anything, but they sure are there. I’m gonna describe random characters I’ve put together with no specific species in mind.

Lufoa, an oc I did a ramble on a while ago, is not crossed with any known animal. That’s actually part of her story, but I haven’t worked it in yet. Another I could count is Artemis, but I don’t know exactly what she is- I haven’t explained it yet. There’s also my oc Alice, (NOT A SELF INSERT) who’s some kind of demon. I dunno what kind but she’s also there.

!INTERJECTION!

I’m gonna be skipping 8 and 9 because I’m running very low on the creative juice and haven’t drawn or written for fun in a WHILE and just don’t have any motivation for it- I’m so sorry abt it but I’ll answer the rest gladly!

10. Are any of your ocs part of a story: Quite a few of them are, actually! The one’s based on tv shows and books are obviously apart of one, but I’ve got a few I’ve made up on my own. There’s Remnant, the big magical girl-ish show series about teens participating in a high grade school and also accepting genetics testing to be apart of the military (main character is not aware of this second part in the slightest, woOooOoo plot~). I’ve got Midnight Misteps, which is a similar concept but it’s the apocalypse and new species and monsters and cryptdids roam around while our main cast tries to rebuild society again. I have Vivian and Fin, the two characters I don’t have a series name for yet where Viv meets a demon through accidental circumstances but turns out it’s not accidental and she’s been kidnapped by literal Hell but she doesn’t know for a majority of her time down there. And then you’ve got Camila, the rich pink and proper girl who meets secret agent Thomas under the impression he’s just a grouchy guy and then gets roped into a big gang conspiracy in her town and has to avoid these dangers with her new cop buddy all while in heels.

So yeah I’m doing great with work in progress projects

11. Do you have any twin ocs: yes! I’ve got one set, and they’re fnaf ocs, if you can imagine it. I reworked a sister location oc around a few months ago and doubled her into two people! That’s Frankie and Danny, the sweetheart engineers! One of them isn’t a sweetheart, but yadda yadda, plot and story stuff- I’m movin’ on!

12. Are any of your ocs siblings: oh. My. God. Yes. It would be very hard for me to pick them all out and name them, but let’s just say yes. Yes, there are many. I’ve got one set of sextuplets in there somewhere-

13. What is the gender of most of your ocs: Female. It’s so female it’s unfair. I’ve been getting better at this, but I still prefer drawing women over men and I have no idea why?? It’s nothing negative or anything- I just think I started drawing girls and just kept drawing girls and completely missed the boat I had to jump onto to draw guys anatomy correctly. But I’m getting better!

14. Skipped again because creative juices….aughhhhhhh….I’m tired of not having energy to draw ;-;

15. Would you ever give up any of your ocs: Okay I’m gonna assume this is talking about giving up an oc to another person- like an adopt situation- and uh no. I don’t think I would be able to do that just because I have emotional connections to literally all of them. I love them too much to just hand over their birth certificate, y’know?

16. Who is your oldest oc (age wise): oh hah. Okay, so I’m inclined to say C.J., because I ended her story with a cute little story of her growing old with her partner in a little cottage in the countryside- but! I’m gonna give this one to Paula Fidreas, a Remnant oc, because she is quite literally in her 50’s as of the start of the story. In the simplest terms, she’s a PE teacher.

17. Have you ever roleplayed as your ocs: Yes! C.J. Was actually made from a role play! And I think I’ve role played as Camila before, but that memory is a bit fuzzy.

18. How many of your ocs were adopted from someone else: None of em’! They’re mah babies, tried and true.

19. Who is your least favorite oc: I don’t count her in my oc count but Adelaide’s adoptive mom is definitely my least favorite. As a character she has a purpose in the story but I would never use her again or draw her in detail. I don’t know, she’s just there for character development at the moment.

20. Which oc has changed the most since you made them: Vivian. Definitely Vivian. Not just because she’s the oldest of I still use, but she’s also went from a brown haired girl with zero personality and a boyfriend to a troubled teenager who is too weird and different to have friends so she seeks out companionship in the land of the dead.

21. Who is your newest oc: I mentioned them earlier and this totally breaks the abruptness of me mentioning them once out of nowhere, but the sextuplets are my newest ocs. Out of all of them, Orion is the newest because I came up with his concept first.

22. Have you ever cosplayed your own ocs: Alas, I’ve never had the determination nor the money nor the confidence to do such a thing, BUT I ALMOST DID. When I was little I almost cosplayed C.J. Because I had no other ideas for a halloween costume. I didn’t end up doing it because I chickened out. Kinda wish I did though..

23. Which oc has effected you the most as you’ve grown with them: I’m gonna give this one to Alice, actually. She’s the basis of my online persona and username, if you couldn’t tell- and she was with me through quarantine. That was a joke, but no really, she consumed my art that last year.

24. Have you gotten cosplayers of your ocs: No, lol- I don’t know near enough people or anyone who would do it. And if anyone did do it, I would be dead upon seeing or hearing it because OH MY GOD?? You thought my art was good enough to put time and money into a COSPLAY?? THANK YOU???? We’re getting married. Put on the ring.

25. Do you have any ocs you haven’t used in a long time: y e a h… I haven’t ever mentioned Pepper here. She’s uh…okay- imagine Entrapta from She-ra but ten times worse and no moral code. Evil scientist. That’s all I have to say here.

MEELU THANK YOU I NEEDED SOMETHING TO DO LOL

I’ve been off tumblr for a while bro thank you for bringing me these! They were so fun <3

#mutuals #mutual shenanigans #ask #ask game #insta thought #oc

[digimonyuri]

pebble

#art #fanart #touhou #touhou project #Koishi Komeiji #touhou 11 #eyes #eye strain #i havent drawn this girl in ages remember when i would only draw her and satori??? crazy

[11toe11-blog]

oNce again on that sTreet

I suppose I am at a point where, i need to sit down and draw this out of me. Clean the well.

Shuba asked me yesterday. Why dont i write. I do. Almost every other day. About something or the other. As observations. Contemplations. Very rarely once in a while meanders into poetry and almost never creative fiction.

I am...afraid of fiction.

There i said it. 

I suppose then its corollary goes that I am afriad of reality. Maybe. 

But let me start with fiction and try and lean into the obvious and apparent fear of fiction. As i write i notice a weight, a clenching in the middle of my chest. And rolling up to my throat. 

But lets persist this one time. 

I am making it a point to note the very obvious physical sensations as i write. 

So yes, fear of fiction.

Yesterday Rajiv shared a talk between Marina Abramovic and Alejandro I ( I forget the surname but the same guy who made birdman). Talkin about Virtual Reality as the next frontier of creative exploration after film, he mentioned about how the human brain makes no distinction between reality and fiction. Obviously more so in case of VR, but garden variety novels and comic strips and books and stories and theatre and film and all of that fall into that space where the brain makes no distinction between what is my reality lived and expereinced and, even if briefly the story of another. From experience i know, some of us are better than others at extricating ourselves from the story we entered to continue walking in the present, many of us carry the seeds and suggestions of te story, and many many of us  remain in the story. 

That makes stories very powerful and dangerous.

That makes story tellers very powerful and dangerous.

Layers and layers of stories wrapped around. Layers and layers of memories. Layers and layers of connections. Gateways of infinite possibilities on one had. And very own, home spun energy leeching coccoon on the other.

My brain particularly has had difficulties distinguishing stories and reality. Ive grown up with stories. Like most kids. Like most kids who loved loved listening and reading to stories and were surrounded by generous adults who lavished attention as stories of adventures great and small, stories read or retold or instantly woven.

By the time i started on film, I could watch a movie. And sit then later sit and play the whole thing back and watch it in my mind. My own personal Netflix. I could run it when ever i was alone - in the loo, before i slept, when i woke up, yada.

After my sexual encounter with an older cousin at the age of 8 years, these films began to have distinct sexual content too. I could replace characters. Mix up relationships.  Easily enter relams of taboo.  So while outwardly i was struggling with the shame and social anxities and adaptation, my inner world and ofcourse my body demanded the thrill of the grind. That heightended feeling when one could rub ones vagina against something. A swollen penis covered by denim, a leg, a thigh, another vagina, pillow.

Well, given a young girl in kerala, i am sure you can imagine the confusion of the middle class family facing their own share of social and emtional hardships. The school that preffers children like a batch of uniformed cupcakes. Encountering this strange child who seemed wild and untamable. Plenty of trashings and socail embarassments and isolations.

Ofcourse not to mention, adventures. And misadventures.

I suppose since my mind could go anywhere, into any restricted area, physical restrictions made no sense. I remember dreaming up a story of the romance between two of my young teachers, both married to different people. Can you beleive the thrashing i got when i started telling these stories and it finally reached my teacher.

Or of imaging the sex lives of the young Brahmin couple with a child and parents living with them. I imagined them waking up after everyone had gone to bed and first the guy would make his way to the bathroom aoutside and then the wife would follow him. And there they would have steamy sex, have a quiet shower together and sneak back into the house. 

I was happily making porn even before internet.

Well. I suppose so was the rest of the state, i suppose. The older i grew, i dont think i accepted it because i probably had drawn a veil of self-propriety, most of the people around me too were living out imgained sexual fantasies. That was hard to accept. 

Like knowing that my father had affairs of sorts, or walking into him holding the handsof the servant girl in the darkest corner of the house and him suddenly making a scene about her having not done some work and her giggling. Or my mother hinting constantly at my fathers transgressions and waywardness, possibly to allay her own pressures and guilt of pleasures. 

Knowing that my mother lied to me about her relationship with her best friend...what was simple and liberal suddenly turned murky. And murkier when she had a strange toxic sexual relationship with the substaff in her office. Depiste the sick sadomachotistic territory it went through and put all of us through, the class-lessness also  mattered to me too i suppose. And years of silence and protecting honor and holding the family together and all those things

A simultaneous tightening and release of the chest.

Why did i  meander into this dark alley? Because stories are full of dark alleys. The mind is full of dark alleys. How to shine some light could be what stories are about. 

BUt then, in the hands of some, its possible to turn off the lights too with stories.

In my adult identity, i am surrounded by storytellers. Not passively as a book full of shelves or a netflix account. But the creators - film makes, illustrators, theatre makers, movers, singers, spiritual seekers, dream makers. At briefly before - journalitsts, PR gus, activists, hope makers. And before that colleges/ schools - naarative makers.

So yea, I am surrounded by storytellers. I chose this, obviously. I chose in my life path to be surrounded by storytellers. Yet i want nothing to do with them . 

As much as a part of me years to play and spin with them. Another part of me is terrified of them.

The tricksters.

Who can make one buy into anything. Any idea. Lose ones self in a moment. 

Offer ones mind on a platter. Mind and energy. 

I doubt their intentions.

What do they want my attention for?

What are they going to do with all this attention they are getting? All this fuel they draw out of people and surroundings, what are they offering it to? Whose altar do they worship?

Obviously i havent never articulated these out aloud.

 I would be without friends. Well over time i have ver very few anyways. So thats hardly the problem. I suppose the reasin i have never articulated this out aloud is probably beacuse, the three fingers point at me. I suspect corruption, because i have seen corruption within me.

The creating and dismantling of identities, hunting for attention, people becoming pawns, ambition, self obsession, narcissism, vacume. Addiction to the drama. 

A vehicle, for the archtypes to do their dance. Chewed and spat out and regenerated and chewed and spat out and gathering sharrered pieces of life only to be chewed again. Reminds me of the moringa. BUt clearly the moringa is not complaining. I am. 

Some part of me has had enough. With the circus. The puppet life.

Another part of is there, waiting in the wings on my toes to be swept in.

While i was always curious about the mind, i suppose it was never with this focus, this drive to tame it. And somewhere even in that i know i am still dancing, even if it appears like a non-dance. Kalari, Vipassna, Tai Chi, Tantra, Ramana. Even art therapy.

All of it is for self knowledge. And ofcourse the practises are taking one there, otherwise how else would this note have been possible. Though in my attitude, i am at war. There is a war for awareness and attention. I am at war with my mind. Even as i write it, i know how futile it is - same dog pulling at opposite ends of the same bone. How? Dog will go hungry. Period. 

Meaningless.

I suppose the idea is to trust ones self. And self will take care of the mind. So in effect, even trust the mind because one has already trusted ones self. But my mind has gotten me into so much trouble, made friends with the craziest of archetypes that i am afriad. Yes, i am afriad of it. That it will get me into trouble again. I wont be able to distinguish  and centre. And another archtype will possess and ride me. And my mind, will let it.

And all over again, i will lose my sense of self.

Pain. Confusion. Loss of dignity. Loss of stability. All of that i associate with that. And i am just resurfacing after one recent round. Brinks of insanity.

I suppose that is why i practise and hold on to the forms that have come to me. Kalari, Vipassana, Tai Chi. Thy have travelled through time. Stood the tests of the mind to anhilate them. And with them, Ill hopefully be able to fashion a key. To keep me safe.

Lightening of chest

There i said it. And i see that i am clinging. All this, to be safe. And if it is clinging to safety, it is the ego. Which wants to be safe. The mind wants to be safe from itself. Hirlarious!

Like puppet theatre. One hand plays red riding hood and the other hand plays the big bad wolf.

Distracting me from the puppeteer. 

Why?

If i see the puppeter ill want to be the puppeteer?

Deep breath

I know i have a blindspot. Somewhere. And my attention moves from being the red riding hood or the wolf or the chase. Maybe if i was able to spot the blind spot, ill get to be the puppeter.

The puppeteer who either a good guy or a bad guy, being puppetered in a meta play. In a meta play. Loop. 

Theatre of Earth.

It endless. And no way out. 

Yes, way. Buddha way.

But that doesnt seem to be my question now.

It seems to be, how do i get to play the playwright in one of the plays, at whever level. What is there to lose. Its all only a play. 

Playwright. Setting the frame for the magic. Or witch craft as someone in the comment section of the Marina- Alejandro talk said. Fiddling with the Tao. Not letting nature be. Not letting it be, but manipulating it. Power play. 

The fundamantal question posed by monotheistic practises to the tantric/multi - must the mindscape be meddled with? 

BUt then, unless we are in a continuus state of observation - are we continously always meddling with the mindscape one way or the other? Setting intention , desiring outcomes. God on No God. Arent we taking part in changing the play, upstaging the director, the playwright one way or the other.

Isnt every upstaging also written into the meta play?

What is one to do?

To do or not to do?

Even non doing actively is still doing - reminds ramana.

In flow, even doing feels like non doing - from expereince.

In earlier attempts to create full length work. Infact in earlier writings big or small, iremember most of it being largely dark, and  not wanting to share / put out there the very dark ones. 

My first play, petticoats still sits in paper after many rewritings.Because i couldnt bring myself to put much dark ness out there. Because in the process of rewiting it, i felt i had given into something very dark and powerful, and expereinced wanting to manipulate - lash out at the audience. Expereinced being manipulated - my own life giving way at the seams and lines got blurred.

Powerful forces, i have now come to understand. 

Similar experience with the art therpay project too.

And now a word to get a sense of it - archetypes. 

But hey! I survived. I am writing this am i not. So what am i scared of? The pain and agony and confusion. Losing balance. Giving into the dark egoistic mind.

Somewhere the mind gents hijacked - i stop being the story teller / reseacher and becomes a character - self obsessed and seeking power. One of the default slip intos.

So what am i saying?

So basically, i am/you are saying, i/you want to open this door. But i know this dragon awaits behind it. I have lost it, been mauled by it multiple times. And i am shit scared of opening that door and being mauled. 

Is there a way for me to tame the dragon?

Or should i just walk away from the door and forget all about the dragon. There is a very good chance that it might reappear else where.  Atleast in this case, it is a known devil.

My sisters instagram post just read “ My friend is an artist. And he likes my company. Do i need more validation?” 

A muse, channeler of inspiration. One has been that. But that didnt suffice. I want to be “one of them”, clearly. Yet, i want nothing to do with them clearly.

Do i weild a tool, a weapon or not. 

If i weild it, i can choose not to use it.

If i dont weild it?

I suppose there is so much ego still left in me, that i dont want to play second fiddle. I want my own sunshine. 

Or ……..

Lets look at it another way

is it an exercise is self discovery self knowlege? Then the entire approach is observational - comprehend and understand and question the self - rather than say and state.

An enquirey. v/s An expression

All enquireys are expressions

All expressions need not be enquireys

What is the fundamental question - Abhishek had asked. In my first playwrighting process.

I thought, at that time, that it had to be an intelligent question

Today after a decade of life, i understand that to be - What is the question i am/you are/ one is seeking to find an answer to? What are you grappling with? Articulate it into a question the best you can and explore it the medium of writing aplay. Use your imagination - to move characters- change them, puppeterr - but remember the essence - it is not for you to gain power. Play god, no and then let it go into your head. And be devoured by your own demon. No. Thats happened enough now. So we now know what not to do. And what this is not. 

Now the essence is to - very clearly, scientifically - explore humbly. Approach your gift of imagination - humbly. Opening the door gently. Entering softly - EVERY TIME. With great respect.

And work / play there with the questions. 

And quietly and humbly leave. Taking no more. Demanding no more that thevery process of observation and meaning making.

Reminds me of sandplay.

In the 6 pages and 2 hours, i feel a certain reassurance. I feel like i have asked, without really knowing how to ask. And have been answered to.  Quietly.

Keep the frame wide. And work fiercely to be regular. But with gentleness. And deep honesty. 

Go on and write. 

You can make meaning in many ways for yourself. Writing is one of your earliest tools. Use it to make friends with the dragon behind the door.

You have a very solid physical practise to ground yourself, to navigate the storms. The body practice and the garden. Trust that.

Between the two, the earthing of the physical discipline and access to the mindscapes, you will start finding meaning.

That itself is the purpose. To find meaning.

Remember to enter mindscape, imagination only after knocking on its door. And to close the door behind you as you leave. 

It is the great seas. You know that already. Offer her respects. She will test you to see if you have come/become greeedy. Remind her and yourself that youve come for meaning. ANd truth.

Meaning is truth after all. Layers stacked up, coinciding for a perfect opening. Insight.

Where is love in all this? I wondered

What is not love? Pat comes the answer.

[isaacathom]

Found an incomplete copy of my nano novel from 2013 (unfinished in general, but this specific file has partial chapters and also only a few chapters, because it was like, the computer side copy, idk). wild.

since its very incomplete theres not as much to analyse as in, say, Sinister Beginnings, which I had poured a year or so into and have poured countless hours into since in the form of multiple rewrites and tumblr posts, but hm. one thing i noticed is that i changed the mc’s eye colour at some point between chapter 1 and chapter 5 or so? from amber to blue-green. and i dont remember what Askyla’s deal with generally so I can figure out if that was a deliberate move or just me going ‘red heads with green eyes are my Aesthetic’, even though Askyla’s actually a brunette. unclear whats up with that.

also, like three of the mcs have names starting with A. Askyla, Alexei, Avery, Coda, Isira, Tivan. Christ. and theyre from a town called Alcrael. And Askyla+Isira’s parents are Rowan and Kyra. jesus. the amount of a’s here is off the charts (i say, as someone whose full legal name has 2 a’s and whose full chosen name has 5, lol)

i cant even really tell what te dynamic is? Isira is nervous, Coda is confident, Askyla is cheeky except when it comes to the whole ‘i hate my mum’ thing with 0.0 okay, shit, uhhh Avery is the ladies man in that at leaaaaaast two of the girls are into him (Isira and Askyla, awkward).... Tivan and Alexei are the confusing ones because I can’t totally tell. Tivan’s the braggart maybe? Alexei’s a bit of a jerk? UNCLEAR! I’m missing bits because the ‘full’ story is on my yarny account and yarny has been taken down to maintenance (god speed matt)

i do sorta like Rowan, who is the focus of the part of chapter 8 i still have, since from what I can tell he had just witnessed his wife be murdered, killed her attacked, narrowly escaped a collapsing stable on his horse, and escaped his burning town because of his silver cloak that it part of his uniform as a member of the Opal Guard. I’m not sure where I was going with him after that point, since the file end after someone suggests he pretend to be a member of the invading army and try and convince them to retreat, which seems like an extremely bad plan that is guaranteed to get that man super fucking murdered, which is a hell of a way to go. Dying cause you followed the advice of a charismatic 14 year old (?). also dying before you have the chance to tell your daughters, who you love a lot and havent seen in ages, that their mum is HELLA dead, like super fucking dead. woof. I don’t honestly remember if Rowan died or not, as its POSSIBLE he decided not to follow Avery’s bad advice and just rode ahead to the copper center, meaning he would show up later and also then bear witness to his daughter (younger? older? i havent figured out the ages, i assume theyre twins tbh) get fucking bludgeoned with a shovel because THAT was the plan for her, for some reason, because idk a guard got spooked when she used water magic despite being clapped in irons and fucking panicked??? i guess?????? it was wild. i never wrote that part but i DID plan it nd thats fucked up, man, shit.

okay so ive had a look at some of the notes i had on tumblr and i think rowan does survive the attack on alcrael, which is again, SUPER fucking rough because having to explain to your daughters that their mum is hella dead and ALSO then having your youngest daughter killed by your fucking employers is like, Bro, BROOOOO. bro. also i have written that rowan was “going to have the leave alcrael permanently” which is a bit of a ? what was happening. aside from what appear to be written as abusive behaviour from Kyra, which, YIKES. Like, is it purely him going ‘yea im out of here peace’ and would be reaaally have not taken his older daughter with him, a girl who a) adores him b) is vocally unhappy living with her mum and he knows it and c) WANTS to join the guard? like. Rowan. Bud. Surely you can fucking wrangle something. Surely you can find a retired colleague in the center who can look after your daughter and get her the fuck out of there. jesus. okay. not the point i was 14 and didnt know how to write. woof.

i havent found notes about the shovel thing but im so confident the shovel thing happened because it was part of a whole thing with askyla finding out shes an iron mage, iirc? specific unclear, im pretty sure i have pictures drawn somewhere about the askyla/avery thing and the fight those drawings are set in are post isira getting killed by the Authorities for Reasons (????? shes like 12 dude what the fuck)

‘the first scene i planned with the court scene’ THE WHAT SCENE. WHAT. WHAT. what is the court scene???? isaac what.

god im gonna have to try and find the remnants of this at some point, i simply wanna know what the fuck i was doing, my notes are all on the yarny so matt, im looking forward to it

#for real what #anyway i gotta go to bed but on god im confused #im POSITIVE about the shovel thing like. im 90% sure that the kids get captured for Reasons and that Isira freaks out #and starts doing magic when she shouldnt be able to (cause iron) and the guard panics and grabs the nearest object and just. whack? #cause like shes in irons he cant use magic? i think? hence weapons. or. yknow. a fucking shovel! to the head! of like a 12 year old!!!!!!! #bro what #i HAVE to have notes about this i cant be bullshitting im so positive about the shovel thing it has to be something i planned

[slooowhands]

plots plots plots plots

ok but someone give me that cute bartender storyline though? like this guy tends bar at a restaurant or a pub or something and always sees this cute girl hanging out there, but she’s always either with friends or with some guy so he never really gets the time to talk to her BUT ONE DAY she walks into the place alone and orders so many drinks until she’s so bloody drunk, screaming about how her boyfriend cheated on her, that the bartender had to bring her home himself. she wakes up with a horrible hangover, stumbles out the room to find the bartender cooking breakfast and rolling his eyes, laughing. “first of all, you’re an idiot. second, we didn’t have sex if that’s what you’re wondering. third, breakfast will be ready soon. sit.”

2. where these tWO PEOPLE ARE HOUSE MATES OR ROOM MATES, OR I DONT KNOW!! THEY JUST LIVE TOGETHER!! and muse a is a smug a-hole. they’re so cocky, and so confident, and they’re kind of a nuisance, but they also have a lot of redeeming qualities. they’re truly a chaotic neutral. but they also have a heart of gold truly they just don’t show it a lot.. until

muse b. who is a shy little nobody. works hard, puts their nose down and studies through all the chaos. basically wears flower crowns and smiles at people just because. and muse a is immediately drawn to muse b and their wholly good nature.

so what does muse a do? what they always do. flirt. and its worth it to see muse b get all flustered and unsure, because muse b is a good sweet nobody!! what is happening!! but god muse a is hot, and so confident that it makes muse b get all hot under the collar, secretly.

cue, muse b walking in on muse a hooking up with someone. and muse a doesn’t even stop, they just smile and grin at muse b as they get all flustered. muse a just keeps showing off, by walking around the house naked. or moaning extra loud at night. they’re baiting muse b. and muse b ??? yeah… they’re losing the battle. even though muse b knows muse a is a player … but then, maybe when they finally do get together, muse a is actually this super sweet, caring, ‘are you sure?’ ‘is this okay?’ sorta person and they’re both hEART EYES.

3. okay but give me a plot where the guy knocks up this girl (maybe it was a one-night-stand or they’re fwb or they’ve been dating for a really short time) and they both decide that it’s best if they stay friends, then he sleeps around a lil and doesn’t really care but when he hears that she’s going on dates he stops and starts to get jealous and he’s all “um no other man is getting near my baby” and ???

4. Based off remember me:

muse a is a smug, know-it-all college dropout that works in the bookstore and audits classes purely to learn and show off his intelligence to unprepared professors. because of a troubled past and broken relationship with his parents, he becomes the cliche bad boy, doing drugs, smoking, drinking, etc. one night while out with his roommate, muse a gets into a fight in an alleyway behind a bar with a few random drunk guys that gets quickly broken up by the police. The chief of police pays special attention to muse a after he makes a few smart comments and makes sure to leave him with a black eye. The next day muse a and his roommate see the chief's car pull up to the university. before they could run away, they see a girl (muse b) , around their age, get out of the passenger side. Muse a’s roommate immediately hatches a plan for muse a to seduce muse b, make her fall in love with him, then dump her, breaking her heart and getting back at her father. Muse a agrees and quickly makes a move on muse b. Everything seems to be according to plan, but muse a starts to realize that muse b is actually making him a better person and for once he feels genuine happiness. muse a decided to ditch the plan for revenge and decided to pursue a genuine relationship with muse b. But what happens when muse b wants to introduce muse a to her father?

5. Based off of carolina- harry styles:

Muse a is an aspiring [actress/singer/songwriter/dancer.. etc] that moves from south carolina to los angeles after her grandma encourages her to pursue her dreams before it’s too late. as muse a starts to adapt to her new life in l.a, her friends decide to set her up on a blind date just for fun. when muse a shows up, she realizes that her blind date is none other than muse b, a famous heartthrob singer living in l.a as he finishes his latest album. muse b is instantly fascinated by muse a, she was down to earth, outgoing, and she hardly knew anything about him, which was rare for him. the night goes well, but muse a tells muse b that she’s not looking for a serious relationship, especially with such a public figure, resulting in the date to be their last. but this single encounter inspires muse b to write a song about muse a, confessing his feelings for her to the world. months later, muse a wakes up one morning to shouting outside of her window as well as hundreds of notifications on her phone, linking to her several articles pinning her muse b’s new “mystery girl”. muse a decides to track down muse b to confront him about the song, but as they meet again, muse b makes it clear his feelings still remain, while muse a has already moved on to another man.

6.

i don’t know if it’s been done but how about the complete fuckboy who is so used to routine. he picks up who he wants, it’ll be easy and if he’s lucky they’ll put up a challenge but they end up in the alley or in the men’s room and he always has the courtesy of kissing them goodbye and never seeing them again. and it’s like every saturday, he’s at the bar and he spots a pretty girl and she looks the perfect amount of innocent (he’s not up for a challenge tonight)  but theres a bit of banter going and eventually she ends up in the backseat of his Jeep and when they’re done he’s leans in with a grin, memorised almost like a catchphrase, “thanks for the great sex babe” to kiss her goodbye but she turns her cheek at the last minute, offers him a sweet smile “cute. that was great sex for you?” and just like that the fuck boy’s been fucked and she’s smoothing her skirt down and disappearing out of the backseat and he needs to find her again, needs to prove her wrong and it’s almost obsessive the way he needs her and suddenly hes just like one of the many girls that chase after him following a mediocre one night stand.  

7. 

a “i’m getting married next week to a girl i’m not even sure i love but hey at least my brother is throwing a kick ass bachelor party for me!!!! this stripper giving me a lapdance right now kinda looks a lot like my high school sweetheart that i havent seen in years — holy shit wait its her” plot !!!!!1!

8.

muse a (19-22) is a photography college student in manhattan, and muse b (23-25) lives in the upper east side where he works with his dad in their big real estate company. muse a always puts her work first, and thinks she doesn’t have time for relationships in this stage in her life, but she still gets hers ya feel, and is used to guys trying to tie her down. muse b spends all of his time being an irresponsible rich brat, he goes from girl to girl, never wanting to commit to anyone. one day muse a is asked to take pictures of muse b’s building, and he meets her there to let her into the apartment. muse a’s beauty and confident demeanor instantly draws muse b in and so instead of leaving after he let her into the apartment, he hangs around and they get to talking and then bam they’re having sex on the floor. they exchange numbers and it’s a pretty casual thing, muse a will call muse b up at 3am, they’d have sex, maybe get some food or talk a bit, but that’d be it, until muse a’s lack of interest for something more from muse b makes him want something more from her. but what if muse a truly doesn’t feel the same way?? and if she does, what if muse b’s parents don’t approve of a non-socialite girl???

9. so like i really want a plot for a couple that’s abusive on both sides and just have angst all over the damn place. like they’re both insecure, possessive, easily jealous, and easily offended. like they’ll be out on a date or something and a boy would just look at her and he would basically kick the guys ass while she tried to pull him away and then they’d go back home later and he just you liked the way he looked at you didn’t you and then they’d fuck. and and she would visit him at school or work or something and she’d see him just talking to another girl and basically try to kick her ass but he pulls her away and she’d grill him on who she was and just tell him to fuck himself and storm off. but they’d also have their really cute moments like he’d sing her to sleep and she’d surprise him in the morning by cooking breakfast and they’d build blanket forts and play the floor is lava in their little apartment and just im b e g g i n g. 

10. ok but how angsty would a plot be where muse a and muse b are best friends and have been for their entire life and there’s always been this sexual tension neither wanted to admit until one night they both get a little drunk and hook up but a week or two passes and muse a finds out she’s pregnant with muse b’s baby and she doesn’t know how to even bring it up with muse b and it’d be so good bc there’s so many different ways u can go with this 

11.okay but forbidden relationship plot where muse a is in a band and there’s a clear rule of not getting involved with anyone’s sibling bc cant disrespect bro code man cmoN!!!! but obvs muse b walks in and she’s muse c’s (npc) little sister and she instantly hits it off with muse a which earns him hella stern looks from muse c and warning lectures like yo thats my kid sister better stay away but they have rlly rlly good chemistry and they can’t really stay away so they have to try rlly hard to keep their relationship hella lowkey bc her brother can’t find out and neither can the public bc obvious reasons???? and like the only time they can ever be alone and do whatever they want is in their hotel room when she visits bc they don’t want to raise suspicion in public and there are so many rumors of muse a going out and about with some other girl and just so much angsT???

12. 

muse a and muse b were high school sweethearts, during senior year, muse a found out that she was pregnant, it was two months before graduation but they figured out how to keep it as a secret. having an athletic scholarship in one of the top university in the city, muse b knows that it would harm his chances for going to a nice college but he loves muse a and was ready to sacrifice everything for her but it was muse a who wasn’t ready and decided to leave him without even saying goodbye. fast forward four years, muse b just signed a contract to be a professional athlete and muse a is a single mom juggling going to university and taking care of their daughter, they met by accident in the hospital when their daughter got sick and he was there for a charity event. 

13. i want a plot where a fan sneaks into a concert by claiming s/he’s one of the band member’s girlfriends (or boyfriends) and the security asks the band member and they’re like yeah we’re dating even though they’re noT AND THEY BECOME LIKE A GROUPIE AND HOOK UP BACKSTAGE OKand then they exchange phone numbers and while the band is on tour they keep talking for a while and actually start some kind of long distance relationship or friendship or something

14. Character A has been the perfect child all of her life, never earning anything lower than a B on her report card. She rarely went to parties, and when she did, she was seen as the DD because she didn’t drink. Her parents couldn’t have been more proud when she was accepted to Columbia University, the college that they had always dreamt of their child going to. She, on the other hand, is only going to please them. She doesn’t want to be a lawyer, nor does she want to go to Columbia. She just can’t bear to let the two people that care and love her the most down. Character B doesn’t have any plans for college. In fact, he doesn’t think he’s ever going to go to college at all. He’s always been the life of the party, and everyone sees him as a fun guy. His mother abandoned him when he was a child, and his dad works two jobs to put food on the table. He understands that college is out of the picture — at least for now. He wants to take his beaten up truck and travel around the country for a year, earning experiences that may help him in the future, but he doesn’t want to go alone.Character A and Character B have been friends since Kindergarden, and she was always the one to settle him down when he got too wild. He, on the other hand, always helped her break out of her shell. They are the perfect pair, and they always have been, but sometimes, they argue a lot more than anyone should.The night after their high school graduation, Character B asks Character A to accompany him on his journey. She thinks he’s crazy. In her mind, Columbia is where she needs to be, and if she skips out on it, her parents will never forgive her. Eventually, he convinces her to skip town with him. Before they leave, Character A drains the bank account that hold all of her college fund.

15. 

what about a plot where muse a is the shy kinda girl who reads all day and kinda just is a bookworm who always stutters and avoids any socializing really until muse b moves in next door, and he’s loud and always playing music, or evens sometimes making his own and when muse a goes and tries to tell him to quiet down some she’s instantly even more nervous seeing how attractive he is and muse b being the cocky asshole that we all know everyone adores is automatically just in a trance because of her somewhat innocent nature and then muse b begins being extremely loud almost every day just for muse a to come over and yell for him to quiet down and he’d just stand there wiTH A SMIRK PLAYING ON HIS LIPS BECAUSE HE JUST WANTS TO LIKE RUIN HER BUT HE LOVES THE INNOCENT VIBE AND ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS WIPE THE COCKY SMIRK OFF HIS LIPS AND PROVE HERSELF TO HIM AND PFSFSD

16. 

I WANT A PLOT KIND OF BASED OFF ’WHATS YOUR NUMBER?’ WHERE MUSE A HAS JUST MOVED INTO THE APARTMENT AND MUSE B LIVES ACROSS FROM THEM AND ALWAYS HAS A GIRL OVER AND THEY ARE ALWAYS SO LOUD, LIKE WHEN MUSE A IS TRYING TO STUDY SHE WILL HEAR THE GIGGLES AND THE VOICES AND THE BED CREAKING AND SHE IS VERY FLUSTERED AND AWKWARD BUT SHE GETS MORE AND MORE ANGRY AND THEN ONE DAY MUSE A IS RUNNING LATE AND RUNS INTO MUSE B AND GETS ALL FLUSTERED AND THINKS THEY’RE CUTE AS HELLA AND THEN SEES MUSE B GO INTO THEIR OWN ROOM AND MUSE A MAKES THE CONNECTION LIKE ‘OH MY GOD THEY ARE ALWAYS HAVING SEX AND ARE SO LOUD’ AND MUSE A TRIES NOT TO THINK ABOUT THEM OR HOW THEY ARE IN BED AND THEN ONE DAY WHEN MUSE A IS LEAVING THE APARTMENT AND THEY FLIRT WITH MUSE B AND A GIRL COMES OUT OF MUSE B’S APARTMENT HALF NAKED AND MUSE A JUST SHUTS DOWN AND THE GIRL GETS ALL ANGRY AND DEFENSIVE WITH MUSE B AND CLAIMS THAT THEY DIDN’T KNOW THEY HAD A GF/BF AND MUSE B GETS CONFUSED AND WATCHES THE GIRL RUN OFF AND MUSE A FEELS BAD FOR MAKING THEM RUN AWAY BUT MUSE B IS LIKE 'ITS OKAY, I WAS TRYING TO GET RID OF THEM FOR AGES’ AND THEN IT SPARKS THE IDEA THAT IF MUSE B KEEPS IT DOWN MUSE A WILL COME OVER IN THE MORNINGS AND PRETEND TO BE THE GIRLFRIEND TO GET THE GIRLS TO LEAVE BECAUSE MUSE B DOESNT DO RELATIONSHIPS.CUE BOTH OF THEM BEING AWKWARD AND GOOFY AND BECOMING FRIENDS AND MUSE B BEGINNING TO BLOW OFF HAVING SEX WITH OTHER GIRLS IN ORDER TO JUST HANG WITH MUSE A AND MUSE A BEGINNING TO REALLY NOT LIKE WALKING IN AND GETTING GIRLS TO LEAVE MUSE B’S APARTMENT BECAUSE MAYBE THEY WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONE IN MUSE B’S APARTMENT

17. 

Muse A is a wealthy CEO who runs their own fortune 500 company in a bustling city. Muse A is in their 30s and has been married to their college sweetheart for 12 years, though the passion between them has long since fizzled out. Muse B is a 20-something, fresh out of college, possessing a business degree and needing to get their foot in the door of the business world. Muse B is lucky enough to be hired by Muse A’s firm and becomes Muse A’s personal assistant/secretary. Muse A and Muse B exchange pleasantries from day to day, but don’t socialize much beyond the details of their business together. One evening, Muse B gets a call from Muse A asking a favor. Muse A must go to a charity gala and their spouse is not able to attend; they want Muse B to attend the event with them. Muse B is flattered and agrees to go for the sake of not letting their boss down. Muse A sends a private car for Muse B along with an expensive outfit for them to wear. When Muse B arrives at the gala, they are blown away by the elegant venue. Champagne is flowing freely and Muse A looks attractive as ever in formal wear. Throughout the evening, Muse A reveals a playful, charming side to Muse B that they don’t get to see in the office. Muse A is flirtatious even, lightly touching the small of Muse B’s back, sliding their arm around Muse B’s shoulder, complimenting Muse B in front of business associates. Muse B knows that they shouldn’t read to heavily into Muse A’s flirtation, because Muse A is married and they work together, but it’s difficult not to get swept up.When the gala is over, Muse A insists that they retire to the hotel room they’ve reserved upstairs until they’ve sobered up some. Muse B agrees to stay and the pair takes the elevator up to a penthouse suite, the likes of which Muse B has only seen on luxury blogs and in travel magazines. Fueled by a mutual attraction and champagne, Muse A makes a bold move on Muse B, crossing professional and marital lines. Muse B feels guilty the next morning, knowing that Muse A is married, but the attraction between boss and employee can no longer be ignored. Over the course of the following weeks, Muse A and Muse B embark on a secret affair; sharing intimate moments between business meetings,  going away on overnight  “business trips” together, indulging in private shopping sprees with Muse B’s platinum card.  

18. 

someone give me a plot where muse a is living in this nyc apartment complex, and the apartment across the hall from her has always been empty, until one day she finally sees someone moving in. she introduces herself to the guy moving in, muse b, and is immediately attracted to him. before long, they end up going on a few dates, although muse b is hesitant at first, and at the end of the third date, muse a tries to invite muse b into her apartment for the night, but he declines. she’s confused and initially embarrassed, until he tells her that she should come into his apartment, because he has something to show her. they walk in and there’s a teenage girl on the couch. muse a is extremely confused now, especially when muse b introduces the girl as the babysitter. it isn’t until a tiny little two-year-old comes toddling around the corner that she realizes that muse b is a single father.